Step 1: Find someone who lost their official Belle and Sebastian bookmark. Decide to make some shoddy replacements to ease the pain.

Step 2:Find some brown card, a hole punch and pens.

Step 3: Turn down offers to go out and socialise with real life people. Cut out luggage tag shapes, punch holes and loop string through.

Step 4: Find B&S quotes which have a suitable ratio of cute to subtle to catchy. Transcribe in a “jaunty” manner. Wonder why you’re doing this instead of being out dancing.

Step 4: Feel slightly chuffed. Post bookmarks. Accidentally arrive at destination before the post does.

There is a moment in all our lives when all you desire is a crude life size cardboard cut-out of someone special. This might of an absent loved one, an arch-enemy or of Rick Witter from Shed Seven. For the purposes of this demonstration I’ve decided to make a replica of Richard Brodie, a non-League footballer of some repute who shares my rosy cheeks but is far better at scoring goals and being really happy about it.

First up, find an appropriate photograph of your subject. Have them looking straight at the camera. Then eliminate all background detail, closely following the body.

This can be done by begging a favour from your arty friend who has a pirated copy of Photoshop and knows how to use the ‘Magic Wand’ tool. Alternatively, struggle with MS Paint for three hours using the ‘eraser’ to eliminate the background pixel by pixel before accidentally swamping the screen with the black paint pot and saving it as a bitmap file.

Step two: Extract the edited image in a super-duper high res format (photo compression was invented to ruin the plans of the aspiring cut-out creator) and download the programme Rasterbator. Allow yourself a quick giggle at the name and feed the photo into the programme.

Step three: Select ‘landscape’ for the paper layout – if you’re doing a person standing up then you probably want the length of two A4 sheets as the width of the person. Click ‘continue’ and enter 2.0 sheets wide on the ‘output size’ screen.

Exactly what Charles Babbage had in mind

Step four: Click continue again and choose the options to generate a PDF file. Ensure that the box showing crop lines is ticked (you’ll want them later), reduce the dot size to the stupidly small 2mm and choose ‘multi colour’. This is not really what Rasterbator is designed to do – its original purpose was to blow up photos to very large sizes utilising black and white dots that at a distance appear as a single image. Here we’re attempting to make a relatively small colour printout that looks really detailed even under close examination – Rasterbator is useful in that it increases the size without pixellation. Click continue and make a cup of tea as your laptop processor struggles to deal with the enormous task you’re asking it do. After a while a PDF will be spewed out. Check it, ensure that it looks detailed enough and that it’s about the right size and then go find a printer.

Brodie in pieces

Step five: Don’t even consider trying this with an inkjet. And I wouldn’t bother using your own laser printer since this sort of project is bad in so many ways – you need very high quality technology, it’ll probably break your machine, and it uses up ink faster that a very irate octopus. The perfect situation is to be a student at a university/college with an ample supply of subsidised printing or work in the photocopying department of a local government office. Given that you’ll be printing about twenty pages it’s probably not worth doing if you’re paying more than 20p a page. If you can find somewhere appropriate then do a test printing of the first page and then if that’s fine then print the rest of the person out. You’ll have some thin borders so you’ll need to carefully guillotine along the crop lines – do it badly and you’ll leave gaps, take off a few too many millimetres and the whole thing will be askew.

Step six: Find an appropriately tough cardboard box. Try going around to the poshest shops at closing time and pick up the largest container you can find with the thickest possible sides. Shoe shops are great, especially upmarket ones. I did Russell & Bromley’s recycling for them, opened it up and cut off the flaps. Remember to check it’s big enough to contain your man – lay it out to check. Buy some standard P.V.A. glue and stick the printout to the cardboard page by page. As you learnt in art class at primary school, remember to spread the glue everywhere but thinly to avoid it bubbling up.

Step seven: Let the glue dry. Stand back and be slightly shocked / appalled / pleased with what you’ve achieved. Then use a Stanley Knife to cut out your man. Start with an inch thick border and then cut it closer if you prefer. There will be some weaknesses in the cardboard where the corners were – strengthen them by using the cut-off flaps to double up the thickness. Attach them to the back using duct tape. Again, wonder why you’re doing this.

Step eight: You’ve done it. You’ve now got a life size cardboard cut-out of your subject. Including printing costs, glue and a knife it’s probably cost under a tenner. But what the hell do you do with it? In this case you realise that you’ve committed yourself to taking this out in public, confronting the fact that you’ve JUST MADE A CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF A LANKY NON-LEAGUE FOOTBALLER and that you have to take it to the FA Trophy final without making it look as though you’re some sort of culturally challenged wrestling fan who accidentally wandered into the wrong sporting event. Oh. Damn.

What have I done to deserve this?

Step nine: Carry the cut-out on public transport through the metropolis, get admiring glances, let people take photos with it at the pub, take it into Wembley stadium and watch the real footballer miss chances to score in a dour match. Realise that everyone prefers a cardboard cut-out replica to the real thing. Consider whether that is a truly philosophical point. Give cut-out away to someone who actually wants it.

No need to get a special Oyster card

Found this site years ago: Make your own Evil Plan

Naturally I filled it in and have pretty much stuck to it. As my plan wasn’t to take over the world I’m pleased to say that it worked for me, it’s all about setting achievable goals you see.

I think it’s always important to have a plan, even if it’s an evil one, if you don’t how will you no what to do each day. My advice, if you haven’t already got a plan go to the site and fill in the form and follow your plan.

I look forward to hearing your success stories/ seeing you on the news in the next few years.

Source: So You’ve Decided to be Evil

OK, before I get on to the actual topic of the day, which is my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, there is something I have to share with you.
According to my stats someone found me last night be searching Google for penis shaped friendship bracelets. I can think of only one thing to say to that, and that thing is WHY?!!?

And now, without further ado, I shall move onto the list.
I am also going to make a page with it on, so in future you will be able to see my progress without having to search for this blog post. Errm, that is, of course, if anyone’s actually interested in my progress. Other than me. Right. Anyway. The list!
I have split it up into sections for ease of reading and stuff…

The Places I will Go
1. Take an intensive Spanish course in Spain
2. Visit 5 places in Germany that I’ve never been to before
3. Eat frog’s legs in France, fondue in Switzerland and goulash in Hungary
4. Go to Europapark (theme park near Freiburg)
5. Go for a ride  in a hot air balloon
6. Go to the Christmas market in Ettlingen
7. Go to 5 other Christmas markets (not including Karlsruhe)
8. See the Northern Lights
9. Go on the London Eye
10. Go to Berlin with my boyfriend
11. Go to Luxembourg
12. Buy a 24 ticket for the Karlsruhe transport network and spend the day visiting different towns
13. Go on a boat on the Rhine
14. Go on an overnight train journey and spend the night in a sleeping compartment
15. Have a picnic in a town I’ve never been to before

Reading, Watching, Listening

16. Read 50 books from the list of books I want to read (which you can find here).
17. Read 15 non-fiction books
18. Read the Little Vampire books in the original German
19. Read War and Peace
20. Read all of the Anne of Green Gables books
21. Read 5 biographies/autobiographies (these will not count towards the 15 non-fiction books!)
22. Read 5 German children’s books
23. Watch every episode of ER – to make life easier for me I will count it down by season.
24. Watch 27 films from the “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die” list
25. Watch a film in Spanish
26. Go to the cinema 10 times
27. Watch 5 films from the year I was born
28. See a Shakespeare play (not Oddsocks!)
29. See a German play
30. See Eddie Izzard live
31. See a musical
32. Discover 3 new (to me) bands that I like and buy an album of theirs
33. See 3 bands/artists live (not at Das Fest)

It’s All About Us
34. Kiss my boyfriend under the mistletoe
35. Cook a 3 course meal for my boyfriend on 3 different occasions
36. Bake Jan a birthday cake
37. Go for a nice meal together at a restaurant we wouldn’t usually go to; get dressed up for it
38. Kiss outside during a thunderstorm
39. *Secret* (No, it’s nothing naughty. Just something I want to surprise Jan with. Keeping it secret until after I’ve done it in case he decides to read this)
40. Get a flat with my boyfriend

Getting Creative
41. Complete a cross stitch picture converted from a photograph that I took
42. Complete 3 other cross stitch pictures
43. Hand make 10 birthday cards and send/give them to family/friends
44. My photo challenge! Assign a theme to each month of the 1001 days & take 50 pictures during that month.
45. Make something and sell it
46. Make a dreamcatcher
47. Take a photo for each letter of the alphabet and make an alphabet book with them (A is for…)

For My Health
48. Eat a portion of fruit every day for 2 weeks
49. Do not eat chocolate, cake or sweets for 1 month
50. Be in bed before 10pm 50 times
51. Walk home from the train station instead of taking a tram 10 times
52. Take vitamins every day for 30 days in a row
53. Go to the dentist

Learning and Education
54. Take 2 more OU courses (apart from the one I already have booked for October)
55. Learn calligraphy
56. Learn basic Russian
57. Learn basic Japanese

Eat Me! Drink Me!
58. Find 10 restaurants in Karlsruhe that I’ve never been to and have a meal there
59. Bake 10 different cakes
60. Make jam
61. Have sparkling wine for breakfast
62. Go vegetarian for 2 weeks
63. Make lemonade
64. Drink a cup of green tea every day for a week
65. Eat fish twice a month for all months of the 1001 days
66. make gingerbread people
65. make mango chutney
66. Find a recipe for garlic soup and make it
67. Find 6 recipes that use avocados and make them
68. Attend a wine seminar
69. Eat one meal with chopsticks every day for one month

Because other people are important too…
70. Host a pancake party
71. Host a tea party
72. Give (at least) 50 euros or pounds to 3 different charities
73. Visit someone I haven’t seen for a while (= more than a year)
74. Bake cookies, put them in a nice tin and give them to someone as a birthday present
75. Write a letter to my grandparents
76. Send 20 postcards for no particular reason

Getting Organised
77. Get all my photos from Hamburg, Prague, belgium, Paris and Rome printed and put them in albums
78. Sort out my underwear drawer. Thow away anything that is holey, losing its elastic or just generally looks shabby.
79. Sort out the clothes I still have at my dad’s. Give anything that is too small or I’m obviously never going to wear again to charity.
80. Find all my recipes and put them in a folder. No more searching the entire flat every time I want to make something!
81. Do my taxes
82. Find all my bank statements and put them in a folder

Money, Money, Money
83. Pay off my overdraft
84. Buy a pair of red shoes
85. Buy a printer
86. Pay Jan back
87. Start paying off my student loan

The Flat
88. Get a new quilt to go with my new bed
89. Get tubs/jars for everything in the kitchen that evil moth beasts might be interested in
90. Get curtains for the bedroom
91. Wash the dishes on the same day I use them for 3 weeks

I like making  lists!
92. Identify 101 things that make me happy
93. make a list of 101 quotes that I like. The list can include song lyrics.

Other stuff, or the I couldn’t be bothered to think of more categories section
94. Build a snowman
95. Buy a colouring book and colour in the whole thing
96. Do a jigsaw puzzle.
97. Join trip advisor and write 10 reviews
98. Go bowling
99. Buy myself flowers
100. Release 10 bookcrossing books into the wild… the proper wild that is, not official bookcrossing zones!
101. Leave the computer off for an entire weekend. Not when on holiday – it has to be a weekend where I am actually at home!

That is it. And I must tell you it took ages to come up with 101 things!
If you decide to do your own 101 things in 1001 days list let me know in the comments box so I can come and look at your ideas

I will be starting to 1001 days on 13th August 2009, which makes my end date Thursday, 10th May 2012.

Next Tuesday, on June 16th, a new exhibition will open in Vienna’s Museums for Applied Arts (MAK). The new exhibition carries the title “Fabrica. For the people, from the people” and will be dealing with Benetton’s thinktank Fabrica. The social engagement of Fabrica will be highlighted from three different angles: There will be a presentation of the project “Colors Notebook” (visitors will be encouraged to participate, so be excited!), some ads that Fabrica did for UNICEF and UNWHO and also some short films about endangered professions.

Fabrica ad

Image by mak.at

- macchinettina digitale mia?
- zììì?
- “è tempo… di morire”
- …

“Ammalato di sclerosi laterale amiotrofica, bloccato su una sedia a rotelle, imprigionato tra infinite difficoltà motorie e verbali, Charles Mingus fu invitato alla Casa Bianca per una memorabile giornata dedicata da Jimmy Carter al jazz. Tra le tante emozioni di quella giornata, ci fu un incontro con Gerry Mulligan che raccontò di una guaritrice messicana. Di fronte all’impotenza della medicina ufficiale, Charles e Sue Mingus si aggrapparono alla remota speranza di un miracolo a Cuernavaca. Il diario reale di quel soggiorno fu scandito da esaltazioni, delusioni, dolore, frustrazione, stanchezza, fino alla morte avvenuta il 5 gennaio 1979. Quel giorno, 56 balene si adagiarono sulle coste della California, lì dove Mingus era cresciuto 56 anni prima”

domenica alle 12 alla casa del jazz, roberto spadoni presenta il concerto “mingus, cuernavaca”.

marco about
vinyl factory

l’alfabeto a forma di cielo, via dezeen

Soooo….My mini machine doesn’t work, there’s something wrong with the bobbin feeder thingy, so am in the process of (trying) to send it back to the seller, I was going to make some placemats at the weekend out of all the old jeans we have lying around the house, but I guess that idea will have to be put on the back burner until I can get a new machine…

…Until then though, I can make this really cute woven button coaster that I found on Craftstylish! It’s really simple, the instructions are really clear, and I think it’s gonna look great!

I’m going to make a trivet for the center of my table – and at the weekend, I discovered that the Ladybird Lady (because she sells Ladybird books) at my local Saturday market – Broadway Market, has the best selection of buttons I have ever seen – I think I have found button heaven!

Image from Linda Perman on Craftstylish

cy twombly alla galleria nazionale di arte moderna

la presente valga come recinzione del concerto di emiliana torrini all’auditorium parco della musica.

andrea galvani

michael stipe <3 thomas dozol, via.
(grazie a quel gran figo di mio fratello)

certo, con la upcoming legge sulla pedofilia culturale chissà se me la lasciano online. questo paese, che belpaese (nel senso del formaggio).

robin cracknell

For those of us who like to make lists and plans (I have an entire notebook filled with them), this journal by Nikki McClure is the perfect solution.

Wanna know what some of my plans for the year are?

• Cut back on sweets to only a couple times a week (or at least less than 5 times a day *cringe*)
• Replace every household product with something all-natural
• Learn not to be afraid
• Sew that dress that has been laying around all cut out for the past three years
• …And about 300,000 other things. Sheesh.

What am I going to do in 2009, or what do I want to do in 2009… Here’s a list

Thing To Make And Do in 1981

Thing To Make And Do in 2009
- Waiting for the new album
- Listening to the new album!!!
- Hope for a U2 concert in The Netherlands
- Finish reading LOTR (I’m now in the first book at +/- chapter 10)
- Read U2 – a Diary
- Finish school and going to University!
- Rereading U2 By U2
- Increase my U2 knowledge
- Hopefully seeing It Might Get Loud
- Having more U2 dreams

That’s all I can think of now…

- ovvero altre cose strane che ho sognato e non dovrei bullarmene qui né con gli amici al bar -

dottore, che vuol dire se ho sognato che cucinavo la pasta al forno disponendo i candeli fuori formato della pasta di gragnano nel ruoto facendo fare loro un allegro girogirotondo? non mi dica che anche qui c’è qualche simbolo fallico. poi mi sono svegliata e la pasta al forno l’ho fatta davvero. ho conflitti non risolti con la figura materna? solo che la dura realtà si è scontrata con il mio subconscio e di cuocere i candeli interi non c’è stato verso. sono evitante, giusto? e rispetto al sogno la pasta era meno buona perché ho scordato il sale. ho poca autostima? però la bechamel per la prima volta non mi è impazzita. vuol dire che il 2009 è l’anno della bilancia, vero? la pre-e-ego.

nel 1991 la collezione jacorossi fu danneggiata dall’incendio di una falegnameria a san lorenzo. non conosco la collezione, ma penso di aver capito dov’era la bottega. da allora i quadri danneggiati (schifano, sartorio, cucchi, de dominicis…) non sono mai più stati esposti. achille bonito oliva è rimasto per diciott’anni, un po’ di più, a pensare che anche quello che è successo alle tele è in sé una forma d’arte, così ha curato una collettiva che in realtà è una personale: le opere sono tutte degli autori di quella collezione e tutte toccate dalla stessa distruzione. sono esposte fino a gennaio nel foyer dell’auditorium parco della musica.

(questo quadro non viene dalla mostra, è di valerie hegarty, via guild & greyshkul)

se passate davanti allo stand di playground libri e non comprate una copia di “cani selvaggi” di helen humphreys sappiate che la prendo come un’offesa personale.