It’s been a while since I started writing about what I’ve been doing – something I’ve been doing for… ever.  I said this morning “I just need to get married, because the majority of this is that I’m just sick of being alone.” – Which is true… to an extent.

I mean yes I’d like to be part of a couple but not just anyone will do.  I miss my ex too, but even he isn’t the one for me.  We were extremely compatible sexually – really compatible.  He could make me cum by touching me – I just thought about it and felt a little jolt – best sex I’ve ever had.  But is great sex enough?  Not at all.

It’s not money, or a pretty face, or style – even though those things are important to me.  It’s something else… and I don’t know what it is I’m looking for in a partner.

I thought I was gay for a while, then I moved to thinking maybe I was bisexual.  I’m searching desperately – flailing around trying to find this thing I want and I don’t know what it is.  I know what I don’t want though.  Boy do I know that extremely well right now.

I don’t want a woman sexually.  I don’t want a one night stand.  I don’t want this empty feeling that accompanies my thirst.  I don’t want the potential embarrassment that could come with fucking random guys in a small town.  I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I know what I don’t want – but this thing I need… it eludes me.

Watch this. It’s John Prescott talking about the Millenium Dome, and it’s hilarious. Great for a thirsty Friday. Worse when he gets into the nitty gritty of trying to justify it to the panel on the Daily Politics. Here’s our podcast, fresh from the front line (pub): have a great weekend!

On the way back from Gatlinburg, my husband, Carl collapsed. An ambulance took him to Haywood Medical Center, Clyde, NC near Maggie Valley where we discovered that he has diabetes and his sugar level was 1000. Compassionate and skillful doctors, nurses, CNAs, and other staff members got his sugar levels down and sent us home Monday Night with insulin and meter machines to check his blood levels. No one in his immediate family had diabetes.  Scary experience for both of us. He is doing better now. I am thankful he is alive. He’s doing very well now. He’ll go to doctor here on Monday, December 7, 2009.

Being calm in the face of an emergency will help you not to give up. I remembered my advice in my Elder Care Guide. Have a notebook to write notes in. I used a folder and asked the registration lady for 5 pieces of typing paper. She gave me about double that. She said, “I’m giving your more, just in case you need it.” I wrote down the numbers of all the people to contact in case something went wrong. However, everyone took excellent care of Carl. I spent the night with him. I slept in a recliner chair. I wrote down the doctors and nurses names who took care of him. I remembered to ask questions and if they didn’t know, I was going to ask, “who could tell me? How can I find out?” But they gave me all the information I needed. Dr. Fox even printed out information about diabetes for Carl’s daughter, Susan and me. She  and her husband, Jeff drove up from Belmont on Saturday at 6:30 a.m. and stayed until late that evening.

I kept thanking God for all the things he was doing to heal Carl and get his body back to normal.

The diabetic educator came and showed us information about how many carbs he could have for each meal.

Sally, one of the nurses, brought Carl an orange (which he named HARVEY) to practice giving shots of a saline solution. It really helped having us to learn step by step, little by little instead of all at once 30 minutes before we left the hospital.

They took an MRI to make sure Carl’s slurred speech and weeblywobbly walking was from dehydration and the high blood sugar and not a stroke or other cause.

As I understand it:

Carl’s pancreas stopped making insulin or his body stopped being able to use the insulin his pancreas was making.

Then he got thirsty – he would drink and drink. However, there was no insulin to use the sugar to keep the water in the body, therefore he became dehydrated.  No matter how much water he drank, it could not be utilized by his body.

Also, in the blood cells, the sugar made the blood thick, very thick.The following link has a doctor explaining this phenomenom: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/DiabetesOverview/story?id=3843489&page=1, it shows how with all that sugar in the blood cells it’s like putting syrup in water. It’s thick syrup. The brain says, “I need more water to dilute the sugar in the blood.” However, when it gets it, it can’t be used and the only place to store it is in the kidneys which just gets it out of the body. This will leave the body dehydrated and the electrolytes will get out of balance.

I didn’t realize this is what happened with diabetes and why people got so thirsty and yet urinated it all away because the body couldn’t use it.

My advice to Carl and to others: It’s better to know than to worry, wonder, and be filled with fear.

Get the doctor’s opinions and tests. You can always disagree with them. You can always pray to change the situation in your body. You can use positive imaging and feelings to change what seems to be the fact at the present time.  Miracles happen every day.  Go to the doctors and find out.

Carl agreed that next time his body was doing weird stuff and he didn’t know what it was, that he would go to the doctor.

I just kept praying and thinking God will show me how to handle this situation.

God answered my prayers.

I’ll tell you something funny. When we got home from the hospital, I told Carl I was going to be his shadow until he got to walking in a steady manner on his feet.  When I had him to walk through each room of the house on Tuesday morning, I followed  a step and half behind him. He didn’t know I was behind him. He sensed someone was behind him. He said, “Gosh. You really did mean it when you said you were going to be my shadow, didn’t you?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then I told Carl, “I think you must have prayed to God, ’Dear Lord, Please make Joan and I closer.’ But you didn’t specify specifically what you meant.”

We laughed and laughed. By Tuesday night he was not weebly wobbling any more. He was walking straight so I didn’t follow him any more.  Carl was excited that he had graduated to being on his own with a little more freedom.

Calmness

Search for knowledge and meaning

Pray

Have faith that God will send people to help you when you need it.  As Flip Flap Floodle’s Grandma said, “Everyone needs a little help once in a while.”

Carl and I definitely needed help and we got it.

Thank you, Lord.

Congratulations Michele!  Book is on the way.  Did you get your Shadows yet?  If not, I’ll ship together!  Gotta figure out if I have shipped or not.

Enjoy!

Kristin Bair O’Keeffee, whose debut novel Thirsty was recently released, has written a wonderful essay about reading to her young daughter. Thirsty is a gritty story about tenacious women and their struggle to find what makes life bearable in the face of domestic abuse, hardship, and death in a Pennsylvania mill town during the late 1800s and early 1900s. The story transports you to its time and place so well you can almost feel the grit from the steel mill as it settles on your own skin. More information about Kristin and Thirsty follows her essay.

Mother/Daughter Reading…Before the Book Club

“In the great green ______,” I read and pause, waiting for Tully, my 22-month-old daughter, to fill in the word.

“Room,” she says.

“There is a ______,” I say.

“Telephone,” she fills in.

And then without waiting for me to read the next sentence, she blurts out, “Red balloon.”

Of course, Tully’s 22-month-old pronunciations aren’t always spot-on. Room sometimes sounds a little like whoom; balloon comes out ba-oon. But every day her tongue finds the right place against her teeth or the roof of her mouth a little more often and words become clearer.

When we get to the “three little bears sitting on chairs,” Tully picks up my index finger and taps it lightly to each of the three bears, in the same way I’ve tapped her finger to the bears for the past year or so since we started reading Margaret Wise Brown’s Goodnight Moon “One, two, three,” she says.

We continue on like this, filling in words and pointing out favorite objects (the mouse, the bunny, the cow jumping over the moon, and lately, the fireplace). As Tully acquires more vocabulary (at a crazily rapid pace), our nighttime readings grow longer and become more like conversations.

“What’s this?” I ask.

Tully looks at where my finger is pointing. “Hand,” she says.

“Close,” I say. “It’s a mitten.” And then I explain about mittens and hands and winter and cold weather.

Tully—with her steel-trap toddler brain fired up, even as she relaxes against me—listens intently. “Mitten,” she repeats, emphasizing the t sound. “Mitten, mitten, mitten.” And I know that she will remember this word forever. In fact, the next day she will insist that her beloved friends Baby, McGillicutty, and Dora all need mittens. “Cold,” she will tell me as she feels their hands.

I love these long, drawn-out minutes of our day with Tully snug in her pajamas, curled on my lap. The curtains are pulled. Tully has had her bath and bottle. Her teeth are brushed, and she’s given her dad a goodnight kiss. The only thing left is our nightly reading ritual. Sometimes she chooses Margaret Wise Brown’s Runaway Bunny. Sometimes Mem Fox’s Time for Bed. But more often than not, Goodnight Moon.

As we read, I think about all the fabulous books Tully and I have to look forward to: Fox in Sox, The Snowy Day, Amelia Bedelia, Ramona the Brave, Little House on the Prairie, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, and loads of newly published books that I don’t even know about yet.

“Goodnight comb,” I say. “Goodnight _____.”

“Brush,” Tully says, and she uses a pretend brush to brush her hair.

I also think about the day when we’ll be ready to start a book club with other moms and daughters, and as I do, more titles flood my head:

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

The Secret Garden

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Coraline

Someday. But right now….

“Goodnight noises everywhere,” I say.

“The end,” Tully whispers, sleepy and still in my arms.

“The end,” I repeat and I close the book.

Kristin Bair O’Keeffe is the author of Thirsty and an American who lives in Shanghai, China. She is also a happy mom, a voracious reader, an engaging teacher who believes in “telling the best story you can…believing in your writing…and working your arse off,” a fierce advocate for the end of domestic violence, and a writer who spends as much time as possible in writerhead. To find out more, visit www.thirstythenovel.com or Kristin’s blog at www.kristinbairokeeffeblog.com.

As the Thanksgiving weekend is coming to an end and reality is creeping in, I find it necessary to reflect on a great and bizarre night that happened last week. Arun, the UG nominated mayor of LA and his friends have become our favorite downtowners and people to have amazing adventures with. Last Saturday was no exception as the gang once again threw a great a night of stops. The last pub crawl they had was the legendary one on the Party Bus so the bar was set very high. Arun is one of the most efficient people I know and the stops and times for the event were as followed:

6:00 PM
Dinner at Clifton’s Cafeteria
NOTE: We’ll likely gather to eat on the 2nd floor.

7:15 PM
Ice Skating at Pershing Square
NOTE: Wear socks. And if you’re really not gonna get on the Blades of Steel, you could cross the street and get a drink at the Gallery Bar in the Biltmore.

8:45 PM
Redwood Bar
NOTE: Wear eyepatch.

10:30 PM
Kut From A Different Cloth Runway Fashion Show
Vibiana’s
NOTE: Please RVSP!!!

Bonus Round???
The Gorbals
NOTE: Some dude named Ilan from Top Chef’s place and it’s open until 2am. He describes his cooking as “old Jewish food date-raped by bacon.” Yum!

Now, if you are a female and reading this you are most likely terrified by one very important question: WTF do you wear? This became such a big question for me that I made a mess of my closet and was completely unsure. You want to be warm and casual for the cafeteria and skating but yet still fashionable for the fashion show. I dressed down as I was pretty sure I had no interest in the fashion show, plus I had a super busy week and my mellow Friday, the night before, turned in to me driving to the Sunset Strip for a boy. Let’s just say I didn’t get home until 3pm the following day. All of this clothing indecision made me miss the secret party for the lovely Dawson of Sauce LA. Oh well, two hours late for one party means perfectly on time for another.

I had heard of Clifton’s Cafeteria before but  I always imagined it like that cafeteria in NYC that is shown on Sex & the City; very stylish, colorful and hip. Clifton’s is many things but those words it is not. It is quirky, another world, and like nothing you would ever expect to see in LA. It is set up like a camp site with the cafeteria line on the bottom floor, dining on the first and second with the occasional raccoon or bear in sight, and the third floor has red velvet walls and is out of place as just about everyone that walks in. Who belongs in a place like this? No one and everyone. The decor is best for someone with a fly fishing vest but that isn’t seen in Downtown LA. Downtown LA is a melting pot as is this restaurant and it is truly beautiful. The food was reasonably priced but I, as an Uncouth Gourmand, have big problems in cafeteria lines or anywhere where I am responsible for serving myself. My eyes are bigger than my appetite and everything looks like trying. Good for my appetite but bad for my wallet. I ended up eating mushrooms, chicken soup, mac n cheese, 2 servings of enchiladas, and a custard pudding. You should see how much I can grab at a salad bar. Anyway, my bill totaled $13 with a drink. However, I am sure “normal” people can easily get out of there spending less than $10 on dinner.

The food wasn’t awful. I have had better and I have had worse at a variety of cafeterias, from hospitals to schools. One doesn’t go to Clifton’s for the food you go for the experience and what a trip it was. As we were leaving Clifton’s Josie showed up in time for ice skating. Rather than dressing down, my other half, dressed up to the nines. She was wearing a cute dress and some very expensive sparkly heels. The rest of the pub crawl group took one look at her and said, “Clearly you aren’t going skating”. She looked shocked as ice skating was her plan but seeing how she has never done it before and was in a nice dress it wasn’t the best idea. She refrained and was our photographer and bag watcher. The “rink” was as small as can be and the skates were pretty low quality but a fun time was had by all.

We were a little late for the Redwood Bar portion of the night because we didn’t want to crawl. We were so busy talking to our Dating Sensei that we got lost and instead of finding Josie’s car that we found mine instead. Then we couldn’t find parking and were too cheap to pay so we drove several extra miles to retrieve handicap tags from Sensei’s car so we could ensure princess parking. Yup, we are lazy girls! I then drove Josie and some fellow crawlers one block for the fashion show and I headed home. I was lame and exhausted. Josie had a good time at the show and got princess seat parking in the front row of the show….Baller! A great night with great friends that always expose us to great downtown places. A big thanks to Miss Veronica for a couple of the photos!

So I’m talking to Frenchy tonight and he says “I just want to be in the moment,” which is a beautiful way of saying “I want to jack off while I talk to you.” — Which is cool, and I tote. understand.  Really, believe me, I completely understand being horny and wanting to jizz.

He says he loves my laugh and my voice.  He tells me he loves the way I look and my glasses down low like a filthy librarian – I mean he got everything in there he could get LOL  To his credit, he was very smooth too.  It wasn’t pathetic (or I’d have told him so) and he wasn’t crass about it.

While I was talking to Frenchers, I got a text from a man I met at work a few weeks back – CowBoy.  CB said, “Can I ask u a ??” – I knew what he was saying before he said it as the text came in at a little after 9:00pm.  Trust me, when a man says “Can I ask u something” after dark, 99.9% of the time he wants some ass.  But I still said, “Ask away buddy.”  Notice how I threw buddy in?  Most of the time that puts guys off their game enough that they stop what they are doing – but CowBoy did no such thing.

He txt’d me back and said, “Do u ever get lonely & just want to hold someone of the opposite sex?”  Which earned a very loud “Fucking Douche” from me.  French thought I was talking to him so he asked what was going on.  I told him and I specifically said, “I’m just sick of guys thinking because I smiled at them, it means I want to fuck.  I’m tired of guys trying to fuck me.”  Granted, that’s not a good game plan when trying to impress a man, but at this point, my honesty button is stuck in the ON position.

French and I started talking about other things and I felt like fucking him.  I just got this flash of him… on me.  It was so real and brought such a smile to my face (just brought it to my face again) that I immediately said, “I’ve got to go.”  He tried to talk me into staying – which any man would do, there’s no problem there – but I told him how I really felt.  I said, “If you like me, then you’ll understand how I do things, and if you still like me after I say this, then maybe we’ll talk more and get to know each other – fucking will come in time, I’m sure.”

I told French the truth – that I’m tired of making men jizz and never hearing from them again.  He got really quiet and then he said, “Will you let me call you tomorrow?”

Interesting.

…………………………………..Up Next?  S.19~Why Don’t We Just Dance?

Thousands of feral camels are wreaking havoc in an Australian town as they search for water in a continuing drought…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: sea current. The blog is also related to: ocean surface.

Book: Thirsty

Author:  Tracey Bateman

Summary:

There’s no place like home, they say.
“Hello, I’m Nina Parker…and I’m an alcoholic.”
For Nina, it’s not the weighty admission but the first steps toward recovery that prove most difficult. She must face her ex-husband, Hunt, with little hope of making amends, and try to rebuild a relationship with her angry teenage daughter, Meagan. Hardest of all, she is forced to return to Abbey Hills, Missouri, the hometown she abruptly abandoned nearly two decades earlier–and her unexpected arrival in the sleepy Ozark town catches the attention of someone–or something–igniting a two-hundred-fifty-year-old desire that rages like a wildfire.

Unaware of the darkness stalking her, Nina is confronted with a series of events that threaten to unhinge her sobriety. Her daughter wants to spend time with the parents Nina left behind. A terrifying event that has haunted Nina for almost twenty years begins to surface. And an alluring neighbor initiates an unusual friendship with Nina, but is Markus truly a kindred spirit or a man guarding dangerous secrets?

As everything she loves hangs in the balance, will Nina’s feeble grasp on her demons be broken, leaving her powerless against the thirst? The battle between redemption and obsession unfold to its startling, unforgettable end.

Click here for more info: http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/catalog.php?isbn=9780307457158

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

So what happened with A.G.?  All I know is what follows:

So here i am the next day all excited about the prospect of liking someone who wants more than sex and I text him the next day and hear nothing. I text him the day after and hear nothing. The day after that I finally figure out I’m not going to hear from him.

Yeah, sometimes it takes me a while.  I talk with some girlfriends and tell them what’s going on – they all say to give him a chance.  He’s my type, blah blah blah, he’s attractive and I like him and they can tell – give him a chance.

So I silently give him his chance.  Two days later I get a text message from him that says “I’ve been really sick.”  That’s it.  I feel ignored and… useless.  I also feel like he was angry because we didn’t fuck but now he’s horny and is thinking about how great the kissing was – so I say “I hope you feel better.” and leave it alone.

A week and a few days pass by and yesterday I get a text that says “It’s been a crazy week.”  from a number without a name – turns out it’s his number and as I’ve deleted him from my phone (which rarely happens), I didn’t know it was him.  Slight discussion ensues and we begin chatting again.  He messages me again and I bluntly (though decidedly unwisely) say, “Are you txting me because you are horny?  Really.”

Yes, yes I know that’s not the coy way to play it – but I’m pretty much done with coy and “stupid girl” role right now.  I’m done fucking with these bullshit men who only want to know what it’s like to fuck me – and get butthurt when they realize they won’t ever know how it feels to be inside me.  I’m really done with it.

Not that I don’t want to get fucked – because I do.  I just want to get fucked by the same person repeatedly, for a lengthy amount of time equaling up to months and years.  I want to get fucked by a person who wants to do more than fuck me.  I don’t really believe that’s too much to ask.

So A.G. and I are talking and out of the blue he says “Will I get to see your hot bartender friend again if I come to your birthday party?”

Yeah.

Haven’t talked to me for weeks and the first night we actually chat for any length of time, you ask about a friend of mine.  That’s hot.

Next Up: O Rly? Ya Rly.

So about Asian guy. Apparently he is not that into me but is into me a little bit.  i don’t think I’ve talked about Asian guy yet. He’s one of the 5 guys i talked about in the first blog. Actually he was the catalyst for all of it. It wasn’t his fault, it’s my fault for giving him too much too soon. Too much attention, too many compliments, too much importance… just too much in general.

A.G. and I met and hung out last week.  We had a pretty great time that of course ended with me drunk and letting him do his thing… but I talked to him before he ever came here (we live an hour from each other) and said in no uncertain terms that we were not gonna have sex.

Apparently he doubted that.  We started kissing on my porch and he did this thing… Opened that pretty mouth of his really wide and put it over mine then stuck his tongue in and out of my mouth slowly…. Good gravy Marie it was beautiful lol i still think about that kiss. In fact I thought about it while I was with Beard – Almost said A.G.’s name during it. If u can’t tell by now, I very much wanted this guy. Who would think a guy u made jizz in his pants without even touching him wouldn’t want u just as badly? I mean… Im just saying.  So what happened?

To tell the truth, I honestly don’t know. That’s the most bullshit part of the whole thing.  I swear there’s more to come… Just not right now.-

-

-

-

Next Up:  S.14~Asian Guy Pt 2

I had been planning our epic Thursday since last week and even invited you all to join us in an earlier post. Things were right on schedule until Miss Josie stayed late at work and decided to call it an early night. The first thing on the schedule, which Josie was going to be unable to attend anyway because of work, was a Tweet-up with TheMinty and AKesq at Cole’s French Dip downtown. A.K. is a public defender with a feisty personality and a wicked sense of humor. Our intern, Young Jin, most notorious for his article on eating dog joined us and I am pretty sure that A.K. and her colleague were the best part of his night. They were telling him jokes all night and when he got in my car all he could say was that they were the two coolest lawyers he ever met and that he had no idea that lawyers were so funny. Since I am a foodie first, I was most impressed by not just my french dip but by the mac and cheese there. It was so good and it rivals my other favorites in the city: Cube LA, Magnolia on Lake, and one new place that I will be talking about in an upcoming post. I love the crunch factor on my mac n cheese and Cole’s delivered. They also have a slew of great bartenders and some specialty cocktails.

Young Jin and I had a tight schedule to adhere to and rushed to the Good Luck Bar’s 15th year anniversary party for what I called 10 minutes and 1 drink. We split a $2 beer and ran in to another blogger. I thought I spotted EstarLA from a far but I wasn’t sure and as soon as I told Young Jin that I might know that girl he took off and poked her on the shoulder. He asked if she was a food blogger, what a good intern he is. As soon as she turned I knew it was her and find it hilarious that we now have “people”. He even wrote down his email address intern@uncouthgourmands.com to share with all of his new friends.

The last time I was at roller disco there was quite a line so I was sure that we were there on time. The line this time wasn’t too bad. Enough for Young Jin to have a cigarette and we gave Josie 15 minutes to get in line with us. However, we heard nothing from the lady. It was fine. I had Young Jin and we were both a few drinks in. He told me he hadn’t skated since he was 12 but he bought wristbands and headbands to atleast look the part. I had my own skates and consider myself a roller disco queen. Young Jin rented skates and was amazed that he wasn’t falling, although he was skating like a robot. I kept instructing him to get low, stick his butt out, and move his arms, but he wasn’t having it. He thought that the best plan was to drink more and that would help him skate better. That seemed to be everyone’s plan. Let me just say that a lot of falls were had by not only Young Jin but by other intoxicated skaters. The end of the night became like dodging bullets on the floor. People and drinks were falling but I was laughing and having a great time. This has really become my favorite event in LA and I plan on attending every month.

I heard from my other half, Josie, when I was dropping Young Jin off at home and he had just pronounced quesadilla “kasa-dill-a” I was hysterical. Josie got to laugh with us on speaker phone but it wasn’t the same. Oh well, Young Jin was a great date for the night and filled in perfectly. On my drive home, Josie and I were still chatting and she asked if I was hungry. I told her I last ate at 6 and then she said, “Oh, well, then you must be starving”. That was all of the convincing I needed and I met her at the Ihop in Pasadena for a post midnight snack. She got a philly cheese steak sandwich and onion rings. I had the international passport with my favorite, swedish pancakes. We are constantly on a budget and once again we missed an affordable opportunity, their late night special that is $3.99. When will the UGs learn how to catch a deal?

Chuck always says to us, “Ladies, you have to lose in order to really appreciate the good.” This was one of those losing times for the UG girls. Here’s a recap of lunch at The Jonathan Club Beach and our entry for this year’s Tabletop Shootout.

It is without fail that every time we visit the JC Beach, Chef Benjamin always prepares a memorable meal for the UG girls. To throw a little surprise twist to the story, I met Chuck there on time. Anyone that knows me knows that on time for Josie usually means 15 minutes late, but this time I was early. Chuck summoned me in to the facilities and I got a private tour of the kitchen, which Chef Ben uses to experiment on us with new flavor combinations that never fail.

As always the meal started off with the JC’s famous zucchini muffins, bread, madeleines and, of course, fresh butter. From there we moved on to the first course which consisted of baby beets on top of heirloom tomatoes and two neat formation packets of coagulated yogurt and cranberry goat cheese served with a beet vinaigrette. The first course was light and airy. If any heaviness, whatsoever, could be identified it came from inherent qualities of the goat cheese and yogurt which delicately teetered on masterful. For the second course heaviness exploded, but only in that good way that can only be fully appreciated when you only have a few bites to savour and the fullness doesn’t leave you over satiated but rather, longing for more. We had a small piece of  veal osso bucco over polenta which was paired with a single wagyu beef ravioli over braised carrots. Beyond that, I, Josie did not get to try any of the desserts because this is where the plot was foiled. Apparently, our competition at our next stop, The Girari Tabletop Shootout, was not what we expected and our partner there said we would need more time than we anticipated. We were nervous! I left lunch early to assure our victory (maybe not so much victory). I heard that the girls at lunch: Dawson aka Miss SauceLA and Carina helped themselves to chai creme brulee and an assorted berry Bavarian cream florentine. The Jonathan Club Beach and Chef Benjamin delivered just like they have on our previous visits.

The Verdict:

Food: Thumbs-up

Service: Thumbs-up

Character: Thumbs-up

Ambiance: Thumbs-up

Uncertain of how to pull all of it together, I arrived panicked only to find out our team mate had already left because she was too embarrassed and didn’t want us to embarrass ourselves. We thought defeat without trying was more embarrassing, so we forged on. We decided to go ad hoc decorating and put together what you above. Constructed with less than $40, we used paper, paint, Taco Bell sporks, and recycled paper cups to build our display.  We aptly positioned it as an Andy Warhol inspiration and which we topped with what else, Campbell’s Soup and the new coke bottles. Much like Warol changed the way people saw art, we wanted to change the way people perceived the dining table experience. We wanted the people sitting at the table to be challenged and stimulated. We also find it necessary to mix high brow and low brow food and bring it to the masses.

The evening was great. We got to munch on snacks, drink fancy lattes, and mingle with some very talented party planners. Were the other designs better? The other designs were more traditional and showy and it was definitely apparent that we were by far the most “avant garde” competitor, but we were proud of our design because it fully encapsulated us as a young, modern, and uncouth brand. To some people the other pieces might’ve been better, but we were by no means, embarrased with anything we produced. If anything, we would’ve been embarrassed to produce something that didn’t fully represent us. This was us!

So I suppose it was one of those losing nights for these girls. We left the Luxe Hotel with a mix of emotions. We were happy, sad, disappointed, and proud all at once. Our lawyer once told us that we were the most persistent and relentless girls he’d ever met. With that said, the UG journey continues. That is, one meal at a time.

Fridays are rarely the right time for writing a blog post. So my housemate James Franklin and I (see his blog) have decided to set up a podcast from the pub instead.

Today we’ll be giving our take on the new EU presidency, the sell-off of the Big Chill festival and a Tory recommendation to relax media regulations (link not available). Today’s reference was the Guardian – though we promise it won’t be every week. Enjoy!

Get it here.

Josie and I both went to B school and are fascinated by branding and the study of strategic planning of corporations. We study mission statements and vision statements for days and prefer that to figuring out how we are going to make money, which may be responsible for why we have brought in $0 dollars. Anyway, not the point, one company that has always particularly intrigued us was Coca-Cola and their mission statement is the absolute best we have ever seen.

To refresh the world…

To inspire moments of optimism and happiness…

To create value and make a difference.

Josie and I attended a party at Hotel Erwin introducing Coke’s new aluminum bottles. The benefits of these new bottles is that they are resealable, unbreakable, stay colder longer, environmental and, more importantly, they look super cool. In fact, in an upcoming post you can see we that we used them to make a Warhol inspired table for a tabletop decorating contest last night. It was a great evening and one that pushed the bounds of what we thought we already knew and experienced. We were fortunate enough to have already been sent the bottles a few months ago, but the drinks served that night included a UGs favorite, alcohol. Josie is a classic Coca-Cola so she got her drink with rum, grenadine, and sugar. I, Carina, am a Diet Coke head and my coke cocktail had vodka and lemonade. We spent the night on the roof, talking to other bloggers, drinking coke cocktails that they mixed and put back in the aluminum bottles and eating yummy food. Another way the evening pushed the bounds of what I already thought I knew is that I am from the Bay Area and am very familiar with the Joie de Vivre hotels but this was my first time in the Hotel Erwin and I loved the space. In the same way that the alcohol added a little extra to the coke, Venice Beach offered something a little extra to the Joie de Vivre hotel experience.

They were serving meatballs with a Coca-Cola bbq sauce and mini corndogs with a Coca-Cola ketchup. Both were awesome, but leave it to us to be completely uncouth. Right after arriving we ran into are blogger friend Christina of Hot Pink Manolos and as I grabbed tuna tartare on a wonton, Josie was talking, hit my arm, and all of my tuna and guac fell to the ground. Uncouth! I am pretty sure Christina expects these types of shenanigans from us because she just laughs and says, “The UG girls have arrived” and tweets the story for all to see.

It was a great night and we want to thank Hotel Erwin, Formula PR -Kat, in particular, Coca-Cola LA, and this one lady who works at High lounge on the rooftop of the hotel and let Josie and I take more than our fair share of food. She came straight to us and when we politely (unbelievable, I know) only took one dog, ball, or crostini she always let us know that it was ok to take as many as we wanted. We were getting three balls and dogs at a time and were very grateful! Way to go, Coke! You accomplished your mission: we were refreshed, optimistic, happy and were touched by the experience!

***By the way, watch out for when the UG Girls take on Coke Vs. Diet Coke coming to a UG YouTube channel near you…think: Mac vs. PC

This week, I’m mixing it up a bit and reviewing 2 books.  Random House/Multonomah & Random House/Waterbrook sent me two review copies, both about vampires.  I’m intrigued that Christian fiction is getting on the vampire bandwagon.  It’s about time, if you ask me, since the original vampire novel had strong Christian themes (I’m talking about Dracula, of course, which I reviewed here). 

And, as usual, Christian publishing is about three years behind schedule.  An editor at a Christian publishing house (which will go unnamed here), once told me that dirty little secret, and ever since, I’ve noticed that with all major publishing trends in the mainstream, it takes about three years for Christian Fiction to catch up.  Not good enough, folks.  We should be the trend setters…not the other way around. 

One of these books is fiction and one is nonfiction.  As you can probably expect, the fiction one isn’t the strongest of the two.  When it comes to Christian publishing, the nonfiction far surpasses the fiction, and the same is true here.

I actually really liked Touched by a Vampire and highly suggest it for anyone who has read the Twilight saga or is watching the movie.  There are a lot of spoilers for the last two books, though.  So, if you haven’t read all of them yet, and are planning to, I’d suggest finishing the books first.

 Beth Felker Jones has unpacked several main themes in the series and examined them from a Christian perspective.  And it’s very well thought out and backed up with scripture.  But I think my favorite aspect is that she recognizes the role that Stephanie Myers’ Mormonism played in crafting the series, and she calls out some of the ways that it differs from Christ centered thinking. 

The downside of the book is that Jones doesn’t find a lot of redemptive material in the series, which leaves her sounding completely against the books, which I think is unfair.  She gives them the occasional brownie point, but for the most part, it’s a long dissection of all the ways the stories fail.  I’d like to see a little more redemptive work here, on how the book can point people to Jesus, as I believe all fiction that touches on any truth can do. These books are resounding with people for a reason, and when there are so many needs being met by these books, it means there are connections to Jesus.

There are study questions in the back, and the chapters are short and manageable.  I’d suggest reading this book with your teenage daughter, who is obsessed with the series like many other girls her age.  The strong focus of the book is on how the series portrays love, and it’s an especially important topic for young women learning how to date and what real love looks like.

To learn more about the book from the publisher’s website, click here.

Now, I’ll transition to the fiction book from Waterbrook, called Thirsty.  Tracey Bateman has creatively linked two concepts of thirst, one of an alcoholic for a drink and another is the vampire and the thirst for blood.  And she combines both types of people in this story, which comes out a little uneven because the tones of the stories did’t match too well.  I felt like there were two books going on here, and they didn’t speak to each other as well as they were supposed to.  There could be a lot to say about overcoming sin, even if it’s a seemingly overwhelming urge and part of your nature, but sadly, the book didn’t address it much. In fact, if we were to glean a message about how to overcome sin from the book, it would have more to do with white knuckling it than Christ’s help. 

 Nina Parker is an alcoholic, torn from her family by her addiction and forced to move in with her sister in her former hometown, once she leaves rehab.  Nina’s teenage daughter joins her in the small town, just as several local murders are popping up.  Shortly after her arrival in town, we meet a dark character who lives next door, who is very obviously a vampire, obsessed with Nina.  So, Nina can’t stop thinking about alcohol, and he can’t stop thinking about her and her blood.

At least Myers explained the vampire lore, why they behaved the way they did, but Bateman picks and chooses her own vampire traits and doesn’t explain why her vampires are acting in certain ways.  They just are.  She does explain that the vampires inherit their vampirism, which is something I’d never heard of before.  And it feels even more separated from the long tradition of romantic vampire fiction because of these differences.

If you want to lure in people who typically read vampire fiction with a bit more redemptive version of the story, at least do your homework and make a nod towards the tradition they respect.  Even if it’s just Twilight!

But, if you’re dead set against your kids reading Twilight, this might be a better option for them, since the Vampire life isn’t glorified, and love looks a lot less destructive. 

I didn’t come away from this book with any deep revelations or insight into sinful desire and the ways to defeat it.  But it was a fast read, one sitting’s worth.  If you’re willing to put your brain on auto pilot and rush through a small town mystery, there are worse books to choose.

I applaud Bateman for stepping up and addressing this huge trend in fiction.  I just think it’s too little, too late.

If you’d like to learn more about Thirsty from the publisher’s website, click here.

If left to my own devices, this is what my kitchen would look like …

So – are you wondering how you could write a Christian novel with a Biblical worldview? Yeah, me too….

When Waterbrook offered to send me a copy of Thirsty by Tracey Bateman so that I could read and review it, I agreed out of curiosity. How could you possibly mix the topics of vampires and faith while still attempting to keep reality in the picture?

Well, my props to Tracey Bateman!

Overview: Nina Parker returns to her old hometown in the Ozark hills of Missouri. As a recovering alcoholic, estranged from her daughter and filled with angst over past mistakes, she is seeking to start life again – this time sober. Little does she know, a 250-something year old vampire is living in the town.

Let the reader beware – there is a good deal of blood, gore and occult influences woven throughout this book. It’s not for the squeamish nor should it be perceived as a “everything comes out perfect” novel.

Those things said, I actually found the book rather intriguing. I don’t think I’ll start checking out other vampire books, but this presented a balance of fantasy with a solid Christian faith perspective. If vampire books are your thing or you like those types of programs, I would suggest you try this book. The characters have an honest, simple faith and I think you will enjoy it.

Find the book at www.lrmbooks.com!

Yours in Christ,

Marty

Thursday may prove to be one of the biggest and craziest days for us, UG Girls. We are hittin’ up a Tweet Up Happy Hour at an undisclosed location and then the 15th Anniversary party of Good Luck Bar! We can definitely use some good luck and these drink prices are a major score:

celebrating its 15th YEAR with

a special anniversary event

Thursday November 19

Starting at 7:00 PM

$5 STOLICHNAYA, $5 CAZADORES,

$5 SAILOR JERRY,

$5 JACK DANIEL’S COCKTAILS

a visit from the KOGI TRUCK select BEERS for $2

DJ TRAVIS KELLER (Buddyhead.com)

CHINESE BURLESQUE DANCERS

1514 HILLHURST AVE

HOLLYWOOD CA 90027

323.666.3524

After all of this fun we are heading to a Roller Disco at the Echoplex. I went several months ago and had a blast. I am an expert on quads and own an awesome pair of white skates with purple shoelaces. Josie told me that she has never really skated so she will be the tipsy girl that falls on you. Let me just say that ALCOHOL + SKATES = BRUISES & GREAT FUN. If you want to get in for only $5 RSVP here and look east my wayward son. Here are some pictures from my last time at the Down & Derby Roller Disco. FYI: There will be a line so get there early. If you see us in line and you are ahead of us…please let us cut! Skate on, Uncouthies!

(Transcribed 11.15)

So I don’t have a lot of friends – like I said before.  I don’t have many at all, which is okay for me.  I know it sounds totally lamez, but I’m pretty fulfilled.

Oddly enough, in contrast with all my one night stands and cock gobbling, I go to church all the time.  I love going to church.  Maybe this is God’s way of helping me to fix what He wants me to fix in my life, iono.  I go all the time though, I volunteer a lot, and I work a lot.  I worked 72 hours this week I think.

I don’t have an empty life, but the friends that I do have are just as thirsty as I am.  Moreso, maybe.

For example, my bff of 7 years has two children – my godson and her daughter.  Both are by two different men who she met on one night stands – and that’s because she’s thirsty.  I can’t tell her that, but I’ll say it now.

So I feel like when I’m around my friends who are thirsty, I don’t get a lot of attention.  One thing about thirsty people is they want attention from anyone, so that means your conversations go a little bit like:

Me: Hey girl what are you up to?
Friend: Girl I”m….

and 20 minutes later I haven’t said a word and I’m still listening to… whatever it is they’re talking about.  I’m unimportant to them unless they want someone to listen to them – and then I’m the greatest person in the world.  I feel like they don’t care at all.  My friends will interrupt and talk over people – not even listening to you for a minute.  Seriously, the only people I know who actually listen when I talk are my parents.

Which makes me feel hella lame.

Being thirsty has taken up my entire existence – this search for one person who will just say “Anastasia, you’re okay.”

I’m not looking for sex, honestly.  I’m not looking for another penis to gag on, or passing out in vomit.  I’m not really looking for waking up and stepping in the vomit on my floor because I tried to get out of the bed when it happened.  I’m not looking for “You dirty worthless whore, I’m gonna stick my penis inside you or choke you until you scream.”

Maybe some people do want that, but I don’t.  I just want to be okay.  I’d like for people to acknowledge that I’m okay, but I’d like, more than that, to acknowledge it in myself.

I’m tired of being that person who someone always wants something from.  Whether it’s sex or money or me sitting on the phone for 30 minutes listening to someone jib and jabber on about nothing – someone always wants something from me.  I just want to be wanted for more than what I have… for what I am.

My friends…. sweet Jesus on the throne…. my friends.

Recently I’ve been trying to get better at taken candid photos and getting that “captured in the moment” vibe. Today’s photo was one of the  first photos I’ve taken that was not staged that I’m still happy with. I took it at lunch today while my friend Will was sipping on his powerade. For some reason, his face reminds me of a malnourished monkey.

About This Book

There’s no place like home, they say.

“Hello, I’m Nina Parker…and I’m an alcoholic.”

For Nina, it’s not the weighty admission but the first steps toward recovery that prove most difficult. She must face her ex-husband, Hunt, with little hope of making amends, and try to rebuild a relationship with her angry teenage daughter, Meagan. Hardest of all, she is forced to return to Abbey Hills, Missouri, the hometown she abruptly abandoned nearly two decades earlier–and her unexpected arrival in the sleepy Ozark town catches the attention of someone–or something–igniting a two-hundred-fifty-year-old desire that rages like a wildfire.

Unaware of the darkness stalking her, Nina is confronted with a series of events that threaten to unhinge her sobriety. Her daughter wants to spend time with the parents Nina left behind. A terrifying event that has haunted Nina for almost twenty years begins to surface. And an alluring neighbor initiates an unusual friendship with Nina, but is Markus truly a kindred spirit or a man guarding dangerous secrets?

As everything she loves hangs in the balance, will Nina’s feeble grasp on her demons be broken, leaving her powerless against the thirst? The battle between redemption and obsession unfold to its startling, unforgettable end.

An excerpt may be found over at WaterBrookMultnomah.

About the Author

With close to one million books in print, Tracey Bateman is the award-winning author of more than thirty titles. Fan favorites include the popular kansas Home historial series: Color of the Soul, a tale of race and prejudice; and her many intriguing Heartsong Presents romantic novels. Tracey resides in Missouri with her husband and four children.

My Review

I’ll admit, I’m new to the whole vampire genre, especially in the Christian fiction field. As for the book as a whole, I thought it okay. There is something about reading a book with characters like Nina, and her daughter Meg, that make it very difficult for me to continue reading it. I have to understand that an author seeks to pack a lot of information and life into a very short period of time, so when characters like these two make really foolish decisions, flat out stupid decisions, there are probably extenuating circumstances shaping those decisions that I’m just not getting. Right? Maybe that’s the sign of a good writer’s ability to draw the reader into the characters themselves, but I’ll admit these two drove me crazy with the uncanny ability to time and time again make decisions without engaging their brains at all. I realize people in real life do this… but this many times in this short a span of time (the time span of the book covers a period of a couple weeks, along with flashbacks)? So, while frustrating to this man/husband/father/pastor to read, it was still pretty good.

Bateman, in introducing vampirism as a biologically inherited trait treads a little dangerously since she is clearly making this a parallel with the main character’s addiction to alcohol. To be fair, however, using flashbacks of Nina’s life growing up, the reader can see that her addiction came largely from really bad choices. True, these choices were influenced in a major way by her alcoholic father, but using parallelism with Markus’ addiction as a vampire “who was born that way” and his struggle to control his urges makes it seem as if there will always be that excuse “I can’t help it; I was born this way” rather than “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

I will comment on one further topic that is, at the moment, left unanswered – by me and a host of others, I’m told by another author I know. What makes a Christian novel Christian? Is it simply because it’s written by a Christian author and published by a Christian publishing house (even if that publisher is owned by a large, secular publishing firm)? Or, does it receive that moniker due to Jesus’ name being mentioned a few times, along with vague references to the crucifixion with no ties to how that affects anyone’s life? Or does a Christian fiction book need to speak to how sinful man’s broken relationship with God can only be dealt with through trusting Jesus Christ alone because God’s grace alone works through the Scriptures to bring that sinful character to a point of redemption? (Read a few of my posts from the archives and I think you’ll get to the answer I would provide without much hesitation.) Obviously, Thirsty falls into the very first two categories raised by my questions. While setting forth an intriguing notion regarding vampirism, I could not honestly call this a Christian novel; a novel, yes; a decent one at that, but not Christian in the sense in which I’ve described it. I’ve just finished reading a book by Francine Rivers (The Shofar Blew) and the gospel of grace was woven throughout this fictional work in a very welcome manner.

Can I recommend Thirsty? Only if one brings a good bit of discernment to the table with it. I’m wondering if this genre in the Christian book publishing field would have even been on the radar were it not for the incredibly popular Twilight Saga?

If you do wish to see more or purchase this book, you may do so at WaterBrookMultnomah or RandomHouse.

This book was provided free of charge and for review purposes only by WaterBrookMulnomah Publishing

Before the long holiday weekend a friend on Twitter recommended we try out a new Pasadena bar. The UGs are suckers for a cold pint and seeing anything new in the neighborhood, so we happily obliged. This pub had an added bonus with a somewhat hidden location, who doesn’t like that?  T Boyle’s Tavern is in Pasadena and hidden in the alley behind the Ice House Comedy Club or slightly more accessible through Catalina Ave. We like the more hidden route and walked in off Mentor. The bar itself had hardly a free stool but you immediately notice that this is a very large space. The brick interior and stage reminded me of Old Towne Pub, one of our favorites also conviently hidden down an alley way. The main difference is that this place was much larger and equipped with 2 stories, 2 pool tables, 2 shuffle boards, Golden Tee, a Juke Box, many TVs, a moose head, and serves some grub.

Every table gets a thing of peanuts and, as you all know, if you put food in front of the UGs they will be happy and eat it. We made a mess out of the table in a matter of seconds. Josie also ended up getting 2 $1 hot dogs and was impressed saying that they aren’t even that cheap on the street. Were they great? Well hell, they were just a buck. Now on to what you all care about…the beer. There are 16 select beers on tap and more than 50 bottled beers. All of the beer is reasonable priced at $4.75 for a pint and between $3-$3.75 for bottled beer. Josie and I without knowing what the other ordered both got the Great White.

In typical UG fashion, our favorite part of the experience was being able to talk to the owner, Mr. T Boyle himself, Troy and hear about his vision. He was bringing the space back to the time when he was bartending there and it was Toe’s Tavern. He has a large stage and is working on his entertainment license so he can bring bands in to the bar on a regular basis. Josie and I both went to B School and found it necessary to tell him a list of ideas: from trivia nights to a full kitchen to PCC recruiting. He listened thoughtfully and then said, “Slow down ladies, we’ve only been open since Halloween.” That is Josie and my problem, we can’t slow down, every day we add to our business plan and brand umbrella but never take the time to think about making a buck. Once again, I digress, getting focused is our goal for the week. Anyway, Troy loves the space and loves beer and I am sure he is going to do great things with it. I was happy to find this interview with him in the Pasadena Weekly on the night that Crown City Brewery closed:

At CC’s bar, I asked regular customer Troy Boyle, a Sierra Madre resident, if he would frequent a wine bar. “Are you kidding?” Boyle replied. “A blue-collar guy like me in a wine bar? Somebody asks me if I want to do pinot noir, I’d say ‘What the hell does that mean?’”

I find it charming that Noir Food & Wine, a wine bar specializing in Pinot Noir, opened up recently in the exact neighborhood as T. Boyle. For girls like us, Uncouth Gourmands, I had just as much fun going to the Noir opening as I did walking in to T. Boyle’s for a cold pint. Anyway, it is a great addition to the neighborhood and we are glad to have it!