I’ve never wanted to win a Nobel Prize until now.

Will Smith, Wyclef, Natasha Bedingfield and Toby Keith (Yes, Toby Keith) hold it down for the Nobel Peace Prize after party. This is one of the illest things I’ve ever seen. It’s just so hip hop. Freestyling, beatboxing, free spirited collaboration, and partyin’. Race, nationality, genre, they don’t matter. No one cares about anything except havin’ a good time. In this setting Toby Keith singing “Killin’ Me Softly”, and spitting “Rapper’s Delight” (he knows every word) seems completely natural. So does Natasha Bedingfield going in on “Ready or Not”.

The rest of it…

Nothing rocks a party like hip hop. And seen all these Norwegians gettin’ down is just pure dope. Peep the actual concert before, Wyclef got a stadium full of black tie dignataries wavin’ their hands man. That’s beautiful.

Which is also why this Tobe Keith racist shit pisses me off. Why do people have to inject everything with some kind of controversy. Supposedly Toby Keith pulls his eyelid back when they say “yellow” in Rapper’s Delight (1:20 into the second video), before making gunshots with his hand at the line “bang, bang” towards Will Smith. First off you can’t really see shit, so whoever noticed an eyelid pullback had to be looking for Toby Keith to do something racist. And the “bang, bang” controversy I’m not even gonna dignify with further attention. Now, I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if Toby Keith was racist, but let him do something actually bad instead of trying to call him out for an errant finger. This was a really fun, positive performance that appears to be very much in the spirit of unity and inclusion and some people just can’t deal with that. Pissin’ me off.

And on that note I leave you with a little gem from the man Wyclef calls a “true MC” about people hatin’ on  positivity and inclusion…

Kali, future laureate

So these guys decided they should go ahead and perform at the Nobel Peace Prize Hip-Hop Concert Afterparty. I thought it was really good. A nice ode to hip-hop as well as Obama. Interesting to see that Toby Keith knows these words also. Show’s you the expansive reach of Hip-Hop. I mean, why else would they have a concert for the Nobel Peace Prize if Hip-Hop hasn’t become a universal language.

Just a thought: It’s almost 2010 people, let’s start opening our eyes to see further than just what’s down the block. Explore something new this coming year. Try something you’d have NEVER thought to try. Talk to someone you wouldn’t bother yourself to talk to. The things you could learn, and the doors you could open from such a simple exploration are endless.

OK – I know this is going to be a tough one…but we can’t help being curious to see who you guys pick.

Who would you pick to perform live to make this New Year’s Eve the most rockin’ Eve ever? (ony one!!!) You can add your own entry if your pick is not listed

Let's see who gets picked for the ultimate New Year's Bash Concert!

Earle's latest album.

Country music today seems ‘tweenish’. Like it’s made for the American Idol crowd. Wonderin’ if cowboys actually listen to this, or are they just embarrassed by it? Seems like authentic manly country bros would want songs about authentic manly country stuff,  like ranching, shotguns, whiskey, hard work and bbq.  I’m not sure popular country gets the job done.

Im not sure this ^^^^^ is a typical day for a country bro…Probably too much water skiing in jeans.

If ur a man u like meat. If ur a country man u like bbq^^^.

Anyways, I guess country isn’t good/hip today for a lot of reasons. One is probably that a lot of young people don’t really like the outdoors and therefore can’t relate. They just like bands with outdoorsy sounding names like, Fleet Foxes, Panda Bear, Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective, Department of Eagles, Woods, The Mountain Goats, The Dodos etc. However, country peeps do authentically wear plaid/flannel which is a plus.

Woods - 2009. The musical equivalent of a nature walk for someone in Williamsburg

One of my favorite songs on ‘Midnight at the Movies’  is this tune called ‘Black eyed Suzy’. This is definitely about an aging street walker, a.k.a. ‘a beat up ole ho’. The song is catchy, upbeat and has a bluegrass feel.  I think a lot of ole timey type bros would like it, despite its subject matter. Feel like that if this same song were a rap/hip-hop song most of these same people would say that this is what’s wrong with America today. You know, “A lack of morals and decency” or something. Not sure why it’s ok for people to say sexist things while being an ‘old skool country guy’, but completely unacceptable if you are a rapper/ r&b singer. I feel like a lot of people who would h8 on Eminem for writing those songs about killing his girlfriend, probably love and have no problem with Johnny Cash’s ‘Cocaine Blues’. Which is essentially about a husband doing some blow, killing his wife and then running from the law:

Early one mornin’ while makin’ the rounds
I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed I stuck that lovin’ 44 beneath my head

Got up next mornin’ and I grabbed that gun took a shot of cocaine and away I run
Made a good run but I run too slow they overtook me down in Juarez Mexico

This song, ‘Whiskey in my Whiskey’ by the Felice Brothers is also about killing a girlfriend.  Seems chill enough.

Whiskey in My Whiskey – The Felice Brothers
Drinkin’ and woman killin’ = country music/lawsuit

Also, seems like country music may have a bit of a double standard. The whole industry went super crazy/became outraged at this one Dixie Chix tune called “Earle had to Die”. The song is about this woman eventually killing her drunk, d-bag, abusive husband named Earle. Seems like a much more legit reason for killin’ someone than snortin’ up some drugz.  I think that in any other form of media, besides country music, this type of thing would be applauded. The song would probably be blasted loudly at feminist type events, while being featured on womens programming like the Joy Behar show and Merideth Baxter Birney movies. Why is the country music industry still so sexist/behind on the times? Whats wrong with a broad standin’ up for herself?

F**K you Earle!

I think it’s possible that country held on to the crappy sexist/conservative part of its past while ditching what was actually good about its old school music. I think that this is why we are basically only left with right-wing (probably racist) d-bags like Toby Keith singin’ stooopid cheezy pop songs on country radio. I guess that I just thought Justin Townes Ealre’s cd was so great/authentic, that it got me h8n hardcore on the mainstream shizz that most people consider country music. I just think that sensible country folk need music as well. I hope maybe peeps like Justin Townes Earle, The Felice Brothers, Neko Case, Josh Ritter, Old Crow Medicine Show and the Avett Brothers can bring this music to them.

Have you ever listened to country music?
Where do you think country ‘went wrong’?
What would you most like to hit Toby Keith over the head with?
Are the Dixie Chicks ‘authentic’?

Midnight at the Movies – 4.5 out of 5 stars.

NORMAN, OK – Country singer Toby Keith offended Asian people everywhere with a racist gesture.  His manager blames it on Keith having been lobotomized early in his career.

Toby Keith offended millions at the Nobel Peace Price after party last week.  While Will Smith sang “Rappers Delight” Keith pulled his eyes back to illustrate the word “yellow” with a racist gesture.  Since then his management has come forward saying “We apologize for any offense Mr. Keith has caused.  Mr. Keith himself does not understand what he did as he received a lobotomy to help further his country music career.”

Toby Keith elected to be partially lobotomized to better his chances of being a country music star.  Years ago Keith was an associate professor of linguistics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  In between his post-doctoral work Keith, who then went by Tobias, self-released an album, Unfamiliar Skies.  Critics described his work as like Brian Eno with an electric guitar and a mouth full of dip.  Executives with Nashville Records saw the potential in the young man, but knew his work was too smart to relate to the average country western audience.  So Toby Keith elected to have a small section of his brain removed so as to better relate to a country-western audience.

Since critically impairing his cognitive function in the early 90’s Keith has become one of Country music’s biggest stars.  His trademark hat is always worn to hide the massive scars from where sections of his frontal lobe were removed.  Now he requires a handler and is unable to do math, but he made $14 million last year alone.

Management for Keith say that he does not yet understand why what he did was wrong, but they will continue to explain it to him.  Nashville Records has issued a formal apology and promised that Mr. Keith’s handlers will make sure he does not do that again.

Gosselin, Jon – The Jon and Kate Plus 8 star is having money troubles so severe that he has told his lawyers they will not be paid unless his suit against TLC succeeds.  Looks like young blondes weren’t the only people Gosselin was screwing while married.

Link: Gosselin Going Broke (Fox)

Keith, Toby – The country music star made a potentially racist gesture during his impromptu performance with Will Smith at a Nobel Peace Prize party.  The big question here: what the hell is Toby Keith doing at a Nobel Peace Prize party?

Link: Keith Offends (TMZ)

Mole, Celebrity – A popular cultural signpost is gone, folks, making its owner find something else to draw in viewers.  Yes, Sarah Jessica Parker has had her “signature” mole removed.  What, you thought I was talking about this?

Link: Celebrity Mole Gone (Huffington Post)

Nordegren, Elin – Tiger Woods’ wife has reportedly picked up an endorsement from Puma athletic and footwear, a rival of Tiger sponsor Nike.  Spokespeople say there was nothing intentional about her choosing to represent a competing company.  However, Nordegren’s supposed impending deals with Mossberg Shotguns, Stihl Chainsaws, and the sulfuric acid industry should give Tiger pause.

Link: Nordegren’s Endorsements (TMZ)

Quaids, The – Randy and Evi Quaid are now fugitives.  After missing four voluntary appearances, the couple failed to appear again on Tuesday after they had posted bail.  Law enforcement officials are searching for them at surprisingly low-security gatherings where odd-looking couples could blend in, like a White House State dinner.

Link: Quaids On The Run (CNN)

Spelling, Tori – The actress had a difficult day recently when she burnt her hand and had a bird poop on her head.  In its defense, the bird said it was simply expressing its opinion of the 90210 update.

Link: Spelling’s Bad Hair Day (People)

Any fan of Country Music knows that Toby Keith is no stranger to trouble. The country rock star is a living legend in the realm of blues infused guitar ballads and is known for his brash, “devil may care” attitude, but the same cannot be said for another music legend, Will Smith.

Far removed from his squeaky clean musical lyrics and carefully crafted image, the mega-movie star has found himself embroiled in the most unlikely of situations, as key representatives from several Asian civil rights groups are alleging that a concert performance by the Fresh Prince and Mr. Red, White n’ Blue contained racists gesturing.

The two performers’s rapped the lyrics of Hip-Hop classic, “Rapper’s Delight,” for the Nobel Peace Prize Concert on which Keith pulled back his eyes in what many believe to be an imitation of the slanted eye feature stereotypically attributed to all members of the Asian community.

“Toby Keith embarrassed himself and his country,” remarked a representative form the Asian American Justice Center. “[He] denigrated the Nobel Peace Prize and offended Asians and Asian Americans by using a crude, racist hand gesture.”

What do you think Hip-Hop Headz…..

Is this incident blown out of proportion and people are being too sensitive or is there really an issue with what Toby Keith did during the performance???

Peep the video and let HipHipWired know what you think….

Another day, another “country” music singer pulling a “chink eye”. Taking a page out of the Miley Cyrus book on how to alienate your Asian fans, Toby Keith (I have no idea who this is, I don’t listen to the three C’s of music: Classic Rock, Classical, and Country), decided to pull a “chink eye” during Will Smith’s rendition of Rapper’s Delight. During the line: “See, I am Wonder Mike and I’d like to say hello. To the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow”, Toby did this (timed perfectly with the word “Yellow”):

Toby Keith pulling his eyes back as Will Smith thinks, "Oh SHIT!"

The worst part is this concert looked like it was SUPPOSE to be bringing races together, Black folks into hip hop and White folks into country. It was a concert for the freaking NOBEL PEACE Prize for F sake! For a President that grew up in HAWAII AND INDONESIA! Except Toby’s idea of bringing folks together doesn’t include Asians. Come on, you could IGNORE US at the very LEAST! Better that than pulling out the ole “chink eyes”. Also great is Toby Keith’s rep, probably a cousin/uncle (the slash is meant to imply “and”, not “either/or”), in reply to the gesture said: “nobody at the party thought Toby was out of line.”

Oh that’s great! If they didn’t think it was out of line, maybe we should fly Will Smith and Toby Keith straight from Norway to the Miss China pageant this year and redo the whole concert, word for word, gesture by gesture! Lovely! And peep the comments on HuffPo (I thought those folks were suppose to be  liberal/progressives?).

Check out the whole video, Toby Keith ruins Rapper’s Delight around 0:24:

Have you ever just been driving along, feeling kind of down, and a song comes on the radio that really touches your heart?  I’m very eclectic when it comes to music in that I like a lot of different kinds, which is the definition of eclectic.  If you were to steal my iPod (I hope you don’t), you wouldn’t be able to tell my favorite music.  You might be thrown by how much Toby Keith I have on there, but it’s an Oklahoma thing.

I was on my way to school one day and a new song came on KLOVE and it made me stop in my tracks.  Not stop on the highway, but metaphorically stop in my tracks.  It’s by Sanctus Real and it doesn’t even come out until like March, but there it was on the radio just for me (and the millions of other people who listen).  Okay, so it may not have been just for me, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.  Just read the last two lines: When I don’t measure up to much in this life, Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ. This song is my anthem. This is the song that should play when I win my blogging award (Huh?). I really can’t build it up enough.

Here’s the video of them singing it live; and if you can’t watch it, the lyrics are listed underneath.  Or you can click here to hear the audio. It may not be what you needed to hear today, but it’s sure what I need to hear every day.  Seriously, you cannot NOT love this song, which is a double negative way of saying I hope you love it.  And not for nothing, but the lead singer is pretty cute too.

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘Cause

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

With the holiday season in full swing, I’m sure there are plenty of songs that you and your loved ones play to help you create the holiday spirit. Every single year during this time, you’ll see holidays songs make a mad dash for the top of the music selling charts. Classics from the Tans-Siberian Orchestra, Nat “King” Cole, and Brenda Lee will be blasting out of your speakers and everyone in Whoville will beam smiles across their faces.

Enter iTunes Marketing Staff.

When you know someone is going to buy a certain product at a fixed time, wouldn’t you try everything to entice people to buy more of that product? That is exactly what iTunes had in mind. Through social media outlets, iTunes recently released a special promotion link that allowed you to download 20 free holiday songs to help you celebrate.

If you’re like me, you’ll never refuse to check out a free sampler. And as with most downloads, all the newly acquired music will appear in the “recently added” section. Among the files was a non audio file. When I first saw the extra file that was attached to the sampler, I immediately thought that they put together a small booklet to commemorate the sampler, but what I saw next surprised me…

iTunes had included an interactive Flash video. Open it up and you’ll see the themed menu.

If you progress further within the Flash file, you’ll see that iTunes has placed a quick artist bio and a feature picture for each artist that was selected to be a part of the sampler. The image below is for the song Toby Keith included, entitled “We Three Kings”.

So what are we to make of all of this? Has iTunes resorted to advertising within itself using flash?

• In most scenarios, you would allows the music to sell itself. If the listener likes the artist, then he or she will continue to purchase songs from those artists. Even when they do allow for free downloads, a good percentage of those music giveaways features artists who aren’t well known or are trying to start their career running.
• Since the artists that are features are filled with A-listers, you might determine that it is only a holiday special that is trying to draw attention to the music store and the individual artists. But all this work for a one week only special? Digital Sales obviously aren’t making up for the loss in hard copy sales.
• If iTunes has tinkered with the idea of making music more interactive, this would be the first step. Maybe this little video will help drive sales up if people know they’ll be getting a fancy “replacement booklet”. Pair this with the new unseen Mac Tablet and you have a 1-2 punch.
• While advertising within itself is nothing new to the store, you have to think when we’ll start seeing hard copy advertising. If you think within your own head for too long, you’re not going to learn anything new. I’d really like to see timely advertising from iTunes. Do they need it? No… not yet. But how much of an eye opener would it be if you saw outdoor and television advertising for iTunes during the 2010 Winter Olympics and World Cup?

Apart from all the analyzing as to why this was included, I will say it adds a nice touch. Adding a flash video is something you have to use carefully because it can and will get old very quickly. No matter what you make of the flash video that was included with the sampler, Cindy Lou Who is still going to be buying her favorite holiday music. Mission Accomplished iTunes.

Yes, you read right…”After party”… because all real celebrities politicians, have after parties….smh

Video via:Rap Radar

When the clock rolls over to midnight on January 1, 2010, the ’00s will be history and a fresh new decade will begin.  Billboard recently released their list of the top 25 artists who made a little history of their own in the past decade by having the top-grossing tours.  They traveled the world and rocked millions of fans–now take a look at the top touring acts of the 2000s.

25-20

25. Trans-Siberian Orchestra

24. Toby Keith

23.  Tina Turner

22.  Jimmy Buffett

21.  Britney Spears

20.  Rascal Flatts

For more information on the artists and their shows (including touring stats) visit www.billboard.com.  Check back tomorrow for 19-15!

Toby Keith was in Oslo, Norway last week to participate in the Nobel Peace Prize concert.  While he was there he stirred up a little controversy among the locals for being

Toby Keith

 a part of the concert but having a song like “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue,” which they consider a pro-war anthem.  Toby wasn’t phased by the criticism.  He said, “If someone wants to say that one song out of 30 million albums sold and 27 No. 1’s is inappropriate, then you can jump up and down about the one song.”  As for those who questioned the fact that President Obama was a recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize when he just ordered more troops to Afghanistan, Toby said, “If President Obama has to send (more) troops into Afghanistan to fight evil, I’ll pull for our guys to win, and I won’t apologize for it.  I’m an American, and I do pull for our team to fight evil.”

Right now, iTunes is giving away a free 20-track holiday sampler download including artists like Amy Grant, Barry Manilow, Mannheim Steamroller, Lady Antebellum, Toby Keith, Charlotte Church and more! Just the thing to get you in the Holiday spirit!

As the attacks on President Barack Obama intensify over his Afghanistan policy, country music star Toby Keith is standing beside him–supporting his decision with a performance in Oslo, Norway.

While I have my disagreements over whether or not Obama deserved the Peace Prize, it goes without question that an effort to stabilize Afghanistan by crushing the Taliban fall under the category of trying to bring peace to the world. Even the Dalai Lama, who many see as the most peaceful man on earth, has said that fanatical extremists like the Taliban cannot be reasoned with. Some of the European “peace activists” and the American leftists back home who have gone up in arms (sic) over Obama’s surge strategy need to be reminded of this. No amount of reasoning and dialogue is going to stop the Taliban from hating women, blowing stuff up, or wanting to bring about a global backslide into the dark ages.

From AP:

OSLO — There’s no reason to apologize for supporting U.S. war efforts, American country singer Toby Keith said Friday, just hours before performing at the annual Nobel Peace Prize concert.

Keith, whose 2002 saber-rattling hit “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)” was inspired by the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, said he stands by President Barack Obama’s decision to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan.

Keith’s appearance at the downtown Oslo Spektrum arena, scheduled for 1900 GMT (2 p.m. EST), has been questioned by Norwegians dismayed that a performer known for a fervent pro-war anthem is playing at a show focused on peace.

The musician dismissed the criticism.

“If President Obama has to send (more) troops into Afghanistan to fight evil, I’ll pull for our guys to win, and I won’t apologize for it,” Keith said. “I’m an American, and I do pull for our team to fight evil.”

His comments come the day after Obama traveled to Oslo to collect his Nobel Peace Prize and defended his decision to increase troop levels in Afghanistan. “Make no mistake: Evil does exist in the world,” Obama said in Thursday’s speech.

The peace prize laureate normally attends the concert, which is held in his or her honor. Obama’s seat, however, will remain empty. The president left the Norwegian capital early Friday morning, blaming a jammed schedule for cutting the usual three-day stay to just over 24 hours.

The Taliban are no doubt angry about Obama’s decision, so Afghans and Pakistanis at the center of this battle might want to avoid going to mosques and shopping centers for a while. The insurgents tend to take their violence to civilian areas when things don’t go their way.

Found this on twitter, it’s a Free Christmas Album.

20 Tracks, 20 Artists, ranging from Toby Keith to Weezer.

Just click open in iTunes, and when it does Click Free Album button!

Its Awesome, thanks again Apple!

-Tim Scouten

Soon to be situated along the Monongahela River in SouthSide Works, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill received final approval Tuesday from the city planning commission.

According to PittsburghLive.Com, the Pittsburgh Planning Commission approved the final development plan for the one-story building that will feature 19,000 square feet of indoor and outdoor dining space and an entertainment facility. It also will feature a guitar-shaped bar inside, according to Ilan Baldinger of Baldinger Architecture Studio.

The restaurant and bar will be located next to the South Shore Riverfront Park piazza.

PCW Extreme Political TV
DeltaPlex Arena
Grand Rapids, MI
Saturday December 6th
Host: Johnny Suave

MEN’S TOP 50

Suave: “Hello and welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV.  I am Johnny Suave and tonight is a huge night.  By the end of the night, we will know the PCW end of next Saturday’s Night of Champions Card.   Here are the matches:

The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman (Independent) with Argon vs. ’The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade
- winner gets Public Utilities- Big Oil/Big Electric for the PCW Tag Team Television Title.

Bobby Ricky Michaels of Midnite Rockin’ Xpress, managed by Dr. Bill (American Patriots) vs. PCW’s latest rookie sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. Newt Tron Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots)
-winner faces PCW Television Champion SNAFU for the title at Night of Champions

Jack Schett and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
-winner meets ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Kevin Scott for the PCW Tag Team Title at Night of Champions.

‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Justin Sufferable (American Heartland Coalition)
-winner faces PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism at Night of Champions

PCW Television Champion SNAFU walks out with the Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt Dawn McGill.  Suave: “Let’s go back to Wednesday night’s PCW House Show…Show.”

Replay from this past Wednesday Night:
On the other side, Dawn McGill just finishes annihilating the Skanky Rich Bimbos with repeated Singapore caneshots, and she gets blindsided by Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Tag Team Champions Angels of Death!  SNAFU tries to help Dawn but he gets attacked by Dr. Phil wannabe, Self-Help Guru and Manager of Champions Dr. Bill and the Midnite Rockin’ Xpress.   AoD’s Angel Scott and Angel Casey overpower McGill and nail a Death Spiral Drop on her on the ring floor.  Dr. Bill and his ‘bionic’ arm KO SNAFU and leave him in a heap in the ring.

SNAFU: “Dr. Bill.  Everyone knows that your so-called ‘bionic arm’ is a fraud…a fake.  You lied about Dr. Annabel Lecktor supposedly eating your arm so you could put that steel brace on your arm.  I promise you this.  If one of your wrestlers makes it to next week’s Night of Champions, after I defeat them I will tear that brace off your arm myself.”  Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHH!”  SNAFU: “Now as for Angels of Death who attacked Dawn McGill, Dawn will deal with you tomorrow night in Cedar Rapids, Iowa at the Missouri Valley Wrestling show.  But there’s someone else I want to address- a xenophobic moron named Christopher America over at High Octane Wrestling.  Here’s some the bile that’s come out of this asshole’s piehole…”

(Courtesy of High Octane Wrestling)
Christopher America: Dawn, you keep asking whether it is okay to call me Chris. While I appreciate the groveling, I must inform you that in America today, women are unfortunately allowed to vote, hold jobs, speak their minds, and cheat with Cau-bl-asian golfers. So, you can call me Chris, Dawn. Unless, you were trying to get my permission, in which to that I say, keep being kinky.

I do not wish to wrestle at ICONIC. I was commenting on why the card is what it is. However, if the powers that be did grant us a match, it’d be under my terms which is HOFC. But I doubt that it will happen, so you have nothing to worry about and nothing to piss yourself over. Nah, it really doesn’t hurt that I didn’t get a title shot on my first night. Like a true American, I expected to earn my way through HOW. OOPS. You know what? That’s unfair. You did earn your title shot. On your knees. In the dark office.

You’ve ranked in the top 25! WOW! I’ve ranked in the top 5 of HOW. I’ve also ranked #2 in matches when I beat Shane Reynolds. It was great. I love top 5. By the way, getting ranked #5 on a list of women is like getting picked second to last for dodgeball at school. Sure, you aren’t last, but second to last ain’t great either.

You manage Miss USA? I remember her! Lee Best signed her and then she managed to drop off the face of the earth. Probably the best female wrestler ever in HOW. She was seen but never heard…

SNAFU: “Would someone at HOW do the world a favor and stick Christopher America back into the DeLoren and send him back to 1955- where he and his archaic views about women belong?  You embody the spirit of America about as much as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  SAVEUS 232?  Congratulations.  Not just any moron can rip off Chris Jericho’s return gimmick.   Dude, I watch Jericho on television.  Chris Jericho is a great wrestler.  YOU are no Chris Jericho.  It sounds to me like if anything needs to be saved, it’s High Octane Wrestling from your mediocrity.”  McGill: “You know, Christine.  I was wrong.  I do want to meet you inside the squared circle so I can slap the taste out of your mouth and send you crying like a little bitch back to your dressing room.  Since all the matches are booked for HOW’s ICONIC show, why don’t you come down to Puerto de Macoris for this little show in two weeks called WWR Supershow II- Christmas in the Caribbean.  Do you actually have the balls to step into the same ring with me?  Or are you going to respond with another one of your inane rants about your mother being a whore or something like that.  What’s it going to be Chrissy?  I’ll be there.”  McGill throws the mic down and exits. 

————————————–

ICON 

ICON TITLE
BURIED ALIVE REMATCH
Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

 LSD TITLE
HOUSE OF MIRRORS MATCH
Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

HOFC FINALS
Bobbinette Carey vs. Michael DeNucci©

TAG TEAM TITLE
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE ELIMINATION MATCH
Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs.
The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

HARDCORE SUBMISSION MATCH
SPECIAL REFEREE CHRIS CK
Trent vs. Jatt Starr

HELL’S HORROR MATCH
Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

SPECIAL ONE TIME ONLY MATCH
Ryan Faze vs. Big Buff Benny Newell

————————————–

Dream Wrestling Federation

Lethal Lottery!
Slaughter heads to the former home of sVo: Showdown! All matches determined the night of the show!

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

WEB CAST EXCLUSIVE TAPING

Force vs. Jimmy Riley

eGG Bandits vs. Brothers of Prophecy
Tag Team Title Match

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TAPING

Dr. EMO vs. Bishop Steele

Charlie Blackwell vs. Upton Osgood

Marshall vs. B.R. Ellis

Travis Williams vs. Anti-Hero
You Call It Championship

501 vs. Lupin Cy
DREAM Championship

——————————————–

Suave: “Let’s get to the ring and our brand new ring announcer, Kimber Marshall…hello!”  Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.  Kimber: “Our first match tonight is a tag match and the winner meets PCW Tag Team Television Champions Public Utilities next week at Night of Champions.  On their way to the ring at this time, The Goatbusters!”

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon.  Kimber: “Their opponents, The Raving Rednecks- LOCKE…AND…LOADE!”

*Toby Keith’s ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ begins to play*

Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your friend?
And who’s the one guy that you come runnin’ to
When your lovelife starts tumblin?
I got the money if you got the honey
Lets cut a deal lets make a plan
Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your man?

Locke and Loade in the ring holding up their framed picture of Toby Keith.  Suave: “PCW Originals Locke and Loade versus newcomers The Goatbusters with the winner getting a shot at the PCW Tag Team Television Title.”  The bell rings.    Suave: “Scantz and Locke to start.” 

Scantz grabs a headlock on Locke but is unable to make him budge with shoulder blocks. Locke hits a big forearm, Scantz tries a hip block takeover but Locke lifts him up in a fireman’s carry, Scantz escapes, dodges and weaves and hits a leaping heel kick. Scantz hits a big chop but Locke levels him with a single shoulder block.   Loade in and sets up a table.  Locke gives Scantz an Ace Crusher through it!  Locke gets up. Locke covers Scantz hooking the leg. Davey Keels counts the pin. …1…2 Jenkman makes the save.  Loade chases Jenkman from the ring.  Locke hits a belly-to-back suplex and tags in Loade. Locke measures Scantz up and drops a closed fist.   Loade sets up Scantz…and piledrives him.  Cover…1…2…Jenkman again in to make the save.  Jenkman follows with a short lariat on Loade.  Locke in and clotheslines Jenkman over the top rope.  Locke follows.  Scantz climbs to his feet. Loade is up. He opens up the chair…Scantz is thrown into the ropes…Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair! 

Suave: “Right now, the experience of the Raving Rednecks is coming through as they are totally dismantling The Goatbusters.”

The third member of the Goatbusters, Argon, slips in and sends Loade to the corner of the ring.  That allows Scantz enough time to make back to his corner.  Scantz tags Jenkman.  Loade immediately hits a swinging bulldog on Jenkman and drives Jenkman’s face into the mat.  Jenkman back up and chops Loade.  Loade spinning mule kicks Jenkman and sends him staggering to the ropes.  Jenkman tags Scantz.  Loade hits Scantz with the back of his elbow.  Scantz tags Jenkman right back in.  Loade has a chair now.  Chairshot directly to Jenkman’s knee!!  Jenkman is wobbly!  Loade nails the bridging back suplex on Jenkman…1…2…Jenkman kicks out.  He dives for his corner and tags Scantz back in.  Scantz comes in refreshed and nails a spinning headscissors on Loade.  Loade hits him with a back fist.  Locke tagged in by Loade.  Locke with a huge fisherman buster on Scantz.  Locke goes for the cover but Scantz rolls out of the ring.

Suave: “Again, Locke and Loade look as determined and focused as I’ve ever seen them.  The Goatbusters need to regroup.”

Locke slides out and gets caught by Scantz with a back heel kick.  Scantz tries for a vertical facebuster but Locke is able to block it.  Scantz chops Locke.  Locke chops Scantz.  Both men climb back into the ring.  Knifehand chop by Locke.  Scantz makes the tag to Jenkman.  Locke tags Loade in.   Loade executes the guillotine choke on Jenkman. Jenkman gets hit with a running powerslam by Loade.  Now Loade standing. He hits a diving elbow smash. Now Jenkman standing. Loade picks up Jenkman and delivers a bone crunching shoulderbreaker. Loade with a falling splash on Jenkman. Locke into the ring. Locke and Loade picks up Jenkman and plants him with the 4-D Redneck Death Blast Loade sets the chair down on Jenkman…Loade goes up top..Splash onto the chair! Jenkman is hurting! Davey Keels counts. …1 …2 …3

Kimber Marshall and her legs climb into the ring.  Kimber: “The winner at eight minutes and thirty-six seconds- The Raving Rednecks…LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave: “Locke and Loade with a VERY impressive victory over the Goatbusters.  Next week, they will meet Public Utilities for the PCW Television Title.  Huh?  Ladies and gentlemen.  I have just been told that the CEO of PCW Barack Obama has a huge announcement to make concerning PCW’s second show.   It’s coming up right after this.”

….more to come.

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Toby Keith just wrapped up his first ever European tour, where he played nine sold out shows in six different countries.  According to Toby, “The accents are a little different and the food sure isn’t what you get in Oklahoma.  But they say music’s a universal language and the folks we saw sure seemed to be having a good time.  And so did we.  I’m already looking forward to the next one.”  Toby is off for the holidays but he already has some U.S. dates lined up for 2010.