Originally posted on Blogger.

The Protector/Tom-Yum-Goong (拳霸2) is a 2005 film out of Thailand. The movie stars Tony Jaa.

Tony Jaa as Kham, an elephant protector by trade. One of his elephants is stolen on his watch and he goes a looking for him. A clue leads him to Sydney. Kham goes looking for the elephant in Sydney and all hell breaks loose. Fighting pretty much last the rest of the movie.

This was an absurb movie. There’s a prolonged fight sequence where Tony Jaa kicks the @$$ of 70+ people. But not all at once, but one at a time and occasionly, two. He also fights people with different martial arts skills.

This is a Tony Jaa movie. Don’t worry about the story, just watch the action.

Originally posted on Blogger.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (拳霸) is a 2003 film out of Thailand. The movie stars Tony Jaa and propelled him to international stardom. First in Thailand, than through the rest of Asia and than to the rest of the world.

The head of a Buddha is stolen from a rural village. Ting is tasked with finding and returning the head to the village. Ting heads for the bright lights of Bangkok. Ting meets up with a former monk from his village there, Humlae. Together, they search for the head and all hell breaks lose as they close in on the guys behind the thief. Ting takes on anyone and everyone that’s in his way.

I recently watched this via TNT. It was the English dubbed version, but it was all action. From the bar scene to the tuk tuks. I remember back in 2003 when I watched a Chinese dubbed version of this. It was recommended to me at my local rental place. I was blown away because it reminded me so much of 1980s style HK films. Where the action was fast and furious. Where the story was an afterthought. It was also my first glimpse into muay thai being demonstrated to the extent it was. Tony Jaa was given many labels, such as the next Bruce/Jackie/Jet. However, Tony isn’t Chinese, but Thai. I didn’t like the labels. I would have liked Tony Jaa, this decades answer to bone crunching martial arts!

The Sanctuary is set in the year 1897, a clan successfully broke into the royal palace of Thailand to steal the Royal Antiques which the King intended to give to America as a reward for its help in negotiations that avoided Thai territorial cuts. They broke in, but didn’t make it out alive. Before they died they hid the valuables somewhere in the palace. Fast forward 110 years or so, the descendants of that palace guard, twin-brother fighters, are digging in the yard of a Buddhist temple and one of them unearths the antique valuables. Which proceeds to start a manhunt trying to retrieve the prize.

You’ll notice that in a lot of recent Thai action movies, the plot is set up by some evil baddies trying to steal some Thai treasure. Hey, it works, as seen in every movie starring Tony Jaa so far. The trailer highlights lots of slow motion and a few interesting stunts that are completely undermined by lack of impact. For example: A guy goes flying out a window, bounces off a sign and is about to fall ten feet onto a car….then we cut to three different angles before finally ending on a close up of the car as the guy hits it. I have a funny feeling that it may have been done in one take, but the excitement and “Holy Shit!” factor is lost if you play it up as a trick in cinematic editing.

The exposition in between the action is also sparked by enjoyable performances and even a girlfight between the two veteran Thai actresses. Since the movie is just a platform for crazy martial arts anyway, why spend too much time coming up with an original plot? The fight scenes are awesome and if you enjoy a good violence movie then this should be right up your alley.  The film co-stars Russell Wong as the evil American sent to steal the precious Thai stuff. I’ve been a fan of Russell Wong since his “Vanishing Son” days, but unfortunately he’s been typecast as the evil martial arts guy in way too many action movies.

This movie was pretty sick with the fighting moves but too much Tony Jaa like movements makes it feel like a rip off film. I don’t really have too much to say about this film, you’re either going to hate it or love it and I didn’t particularly love it. The action scenes of course save it from being a total dud. Bootleg it if you can and just skip to the action sequences. Thailand needs to step its game up if they want their movies to keep appearing on this website.

A South Korean woman filed a civil lawsuit against well-known action actor and director Panom Thatchakorn Yirum or Ja Panom, alleging him with failing to repay a debt of Bt1 million. Aun Hee Park had her lawyer, Thanakorn Thewarotorn, file the suit.

The suit states that Panom borrowed the money from the woman for Bt1 million and promised to return it when his movie, Ong Bak 2, was screened. The suit said the director refused to repay the money when asked to several times. The court scheduled the plaintiff and defendant to meet at 1 pm at the court on January 25 to see whether they would be able to reach an out-of-court settlement or not.

The Nation

Originally posted on Blogger.

Ong Bak 2:The Beginning (拳霸3) is a 2008 film out of Thailand. The movie stars Tony Jaa.

The movie is a revenge movie in essence. Tony Jaa’s character is Tien. Tien is the son of one of the 4 protectors of the emperor. The lead advisor has put into place steps to take over as emperor. As part of those steps, the lead advisor kills Tien’s whole family. Tien escapes and somehow joins a group of pirates. These pirates are different though. They train in many different forms of martial arts. Tien eventually learns them all and becomes the best of the best among the pirates. The leader of the pirates wants to transfer power to Tien and retire. However, Tien has revenge on his mind and sets out to kill the lead advisor, who is now the emperor. Tien is then tracked down by the son when he succeeds in killing him. A climatic battle against the royal guard ensues.

The movie is not even 90 minutes, but seems that at least 75% of it is fighting. If you like to see fights, this is it. The fighting is intense and bone crushing.

The movie’s storyline bares no relation to the first Ong Bak. In reality, they should have named this film something else.

The reason its called 拳霸3 in Taiwan, is because Tom Yum Goong was labeled 拳霸2 in Taiwan.

Ong Bak 2, una de las peores películas, con uno de los peores finales de las películas más esperadas de estos tiempos (pero con una de las mejores historias de locura, mágia negra y secuestros en su producción) nos dejó un muy mal sabor de boca. Ong Bak 1 era una gran película, no aspiraba a mucho, la idea era ver a Tony Jaa dando saltos y pegando leches dolorosas, y por eso la aplaudimos.

Ong Bak 2 era pretenciosa y sin sentido.

Pues bien, se está preparando Ong Bak 3. Y allí donde Ong Bak 2 no era una continuación de Ong Bak 1, ahora Ong Bak 3 sí que continúa directamente de la segunda parte.

Atención: se supone que aquí hay spoilers. Eso sí, son spoilers teniendo en cuenta en cómo han entendido ellos el final, por que lo que dicen, no pega con la película. En fin allá vamos:

Ong Bak 3 empieza cuando Tien (Tony Jaa) ha perdido sus habilidades de lucha y a su amado padrastro. Tien es devuelto a la vida con ayuda de Pim (Primrata Dechudom) y Mhen (Petchai Wangkamlao) y los habitantes de Kana Khone. Gracias a la meditación que le enseña Phra Bua (Mirutti Sirijanya) Tien alcanza el “Nathayut”. Y sus habilidades serán puestas a prueba de nuevo cuando sus rivales, la guardia del Rey de la Armadura Dorada, los asesinos de negro, y Bhuti Sangkha (Dan Chupong, el “hombre cuervo”) vuelven a por él.

En fin, que todo lo que no tenía lógica en la película (como el hombre cuervo) vuelven para no explicar nada. Espero que al menos esta vez las coreografías sean más espectaculares…

Por cierto, sí, el poster es Tony Jaa vs Tony Jaa “La más grande batalla será…contra él mismo”…

In the first big martial-arts sequence in Raging Phoenix, it’s the athletic Kazu who fends off a gang of guys on blade-equipped pogo-stilts. Let that last sentence really sink in before you continue on with this review. This movie is very unique and will surprise the hell out of you.  Following her debut as a mute kickboxer in 2008 hit ‘Chocolate‘, pint-sized Thai dynamo Yanin Visimitananda proves she can handle dialogue as well as fists and feet. She combines new stunning martial art styles and love story to be the ultimate action-romance film. The unique twist is this film is a hybrid of fighting and hip hop dancing. Of course we all know the formula to movies like this; paper thin plot that leads from elaborate fight scene to elaborate fight scene. And there’s definitely no reason to complain about that.

One day her life changes completely when some gangsters try to kidnap her and she narrowly escapes with the help of Sanim, a sad looking stranger with a painful past. Sanim and his friends, having had loved ones abducted, have joined together to break the gang of kidnappers. She finds a warehouse where a load of abducted girls are being kept, and unleashes the fury of her drunken hip-hop martial arts. Jeeja’s character convincingly embraces the art and gives us something awesome to marvel at in every frame.

The angle for Raging Phoenix is that the director and choreographer have come up with an original form of combat by combining breakdancing with Muay Thai with lots of alcoholic consumption. This decision takes out a lot of energy out of the movie, leaving audiences with a martial arts flick that is enjoyable in patches only. Credit for keeping a pretty silly premise alive goes to the appealing cast, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

In spite of the decent cinematography and plenty breath-taking backdrops, all of the carefully choreographed fight action is bogged down by an uncomfortable packaging that tries to cover romance. Things do pick up in the final 30 minutes, when the good guys finally discover the hidden lair of the baddies. Then before you know it, the film comes to a close and you’re left wanting more. Let’s hope Jeeja Yanin’s next project is much more fluid and will bring her into Hollywood mainstream because this Thai chicks talent is more marketable than Tony Jaa and his Ong Bak series, if you ask me.

The long wait is over, Tony Jaa is finally back! This time around it’s a martial arts epic that has Jaa displaying various different styles and a larger budget. The movie itself isn’t ground breaking, but if you take it for what it is, a martial arts flick and nothing more, you may be satisfied with the outcome. 2 ½ pitchforks.

Well first off, let me say that I love Tony Jaa. I fully believe that he will fill the void for amazing martial arts talent that has appeared due to the aging of Jackie Chan and Jet Li. The talents and skills he has showcased in his previous films, Ong Bak and The Protector, have already won me over. His Muay Thai style is refreshing and innovative by martial arts film standards and his stunt skills are a near rival to that of Jackie Chan’s (as close as any sane man can get anyways). And I don’t think anyone can accomplish the aerial feats he does. As an on-again, off-again martial artist myself, I can see through the fake-for-film moves and the truly impressive and effective. In those films, Jaa delivered. Unfortunately, this is not Ong Bak or The Protector.

Ong Bak 2 has a couple good things going for it: 1- Great set and productions design; and 2- Decent cinematography. That’s it. Truthfully though, this film was a failure. It had an interesting premise (albeit complicated, convoluted and confusing) that was poorly executed. The story had so many starts and stops that I was well beyond mental frustration after merely 15 minutes. Constant new elements kept getting thrown in to the plot and ultimately stunted any growth of character or story. Once anything was started, all of a sudden there was another flashback sequence that had nothing to do with what was going on trying to force new elements into the situation and ultimately spoiling my interest. Basically the movie goes from A to Z via Arabic. If the previous sentence made no sense to you, then you know how I feel after watching this movie.

Besides the story and plot being pointless and frustrating at times, there were greater problems with editing. There were more slow-mos in this movie than in Slowpoke Rodriguez’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slowpoke_Rodriguez) acting reel if it was put together by Michael Bay and John Woo. Ok, that’s excessive, and obscure, my bad. The real problem was that the slow-mos were poorly chosen and lasted way too long. Also editing in some of the “action” sequences was so bad that you could rarely tell what was going on, or even worse than that, why it was going on.

In Ong Bak he searched for a sacred relic. In Ong Bak 2 he searches for a plotline.

The music is also a constant nuisance. It was often building up against the emotions displayed and reaching crescendos during stagnant moments and being utterly distracting. It was like watching a Spanish soap opera and if you don’t know what I mean, I envy you. The music itself is kind of nice actually, but hey, “Eye of the Tiger” is a nice song, but you don’t want it playing during the shower scene of Psycho. Ok that would actually be funny, bad example, but you catch my drift.

Probably the most disappointing of all is the action. Now some good action can make me forgive and forget a lot of bad plot, as long as the end justifies the means. In this sense, Ong Bak 2 played more like Ong Bak Jr. The true action scenes where few and of those few, only a fraction were worthwhile. I mean around 3.

I think much of the films downfall had to do with Jaa Co-directing with Panna Rittikrai, who does great work. I could delve deeper into this, but you know where I’m going. And why call it Ong Bak 2? It didn’t have anything to do with Ong Bak!

Where Jaa’s previous films provided a swift, jolting knee to the face sending a rush of excitement down your spine while simultaneously clearing your sinuses, this film is more of a slap in the face. Now I have been waiting for quite a while for Jaa’s next film, so maybe my anticipation has set the bar really high. I would say judge for yourself, but really, don’t hurt yourself. You can take my word for it. 1 pitchfork.

Ong-bak 2 è un film di arti marziali del 2008, diretto e interpretato da Tony Jaa

Leggi altre notizie su: | Azione | Tony Jaa | Pongpat Wachiranbujong | Nirut Sirichanya

I just watched Warrior King, a Thai martial arts movie featuring ‘new Bruce Lee’ Tony Jaa on fine form as a young man on a roaring rampage of revenge after his two elephant friends are stolen from his village in Thailand and shipped to Sydney, Australia, by a crazy woman with a whip (no, I couldn’t make this up).

The film is absolutely dreadful – plot, acting, editing, everything – but HOLY CRAP, WHO CARES? Every time a fight scene starts it suddenly becomes the most amazing thing in the history of the world. Just as in his previous Muay Thai jawdropper, Ong-Bak, Tony Jaa fights without wires or CGI or stunt doubles or anything even resembling camera trickery: it’s all real.

And nowhere is it better displayed than here, in one continuous shot – no cuts at all – which lasts almost four entire minutes and is probably one of the greatest fight scenes you’ll ever see. The quality isn’t 100% but I just watched this on DVD with a crystal clear picture and can assure you, IT’S REAL.

Enjoy…

We of Wocview like to display our knowledge of languages. In this case we have Tony Jaa teaching Thai in a Hong Kong interview with 2 HK comedians, amongst who we have the HK queen of goofyness Sandra Ng. At first Tony seems lost, but when he sees the humor in it, he plays along with the fun. This video is for Cantonese speakers only. The humor is that the Thai word for color is “See” which sounds exactly the same as the Cantonese word for “Shit”.

bron: www.youtube.com

Black Mask 1996

Director: Daniel Lee

Writers: Tsui Hark, Koan Hui, Teddy Chan and Joe Ma

Starring Jet Li, Ching Wan Lau, Karen Mok, Francoise Yip and Kong Lung

    Jet Li is one of the premier names in the modern martial arts films toady and I think he is only eclipsed by Tony Jaa.  Black Mask was the first Li film I had seen after his American debut in Lethal Weapon 4 and I was mesmerized by the way he moved in that, that I went looking for other films of his and the first 2 I found were this and Fist of Legend.  Everyone should know Fist of Legend is a masterpiece, but I also have a special place in my heart for this one.  It is a film with some great action scenes and is also very funny and witty.  The characters of Li and Lau really make this film.  The banter these two convey to each other is priceless.  The fight scenes were choreographed by the same man who did the fight sequences for the Matrix films, Woo-ping Yuen.  The film has a very comic book superhero feel to it and that really works to its advantage.

    The plot basics are this, Michael (Li) was a test subject of a secret program to create super soldiers and after the program was scrapped he went into hiding and is now working as a librarian, making no waves and is friends with a hard nosed cop, Rock (Lau).  Everything is nice and quiet for Michael until, a vicious string of gangland murders have the tale tell signs of his former comrades in the program.  Michael decides to take action, but does so in disguise wearing a black mask, and the papers dub him “The Black Mask”.  Soon his former compatriots discover he is around and want to bring him back into the fold.  Michael will have none of this, so the Commander (Lung) sets a trap for him using his friend Rock and it is now up to Michael to save him and put an end once and for all to his sadistic comrades.

    This is a great action film that starts heavily charged and doesn’t slow down till the end credits roll.  Lee’s directions is great, he has a eye for great action scenes and stages them well.  He also is very good with the character scenes, even when there is no action you are rooted to the screen.  The script is very good as well, it uses all the standard devices of the super hero genre very well.  Though it also use the characters very well and you actually empathize with them, not always a easy thing to do in a action film.  The cast is great, Li and Lau have great chemistry and I especially love the scene in the bathroom where Lau tries to get Li to fight.  Mok was very funny as the romantic lead for Li too and Lung is very despicable as the main heavy of the story.  The action and fight scenes are staged flawlessly and you are mesmerized with every move that hits your eyes.  It is a shame that Li never did another film for this series, as I would have loaded to have seen more.  I think the best action scene in the film is where he is both fighting his ex lover and trying to save his new romantic interest at the same time.  It was amazing how well choreographed that sequence was.  I highly recommend this for martial arts fans and fans of films in the super hero genre.

This one gets 4 out of 5 

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NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) – A hit throughout Southeast Asia when it was released last year, “Ong Bak 2″ is a throwback to the kung fu flicks of a previous generation. First-rate action scenes alternate with florid melodrama, and jaw-dropping stunts try to compensate for saccharine plot twists. An excellent vehicle for martial-arts champ Tony Jaa (the screen name for Panom Yeerum), “Ong Bak 2,” opening Friday (October 23) from Magnet Releasing, will please action fans while drawing barely a glance from mainstream viewers.

The original “Ong Bak,” which also starred Jaa, was a thriller set in present-day Bangkok and dealt with smuggling, poaching, drugs and slavery. While it hits on many of the same topics, “Ong Bak 2″ takes place in the 15th century and is built around a political feud between decadent rulers and their opponents.

Jaa plays Tien, forced on the run as a child after his parents are murdered, and then raised in a rebel gang led by Chernung (Sorapong Chatree). Headquartered in a majestic jungle hideout, the Garuda Wing Cliff rebels operate much like Robin Hood’s men, staging raids on local despots and liberating enslaved peasants. Tien works his way up to leader of the gang, then sets out on his own quest for vengeance.

It takes almost a half-hour for Jaa to appear on screen, and for large stretches his acting, including his fighting, feels a bit perfunctory. Kung fu aficionados will appreciate the sequences showing Tien’s martial arts training, captured in loving detail.

The action is surrounded by impressive filmmaking. Jaa jumps across a herd of elephants, leads attacks on enormous castles and takes part in elaborate ethnic dances, supported all the while by strong production design, wonderful costumes and assured editing.

Like the original, “Ong Bak 2″ leads up to a slam-bang finale in which Jaa takes on dozens of opponents in a fight to the finish. Here’s where his skill and dedication come into focus. Even the most jaded viewer can’t help but be astonished at Jaa’s athleticism as he leaps, spins, flips and at one point takes a three-story fall.

You are not likely to see a better display of martial arts combat on screen for some time, even if you have to put up with some excruciating contrivances to get to it.

Alright, I won’t even kid myself on this one, but The Protector is one mess of a movie, with lots of stupidity. A Thai man goes to Sydney where, for some reason nearly everyone is Thai, and takes on people who never seem to think of using guns. The basic premise is Tony Jaa kicks ass, but specifically he plays Kham, a peaceful Thai entrusted with protecting the king’s elephants.

Anything that can fall down does and anything that runs on fuel explodes. The action set pieces are undeniably spectacular — especially the one in which Jaa wallops his opponents with the elephant bones he’s lashed to his arms. And really, this is why you’re watching the movie to begin with so I guess it does its job to entertain. People don’t watch films like The Protector for a carefully constructed story, they watch to see flying fists, and broken bones.

The heir to Jet Li and Jackie Chan, Tony Jaa is a human special effect, whose breathless stunts are truly jaw-dropping. There is a scene in the film where Jaa character, Kham, works his way up every level of a structure facing a host of villains each time he ascends a floor (similar to Game of Death). The fight sequence that follows features Jaa going up against 30 henchmen and uses various leg holds and arm locks to crackingly snap limbs and break body joints. It’s amazing.

The Protector is not only an  action film, it is also beautiful, with spirituality, humanity and respect for nature at its core. Even those who are not fans of action movies will be amazed at what they’re seeing. I  found myself pausing this movie, rewinding back, and playing forward in slow-motion quite often. This has to be the most violent martial arts film that I have seen in a long time. Go see it!

Recently, Raymond Wong has stepped down as the chairman of Mandarin Films to set up his own film studio which is teaming up with Mainland investors to produce a modern actioner at around HK$150m in mid 2010. The film will be directed by Ringo Lam. Donnie Yen (甄子丹) and Tony Jaa (thaiทัชชกร ยีรัมย์chin东尼嘉) are being invited to star in the film and they would have a series of fights.

[L: Donnie Yen. R: Tony Jaa]

Raymond Wong hopes to unite the two international screen giants despite the high fee of US$3m (HK$23.4m) commanded by Tony Jaa, “I’ll talk about the new firm at a later date. It’d be great to have to the two appear in the same film, but I’ll only talk about it when things are finalised.”

Donnie Yen’s currently filming Wilson Yip’s Ip Man 2 with Sammo Hung, Fan Siu Wong and Huang Xiao Ming.  He recently fainted on the set due to fever and over-exhaustion. He has been discharged from hospital and would resume filming in a day or two.

Bron:www.wu-jing.org,www.newsgd.com, www.brucelee.fr, 21cn [16-09-2009]

We have passes up for grabs to see the action adventure, “Ong Bak 2: The Beginning.” To win your free pass to the advance screening in Washington, DC and Baltimore, MD, you must be a StarAccess movie club member and answer our trivia question below.

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“Ong Bak 2: The Beginning” plot:

Set in the regal times of King Naresuan, Tien (Tony Jaa) is a man who was born into nobility but had it stripped from him after his parents were brutally murdered. During his childhood Tien learned Khon, a form of dance which is usually reserved for royalty. Although he didn’t know it yet, Khon would later prove to be an invaluable aide to him. After seeing his parents murdered at the tender age of 10, Tien is forced to live on the streets where he is eventually captured by a group of thieves who take him in and teach him how to steal and fight.

Tien’s expertise as a thief and fighter grows and it isn’t long before he is made head thief. Then Tien sees something that makes his stomach churn. A competition is being held to find the best knights to serve under the very man who had killed Tien’s parents all those years ago. Tien passes the tests easily and is made Lord Rachasana’s 2nd Knight. Now, he has his opportunity to strike but he will have to use all his skill and ingenuity if he is going to get his revenge on the man who killed his parents.

To make our past distribution more equitable, winners are only eligible to win once every 15 days!

All entrants need to be StarAccess members (if you have already joined, you don’t need to submit another application) AND submit their FULL NAME, your SCREENING MARKET and answer to the following question for a chance to win!

“Who is your favorite cinematic martial artist?

We will contact the winners at the conclusion of the contest.

“Ong Bak 2: The Beginning” opens in theaters on October 23.

Check out the film’s official site

Swe·ding (swee’ding) verb. To express your love for something by imitating it in a way that is obviously an imitation. Especially the act of a fan remaking a beloved film with no budget.

”Ong Bak” se convertirá en trilogía

Foto: Iyara Films/Sahamongkolfilm

LOS ANGELES, 10 Oct. (EUROPA PRESS) -

Tony Jaa ataca de nuevo. El protagonista de una de las sagas de artes marciales más popular de los últimos años tiene intención de convertirla en trilogía y ya prepara ‘Ong Bak 3′.

Tras el sorprendente éxito en 2003 con ‘Ong Bak: El guerrero Muay Thai’ y regresar hace pocos meses con la secuela, Ong Bak 2: La leyenda del Rey Elefante, donde además de ser el protagonista también hizo labores de director, Tony Jaa se prepara de nuevo para llenar los cines de de saltos, piruetas, patadas, rodillazos, puñetazos y mamporros varios a ritmo vertiginoso.

Acción a raudales que podría ver la luz a principios del próximo año pero solo en los cines de Tailandia. Como en las dos entregas anteriores su exportación a otros mercados tendría que esperar un año más y no llegaría a los cines internacionales hasta bien entrado el 2011.

Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to make a concerted effort to rewatch all of my favorite Thai action flicks.  I really think that some of the best action movies made in the last few years have come out of Thailand and I’d like to get ready for the US release of Ong Bak 2, which I’m very excited about.  So here is the list that I’m going to try to watch(Thanks Netflix instant play!) and pretty much in the same order that I watched them the first time :

• Ong Bak Thai Warrior
• The Protector(Tom Yung Gong)
• Chocolate
• Dynamite Warriors
• The Bodyguard
• The Bodyguard 2

That just leaves out Born to Fight and that’s mainly because I don’t own it and it’s not available on instant play.  Also out of all of these movies it’s probably the least awsome(although still has some nice action sequences).

So if anyone is up for it go ahead and watch them as well and we can discuss before I post my reviews!  Just make sure you are in good enough physical condition to deal with this much awesome!

I think we need to toughen things up around here. It’s been a little too dainty lately. And when I came across these two AWESOME bits of news, well, I thought it would be good to share with you sweet little cupcakes. Unless you can’t handle it. CAN YOU HANDLE IT, TWINKLETOES?! MAN UP! GRRRRRRR!!
*smashes guitar*
*breaks Jack Daniels bottle over his head*
* flexes*

Okey dokey, I think we’re ready. This video comes to us from something called Ong Bak 2, which probably means theres’s a movie already out there called Ong Bak 1, or simply just Ong Bak, where awesome stuff happens, but not quite awesome enough, because this was meant to top it, and well, it’s pretty awesome. It stars some dude named Tony Jaa, and he likes to punch and kick stuff. It opens in theatres on Oc. 23rd, so duck.

The second little bit of ass-kickery is that ESPN is putting out what they’re calling the BODY ISSUE, which seems like an excuse to publish pictures of naked athletes. Serena Williams (I think she’s hot, Pete doesn’t), Biba Golic (Hot table tennis player) and my personal favorite, MMA fighter Gina Carano are all featured. Bruins Captain Zdeno Chara is in it too, but we’re going to steer clear of that, ok? Carano is “H-A-W-T” hot. Like, “two-rabid-squirrels-effing-in-a-wool-sock” hot. And she’s topless on the cover. Like so:

Sweet googly-moogly.
She can kick my ass any day.

If you want to check out any more of the nekkid pros’ pictures, go here. But leave me and Gina be.
I’ll be in my bunk.