What is in a name? I don’t like silly ones. My feelings about silly names were probably formed during my childhood and relate to the names of our family pets. My family would not give our dogs sensible names like Raymond or Audrey. As a result memories still terrorize my dreams of searching the neighborhood for our runaway dogs, shouting, ‘Chocolate…Foxy…come home.’

I don’t like being required to recite silly slogans to get discounts either. I will not say ‘rooty tooty fresh and fruity’ for a discount, not even for a free breakfast. Forget about ‘biggy sizing’ it. I’ll take a large at full price.

I live in Fort Worth, TX right next to a small city named White Settlement. The name originated back in the wild west era when Fort Worth was a fort with cavalry and native Americans in the area who called the little outpost just west of the fort the white settlement. So, you see, no racial connotation. And yet, there was a movement not long ago to rename the little city because it might be perceived as racist. The referendum failed.

That reminds me of efforts to rename college and professional sports teams with more sensitive names, disallowing any that showed, or were perceived to show disrespect to native Americans. The Washington Redskins told the pc police where to go.

Now Mayor Bloomberg and the NY fat squad are stalking us, pinching our fat, making fun of the spare tire around the waist. New York City is actually planning to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I pity the poor soda-holics of NY. Apparently, they are deemed incapable of deciding for themselves whether to eat and drink healthfully or not. Remember when it used to be legal to make poor dietary choices.

I’m stopping for a giant Big Gulp on the way home tonight.

Speaking of Europe’s debt crisis, I think it’s possible that Greece could be better off defaulting on their debt, quitting the Euro and reinstating their own currency. After two or three years of pain they might recover and be out from under their massive financial obligations. That would be an even bigger problem for the Euro Zone. Spain, Portugal, Ireland and even Italy might decide that the pain is bearable if they are relieved of their debts. They could  just reset their economies and move forward.

I was also thinking about the organized efforts to blunt U.S. power and influence. Russia, India and other countries want the United Nations to control the internet. There is also pressure for the U.S. to ratify the high seas treaty (U.N. Convention on the Law of the Sea) concerning new international law governing traffic on the high seas. Even America’s military leaders would like to see this treaty or some version of it implemented to avoid continued use of gunboat diplomacy. However, those in Congress who are opposed to the treaty say that it would require the U.S. to pay taxes to the United Nations and royalties to other countries.

I am experiencing no similar push against my power and influence. The only resistance I meet is from this broom.

I was thinking about the political factions in this country; about how similar they are, one side fighting against big business while the other side condemns big government. Me? I’m against big draft beers, the ones so big you can’t drink the whole thing before the last third gets warm. Moderate sized draft beers are best.

Finally, I was thinking about Simon Cowell replacing Paula Abdul with Britney Spears. He must have a penchant for unbalanced women. Reports have surfaced that Brit Brit stormed out of an audition when a contestant butchered one of her songs. That report has been denied. I think anyone who chooses to sing one of Britney’s songs should be allowed to lip sync.

Well, here we are again, time to turn out the lights and go home.

Then my attention shifted to something far more important than war in the South China Sea; breastfeeding. Yes, Time magazine ingeniously devised a plot to stir controversy and sell millions of magazines. Breasts will incite debate every time. On the cover of this issue stands a young mother breastfeeding her toddler. Commentators made it their business to discuss every possible angle of this consequential matter.

Was Time just using sensationalism to sell magazines? Yes, and it worked. I visited two magazine stands and both were sold out.

Was the mother immodest? Somewhat,  but not compared to Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. (Forgive me Kate Upton.)

“The child will need therapy.” I doubt it.

The problem with the Time cover is the headline. “Are you MOM enough?” must have been written by a bully. New mothers can feel an undue pressure to breastfeed their infant as it is, without having an authoritative news journal hit them over the head with it.

Further, babies can be harmed by the pressure put on mothers. Consider the experience of one of my family members whose newborn would not nurse. After a few hours the grandmother and a family friend who is a Registered Nurse intervened, insisting that the infant be fed from a bottle immediately. The baby took the bottle nipple right away. Later the baby would nurse some. If loving support had not been available, the newborn could have become dehydrated or even malnourished, causing longterm damage to its health. I have read stories of healthy babies being starved to death because they would not nurse or the mother could not supply sufficient milk. Behind the problem were breastfeeding extremists, who insisted that ‘good’ mothers breastfeed, ‘selfish’ mothers do not. One of the early tv courtroom dramas even created a ‘ripped-from-the-headlines’ episode on the subject.

Next, I thought about the viral video of my girlfriend, Kate Upton, dancing the Kat Daddy and I realized that it was time to turn out the lights and go home.

Then there was the terrible bombing and shooting in Norway this week. I am glad law enforcement has moved quickly in arresting the person allegedly responsible for these terrible crimes. When I think of mass murder, Norway does not come to mind, or at least it didn’t until this week. It’s hard to imagine that a person could turn to such cruel violence because he was a different political persuasion than the duly elected government of a free society. To my knowledge the government of Norway held no political prisoners, nor suppressed the human or civil rights of its citizens. How could someone in such a free and hopeful society turn to terrorism? I don’t know. Also, I have seen reports purporting to reveal what the alleged terrorist’s viewing and gaming habits included. I’m not sure if this was an examination of his personality or a search for influences to blame for his behavior, but I generally don’t care much for such reports because of the tendency of some to explain what is going on in the mind of a mass murderer, something that is probably unknowable.

Now, today, just a few hours ago, the death of Amy Winehouse was reported. How sad! She was such a talented singer and song writer. Her Back in Black album was brilliant. She was such a troubled young woman, just 27 years old. I read some time back that she started life as a happy little girl. Happy, that is, until her parents divorced. ‘She changed at that time,’ her parents said, ‘and never recovered.’ The world could have lived without her hit song Rehab if the trade-off was that Ms. Winehouse could have coped with the divorce of her parents without abusing drugs and alcohol. Of course, the rest of her life was full of loss and trouble, which gave rise to other amazing songs like Love is a Losing Game and Tears Dry on Their Own and You Know I’m No Good. Amy will be missed.

All of this news made me forget about the sexual assault charges against the very rich and powerful former head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK). He resigned his position after being charged and held over for trial. DSK has become the symbol of sexual abuse of women. I’m sure his mother would be proud. The Prosecutor in the case that was actually filed against DSK has backed off due to credibility issues with the accuser, but it turns out there are more victims, credible women, who say he assaulted them. One such victim is a French writer. She says Strauss-Kahn lured her to a barely furnished apartment to grant her an interview—he held an important government position and she is also a journalist—and once she was securely locked in the apartment he attacked her. She fought him on the floor as he pulled at her clothes. She has called him a “rutting chimpanzee.” If this charge and the other accusations against him prove true, he is a serial rapist. Former head of the IMF, possibly the next president of France and a serial rapist. Judging from reports and past history, the French hierarchy don’t seem to think much of rape. They allowed confessed rapist, Roman Polanski, to run around for decades, shielding him from justice here in the U.S. And now some would overlook the accusations of serial rape against Strauss-Kahn to elect him president. It makes no sense.

That brings to mind one more story that faded in the news some time back. The phone hacking and theft of personal photos of the young actress and singer, Vanessa Hudgens. Somebody really hates her. This is not the first time that embarrassing photos of her have been released just as she is set to open a new movie. Whoever hacked her phone and released her personal photos committed a crime and should be punished. That having been said, why do people these days take nude pictures of themselves? I have a camera and I have genitals, but I have never considered photographing them. We used to call genitals “privates” because you were to be very private about them. So, I wondered…if Vanessa Hudgens vagina opened a Twitter account, what would be her first tweet? hmmm…”Dear Vanessa, STOP PHOTOGRAPHING ME!!!” That goes for the rest of us too. We don’t need photographic records of our privates.

Well, look here, my page is less white now. If you read to the end, thank you.