Making An Impact

With Billy James

Welcome to “Making An Impact” review for TNA Impact Wrestling. I’m Simply Sensational Billy James with the fallout from Impact Wrestling. It’s the big night as it’s the wedding of Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray. Will the wedding go off any problems? Will Hulk Hogan walk his daughter Brooke down the aisle? Also we’re coming off of the Genesis PPV which saw Jeff Hardy retain the TNA World Heavyweight title pinning both Bobby Roode and Austin Aries. What will Roode and Aries have to say about their loss at Genesis? Christopher Daniels is now the Number #1 Contender for the TNA title when Daniels defeated “The Cowboy” James Storm at Genesis. What will Daniels have to say about now being the Number #1? And tonight we will find get a TNA contract as we will find out the fate of the Gut Check contestants; Brian Cage and Jay Bradley. Who will get the the TNA contract? So let’s get started by asking yourself this one question? “Are you ready to feel the Impact?”

Matches

Jeff Hardy & “The Cowboy” James Storm defeat Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels & Kazarian)

Kenny King pins Christian York

Jay Bradley win a TNA contract

Velvet Sky pins Gail Kim to become the Number #1 Contender for the TNA Knockouts title

NOTE: This week’s review is going be different as I won’t be doing “No Impact” and “High Impact” became this week’s Impact Wrestling was mostly about the Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray’s wedding. So I’m going to first talk about the wrestling part and then give my thoughts on the wedding.

Wrestling Part

I was surprised when I heard Daniels beat Storm at Genesis specially after it was announced that the winner of the match would become the Number #1 Contender for the TNA title. So when Hardy came out to talk about his big win at Genesis, so it was perfect for Daniels to come out with Kazarian and confront Hardy. Of course Storm came down to the ring to help out Hardy when Bad Influence attacked Hardy lead to a tag team match between the four men. The match was damn good with high pace action with Storm being the one to take most of the beat down during the match. I thought that the drop kick Hardy hit on Kazarian as Kazarian was coming into the ring. Toward the end of the match, the action really picked up with Hardy hitting a wicked Twist of Fate on Kazarian to get the win. I like the fact that Daniels sent a message to Hardy when Daniels hit Angel’s Wings on Hardy on top of Hardy’s custom championship belt. I think that this was a smart move on TNA’s part as it makes you want to see Daniels vs. Hardy next week of the TNA title. I have to say that this was the best match of night even with there only being three matches on the show.

The Kenny King vs. Christian York match was interesting as York showed lot of aggressive which was good to see. York kept countering King’s moves and had that crowd behind him. I like it when York slipped out of King’s attempt at the “Royal Flush” The match itself was short with King getting the cheap win by raking York’s eyes and pulling York’s tights. I’m expecting for King to beat Rob Van Dam for the X Division and then feud with York over the title.

Gut Check was interesting as TNA had Bruce Prichard eliminate one of the contestants without Taz or Al snow having a say. I thought TNA made the right choice with Jay Bradley as I think that Bradley is a better fit for TNA. Bradley’s promo was good and got his point across without being too “Heelish” I thought that it was weird that Taz said “No” without giving a reason but later in the show it made sense.

I’m glad that TNA gave a logical reason as to why we were seeing Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky for Number #1 Contendership for the TNA Knockouts title. The match was good but not great as the action seemed to slow down in certain parts of the match. I thought Gail was excellent during this match trying to pick up the action. I thought that the arguing between Gail and the referee; Taryn Terrell was good and leads me to believe that TNA might be setting up a feud between the two. Velvet had some good spots during the match including a variation of In Yo’ Face! Followed by In Yo’ Face! for the win. Now Velvet faces Tara next week for the Knockouts title.

I’m really starting to like the pairing of Bobby Roode and Austin Aries as a possible team. This segment tonight pretty much confirm that TNA is putting Roode and Aries together as a tag team. I thought that Aries made a good point during the segment when he said that TNA has went back 10 years with its current champions which Aries makes a great point that lot of TNA Haters on the internet complain about. When Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez came down to the ring to confront Roode and Aries I pretty much knew that TNA is setting a feud between Roode\Aries and Guerrero\Hernandez involving the TNA Tag Team. I expect to see the payoff match between these four in March at Lockdown.

The Wedding

Ok, let me start off with negative parts of the wedding starting with the two Hulk Hogan\Sting segments. TNA wasted two segments getting Hogan to say whether he would walk his daughter down the aisle. This could have been done in one five minute segment and the rest of the time could have been given to a match. The Brooke Hogan\Dixie Carter segment was so boring that those two almost make Hulk Hogan and Sting look like Shakespearean actors. Way too much time was given for the wedding and backstage segments which could have given us one more match.

Now what I did like about the wedding was seeing Brother Runt AKA Spike Dudley and Tommy Dreamer which I know my good buddy; John Mayer was really marking out. I was surprised that TNA got Tommy Dreamer since Dreamer in the WWE about a month ago. I have to say that those were three of the hottest bride maids that I have ever seen in a wrestling wedding that being Brooke Tessmacher, Mickie James and Christy Hemme. But the best part of the whole wedding was the fact that it wasn’t Hulk Hogan who objected to the wedding but Taz. And on top of that Taz revealed that he’s now a member of “Aces & Eights” and “Aces & Eights” attacking Hulk Hogan and Bully Ray while Mike Knoxx and Doc forcing Brooke Hogan to watch.

Show Rating: 6 ½

Final Thoughts

Ok, this Impact Wrestling could have been a lot worst then what it was considering who was involved in this wedding. I will say that it was disappointing that we only got three matches but at least the matches were good. I liked the fact that TNA used logical setting these matches up tonight which was refreshing to see. They gave a logical reason for having Velvet Sky face Gail Kim and also for the Kenny King vs. Christian York. Now I’ve have read on the Internet already about people bitching about Taz being the leader of “Aces & Eights” which I don’t get their logical because I don’t remember Taz being revealed as the leader of “Aces & Eights” Besides that by having Taz being revealed as a member of “Aces & Eights” it makes you wonder why Taz turned on TNA. All in all, it wasn’t bad show. Hopefully TNA will follow up on the Taz angle and the other angles that was setup in tonight’s show.

Stars of the Night: Jeff Hardy, “The Cowboy” James Storm, Christopher Daniels & Kazarian

Well, that’s it for this week’s Making An Impact. Don’t forget to check the weekly Wrestling Debate Podcast with myself and John Mayer. Also you can email me with questions or comments at wrestlingdebate@hotmail.com. And check me out at http://www.facebook.com/wrestlingdebate.

They’re tacky, over-the-top and never go according to plan.

Yep. They’re pro wrestling weddings. You can rag on TNA that this may have been their dumbest idea yet to pair Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan for the sake of holy matrimony, but it did one other thing: it reeled in the casual viewer.

We’ll see in time how that decision played out, but headed into the show, all we could expect were the sounds of wedding bells.

The Breakdown:

- Video opener focused on Sting’s revenge on Aces and Eights, Hulk Hogan’s suspension of Bully Ray, how Aces and Eights took out Kurt Angle and the never-ending tensions between Hulk and Bully Ray that culminated in the infamous marriage proposal. Oh, we’re all cordially invited to the wedding. How awesome.

- Earlier in the day, Ray hung up his tuxedo. Spike Dudley and Tommy Dreamer greeted him. Brooke had Christy Hemme, Miss Tesmacher and Mickie James as her bridesmaids. She was unsure if her Dad would come to the wedding.

- Jeff Hardy came to the rig. He said the odds were stacked against him at Genesis and that “the creatures” prevailed again. He put over Bobby Roode and Austin Aries, but he was still Champion. A “We Are Creatures” chant broke out. Funny. He said he fought for the people and wanted to continue. Bad Influence’s music hit. Kazarian said Christopher Daniels would bring the fight to Hardy and take the TNA World Title in a week. Daniels said he thought Hardy wasn’t the bragging kind, but he himself could brag that he was the “Thursday Night Delight” and beat A.J. Styles and James Storm without help from “the creatures,” who he called losers like Styles, Storm and Hardy. He said the fans would have permission to worship him after he beat Hardy. Hardy attacked them both and was outnumbered. Storm made the save. He challenged Bad Influence to a match against him and Hardy. Good segment that started things off. Bad influence was thrust right into the spotlight and it helped hype the big Daniels/Hardy match next week. Strange that there was no immediate response from Aries or Roode.

- James Storm/Jeff Hardy def. Bad Influence: Storm struggled as Bad influence dominated the early going. Once he made the hot tag, the tables turned. Storm took out Daniels on the outside. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate on Kazarian and got the pin. After the match, Daniels attacked Hardy and hit the Angel’s Wings right on the Title. Good heat-gainer.

- Joseph Park gave Bully Ray Cuban cigars and questioned him about a pre-nup. Ray threw him out.

- The Gut Check Judges discussed the Jay Bradley/Brian Cage match. Prichard praised the second-rope superplex. They were split. Prichard wanted to vote but the other two didn’t.

- Gut Check contract time. Both competitors came to the ring. Cage was eliminated. It came down to Bradley. Taz said no. Bardley cut a promo and said he strived to be the best, did it in one match and trended on Twitter. Al Snow said yes. Bradley mocked the crowd and Prichard said yes, which meant Bradley got a contract. He’s unique, so no complaints.

- A highlight video aired of the Christian York/Kenny King match from Genises. York dived onto  King early on on the outside.

- Kenny King def. Christian York: Way too short. King won with a pin and a handful of tights.

- Backstage, Bully Ray begged Sting to talk to Hulk Hogan so that he’d walk his daughter down the aisle. Sting said Ray meant a lot to him and would do it.

- Austin Aries and Bobby Roode once again bickered backstage about their attire and said they had problems with what was about to happen.

- Hulk Hogan arrived backstage and ignored questions that regarded Brooke and told the reporter to find something else to do.

- Dreamer asked Ray about Hulk Hogan. Ray said Brooke was a wreck and wanted he father there and left to put his tux on.

- A video highighted the wedding storyline. Sting made his entrance and called out Hulk Hogan. Hogan came out and told Sting to cut it and that they both had people tell them they loved them just to leave later on. Sting responded that Ray had saved him, Hulk and Brooke many times. Hulk said people everywhere told him not to trust Ray and he didn’t like Ray’s look in his eye. Sting said Hulk needed to do it for his daughter and encouraged a “Do it” chant from the crowd. Hulk retorted back that he always did the right thing and stormed off.

- Backstage, Gail Kim showed Referee Taryn Terrell the footage of her missng the foot under the rope at Genesis. Taryn said she understood and promised the rematch would be called down the middle.

- Knockout s Championship #1 Contender’s Match- Velvet Sky def. Gail Kim: Okay match. They played off what happened at Genesis. Kim hit the Eat Defeat and made the cover, but Sky’s foot was under the rope. Kim tried to bully Taryn over the call. Sky made her comeback and hit her finisher and emerged victorious.

- Backstage, Dixie Carter congratulated Brooke and said she was proud of her.

- The wedding was supposed to start when Roode and Aries came out. They vented that they were two of the greatest wrestlers and there’d be no show without them. He said the lack of respect they received created a mutual respect between them. They objected to the wedding. Out came Hernandez and Chavo Guerrero Jr. who said they also objected, but not to the wedding, rather their comments. Aries and Roode made jokes that Hernandez and Guerrero were caterers and the Tag Champs fought them. Hernandez was about to give Aries a Powerbomb when Roode saved him. Decent segment at best. Sort of a mess, but at least we saw where the Aries/Roode duo is going.

- Hulk and Sting sat at a table backstage. He said he tried to protect Brooke all his life and knew how this movie ended. Sting said he agreed with Hulk, but questioned how good Hulk protected her in that she saw something in Bully that Hulk didn’t. Sting said Hulk was wrong about Bully and that he needed to walk Brooke down. Hulk said he had a long day but always did the right thing for business and the family.

- Now it was reception time. Everybody walked down to the ring, completely ropeless by the way. They really went all out for this. Hulk Hogan walked Brooke down the aisle and the crowd popped. Brooke and Ray exchanged vows. Brooke said she could feel safe with Ray and couldn’t imagine life without him. Ray said Brooke didn’t deserve words on paper but rather from his heart. He said he was a different, happy person around Brooke and wanted to make her happy. The Priest asked for objections. There were none. The Priest asked for the rings and was about to pronounce them Husband and Wife. Tazz stopped and asked Ray if he really wanted to do this and said it was hot in the room. He took off his suit to reveal an Aces and Eights vest. The rest of the group attacked Ray and everyone else. D.O.C. held Brooke hostage as Hulk was laid out and Ray was hit with a planter. End of show.

Final Thoughts: Obviously a big swerve with Tazz’s reveal, but it felt contradictory. He revealed himself as a member when it was expressed with great importance in the past that all members stood unidentified. You have to question where they go with this, but it seems like we’ll see a lot more of the Bully/Brooke couple.

From  The  IMPACT  Zone  at  Universal  Studios  Orlando  in  Orlando,  Florida:

Hosted by  Todd  Keneley,  ”The  Professor”  Mike  Tenay  and  Taz.

This  week  opened  with  TNA  World  Heavyweight  Champion  Jeff  Hardy  being  welcomed  by  cheers  of  ”You  still  got  it!”,  after  his  successful  title  defense  at  Genesis.  But,  ”The  Fallen  Angel”  Christopher  Daniels  and  Kazarian  ruin  everything,  and  get  challenged  by  Hardy!  Daniels  and  Kazarian  attack,  and  ”Cowboy”  James  Storm  arrives,  runs  them off,  and  challenges  the  both  of  them  to  a  tag  match.  So…..

1.  TAG  TEAM  MATCH:  TNA  World  Heavyweight  Champion  Jeff  Hardy  and  ”Cowboy”  James  Storm  vs.  ”The  Fallen  Angel”  Christopher  Daniels  and  Kazarian.

THE  WINNERS:  JEFF  HARDY  AND  ”COWBOY”  JAMES  STORM!!!

2.  TNA  GUT  CHECK:  The  Fates  of  Jay  Bradley  and  Brian  Cage.

Last  week  on  Impact,  there  were  two  young  up-and-coming  wrestlers  in  the  ring.

THE  JUDGES:  Bruce  Pritchard,  Al  Snow  and  Taz.

THE  VERDICT  ON  BRIAN  CAGE:  NO.

All  three  judges  declared  a  unanimous  no  on  Brian  Cage.

AS  FOR  JAY  BRADLEY:  HE  IS  NOW  A  NEW  MEMBER  OF  TNA  WRESTLING!!!!!!!!!

HOW  THE  JUDGES  VOTED:  Bruce  Pritchard:  Yes.    Al  Snow:   Yes.    Taz:  No.

3.  Christian  York  vs.  Kenny  King.

THE  WINNER:  KENNY  KING. 

“The  Icon”  Sting  urged  TNA  General  Manager  Hulk  Hogan  to  put  aside  his  feelings  about  Bully  Ray,  and  to  be  there  for  his  daughter  Brooke’s  wedding.

4.  A  KNOCKOUTS  MATCH:  Gail  Kim  vs.  Velvet  Sky.

THE  WINNER:  VELVET  SKY!!!

Before  the  wedding  began,  Bobby  Roode  and  Austin  Aries  arrived,  and  stated  that  people  should  be  celebrating  how  great  they  were  during  their  reigns  as    TNA  World  Heavyweight  Champions.  They  both  objected  to  the wedding  of  Bully  Ray  and  Brooke  Hogan.  While  they  ranted,  TNA  World  Tag  Team  Champions  Hernandez  and  Chavo  Guerrero,  Jr.  arrived,  and  had  no  objections  to  the  wedding,  but  towards  the  complaints  of  Roode  and  Aries.  Both  men  insulted  the  Latino  heritage  of  the  tag  champions,  and  the  champions  laughed  it  off,  but  then  attacked  Roode  and  Aries.  As  Hernandez  was  about  use  his  Border  Toss  finisher  on  Aries,  Roode  pulled  him  out  and  they  both  escaped.

5.  THE  WEDDING  OF  BULLY  RAY  AND  BROOKE  HOGAN.

BULLY’S  GROOMSMEN:  Tommy  Dreamer,  Brother  Runt  a.k.a  Spike  Dudley  and  Taz  (Start  chanting  ”ECW”  now!!!!!!).

BROOKE’S  BRIDESMAIDS:  Miss  Tessmacher,  Mickey  James  and  Christy  Hemme.

Hulk  walked  down  the  aisle  with  Brooke!!!!!!

After  Brooke  and  Bully  exchanged  rings  and  when  the  minister  was  ready  to  finish,  Taz  interrupted  him  and  asked  Bully,  ”Do  you  really  want  to  go through  with  this?’.  Bully  responds  with  ”Yes”,  and  Taz  asks  everyone,  ”Is  it  hot  in  here?”,  and  takes  off  his  tuxedo  coat  revealing  a  leather  vest  with  the  Aces  and  Eights  logo  on  it!!!!!!  Aces  and  Eights  then  charge  the  ring  and  attack  Hulk,  Bully,  Runt  and  Dreamer  while  D.O.C.  and  Mike  Knox  hold  back  Brooke  while  D.O.C.  asks  her,  ”Who’s  your  daddy  now  Brooke?!  Who’s  your  daddy  now?!”.

Matches  1  and  4  are  the  highlight  matches  of  the  night!!!!!!!!!

The  returns  of  both  Brother  Runt  and Tommy  Dreamer  were  the  highlight  moments  of  the  night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANALYSIS:  The  difference  between  this  and  WWE  Monday  Night  RAW’S  20th   Anniversary  Show  was  that  two  stars  of  the  past  were  invited   show  up.

Ten thoughts on the Monday 17th episode of RAW

1. Who the fuck are the faces on this show?

2. Ryblack is really short

3. Dreamer’s still hardcore

4. #ShutTheFuckUpLawler

5. Ryback de-push is lol-ing worldwide

6. How do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder?

7. Mmmmeeeeeeeean

8. Wooooooooooooooooooooo

9. Bahgawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd

10. Gene!

Final Resolution and TLC

Man, shit was tough over the past month. Even CB, the guy who loves everything, was posting shit like “I will stand this no more, motherfuckers, the line must be drawn!”.

With real life giving us tropical storms, floods, school shootings and various other horrible things, WWE and TNA really needed to provide us with an entertaining distraction. TNA provided us with Daniels vs AJ XXXVIII and Bully Ray fucking Brooke Hogan. WWE’s TLC featured some good booking. That Ziggler win? That Shield win? That Sheamus loss? Best PPV since the last time I said “best PPV”.

Year-end awards thingy

I have an apology to make: The following is lifted almost 100% from Gojira’s end of year thingy that absolutely nobody read or commented on.

Wait, what?

Alright, maybe he got a few comments.

41?

Damn.

I got shot in the face one time, got like 2 comments…

In any case, it’s the end of the year and 2012, for better or worse, was 12 months. Last year, Gojira presented The Biggest Hiccups of 2011, so logically it’s time once again for a meaningless award show. Besides, the pointless Slammys have already taken place.

This time, however, Gojira was focusing on multiple categories. It’s certainly more ambitious and he’s actually quite proud of what he cobbled together, so you’d better cast your votes this year in his comments section! His awards are WWE-only, since he rarely watches TNA (but he follows all the reports), I, on the other hand, hate both promotions equally.

Best New Superstar: Chavo Guerrero

This young Chavo guy, where the fuck did he come from? Would you believe he’s actually related to Eddie? Its not like Tenay told me that either, I had to google for hours just to find out.

For those of you that watch other shows than Impact, you might have seen this rising star on Ring Ka King back at the start of the year. It’s truly amazing that TNA managed to find such a talented individual as this and pluck him out of obscurity. Chavo had an astonishing debut and has went on to win the TNA Tag Team Title with some other guy they threw together because TNA are racist morons, but don’t let that put you off. I predict big things in this young man’s future

Match of the Year: Melina Vs Alicia Fox

ALL YEARS!

Workhorse of the Year: Sheamus

Sheamus won the Royal Rumble back in January  and was thrust into the main event scene about two months (and 8 matches against Jinder Mahal) later. Many believe in the Celtic Warrior so much that they’ve even went on record calling him “the next Cena”. One former Pulse columnist even went as far as saying “He’s been consistent since WrestleMania”. Indeed, Fella looked incredibly strong after his win within 18 seconds that night, and he’s been fantastic in the opening 18 seconds of every match since.

Most Entertaining Angle:
Kurt (with Karen coming in a close second)

This was a tough one, but Karen has been off our screens for quite some time. If Eric puts enough work in, he might find himself winning the award in 2013.

Biggest Disappointment: WWE Legends House

The plan was to have a Real World kind of show featuring crazy wrestlers from yesteryear. When the WWE Network was shelved, so was the show. SyFy were all set to air it at the start of April, but the program pulled a Scott Hall and now nobody will get to see Piper screaming about burnt waffles.

Biggest Surprise: The Ryback not smashing a car window with his elbow

With the NWO Shield all up in his business the past few weeks, we really should have seen this by now.

The “Not-So-Creative” Award: The Ryback

Brodus Clay made his début on the January 9^th episode of RAW, squashing whoever the fuck WWE decided to put him in the ring with.

Lord Tensai made his début on the April 2^nd episode of RAW, squashing whoever the fuck WWE decided to put him in the ring with.

The Ryback made his début on the April 6^th episode of Smackdown, but nobody was watching, so we’ll call it April 9^th instead.

Pattern, motherfucker, do you see it?

Book a new guy in a squash match again, motherfucker, I double-dare ya!

So after doing the same thing as the other two for a few months, he went on to repeat other events and eventually whole storylines. He was last seen losing 3 PPVs in a row.

So those are the winners for the 2012 Goji Whatever I’m Calling This Awards. Vote for your choices in the comments below and I’ll get some shit from Goj for ripping him off wholesale. Ah, the joys of Gojira stretching out a one-note column to two weeks worth of work. Gotta love the holidays!

So long, and thanks thanks for reading this pish.

The next segment on the shot was the TNA Gut Check challenge which is pretty interesting and it’s what separates them from the WWE. They basically have two guys wrestle in the ring one week and they decide the next week who gets to face the judges where they will decide if he gets a contract or not. So, Jay Bradley was the man they chose to face the judges and the rule is it has to be unanimous decision from the judges, if you do you get the contract. Tazz immediately gave Jay Bradley a no, but after 30 seconds on the mic, Both Al Snow and Bruce Pritchard gave him the yes he needed for a contract.The next match was a rematch from Genesis that saw Christian York take on Kenny King. York won the match at Genesis, but before he was about to take on RVD, he was attacked from behind by King. Before King could come in the ring, he was immediately attacked by York, who brought the pain using the audience barricade and steel steps to his advantage. Any time King wanted to change the momentum, York was able to counter with spinning heel kicks, etc. York tried to finish off King with his own finisher, but King countered with a roll up and a hand full of the tights for the win.

The next segment was all about Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray’s wedding that was happening tonight. We’ve already seen that Spike Dudley and Tommy Dreamer were guests for the wedding. Sting called out Hogan and asked him for Bully, if Hulk Hogan would walk Brooke down the aisle for the wedding. Hulk never gave a straight answer, but he said that he always does the right thing. The next match was another rematch from Genesis between Gail Kim and Velvet Sky. Gail Kim felt screwed at Genesis after former Playboy model and TNA ref Taryn Terell failed to see that he foot broke the plain of the ropes. Gail Kim was in control for most of the match nailing some big clotheslines and using the ropes as a weapon. She made sure that every time something happened that she reminded Taryn to do her job. After she hit Velvet with the eat the feet, she went for the pin, but at the last moment, Velvet’s foot broke the plain and Taryn stopped the count. Gail was distracted yelling at Taryn and that is when Velvet took over hitting some big clotheslines and a head scissors take down before hitting the In Your Face for the win. Velvet is still the number one contender.

The wedding was up next and the question of the night being whether Hulk was going to do the right thing and walk his daughter down the aisle. Miss Tessmacher walked down the aisle with Tommy Dreamer, Hardcore Country Mickie James walked down with Spike Dudley, and Christy Hemme walked down with Tazz. When we came back from commercial, Brooke came out by herself at first, looking back to see if Daddy was coming. All of a sudden out of nowhere, he did came out. Everything was going smoothly as they were exhanging their vows when out of nowhere, Tazz interrupted them both as they were giving the I do’s only to reveal he was a member of Aces & Eights.  Then out of nowhere they were attacked by every member of Aces & Eights there was. I had a feeling that was going to happen.

First off, Alberto Del Rio beating Big Show in a last man standing match to win the World Heavyweight Championship. This is a big deal for a number of reasons, first off for a major title changing hands on a taped show. WWE had to spoil it themselves to get ahead of all the bloggers that would post it after taping on Tuesday. This was a smart move and probably drew more people to Smackdown that normal. Hell I almost watched it live myself. Second, this changes the whole outlook of the title scene. It has to be assumed that there will be a rematch at the Royal Rumble, and Ziggler is much more likely to take it from Del Rio than Big Show. This also creates the opportunity for Wade Barrett or (more likely) Randy Orton after a heel turn to challenge for the belt. We’ve run out of logical challenges to Big Show. Third, and most importantly, the match was really good. Show put Del Rio through a table early on. Del Rio applied the cross arm breaker while being dangled outside the ring by Show. Show got drop kicked into a table. Lots of good spots and the crowd was into it. Del Rio got hit with every move Show had and each time he got up the crowd went nuts. Then when Alberto started throwing the steel steps at Show repeatedly the crowd got louder each time (helped by Ricardo cheerleading). Del Rio pushing the announce table on top of Show was the finisher, and with Rey Mysterio out again and Sin Cara unable to get over, Del Rio is firmly established as the number one latino face of the WWE.

The other news from last week is that after 100 episodes, Zack Ryder will no longer be doing the Z! True Long Island Story. It says a lot about how Ryder feels things are going with his character and the WWE. He has not been shy about making his opinions public, and it certainly hasn’t helped him move ahead in the company. The only thing that really kept him relevant was his web show, which is what got him pushed in the first place. After the WWE took control of the show however, it became much more of a drag to produce, and Ryder began to hate doing it. So now that it’s done, how does he get attention again? He’s been the dope from Long Island for a while now. Perhaps it is time for a makeover. Maybe even a heel turn. He certainly has enough to be angry about. It was a pretty epic finale if I do say so myself.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to Raw.

What did they do to you?

Things started off with a montage off all the previous show opens (except for the current one oddly enough), and Vince McMahon in the ring. He essentially kisses his own ass for being smart enough to start Monday Night Raw. Then he goes through the lineup for tonight’s show, featuring John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler (again?) in a steel cage match (okay fine) and a rock concert from the Rock. Again, Rock is repeating the same act over and over. Soon after the announcements, Big Show comes out to complain about losing his title last week. McMahon makes Show address him as Mr. McMahon and Big Show essentially is a neutered version of his former self. Vince makes fun of him by saying he looks like he lost weight (referring to the belt) and calling up the footage of him losing. For whatever reason, Big Show just takes it. What happened to his iron clad contract where he can do whatever he wants? Big Show says he was put in a match he wasn’t ready for, and that Booker T is jealous of Show, and wants to push Del Rio to the Latino community (at least that part is true). Show suggests that Del Rio is stripped of his title, which brings out the new champion. He comes out without a car, wearing the colors of the Mexican flag in place of his traditional black and gold. Kinda lame. We know he’s Mexican, we don’t need it shoved in our face. Del Rio challenges Show to a match for the title on Raw, but Big Show refuses because he is not ready for a match. Alberto tells him to show some cojones (that means balls!) for once and accept. Big Show says he is not going to waste his rematch now, and suggests the Royal Rumble instead. Del Rio calls Show a fat jackass (in spanish) and a “SI” chant gets going. Ricardo then pulls a page from the Harlem Globetrotter’s playbook, throwing a bucket of confetti that Big Show thought was water. Show then goes after Ricardo and gets kicked out of the ring by Del Rio (Alberto pulling off a hurricarrana on Show will be forgotten from this). If Show takes the title back in two weeks forget everything I said at the top of this recap.

The first match of the night puts Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett against Randy Orton. Still waiting on that Orton heel turn and now there are rumors that he will be taking time off soon for a personal matter (not wellness related). Orton has been feuding a little with Cesaro too, because it’s impossible to keep the US and IC titles from being connected somehow. It’s all Orton early, with Randy hitting a back body drop outside the ring onto the guard rail padding. Back in the ring for a moment, Barrett is then clotheslined outside again. Wade doesn’t show any offense until they come back from commercial but it’s little more than head locks. Finally he gets some real offense going, hitting the high boot with Orton tangled in the ropes. It doesn’t last long though as Randy turns the match back in his favor, hitting his signature moves including the second rope DDT. However Barrett gets out of the RKO and lands a bull hammer elbow to knock out Orton and take the match. A surprising finish for sure and a sign that Orton’s vacation is definitely coming. He just lost clean to the IC champ. Meanwhile, the Barrett push continues.

Backstage Booker T and Teddy Long informed Eve that after last week’s match, there has been a stipulation to her Divas’ Championship match against Kaitlyn. Now Eve will lose the title if she gets counted out or disqualified. Eve starts flirting with Booker to get out of it but Booker just laughs in her face and walks away. Teddy laughs at her as well and gets slapped in the face. Poor Teddy. Eve is another performer that is supposed to be leaving for a while. In all likelihood she’ll drop the title and leave the Divas division in even worse shape than it already is.

On to the anger management reevaluation with Kane, Bryan and Dr. Shelby! Kane and Bryan agree to lie in order to get it over with. When asked what they like about each other, Bryan says he likes that Kane is tall, can set things on fire somehow, and is a good dancer. Kane says Bryan is agile, has a great beard and is not afraid to admit that he wears women’s clothing (Bryan almost lost it but kept composure). Shelby then brings in the Rhodes Scholars to try to trigger their anger. The idea is to have Kane and Bryan not attack when they are provoked. Sandow and Rhodes keep critiquing Shelby’s methods, finally saying they would be better off with Dr. Phil. Shelby then loses it, telling Kane and Bryan to attack them. The three of them start screaming YES and we have a very fitting (albeit not nearly as funny) conclusion to the anger management sessions.

Back in the ring Kane and Sandow square off in one on one action. Kane rolls early, hitting the sidewalk slam and going to the top rope before Sandow leaves the ring to avoid it. Damien then takes over with his typical rapid offense. I love Sandow’s offense. He isn’t fast but he strikes hard and fast. He fights how a regular person would fight. Just keeps coming at you. Anyway Kane catches him jumping off the top rope and gets chokeslams Sandow for the win. The two teams will meet for the Tag Team Championships at the Royal Rumble and I have to think Team Rhodes Scholars will walk away with the hardware. I’m a little surprised they aren’t saving that match for another time, putting them all in the rumble instead.

Three random guys that don’t need to team up for any reason

After the match some news we already knew was going to happen was publicly announced. Mick Foley will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. Foley is in the house to address the crowd but is quickly cut off by the Shield. Before they can attack Ryback comes down the ramp and attacks them. He throws out Ambrose and Rollins and meat hook clotheslines Reigns but the numbers are too great. Orton comes out to help and is shortly followed by Sheamus to even the odds. Ryback hits Abrose with Shell Shocked and the Shield retreats. I know it’s not going to happen, but having one of them win the rumble would be a big deal. Josh Matthews interviews Ryback in the ring. HOT DAMN DID HIS EYE GET BAD AGAIN. What does Ryback do to his face? He’s disgusting. Anyway he is sick of the Shield interfering in his matches so now he wants payback. This should have happened after the first two times Ryback was robbed. He gets a “Feed Me Shield” chant going and we can expect Ryback to team with Orton and Sheamus against the Shield in the near future. Hopefully when his eye is healed.

So long, Eve

Time for Eve and Kaitlyn for the Divas Championship. Is it me or does Kaitlyn kind of look like Seth Rollins? After going back and forth for a bit, Kaitlyn goes into beast mode and starts shoulder blocking her into oblivion. She can’t get a three count however and Eve hits her finisher (Cross Rhodes?) but Kaitlyn kicks out on two and a half. Kaitlyn then hits her finisher but Eve rolls out of the ring. Kaitlyn goes out to get her but gets thrown over the barrier. Eve goes back into the ring so the ref can start the 10 count, but Kaitlyn runs back in while Eve isn’t looking. Eve looks toward the barrier waiting for the ref to count, giving Kaitlyn the opening to spear her and win the Divas Championship. Pretty good match. If I had to guess I’d say Kaitlyn and Tamina start a program next. They are the most physically gifted women on the roster and could have some good matches. They aren’t that hot though so we’ll probably see Layla and AJ instead.

Backstage, Brodus Clay is pissed that CM Punk called him out last week for being forced to shuck and jive for the fans. Clay said he does it because he wants to and that the pipe bomb is going to blow up in Punk’s face or something. Whatever he said, he was all business and it was a nice change. He’s too much of a beast to be smiling all the time. Anyway he’s in the ring to face Punk and is all smiles again. Not expecting a long match. Clay goes on the attack early with big blows, forcing Punk to exit and regroup. Clay manhandles Punk until CM gets a boot up on Clay running into the corner. A springboard clothesline gets Clay down and Punk is in control. He even does the Junkyard Dog dance in the ring to taunt him. Brodus catches Punk with a headbutt but misses again on the splash in corner. Punk then connects on the elbow from the top rope and applies the Anaconda Vice for the submission win. Better and more competitive match than I expected. After some more mock dancing, Punk says he came out to do what he does, and later the Rock will do whatever it is that he does. He says all the fans are all entitled to their opinions, but they can’t deny the fact that he has been the champion for 421 days, and that it is a fact that Rock will not leave the Royal Rumble as WWE Champion and that he is the best in the world. Much shorter than last week but still a very effective promo. There were no “Cookie Puss” chants, incase you were wondering.

Backstage the Rock is talking to Mick Foley, doing some shtick congratulating Foley into the Hall of Fame. Vickie Guerrero butts in to tell them to quiet down during her show, and adds that Foley doesn’t deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. Rock decides not to say anything now, and tells Foley to wait for his concert.

Up next, Sheamus is in some over the top rope challenge thing against 3MB. The object is just to throw the opponent over the top rope, which Sheamus did already last week. The crowd is pretty dead as 3MB teams up on Sheamus. Sheamus can only get momentum for so long before getting beaten down again. It’s like a poor man’s version of Shield against Ryback. Slater and McIntyre hold Sheamus up as Mahal gets on the top rope, but Sheamus pushes them into Jinder and he falls out. Drew then gets thrown out as well and it’s down to Sheamus and Heath Slater. Sheamus goes over the top rope but stays on the edge of the ring. He tries to fight his way back in but McIntyre and Mahal pull him down to eliminate Sheamus and give 3MB the win. McIntyre puts Slater on his shoulders to celebrate, but then Sheamus comes in. He kicks Drew’s leg to bring him to his knees, and then Brogue Kick’s Slater off McIntyre’s shoulders (roughly the same height as Big Show). Drew gets a Brogue Kick as well.

John Cena said some random crap about past Raws, his losing, and Threes Company before saying he’s going to win his match. That wasted roughly 60 seconds of my life.

Speaking of wasting time, here comes a Miz TV segment. His guest is Ric Flair so there is some hope here. Flair talks a little about his retirement celebration on Raw after his retirement match during WrestleMania and how he’s looking forward to Ryback beating Shield. Miz and Flair then get into a WOO off before Miz cues a montage of popular catch phrases from Raw’s history. They have been going through different montages throughout the show, showing all the moments you would normally think of along with some others you haven’t. Miz then gets Flair to go into his full “jet flying, kiss stealing” routine but gets cut off by Cesaro, who says Flair and Miz embody America as a failed reality star and a legend who blew all the money he made trying to maintain the illusion of past greatness. Cesaro has the American flag as tights which is fantastic. He says Flair is worth nothing now and says the Four Horsemen sign is only good for referring to his four ex-wives now. Miz challenges Cesaro to a fight in Flair’s defense, but Cesaro declines and starts to leave. Flair then pulls him back and delivers some chops before Miz hits the skill crushing finale. Flair then has Miz apply the figure four as Flair starts elbow dropping the suit jackets that ended up on the mat. Very strange but also pretty entertaining. Especially for Miz TV.

Uhhhhh, okay.

Daniel Bryan now out to most likely lose to Cody Rhodes since Kane beat Sandow earlier. Before the match starts, Cody looks in a mirror and brushes his mustache. Can we consider that jumping the shark? Rhodes immediately attacks Daniel’s knee that he “hurt” last week, and Bryan sells it like he is being amputated. Cody stands over Bryan to taunt to crowd but Bryan pulls him down by the arm and applies the NO Lock in the middle of the ring, getting Rhodes to submit. Once again, I’m wrong. Don’t be surprised if that knee costs Team Hell No at the Royal Rumble though.

Meanwhile Eve made her departure official, telling Matt Striker that the WWE is against her. From Zack Ryder stalking her, John Cena humiliating her and Kaitlyn accusing her of sabotaging her title shot, she doesn’t need this anymore. She says she wants her own reality show and quits the WWE. So long Eve. I don’t know how long she’ll be gone for, but she’ll be missed.

AJ hosted a segment backstage going through famous weddings in Raw history while Big E looked like he wanted to blow his brains out. The last clip was of AJ’s wedding with Daniel Bryan where she was named Raw GM. This sent her into a fit of rage toward John Cena, who she blames for ruining her career. Dolph Ziggler stepped in the console her and talk about how he is going to prove to the world and specifically Cena how good he really is.

How does this work?

Jim Ross takes Michael Cole’s place to call the main event steel cage match between John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler tries to run out of the cage door almost immediately after the bell rings, then tries climbing out on the other side only to be pulled back by Cena both times. Following an initial charge by Cena, Ziggler hits a dropkick and takes control, throwing John into the cage, hitting a couple of neck breakers and escaping an Attitude Adjustment to hit another one. Cena then sling shots Dolph into the cage, but Ziggler catches himself on the cage and starts climbing up. John pulls him down and tries climbing up himself, leading to both men being taken down. During the break, Cena was about to escape the cage but Langston was outside the ring pushing Cena back up so that Ziggler can pull him back in (kind of ridiculous when Cena could just let go and drop onto him but whatever). With both Cena and Ziggler standing on the top rope, Dolph hits a standing dropkick sending them both back to the mat. Dolph takes his time delivering punches and Cena takes advantage with the five moves of doom. Ziggler escapes the AA to try climbing up the cage, gets pulled down by his tights revealing his bare butt (to the audible joy of the women in attendance), only to escape the move again and hit a superkick for a two count. Ziggler crawls toward the door and gets a hand on the floor but Cena gets over the pull him back in. Langston grabs Ziggler’s arm however to try to pull Ziggler out and we have a human game of tug of war. Cena wins and applies the STF, but Ziggler quickly rolls over and locks a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring. Cena powers his way up and starts climbing up the cage with Dolph on his back. John finally falls off the top rope, taking them both down. Cena then looks like he’s going to escape through the door but Big E slams it in his face. Ziggler then goes for the door (after blatantly hearing Cena tell him to) and Cena tries climbing over the cage right near the door. Cena gets over first and kicks the door in Dolph’s face, but Langston is there again forcing Cena back up with a steel chair. When Cena gets back to the mat Dolph hits him with a Zig Zag but only gets a two count (because it takes 8 finishers to beat Cena apparently). Cena pulls Dolph down from the top of the cage again but with Cena on the top turnbuckle, Ziggler hits a jumping DDT (big pop) but again only gets a 2 count. This sends AJ off the deep end (can you blame her?) and she climbs to the top of the cage. This distracts the ref so that Big E can come in with the MITB briefcase. Cena attacks Langston and the case goes to Ziggler, who tries to hit John with it but Cena ducks under and Big E gets hit instead. Cena hits Ziggler with the AA and wins via pinfall (apparently 1 Attitude Adjustment is better than 10 finishers from anyone else). Both men deliver again in a fantastic match but this SuperCena stuff is just ridiculous. PPVs are one thing but can he at least be human on basic cable?

What a shocker

The big finish for the night is of course the Rock concert. It’s exactly what you think it would be like. A heartbreak hotel parody where he calls Paul Heyman a fat woman. He then called out Vickie Guerrero to sing a parody of “Wonderful Tonight” where is says “No biotch, you look horrible tonight” and dresses like a cheap hooker. Rock then calls out CM Punk, who shows up with Paul Heyman. Rocks says Heyman has “twinkie tits” (that might actually catch on for a minute), that Punk is not “god” as Punk referred to himself last week, and that Punk will lose at the Royal Rumble. This pushes Punk to run down the ramp and get into a brawl with Rock. A bunch of officials have to come out to separate them and that’s how the show ends. I was worried the concert part would be a lot longer but thankfully it was relatively brief.

The main question I have is what happened to all the surprise guests? No Michaels, no Undertaker, no Austin, no Triple H. Medusa wasn’t even there. It’s not that it was a bad show. It just didn’t have that big event feel aside from the main event. It was a quality episode of Raw. I just expected a little more than that.

The opening montage is all over the Rock versus Punk hype, doing a rundown of the last few weeks of drama surrounding Punk’s knee and who Rock will face at the Royal Rumble. Yet the show opens with John Cena running down the ramp to promote the Punk/Ryback match and the Rock. Basically everything I said in the opening paragraph. Thankfully Dolph Ziggler comes out with AJ and Big E to interject. Lost in all of AJ’s bitching and calling Cena a “small man” is referring to Dolph as “Ziggy.” Cena responds by starting a wave before bringing up how he dumped crap on them and challenges Ziggler to a match right now. Dolph says no but all of a sudden Big E grabs the mic! Langston proves why he hadn’t spoken until now by sounding like a stuttering preacher and accepts the challenge for Dolph (actually he just said “it’s on!”). So now Dolph is pissed and doesn’t want to go to the ring, but his music come on and apparently that means he automatically has to go down the ramp. Good to know that’s all you need to get someone to come down the ramp.

So now Dolph versus Cena is actually happening! The one thing about the rumble event is that it takes up almost the entire roster, so big matches like this can happen without spoiling anything at the pay per view. Highlight of the match early on is Cena holding Dolph up in a standing suplex position for roughly ten seconds before dropping him. Yup, Cena is strong. Dolph does a little more showing off than he normally does (which is saying a lot) and gets burned for it both times. First the sit ups which turns into a pin attempt, then he danced around a downed Cena only to be thrown into the corner. Throughout the match Langston and AJ interfere until they finally get caught by the ref and are ejected from ringside. Ziggler then countered a 5 knuckle shuffle into a fame-asser for a 2 count, then after succumbing to the shuffle, Ziggler escaped an AA and hit a Zig Zag for another two count. Dolph then misses a superkick but escapes the STF, hitting a jumping DDT for another two count. Ziggler is essentially hitting him with every move he’s got. Ziggler goes for a cross body splash off the top rope but Cena catches him and tries for the AA, but Ziggler escapes and again and hits the super kick but still can’t get a three count. This is just ridiculous. Next Dolph applies a sleeper hold and starts to bring Cena down (just like Ricardo did on Christmas Eve) but John throws Ziggler off him and into the referee, knocking him out. Cena applies the STF on Dolph but there is no referee (Dolph doesn’t tap anyway). Langston comes out and hits Cena with the Big End and a second referee comes down the ramp but again Cena kicks out on 2. Out of nowhere Cena then hits Ziggler with an AA and gets the win. Fantastic match but the ending is just ridiculous. Ziggler had almost all of the offense but one big move finishes him. Meanwhile Cena took finishers from Ziggler and Langston but it’s not enough. There is no justice.

Ricardo drops Cena with a sleeper hold two weeks ago but Ziggler can’t? AW HELL NAH!

The next match puts the Divas Title on the line, as Eve defends against Kaitlyn. Eve chose Mae Young to face last week, but she gave birth to Hornswaggle instead (yup) and Kaitlyn started a cat fight instead. So now she gets a title shot. Whatever. It’s more of the same cat fight style wrestling. Back in the attitude era these matches only happened when the ring was replaced by a pool of jello or something. In the ring they actually wrestled. Kaitlyn has enough, hitting a side slam and a shoulder block to get Eve on the ropes. Eve then escapes Kaitlyn’s finisher and escapes the ring entirely, getting herself counted out to keep her championship. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble.

Backstage Santino is kissing up to Ricky Steamboat until Wade Barrett steps it, saying that he will make the Intercontinental Championship mean something which neither of them could do. Steamboat decides to stand in Santino’s corner. Cut to Matt Striker interviewing Randy Orton, who says he will win the rumble before being interrupted by 3MB who says that one of them will win the rumble. Orton then decides that he will face Heath Slater tonight. They have nothing for Orton to do right now besides feud with 3MB? That heel turn better happen real soon.

Kane and Daniel Bryan in the ring squaring off against the Rhodes Scholars in a non title match. We’re getting to a point with all of these fueds where everything is established and we’ve seen everyone face everyone already, so there isn’t much new to talk about. All parties are doing fine. It’s exactly as you expect. At least until Cody Rhodes and his mustache yelled “you are a goat face” and Bryan before hitting him with an elbow. After the rumble we can expect a whole new set of programs to get into gear, so this stale rivalry period is expected. Kane gets a hot tag and cleans house, but Sandow (the legal man) left the ring when Kane had him set up for the choke slam. Daniel Bryan comes back in and attempts his back flip off the top turnbuckle but tweaks his knee (in the match) and the Rhodes Scholars take advantage. Kane took Sandow down outside the ring, but Cody Rhodes hit Bryan with the Cross Rhodes to get the victory by pinfall. The stage is set for their championship match, most likely taking place at the Royal Rumble.

Finally the Randy Orton/3MB feud comes to a head as Randy takes on Heath Slater. Orton dominates early but Slater slows things down, taking control briefly and even hitting his jumping neck breaker (reverse RKO) for a two count. Heath then goes to the top rope only to be superplexed by Orton. Randy beats away the other members of 3MB before hitting the 2nd rope DDT and an RKO (that was definitely not “out of nowhere” as Cole said) to win the match. McIntyre and Mahal come in to try ambushing Orton but Randy fights them off again with a couple more RKO’s. Just Orton being Orton.

Wade Barrett set to take on Santino and I’ll be damned if Steamboat didn’t do the Santino walk down the ramp with him. It’s all Barrett until Santino escapes a pump handle slam and hits a super kick before going into his routine. He pulls out the cobra sock but Wade leaves the ring, drawing Santino near the rope where Wade pulls his throat down on the top rope, hitting the Bull Hammer to win the match. Steamboat tends to his fallen friend as Barrett set up to hit Ricky from behind. Ricky turns before he could strike and Steamboat takes off his blazer, ready to fight. Barrett exits and we have not seen the last of this story. Wade Barrett versus Ricky Steamboat next week?

(Pointless segment where Sheamus talks trash to 3MB happens that I can’t think of a single thing to write about it.)

How cool is Cesaro?

Miz on commentary as United States Champion Antonio Cesaro comes out waving the American flag for his match against Khali. Khali, with both Hornswaggle and Natalya in his corner, slaps Cesaro a couple of time before Antonio takes his leg out. The Punjobber has a whole crew with him now. Anything to make him interesting. Miz calls Cesaro a weenie and calls him an old man. Face Miz just comes off as so lame. After another outburst of offense from Khali, Cesaro springboards into Khali with an uppercut and then hits the Neutralizer on Khali to get the win! Cesaro is really good. He barks at Miz and they will certainly face each other at some point in the future.

Backstage Brad Maddox is still trying to get Paul Heyman to help him get a WWE contract, suggesting that he can referee the match. Heyman chews him out, telling him not to talk to Vickie Guerrero or CM Punk and to get out of his face. That’s getting interesting.

I guess I found the point of the Sheamus 3MB segment because he is now facing Jinder Mahal. Sheamus smacks him around for a while and the only offense Mahal provides is a weird hold where he is essentially grabbing Sheamus’ arse (that’s what Sheamus said anyway). McIntyre distracts Sheamus long enough for Jinder to hit him with a high knee and get some more legitimate offense. Sheamus fights back of course, dragging Slater into the ring and then clotheslining both Slater and Mahal out of the ring. Sheamus then Brougue Kicks McIntyre and Slate, then hits Mahal with White Noise and another Brogue Kick to win the match decisively. I wonder who Drew McIntyre will lose to tonight. 3MB is getting a lot of air time to start 2013.

CM Punk defends his WWE Championship against Ryback to start the third hour of the show. Before the match, there is a montage similar to what you’d get on a PPV show. They might as well. This match has been in the making for a couple of months now. Punk kinda goes nuts on his way down the ramp, pulling a ladder out to go under and throwing a chair toward the ring. They start with Ryback overpowering Punk and kicking him out of the ring, with Punk incorporating a chair to even things out a little. Eventually Ryback then gets Punk back in the ring and asks the crowd to choose whether he slams Punk onto a chair or a ladder. He does this while holding Punk up for a suplex. Very cool. He ten tries the slam the steel steps on Punk but he rolls away and runs up them for a jumping kick. Punk then starts working on Ryback with a chair. It sucks that this match has to be interrupted by a commercial break. They come back with Ryback hitting Punk with an electric chair to take him down from the ladder. The whole match is spots. Punk puts Ryback’s foot in a chair a jumps off the top tope to try to injure it, but Ryback moves away and Punk tweaks his knee landing (uh oh). Ryback immediately takes advantage and takes him down with a meathook clothesline. Punk wiggles out of Shell Shock though and gets out of the ring. Toward a table Ryback put up earlier. Ryback goes to spear Punk but Punk moves and Ryback goes right through the table, taking him out. Punk gets back in the ring and tries to climb the ladder. Ryback meets him up there and knocks him off, Punk then pushes the ladder over but Ryback jumps off before it hits that mat, then slams Punk into the ladder. He tries to do it again but Punk wiggles out and kicks him in the head. Punk gets Ryback in the corner and tries the running bulldog, but Ryback lifts Punk over the top rope through a table outside the ring. This match has been pretty bad ass.

Now here’s is the big finish. Punk is outside the ring and not moving. Ryback gets a ladder propped up and climbs to the top. He is just about the grab the title when the lights go out. When they come back on Ambrose and Rollins are on the ladder trying to knock him down. He fights them both off but Reigns pulls him down by the legs. Ryback then throws all three members of Shield out of the ring and against goes to the top of the ladder but the Shield attacks Punk again with a ladder. The building is buzzing big time. Shield powerbombs Ryback through a table on top of the steel steps and leaves the arena. With Ryback out of commission, Punk now gets up and crawls up the ladder, grabs his WWE Championship and wins the match. Great match but yet another predictable ending.

That table can be found in Ikea’s “As Is” section

Backstage Striker goes to interview Punk but Punk cuts him off, again saying that he doesn’t have any affiliation with Brad Maddox or the Shield. He then says that before the Rock gets in the ring, he is going to talk to the crowd first and drop a pipe bomb (uh oh). Cut to Daniel Bryan icing his knee, blaming Kane for not having his back or something. They blame each other for losing the team Rhodes Scholars, getting into a good old fashioned “YES” “NO” argument until Vickie Guerrero comes in to inform them that they are due for their four month mental evaluation with none other than Dr. Shelby (WOOO!). They then argue over whether or not Shelby is a monster or a nerd and I can’t wait for next week’s sessions.

The last match of the night puts Kofi Kingston against Big Show in a non title match. Kofi jumps at Show and gets him in the corner trying to get an edge on him, the ref tries to separate them and in the process, Show decks Kofi with a Knock Out Punch, putting down Kingston and winning the match in about 20 seconds. Anyway…

He tastes victory

Punk gets in the ring to address the crowd. He wipes blood off his hand and removes the WWE flag from the microphone. He says everyone has misunderstood the meaning of the pipe bomb which is honesty. He says the perception of him over the last year is wrong and that everything he said was true except for the part about ice cream because they are fat enough already (burn!). He says he created his rebel anti-hero persona to cash in because it doesn’t matter if you’re the best performer or best talker or anything else because no one it only matter how popular you are in the WWE. That is why John Cena keeps getting title shots and why Daniel Bryan, a fantastic wrestler, has to become a catch phrase saying goofball (now we’re getting somewhere). It’s why Brodus Clay, a leather monster, dances around with children and why Lil’ Jimmy is more well known than Tyson Kidd (really getting somewhere now). The crowd reacts and Punk says they’re playing right into his hands. The WWE is just a circus to entertain the fans and no one has maintained any success without them until CM Punk. He calls himself the greatest champion of all time, not just he modern era (he adds that that’s something they probably want to put on a t-shirt because it’s all about selling t-shirts). He says he would have been champion over Bruno Sammartino in that era because he only had to wrestle once a month at MSG. Hulk Hogan never had to wrestle in TLC matches. Punk says his year has had enough grueling matches on both free TV and PPV to equal 30 of theirs, and that he is successful in spite of the fans. That unlike every other wrestler he doesn’t lie about doing everything for the fans. He calls out Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels and Edge for doing just that, making them either weak or dishonest. Punk on the other hand is neither because he doesn’t care about the fans. He is just the best in the world. A member of the stage crew tells Punk they do to go to commercial, but Punk says they’ll go to break when he wants to go to break. He then says the Rock is going to come out in a minute but before he does he tells them that they do not matter, and continues talking as they go to break.

Absolutely brilliant promo. He made points that I had been thinking for a while regarding the other eras and the current schedule. He pointed out the nature of what the current talent has to do to get over and what comes with that. More importantly he attacked the fans in a way that hasn’t been done before. He made an entire case against the people, which is the very entity that the Rock says he fights for. What this also does is set the bar very high for the Rock. This isn’t John Cena just talking about how he will fight and how much he loves the WWE. CM Punk cuts a lot deeper. He can’t just say he’s going to kick his monkey ass. When they come back from break Punk is still talking about how he is the best and that regardless of who is put in front of him he will remain the champion a year from now. He says he beat the system when he won the championship because it was against what the crowd wanted.

Punk starts calling the crowd losers when the Rock finally (no pun intended) makes his entrance. He is absolutely jacked. If he was a regular member of the roster he’d definitely be a part of the wellness program. Rock says that after listening to Punk he sees that he is delusional, and that in 20 days his reign as champion is over. He says Punk didn’t reject the fans, the fans rejected him. After saying Punk failed to get ice cream for the fans Rock gets the fans to chant cookie puss at Punk, telling him that they will follow him for the rest of his career (probably not but I’m sure they’ll try). Punk tells the fans that they are following Rock the same way they followed Punk a year ago. Rock says he is back to entertain the fans, stop Punk and win the WWE Championship. Rock says Punk looks like Popeye on crack (Cole loves that) and that he has become the biggest jerk in the world.  Punk essentially says what I said earlier, in that Rock can joke about Punk’s shirts and shout his old catch phrases all he wants because Punk is just going to beat him in the ring. He says all of Rock’s words are meaningless before saying perhaps the best line of trash talk I’ve ever heard. “Your arms are just too short to box with God.” Oh man is that a great line.

It’s on!

Rock of course retorts by telling Punk to get tattoos of candy and a size 15 boot on his butt to remind him of when the Rock kicks his candy ass, and then Rock Bottom’s Punk out of the ring. Hell of a last twenty minutes or so and I’m pumped up for the match. It’s being set up almost perfectly. Rock will always be the People’s Champion, so Punk is attacking the people. Classic stuff. What is interesting is how Punk is completely calling Rock out on being nothing more than catch phrases and schtick, with Rock immediately responding with more catch phrases and schtick. Sure Rock ended the segment with a Rock Bottom, but verbally I think Punk crushed him. It’s kind of like the interrogation scene in The Dark Knight. Rock can’t phase Punk with his words like he did everyone else. Of course it doesn’t matter too much because we all know (or at least we think we know) that Rock is winning the title and Cena is winning the Rumble so they can face off at WrestleMania, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the build up anyway.

Things pick up next week with the 20th anniversary of Raw and I can’t wait.

Christmas Eve Show

The show opens with Mick Foley, portraying Santa Claus, getting run into by Alberto Del Rio. Ricardo is in tears and Del Rio is shocked as “you killed Santa” chants come down from the crowd. Santa gets carried away in a stretcher and Alberto’s run as a face just took a very weird turn. Best open in the history of WWE. The car would be fenced off as a crime scene and perhaps the funniest part of the whole thing is Michael Cole being nearly as serious as he was when Lawler had his heart attack. Now Santa somehow put Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight against John Cena. That just means they can use Christmas items around the ring against each other. So now Santa Claus can book matches too.

Cody Rhodes looked really good in his loss to Kane. He continues to impress me in his return. I’m a little puzzled why he tried to remove a second turnbuckle pad though.

The only thing to appreciate out of the 8 woman Diva’s tag match is Tamina Snuka looking pissed because she has to wear a slutty Christmas outfit. I feel your pain sista. Layla gets top billing but Kaitlyn is being booked as the top face Diva, getting the pin over Eve.

Ziggler and AJ snuggling on a white bear skin rug. Adorable.

Sheamus and Big Show had a lumberjack frost match (get it?). The highlight of the whole thing was Show screaming Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer while having Sheamus in an arm lock, ending with Sheamus grabbing Show’s nose. As far as actual wrestling goes, Sheamus hitting Show with an electric chair slam was pretty cool too. Sheamus ducked under a KO Punch to land a Brogue Kick and win a very good match. The lumberjacks were pretty useless.

David Otunga defended Del Rio before almost beating Zack Ryder until he realized that he’s David Otunga. Again, is Alberto Del Rio a face or a heel? (WWE is trying to figure that out themselves)

Oh so many bad holiday puns.

Even though they forgot to trigger his pyro, Kofi Kingston teamed up with Miz to face Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro anyway. Kofi kicked Barrett into Miz who delivered a Skull Crushing Finale to win a perfectly acceptable midcard match.

Brad Maddox lost another shot at a WWE contract by jobbing to Khali in an elf costume. The Maddox gimmick is a bit stale. He wrestles too much for a guy without an actual contract. If he’s going to stick around, it’s time to officially have him on the roster.

Punk and Heyman cut another brilliant promo for the upcoming Ryback/Punk title match on the January 7th edition of Raw. Ryback then comes out to inform Punk that it will be a TLC match. Can Ryback get a manager please? He sounds like a washing machine with sneakers in it when he talks.

Damien Sandow versus Daniel Bryan. Two of my personal favorites in the ring at the same time. It starts with Sandow asking for silence and Bryan yelling “NO!” I love it. Quick pace and a lot of nice moves. Bryan swung out of Sandow’s finisher to lock in the NO Lock and get the submission victory.

The heels and faces from the lumberjack match got together again for a 12 man 12 days of Christmas tag match. Usos got some serious play in the match, getting the pin on Heath Slater. It would be nice if they got a push in the tag team division.

Kane gives Daniel Bryan a Slammy for Christmas. Bryan gives Kane a dog. Kane is legitimately excited because he’s hungry and wants to eat it. Bryan says “NO! Animals are friends not food” (of course because Bryan is vegan). Well done guys.

Feliz Navidad

The main event between Del Rio and Cena started with Ricardo being too overcome with emotion to announce Del Rio. Alberto takes the mic during the match and tries to explain that it was just an accident, and Cena just yells “Santa!” in response and hits Del Rio. Classic debate skills by Cena. Ricardo gives Del Rio a gift to use on Cena. It turns out to be a pie, and Del Rio accidentally hits Ricardo with it instead. Yup, it’s that kind of match. Cena meanwhile finds a tv monitor in a box and gets the use that (why are these things wrapped up in boxes on the stage?). Del Rio then pulls out a teddy bear and throws it at Cena. That was actually pretty damn funny. Cole makes fun of Cena for selling being hit with a cardboard box (okay now THAT’S funny). Here’s where it gets weird. John Cena finds a bowling ball in a box and rolls it down the ramp into Dell Rio’s nuts. Alberto almost started corpsing out of sheer ridiculousness. Merry Christmas everyone! With Cena distracted, Ricardo puts him down with a sleeper hold (how about that!). Santa Claus (still Mick Foley) then comes out, decks Ricardo with his sack, uses a stocking like socko, gives Del Rio the mandible claw, throwing him into Cena to hit Alberto with an Attitude Adjustment for the win. An absolutely ridiculous match but what the hell, it’s Christmas and it was fun.

The only thing I didn’t get for Christmas was a Dolph Ziggler match.

New Year’s Eve Show

The New Year’s show started off with much less of a bang than Christmas Eve, with Miz TV leading off the show. Add to that that his guest is John Cena and I’m about done with 2012. I just realized that they have two couches out for this show each time but then the guests sit in director’s chairs. Miz informs us that all titles will be on the line (except for Punk of course) and that the champions will pick their opponents (Big Show versus Santino please!). John Cena says he’s going to Ziggler and AJ’s New Year’s toast in the ring later, and Team Rhodes Scholars come out to trash Miz for bringing up the AJ scandal. All Cena wants to do is reference RG3 (Raw is in DC) and talk about Cody’s stache (can’t blame him for that one).

So now Cena and Miz will team up for the first match of the night against Team Rhodes Scholars. Cody Rhodes growing a mustache is probably the best possible thing he could do for his career. The crowd chants “Cody’ mustache” whenever he’s in the ring. He never got that big of a reaction before. It could be the new “YES” chant. I find myself wondering (if wrestling was real of course) what would have happened if Cena didn’t make the challenge for a tag match. This was not scheduled for the card, so what would the original plan have been after Miz TV. Really long commercial break? Did another imaginary match get bumped? Is that where Ryback’s match was supposed to be? Miz does the jobbing for most of the match until getting Cena in on the hot tag, immediately going into the five moves of doom. Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle on Sandow (legal man) but is then struck with a disaster kick by Rhodes. Rhodes is then met with a Skull Crushing Finale by Miz and Cena hits Sandow with an Attitude Adjustment for the win. Just about as formulaic of a match as you can have.

Backstage Vickie Guerrero is having a New Year’s Eve party, and she’s all being a bitch to Ziggler by putting him in a match with Sheamus. CM Punk has Vickie put Ryback in a handicap match against Shield (I guess Ryback was not scheduled to perform until then), and Heyman gets turned down on a kiss on the cheek.

Antonio Cesaro decides to defend his United States Championship against Sgt Slaughter. So that’s kind of cool. At least until the match starts. Slaughter kind of no sells most of Cesaro’s strikes but after Antonio reaches the rope to get out of the cobra clutch, he hits the Neutralizer for the win, hitting another one after the bell to rub it in. Squash match.

Kane and Bryan and pissed because they wanted to pick Shield to defend their title against (no idea why) and then they are thinking of whom to pick, 3MB is heard on the other side of the room rehearsing. So that’s going to happen. Meanwhile, Big Show may not face Santino, but he did decide to defend against Ricardo Rodriguez instead. Somehow I get the feeling Del Rio will be involved. Eve will defend her title against Mae Young. This show is teetering on blowing.

Bryan and Slater actually had a really good start to the tag title match. Bryan hit a toe drag on Slater as Heath was just landing from a jump, and followed it with a Mexican surfboard (which I always appreciate). Kane hits McIntyre with a chokeslam to win a pretty entertaining match. Bryan plays air guitar on the tag team championship belt. Kane does not. When will these two get along!?

Punk in the ring to say that he’s the best and to have his doctor reveal that his injury is real.  The doctor shows x-rays of a healthy knee and Punk’s, and Punk goes on to say that next week he’ll be back and will beat Ryback. The doctor then informs Punk that he can not clear Punk to compete based on the current condition of his rehab. This match was rumored to be pushed off further to insure Punk’s status for the Royal Rumble so this isn’t completely unexpected. Out comes Vince McMahon though and suggests that WWE officials examine his condition next week instead of his personal physician, the result of which will determine whether or not he competes. If Punk can’t go however, McMahon stipulates that Paul Heyman will take his place and face Ryback. Ryback faces Heyman at Madison Square Garden during the holiday tour so that is definitely a possibility. I would not be surprised with either result right now.

Dolph Ziggler out to face Sheamus and it seems that making out with AJ is now part of his entrance (that’s a pretty good entrance). Big E Langston-bot is ringside too. They put on a really good match, ending with Sheamus hitting White Noise and setting up for the Brogue Kick. Langston gets Sheamus’ attention though and Dolph tries to apply and sleeper, but Sheamus throws Ziggler over the top rope, into Langston’s arms. Big E then starts to enter the ring but the Shield jumps Sheamus from behind and takes him out instead, hitting the triple power bomb. So maybe that will lead to something.

Backstage Wade Barrett is trying to get Kofi to challenge him for his Intercontinental title. Barrett asks if he’s choosing between Hornswaggle and Lil’ Jimmy (as he should) but Kofi takes the bait and agrees to face Barrett. Stupid face. Brad Maddox then went to Punk and Heyman looking for a job, and Heyman chewed him out. Perhaps Maddox will cost Punk the title at Royal Rumble? Hmmmmm. Staying backstage, Mae Young can’t compete because she is pregnant. AGAIN! If she gives birth to another hand I’m going to flip. Maybe it’ll be a foot. Kaitlyn would run out instead and just kind of cat fight in a non match. Waste of time.

Getting ready for his match against Big Show, Ricardo is greeted by Alberto Del Rio. He apologizes to Rodriguez for treating him like crap all this time, and Ricardo says he wants to win the match for him. Del Rio says he’ll be in his corner, gives Ricardo his scarf and the keys to his car, telling him to go out there in style. If there was ever any doubt as to whether or not Del Rio was continuing the face turn, this was it. It’s the sappiest face turn since Ebeneezer Scrooge. Big Show smacks him around early but Ricardo pulls and enziguri out of his ass and for a second Show is in trouble. Show recovers however and lines up for a KO Punch but Del Rio interferes and delivers a sidekick to the face. Big Show wins via DQ, and he will face Del Rio on Smackdown. Why do I get the feeling that these two will square off at the Royal Rumble?

Very well done Ricardo

Kofi and Barrett facing each other for what, the eighth time in two months? It’s my biggest problem with the current WWE. Of course they put on a good match but that’s not the point. The point is that after a while there isn’t much new that you can do in the ring. So why have all of these matches on regular shows? If they met once on Raw and had a couple of PPV bouts it would make those big matches feel so much bigger. It’s a waste of good efforts from both. Barrett hit Wasteland for what seems like the first time in forever but Kofi kicked out of it. Kingston then misses on a cross body splash from the top rope, leading to Wade Barrett hitting the Bull Hammer elbow and winning the Intercontinental Championship. I imagine they will both compete in the Royal Rumble, then face each other again at Elimination Chamber.

Backstage, Vickie farted and said “excuse me” as Mae Young gave birth to Hornswaggle in a diaper and a Happy New Year sash. Good grief. Jerry Lawler said he wished he was not revived from his heart attack after seeing that bit. I’m not kidding.

Shield out to face Ryback. Something kind of spoils the idea of the Shield for me when they are booked in matches. Then they have their own entrance music. They are supposed to be a rogue group that can’t be controlled. Then they sign into matches and follow the rules. At least they still enter through the crowd and not down the entrance ramp. Ryback gets jumped before he even gets in the ring and is getting beaten down until Sheamus runs in to help him. Shield takes him down as well and dominate until Randy Orton makes his return to action and levels the playing field. He leads the charge as the faces clean house and the Shield exits the arena.

Ziggler and AJ dressed to the nines while Langston is still in ring gear for the New Year’s toast. It’s all about how many times Cena lost in 2012 (which was a lot) yet was still voted superstar of the year. Dolph says Cena’s time is over and Ziggler’s time is now, and uninvites Cena to the toast. Langston stands guard outside the ring when Cena shows up on the stage. He says that Ziggler was right about 2012. Cena then shows a photoshop job of Dolph and AJ’s wedding (guess who’s in the dress?) and their first kid and Dolph finally cuts him off because Cena has nothing but jokes. Cena then attacks Dolph for taking 7 years to get to where Cena has been the last ten (got him there), announces that he will be entering the Royal Rumble and promises that he will be WWE Champion in 2013. The stage is now set for WrestleMania. Rock beats Punk at Royal Rumble, Cena wins the Rumble and beats Rock at WrestleMania to win the WWE Championship. Cena wraps things up but dumping a pile of shit on Ziggler and AJ to end the 2012 WWE program schedule. The whole segment took way too long but at least there was a payoff.

Your last image of 2012

The New Year’s show was leaps and bounds above the Christmas show but that wasn’t saying much. At least now we can get back on track with live programming, getting the Rock back into things, Raw’s 20th anniversary and promoting the Royal Rumble.

Here is to a happy and prosperous 2013.

Consecutively, Syuri became the first WNC Women’s Champion, defeating team DQN’s Nagisa Nozaki in the finals.  In the opening round, Syuri defeated Lin Bairon to advance to the second round, where she defeated FCF Wrestling’s gender bender Jessica Love, and then Nozaki in the finals.

Big props and a huge salute to my SYNAPSE teammates on their dual victories in Tokyo today!

(Photos by Yuichi Kojima)

Consecutively, Syuri became the first WNC Women’s Champion, defeating team DQN’s Nagisa Nozaki in the finals.  In the opening round, Syuri defeated Lin Bairon to advance to the second round, where she defeated FCF Wrestling’s gender bender Jessica Love, and then Nozaki in the finals.

Big props and a huge salute to my SYNAPSE teammates on their dual victories in Tokyo today!

(Photos by Yuichi Kojima)

- WWE agent Jamie Noble turns 36 years old today while wrestling legend The Great Muta turns 50.
- In his latest Canoe column, Tommy Dreamer wrote about his return…http://www.wrestlesite.com/wwe/latest-wwe-countdown-dreamer-talks-raw-return-birthdays/

Well fans I cant sleep and enough information slipped through the cracks of Facebook and Twitter that have now combined to ensure I will stay up as long as it takes me to finish watching every bit of this three hour Slammy Award edition of WWE Monday Night Raw.

The announcers for tonight are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL.  They are all in suits because that is just how important the Slammys are.

The only way to vote tonight is to get the WWE App.  So if you don’t have a really cool phone you’re fucked.

Get ready for the ring work numbers as provided by Solace Winter!

Rey Mysterio (with Sin Cara) vs. Damien Sandow (with Cody Rhodes).

Little too easy a match.  No one gets involved.  Damien doesn’t seem to click as well with Rey as one would have expected or hoped.  Faster than I can write the words down the match is over.  Rey hits 619 and a splash and this match is all over.  Why so fast?

Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow – 3:10
Mysterio wins

I’m shocked this match went 3 minutes.  Seemed a lot shorter while watching it.  The 3 minutes is the usual amount of time for these matches, but this felt like a minute, minute and a half.  Bit of a waste of a match as well.

Oh that’s why.  Because we need to hype this ridiculous WWE App even more.

Booker T presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Award.  Brad Maddox heel referee, Sheamus beating Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds, Kofi at the Royal Rumble, CM Punk takes down the Rock.

Its the Boogeyman!  The Boogeyman has come out for no good reason.  And he has worms still too!  And now we go to commercial.  Well that was weird.

Back from commercial and it looks like the Boogeyman is already gone.  Alright.  Oh, that was all just enough time for everyone to vote on the App.  Brad Maddox comes out.  I swear I thought it was Eric Bischoff for a moment.  Brad doesn’t win it though.  No, Kofi gets this one.  Kofi Kingstone as Booker T says.  Kofi gives a speech and Brad just walks away.  So far this is a very bizarre Raw.

Did I miss the Divas getting introduced?  What the hell is happening tonight?

Eve Torres (Divas champion) vs. Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn is kicking Eve’s ass.  She really should have a title run at some point.  Eve has darkened her hair and it looks good on her.  Kaitlyn continues to sport her blonde and black look, inspired by such follicle legends as Hulk Hogan and Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Kaitlyn fights out of the corner and just deadlifts Eve out of there.  Well that was impressed.  Not necessarily as impressive as the press slam onto her knee though.  Oh and Kaitlyn actually gets the pin too!  I’m actually shocked.  Happy about this but shocked.  Oh shit and then she does Eve’s pose too.  That’s how you build a match!  When are they going to do this again for the title?  I will be there.  Or watch.  More likely watch.

Eve vs. Kaitlyn – 2:06
Kaitlyn wins

For a match that was surprisingly good, and from two women that are on a roll this week, this match should have gotten more time.  Not like the next few matches got all of the time and that’s why this one suffered.  Hopefully some faith is put into the ladies and they’re given something crazy like 8 minutes.

Presenting Comebakc of the Year… the New Age Outlaws?!   Nice.  We knew Road Dogg had signed to work backstage, and I guess this confirms the rumors about Billy Gunn.  Really, losing the Road Dogg is one of TNA’s many and worst blunders.  Billy Gunn reads his lines off his hand.  Dig at the Rock?

The nominees are Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, DX, Jerry Lawler.

Commercial break so everyone can vote on their apps.  Oh and then they come back with that phony awards show voice over thing? Ugh, that’s just.  Ugh.  And on a wrestling show no less.

Anyways, Jerry wins this award.  As expected and deserved.

Kofi has new logos that say “I Can Fly”.  Where is his Wildcat logo?!

Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental champion) vs. Tensai.

Well Tensai didn’t even get an introduction, so that doesn’t look too good.  How is this going in the arena?  Are the guys coming down with their entrance music while the award presenters just wait to come back from break?

Tensai is going as all out as he can.  Power, some speed, but damn.  Like a hiccup, Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise.  That’s about it.  This was an absurdly quick match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai – 1:06
Kofi wins

Just over a minute?!  Oh poor Tensai.  Alright, squash matches are back, its just not who you would think that’s getting squashed.  Best of luck in your next gimmick Tensai.

Kofi celebrates but the live crowd sees something the TV crowd doesn’t.  Wade Barrett runs out and yanks Kofi’s legs out from the ropes.  Kofi takes a fall and never recovers from that.  Wade smacks Kofi around the outside and ends it with the Bull Hammer.  One heel move and he looks stronger than he did just last night.  Well done Wade.

Vickie Guerrero comes out in a very tight dress to present the next award.  I get the heel heat, but damn.  If you saw her down the street your only thought would be that is one hot MILF.   Well done Vickie.

Kiss of the year nominees: AJ and Daniel Bryan, AJ and Kane, AJ and CM Punk, AJ and John Cena.  I think AJ will win half of this award this year.  That’s right, I’m going out on a limb here!

AJ and John Cena win.  AJ comes out solo, which should probably be expected after the events of last night.  Vickie wants an explanation from AJ after what she did last night.  Um, what she did helped John to win.  So why would you care why she did it?  Fact is she did it. Yay Dolph wins!  Vickie says AJ is trash.  AJ gets picked up weekly!  Dolph Ziggler comes out to separate the two.  AJ jumps on Dolph and starts making out with him.  Dolph tries not to but he just has to give it back.  Can you blame the guy?  AJ bounces off with her award.  AJ may be the missing piece for Dolph’s World title win.

The Great Khali (with Natalya) vs. David Otunga.

HA!  Oh poor David.  Alright, lets see how long he lasts.  Bounce off the ropes, big chop and David is down.  Big Khali chop in the corner.  Another one.  Khali goes for a boot but Otunga moves and Khali is caught up on the ropes.  David takes advantage and starts to take the big man down.  Maybe I was wrong about this match.  Otunga is getting it done.  Oh, no, nevermind, he ran into an elbow. Then a boot.  Then a hand.  Finally a chop and Otunga is done.

Khali vs. David Otunga – 1:55
Khali, duh

I understand putting Khali on TV.  Indian audience, freak of nature, blah blah.  But he is still the most worthless wrestler on the roster.  No skill, just a freak show.  Doing a match of any longer length would just run the risk of serious injury to his opponent.  I suppose if he has to be on here, this is about all the time he should be allowed.

Superstar of the Year:  Sheamus, John Cena, CM Punk, Big Show.

The presenter, and returning to WWE – Ric Flair!

John Cena wins.  Flair calls him “my man!”  I just doubt that.  Well, maybe not.  Work hard, wrestle every night, party later in the night, and have sex with beautiful women.  Maybe Cena and Flair have more in common than I thought.

So much so, that Cena gives his Superstar of the Year award to Ric Flair.  Ric will be selling that off to pay for a divorce soon enough. Flair asks the fans why they don’t like Cena more.  Ouch.  That is not a Flair like thing to say.  CM Punk comes out with Paul Heyman.  He gets right in Flair’s face and cuts that near shoot promo style that only Punk can do right now.  Ric Flair has never been one to back down, and he heads to the ring!  Punk follows him and what the hell is about to happen here?

Punk hits Flair with a crutch and then breaks it over Ric’s back.  The dirtiest player in the game may be in too deep.  Flair comes back with a thumb to the eye and that’s enough for Punk to fall back off the one good leg.  Ric Flair locks Paul Heyman in a classic Figure Four and this has become the best Ric Flair moment in 3-4 years.  Sorry TNA.

Ric Flair cuts a return promo.  He’s happy to see Lawler, happy to be back in WWE and happy to be in Philadelphia.  The Shield comes out and Flair wont back down.  These three took out everyone last night, Ric stands no chance.

Back from commercial and Team Hell No has come out to save Flair.  Ric is going toe to toe with Dean Ambrose.  That’s all you need to know.  Pay attention to Dean for all of next year.

Team Hell No is taken out and the Shield focuses entirely on Ric Flair.  They prepare the announce table and get ready to do the 3 man power bomb but finally Ryback is out.  Ryback press slams Seth Rollins onto the announce table.  It has been a painful 24 hours for Seth Rollins.  The Shield has been fought off and last night’s losers plus Ric Flair stand tall in the ring.  Hell of a segment.

Kane and Ryback lift Flair up on their shoulders.  As they are of different heights, its a little awkward but a great homecoming for Naitch.

Backstage there are now three dueling chants.  Yes! No! and Woooooo!!!!  There’s only one thing that could be added to that.  Damn!

Brodus Clay (with Naomi and Cameron) vs JTG.

JTG is on the outside just watching the Funkadactyls.  JTG may be my new hero.

JTG gets in a little bit of offense but it was not much more than a charity move from Brodus.  Clay destroys JTG for the rest of this brief match.  A big splash and this match is over rather quickly.  Kids dance with the dinosaur posse.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG – 1:50
Clay. Duh.

Oh poor JTG.  Much better wrestler than Brodus yet so much farther down the roster.  Nothing Brodus has shown me leads me to believe he’ll hold a title at any point in WWE.  Its a fun act, but that two minutes goes a long way.  No, no I’m good Brodus.  We don’t need to dance again on Smackdown.  In fact, I’d be fine if you just danced once a month.

Santino Marella and Tensai to present the LOL moment of the year?!  And then Tensai trips on the way out?  And he’s wearing a hot water bottle to reduce swelling from the Trouble in Paradise?  Shockmaster 2K12 is in the house!  ”Albert”  Oh and even worse, “Fat Albert”.  Is this the start of a new character for Tensai?  It may be needed.

Nominees:  The Rock throws out Cena’s merchandise, Team Hell No therapy sessions, Randy Orton attacks Del Rio and dumps food on Ricardo, Vickie Guerrero dances.

The Rock wins for moment of the year and…. yup he’s not there.  The fans boo his lack of appearance.  Hmmm, maybe his match against CM Punk wont be as clear cut as we think.   Daniel Bryan comes out just to yell no.  Kane takes him away.

Sin Cara (with Rey Mysterio) vs. Cody Rhodes (with Damien Sandow).

Sin Cara should only get that bathed blue lighting when he’s in a squash match.  Once his opponent starts to dominate, as a better wrestler like Cody no doubt will, the lights should go away.  In fact why not have the colors alternate depending on how well he’s doing in the match?

Cody controls the match for awhile but Sin Cara starts to fight back.  He tries to get the crowd behing him but it just isn’t happening.  Maybe because they can barely see him.  Speaking of not being able to see things, Sin Cara damn sure didn’t see Cross Rhodes coming.  Yet there it is, and Cody picks up the win.  Thankfully.

Cody Rhodes vs. Sin Cara – 4:14
Rhodes wins

Four minutes for Sin Cara?  Again, speaking of men with limited abilities.  Unless he’s in a tag team match limit Sin Cara to one or two minutes.  Cody however could go 10 easily with almost anyone.  With the right opponent, I could see 20 or 30.  Mustache provides an extra 5 minutes of stamina.

More on this WWE App.  I should download the App and then put in into the new App category, beating a dead horse.

Zack Ryder and Layla are here to present the next award.  Zack looks like, well Zack and Layla has lightened up her hair and spent a good amount of money on a new dress. And more on the WWE App!  Sonofabitch!

Trending Now Hashtag of the Year nominees:  #FeedMeMore #PeoplePower #LittleJimmy #WWWYKI

Ryback wins but doesn’t come out to accept.  Must have been feeding time.

Big Show comes out and brings the World’s Largest Chair with him.  He cuts a lackluster promo and the fans get on him for it.  Sheamus comes out to save us all.  Sheamus says Big Show was better last night and shakes hands in respect.  Big Show calls him a potato eater!  Scandalous!  Sheamus reacts like its his own personal “n-word”.  Take down, Brogue Kick, chairs, I think he even threw some corned beef on Big Show at one point.  Sheamus leaves strong and Show is left laying.  Again, which one of these two men is being booked stronger and thus looks more like a champion?>

Dolph Ziggler runs out with the MITB case!  Aw shit what timing!  And then John Cena runs out to ruin it!  Cena comes out and clotheslines Dolph.  Then tosses Ziggler against every ring wall he can find.  Cena walks off as Super Cena once again and Dolph is left laying.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez), The Miz, and….?

Miz reminds everyone that we are in Philadelphia, and its time to take things to the  Extreme.  I start to mark out.  Who can it be?!

Before we can find out we see Dolph talking to Vickie backstage.  Vickie is all upset and wants to know what Dolph has going on with AJ.  We all want to know.  Dolph is tired of arguing with Vickie and he ends their relationship.  Oh its not even a face turn, its just being hurtful.

Its Tommy Dreamer!

Miz and Del Rio build up a bit for Tommy getting into the match.  Dreamer looks fantastic.  Quicker than he’s been in years and very obviously thrilled to be there.  Del Rio dives to the outside?!  I’m shocked.  But not as shocked as I am to see Dreamer flying off the top to the floor!  The fans start to chant ECW.  As much as that name has been tarnished, and dragged through the mud, at its heart those three initials still matter.

Back from commercial and 3MB has regained control of the match.  They work over Miz and the fans are still getting used to cheering for Miz to get the hot tag.  Miz is still a couple weeks away from getting the slow clap.

Miz works most of the match and eventually gets in to Del Rio.  Alberto cleans house and very easily takes out all of 3MB.  Del Rio is about to lock on the arm breaker but Dreamer begs to get into the match.  Alberto sees the lighter side and tags in Tommy.  One DDT later and the Hardcore Legend gets a great homecoming win.

3MB vs. Miz, Alberto Del Rio, & Tommy Dreamer – 10:40

I got to see Tommy Dreamer on Raw in 2012.  I don’t care how long this match went, I was going to love it.  10 minutes is pretty great though.  Lets hear it for 10 minute Tommy matches every week!

Sheamus comes out to present Newcomer of the Year:  Antonio Cesaro, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Ryback.

Well, I think we all know who will win this.  To the surprise of no one, its the Ryback.  Ryback says he is that change.  Yes.  I have never before seen an over muscled man with a limited move set move to the top of WWE.  Its unheard of!

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro (US champion).

Well this will be interesting.

And it is.  This may be Ryback’s best match so far.  Antonio is a great wrestler, but he also has the skill to make his opponent look good too.  He picks up Ryback but takes a beating too.  And Cesaro is not a small man, yet Ryback is just tossing him with ease.  Oh damn shame this match has to end that way, but both of these guys need to look strong.  Antonio walks away and gets counted out.  Not a bad booking choice.  Not a bad personal choice either.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro – 2:34

Does this match even count?  Antonio runs off and so what does it matter how long the match was?  It could have been 30 seconds or 30 minutes, but if the guy is going to walk off then it doesn’t matter how long the match runs.

Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to present, along with Ricky the Dragon Steamboat.  Hell, lets bring out Good Ole’ JR as well.  These three men will present the Match of the Year award.  Undertaker vs. Triple H – End of an Era, Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena, Sheamus vs. Big Show, Rock vs. Cena – Once in a Lifetime.

Where is CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan?!

The winner is Undertaker vs. Triple H and here comes Hunter to accept the award.  Damn, this is the first time Triple H has appeared on WWE TV since getting his infamous haircut.  That was one hell of a match though.  Hunter drops the bombshell that we have not seen the last of the Undertaker.  I’m thinking WrestleMania just got signed.

We jump to backstage and the Shield is beating the shit out of Tommy Dreamer.  Damn you Tommy, always will ing to take the beating and put someone else over. When will you be put over though?  Ricardo of all people attempts the save first and he’s also beat down.  WWE officials get the beating to stop and the Shield leaves.  (For now?)

AJ comes bouncing out for her match, but she insists on a ladder being brought into the ring first.  Somehow AJ is calling the shots, but does anyone really complain?

Back from break and AJ is atop this very high ladder.  AJ does this amazing job of seeming creepy and yet adorable.  She is just about to explain herself when Vickie Guerrero comes out and cuts her off.  Before Vickie and AJ can go at it, their tag team partner arrive.

Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee vs. John Cena and Vickie Guerrero.

John and Dolph have a brief exchange.  Dolph takes one hit too many though and tags AJ in.  Which means Vickie has to come in as well.  Vickie attacks AJ and she has had enough.  AJ takes off and heads to the back.  Vickie leaves too, probably figures without AJ why bother being out here?  Its down to Cena vs. Ziggler.

Dolph is doing some fine work and controlling this unplanned one on one match.  Dolph backs up so he can set up a super kick, but he takes way too much time for it.  John ducks that and comes back with an STF.  As Dolph is locked in, AJ comes back and she is not alone.  AJ brings with her the Raw debut of NXT Superstar Big E Langston.  He is big.  He stuffs Cena’s running charge, then hits his altered RKO slam thing (cant wait to hear the name for that one) on Cena.  AJ bounces around the ring and celebrates her master plan.  Damn if the rest of us know what that is though.

John Cena & Vickie Guerrero vs. Dolph Ziggler & AJ Lee – 4:26

Again, if people walk off does it matter how long the match was?  This isn’t even a match.   This is set up for the next chapter of the AJ show.  Granted, I’ll be turning in for it but the story does not yield great matches nor great match times.

For a moment, I thought it was Raw 1000 all over again: legends all over the place, announcers in tuxedos, and a whole ton of surprises. Of course, that was not the case. We were actually at the annual Slammy Awards, and while I would normally talk about the Slammy winners themselves, there were too many other things happening in between that I couldn’t ignore.

So with that being said, I present to you Top 5/Top 5: the top 5 moments, and the top 5 unanswered questions.

TOP 5 MOMENTS

1. Yes! No! Wooooooo…and DAMN!

So how damn lucky is Daniel Bryan this year? I thought it was absolutely hilarious when he got to do catchphrase wars with Chris Jericho, but last night’s moment with Kane, Ric Flair, and Ron Simmons took the cake. They definitely had me marking out.

2. AJ and Ziggler dry hump play tonsil hockey kiss

Well. I certainly don’t need to say anymore. Their actions speak for themselves…

3. Cena stops Ziggler from cashing in his briefcase

If I was watching Raw on TV and not on an illegal stream, I would have thrown the remote at the screen. So alas, I settled for some angry screaming into my blanket. That was a low blow if I ever saw one, and I’m still rattled by it. Still, I can’t help but feel a little satisfied that John Cena did something so dirty and uncalled for. It’s not something for a heel turn, but it’s always nice to see Cena do something not so golden.

4. Ziggler and Vickie break up

After months of hoping and wishing, we finally got what we wanted: Vickie is no longer Ziggler’s manager. Frankly, I thought this was a little overdue, but I’m pleased that it happened last night. There was great build up to this moment, and it was only appropriate it happen right after Ziggler won what may arguably be his most important match to date (his TLC match against John Cena). It really is his time to shine…that is, of course, when we figure out if he and AJ actually do have something going on.

5. Flair and Tommy Dreamer put over The Shield

First off, it was great to see the Nature Boy and Tommy Dreamer again, it really was! With that being said, it was amazing to watch them put over the Shield. That really shows how much confidence the WWE has in Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns going into the future.

*Special Mention: Kane picks up an angry Daniel Bryan off stage (because that was funny as fuck)

TOP 5 UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

1. What is next for the Shield?

The Shield has undoubtedly left the impact they claimed they would leave. They managed to put Ryback through the announce table for a total of three times, revealing Ryback’s vulnerability. They defeated Ryback and Team Hell No at TLC in what has been universally considered the best match of the night, if not one of the best in 2012. And of course, they attacked Ric Flair and Tommy Dreamer last night on Raw and essentially got away with it.

In all of that, they have vehemently denied any connections to a higher power, including CM Punk. So…what’s next for them? Are they going to continue attacking people ‘in the name of justice’? Are we going to get a big reveal that they are indeed working for someone, or are they truly on their own and thirsty for a new prey? In all likelihood, these three will still have some more to do with at least Ryback, since it looks like CM Punk will have to focus on facing the Rock at the Royal Rumble.

But I’m still curious to see if there’s something bigger going on down the road for these three.

2. Who is Big E Langston?

I didn’t know whether to be amused or horrified that ‘Ryblack’ was trending worldwide within minutes of his debut on Raw.

As most of you know by now, Langston is the latest wrestler to be brought up from WWE’s developmental territory show, NXT. But here’s the bizarro factor: Langston was given the NXT Championship two weeks ago! So what, or rather why, is he suddenly on Raw? And what in the world is he doing with AJ? Does this have something to do with John Cena personally, or is there a bigger story involved?

And that leads to my next question…

3. Are these NXT debuts related in any way?

Brad Maddox, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns…and now Big E Langston. I know that Maddox has been around since Raw 1000, but all of them have made an impact within the last three months. Is it a coincidence, or something more?

The Shield adamantly stated that they were not the Nexus in their first promo, and I believe them. They certainly have no real ties to Maddox other than the fact that their actions benefited CM Punk, and Langston debuted in alliance to AJ, who currently has no storyline with Punk.

Still. You have to admit the timing is suspicious.

4. AJ and Ziggler’s relationship?

First of all, let me call out all the bullshit slut shaming going on about AJ. Shame on you if you’re one of them. I’m not going to rant too long about it since many intelligent people have already defended her, but honestly. I want to punch those double standards up your nose. For the love of fucking goodness, I would kill to be in her place. She’s one lucky gal having one hell of a year. So take your jealousy and make yourself miserable.

But I digress slightly from the question: what actually is going on with them?

Was that kiss just to piss off Vickie, or has AJ been in cahoots with Ziggler all along? Personally, I think it’s the former; I don’t think anything is actually going on (yet). AJ’s problem seems to be more with John Cena, and Ziggler just happens to be feuding him at this time. I guess we’ll find out more in the coming weeks.

5. What’s next for Ric Flair?

Ric Flair made his successful return to Raw last night! But as some of you may realize by now, his appearance probably wasn’t like that of the other legends. Flair has been part of a TNA lawsuit for months now, which was the only reason why WWE wasn’t bringing him back to the flagship show yet. Now, assuming that this appearance means there was some sort of settlement, we can probably hope for Flair to be around longer.

But as what? A manager? The permanent General Manager of Raw?

That’s to be determined.

BOTTOM LINE: I can’t say whether I liked this Raw or not. It was definitely a mess, with the terrible commercial breaks and the rigged voting for the Slammys (I swear to god it was). But it did leave us with a lot to think about, especially with AJ closing the flagship show for what I believe was the third time this year. But we can be sure of one thing: WWE is going in a new direction, as promised, and we can only look forward to better things in the weeks to come.

*Please remember to like, reblog, and/or comment afterwards. Thank you!*

This was a very interesting episode of Raw. Usually if the in-ring action on Raw isn’t up to par, that show is bad. This was an exception. While it wasn’t exactly horrible, the in-ring action on this episode was just “there”. There were some decent matches, but this episode was all about the Slammy Award presentations and other promos. In fact, these segments made up for the okay to bad match quality. It felt like an “Attitude Era” Raw for the most part, because of the shock value and subpar wrestling, but strong promo segments. I was thoroughly entertained by this show.

Damien Sandow and Rey Mysterio opened the show with a decent match. This was nothing special, and I don’t really like that Sandow lost so quickly. At least this didn’t happen on pay-per-view and nobody will remember it in a few weeks.

Who called the return of The Boogeyman? Oh yeah, that’s right, I did. Just over a week ago I listed him as one of the mid-carders that could possibly return, and he did just that on this show. He interrupted and scared Booker T as he was presenting the first Slammy of the night. Sure, It won’t be a full-time return, and it’ll most likely be just this one appearance, but this was awesome. I am a huge mark for The Boogeyman, and I’m probably the only person who marked out for this, but I really don’t care. The character is awesome.

Kofi Kingston won the “Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That!” Award for his handstand during the 2012 Royal Rumble Match. That wasn’t the most shocking moment of the year, but the voting is rigged anyway, so there’s no point in arguing with any award winners (with the exception of Superstar of the Year).

Kaitlyn beat Eve Torres in a very quick match. That seemed to be the theme of the night. At least Kaitlyn picking up the win here made some sense, even if it made Eve look a little bit weak as Divas Champion. On a side note, I really like Kaitlyn’s Go To Sleep style finisher.

The New Age Outlaws made their return to present the Slammy for Comeback of the Year. Jerry Lawler won, and he did deserve some sort of Slammy, but to me a comeback is something that belongs to an in-ring performer. Brock Lesnar should have won this, but Lawler did get a special moment, which he definitely deserved.

Kofi Kingston defeated Tensai. A very short match that served no purpose. Wade Barrett attacked Kofi after the match, but that could have been done earlier in the show when Kofi won his Slammy. This was a pointless segment.

AJ Lee and John Cena won the Slammy for Kiss of the Year. I find it hilarious that there were four nominees, and AJ was all four of them with four different men. To add to that, see added another kiss with Dolph Ziggler to the list shortly after she won the award. I don’t understand how the kiss between Eve and John Cena wasn’t nominated though. Anyway, the AJ and Vickie Guerrero confrontation was unnecessary now that both of them are heels, and I can’t see them turning Vickie babyface. However, I once said the same thing about Alberto Del Rio and look what happened.

The Great Khali vs. David Otunga. December 21st, 2012 came early. Enough said.

Ric Flair returned to the WWE to present the Slammy for Superstar of the Year. Flair even took a few cheap shots at TNA, which was pretty funny. John Cena ended up winning the award, and the entire crowd let him know how they felt about that. Cena was being booed so loudly that he couldn’t even speak. Flair had a look on his face that said “wow, they really hate this guy”. The Philadelphia crowd had good reason to boo. Cena did absolutely nothing this year, and it could be argued that this was the worst year of his career. He had a terrible feud with Kane, he lost to The Rock at WrestleMania, he got destroyed by Brock Lesnar, he lost to John Laurinaitis on pay-per-view, he became the first man to cash in a Money in the Bank briefcase and lose, he lost to CM Punk three times on pay-per-view, he got hurt, and he lost to Dolph Ziggler. Not exactly a Superstar of the Year kind of year. CM Punk has been WWE Champion for the entirety of 2012, and he was undefeated on pay-per-view (11-0) in 2012. He should had won this award, and everyone knows that. Cena ending up giving the award to Flair for no reason at all, and then Punk came out and this segment became amazing.

Punk and Flair had a pretty cool back and forth, which eventually lead to Flair challenging Punk to a fight. Punk made his way down to the ring and attacked Flair with his crutches. Flair countered with an eye poke on Punk, and then applied the Figure Four Leg Lock on Paul Heyman. This was just hilarious. The Shield eventually made their way down to the ring, followed by Daniel Bryan, Kane, and Ryback. I was shocked to see Seth Rollins participating in this brawl just one night after he took that vicious table bump and sustained a concussion. The babyfaces cleaned house here, and Flair got his moment. Just an overall great segment.

Brodus Clay defeated JTG. Who cares? Nobody.

I actually laughed at the terrible comedy segment between Santino Marella and Tensai as they presented the Slammy for LOL Moment of the Year. Santino even referred to Tensai as Albert, which was funny. The Rock won for his “history lesson” promo he cut back in March making fun of John Cena’s merchandise. Of course, he wasn’t there to accept the award, and he got booed. I’m expecting a hugely pro-Punk crowd at the Royal Rumble in January. The Rock is going to be booed.

Cody Rhodes defeated Sin Cara in the match of the night, which isn’t saying very much. This was another short match, and Rhodes picking up the win made sense because his partner Sandow lost to Mysterio earlier in the night. This was decent.

Zack Ryder and Layla presented the Slammy for Hashtag of the Year. I don’t understand why #GoatFace wasn’t nominated, but #FeedMeMore ended up winning here. By the way, Ryder and Layla had absolutely no chemistry and this came off as awkward.

We were about five seconds away from Dolph Ziggler becoming the new World Heavyweight Champion, but Cena had to ruin this too. Sheamus had knocked The Big Show out cold with a Brogue Kick, and Ziggler came out to cash-in. Cena attacked Ziggler to stop him before the bell could ring. If this was supposed to get the crowd behind Cena, it obviously didn’t work. He got booed even more after this. I have a feeling that Ziggler will cash-in tonight on the live Smackdown, since he will be involved in a match with Show already.

Tommy Dreamer made his return to the WWE as the mystery partner of Alberto Del Rio and The Miz. These three took on 3MB. I like how WWE is trying to get Del Rio over as a babyface by using legends as his partner. I think it’s working. That being said, this match was way too long and slow for my taste. The Miz was isolated by 3MB for basically the whole match, before he got the hot tag to Del Rio, who then tagged Dreamer in to hit his DDT for the win. The match was boring, but at least Dreamer got his little moment in Philly.

Sheamus presented the Slammy for Newcomer of the Year. Obviously Ryback won this. Ryback then took on Antonio Cesaro. I saw the count out victory coming a mile away, as there was no way the WWE was going to have Cesaro squashed here.

Jim Ross, Gene Okerlund, and Ricky Steamboat came out to present the Slammy for Match of the Year. Of course, Triple H vs. The Undertaker from WrestleMania XXVIII won this. Why was Sheamus vs. Big Show nominated over CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan and The Shield vs. Kane, Bryan, and Ryback…I don’t even know. Triple H came out to accept the award, and said that we haven’t seen the last of The Undertaker. We already knew that though.

The main event was Dolph Ziggler and AJ vs. John Cena and Vickie Guerrero. This all lead to AJ leaving, and then returning with the debuting Big E Langston from NXT by her side. I’m not a fan of Langston at all, but I’ll have to see where this goes. On NXT he was a babyface, so maybe he is better at pulling off a heel character. I would have preferred seeing Bray Wyatt in this spot, but this could be a surprise. I’ll have more of an opinion on Langston in the coming weeks.

Overall, the in-ring action on Raw was bad, very bad. However, the award presentations and other segments made up for this. This was an “Attitude Era” style Raw, which is nice from time to time, but I’m expecting a lot better actual wrestling next week. The returns of Triple H, Ric Flair, Tommy Dreamer, and The Boogeyman were nice though.

The Slammys are cool and all, but did we really need to have it happen the night right after TLC?

There were times where the show moved along quickly and other times where it felt like it wouldn’t end.

This wasn’t a pretty Raw in the ring, but one that will be remembered mostly for campy comedy, the debut of Big E Langston and a truly special segment with Ric Flair.

The Breakdown:

- Narrated video opener focused on yep, the slammy. Not even one mention of the Pay-Per-View that occurred the night before. Broadcast team rightfully brought up A.J.’s turn on Cena and The Shield’s victory.

- Rey Mysterio (w/Sin Cara) def. Damien Sandow (w/Cody Rhodes): Quick match that never truly rose to its feet. Mysterio did need a win to keep things competitive, but this wasn’t much of anything.

- What kind of an awards show changes the names of its awards every year? Anyways, as for the first award, it was like 2005 all over again. JBL? Yes. The Boogeyman of all people? Lord no. What makes it even better was that Booker T and The Boogeyman once feuded. Brad Maddox coming out on an assumption that he won the award was a nice touch as well.

- Kaitlyn def. Eve: Nothing to throw a party over. Surprise surprise, it’s yet another Eve/Kaitlyn program for the Diva’s Championship.

- The appearance by the New Age Outlaws came from nowhere. Road Dogg didn’t censor the word “ass” when he introduced Billy Gunn. Let the “Attitude Era is back” speculation begin. Also, only in WWE can you present an award you’re nominated for. With good reason, they gave Jerry Lawler the comeback of the year award.

- Kofi Kingston def. Tensai: Not that great. Pretty short as well. Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win. Post-match, Wade Barrett attacked Kingston, which advanced their feud nicely.

- It’s safe to say that A.J. was definitely leaving with a Slammy by night’s end. She was in every nomination for Kiss of the Year. The exchange between Vickie Guerrero and A.J. was a bit awkward since A.J. is a heel now. A.J. claimed she owed no explanations and despite the award, when Dolph Ziggler came out to calm the peace, she leaped into Ziggler’s arms and kissed him.

- The Great Khali (w/Natalya) def. David Otunga: Utter misery. Khali hit the awkward chop to win, which was then followed by some awkward dancing with Natalya and Khali.

- Needless to say, the Ric Flair appearance was an awesome surprise. He hasn’t lost his touch, that’s for sure. Cena received a less than favorable reaction from the Philly crowd upon his Superstar of the Year Slammy award, but he gave the award to Flair, which set up the hot Punk/Heyman interruption and the segment became near-legendary at that point after Flair went to the ring and challenged Punk to take him on after Punk threatened to kick his ass after a rant over Cena’s bad 2012.

- It was truly a special moment when Flair hit Punk with a thumb to the eye after he hit Flair with his crutches and then put Heyman in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Flair said he was there to party and then The Shield’s music played as they pointed to the ring from the crowd for yet another kick-ass hook for commercial.

- The Shield attacked Ric Flair and Team Hell No was in the ring as well. The Shield gained advantage and was about to powerbomb Flair through the announce table when Ryback’s music hit. Ryback and Team Hell No cleared The Shield out of the ringside area. Flair joined Ryback and Team Hell No in celebrating. Hot segment.

- Ron Simmon’s infamous “damn” was all that was needed to describe the backstage Team Hell No/Ric Flair segment.

- Brodus Clay def. JTG: Such a shame to see JTG back to jobbing. In the TLC dark match, JTG had defeated David Otunga in front of the Brooklyn hometown crowd. It’s evident that was just a one-night special package.

- Santino Marella and Tensai have an odd chemistry. They had to know the crowd was going to boo the fact that The Rock wouldn’t be there to accept the Slammy. The random interruption by Daniel Bryan was strange. Just like that, we were thrown into another match.

- Cody Rhodes (w/Damien Sandow) def. Sin Cara (w/Rey Mysterio): Decent match that was able to get Cody Rhodes a win in that each team had a victory in essence.

- It figures WWE would dedicate a Slammy to a Twitter hashtag. That was kind of pointless though.

- It seems that the Sheamus/Big Show feud will continue on for another month. Effective segment with good use of the giant chair and the Brogue Kick. Dolph Ziggler ran to the ring to cash in his briefcase when John Cena went into the ring and attacked Ziggler. The bell never rang so it wasn’t official. Good way to show Cena getting back at Ziggler.

- The backstage exchange between Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero was intense, not sure if WWE is trying to turn Vickie into a face figure.

- Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)/The Miz/Tommy Dreamer def. 3MB: The addition of Dreamer was a good way to get the crowd into it. It did feel like it took a bit too long to get to the hot tag but the crowd was back into it once Del Rio tagged in Dreamer prior to the finish.

- Ryback won the Newcomer of the Year Slammy and quoted Owen Hart.

- Ryback def. Antonio Cesaro via countout: Decent match that protected Cesaro with the finish, although him and Ryback don’t have much chemistry in the ring.

- Interesting comment by Triple H when he said we haven’t seen the last of The Undertaker, when he came out to accept the Slammy for Match of the Year.

- Great segment where The Shield attacked both Tommy Dreamer and Ricardo Rodriguez.

- John Cena/Vickie Guerrero def. Dolph Ziggler/A.J. Lee via DQ: Alright match that was obviously more about the debut of Big E Langston. Nice twist to head into Smackdown with.

Final Thoughts: Give WWE credit, amidst all of the campy comedy and bogus awards, we did get some progress and a debut from Big E Langston, an NXT mainstay, so it’ll be interesting to see where this all leads.

But forget about all that, it’s the Slammys!

The Slammys were already meaningless, but now all of the voting is done online. WWE doesn’t have the best history with accurate fan vote results, so this show could largely be a wash. At least we get to see Lawler in a tuxedo.

The show kicks off with Mysterio in singles action against Damien Sandow with Sin Cara and Cody Rhodes in their respective partner’s corner. They must have taken my advice from last night because During Rey’s intro, Rey waved over for Sin Cara to come join him. That’s how it should be. We don’t need Sin Cara jumping around like an idiot. Rumor is that he further injured his knee at TLC, and this doesn’t prove otherwise. Sandow controls the early going until he brings Mysterio up on the top turnbuckle. Mysterio beats Damien back to the mat and gets going. Hurricarana, dropkick, 619, top rope splash, quick win for Mysterio. I feel like the matches will be on the quick side most of the night to make time for all the Slammys.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Booker T comes out to announce the most shocking moment of the year. The nominees are Brad Maddox’s low blow on Ryback, Sheamus beating Bryan at WrestleMania, Kofi walking on his hands to avoid elimination at the Royal Rumble, and Punk turning heel on Rock. Before Booker can announce the winner, he’s interrupted by the Boogie Man! He smashes the alarm clock over his head and runs around with worms as they go to break. Booker looks like he just crapped his pants. When they come back Booker says “Tell me I did not see that.” I assume Boogie Man ran around with worms for the length of the break. Back to the award, Brad Maddox walks out expecting his name to be called, but instead Kofi Kingston wins it. Punk got robbed.

Back in the ring Kaitlyn is going against Eve and she is smacking the Divas Champion around literally. Kaitlyn wants revenge for Eve causing her to lose the battle royal last night to get a title shot. Eve gets Kaitlyn in the corner for her choke move but Kaitlyn lifts her up and drops her on her knees (clumsily) to get the quick win. She holds up Eve’s title and in all likelihood they will meet at the Rumble.

The New Age Outlaws are back! Billy Gunn signed with WWE recently and is back with the Road Dogg. Jesse James does the whole schtick before getting into the Comeback of the Year Award. The nominees are Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, DX and Jerry Lawler. Of course Jerry Lawler is going to win. He came back from the dead for crying out loud! They have another commercial break before announcing the winner of course so that everyone can download the WWE app and vote on the awards. This just has to be incredibly awkward for everyone in the arena. Are Gunn and Road Dogg just standing there the whole time? Anyway Lawler wins. Obviously.

“Tell me I did not see that” winner and Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston in the ring now facing Tensai. Tensai dominates Kofi through “Albert” chants from the crowd. He misses on a dive in the turnbuckle though and Kofi hits him with Trouble in Paradise to win yet another quick match. Afterwards however Wade Barrett spoils the celebration by puling Kofi out of the ring, throwing him into the ring post and delivering a Bull Hammer elbow to knock him out. I assume they will meet again. The only question is if it will be at Royal Rumble or not. Normally I’d say definitely but some talent needs to actually be in the rumble.

One closer to #AJALL

Vickie Guerrero out now to announce the winner of Kiss of the Year. The nominees are all involving AJ. AJ and Daniel Bryan, AJ and Kane, AJ and CM Punk, and AJ and John Cena. #AJALL anyone? Vickie gets on the soapbox to say she would never get involved with anyone at work, while AJ’s kiss with Cena gets the win. AJ comes out for the award and Vickie asks her to explain her actions at TLC. Instead AJ grabs the award and says she cared too much about what everyone thought about her in the past but not anymore. Vickie calls her a piece of trash and they start arguing until Dolph Ziggler comes out to break it up. AJ then tells Vickie that her and Cena might have won kiss of the year, “but it is nothing compared to this” and proceeds to jump into Ziggler’s arms and make out with him. Vickie screams bloody murder and storms off. AJ then skips away and leaves Dolph staggered. We all saw that one coming, right?

Khali up next against David Otunga. Jobber versus jobber. Something has to give. Natalya is in Khali’s corner and he almost immediately hits a few big chops. He misses on a kick though and Otunga beats him down. Khali puts a boot up to tag Otunga running at him in the corner, hits him with the chop to the head and gets the pin. That was longer than the Kofi match. This is a total waste.

Ric Flair in the house! At least his voice anyway. He is heard announcing the nominees for Superstar of the Year. It is between John Cena, CM Punk, Sheamus and Big Show. Should be Punk. More importantly is the sound of Flair’s voice. Very curious if he is in the building or not. Back from break, Ric Flair sure is in the house! It had been rumored for a while but for it to be so sudden is pretty surprising. JBL said it’s like Babe Ruth returning to Yankee Stadium. His best days were not in the WWE, although they own the rights to all the companies his best days were in so I guess it works. Somehow, John Cena wins Superstar of the Year and the Philadelphia crowd does not seem to agree. Cena does that dopey smirk (the same one he did when he lost last night) as the crowd chants “Ziggler’s better” and talks about working harder than anyone else and thanking the fans and all that. Out of respect, he says that the superstar of the year should be the greatest superstar of all time, and gives the award to Flair. He walks about and Flair starts to talk but gets cut off  by CM Punk. He says Cena winning is a joke since he has done nothing but lose all year (true) and that Flair wasn’t even in the organization this year. Punk gets in Flair’s face and says that he’s man. Flair checks his diamond studded watch and tells him it’s time to walk. Punk says that even with one leg he can still kick his ass. Flair brings up his four ex-wives, beating Punk to the punch before challenging him to a fight in the ring. Flair goes down the ramp into the ring waiting for Punk who slowly makes his way into the ring. Punk then hits Flair with his crutch and takes him down. He struts and goes for another shot before Flair gives him an eye gauge. Punk rolls out of the ring and Flair puts the figure four on Heyman. Good spot and cool way to bring back Flair.

WCW reunion!

Still in the ring, Flair grabs the mic and says that he and Lawler and never going to die, but if he’s going to go he wants to go as a part of this organization (or with a woman from Philadelphia). He continues to talk until the Shield starts to appear in the crowd. Not to be forgotten is a sign that says “I just Mizzed My Pants.” Well done whoever you are. They go to commercial and when they come back Kane and Bryan are helping Flair against Shield. Ambrose takes out Flair and then the group takes out Team Hell No. Flair gets dragged out of the ring and they prepare to put him through the announce table when Ryback comes out. He takes all of them out, throwing Rollins onto the announce table. It doesn’t break, he just bounces off. Flair, Kane, Bryan and Ryback all get back in the ring and Flair shakes Ryback’s hand and they all hold their arms up. Shouldn’t Ryback want to eat him or something? A little out of character. They then put Flair on their shoulders and give him another ovation. I was with the whole thing until that last part. I dunno, it was just a little too much for me.

Backstage Flair is talking to Kane and Bryan. Kane is celebrating how they finally took down the Shield, yelling YES! This gets Bryan shouting NO! That gets Flair yelling WOO! Finally Ron Simmons shows up to stop things with an emphatic DAMN! A lot of screen time for Flair.

Another weird squash match as Brodus Clay faces JTG. JTG hits move off the top rope after a quick burst from Clay. Brodus then hits a couple of clotheslines and a splash in the corner before hitting the headbutt and What the Funk (that’s what it’s called right?) to win for the first time in what seems like ages.

Now for some reason Santino and Tensai are out to announce LOL moment of the year. Tensai is wearing a bandage and ice on his head after losing to Kofi, he even falls coming out to the stage. Tensai refuses to talk to Santino, while referring to him as Albert, says his lines for him. He says that his name is Tensai, which in Japan means “Fat Albert.” Tensai gets pissed and Santino says he was just reading the teleprompter. Tensai then actually speaks, yelling that there is no teleprompter. This could finally be the character change Albert so desperately needs. Maybe he will go back to being Prince Albert. It makes so much sense. No one sees him as anything else. Anyway the nominees are Rock making fun of Cena, the anger management sessions, Randy Orton pouring coffee and sauce on Ricardo, and Vickie Guerrero dancing. It has to be the anger management sessions right? Well it’s not. It’s the Rock. He isn’t there and Santino takes it in his place. Bryan comes out to grab the award saying that it should be his. He’s damn right. Kane drags him away.

I guess Sin Cara is okay because he’s facing Cody Rhodes. They actually brought the lights down for him. Can’t imagine why they are bringing that back. Sin Cara does some low impact jumpy moves before Cody starts using real wresting moves. Cody continues smacking and kicking Sin Cara around until Sin Cara rolls toward the ropes. When Rhodes goes after him he gets met with a swinging kick to the face and Sin Cara hits a hurricarana. Cody blocks another attempt at a swinging whirly whatever, hits the Cross Rhodes and takes the match. His push continues.

Zack Ryder and Layla out next to announce the Trending Now Hashtag of the Year (oh god). The nominees are #feedmemore, #peoplepower (hey a Laurinaitis mention!), #littlejimmy and #wwwyki. I assume Ryder wins by default but I have only gotten one right so far. Well I’m wrong and it is #feedmemore. I feel like they were expecting Ryder to win as he took the trophy before it was announces and said he would go to the back to hand it to him. Kind of awkward.

Big Show in the ring now with his big chair from TLC to brag about beating Sheamus. As he gets booed he asks what he has to do for everyone to understand that he is the most dominant wrestler in the WWE. The crowd chants “boring” and he starts berating them before Sheamus interrupts to tell Show he has no regrets about their match. He calls it one of the most brutal matches he’s ever been in (just like he did two months ago). Between lines a fan yells “You suck Sheamus!” He says Big Show was the better man and deserves the title. He then shakes hands with Big Show and starts to walk out, when Big Show tells him to get to the back and calls him a potato eating Irishman. Sheamus then loses it and takes him down, hitting him with the giant chair before knocking him out with a Brogue Kick. Didn’t they do this same act last month? Forget all that because Dolph Ziggler just came out with the briefcase and Big Show is out cold! He tries to get the match to start but  Cena come out and attacks Ziggler before anything can get started. He throws him into the barriers walks back up the ramp. We were so close to having Ziggler take the World Heavyweight Championship. Pretty heelish move by Cena. Backstage Ziggler is demanding Vickie Guerrero to do something about Cena, but all Vickie wants to know is what is going on between him and AJ since TLC. Dolph confirms with Vickie that their “relationship” is over, and that her jealousy is getting “tired, old, and just plain ugly” just like her (BURN!). Vickie decides to put Ziggler in a match with AJ against Cena, and Vickie is going to be Cena’s partner. Great. More lady drama.

Enter Sandman

On to 3MB in a six man tag match against Alberto Del Rio, Miz, and since they are in Philadelphia where ECW was born, Tommy Dreamer! This is turning into the tag team version of Slater’s legend run. Needless to say, ECW chants are pretty strong tonight. First for Heyman, and now for Dreamer. He looks pretty good out there. Puts some finish on all of his blows. He also got censored for saying “son of a bitch.” Then with all of 3MB outside the ring, Dreamer jumps off the top rope and takes out the whole team. Dreamer never got enough of a shot in WWE. 3MB controls the middle of the match with Miz taking the punishment. It takes a while too. Occasionally Miz gets a chance to tag out but he keeps getting stopped. Finally Del Rio gets the hot tag and he works on Slater. He shoves McIntyre into the announce table but the camera never shows it. Meanwhile Del Rio has Slater set up for the arm breaker but Dreamer begs to be tagged in. Alberto abides and Tommy plants Slater with a DDT to win the match. Match of the night so far but mainly just because it actually went longer than three minutes.

Sheamus out again, this time to announce the winner of the Newcomer of the Year award that he won three years ago. The nominees are Antonio Cesaro, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow and Ryback. I’d have to guess that it’s Ryback, even though to me it’s Sandow. He’ll be my new guy when Ziggler gets too big and he isn’t as cool to root for anymore. That’s coming soon by the way (don’t worry Dolph, you’ll always be my guy). Finally I get one right. He couldn’t come out for his hashtag award, but he comes out for this. He quotes Owen Hart, saying “enough is enough, and it’s time for a change.” He then declares that he is that change and gets a “Feed me more” chant going. He’s shown more personality tonight than he has in his entire career. That is the first major step in making him more than a one note wonder.

The second step is having him in face better opponents and he gets a shot at that now with a match against Cesaro. He says that the voting is rigged (DUH) because he is stronger and smarter than Ryback, and he’s a champion. Cesaro jumps right in with an uppercut but Ryback answers with a Lou Thesz press. With “Goldberg” chants in full force Ryback holds Cesaro up for a suplex just like Goldberg did with the Jackhammer. Cesaro responds with a spine buster and goes for the Neutralizer but Ryback power out of it and hits a spine buster of his own. Ryback taunts for the meathook clothesline, but Cesaro sees it coming and just rolls out of the ring (everyone should do this). Ryback comes down and throws Cesaro back in with a gorilla press but Antonio just rolls his way out on the other side and leaves the ring with his United States Championship. Ryback wins by countout and is not happy about it.

Still can’t get over the hair

Jim Ross along with Mean Gene Oklerlund and Ricky The Dragon Steamboat to announce the Match of the Year award. The nominees are Triple H versus the Undertaker at WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar versus John Cena at Extreme Rules, Sheamus versus Big Show at Hell in a Cell, and Rock versus Cena at WrestleMania. I’d personally vote for Sheamus/Big Show, but I think Rock/Cena will win. Of course I’m wrong again because it’s Undertaker versus Triple H. Triple H is actually in the house to accept the award, haircut and all! He looks like a totally different person with that hair. After a heavy “We want ‘Taker” chant, he says that match gave him the opportunity to be part of something truly special along with Michaels and Undertaker. Triple H then confirms that we have not heard the last of the Undertaker. BOMBSHELL! This of course doesn’t necessarily mean that he will be at this year’s WrestleMania, but that has to be the assumption right? There has been a lot of talk over whether or not he can go and who he could face. The front runner seems to be CM Punk, which would make for an epic moment for him. Lesnar, Ryback and dare I say, Sting have all been rumored as possible opponents. Punk seems to be the most realistic. It would be the ultimate showcase for his talents and can further catapult him into legendary status. The same could be said for Ryback but it just wouldn’t be the same type of exhibition. Lesnar makes sense dating back to their beef when Lesnar was in UFC, and of course Sting has always wanted to face him. There is a lot to speculate on but it’s good to know that the Undertaker has at least one more match in him.

Backstage the Shield is beating up Tommy Dreamer, tossing him around the garage. Somehow Ricardo Rodriguez is the first to defend him and he gets beat up for his troubles. I guess Del Rio will be joining the fight against Shield next.

Time for the main event mixed gender tag match. AJ comes out first (no she’s not in Ziggler gear) and demands that a ladder be set up in the middle of the ring. She climbs to the top of the ladder and says that people have been asking her why she screwed Cena (no, not that way) at TLC. Before she can actually say why however, Vickie interrupts to talk trash, followed by Ziggler and Cena making their entrances. “Ziggler’s better” fills the crowd and Cena once again can’t help but smirk while Ziggler shakes it off. They start the match off, Ziggler gets an armlock on Cena but John powers out of it and Dolph tags in AJ. Vickie comes in and it turns into a stupid cat fight until AJ gets up and leaves the ring. Dolph goes after Cena, Vickie gives Dolph a dirty look and leaves the ring as well. So now the ladies are gone and it’s just Cena versus Ziggler, which is how it outta be. No one wants to see AJ fight Vickie. Ziggler escapes an Attitude Adjustment and hits a jumping DDT and delivers a flurry of elbows. Ziggler then goes for a superkick but misses and Cena applies the STF. Meanwhile AJ comes back to ringside with Big E Langston (whoever that is) from NXT (oh okay). Langston walks into the ring like a robot and drops Cena like a bad habit. Cena wins via DQ and Ziggler just looks confused while AJ stands outside laughing. The show ends with AJ skipping around Langston with Cena still laid out.

The Nation of Domination called. They want their look back

A very strange and unsuspenseful ending to a very underwhelming Raw. If it wasn’t for Flair, Dreamer and the Undertaker announcement there would have been no reason to watch it at all. Lets hope better things are around the corner. Since Royal Rumble is next through there doesn’t have to be a normal progression of feuds going into a PPV. Most of the roster will be in the rumble aside from a few other matches so they might not bother too much. It is all about Rock/Punk anyway. There is the 20th anniversary of Raw coming up on January 14th, so some big things can be expected to happen then, but otherwise a lot of place holders could be left until the PPV after rumble.

With the exception of a few surprise returns from past WWE Superstars for whom it may or may not have been a one-time appearance, there were only three great segments/matches from the entire three-hour episode of WWE Raw, with two other matches being worth watching and the rest of the show being a complete waste of time. Those three great parts were the return of The Nature Boy Ric Flair, the segment between Big Show and Sheamus and the main event match of the night.

Initially, Ric Flair returned to present the Superstar Of The Year Award, which inexplicably and unsurprisingly went to John Cena (as CM Punk would later point out, Cena actually had one of the worst years of his career whereas he was WWE Champion for literally the entire year). Anyway, after presenting Cena with the award, Cena said that out of respect he was going to give the award to Flair, who is one of the greatest WWE Superstars of all time. This brought out WWE Champion CM Punk, who correctly pointed out that Flair was not even in the WWE for 50 weeks out of the year and that no Superstar in the entire WWE was more deserving of the award than him. Punk says that he could still kick Flair’s ass, even with just one good leg, and Flair calls his bluff and makes his way down to the ring. Punk and Paul Heyman follow, and although Punk attacks Flair with his crutches to initially gain the upper hand, there is little he can do on one leg and Flair eventually sends him out of the ring and then puts Heyman in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Suddenly, The Shield appear in the crowd and Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns make their way to the ring. Kane and Daniel Bryan attempt to help Flair but The Shield takes out all three men and are about to put Flair through a table when Ryback makes the save, taking out all three members of The Shield and sending them back into the crowd.

As for Ric Flair’s return, it was a huge shock as I hadn’t read any reports or rumors online about it, and also taking into the account the lawsuit between TNA and WWE that was supposedly preventing WWE from hiring any former TNA wrestlers or personnel. But it was absolutely phenomenal to see Flair back in a WWE ring and hopefully we will see him on TV on a regular basis as part of a prolonged storyline, albeit hopefully as a manager and not an active wrestler (Flair always said that even though he wrestled in TNA he considered his retirement match at Wrestlemania 27 to be his last match so hopefully he keeps his word and does not wrestle in WWE).

Later in the night, World Heavyweight Champion Big Show came out with his title in one hand and the giant chair from last night in the other and bragged out defeating Sheamus with the chair the previous night at TLC. Sheamus came out but instead of attacking Big Show he shook his hand and congratulated him on winning the match, but when Big Show started insulting Sheamus, Sheamus attacked Big Show and ultimately laid him out with the giant chair. As Sheamus left the ring, Dolph Ziggler ran down to it with his Money In The Bank briefcase and was about to cash it in on an unconscious Big Show when John Cena ran down and attacked Ziggler as retribution for the previous night (although he should really be made at AJ Lee and not Ziggler, unless the two were in cahoots, which even at the end of Raw we still are not sure about).

Earlier in the night, when AJ Lee and John Cena won the Slammy Award for Kiss of the Year, AJ came out to accept the award from Vickie Guerrero, who was the presenter, and the two of them started to fight and had to be broken up by Ziggler. AJ then jumped in Ziggler’s arms and started kissing him, with Ziggler kissing right back (making Ziggler both a better wrestler and kisser than John Cena). So when Ziggler complained to Vickie about Cena costing him the chance to cash in the MITB briefcase, Vickie did not care, and when Ziggler insulted her (calling her and her jealousy old and tired) she booked a mixed tag team match between herself and Cena against Ziggler and AJ.

This mixed tag team match was the main event of the night (and unfortunately, despite starting at 10:50pm, was the only match of the night that actually interested me). Ziggler and Cena started things off but as soon as Cena got the upper hand Ziggler takked in AJ, forcing Vickie to come in and the two of them to start fighting. As soon as Vickie got the upper hand, AJ tagged in Ziggler and left the match, prompting Vickie to leave as well. This left Cena and Ziggler to face each other one-on-one, but AJ quickly returned with a new Superstar who we have never seen before with her (anyone who watches NXT on Hulu Plus, and you all should as it’s consistently an awesome show, would recognize him as Big E Langston, a wrestler who demands that the referee always count to five when he is pinning his opponent). Langston  hit the ring and laid out Cena. WWE Raw comes to a close with Langston standing over Cena, AJ skipping around him and Ziggler in the corner looking like he has no idea what’s going on.

So those were the three segments/matches that were very good if not great. The other match that was good was a six-man tag team match pitting 3MB (Heath Slater, Jindar Mahal & Drew McIntyre) against new face Superstars The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and their surprise partner in the returning Tommy Dreamer. While any match or segment featuring 3MB is almost guaranteed to be a complete train wreck, turning The Miz and Del Rio face makes them even more interesting and exciting than they were before and it was great to see ECW legend Tommy Dreamer return to, and kick ass in, the ring. As you would expect, Dreamer got the win for his team when he hit his DDT on Slater. The other match of the night that was watchable was the Divas match between Divas Champion Eve Torres and Kaitlyn (who was seeking revenge on Eve for costing her the #1 Contenders Battle Royal the night before). Although the match was short, it showcased some amazing power from Kaitlyn, who I’ve said all along is easily the strongest Diva on the roster, and saw Kaitlyn pin the champion which now technically makes her the new #1 contender for the title.

Here is a very quick rundown, in chronological order, of the rest of terrible matches that were on this debacle of a show:

Rey Mysterio defeated Damien Sandow in a match that would have been better if it had lasted more than two minutes.

Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston defeated Tensai.

The Great Khali defeated David Otunga.

Brodus Clay (who is in contention with Tensai for biggest fall from the top in 2012) defeated JTG (who I forget is even on the roster).

Cody Rhodes defeated Sin Cara in a match that, like the match between their respective tag team partners, would have been better if it had lasted more than two minutes.

Ryback defeated United States Champion Antonio Cesaro via countout when Cesaro left the match (the only good thing to come out of this match was the fact that Ryback did not squash the US Champion).

As for The Slammy Awards, for some of the winners I seriously questioned the legitimacy of the online voting and for others, assuming that the voting is legitimate, I questioned the intelligence of the WWE fans who actually voted for said winners. Also, if Michael Cole explained to me one more time how to download an app to my phone, I was going to throw my phone at the TV. Here is a quick rundown on the winners, in the order in which they were presented:

Most Shocking Moment – Kofi Kingston’s handstand to avoid being eliminated at the Royal Rumble. I voted for CM Punk hitting The Rock with a GTS on Raw 1,000, which I thought was more “shocking” than a handstand. Smackdown GM Booker T presented the award and before the winner was announced The Boogeyman made his return to the WWE by smashing a clock on his head and eating some worms (I really hope this return was not just for one night).

Comeback Of The Year – Jerry Lawler. While Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho and and DX were all really cool comebacks, Jerry Lawler did come back from having a heart attack and actually dying, so I’ll give this one to him even though DX was more of a surprise (we had no idea it was going to happen) and Lesnar was just awesome (even though the Internet dirt sheets spoiled the surprise of his return). Also, the New Age Outlaws presented this award, which made me wish so much that Road Dogg and Billy Gunn would come back as a full-time tag team.

Kiss Of The Year – AJ Lee & John Cena, beating out the other nominees of AJ Lee & CM Punk, AJ Lee & Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee & Kane (do you see the pattern?).

Superstar of the Year – I already said all there is to say about John Cena winning this award. As a side note, he beat out CM Punk (who should have won), Big Show and Sheamus.

LOL Moment Of The Year – The Rock making fun of John Cena in Boston. I remember that promo very well and I remember hating every second of it and thinking it was not funny at all. And, of course, The Rock did not show up to accept his award despite challenging for the WWE Championship in six weeks at the Royal Rumble. The segment that should have won hands-down was the anger management therapy sessions with Daniel Bryan and Kane, which collectively were the funniest segments we’ve seen on WWE TV in a long time, not just 2012.

Hashtag Of The Year – Ryback for #FeedMeMore, beating out the Superstar who presented the award (with Layla) and should have won, social media giant Zack Ryder.

Newcomer Of The Year – Ryback, of course, despite the fact that he debuted two years ago as Skip Sheffield and so he is technically not a “newcomer.” I thought Damien Sandow or Antonio Cesaro should have won.

Match Of The Year – This was the only award of the entire night that I completely agreed with as the End Of An Era Hell In A Cell Match from Wrestlemania 28 between The Undertaker and Triple H won (in my mind, The Rock vs. John Cena, also at Wrestlemania 28, would be a close second). Mean Gene Okerlund, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and Jim Ross presented the award, which was accepted by Triple H (sporting a shaved head). At the end of his acceptance speech, Triple H uttered the best line of the night when he said “You have not seen the last of The Undertaker.”