(Anterioarele ”capitole”)

Pe bulevardul Ferdinand, în fața clubului de jazz, oprește limuzină după limuzină. Majordomi îmbrăcați în tunici cu fireturi, înmănușați elegant, deschid portierele la capătul covorului roșu. În toalete de gală, coboară din mașini vipurile lumii noastre și se înșiruie la intrarea în club, făcând semne drăgăstoase către camerele de filmat aflate după cordonul de jandarmi.

- Aia cine-i? întreabă un jurnalist grizonat, cu ochelari cu rame invizibile.

- Care bă, blonda? Aia-i Nuți, ce naiba, nu mai vezi? îi răspunse un altul, deșirat și acneic.

- Nu, mă. Aia ca un cârnat strangulat. Ia uite-o ce duluri are! Și-a mai pus și rochia aia strâmtă, pațachina!

- Alma? Aia-i Președinta Camerei.

- Președinta Cămării, poate vrei să zici! Întuflecă din pricina stressului funcției. Ia uite-o cât e de dolofană! Și ce prezenvativ de piersică sintetică și-a tras pe ea!

- Termină, nu fi … Uite-l și pe Dinu! Ooo! Excelență!.. Ce faceți? Ați venit la expoziție?! strigă el către personajul ce pășea larg spre intrare.

- Mă întâlnesc cu niște amici, să bem o cafea. Pe Felix nu l-ai văzut? se îndreptă, colocvial, impozanta făptură către ziaristul deșirat, dând în laturi blana de la Prada și vădind un smoking violet. În buzunarul de la piept, nelipsita batistă fistichie, așezată cu o neglijență studiată. Cu un gest teatral, ivi încheietura mâinii de sub haină și lăsă pentru câteva secunde vederii tuturor un ceas superb, Constantin Vacheron.

Blitz-urile nu încetau să scânteie în înserarea răcoroasă. Aerul devenise vibrant și concret, ai fi putut să-l tai în felii, dacă te-ai fi gândit. Totul mirosea a parfum, veselie, lipsă de griji, strălucire și nonșalanță.

Pe trotuar își fac apariția patru creaturi jerpelite, în contrast pregnant cu atmosfera generală. Dau să pășească pe covorul roșu, însă doi dintre majordomi îi oprescu gest ferm.

- Dumneavoastră? Unde mergeți? Aici e o manifestare culturală de marcă! Nu puteți intra în halul ăsta!

- Este invitații! răspunse Jim, scotocindu-se în buzunarele jachetei murdare și sfâșiate. Unde am pus la el?… căută nedumerit și în buzunarele adânci până la genunchi ale patalonilor. Poftește! îi băgă el sub nas majordomului celui obraznic o hârtie mototolită de 5 dolari.

- Cred că glumiți, domnu’…

- Hayssam este la mine! Eu pretin cu Dottore! Facut la el donație la campanie mult euro, metru cubic de euro!

- Hayssam! se întoarse Dinu cu jumătate de trup. Ce faci, dom’le? Ce-i cu tine în halul ăsta? îi privi el circumspect.

- Văzut, bre valah puțit! Eu estem bretin la conașul! îl dădu la o parte cu dosul mâinii pe majordom și înaintă. Conu Dinucu… stai sa spuneam. Eu blecat cu balon zburator la egzpediția. Subt acoperit, Negrul Jim, de la roman american. Asta, neghiob mic si cocoșat, care facut figura si bagat la mine la bușcaria, vrut facem adentat. Venit cu șoarece atacat balon și venit fluture de la Gardaresgu și salvat  la ele.

- Băi, ești incoerent rău! Cum să faci un atentat cu șoareci? Șoarecii nu-s zburători! Termină cu prostiile! Delirezi, mon cher!

- Asta nu înțelege, zise dolofanul bărbos, întorcându-se către publicul care se distra răstălmăcind, trunchiind și transmițând informații distorsionate către cei care nu aveau acces direct la discuție. Eu drimit scrisoare. Voi nu pricepe la mine ce vrut să spunem. Îl luă pe Dinu de încheietura cotului și făcu gestul de a-l însoți înăuntru.

- Și cu noi cum rămâne? țipă înalt tânărul cu ochelari, rămas cu companionii lui pe trotuar.

- Voi vine cu vluture. El duce la voi în egzboziția, le aruncă Hayssam, vădit ironic, peste umăr.

- De fapt, noi nici nu vrem să mergem la expoziție… se replie tânărul. Noi vrem să navigăm pe canalele Deltei, acum că pică expediția în balon… Sau mergem pe mare… Tu ce zici, Huck?

- Mi-e frică de mare. Hai mai bine să studiem underground-ul orașului… Să coborâm în tenebrele lui! interveni Tom Sawyer, cu entuziasm.

Șirul de mașini uluitoare continua să oprească și să verse pe mocheta roșie, bridată pe margini cu auriu, toalete și accesorii pe care le poți vedea doar la Cannes. Murmurul general anunța o seară plină de magie. Nevăzut de nimeni, un șoricel cât o brichetă se strecură printre tocurile Christian Louboutin, Valleverde, Betsey Johnson, Gucci, Dino Ventura, Sergio Rossi, Ungaro și, cățărându-se prin blana ale cărei poale ajungeau la covor, se strecură în batista lui Dinu.

(Ce s-a petrecut înainte de asta)

În vis, căderea în gol accelerează pulsul și produce în corpul celui care visează o încordare teribilă. Toate tendoanele se cabrează, nervii devin alerți, plămânii se simt depășiți, sistemele intră în degringoladă. Traian căzu preț de câteva secunde care în vis durară secole.

Se izbi de un corp mare, moale și pufos care atenuă șocul impactului. Căzuse pe un balon zburător. Fâșiile multicolore din care era alcătuită perna rotundă se rotiră ca un caleidoscop.

- Ce se-ntâmplă, frate?! Căzu o piatră din cer? strigă Huck, scoțându-și pentru o clipă trabucul din gură.

- Îmi căzu mie netul, aia se-ntâmplă… îi răspunse un domnișor cam palid ce nu părea să vadă soarele prea des, parcă întremat de aerul rece al înălțimilor cutreierate. Stai să restartez… adăugă el, meșterind ceva pe laptopul Assus EeePC 1101HA SeaShell, pe care-l ținea în brațe.

- Și, așa zdroncăne când îți cade? Mai bine-ți luai un Toshiba de la magazinul ăsta online … Cu 1000 de roni, te făceai om. Așa, umbli cu droanga aia după tine. Îmi mai faci și emoții… Să-mi strici gustul la Havanna asta.  Ai mai dat și o căruță de bani pe el, cred!

- N-am dat niciun ban! L-am câștigat la Concursul Superblog! Niște bani am primit, vrei să spui. Ca preț al moralității mele… Și nu mă mai freca la icre că, uite, nu mai merge nici wirelless-ul!

- Dacă-ți luai Toshiba de la ….

- Da’ lasă-mă naibii în pace! Tu nu vezi că sunt nervos?

- Și tu ești nervos, tinere? rosti o voce răgușită, de sub o prelată ce acoperea o moviliță de cartofi.  Da eu ce să mai zic?

- Da tu cine dracu ești? Cartofi vorbitori, auzi! Doamne apără și păzește!  Dacă stau atâta conectat! … Am început să halucinez! Și acuma mai trebuie s-o consolez și pe Angela… Să vorbesc cu Fawrr, am văzut că se pricepe la din astea… ”Eu ce să-i fac?… Să-i dau niște bani se meargă la mall să facă shopingg. Eu cu blogging-ul, ea cu shopingg-ul”, zâmbi tânărul unui gând numai de el știut.

- Nu e niciun cartof vorbitor, dragă. E un șoarece. A aterizat în balonul nostru, clarifică lucrurile Tom, cu aerul lui atoateștiutor, specific expaților.

- Zis și eu la domnu’ tinar!… Dottore! Uită la mine! Vede?!… Ce face?… Cum prefăcut în el la șoarece? Cine făcut așa civa? FeSeBe făcut? Groaznică estem! se impacientă și Jim, mai mult arab decât negru. Eu plecat ca un domn este, la aieroport și dottore face șoarice… Uecs! Scârbos este! Aduc sărăcie însemnat! Aruncat peste bord! Ajutaaaam la noi! Allaaah, ajută la mine scapat de șoarice! imploră Jim, aruncându-se pe podeaua nacelei.

- Ce-ai bre, că nu-i decât un prăpădit de șoricel!? Ce te-nspămânți așa? E un balaur? Uite, eu îl iau de coadă, mie nu mi-e frică de el, se arătă viteaz Tom Sawyer.

- Nu pune mâna pe maus! Îmi strici setările! Abia am reușit să restabilesc conexiunea! urlă tânărul năvălind peste Tom și dezechilibrând nacela.

Balonul începu să coboare cu o viteză amețitoare. Protagoniști scenei, pironiți, fără să înțeleagă ce se întâmplă, schimbau priviri înfricoșate.

- Trebuie să te repezi tu ca disperatul! își pierdu sărita Tom cel imperturbabil și se răsti la tinerelul care-și pierduse ochelarii din cauza hâțânării vehicolului zburător. Jim, aruncă dracului cartofii ăia! Să  oprim prăbușirea!

- Eu, Jim sub acoperit, zâmbi colegul lor de aventură. Este Yassim acoperit și este Hayssam, cum eu suntem. Astă poate antentat cum făcut. Dottore spețial venit să facut atentat la mine! Urăște la mine deconspirat dottore. Eu zis omorât la el, dar ele … Eu nu arunce cartofii, nu este ce să mâncat. Ajunge ca Cell, la Rusia cazut, ce manânci? Murit de foame, bătut militari ruși, murit??? Conexiune nexam este, nimic colega, zice că nu cunoaște la mine, eu Hayssam. Arunci laptop, nu merge conexiune, doi kilogram face! se repezi Jim la tânărul care apucase strâns de laptop și se așezase deja cu sternul pe el, apărându-l.

- Te-aruncăm pe tine că și-așa ești cel mai gras dintre noi! răcni și Huck și se repezi să-l placheze ca la rugby, la glezne, și să-l aburce peste marginea nacelei.

În timp ce învălmășeala generală de deasupra laptopului prețios punea în pericol real stabilitatea balonului ce cobora vertiginos spre pământ, un fluture uriaș, cu aripi străvezii de un verde strident și cu trup solzos de caiman, prinse între labele-i ca niște rădăcini de arbori, otgoanele de care era legată nacela.

- Șefu!… Trăiți! Am auzit că aveți probleme! Am venit! Am zburat! Am zburat într-o clipită! Vă salvez acușica! Îi salvez și pe ăștia? Șefu! Ordonați, vă rog! rosti fluturele cel grăsun și păros, fluturându-și antenele clăpăuge.

- Salvează-te pe tine, sacadă șoricelul, lingându-și lăbuțele. Auzi, nu știi pe cineva care poate face o vrajă, să mă preschimbe înapoi în Traian? Că m-am săturat de aventură!… rosti acesta, mai mult în scârbă.

- Ba da! Șefu! Să trăiți! Este o șămăniță! Acum a plecat în sud-est, se bâlbâi Fluturele, uitându-se pe navigatorul GPS pe care-l avea prins la încheietura labei stângi din față.

- Atunci, hai să mergem la ea! se însufleți plin de speranță, eliberând aerul din piept, șoricelul cel șpanchiu.

- Și cu ăștia ce facem șefu? Ce dispuneți? Să trăiți!

- Îi luăm și pe ei. Dacă nu cădeam de la nemțălăul ăla din cutie pe balonul lu’ fraierii ăștia, aș fi murit!

- Cum să muriți?! Șefu! Dumneavoastră sunteți nemuritor!!… Trăiți! ripostă, scurgându-se prin aer de umilință, Fluturele, plecându-și capul și fluturând din aripile cleioase ca mătreața-broaștei de pe iaz. Uitați! Am ajuns! strigă el fericit și lăsând nacela ușor, într-un ogor plin de mazăre.

- Și noi ce facem aici? întrebă tânărul blogger, ce-și recuperase ochelarii și și-i potrivea pe nas uitându-se la ciudatele animale și insecte vorbitoare.

- Cum ce facem? Mergem la Expoziție! Uite și afișul! remarcă șoricelul, uitându-se în zare la un panou uriaș cât cele puse de ministressa preferată, cele  cu Land of Choice.

Şi, după ce v-aţi înseninat sufletul, intraţi puţin aici să vedeţi cât e de “groasă”. Vă ziceam mâine, dar m-a luat cu leşin de la stomac…

P R E F A C E

MOST of the adventures recorded in this book really occurred; one or two were experiences of my own, the rest those of boys who were schoolmates of mine. Huck Finn is drawn from life; Tom Sawyer also, but not from an individual–he is a combination of the characteristics of three boys whom I knew, and therefore belongs to the composite order of architecture.

The odd superstitions touched upon were all prevalent among children and slaves in the West at the period of this story–that is to say, thirty or forty years ago.

Although my book is intended mainly for the entertainment of boys and girls, I hope it will not be shunned by men and women on that account, for part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they once were themselves, and of how they felt and thought and talked, and what queer enterprises they sometimes engaged in.

THE AUTHOR.

HARTFORD, 1876.

This song is actually about cocaine and it’s got a solid groove to it. It’s a rare tech house track that’s actually good lol. Hope you enjoy it.
Tom Sawyer – South American (Juan Magan & Josepo Remix)

by Mark Twain

The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or never looked THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for ‘style,’ not service — she could have seen through a pair of stove-lids just as well. She looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but still loud enough for the furniture to hear:

Download The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

285 pages, 1001 Kb, (PDF)

Remember the first chapter of Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer?  Tom meets up with a new kid from the city.  After sizing each other up, trading various insults and lies, they eventually go at it with fists.  When the dust has cleared, Tom has the other kid pinned to the ground and continues to pummel him until he is convinced to “holler ’nuff”.

Well, that’s the way I felt this morning when I got up to another dreary, drizzly day.  My gear is still damp and filthy from riding in that crud the last couple of days, so I hollered ” ‘Nuff!”  and drove the Jeep!

Hopefully, I’ll be back on the bike tomorrow.

God bless…

TW

Tjenare! Har lite låtar  att bjussa på ;D Enjoy

Laidback Luke & Gregor Salto Ft Mavis Acquah – Step By Step (Big Room Mix) Galen!

Mikael Jonasson, Ricky Stone – This Is Acid Mom! (Tom Sawyer Remix)

Trident aka Prok & Fitch vs. Filthy Rich – Squeeze (Original Mix)

Eric Heydenfeld – Living in Berlin (Original Mix)

Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike – Under The Water (Abel Ramos Remix)

Dada Life – Lets Get Bleeped Tonight (Tiesto Remix)

Dr. Kucho! – Chase (Original Mix)

Norman Doray – Tobita (Original Mix)

Beaker

Meep what? Meep!

Do you like Disney’s roadrunner or the lab assistant from the Muppet Show, Beaker? You love to imitate their sounds and/or words? You go to Danvers High School in Massachusetts? Then you’re in trouble, my friend.

Apparently, some students keep saying “meep” around campus (and allegedly disturb class by doing so) at Danvers High School causing the principal, Thomas Murray, to ban the word. He also gave parents an automated call telling them that if their kids are caught uttering the word as a form of disrespect they might get suspended… what? SUSPENDED? Suspended! And who decides if a word is uttered out of disrespect, protest or other reasons?

But don’t think this is enough. Another blogger, Theodora Michaels, wrote an e-mail to all three principals. Both the subject and the body of the e-mail read “meep”. The response will surprise you: “Your E-mail has been forwarded to the Danvers Police Department.” What was her response in her blog? “We can be charged with . . . what, first degree meeping? Yeah, good luck with that.” I love Americans. You don’t have to ridicule them, no, they ridicule themselves. Yes, the school might see this as spamming or an offense to their rules. I call it protest. I followed in her footsteps, but made my e-mail to all three principals a bit longer:

“Dear Principals,

I just read a funny news story about your high school and also how you forwarded an e-mail that consisted of the word “meep” to your police department. What will the charges be? First degree of meeping? Have you ever heard of freedom of speech? If students want to disturb the course of teaching they often have reasons to do so. Maybe you should search for these reasons first (very basic principle of pedagogy, which is taught here: if something goes wrong always search for your own faults first). If they want to they can also change the word or even actions they do.

How happy I am to be a German and to live in Germany and to be educated to become a teacher here. Americans can be so “meep”.

In that sense:

Best meeps, …”

I mean, come on. Ban a word that has absolutely no meaning? And it does not matter what word you use to disturb class. Words can be changed quickly or actions can be changed. A comment on this story says that children might as well drop all their books at 11:45. That will do the trick, too. Murray also said that his intentions of this ban are to show parents how students use social networks: to disturb class. Like students haven’t ever played pranks at school ever in history?! Yeah, right. Read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I doubt that no child ever attempted to copy Tom’s actions afterwards. The difference was that pranks were organized mouth-to-mouth. Today social networks do the job. But is banning really the right thing to do? What will you do if all the students meep the helk out of you one day? Suspend the entire school? Yes, your reputation will soar because of an entire suspended student body, of course… What world are you living in?

For more entertainment go to this link and read through the comments, otherwise:

Have a meeping day

Qui a Latveria, siamo dei ragazzi semplici. Ci piace leggere i fumetti, andare in birreria, limonare duro e andare al cinematografo. Quando qualcuno decide di trasportare su grande schermo le imprese di qualche nostro beniamino, noi siamo più che felici di andare a dare dei soldini a qualche annoiata cassiera. Anche se tutti ci fanno notare che abbiamo una certa età, che siamo laureati, che ormai siamo delle persone quasi rispettabili e che il panettiere del quartiere ci riconosce e ci tiene via il pane nei giorni di festa… insomma, ci siamo capiti… nonostante tutto questo, noi giovani e semplici ragazzi di Latveria, non vediamo l’ora di sederci al buio di una sala per vedere dal vivo, dal vero veramente, ciò che su carta ci ha emozionato per una vita intera… E spesso, quasi sempre, usciamo sconfitti, delusi, arrabbiati che ci viene da sbavare, roteare i pugni vero il cielo, sbarrare gli occhi e urlare “Perché? CRISTO, MA PERCHÉ?”

La redazione è dunque fiera di fare i nomi e i cognomi dei colpevoli dei 15 più orribili crimini contro l’umanità mai commessi in ambito fumettistico-cinematografico. Come ai tempi di Dj X & Maurizio Seimandi, andiamo con ordine, calma e parsimonia: oggi andiamo a scoprire chi c’è dalla posizione 15 alla 13…

15- Superman Returns, Bryan Singer, 2006

Il problema con i film di SuperMan è che gli si fa solo spostare-evitare-aggiustare-modificare oggetti inanimati e mai gli si lascia la libertà mollare due ceffoni. E dire che Supes nella sua carriera fumettistica non si è risparmiato in ceffoni.
Nonstante ciò (Do you know Bizarro? Mongul?…etc) nei film il suo unico grande avversario è sempre e comunque (con dovute ma anche risibili eccezioni) una pietra colorata. Non si parte benissimo.

SuperMan alla fine agisce come una gru blu e rossa. Un film in cui non fa altro che sollevare qualcosa.

I grandi avversari e sfide di SuperMan in SM Returns:

Solleva aerei, globi di metallo e donne in carriera (senza provocare upskirt)!

Naturalmente anche il gran finale del film è costituito da una scena in cui SuperMan solleva qualcosa, in questo caso una Capri di Kryptonite.

Tutto questo senza fare riferimenti all’irritantissime storie sul figlioletto di Superman (mai bambino fu più irritante) e su Lois che si spupazza Ciclope.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Frank Langella

14- X-Men: Conflitto Finale, Brett Ratner, 2006

Mentre Bryan Singer era alle prese con il sollevatore di ferro di cui sopra, le redini del terzo e atteso film sui nostri mutanti prefe di sempre, passa nelle manone tozze di Brett Ratner. Il regista di tanti video di Mariah Carey, colui che ha rovinato la carriera di Jackie Chan in terra americana, ce la mette tutta per girare un film all’altezza dei primi due. Sfortunatamente le ambizioni del film si scontrano e si sfracellano contro una sceneggiatura orribile, attori costretti a dire a fare delle cose che li rendono stupidi (il povero Hank McCoy per esempio qui ne esce malissimo) e un regista che giustamente adesso fa i video per Miley Cirus. Si riesce nella difficile impresa di buttare in vacca tutta, TUTTA, la Saga della Fenice Nera. Il bambino “cura” Cameron Bright fa venire voglia di invadere la Polonia. Unica cosa notevole: l’inseguimento tra la nostra amata Kitty Pride (interpretata da Ellen Page) e il grande Vinnie Jones aka Jaggernaut (il Fenomeno in italiano). Infatti…

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Ian Mckellen

13 – La Leggenda degli Uomini Straordinari, Stephen Norrington, 2003.

Già dal titolo si capiscono un paio di cose: dagli Straordinari Gentiluomini del libro di Moore, siamo passati ai ben più ordinari Uomini Straordinari di Norrington. Per la cronaca, il nome completo di questo straordinario cretino è Stephen Norrington. Che a confronto Stephen Sommers è Otto Preminger. Ci si nasconde dietro a un “liberamente tratto” per non incappare in denunce da parte di Alan Moore . il quale ovviamente si è tenuto lontano da questa mega cazzata – e poter poi fare di testa propria. Con la simpatica conseguenza di aver rovinato uno dei racconti metaletterari più divertenti e intelligenti degli ultimi anni. Oltre ad aver aggiunto ad cazzum due personaggi come Tom Sawyer e Dorian Gray, si brancola nel buio cercando di trovare almeno una storia da raccontare. Con scarsissimi risultati. Sean Connery col toupé ai minimi storici. I soldi per gli effetti speciali devono essere finiti dopo i primi tre giorni di produzione per cui, dopo una sequenza iniziale con almeno un po’ di verve (leggi: qualche esplosione), il resto sembra brutta televisione. Una nota per coloro che hanno curato l’edizione italiana: Graphic Novel non si traduce Novella Grafica (perché io ve lo giuro, nei titoli di testa c’è scritto così…). Dovreste ridarci i soldi. O almeno la decenza di cambiare lavoro.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Sean Connery

Adriano & Fede MC

da série “SI: Sydney Impressiona pelo…”

Pronunciado “Circular Key” (estranho até pros padrões da Língua Inglesa – é, eu sei!), situa-se na Sydney Harbour e é caminho para o famoso Opera House, cartão postal da cidade. Com vários barcos (lá eles são meio de transporte público!) saindo pros mais diversos pontos da baía e muitos restaurantes à beira d’água, o lugar abriga vários eventos durante o ano, incluindo apresentações de artistas aborígenes praticamente todos os dias. Um dos quais, falando nisso, até pediu minha mãe em casamento, HA HA HA!

Embora seja talvez um dos pontos mais badalados da região, aquele pedacinho me encantou de uma maneira peculiar. Ao longo de toda a extensa calçada, existem placas no chão com nomes e informações sobre grandes escritores, como Mark Twain, um escritor americano que lançou clássicos como “As Aventuras de Tom Sawyer” e “O Príncipe e o Mendigo” (The Prince And The Pauper), e Joseph Conrad (de quem já falei aqui). Chamada de “Writers Walk” (Caminho dos Escritores), é muito emocionante. Ainda mais lindo é o texto do Ministro das Artes, na placa que abre a calçada:

“O que somos e como nos vemos evolui-se fundamentalmente da palavra falada e escrita. O Caminho dos Escritores demonstra que esse processo evolucionário continua a canalizar os pensamentos e percepções, as esperanças e os medos dos escritores que conheceram esta cidade e seu povo.”  – A calçada foi dedicada em 13 de Fevereiro de 1991 pelo Honorável Peter Collins, então Ministro das Artes do território de New South Wales.

É, eu sei, tenho sérios problemas mentais, aparentemente. Acho que me apaixonar por uma loja de diários antigos e penas de escrever e depois me encantar por uma calçada cheia de placas sobre grandes escritores é caso de internação, não? ;P 

O quê? Writers Walk.
Onde? Circular Quay, Sydney.
Quando? Em seu caminho para o Opera House.
Pra quê? Uma dose extra de cultura (e de beleza, vai, porque a vista é linda demais!).

Brenda Nepomuceno

Cine nu a auzit de Tom Sawyer?Cine nu a citit cartile despre el si prietenul lui Huckleberry Finn?Cred ca toata lumea…

In caz ca vi s-a facut dor de aventurile am pus aici cartea Tom Sawyer de Mark Twain.

Copilul orfan Tom Sawyer este crescut împreună cu fratele său vitreg Sid de mătuşa Polly în satul „St Petersburg” de pe malul lui Mississippi, denumire fictivă a oraşului natal al autorului Hannibal (Missouri). În roman apare şi Huckleberry Finn, un prieten de-al lui Tom, sau Joe Indianul un răufăcător căutat de autorităţi.

Over the past month or so, I’ve been having a conversation with Iain Gray, Red Hat Vice President of Customer Engagement, about the ways companies engage with communities. I’ve also written a lot lately about common mistakes folks make in developing corporate community strategies (see my two posts about Tom Sawyer community-building here and here and Chris Brogan’s writeup here).

One idea we bounced around for a while was a mashup of community thinking and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. For those of you who slept in with a bad hangover the day you were supposed to learn about Maslow in your intro psych class (damn you, Jagermeister!), here is the Wikipedia summary:

“[Maslow's hierarchy of needs] is often depicted as a pyramid consisting of five levels: the lowest level is associated with physiological needs, while the uppermost level is associated with self-actualization needs, particularly those related to identity and purpose. The higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met. Once an individual has moved upwards to the next level, needs in the lower level will no longer be prioritized. If a lower set of needs is no longer being met, the individual will temporarily re-prioritize those needs by focusing attention on the unfulfilled needs, but will not permanently regress to the lower level.”

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Now granted, the needs of a company are very different than the needs of a human being. At its very basic level, a company has a “physiological” need to make money. If that need is not being met, little else will matter. But in an ironic twist, this basic need to make money can actually hinder the company’s ability to make money if it is not wrapped in a more self-actualized strategy.

To explain what I mean, think about the last annoying salesperson who called or emailed you. Why were you annoyed? Probably because it was very clear to you that the salesperson was badly hiding his basic motivation to make money. He wasn’t talking to you because he valued you– he was talking to your wallet.

Now think about the best recent sales experience you’ve had. Mostly likely, this salesperson was being motivated by a higher purpose, perhaps something as simple as a desire to make you happy. Sometimes the most effective salespeople aren’t even in sales at all– like a friend who tells you about a new album you should buy, for example. Or sites like Trip Advisor, where you can learn about where to go on vacation from other folks like you.

When it comes to community strategy, most companies have trouble finding motivation beyond the simple need to make money– and the communities they interact with can tell.

Yet if you look at the greatest companies out there, you’ll find that they usually have a strong sense of identity and purpose– just like Maslow’s self-actualized people. Read anything by Jim Collins and you’ll see what I mean.

For a recent presentation, Iain developed a chart that looks a lot like the one below. And to embarrass Iain, let’s call it the Gray hierarchy of community needs.

The Gray hierarchy of community needs

Need level 1: Listen to the customer

Many companies don’t engage with community beyond their customers. So the most basic community model at the bottom of the pyramid is asking your customers what they want and then giving it to them. This model has been around for hundreds if not thousands of years. It’s pretty much common sense that a company would listen to its customers– they are your core community, since they are the ones that fulfill the basic corporate need to make money.

So at the bottom of the pyramid, any company that wants to have financial success must listen to its customers well, and then provide stuff that they want.

Need level 2: Listen to the community

More and more companies are now opening the aperture a bit wider than just their customers to include both customers and potential customers. And the new technology of the social media revolution makes this easier and cheaper to do at scale. Two good examples of sites where companies are listening to a community (without regard for how much the community members are actually paying the company, if anything) are My Starbucks Idea and Dell IdeaStorm.

These sites allow Starbucks and Dell to “crowd-source” their research and development efforts. The sites are useful for a simple reason– because there are a critical mass of people out there who care enough about these brands to want to help them do their R&D work for free. If we were all so lucky! Many small companies without critical mass of brand awareness and acceptance would fail miserably with this approach. But it works for the biggest companies because they have the brand strength to bring the community to them.

While this strategy is great for some, it is essentially a Tom Sawyer “paint our fence for us” scenario. And if, like Tom, you can get away with it, good for you. But if you want to build a deeper relationship with a community, you must go further.

Need level 3: Innovate through a community

At this level, a company takes things a step further. Rather than simply grabbing the best ideas from a community and then using them to innovate in their own products and services, the company creates a community that actively participates in the work of innovating.

One classic example highlighted in Eric von Hippel and Stefan Thomke’s HBR article Customers as Innovators: A New Way to Create Value is from what was formerly called GE Plastics. According to the article, GE Plastics allowed it’s customers access to its in-house knowledgebase, then allowed them to conduct their own trial and error experiments on the different types of plastics. This helped both the customers– who saved time and money– and the folks at GE Plastics, who saved themselves the expense of doing research on how the products could be used. Everybody worked together, and everyone won.

Some enterprising firms have taken this a step further, creating “communities for hire” that companies can put to work doing their innovation for them. Iain has done some research into this, and he has identified a few companies, most notably Idea Crossing and Innocentive, that will help organize a community of folks willing to innovate with you.

Idea Crossing helps companies harness the knowledge of academic communities to help them innovate. Innocentive does something similar, but takes it a step further by offering cash rewards from the companies seeking the help. The work attracts a broad range of participants from academics, retired subject matter experts, freelance consultants, scientists, and engineers. How successful has this approach been? Innocentive claims a community of over 180,000 participants working on 1,000 challenges with a total cash reward pool of $22M. Not bad.

Need level 4: Innovate within a community

In my mind, each of these approaches is still missing something that makes the open source community model so powerful: humility.

When it is truly doing things the open source way, a company doesn’t have to be at the center of the community, but instead can be a humble member of a community creating something greater than any one member.

As I’ve said before, I get excited when I see big companies focused not only on what they take from the table, but what they bring to the table. I love to see companies that aren’t afraid to be humble members of communities, rather than building the community around themselves.

The whole perspective changes when a company begins innovating within communities rather than trying to create communities around itself. The focus shifts from being about what the company wants to achieve to what everyone in the community wants to achieve together. There is a greater shared purpose that seems pretty self-actualized to me. I think Maslow would probably give us open source folks a high-five if he saw what was going on.

Plenty of people have written about the power of open source as a development model, and what it can create. But I think the open source way is also a powerful brand and cultural model that can create deep, meaningful connections between the company and the communities in which it participates.

Does this guarantee that a company participating in open source communities will make money? Absolutely not. Gotta take care of the basic physiological needs first before you self-actualize. But it is good to know that by participating in communities the open source way, a company might be on its way to achieving a greater purpose than just making money alone.

5. After last weekend blowout here in Winona where the Warriors won 70-7.  Warriors play on the road for the last time this season in the regular season.  There isn’t much history between these two teams, 3 games in the last 40 years.   But the Warriors are well rested with playing only about the first half of last weekend’s game playing a team that played a tough game vs. Wayne State.

4. The passing game for the Vikings will need to have a huge day.  With Sam Holsen coming off of a record breaking week in receiving yards and Luke Butler being 3^rd in the NSIC in passing efficiency it will be interesting to see how the Warrior secondary counters with a defensive package for them

3. What ever you can do we can do to, Greg Preston having a great season as well and has the Warriors with the 4^th best passing offence in the NSIC, which isn’t what the Warriors are known for.  But the Warriors have more depth in the running game with Simmons and Dewberry holding their own this season.

2. The kicking game, who is going to kicking for the Warriors today?

1. It seems like I say this every week but the Warriors need a 100 yard rushing game from Rayon Simmons.  Having a successful passing game is great but the Warriors do have an outstanding running game, which they have moved away from time to time during games.

5.  Warriors secondary struggled mightily last week to rebound today Crookston doesn’t have a strong offense. So if there are any bombs down the field, look for the secondary to be able to pick the ball

4. Great field position for the Warriors from kickoffs and punts.  The Golden Eagles let teams on average have 26 yards on a return.

3. Monster days for the Warriors offence the Golden Eagles aren’t great at stopping the run or passing.  Warriors are good on both aspects of the offence.  Guys like Rayon Simmons could have over 100 yards rushing and Greg Preston has similar numbers as he has the rest of the season

2. D-Line not giving up any yards on the ground, on average the Golden Eagles have 86 yards per game compared to giving up 2 times that.  Although the Golden Eagles do have Keith McBride who does have 80 yards a game, shut him down the running game for the Golden Eagles is shut down.

1. Winning all aspects of the game, turnover, time of with the ball, defense, offence.  Leave here today playing with a major chip off of your shoulder heading into Auggie next week and back at home two weeks from now.  If the Warriors don’t dominate today there might be some doubt playing in the next two weeks of the season with upper tier teams in the NSIC.

My grandmother has promised me all of her books when she dies. You might think the collection of a former librarian and English teacher–and occasional World Book encyclopedia saleslady–is something to covet, and it’s true there will be some gold amid the heaps of dross. I will happily annex her hardcovers of Little Women and Tom Sawyer, and the set of Childcraft books whose spines when properly aligned form a complex illustration featuring a smiling sun.

But then there will be the insipid Kathleen Norrises, pale romances without a single bodice ripped, and the Gladys Tabers, whose rural ruminations left me cold: Stillmeadow Farm indeed! And there will be many a red-stamped library discard to consider: jacketless, threadbare covers, spines loose and wobbly, torn and crayoned pages. My grandmother used to bring them home for me and my sister. For a brief time she tried to entice us to play in the basement by storing the outcast books down there among the jars of preserves and low-hanging ductwork. My sister cared little for books, and these wretched orphans only abetted her indifference. To my grandmother’s credit, she soon got the message, and the basement “playroom” idea was abandoned.

The other tricky part about this impending legacy is that we already have about a thousand books too many. The narrow hallway of our little house is lined with low shelves, and any room without a bursting shelf nonetheless has at least one toppling book pile. There has never been any overt organizing principle, yet I used to somehow be able to put my hands on anything I needed; there was a subconscious awareness of where things were. Then came the children, and clutter became disorder bordering on chaos (I’m talking to you, A&E’s reality show Hoarders! Please bring your trucks and specialists. I will pretend reluctance for the camera, but in the end you will be permitted to take it all.) 

This summer, my copy of Lydia Davis’s landmark collection Break It Down eluded me completely. It was the day before I had to travel out of state to helm a weeklong writing workshop, and I had it in my head that only Davis’s brilliant short-short story “The Sock” would do as the springboard for my first writing exercise, which would explore the secret life of objects. My rage upon not finding it might have fueled a mighty purge of every book I owned not authored by Lydia Davis, only I had to divert that energy into packing for the trip.

I can chuck my grandmother’s Rush Limbaughs (gifted by my stepfather) with ease and maybe even her Lewis Grizzards, but I know it will be hard to do the heartless culling necessary to keep this inheritance from overwhelming us. For she loves books. Give her one, and watch her librarian’s reverence as she gently primes the spine by easing open the book at the halfway mark, then splitting it into fourths, then eighths. She cannot drive and can barely hear, and she will forget a pot put to boil on the stove, nearly setting the house alight, but her eyes without the cataracts are still pretty good for the close work of reading. It’s what she has left, and when she is gone, the books more than anything will stand in for the life. You don’t toss that out, not even piecemeal.

The Yearling is finished!  I have all sorts of thoughts on it, but they’ll have to wait: an elementary school Friday awaits me, so I must gird my loins for the day.

Just wanted to share my triumph of finally finishing!  Onto Tom Sawyer–and more tomorrow for the readathon!

5.  The Warriors have led the all-time series with the Wildcats 11-2 prior to last year the Warriors beat the Wildcats 11 times in the a row.

4. Stopping Silas Fluellen who is the best quarter back in the history of the Wayne State Football program.  Fluellen also leads the NSIC and is 5^th in D2 in total offense at 326.6 yards per game.

3. Run. Run. Run. The Clock.  Warriors must and I mean must eat up as much game clock as possible.  Keep the Wildcat offence off the field.

2.  Covering Logan Masters for the Wildcats be leads nearly receiving category for Wayne State as well and leads the NSIC in receptions per game.  Warriors should know he is going to be a target.  Cover him.

1. Winning the turnover battle, Wayne State has given the ball up more than they have taken it away.  Take advantage of those turnovers and get extra points up on the board.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post called Tom Sawyer, whitewashing fences, and building communities online, where I outlined one of the biggest mistakes I see companies make when figuring out their community strategy– they expect a mythical “community” will paint their fence for them. But not everyone is Tom Sawyer.

If your community strategy starts with the question, “how can I make the community work for me?” you may still find success if there are a bunch of people out there willing to paint your fence for free, but you definitely are not taking advantage of all of the benefits you can get from participating in communities.

One of the most often used examples of customer/community-driven innovation (perhaps because it is simple to understand) is the My Starbucks Idea site. This is a place where customers can tell Starbucks what they want, people vote on each others’ ideas, and Starbucks takes the best ideas and uses them to make their products, services, and experience better.

A recent example of a service that was launched through the site is a mini Starbucks drink card that can fit on your key chain. Sweet. It looks like they’ve had at least 5-10 innovations like this that have come from customer ideas, maybe more. And Starbucks is not alone– many companies have built similar sites, as has The White House. You’ve seen them.

But this approach is still simple Tom Sawyer-style community-building. People just helping Starbucks paint their fence for free. So why is it working for Starbucks? Because there are people out there willing to spend their time and energy helping Starbucks make their products, services, and experience better. Not every brand can command this sort of attention and loyalty. Most can’t, in fact.

My view? I do think these sort of public idea generation efforts are smart 21st century thinking when they work. But why stop there?

I get excited when I see big companies focused not only on what they take from the table, but what they bring to the table. I love to see companies that aren’t afraid to be humble members of communities, rather than building the community around themselves.

When I talk about Red Hat to folks outside the software industry, I often get asked questions like “How big is the Red Hat community?” My answer is always the same:

It’s not our community.

Red Hat is a member of and active participant in many communities. Some of them we even lead. But when we are at our best, we don’t try to own communities, we try to be valuable contributors in them (and, as Chris Brogan has pointed out, in is the key word).

How can your company be a valuable participant in a community? Some ideas to get you thinking:

What can my company bring to the table?

• Funding?
• People?
• Good ideas?
• Powerful endorsement?
• Wider attention?

I’ve been most proud of Red Hat when I’ve seen us pitch in with one of these things. Sometimes it means we acquire a company with great technology and then open source the code. Sometimes we put a lot of our contributors on a community project we think really matters. Sometimes we simply put our brand behind an effort we find meaningful or useful.

Do not confuse this with corporate philanthropy. As a publicly-traded company, Red Hat is not a contributor just for the good vibes we get when we give as much as we take. We need happy shareholders, and investors look for companies with business strategies that can deliver results.

I think being a valuable community citizen is a key part of a successful open source business strategy, and I hope Red Hat is proof that good community citizenship, when practiced consistently over a long period of time, can help deliver those business results.

Gosh! I am taking ages to complete the book I am reading, and so I have resorted to stealing interesting memes from off the internet to fill up my blog. This one is taken from Eve’s Alexandria, which she in turn seems to have taken from somebody else

The idea is to list the books that most shaped your reading life as a child and young adult year by year, or by spans of years.

So, down memory lane I go thinking of all the great and not-so great books that influenced me through the years…

Ages 6-8
I think the Noddy series by Enid Blyton did the trick for me. I was obsessed with Noddy and his friends. I used to often escape into my dream world where I played with my imaginary friends – Noddy, and Tessie Bear, and Wobbly Man, and Inspector Plod, and Big Ears, and Bumpy Dog, and my god who else have I missed. Now, I am getting to relive those days with my daughter who also seems to have a liking for Noddy

Ages 8-10

Again Enid Blyton ruled. She was my favorite author. I devoured her Famous Five, Mallory Towers, and St.Claire’s series of books. Just like Eve, these books made me dream of going to boarding school. I remember my mom threatening to send me to boarding school when I was behaving badly, and being utterly taken aback when I ecstatically responded YES,YES,YES!

I also drooled over her descriptions of food – jammy buns, buttery scones…all these sounded so appetizing for my taste buds that seemed to be always getting boring idlis and dosas. She also inspired me with the idea of having midnight feasts with all my friends and young relatives.

Ages 10-12

This was the age when I started to delve into classics. I was a tomboy at heart (still am), and Treasure Island, Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn really sparked my imagination.

I did also read Pride and Prejudice, but I must say didn’t really get too much out of it. It was only when I reread it many years later, that I could appreciate it for what it is.

This was also the phase of gothic thrillers and horrors. There was a dramatization of The Woman in White on TV at the time and seeing that prompted me to read and enjoy both The Woman in White and The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins. I also enjoyed Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre by the Bronte sisters.

Agatha Christie also stormed into my life, and I read every book of hers many times over. I still do, there is something so wonderful about her books. Even knowing the identity of the murderer does not spoil my pleasure in re-reading.

In summary, this was a great book-reading phase thanks in part to a neighbor who indulged my love of reading, and often lent me a lot of books from his own personal collection of classics. I even read some Russian authors, and enjoyed Crime and Punishment, which I am quite surprised at now.

Ages 14-16

This is rather a dark period in my reading history. Spent more time focusing on my studies and not too much on books. I remember a friend stealthily lending me The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon, and that was my introduction to the big bad adult world of books where sex was explicitly mentioned. I rapidly read the rest of his books, and I must say they were quite instructive

I also started reading Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, and The Three Investigators series of books – primarily because I did not have much choice, and that these books were the ones stocked in my local library (which was pathetic to say the least). Of all the three, I remember liking The Three Investigators best.

This was also the time of Harlequin Romances and Mills n Boon. Barbara Cartland also makes an appearance. But, I think the less said about these the better.

Ages 16-18

By this time, I was fed up of modern-day romances and teenage detectives. I upped my reading slightly to Jean Plaidy’s historicals (I loved the Tudor and the deMedici books), Victoria Holt’s gothic romances, and Georgette Heyer’s regency comedies.

I also started having access to the internet and reading a lot of reviews on books that I would not normally read. The Hobbit was one such book. I picked it up after having heard some interesting stuff on the web, and that was my introduction to the wonderful world of fantasy. I also picked up Asimov’s Foundation, and I fell in love with his very rational style of writing – something that I had not been exposed to earlier. Science fiction and fantasy were then added to my reading lists.

Looking back, I don’t know quite what to make of my list. It seems that at each stage of my life, my reading has reflected the person I was then. There is a lot of variety in this list – partly because I read anything and everything that was available (did I mention my lending library was pathetic), but also, I think it reflects the person I am – constantly searching for something new. And I think that’s still me – because my reading list is pretty varied even now, I think.

All in all, this post was one I really enjoyed posting. Looking back at my idyllic childhood and teenage years was really fun. I might even go back and reread quite a few of these books mentioned here. Hopefully, I will recapture some of the awe and wonder I felt when I first read them.

I am also looking forward to enjoying and guiding my daughter’s path through the world of books. Hopefully, she will enjoy reading as much as I do. It’s too early to tell, right now

Well, that’s enough rambling from me folks. Would you like to tell me about some childhood reading memories? I would love to hear back from you.

Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.  Here are mine: (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
1. Romeo and Juliet (nope I don’t care if it’s a play either. It’s still inspirational and sticks with you. For that matter almost any Shakespeare.)
2. Edgar Allen Poe (Tale Tale Heart)
3. Fahrenheit 451
4. Animal Farm (Thanks to my eight grade teach for this and the one above)
5. Beowulf
6. Canterbury Tales (Yes I love Chaucer)
7. Servant of the Bones (Anne Rice)
8. What ever was the first book of Kathy Reicht’s – I’ve read them all pick one
9. chicken little (no rules say they can’t be children’s books)
10. Dear Mr. Henshaw (Beverly Clearly)
11. The Good Earth (Pearly S Buckly)
12. Tom Sawyer (Mark Twain)
13. The Richest Man in Babylon (George S. Clason)
14. Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens)
15. Scary Tales to Tell in the Dark (Alvin Schwartz) I own the triology

I got this from a friend on Facebook but I enjoyed looking at everyones answers so much that I thought I’d try it over here.  I also thought of Phantom Tollbooth after the fact but still a good one.  If you can’t think of 15 just give me what you got.

Winona State played an outstanding homecoming game yesterday.  They got their rushing game back on track, the special teams played a much larger role and the defense made plays when they had to.

Greg Preston had a great bounce-back performance after last week against Mankato and had three touchdown passes yesterday and made crucial throws when the Warriors needed a big first down.  Preston went 13-18 with no turnovers and also tossed three touchdowns, two of which were to Sean Hertz.  The third touchdown pass was a screen pass to Rayon Simmons that he took 60 yards to the house.

The Warriors had a spread rushing attack including 67 yards from Rayon Simmons, 54 yards from Greg Preston and 43 yards from Curtis Dewberry.  A few more from Theo Burkett and the Warriors netted 17o yards on the ground.

Simmons ended up with 3 total touchdowns with 1 receiving and two on the ground.  It was very important to see the Warriors rushing attack get back on track.

Southwest Minnesota State had a very impressive offensive performance including a great show by quarterback Ryan Ratekin.  He ended up with 323 yards and 4 touchdowns.  However, Ratekin turned the ball over twice via the interception in crucial moments in the football game.

The Mustangs are a very good football team and this was a very impressive win for the Winona State Warriors on homecoming Saturday.  The Warriors go on the road next weekend to Upper Iowa in a very winnable game, but one that Winona State cannot look passed because the Peacocks gave Wayne State a game in Nebraska yesterday.

Go Warriors!

Homecoming 2009

Mark this as another year where the weather was cool and rainy on homecoming.  This was my second homecoming game in the booth for the Warriors this year was a bit different, last year I was doing the play by play for the game for the student radio station KQAL.  For this year still the same station but our station is now the official voice for all athletics and I am filling in the roll as the Warrior Game Day host and producer for the football season.  I am not going to lie there was better turnout to the game than I expected with the student section filled up.  The temp at kickoff was 48 degrees and we were competing with the Badgers-Gophers game.

As expected this was a high scoring game and the Warriors were able to put up a quick touchdown in the first minutes of the game.  Moving ahead in the game the Warriors had chances to close the door on this game but to the Mustangs credit they kept on moving the ball and scoring when it mattered the most.  But two missed extra points by Lance Schuveiller hindered the Mustangs on their last drive where they were down by 8.  Had they made those points that last drive would have been different where at touchdown could win the game rather than score a touchdown and hope for the two point conversion and go to overtime.  Warriors would win on homecoming 41-33.  Greg Preston had 198 yards in the air with 3 touchdowns, no interceptions which was key for the Warriors.  The rushing game was a bit different where was more plays having the QB option for Preston who prior to this game had only 75 yards in 25 attempts.  In this game Preston had 9 attempts and 54 yards.  This took away for some yardage from Rayon Simmons and Curtis Dewberry but Simmons got a touchdown from a 60 yard pass from Preston and Dewberry nearly ran back a kickoff but game the coaches a scare after the tackle were he was on the ground holding his knee delaying the game for a few minutes forcing Coach Tom Sawyer to walk over to see how he was doing.  By the time Coach Sawyer made his way over Dewberry was up and ran off to the sideline leaving the question on how the knee was really doing.  It will be interesting to see what happens later in the week if Dewberry will get much practice time he did return to the game though.  Overall this was a good game and the Warriors will move onto Upper Iowa a team that game Wayne State a scare so Warriors can not look past this upcoming game.

For more here are this Sounds of the Game (Warriors vs. Mustangs)