Swine flu, flu that originated from swine and then mutated and was passed from pigs to humans, was the biggest, craziest, single most ridiculous threat to this country this year.   How many people _actually_ died from Swine Flu alone, not those who had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or who were vulnerable and over 70 or under 5 and could well have been a victim of any flu? The actual number is unknown but those recorded as dying from swine flu is 9,797 worldwide, there may be others who died but were unrecorded.  But even if this recorded number was wrong and there were 100%, 200%, even 1000%  more cases of mortality, this is very low proportionally to anything else remotely dangerous, yet madness ensued en mass.  Every Public Health team in the Country was instructed to carry out endless commands by an even more over-worked Department of Health.  For a solid 6 months public sector central government sheep apparently looked at the ‘evidence’ (one would hope, at least), and then told NHS staff (thousands of them) to ‘prepare’.  Day in, day out, plans changed from having Swine Flu centres in schools, to having Swine Flu friends who’d do all the frontline work, to just letting the GPs deal with it (because, lets face it, they deal with everything – or at least are supposed to).   This amount of planning surely cannot have ever been seen to prevent deaths from alcohol or cigarettes, and they kill far more people a year than any flu, as do many other diseases.  So why did it all go ahead?  Your guess is as good as mine, or most of the Doctors, Consultants, Nurses, Bankers, School Teachers, and Policemen I’ve spoken to.

One has to look back, didn’t this happen before, where nothing actually ever happened?  Yes, with Bird Flu not that long ago.  All the media reported mass deaths and most of Asia started wearing face masks (which, coincidently do not actually work to prevent infection), but nothing really kicked off.  Can anyone see a trend here?  Do we all think that mutations and transference from animals to humans is some kind of potent indiscriminate killer?  I don’t think do.  Part of history proves that they just kind of flitter away, apart from maybe the Spanish Flu (Pandemic epidemic) that killed between 5-20 Million people although I’m not sure where they got those figures from.  However, this was back in 1918, and we can all imagine how different lifestyle and hygiene was back then, certainly infection control measures are paramount now in anything we do to prevent the spread of viruses and disease.  It’s not that, however, that makes me think that Sine Flu, H1N1 didn’t spread and kill off 10% of the whole worlds population.  I think that they just got it wrong, and the question is, how is that so many people did get it wrong?

It’s been a bad week for Microsoft – first the BSOD v2, and now this: their flagship search engine is lying dead on the floor of reputation.

It is reported that the main servers were down for an hour today. Ironically, Google was being talked to on the telly about the rivalry it posed. However, this ain’t Google sabotage – their motto and number 1 rule is for their staff not to be evil.

All we can ask is, “Why do people use Google?”

The answer has been shown today.

It really helps for a business to keep running. When there is an issue like this, advertisers on such free services as searching the net won’t pay for the ad space. And then MS won’t be able to advertise is Mac copycats because everyone will have lost interest in them.

Sorry.

I’ve been all over the place for the last couple of weeks.  I think that my exciting half-term compleatly wore me out and to pay for it I had to endure a week-long miserable mood for the first week of November.

I’ve now broken out of it and fallen into my usual happy self I’ve kick started the old blog again and I’m about to give myself a headache of a writing project!

As well as all this Semper Station returns in just under 2 weeks, so now I begin again the panicked running around trying to recruit actors and writers who feel that they can make the night a success.  If anyone reading this feels they have what it takes to participate in Sutton Coldfield’s newest theatre night then have a mosey on over to www.sempergroup.wordpress.com for more information.

Other than that, there’s precious little to report!  I’m just about to potter over to the other blog and update that, so fingers crossed!

For now, here’s the first picture that came up when I put Station theatre wicked fun into a Google

Its Brian Ray! Obviously

Loves

Phil

So here we go again, with the last three days of my fun week.  Admitedly there are some less than exciting days hidden amongst it, but I’ve tried to write it in an exciting way.

Day 4

So the fourth day started in a different way to the others.  For a start, I woke up in my own bed (enough shouts of wooooo, I was staying at Frankies – don’t any of you read the previous entries?).   When Emma and I woke up we noticed that our fish Slash was floating upside down.  He was still breathing though so we went to Pets at Home for help.  Unfortuately the conversation went something like this.

“We have an ill fish.”  Said Emma.

Nice rabbit, crap with fish

“We need a water sample.”  Said the woman.

“But all the other fish are fine.”  Emma argued.

“We need a water sample.”  Said the woman.

“But surely if the other fish would be ill if it was the water.”  I reasoned.

“We need a water sample.  Or else we’d be guessing.”  The robot replied.

So (after a bit of tesco related food shopping) Emma went back to Pets at home with a small water sample.

“Well this water doesn’t tell us anything.”  Said the woman.

“Didn’t think it would.”  Muttered Emma.

“Well it could be a lot of things, but if I was to guess, I’d say your fish sounds constipated (!?!)”

So five pounds later Emma emerged with the knowledge that if we changed the water and fed them some of these bloodworm things and added this stuff to the water Slash might be alright.  And so for the rest of the day we watched and waited for a miracle to happen.  Would Slash, a fish with an incredibly cool name and look, pull through?

No.  I put it in the bin.

Day 5

Again, given the tradegy that occured the day before I was understandably mournful when Emma got up to go to work and left me in bed with absolutely no plans and (as it was payday) lots of money to spend.  What would I do?  I wondered?  How would I cope with not having any plans and a pocketful of money?

Taking a leaf out of Emma’s book I did the first thing that I thought of and went shopping!  Yay!  Although I didn’t really buy anything of note, and the only free stuff I got was a canvas bag with something about working abroad on it.

Notice how I've left bits around the edge to give an impression of incompetence

And some mints that looked a lot like ecstacy tablets – not that I’d know what those particular tablets look like as that is extremely illegal and even if someone had offered one to me in a club in Leicester once I’d politely decline and tell them (somewhat hilarilously) that I didn’t have a headache but thank them for their concern because, yes, the music is very loud in here and why have you fallen to the floor and everyone is getting an ambulance for you I don’t hink those headache tablets did what they were meant to did they?  Did they?  Hello? – But I digress.

One thing I did buy of note (although my mind can’t really recall whether it was Day 5 or 4 that I bought them) was some paints and some little canvas.  I proceeded for the rest of the day to have a play with paints just like I did when I was at school and eventually came up with the painting you’vre probably already discounted as a joke.  I really like the juxtapostion of the colours when compared to each other within the layout of the shapes concerned on the wall…  whatever.  If anyone wants to buy the painting that looks like it’s been done by a eight year old girl with severe learning disabilites let me know and I’ll charge you £150 for it.

It does look pretty though.

Day 6

By far the most exciting day so far, on Thursday I actually got to meet Bob Fossil!  You know, the man from the Mighty Boosh whose real name is Rich Fulcher (Hi Rich, thanks for checking out the blog).  He entered the room in a bookshop in Birmingham to rapturous applause which was a little early and finished before he arrived and read a little from his book (which I’d bought two copies of for myself and Emma).

His book is all about small acts of rebellion so when he asked if there were any questions I decided to rebel by not asking him any.  Luckily, a small child had more balls than me and asked – in this order – “Can you do a song about fish?”  And “Do you ever crap in your house?”

The song about fish went something like this (you have to read it out in an American accent to fully appreciate it)

Me with a celebrity who's ruining the moment by pulling a funny face

I’m a little fish,

I’m a little fish,

Here I go underwater,

Bubble blob blubble bubble.

(I did say apprecaite.  Losers.)  And the answer to the other question?  He does.  Sometimes two or three.  I’m sure that three implies some kind of digestional problem but who am I to argue with or diagnose celebrities?  No ONE!  That’s who.  So I won’t.  Where was I?  Oh right, gossip.  The question came up about whether there will be another series of MB (think about it) soon.  Rich (I can call you Rich can’t I?  Thanks) mentioned that whilst there is some stuff in place for the next series the current feeling around the MB camp (giggle) was that a movie would be the best move.

S

P

A

C

E

I lef t some space there to let it sink in.  What a sexy feeling that gives you.  Well whatever you’re feeling is nothing compared to the sexy feeling that I got when I met him and talked to him and he allowed me to have a photo taken with him.  And that was my excitement for Thursday.

(Oh and I scored 2 goals in the regular football game on the night, but mentioning that would just be boasting)

Phil

I know day one was a long time ago (Saturday actually) but I’ve just been soooo busy that this is the first time I’ve had chance to actually sit down and write anything.  So as I sit here on my couch on day four (and I’m not even going to tell you what today’s plan is yet) and I actually get time to breathe and re-cap the past three days of fun and excellentness.

Day One

So Saturday started out like any other day.  I lay in bed with something that felt a little bit like a hangover but wasn’t quite and Emma hustled and bustled around like an irritated badger (NOTE: come up with a cuter animal).  Emma wandered off to the YMCA to do her volunteer work and I managed to get to my mother’s house in an attempt to watch the Villa game.  Villa, as usual, missed out on a good chance to push up the table and before too long I was in the car again flying down the motorway (with Emma driving) towards Exeter.

So you’re thinking that that’s it aren’t you?  That the exciting thing on day one was going to Exeter to visit our good friend Frankie.  Well you are right, but you are sooo wrong!  On the way down I got a text from said friend, who wondered whether we would like to go to a Hip hop night.  Those of you who know me well will know that this isn’t really my scene, but in the spirit of the week I went along anyway.

Me and Akil after the gig. Despite my expression I was impressed

Wow!  I had a great time!  The hip-hop night turned out to be Akil from Jurrasic 5 MCing.  Not sure who that is?  Well feast your eyes on the picture of me and him or have a look at the wikipedia page.   The night was really good and Phil’s Exciting Half-Term got off to a suprising and awesome start.  I couldn’t wait for Day two, but had no idea what exciting thing to do!

Day Two

Day two hit me like a sack of well ripened potatoes.  I wasn’t sure whether it was the extra hour in bed or the fact that I was still over-excited from last night, but I was a little happier than I usually am on a Sunday morning.  I jumped out of bed and almost tripped over a hamster, before getting dressed and (eventually) leaving the house with Emma and Frankie.

We went for a ‘lovely’ meal at the local Harvester and had a good look around the Exeter Quay and the city itself.  It is nice to get out of Birmingham every now and again, especially when your new surroundings are as impressive as Exeter.  Lovely cathedrel and lovely sunshine everywhere.  It was whilst looking around the city that I heard of Oxjam.  Did you hear about Oxjam?  Its for Oxfam, a lovely little music thing that had events going on around the city (and indeed the country).

I looked like an extra from braveheart all afternoon

Quite by accident we ended up with blue faces (part of an online petition against climate change, click here for info) and dancing around to a jazz musicians.  After a quick trip back to Frankie’s Emma and I ventured out again and saw a Beatles tribute act and some crazt 80’s electro-pop thing called Marble Fairy who Emma really liked and I marginally enjoyed.  All in all, a great day and I had brought my live music quota up to 4 bands in 2 days.  Awesomeness!!!

Day Three

You’d have thought that by now I’d be ready for bed and wouldn’t want to do anything else even mildly exciting.  Well you’d be wrong!  As had been planned for almost six months (since we last drove past the sign in fact) we went to see the magnificent Cheddar Gorge.  The last time I’d been there was probably when I was about 10, so I was unashamably excited to see it again.

When we go there I was unashamably annoyed at having to pay sixteen pounds each for entry!  Definately a low point, but we had travelled for a long time (an hour) to get there and it was something that definately had to be done!  Life is too short and payday is too close!

We got on a bus and saw some quite incredible goats – and I’m aware that seems like an oxymoron, but bear with me – that were climbing all over the sides of the gorge, then dived into the caves to listen to a rather annoying Somerset accent talk about nineteenth century cave exploration.  It was fun.

Pondering the meaning of life in a flint age hut

By far the best bit for myself was the fantastically un-PC (there was a warning sign) museum of pre-history.  With a huge spinning skull and lovely descriptions of cannabalism the building was a scientific triumph!  The only mention of God (and this suprised me given the amount of American visitors the place must get) was in a board that likened the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross to the human sacrifices practiced in pre-history!  I’m sure some people would be offended by that, but I found it fascinating!

Forever forwards!

So now I’m back in Birmingham and planning my fourth day of fun.  I’ll try and update this tomorrow with lots of more information for you lovely people!

Exciting isn’t it?

Phil

So I was sitting in the pub today (I know, alcoholic etc etc) and decided that this half term I will do something fun each day and post the evidence of it on my blog.  Partly to amuse myself, and partly to amuse YOU!  Yes, YOU!  And maybe the person reading over your shoulder.

As today (and I’m counting today as Friday) doesn’t really count as part of half term you might think that I wouldn’t bother doing anything exciting today.  You’re wrong!  Although I have no pictoral evidence at the moment, you’ll be pleased to know that to start of my exciting week I sang a little bit of ‘The House of the Rising Sun’ in a bar in Birmingham where nobody knows me and knowbody cares.

Interestingly Emma was not the only one cheering, although the kaeroke man was a litte annoyed that I was holding the microphone the wrong way.

As I said, no pictures of this event, but stay tuned for more exciting adventures throughout the week!

Loves,

Phil

Regular viewers of the Monday night shenanigans at Collingwood’s town hall may recall a decision council made a couple of weeks ago with regard to meeting dates.

They decided not to hold meetings on the Tuesday of a holiday Monday weekend, moving those meetings instead to fifth Monday of the month (traditionally, Collingwood council would not meet on a fifth Monday).

The thing is, if council meets on a Tuesday, that meeting wouldn’t be broadcast on Rogers TV; Rogers only schedules a broadcast of council for Monday nights, and that was the main reason for dropping the Tuesday meetings in favour of only meeting on Mondays. Councillors, it seems, didn’t want to miss the face time on the camera.

Now, most people who’ve discussed this with me find that reasoning — given we’re a year away from the municipal election — incredibly self-serving. But here’s where it gets humorous…

This term, council has taken to meeting in camera in the middle of a council meeting; basically, as soon as the bylaw to go behind closed doors has been approved, off the nine of them go, leaving us media types, anyone in the audience, and any staff not required behind those doors cooling our heels. It could be for 10 minutes, or it could — as it was this week — for more than an hour (two weeks ago, it was almost two hours). Unfortunately, one can never tell — aside from those heading into the in camera meeting and having knowledge of the agenda and issues being dealt with — and no one has thought to make a motion to say “we’ll reconvene at such-and-such a time” so at least some of us know whether we need to stick around, or we have the time to head home and have a bite of dinner (on Mondays I usually start my day around 7 or 7:30 a.m.; on Monday, The Peak’s Dale West had been covering John Nichols’s morning shift, and had started at 4:30 a.m.).

But that’s a side issue to this topic.

The thing is, depending on how long council meets behind closed doors, eventually Rogers’ master control out of Toronto determines it’s time to wrap up the show — meaning the public only get to watch part of the council meeting. On Monday, it meant the public watched councillors painfully explore the minutia of Cranberry’s liquor license application for the Bear Estate (complete with insinuations about the perceived actions of Cranberry management which I found rather tactless) for nearly 50 minutes before completely being unable to reach a decision.

It also meant the public didn’t get a chance to see the ongoing discussion about the proposed comprehensive zoning bylaw, which I found far more productive, because Rogers turned off the cameras because they couldn’t wait any longer for council to return from the in camera session.

So, in essence, council ended up sabotaging itself, because on camera they showed themselves to be pedantic micro-managers, rather than the leaders and policymakers they were after the cameras were turned off…

I have a confession to make.  I spend way too much time on my computer. Shocking, I know. But it wasn’t until yesterday that I truly understood my obsession/addiction to all things web based.

This week as part of our teacher training homework we were asked to do a fast. When I first read the word “fast” I thought Michelle was asking us to go without food for a day. My first thought was that there was no way that was going to happen. Then when I read the assignment a little closer I realized she was asking for us to look for a place in our life where we were experiencing overload and to take a one day break from how we ususally spend our time.

Here’s the assignment:

Shauca and 5th Chakra are both about clearing, clarity, purity. In honor of that, let’s do a one-day fast. Consider what you need to fast on…where do you proliferate, clutter, confuse your life unnecessarily?  Chose one aspect of your life and create the intention to cleanse in that direction.  It may be the simple act of not taking in any stimulant of any sort: tea, coffee, sugar, alcohol, etc.  It may be a cleanse of TV, radio, movies, papers.  It may be a fast of email and phone obsession. You chose the topic and the day. Comments?

 Here are my notes on my day without the internet….

INTENTION: One day fast = no internet 10/18/09. Instead of tweeting, Facebooking, Googling, Yelping and emailing all day I’m going to work on cleaning house, grading papers, lesson planning and reading books. Then I’m going out to dinner with my Jeddy and possibly going to the movies.

 REALITY: Got up at 7:30 and immediately thought I need to check my Twitter and Facebook. Then I remembered my fast and started tidying up and organizing my very unorganized stuff.

First stop: the snack shelf in the kitchen. The plethora of nuts, dried fruits and seeds was unruly and uncontrollable. Enter basket from the laundry room and now it’s all tidy. Just that small step feels like a huge victory against the clutter.

Next stop: the coffee table/couch/otherwise known as my “office”.  I took everything off and from under the coffee table. Holy moly – the treasures found there! Armed with the garbage and recycling bin I made three huge piles of keepers: yoga, adoption and work. Shocking that those piles were huge, given that is all I’m doing these days. I also found a huge pile of shoes, but that’s a whole other post! 

I dusted the living room and realized part of my problem is that my yoga stuff doesn’t have a home other than on and under the coffee table. I took care of that problem by tackling the bookshelf next to the front door. Again armed with the recycling bin, garbage can and my 3 piles I got to work on that. Shocking! Another treasure trove: yoga, adoption and work. More shoes, scarves and jackets too!! 

Now that the bookshelf was cleaned off, I put all my yoga stuff in one place. All my books finally have a home! I searched the house for all of them and now they live on the bookshelf by the front door. I vacuumed underneath the couch and the chair in my “office” and I felt like a new person!

 Work stuff is now organized and returning to work with me Monday morning. Adoption stuff is going with the other adoption stuff. Ahhhhhh…. space!

 It turns out clutter busting is contagious! Jed’s “office” – the dining room table – sits directly across from my office – the couch. His piles of crap were bugging me too. He was inspired to clean it off. Now the “view”  from my office is better too!

 Next stop: my closet.  Underneath all the piles of stuff shoved in there were the last remnants of my last big organization day. It only took about 30 minutes to clear out all the unwanted clothes that I threw in there over the last year. I made Jeddy take them to a green donation box because I am good at getting stuff out of my closet, but not so good at getting them all the way out of the house. Then I put away all my clean laundry from last weekend, made my bed dusted and vacuumed. Another clean, organized room!

 Jeddy, still inspired by my frantic work, washed all the dishes and emptied the dishwasher. I washed down all the surfaces in the kitchen.  Another clean room!

In between all the cleaning, I also graded some exams, filled in scan trons, started grading writing and thinking about report cards and upcoming parent teacher conferences.

At dinner time Jed and I went out and enjoyed conversation. We finished the day by watching two episodes of Dexter. While we were watching I realized how much I’ve been splitting my attention because for once I was watching without my computer sitting on my lap. True confessions! I watch TV while working on my computer – multitasking at its worst!

Admittedly, during every activity I was wondering what was going on with everyone I know. I am so used to knowing what people are doing “right now” that it felt strange being so far removed. I thought many times of all the things I needed (including my mile long to-do list still on my email), but I kept my promise to myself all day and never went online. 

 This fast is exactly what I needed. My physical space was closing in on me and I really felt like I wasn’t doing my part around the house and it showed. I’m now feeling better about that. I’m also feeling the sense of accomplishment that comes only with physical work and the space that comes with getting rid of unnecessary clutter.

In addition to the clearing of my physical space, my mind felt focused and uncluttered for the first time in a long time. I had the time and space to think about what I needed to do and the focus to accomplish a very long list of tasks.

 In doing this assignment I also learned something that I think I already knew. I spend WAAAAAAAYYY too much time online! I’ve decided I’m going to have to set limits on my media time so I can get more done and have this feeling more often.

Wo there!

What I intended to do yesterday:

• Struggle through the inset day at work
• Print off flyers for Semper Station
• Get on bus/train and give some flyers to Station
• Go home and watch TV
• Fall asleep, gently and without incident.

What I actually did:

• Really enjoyed Inset Day
• Went to pub…
• Had a discussion about communism
• …….
• Woke up this morning.

Good gravy my head hurts.  You can’t believe how much.  Never mind.  As usual, when there’s a problem there’s a Tim Minchin song to make you feel better.  Almost everything in this song relates to me – apart from the prunes…

It’s friday.  So I’m enjoying myself.I’m entering wordpress’ competition to put their logo in the most inventive places. Not sure that this qualifies as inventive, but it’s definately symbolic.

I’m running my own business, customers are plentiful, money is constantly coming in, expenses are low and times are good. I own my own house, drive a nice car and my girlfriend doesn’t want me to get her hamster. Then the sound of her calling my name repeatedly draws my attention away from my perfect life and into my actual one. Damn. Although that’s what I really want from life right now, I don’t see it becoming reality as clearly as I once did. But I daydream about it constantly.

Doesn’t sound too healthy, but it’s nice to daydream. But am I daydreaming irresponsibly? I mean I do it once or twice a day and that’s a generous estimation of how often I switch off and escape into my own personal reality . It’s not like I’m chugging pints and mowing people down, but I am my biggest obstacle in life because of this behaviour. The daydream I listed above is what I’m trying to achieve at the moment. I’m hoping to start my own business and survive via my own ideas and creative bounds. So far no joy as of yet.

I’m looking at properties, I’ve drawn the business plan, I’ve contacted possible investors, I’ve talked to banks about loans…but it’s just not progressing as it should. Or how I feel it should. Now I’m far from the optimist that you’ll assume me to be. It’s not just the happy go lucky bastards in life that have a wistful moment or two…but I think that after a long period of nothing, something should arise.

I don’t want this to come about via it’s own means like a bad plot device or some grand deus ex machina from the clouds, however I do need a break somewhere down the line to help things progress from beyond a pipedream. There is money to be made, and although it won’t have me buying my own private and taking over the world, it will tide me by and allow me the secruity to do the things I want to do in life.

I’ve appointments round the clock with the desire to do something tailing close behind me. If I only I’d stop retreating into my mind…It’s not helping. I may as well fast forward time around myself by 20 minutes or more at a time.

Because in the end that’s what daydream does, it wastes time, it spurs it away.

But you know what? In this very moment I don’t care.

- Heh irony strikes. I have a job interview in 45 minutes for my local news paper as a feature writer. I best get moving, and jump out of my head at this time.

Wish me luck!

- Dan-eel.

The Grand Lord pulled all of his minions together for a really expensive dinner.  Each of them had some fantastic ideas about the reason for the meeting but none of them really knew for sure.  As it was so far in the furture (it was over 12 charts until the meeting when the song announcing the feast was first sung) some thought about bringing their most famous Bitches with them.  Excuses were made and appointments were cancelled.  In the UK there was an uproar when a famous Bitch cancelled an entire show in order to attend the event with his Minion.

Suddenly though, a disgused but a rather sharply worded message concealed in one of the Grand Lord’s own charge’s songs soon stopped all these plans.  As they heard the words echoing down their long glass corridors the other minions exchanged e-mails deriding the choices of other, more enterprising Minions.  These e-mails were disgusting in their subjects and their accusations, but no more disgusting than what some of the Minions had forced their Bitches through.

For the 10 remaining charts (it had taken an unpresidented 2 weeks to build up the hype to get the song to No.1) the Minions ran around in panic.  There was a rumour going around that the Grand Lord was going to start a cull of the Bitches not seen since he decided that his Big Brother Bitches should no longer be anything above the C list.  Of course, for the minions who had lost Bitches in that great purge the rumour began that he was about to repeal that ban, allowing for their clients to climb back up the lists.

For those minions who currently had bitches in the C to A list they spinned their hype machines up, eager to stop any cull of their own bitches.   Weddings were arranged and cancelled, songs were released and comebacks scheduled.  Many magazines ran pictures of arguements and parties containing Bitches that had been laying dormant for dozens of charts.  The whole world wondered whether the whole world was going mad!  It turned out that it was.

Then one night the Minions all met up at the Grand Lord’s Castle for the meeting.  But that is another story, for another day…

I repaired my first bike puncture last week but I still couldn’t tell a spoke nipple from a derailleur. (But I can spell derailleur without needing to resort to Google, how weird does that make me?)

I’ve become rather addicted to watching late night poker games on TV, even though most of the players are misogynistic tossers.

I’ve discovered that banana bread and peanut butter is a dynamite combination, although I now get why Elvis ended up so fat.

I was supposed to go to the gym yesterday but spent the evening drinking rioja and redesigning my blog instead.

Wow.  What with the hot weather and over-excited kids I find this week has dragged somewhat.  And its only the first week of a mammoth half term as well.  Oh its enough to get a minor mind depressed.  Luckily I’m an absolute legend and don’t let the little things get me depressed.  I think thats a song.  Never mind.

I’ve got a new phone now and am quite enjoying that.  I’m finally on pay as you go – which has now completely ended any horrible contracts I’m tied to.  Apart from the one to my landlord and the loan I’m repaying to my Mom.  But I try not to think about that because I can afford it.  Unless I get another job that only pays a small amount of money.  But why would I do that?

What else?  Writing?  Well I’ve been over my old short play ‘Incompetent Men’ which I’ve renamed ‘Urination as a form of Social Protest’.  As well as renaming it (which was partly due to someone’s excellent synopsis) I’ve been through it and made it much funnier – if I do say so myself.  I think it might almost be excellent now.  Hopefully by the time you read this it’ll be alongside New Lives on the plays page.  But you never know.

That’ll do for now I think .  I’m working on another couple of projects but I don’t want to bore you with the details (yet)

Friday randomness you scream?  Well how about this.  The legend ends…

Loves

Phil

I’ve decided to waste some time by giving others suggestions as to how to waste their time! Over on the right of this page is a link to something I’ve called the Timewaster’s Guide, basically a load of drivel about something I’ve lost hours with and encourage you to do the same.

Have a look if you’ve got time to kill. I know I do!

Hello there party people! Sorry I have not been regaling you with the fascinating tales of my life recently, but it’s not been the proverbial bed of roses! This is a public blog so I won’t go into details, but it is work related! 

I’ve been crafting away and have finished my ‘Spring Scarf’ which I’ve blocked and will provide pictures of soon. I’m now working on some fingerless gloves to go with it, my knitted monkey and Pennydog’s Garden Swap. In the meantime, have a time wasting game, swiped from Meridian Ariel.

“Let’s Play”

Let’s Play rules: IT’S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! COPY, ERASE MY ANSWERS, ENTER YOURS, POST IT ON YOUR BLOG, FACEBOOK, ETC. USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES, AND THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP! TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL.

Have Fun!!

1. What is your last name? Pettis
2. A 4 Letter Word? Poop (sorry, I’m very lavatorial at the moment!)
3. A Boy’s Name? Paul
4. A Girl’s name? Patricia
5. An Occupation? Policeman
6. A Color? Purple – my favourite!
7. Something you wear? Pullover
8. A Beverage? Pepsi
9. A Food? Pineapple
10. Something found in the bathroom? Perfume (in my bathroom at any rate)
11. A place? Peterculter (where I live!)
12. A Reason for being late? Procrastination
13. Things you shout? Prat!

Tag. You’re it.

It’s ridiculous really, how attached I’ve become to this little white piece of plastic. I didn’t have much time for it last week, but when I did manage to sit down for a little light blog readin’ and such it threw a mickey fit (abandonment issues much?) and melted its power cable. Proper melted, like, I could smell burning and everything. Lawks.

So offline I stayed. No new music, no feed reader, no food/house porn, no trashy gossip sites. And it didn’t kill me. In fact, I got loads done – crochet, reading, an actual honest-to-god run in the park.

It’s good to be back and all, but I’m starting to think I could definitely manage this.

Its not quite as serious as I’m making out above.  Yes I’ve realised something today, which really irked me as there is nothing I can do about it at the moment.  I need to buy some more note books.  This proves a problem for me as its not as easy to write in those little books without enquiring minds asking what’s going on.

On a laptop I can hide, pretend procrastination.  I can look at the news and kill ten minutes browsing the BBC’s most watched videos (in silence).  I can check what’s going on with my favourite and less favourite football teams.   I can…

What a waste of time!  Stratch all that, bring on the notebooks!

Some notebooks. Mine's blue

See you all on Sunday – if not before

Phil

Well that’s about the end of the week.  There’s a few hours left, but I can quite easily grit my teeth and get through them (then, when I get home, I’ll drift into a lazy sleep)

That super-disciplined writing I promised myself never materialised.  You could blame God, you could blame the politicians, but you’d probably have to blame me first.  It appears that I’m just too damn lazy.  Maybe when the money dries up (I’ve not been fired) I’ll have to do some harder work.

In true last post of the week style I’ve managed to find an absolutely brilliant (and real) film trailer.  Its currently doing the rounds and I’m only the hundreth person to do it, but I’ve decided to include it here.  This is a real film apparently.  Watch the guy’s face at the end!

I don’t think you can say anything to that. 

Goodbye luvvies, come back Monday for an update on rehearsals.

Phil

The week is over!  And my plan for the weekend?  To write a synopsis for a play submission and rest!  There is a rehearsal on Sunday for my lovely actors, which should be fun as they’ve been learning their lines….  Over the phone.  Now, I hope they were joking when they said they’d charge me for the phone calls but still I can’t help but wonder.  (I nearly wrote wander then.  That would have been silly).

I’ll find some nice pictures now.  Here’s one of  a cheese monster I hope he doesn’t come and get you whilst you sleep!

He might grape you in the mouth!  Watch this video and you’ll understand.

Imagine that.  That would be horrible.  Those of you wondering quite what I’m on about don’t think about it.  Because I have no idea.  But I’m tired now, sleepy sleep.

I want wine!

Phil

You’ll have to excuse the extremely cool title to this blog.  I’m just happy that my wit and intelligence (two things that most people don’t associate with me) have been recognised on by someone outside my immediate family!

(Not that my family aren’t important mind – I love my Mum – but its nice to be accepted by the wider world without feeling that they owe me because of relationships formed over my entire 24 years on the planet)

For those of you who don’t know it (and shame on you) www.holymoly.com may just be the best celebrity gossip site in the world, managing to be very funny and at the same time completely ripping it out of everyone and everything.   So I’ll put the comment that won me the accolade that only I care about on.  Here’s the picture and my winning caption….!

Well at least two of the fireworks went off properly

Ha!  Come again for some more pearls of wisdom.  Or ramblings of a madman.  So much comes under the umbrella.

I went on the www.journalism.co.uk website yesterday and found a link to www.pulsepulse.co.uk.   After a searching e-mail with a good idea in it I have volunteered to write from them!

This is far from a done deal, mind you.  I need to write a piece for them for a trial.  Once done they want to have a look before deciding whether or not to pop it on their blog.  Although its the case of another unpaid job I can’t help thinking that if I build up a big enough portfolio I’ll be able to impress potential employers in the future.

Me - this week

On other topics, I’ve been desperately trying to get myself motivated this week to do some writing.  By writing I mean stuff that’ll need me to use my imagination, rather than research and all that.  Its proving very difficult, and I may just put this week down as a lost cause.  I’d rather have something at the end of it though…

Never mind.

I’m bored. I was going to do some writing but I’m too hungry. So instead I’m going to post the funniest bit of Family Guy from the past year. Its not an official thing that, I just decided its very funny.

Enjoy, bitches,

Phil

Well this is my last post for the weekend.  Its been a fairly eventful week, if only the way I’ve made the blog look a little prettier.

Oh, and I’ve been offered work experience by the BBC.  I’m sorry if I’ve mentioned that before but I’m rather happy about it.  Am now just about to print off some scripts for my cast ahead of the first rehearsal this Saturday.

I’m also getting a new car this Saturday that looks a little like this one.

But not exactly.  Ok.  I was looking for a funny picture so but I decided to type in funny GIF file into google.  Look what I found.

Ha!  Was going to put a video in but didn’t want to over stimulate you all.

Phil