Firstly, I apologize to my readers for my lack of content, again. This was due to a short hiatus for Christmas spent with family without internet access, I know, life is a cruel mistress.

Secondly, I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and spent time with their families, received the gifts that they wanted and enjoyed the intense Christmas dinner I’m sure is still settling in your stomachs. I’d also like to wish everyone the fondest of wishes for 2010, and I hope it to be as glorious for you as it can be.

To start off the new year however, I’d like to remind and/or notify everyone of the second part of David Tennant’s last episode of Doctor Who. The critically acclaimed tenth doctor, named favorite in the history of Doctor Who, will be departing from our screens on BBC One at 6:40pm on January 1st. If you’re an American viewer, you can catch it on BBC America on January 2nd.

In November of 2008 I began watching movies in front of my PC. It’s now the eve of Christmas 2009. In that time I have watched over 500 titles. Some of these titles have multiple episodes. I have watched complete series of Lost, Heros, Battlestar Galactica, 24, Doctor Who, Torchwood, and so on.

A man needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Due to certain events I am no longer working in the traditional sense of the word, so I consider this to be my job. I don’t get paid, but I do get to watch a lot of movies. I watch on average three movies a day.

My favorite types of movies to watch are classics, war movies, science fiction, horror, film noir and comedy. I guess you’ll learn more about that as this page grows, if you’re interested in that sort of thing.

My friend says I should blog about watching movies, so here goes. Remember all opinions expressed at my own, whether right or wrong. Try not to get upset. If you look on the IMDB boards, you would think that all of humanity has gone insane. Maybe someone should make a movie about that.

My dog likes to watch movies with me, well not watch them rather nap in my lap while I watch them with a blankie over him. Enough for now. Carry on.

2009 has been a really fun year for TV. Lots of good shows returned or debuted. There’s so much exciting stuff to write about, that I’m going to split my year-end post into 3 parts: TV shows, TV characters, and Movies. (I’m saving Movies to the end because there are a whole slew of intriguing movies premiering on Christmas Day, and I gonna be playing catch-up until year-end.) Without further ado, here are my top 10 shows of 2009.

It was tough for me to narrow down to 10 top shows. My top 10 were shows for which I couldn’t wait to see new episodes each week, sometimes I wouldn’t even let my Tivo finish recording them — I’d just watch them live (commercials and all) — now that’s love! Unfortunately, there were also some new stinkers this year and others which are just growing stale. Keep in mind that I don’t watch every show out there, so there is plenty of other bad TV, but I’m just discussing shows that I did follow at one time (or had high hopes for) which did not live up. But first, the good stuff …

My Top 10 TV Shows

Glee

On seeing the Spring pilot episode, the combination of satirical high-school melodrama, tongue-in-cheek comedy, and full-fledged musical numbers was so refreshing and fun-to-watch, that I was hooked. When more episodes finally arrived in the fall, Glee was not only my top must-watch show, but I also fell in love with the songs (now in constant rotation on my iPhone). There’s a lot of hype about this show, but in my opinion it’s well-deserved.

Modern Family

Another hot new show fully deserving of praise: a family sitcom with top-notch writing and acting — humourous and heart-felt, this show never misses a beat. The multi-generational aspect is clever and the family angle actually freshens up the “mockumentary” format. One of the best sitcoms ever. I hope it keeps getting better.

Big Bang Theory

Nerdvana to the max — This show is paradise to a geek like myself. I have loved it since day one and this year it has continued to get better, most notably by bringing hot neighbour Penny deeper into the mix as Leonard’s girlfriend, allowing her to interact more with Sheldon (a match made in sitcom heaven). I have not gone a single episode (in three seasons) without serious laugh-out-loud moments.

Medium

I guess this show’s caught on as much as it’s going to, but now that it’s paired with the surprisingly successful Ghost Whisperer on CBS, I hope Medium will continue to live on. Each week I am dying not only to see what crimes Allison’s psychic dreams uncover, but also what wonderful situations her family has to deal with. All clairvoyance aside, this is still one of the well-portrayed families on TV.

True Blood

Season one of HBO’s southern vampire drama was pretty good, but season two was off-the-hook. Not only did it jump deeper into the mythology (based on a book series), but it went off the deep end in terms of wildness and craziness. Where else would you find shape-shifters, human slaves, anti-vampire cults, a pagan demi-goddess, all culminating in a town-wide bacchanal?

Drop Dead Diva

This show was a surprise. Aspiring model Deb has a car accident and her spirit is accidentally sent into the body of lawyer Jane. The premise is not the best, but it made for some interesting, yet light-hearted, drama. Not only did this show reincarnate one of my favourite series, Ally McBeal, with its quirky-yet-sentimental court cases; it also really came into its own (thanks in no small part to its charming lead, played by newcomer Brooke Elliot).

Lost

What more can be said about this sci-fi crossover mega-hit? This year it really embraced the time-travel and sent the Oceanic gang back to the 70s, as well as starting to unravelling some of the story-knots that had been tied over the seasons. Each week I eagerly followed where each episode would take me. Despite the “answers” that were revealed, there was still a super-deep well of character and mystery that remained. This show has really become a class all its own (hence the many attempts to copy its success).

Supernatural

Other shows dabble with apocalypses, but no other show tackles the original, Biblical one, with angels and demons and all. But it’s not all the fire and brimstone that make this show fun to watch (let’s face it, the end times is no barrel of monkeys!) but the relationship between the two Winchester brothers, and the clever (often funny) nature of this show that makes it enjoyable to experience the end of the world.

Torchwood: Children of Earth

OMG, the five episodes of this mini-series were epic, thrilling, scary, tearful, and awesome (not necessarily in that order). No one has ever done an alien invasion story like this one. Even the chilling scenes of children speaking in unison were eerie and captivating at the same time. If you are not a sci-fi fan, you still have to watch this series.

Fringe

While the series has stayed close to the conspiracy-tinged themes of The X-Files, its sci-fi predecessor, where alien abductions and experimentation were the staple for that show, Fringe’s coming war between two alternate realities is really taking things up a notch. The weirdness only continues to bloom and I can’t wait to see how things play out.

Honourable mentions go to five more shows that I look forward to each week: Chuck (the little spy comedy that could); Dollhouse (which only got crazy-good after it was cancelled, shoot!); FlashForward (which may be stumbling over its concept, but I still really enjoy); Better Off Ted (hilarious and well-written corporate sitcom), and Castle (the funnest crime procedural on TV).

My Bottom 5 TV Shows

Heroes

Lo, how the mighty have fallen! There is not a single story line in this multi-arc series that I continue to care about. Also, they got rid of some of my favourite characters, neutered some others, and brought in some new ones that are just ridiculous (yes, I’m talking about the carnival freaks — what is the tattoo lady’s power anyway? human plot device?)

Stargate: Universe

The interwebs are aflutter with geek controversy over this show. Some say that it’s a new, grittier flavour of Stargate that requires an acquired taste. Others (myself included) just think it’s sadly boring and unpleasant to watch. I can’t believe I actually miss the hideous, life-sucking (and fun-sucking) Wraith!

Smallville

I know, I know, this season is supposedly good, but I just can’t bear to watch this show, which is way too long-in-the-tooth for my taste. Maybe it’s the Kryptonian DNA that makes Smallville impossible to kill.

Scrubs: Med School

I didn’t have high hopes for this money-grab continuation of the Scrubs series, but they could have at least made it funny. They are trying too hard to match the old formula and losing the humour in the process. After the neatly-tied season finale, they should have just tagged Scrubs as ”Do not resuscitate”.

Leverage

Season one was great fun, full of clever heists and scams, but then they went and retooled! No recasting or anything (and the change may appear subtle), but the show’s once light humour is now too broad. I liked the way the first season took itself seriously. Now it’s more like a cartoon and every time the characters get into disguises I feel like I’m watching an SNL sketch or something. Why’d they go and mess things up?

So this weekend was the premiere of Dr. Who Water of Mars. I hadn’t seen Planet of the Dead either so I was looking forward to a David Tennant marathon on Saturday but found that I couldn’t watch past the created by Russel T. Davies.

I am angry at myself but more angry at him for ruining something that I use to be able to enjoy with my father. I know that it seems ridiculous but I feel totally disrespected by that man and Julie Gardner. So much so that I really had to shut it off. I couldn’t stomach watching another second of something that obviously care so little about.

I feel that if they had any respect for the show or the fans they would have had more respect in the summer. And I say this knowing that this summers issues where Torchwood related but if they can act like that for Torchwood you know they will act like that for Dr. Who.

My only comfort is the fact that Russell T. Davies won’t be attached to the show come next season. Yeah!

That even rhymes….

Aye…it catched me worse than I thought. I spent 1 whole week in hospital on quarantine. If I wouldn’t had been sick so badly it would have been funny though. Everyone who wanted to enter me room had to wear a mask, gloves and a special coat. I wasn’t supposed to have visitors. So it was quiet lonely.

Well I had me laptop. But it’s still boring if u can’t talk to someone. Me friends were shocked and me family as well (well…I infected them…so they were sick too but not as sick as I was). And then, after a week, I was able to go home. First thing I did, was looking for Season 3 and 4 of Doctor Who. Bcs in hospital I watched Season 1 and 2. Over and over again. And Torchwood. Season 1-3…They were saving me from boredom. And aye! I found Doctor Who! With the christmas specials. Now all I have to do is waiting for the this year christmas special. I really look forward to it…..

He’s faster than the master….

Remembering the sci-fi episodes which had us on the edge of our seats, rolling with laughter and weeping with joy

At the end of each year, it is popular to be inundated with top ten lists of just about everything: the best television shows, the best actors, the best quotes, and just the best of the best.  So rather than just compile a list of ten shows or episodes that stood out from the pack in this past year, I instead opted to select one episode from each sci-fi television show that stood out and deserves special recognition from 2009.

No matter how anyone felt about it, “Battlestar Galactica – Daybreak: Part 2” was a work of art.  It was the epic episode everyone had been waiting for: where Galactica and its crew mounted one last stand in order to rescue the child Hera from the clutches of the Cylons.  The showdown was tense, nail-biting, painful and never more bittersweet than when the survivors found themselves face to face with the long sought after Earth.  The ensuing good-byes as each parted ways towards their final destiny was even more heart-breaking.  But like those conflicting feelings of each character, those feelings were mirrored by the fans around the globe saying their good-byes to one of the most controversial and lauded shows on television.  Our hearts may grieve, but we were lucky to enjoy such an astounding journey.

The name Joss Whedon has been associated with ground-breaking, cult television for over a decade.  Thus, it was with surprise that when Joss unveiled his latest creation “Dollhouse” —  which left the viewers were stunned by its complacency.  While titillating and thought-provoking, something was clearly missing:  it had no heart.  It was not until the episode  “Belonging” that we felt the chill of recognition.  This was the classic Joss Whedon we all knew and loved.  The episode was the darkest to date as it recounted how Sierra was taken captive and enslaved in the Dollhouse.  But with the least likely of champions at her back, Adelle and Topher, it was a tale of vengeance and awakening conscience.  The show had taken long enough, but once it found its true path, the fans rejoiced.  Another bittersweet moment since it came on the heels of the news of the show’s cancellation.  Another reminder at how fleeting success is in this volatile industry.  Enjoy it while it lasts.

Having now established itself as the popcorn king of summer television, “Eureka” returned this past summer with a delicious confection in the episode “Welcome Back Carter.”  The introduction of Sheriff Andy, a robot in a box, as Carter’s replacement was a clever and humorous look at the pro’s and con’s of having a robot try to take the place of a human being.  Using the Wizard of Oz mythology as a framework, this episode brought back the charm and innocence that has made “Eureka” such a pleasure to watch over the years.

After dazzling everyone with its flash of brilliance in its pilot episode, “FlashForward” raised the ante on itself in the episode “The Gift.”  While investigating the Blue Hand Club (a sly nod to the blue-handed men of Joss Whedon’s long-gone but not forgotten “Firefly” series), Agent Al Gough took matters into his own hands to prove to everyone that their fates were not predetermined as he took his own life.  With the simple act of stepping off a building, his sacrifice was mesmerizing and mind-boggling.  He gave them all back their free-will.  It was powerful and riveting.

Still reeling from the revelation that William Bell had been hiding in an alternate dimension at the end of its first season, “Fringe” embraced its walk on the wild side and gave us the episode, “A New Day in an Old Town” where everything was not as it seemed to be.  Plus, with Olivia suffering from not only her auto accident injuries, but also a fractured psyche, the balance of power shifted as Peter took up the reins of the Fringe Division.  We were also introduced to shape-shifter Charlie, who hid in plain sight just waiting to strike.  With all these surprises, the show rose to a new level of excitement and suspense.

While written off by many critics, none could disagree that in the episode “Cold Snap,” “Heroes” had regained some of its glossy allure.  The episode sparkled from start to finish, offering not only an apparent major death, but also a major revelation.  It was a loving reminder of why we all fell in love with the show in the first place and why it deserves to be remembered for its highs more than its lows.  Seeing Tracy Strauss shatter into a million tiny pieces was tragic and stunning.  Her heart may have been frozen, but she melted ours.

It may have lasted but one short season, but “Life on Mars” (the American version) was a dazzling array of science fiction subtly buried under all those ‘70’s clothes.  In the episode “Let All the Children Boogie,” it embraced its silly decadence and let us glimpse the fun frivolity at the heart of the show.  It also offered a phenomenal cameo by Broadway star Cheyenne Jackson who nearly swept Annie off her feet.  And if you saw the series all the way through, you will know exactly why this show deserves to be on this list.

In an episode that deserves every rave review and award of recognition it can get, “Lost” reminded us why it is king of primetime drama with the episode “The Incident.”  In a searing performance by Elizabeth Mitchell tangling with one nasty nuclear bomb, this episode rose to new heights for the sterling drama.  Flash-forward, flack-back or simply jumping around the timeline, “Lost” deserves its pedestal.  It can bring us to tears or awe us with its audacity.

A newcomer in the sci-fi realm, “Sanctuary” is still finding its legs.  But in a no-holds barred episode “End of Nights, Part 2,” it dared to stake its claim as a contender to be reckoned with.  It took its characters and gave them each the fight of their lives and bravely struck down not one, but two of its own cherished characters.  It felt premature, but still resonated loudly with its willingness to raise the stakes.

Continuing in its quest to fulfill its iconic legacy, “Smallville” ended its eighth season breaking our hearts.  In the episode “Doomsday,” it was not the big explosive battle between Clark Kent and Doomsday that we remember. It was Jimmy Olsen’s swan song and his loving gift for his bride that we cannot forget.  If there was any character who was deemed untouchable, it was Jimmy Olsen and yet “Smallville” dared to change a key piece of mythology by striking him down.  It was brave, gutsy and seemingly unforgivable, yet it pulled it off beautifully.

Another fresh-face rising in the ranks of sci-fi television, “Stargate Universe” tackled the big shoes left by its predecessors and strove to make its own mark in sci-fi television.  In the episode “Justice,” it did just that.  Unmasking Dr. Rush as the villain and leaving him stranded on a deserted planet was shocking and left us breathless for more.  It posed the question: does the crime fit the punishment — and we are still wondering. What an outstanding way to declare its independence and individuality.

Though many would wonder at its place on this list, “Supernatural” has always been a sci-fi sibling challenging the way we see the world around us through a distinct lens of good versus evil.  Departing briefly from its somber theme and tone in the episode “Changing Channels,” it took a decidedly humorous turn and brilliantly unleashed its comedic core.  It invoked side-splitting laughter and we were amused as the Winchester boys danced to the Trickster’s tune in order to woo another minion of evil to their cause.  Proving that laughter is the best medicine, it was a pure devilish delight.

With tenacity rarely seen on television, the scrappy upstart “Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles” sought to secure its place in another iconic legacy.  In the episode “Today is the Day, Part 2,” we glimpsed the man that John Connor would one day become as he stared into Jesse’s lost eyes debating whether her death was justified.  As the series struggled under the weight of its intricate mythology, it never shined so bright as when we saw the lengths they would go to in order to preserve the future of the human race.  Fortunately, it preserved its human heart in the process. 

With echoes of yesterday hanging over it, it was with a dash of surreal ingenuity that the new series “V” stepped outside the long shadow of its predecessor and with the pivotal performances of its lead characters walking the tight-rope of finely tuned writing, the “Pilot” episode captured the imagination of another generation of sci-fi fans.  As it unmasked a familiar face as the enemy, we all gasped with horror and wonder.  It was a nice twist to an old tale and immediately set itself apart as a show to watch.

Last, but not least, the summer sensation “Warehouse 13” made everyone take notice when it ratcheted up the tension and risk-level in the episode “Implosion.”  It was classic sci-fi at its best with implosion grenades and an invisibility sword.  It was also the episode in which the characters finally began working together as a team and the audience became invested in their survival.  It also steadily broke ratings and became the most watch sci-fi show in Syfy’s history.  Not bad for a rookie.
Special mention should be made of Syfy’s “Alice” and the 2 hour pilot episode of “Caprica” which was released early on DVD to whet the fans’ appetites as they mourned the end of their beloved “Battlestar Galactica.” Both offered up unique and intriguing tales on already established science fiction canon and provided glimpses into worlds that we would love to spend more time in.  They also were simply glorious to behold.

It should also be noted that “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood” were omitted, not because they are not the best shows in sci-fi, but because both did not have regular seasons in 2009. Rather both had television events instead.  Thus, it was impossible to pick out the “best episode” when offered as television events or mini-series.  Thus, like “Alice” and “Caprica,” “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood” deserve special recognition for being simply extraordinary in their entirety.

2009 was an epic year in science fiction with no less than a dozen sci-fi shows falling prey to audience erosion and the ever increasing network budget cuts.  But it also saw some extraordinary moments that deserve to be remembered.  So as we look back at 2009, let us remember the good and not just the bad.  Let us remember the moments that made us laugh, made us cry and made us eternally grateful that they happened at all.

Jack and Ianto

I have watched and read and listened and I truly think that Jack has no feelings for Ianto in the love department. I do think that Jack cares for him but not in that romantic way that Ianto apparently does. I feel that Ianto is treated like a doormat and really is over looked.

In Children of Earth Ianto says that Jack tells him nothing and he tells him everything. Jack shares with Gwen. It really seems that Ianto is his shag partner and Gwen is his love. It makes me sad to see Ianto giving and all Jack doing is taking.

If I had my way I think that I would make Ianto more like the Ianto in Into the Shadows when Jack is in hell. I think that I would like to see him set down a peg.

Which leads me to the point that if the excuses BBC and everyone are giving that he had to lose someone he loved it should have been Gwen. But apparently she is untouchable.

I am often suspicious of the ‘experts’ who tout their method of writing, especially when their pedigree seems to be primarily start-up/now-gone companies, publications that are little more than glorified sales sheets, or contain the word ‘guru’.  In fact, a sure to guarantee that I will  not follow you, but I will also block you on Twitter is to have the words marketing, sales, or social media guru too close together.  But I digress.

This writing FAQ  is written by James Moran ,  a film and television writer who’s credits include: the horror flick Severance; as well sci-fi favorites Doctor Who (the current series, not the classic—the dude isn’t that old), Torchwood as well as some others.  Based on his blog, Moran seems like a very down to earth fellow and puts a human face on ‘the writer’.   Because of some ugliness of fans around the Torchwood: Children of Earth mini-series, Moran has stopped updating his blog but, thankfully, he’s left it up for others to read his nuggets of wisdom and silliness.

The post that I am linking to is one of the more thorough writing FAQs from someone in the industry.  Moran is specific that this was his experience and your mileage may vary. He talks about the way to break-in (‘it’s hard, but doable’) writing schedules, why you shouldn’t write a spec episode for your favorite show, as well some geeky behind the scenes stuff about Doctor Who and Torchwood.

Here’s the link.   Have fun!

 Well I finished listening to Eve narrate Border Princes. I didn’t like it. When I started listening to it I thought that I had missed half the story. Then I remembered the character Adam and I thought stupid. Here a couple questions that I have. Why doesn’t Rhys remember Gwen leaving him? He never met James. Does that whole story just never take place because James leaves? The whole story just seems so out-of-place.

 I mean where is Ianto the whole time? Why does Jack seem dopey and moody like a teenager? I think the concept of the rift being a border and other worlds knowing about it and protecting it nice. But honestly I just don’t get this story.

 It’s a personal opinion, but I think that this was a waste of my time. I kept waiting for it to get better. For some insight or something and nothing came.

 Well that’s what on my mind this morning. I am annoyed with the read I listened to last night.

In the 14th century, Chaucer’s pilgrims made the long trip to Canterbury, and needed a good story to pay their way. In the 21st, pilgrims make their way to Cardiff and all you need is a fiver for the Severn Bridge.

This winter, Cardiff-vision has returned to our screens, as the third and final series of Gavin and Stacey airs and David Tennant’s much-anticipated but bittersweet Doctor Who Christmas specials are finally broadcast.

Four years ago, the tardis, with the Doctor safely inside, rematerialised on our television screens, and from that moment on, the world’s eyes have been trained on Cardiff, whether they could recognise it or not. Since then, fans have stormed the capital, trying to get glimpses of the Doctor at work. But what effect has this had on the city? Will people really wait around for hours to see the cast for a few minutes? It would seem so. Sarah Thomas, from the Doctor Who Up Close Exhibition in Cardiff Bay, explained, “Here fans just turn up and want to watch and the actors welcome it.”

With filming locations in Llandaff, Cardiff Bay, and  Bute Park, there are plenty of places for Doctor-philes  to shuffle their feet and wait for the action to unfold.  Even the most observant of fans would be hard-pushed to recognise some of the locations used  though, as the designers transform the area into an  ice planet, a biosphere on Mars, or even 17^th century  London. Which is why BBC Wales are doing their  best to ensure people know that Cardiff is the  backdrop to the majority of Doctor Who episodes,  with tie-in programmes like Doctor Who  Confidential, which features location managers explaining how they created the mind-blowing scenery for each episode.

The Red Dragon Centre in Cardiff Bay is a showcase of all things Doctor Who, be it costumes, life-size replicas, or the All-New Dalek Encounter. Looking around the exhibition, it becomes obvious why people are drawn in by the fantastic stories and meticulously crafted props and costumes.

Cardiff and Co, the agency in charge of marketing the city of Cardiff, have been quick to capitalise on this craze, and a senior spokesperson from the company said, “We market strongly on the basis of Doctor Who being one of the elements of the city that is of interest to people.”

The savvy people at the Park Plaza Hotel were the first to offer a Doctor Who package, which promises a weekend of tardis-related fun, and other Cardiff hotels quickly followed suit.

And, while Doctor Who was busy setting up its exhibition, and Torchwood was gathering momentum, two unknown writers were putting together a story about a boy from Essex and a girl from Barry. When James Corden and Ruth Jones came to filming their Gavin and Stacey, they chose to shoot on location in Cardiff’s Barry. Fans of the show will be disappointed to hear though, that the lovers are not all that star-crossed, as the long-distance relationship between Billericay and Barry, is actually between Cardiff and Barry, as the producers found a suitably English-looking house for the Shipmans in a village just outside Cardiff.

Cardiff Council and residents alike have taken to the steady stream of visitors, and one resident in particular has to deal with it more than most. Glenda Kenyon doesn’t just live in a small house on a steep hill in Barry, she lives in Stacey’s house. From the very first time Gavin made the long trip down the M4, Kenyon has been inundated with Gavin and Stacey pilgrims. And with Media Guardian counting six million viewers for the episode screened on 10 December, there are plenty more to come. Sarah Thomas, Doctor Who Up Close’s resident expert on all things BBC Wales attributes the move towards Cardiff as the media capital of the future, to the attitude of the council and the fans: “the council have gone all out to say they’ll accommodate anything that producers want. And the people here leave them alone, there’s not really that distraction like in London where people get mobbed all day.”

And now, after 20 years of rescuing the extras of Bristol from destitution and falls from cliffs, the Casualty team is moving to Cardiff. As of 2011, the sirens will be ringing through the streets of the Welsh capital, as cameramen from various crews try desperately not to cross beams. It would seem that Bristol is fast being overtaken by Cardiff as the media location of the UK. Cardiff and Co said, “Having the BBC bring something as large and prestigious as Casualty to the area confirmed really that Cardiff’s moving forward as a media centre.”

Doctor Who is still the big draw though, as people come from all corners of the world to see where he has been doing battle. Jackie Jones, manager of Doctor Who Up Close says, “we get all sorts at the exhibition, from all over the world. We were only meant to be here for three months and we’ve been here four years.”

With more and more filming going on in Cardiff, and Hollywood blockbusters like Sherlock Holmes and the new Robin Hood being filmed here, Cardiff will be full of fans waving autograph books and location maps for the foreseeable future.

Apparently Torchwood’s Norwegian branch has been busy in the last couple days, defending us from the latest Slitheen incursion (damn you, Raxicoricofalipatorius!), as can be seen in this video:

Ok, so what is it really? It’s actually a failed Russian missile test.

There were some really ignorant people out there going on about this being something called Project Blue Beam or some alien invasion or what have you, but I’m pleased to see that the MSM actually stepped up and slapped this one down. Good job, guys!

(for a more detailed takedown, check out Badastronomy.com’s explanation)

Okay, I have decided this is really the weirdest thing I have ever done. One because nobody is reading it and two because basically it is an online journal about how I feel about Torchwood and Ianto’s death.

So I have decided to mention how I got started watching Torchwood. One Sunday I was watching Dr. Who with my dad and I decided that I really liked David Tennant so I began watching Dr. Who on Netflix. Netflix then recommended this show Torchwood which was a spin-off with that weird but loveable Captain Harkness.

I initially kept watching it for Gwen and Jack but when Gwen had the affair with Owen I was about to turn it off. But I didn’t I kept watching it and a few episodes later figured out why. The cute and practical coffee boy. Man those suits and quips.

So thats my story for today.

WARNING! Spoilers for Richard Kelly’s The Box, and semi-sort-of-not-really spoilers for John Sayles’ Limbo…

Richard Kelly is now three for three. In terms of bad movies pretending to be thought-provoking artistic statements marrying SF, philosophy, pop culture, and visually uninteresting motifs, that is. His notorious and oft-lauded feature debut was Donnie Darko, a TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS SF thriller about a boy, a weird rabbit, and something about time-travelling through an Einstein-Rosen bridge, all wrapped in pilfered Lynchian atmospherics. It also featured the line “Go suck a fuck”, which annoyed me so much at the time I think it made my brain come unglued in my head. That said, it also featured some interesting ideas.

Kelly was smart enough to take the filmmaking capital he earned with that movie and instantly spend it on Southland Tales, a love letter to Los Angeles that doubled as a hyper-stylised satire of the political state of America post-9/11, with surveillance culture running out of control and alternate fuel technology creating some kind of instability in the space-time continuum. Seeking to comment on every hot-button political issue at once, it ended up saying nothing. It didn’t help that Kelly couldn’t keep his imagination-dick in his brain-pants, and thus saturated the movie with dozens and dozens of TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS events that remained unexplained by the time the credits rolled, even if you read the bewildering graphic novel he wrote as a prologue. It was a 21st Century Wild Palms, only 3000 times more self-indulgent and, regrettably, not co-directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

It was a critical and commercial disaster, premiered in rough cut at Cannes to an audience that hated it and then unleashed on a world that just didn’t care about it. As with any visionary SF movie a cult sprung up around it, but even though I have been known to champion all kinds of flawed but ambitious projects, Southland Tales made me livid. Kelly tantalises us with yet more interesting ideas, but these are left unformed or unexplored, leading to a finale of desperately opaque meaning. Either Kelly created an intentionally vague movie to cynically provoke discussion, or he doesn’t know what the hell he is doing. This interview features a telling paragraph:

As “Southland Tales” was going down in flames at Cannes, Mr. Kelly was still sorting through the details of his back story. He wrote the first book before the shoot and completed the second just before Cannes. He wrote the third while re-editing the movie. Working on them simultaneously helped clarify the big picture. “I needed to solve the riddle in my own mind,” he said.

I’ve heard most writer-directors say they figure out what story they are telling during the editing process, but I always thought that was a metaphor. This disjointed, sprawling nonsense – Short Cuts, as directed by a cross between Philip K. Dick and Cartman — is the work of someone with no concept of discipline. His magnum opus turned out to be little more than a bloated Pez dispenser filled with dreary hallucinations, alt-rock standards, and misunderstood quotes from T.S. Eliot. Other than entertaining performances from Seann William Scott, Amy Poehler, Wood Harris and (especially) The Rock, it was worthless.

And yet I’ve been desperate to see The Box ever since it was announced. During a recent Twitter conversation about Donnie Darko, I said that what had disappointed me most was that it was exactly the kind of movie I would make if I had been given a camera and lots of money when I was younger, but seeing it onscreen showed me that my ideas were too woolly and unformed to be committed to celluloid (be grateful I’m just a blogger with a bug up his ass, film fans). Nevertheless, you can tell Kelly has a restless mind, and if he could focus that energy and that imagination into a coherent narrative with a beginning, middle, and end, we might get something truly special. As The Box is based on a classic Richard Matheson short story (“Button, Button”), it seemed like Kelly had learned his lesson and was going to tell a simple but effective SF story with a philosophical dimension.

Sadly, that simple story has been expanded to become another intentional vague and melodramatic conundrum, this time about aliens, the afterlife, and bad 70s wallpaper. As with Matheson’s story, struggling parents Norma and Arthur Lewis (Cameron Diaz and James Marsden) are offered a chance of a lifetime by a mysterious stranger, Arlington Steward (Frank Langella, with a CGI hole in his face). This chance comes in the shape of a box with a red button on it. If pushed, someone they do not know will die, but they will be given one million dollars. Wracked with uncertainty about their future, Norma pushes the button, and instantly they both regret this decision. What happens next is certainly challenging, but ultimately silly, baffling, and emotionally empty, no matter how hard Kelly tries to convince the viewer otherwise.

That said, The Box did give me an insight into Kelly’s filmmaking style. Or should I say, artistic sensibility, as he once called it at the bottom of this article in Variety. There are ten simple rules to making a Richard Kelly movie:

1. Make everything in the movie look as ugly as possible. Film in grey and orange exclusively. A complex palette is your enemy.
2. Overlight every shot. No shadows. Shadows are for those other film directors who have no artistic sensibility.
3. Hipster music is essential. It will either lend flat scenes an energy they don’t deserve (Southland Tales) or will totally overwhelm your visuals (Arcade Fire’s soundtrack for The Box).
4. Direct your female cast members as poorly as possible (see Diaz and Celia Weston in The Box, Mary McDonell in Donnie Darko, and Mandy Moore, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nora Dunn, and Cheri Oteri in Southland Tales).
5. After your first edit, remove five scenes at random to create the illusion of mystery in your story.
6. Include visuals about water and bland CGI space-time tunnels or vortices or something. These are your THEMATIC CONSTANTS and are TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS!
7. Cast Holmes Osborne in a supporting role. He’s an okay enough actor, but it’s fun to have someone be in all of your movies. Proper directors do things like that.
8. Quote clever people like Eliot and Sartre. This is what artists do.
9. If David Lynch does it, it’s okay to do it too (e.g. have people standing around staring like zombies, or slowly zoom in on people cackling). That bit in Lost Highway with Robert Morse telling Bill Pullman he is in two places at once? Do a pastiche of that. Lynch won’t mind. He obviously enjoys putting TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS things in his movies for no reason and everyone loves him.
10. If you’ve spent more than a couple of weeks editing your movie, you’re doing it wrong. Just slap it together. The audience enjoys puzzling this shit out. Anyone who demands more coherence from their movies is a fraud and an imbecile.

These concerns are mostly surface annoyances with Kelly’s stubborn adherence to a set of stylistic tics. Even a humbling experience like Southland Tales‘ reception couldn’t dissuade him from reusing them. Nevertheless, it’s also worth breaking down the narrative dead-ends, holes, and ambiguous complications in Kelly’s “plot”, as they provide evidence that he has no idea what he is doing. Certainly he squanders that fantastic, thought-provoking central premise: would you press the button even though it would kill a stranger? Matheson certainly uses this starting point to make a wry comment on whether we ever really know anyone, even our loved ones, and Kelly addresses this original ending in a hilarious, poorly written philosophical debate between our protagonists (he also alludes to the alternate ending from the Twilight Zone episode that Matheson disowned).

Of course, Kelly — who has never written a recognisably human character when he can create a thinly-sketched caricature with a wacky name instead — is never going to make a movie that truly ponders that question, not when he can throw in “creepy” shots of mind-controlled humans standing around being “creepy”, or repeatedly cut to a poster of Edwin Austin Abbey’s Quest of the Holy Grail which also features Arthur C. Clarke’s Third Law. That only seems to have been included to allow Kelly to add all sorts of visual splurge with the excuse that hey, it’s alien and advanced so it can look like however I want. He can also add a reference to Purgatory because then he’s making challenging movie about aliens being God and this plane of reality being a form of punishment, or something. Because, you know. Deep.

Yes, Kelly can’t just tell a morality tale. He has to tell a morality tale with added aliens. Again, this is worryingly close to the sort of hare-brained nonsense I sometimes think would make for good drama when drifting off to sleep. As far as can be deduced from Kelly’s maddeningly tortuous plotting, the button is created by an alien intelligence, one that has arrived via lightning to take control of Arlington Steward’s dead body to test the morality of humans by giving them the opportunity to chase instant gratification at the expense of another’s life. As he’s doing this one couple at a time, with a large group of brainwashed minions who gawp and haemorrhage through their noses (a TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS visual image, that), it suggests this alien has the patience of a saint. Why test us? If we fail, we are obviously on a slippery slope to destroying ourselves, and therefore the aliens will annihilate us. Why can’t they just leave us to it, then? It’s hinted that it’s because of our exploration of Mars, but as this is not stated outright, this is mere conjecture.

Norma and Arthur’s decision to press the button sets in motion a series of ill-defined yet terrible events (including the pretentious graffiti shown above) that hint they are being punished for their decision, just as many others have in the past. That’s pleasingly neat, though it does make explicit something the Twilight Zone adaptation only hinted at, to greater effect. However, the initial morality test only really works if you believe pressing the button will kill a person. Norma and Arthur have no reason to believe it does, simply because it’s an empty box given to them by a stranger with half a face, and that belief that the button will do nothing seems to inform Norma’s decision to press the button. What happens next seems awfully cruel considering they did it half-thinking they were the butt of a joke.

The chain of bizarre events that follows lead to a heavily telegraphed finale in which Norma and Arthur’s child Walter is kidnapped, though with one unexpected development: the alien intelligence renders Walter blind and deaf. They are then given another choice. If Arthur shoots Norma in the heart, their child will be cured. If not, he will remain impaired. As Norma suffers from a deformity and what seems to be a fear of disability, the choice is easy to make. Arthur shoots her at the same time another couple presses the button, as happened earlier in the movie. It has the air of being very well thought through, though it’s rich to try to turn the movie back to being about wrenching philosophical quandaries when the middle section of the movie sees Arthur travelling through water-portals and Arlington’s brain-controlled minions stalking Norma or congregating in sinister groups. That are “creepy”.

Any emotional charge that the final scene could have conjured up is dissipated by the nonsensical plot convolutions, untied loose ends, and dreary effects sequences that brought us to that point. As with Russell T. Davies on the recent Torchwood: Children of Earth mini-series, Kelly has come up with what he sees as a fascinating moral quandary (how far would we go to protect our children?), but to get to that point has to mash any plot together. Again, the end result is a plot that resembles a blob of Silly Putty squished in a fist instead of rolled into a nicely linear sausage. Without a sturdy narrative framework to give these characters a believable reason to face this problem, it has zero heft, and the tearful, super-dramatic finale is not earned.

The issue is muddied further as another button is pushed by another woman at the same time Marsden fires. Are we to assume he has no free will? If so, where’s the tragedy? If not, and he fires of his own accord, then the button has nothing to do with the killing, and Arlington is potentially skewing the results of this game so that he can report back to his “employers” that we are doomed, and then justify their plans to destroy us. This is the most interesting idea thrown up by the film, and one that makes me think Kelly is actually onto something. Arlington even seems fond of Norma and Arthur: his final scene is riven with regret. In that case, maybe he has already made his mind up that humans are beyond saving, and Norma and Arthur are unfortunate casualties of this. If that is the case, I like the movie a little more.

However, these moments are less than ambiguous, and more like inconclusive, and this explanation has a whiff of fanwankery. Am I constructing a coherent explanation from clues left by Kelly? Or writing an alternate explanation using supposition and exaggeration from my own misinterpretation of the plot “tea-leaves” Kelly has swirled around the bottom of the teacup that is his movie? I’m all for pondering the meaning of a vague ending, but only when I think the writer or director is using inconclusive plotting to muddy their otherwise clearly expressed intentions. Compare any of Kelly’s endings to one of the truly great unresolved endings ever: John Sayles’ infuriating but brilliant Limbo. That movie has no concrete ending because Sayles is making a point about how real stories and lives have no satisfying ending. It invites speculation from the viewer, but offers no hints. It’s just the mystery of the next moment of our lives rendered in more dramatic — and humbling — style. (See also several open-ended Coen brothers movies.)

Kelly’s endings tend to mean less than nothing. Not “Oh the world has come to nothing and we must bear witness to the pointlessness and randomness of it all”. I mean “there is no ending as I couldn’t think of one. But there are a lot of TERRIBLY MYSTERIOUS things that have already happened, so mix-n-match those until you have something that seems logical. Jane’s Addiction roolz!” We’re not given enough concrete information to make up our minds what is happening, and so we can spin hypothetical explanations until the cows come home. A great way to keep your movies in the minds of your acolytes, but a boring and frustrating experience for those of us who think Kelly is a fraud who would rather namecheck Kurt Vonnegut or Jean-Paul Sartre than finish any of his potentially interesting ideas.

For example, Darko ended with a Christ-like sacrifice from Donnie, but left the reasons for the events unclear, though eventually explained by Kelly as a form of gibberish about Tangent Universes that seem to be describing a movie he made in his head while making an entirely different movie in the real world. Southland Tales ends with the return of Christ being thwarted by a disaffected asshole with a rocket launcher while two alternate versions of Seann William Scott create a portal that will something something. I think the world was doomed. Again, I had to finish the story for Kelly, coming up with my own interpretation. Same with The Box. Arlington’s actions make sense when I make them make sense, but then a bunch of other events make that interpretation false. Perhaps further viewing will make this interpretation clearer.

Nevertheless, this is the kind of faux-intellectualism that appeals to stoners who have read A Brief History of Time and Slaughterhouse 5 and think the universe is looping in on itself so that time is just space turned into a twelfth dimensional gas, man. In a way that could be appealing or forgivable. Gaspar Noé’s Enter The Void (one of my favourite films of the year, and one that has a couple of similarities to the inferior Donnie Darko) is woolly-headed and naive, but it is such a mesmerising and beautifully rendered rush of sound and image that any silliness is forgiven. Kelly doesn’t have the technical skill to pull this kind of thing off, relying instead on dispiriting compositions, eye-scorching overlighting, bombastic music, and indifferent art direction. Imagine Altered States made by the director of a straight-to-DVD sequel to American Pie after he’s eaten a bad batch of ’shrooms. That’s what this feels like.

Even worse, he doesn’t know what to do with his actors. Diaz gives yet another terrible performance as Norma, overplaying her big scenes, underplaying her quiet ones, and speaking with an accent oozing with so much Southernness I spent much of the movie waiting for her to raise a lace-gloved hand to her forehead and bellow, “Well ah do declayuh!” She’s never been good at doing anything other than be goofy (she was likeable enough in the first Charlie’s Angels movie), but after her unforgivably bad, tension-killing overacting here and in Nick Cassavetes’ disastrous My Sister’s Keeper, hopefully now filmmakers will stop casting her in dramas. Shades of Caruso favourite James Marsden fares better, probably because he’s a much better actor, but every so often a ludicrous, over-written line of dialogue will defeat him. It made me want to rewatch his triumphant turn in Enchanted for the ten millionth time, just to remind me of happier times.

Frank Langella’s impressive work is no surprise: the man is usually the best thing about every movie he is in. Though he is an eerie presence for much of the movie, even he is undone during a scene opposite Diaz in which she proclaims something about how “you wey-uh yo pay-un uh-pon yo fay-uss!”, and Langella’s look of regret is either brilliant acting showing Arlington’s sadness over the effect of his test, or Langella momentarily revealing his horror at Diaz’ continued employment. He is similarly unable to save a terrible, pretentious speech triggered by an NSA agent asking him why the alien morality test involves a box, which sounds like Kelly anticipated some confusion from the more curious members of his audience. Unfortunately his rationale is that we live in boxes, drive in boxes, watch boxes, and end up in boxes, so why not? Langella intones this monstrous wodge of contrivance as if he were playing King Lear, but the outrageous profundity-lite still reduced me to amazed giggles.

It would have been nice for Kelly to pose more questions about his authorial decisions, either to provide more amusement or to actually explain why anything happens in the film. How many people are in on Arlington’s plan and who why? How culpable is the government in this? Are they working with Arlington or against him? Why is it only women who ever seem to press the button? Why is there a rehearsal dinner and wedding in the movie? Is it just to get our characters in large groups where they can be menaced by creepy teenagers who laugh creepily? Why does Arthur travel through a portal in the middle of the movie? How much of this was just mood-setting, and how much necessary to the plot? Why is disability so important to the plot? Etc.

Actually, there is a potential answer to one question that threw me: why does NASA feature so prominently? We know Kelly’s father was a NASA scientist, and the movie is set one year after his birth, so is this somehow autobiographical? I’d be much more interested in it if that were the case, and that would certainly make the movie more than just a mixture of The Quatermass Experiment, The Astronaut’s Wife, and the pulp SF that gets namechecked in a mid-movie segue. For the first time we would see a connection to humanity amidst these dreadfully self-conscious exercises in intentional vagueness and poorly orchestrated atmospherics. The fact that all of these movies feel of a piece with each other, sharing similar motifs and concerns, make me wonder if Kelly is trying to tell a single story and failing no matter which direction he attacks it from.

It’s as if he once had a dream about water and tunnels and time travel and is constantly trying to figure out what it meant by telling different stories. Who knows, perhaps there really is a coherent story being told here about Living Receivers and how water is a Fourth-Dimensional Construct but he has yet to figure out how to make the pieces fit together. It’s this suspicion that brings me back to his movies even though I dislike all three of them. Perhaps one day Kelly will figure out how to tell this one story coherently, or to create some kind of key that makes all of the stories fit together, or just learn to modulate his glaring and annoying lighting scheme or find out that just referencing religious themes is not the same as fleshing out an SF story with a spiritual dimension. Either those revelations or he will get over his weird phobia of water. It’s just liquid, not a portal to the Nth dimension where the Judgemental Dream Aliens live, you crazy son of a bitch.

At that moment I will give him a break, and happily take back every negative thing I have ever said about him. Hard though it may seem after this lengthy rant, but I’m really rooting for him. I want that alternative explanation for Arlington’s test to be true, not just because it would justify spending money on his previous movies, or the countless hours I will inevitably spend pondering his ill-defined ideas, but because it would show Kelly has improved as a storyteller and has managed to hide a jewel of an idea at the centre of a tedious labyrinth. The tragedy is that, after sitting through so much uninspiring and downright exasperating chaff, I cannot believe Kelly has managed to pull off that feat. It’s a crying shame.

Okay so I am just going to come out with what really bothered me about the death other than the fact that Ianto died at all. I’m on  my break and trying to watch Eureka since I never saw the season finale and it just wasn’t working so I watched day four again (well all the Ianto bites) and I of course watched the death scene (tears, heartbreak and total..).

I sat there watching it and thinking to myself, it would have been beautiful, well it was but it would have been better if the sentiments that were expressed in In The Shadows had been repeated instead of Jack’s “dont” reply to Ianto’s admission of love.  Up until I listened to In The Shadows I never would have said Jack had any real feeling for Ianto. I have always thought Jack treated him like a routine shag. I am happy to be wrong, but I still feel as though I am not.

Anyway I think that even if he thought nothing of him he could have said more. Dealt with it more. He was so external over the deaths of Toshiko and Owen that I can’t imagine him internalizing it. This just starts off my whole frustration with Mr. Davies and Ms. Gardner and their excuse for Ianto’s death, but that’s a blog for another day.

My point folks, Jack should have given more of himself in the end. Ianto always did. I think that I might have watched day five right away had that happened, but alas no.

“i have to wait a hundreds years to find him. what do i do in the meantime?”

NOTE: Torchwood belongs to BBC. No copyright infringement intended.

Yes, it has.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I’ve been kind of down in the dumps lately… don’t really know why but I had a couple of rough days and some nights where I couldn’t sleep through the tears.
Right now that seems to be working itself out, as I am sitting here, oddly content, as I have been for the past two days. However, I have several things to address:

1) The X-Factor
2) Adam Lambert at the AMA’s
3) Tiger Woods
4) Torchwood

So I’m just gonna get started!

The X-Factor

First of all; I am so happy that Lloyd is finally gone. Before that, I was even okay with Jedward being gone. I have to be honest; it was sad seeing them go, but it was time they left the competition. And as most of the critics said after the first show without them: it seemed as if the competition was really ON. I really didn’t like Lloyd, so I’m glad he’s gone. Over the past couple of weeks, every fibre in me is rooting for Joe McElderry. He has the voice, the looks, the personality, the likability, the performance and he manages to sing songs I really really like. So JOE FOR THE WIN!

I just read on PerezHilton.com (my go-to site for… everything, basically. Love Perez.) that Simon has chosen Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” as the X-Factor finalists song. First of all, my reaction was :O Ew. But, to be honest, I can’t even remember what the song is like. Thanks to my sister though, I do have it on my computer. So I’m gonna go listen to it right now, and see if I agree with Cowell’s decision.
Okay, so I’ll give him this: the lyrics fit a talent show. There’s no arguing there. But seriously, Simon, another ballad? Why can’t talent shows have any other genre for the finalist song. Especially with the 4 acts that are left. I cannot imagine Danyl and Olly being happy with this decision as they just don’t sing this kind of music.  (Oh my God, Miley’s voice is annoying… I’m really tempted to turn it off.) I am kind of glad it’s a song Danyl and Olly won’t be comfortable with, though, because that might heighten Joe’s chances of winning (L). The song is kind of catchy, but when she sings “it’s the cliiiiiiiimb”, I just want to stab myself in the ear.

One last note about the X Factor: I am so excited for Sunday’s results show: Lady Gaga and Janet Jackson. That should be a really, really amazing show. I hope Lady Gaga goes last, and has some crazy performance again. I love her wackyness.
Adam Lambert at the AMA’s

America: GET OVER YOURSELVES!
When I heard all the controversy about Adam Lambert’s performance on the American Music Awards, I just had to go straight to YouTube to watch it, and let’s be honest, the biggest problem with that performance was that his voice was pitchy. Seriously. It was aired at 11pm (or minutes before) and preceded by several risque performances including violence, sex and alcohol. Then why is it that Adam Lambert’s performance is the one being hung out to dry? Simple: Because he is a gay man.

It really saddens me to see such a double standard. Like Ellen DeGeneres said on her show when Adam was the guest, “if you’re gonna get offended by sexual acts on live TV, then be offended by it all.” Just because Adam is openly gay, it’s suddenly offensive? First let me say this: there is nothing, nothing, offensive about a man kissing another man. Absolutely NOTHING. I can (somewhat) understand the controversy about him shoving his dancer’s face in his crotch, but that’s a whole other story, because there’s a double standard there as well. But first, I’ll talk about ABC. Not only did they drop Adam from performing on Good Morning America the day after the awards show, but they also canceled his appearances on Jimmy Kimmel and New Year’s Eve. Adam took it all in stride, taking to his <a href=”http://twitter.com/AdamLambert”>Twitter</a> to say:

don’t blame them. It’s the FCC heat. [...] It’ll all blow over. Let’s focus on being positive!

That’s some serious star quality right there, and I respect him so much more for not creating drama and even more publicity surrounding this.

Another thing about this was his interview with CBS. Once ABC canceled Good Morning America, CBS snatched him up for The Early Show for an interview and a performance of ‘Whataya Want From Me’. While introducing Adam and the controversy surrounding him, they first showed to clips from his AMA’s performance the night before, but they blurred both the kiss and the BJ parts. The oral sex thing, I can understand. But blurring a kiss? Oh, you think this is bad? It gets worse! SECONDS later, they – no cencorship – showed Madonna and Britney’s VMA kiss from some years back. Say what?!
Adam mentioned briefly in that interview that there is a double standard, and CBS proved him right just minutes before he went on air. It’s disgusting to witness, to be honest. Adam has not apologized for his performance, nor do I think he should. People who complain about their kids seeing it… they don’t seem to mind that Gaga was smashing whiskey bottles against her piano? Sure, I get it, alcohol is better than sexuality. Or as Adam put it in another interview “It’s okay for Rihanna to come onstage with rifles. Oh, of course in America violence is okay, two guys kissing? Of course!”

If anything, this ‘incident’ or whatever you want to call it, has made me respect Adam even more so than I already did. He has handled everything so gracefully, and he even had a few of the women on The View defending his honor. He can’t be all bad, right?
Tiger Woods

I’m not gonna spend long talking about this, but TIGER WOODS YOU DOUCHE!
His reputation has been relatively clean, and now this?? THREE women have come forward to say they’ve slept with Woods after he got married 5 years ago, and there are reports of more women out there who supposedly also have slept with the golfer. I don’t think his career will survive this wittle scandal. And I hope it doesn’t, either. He doesn’t deserve any fame or money anymore, no matter his talent. Disgusting.
It would be one thing to slip up once, but three different women, and apparently several times, vacations etc with each of them? That’s just puke-worthy.

Oh, and regarding some website that is offering him millions to be their poster-child for people who want to cheat on their spouses? LAUGH OUT LOUD. Take that money and run, Woods.
Torchwood

My latest obsession is this: Torchwood. Doctor Who spin-off series with John Barrowman playing Captain Jack Harkness.
I absolutely love it. I have been watching it online, but yesterday I decided to buy the DVD’s, so I went on Amazon and bought Series 1-3 The Collection. It was supposed to be delivered today, so I was home all day, just waiting. Did it arrive? Of course not! So now I’m staying home until I get it tomorrow. If you don’t know the show, CHECK IT OUT. <3 I don’t wanna give away spoilers, but I can’t believe RTD killed off Ianto Jones. Ianto and Jack were supposed to be together forever and ever and ever. (Highlight to see what it says.)

Anyways, that is it for now. Hopefully I’ll get my act together and update more.
Love; xoxo
Marie
Currently listening to: Soaked – Adam Lambert

On the one hand, Torchwood is coming back! For a whole season!

This makes me feel, well:

On the other hand,

Cheesy fanart is cheesy, but relevant

HOWEVER,

I feel like if James Marsters came back, I would forget about everything else.

Also, as long as Torchwood is recruiting, it seems pretty inevitable that Lois Habiba will wind up as part of the team. Which would be cool with me. She kinda knocked my socks off. And was definitely my favorite character by the end of “Children of Earth.”

Anyway, I’m sure I’ve got a while to speculate, and Doctor Who to tide me over in the meantime. And while we’re on the subject, I’m not sure I’m totally on board with this Matt Smith character. I mean, the Doctor is supposed to be this ancient Time Lord, not a twenty-something hipster. I guess I should wait till I’ve seen an episode to judge, but it looks like Doctor Who: The Teen Years. And they’ve already got The Sarah Jane Adventures to appeal to the younger audiences.

Then again, I actually really love that show, too. So maybe it will be okay.

The Doctor (is a 15-year-old, apparently)

On the other hand, I fully support Karen Gillan as the Doctor’s companion. Because, well, look:

Rose who?

It remains to be seen whether she’ll replace Martha as my favorite Companion, but either way I’m pretty stoked for the new series.

Although obviously I’ll miss David Tennant. *sadface*

But anyway.

** warning: the following post contains character death spoilers for series 2 and 3 of Torchwood (Children of Earth). If you don’t care, please read! (and try the show — it’s great!) Otherwise, move on…

Torchwood's 3rd and thought to be final series aired in the UK and US in July 2009

A fan blog is reporting that John Barrowman confirmed at Collectormania that he has signed up to do a fourth series of Torchwood. Kai Owen, another actor from the show (Rhys) has also confirmed. Ordinarily, I would remain skeptical until the network had said something, but in sci-fi fantasy circles it’s usually the actors and their discourse with the fans that happens first, and is usually correct. Plus, the BBC has a vile habit of keeping mum about things until the last possible minute. They don’t announce when a show will actually air until only a few weeks before (*waits eagerly for news of Ashes to Ashes series three).

I am… torn. I imagine I’m not the only fan to feel this way, considering where Children of Earth left things. But I am getting ahead of myself. What is Torchwood, you ask? OH, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

In 2005, the BBC relaunched the sci-fi classic Doctor Who franchise, reinventing the show for a new generation under the direction of Queer as Folk creator Russell T. Davies. While still a family show, Davies infused the show with an occasionally naughty wit, including a risque character or two, one of them being Captain Jack Harkness, a 51st century pan-sexual conman-turned-good-guy, who kisses both companion Rose AND the Doctor at the conclusion of series one’s big story arc. The topic of a spin-off came up, with Jack as the lead character, and Torchwood came to be — a darker, terrestrially based Doctor Who.

Jack, plagued with an inability to die (no matter how many times he tries), is the head of Torchwood’s Welsh office (an organization created by Queen Victoria in a series two episode of Doctor Who) whose job it is to monitor alien activity, scavenge what they leave behind and use it for the benefit of the Empire. Airing in a later time slot, and for the first series on BBC 3, Torchwood does everything Doctor Who couldn’t — there’s sex, death, cannibals, murder, oh, and everyone is gay. Or at least has a same-sex snog during the course of the series.

For the last several years, Torchwood has been one of my favorite shows. I loved it’s darkness, and the gay, and most of all the characters. One in particular: Ianto Jones, the quite tea boy who it turns out in series one is hiding a big secret, and in later series develops into a strong leading figure… and ends up being Jack’s boyfriend. There’s nothing I like better than a dark, complex character in a well-cut suit, and Ianto Jones is all three. But then it all came crashing down.

Children of Earth, Torchwood’s summer 2009 five episode mega serial, seemed like the game ender to top all game enders: in the most spectacularly fucked up storyline yet, aliens come to earth, possess all the children, and demand Earth’s leaders sacrifice 10 percent of Earth’s population in children, who it turns out are like a drug to the race (they hook them up to their bodies and feed off them like parasites), and Britain’s leaders decide to send the country’s poorest and dumbest children to the slaughter. A lot of people die, horrible choices are made, yes — children do die, and so do several characters. Most particularly, my darling Ianto. He dies senselessly, in a harrowing scene that I’ll admit made me cry. On an airplane. Whoops. Jack, unable to face the choices he’s made, and in particular affected by Ianto’s death, leaves Torchwood. The show’s heroine, Gwen, is pregnant and happy with her husband Rhys, and it seems that it’s all over.  It was a painful but BRILLIANT series, with challenging, crafty writing, top-notch acting from all involved, and as upset as I was, the writers did Ianto justice as a character, giving him a depth that he had lacked previously.

Everyone reckoned this was the end of Torchwood, Russell T. Davies’ big bangin’ departure from the Doctor Who franchise. Now it looks like there’s going to be a series four.

But can it ever be the same? Do I want a Torchwood without Ianto in it? Now you know what it feels like, I’m sure the Tosh/Owen fans are chanting — two main characters killed off at the conclusion of series two, but after their death, at least we still had three  of the five principle members of the cast left. Now, without Ianto, only the two mains are left. Can it ever be the same without Tosh, Owen and Ianto? Who will they replace them with? Gwen will be a mum — will we be hit over the head with Mummy Gwen plotlines? Will Jack spends the series pining over Ianto (ok, I wouldn’t mind this), or will the intervening time between the end of Children of Earth and the beginning of series four be considered his mourning period, and we’ll see him get right back to his old Captain Jack “I’m cocky and sleep with everything!” ways? Dear God, are Jack and Gwen finally going to hook up?

I just don’t know. Will I watch it? OF COURSE. But I think Torchwood may be jumping the shark.

Wootz!! Torchwood is getting another season!! Super psched for this since it’s one of the best scifi shows created by the BBC that has been successful. Story here: http://io9.com/5415854/torchwood-will-return-for-a-proper-season-not-just-another-miniseries. And while I was looking at io9 I came across this: http://io9.com/5415854/torchwood-will-return-for-a-proper-season-not-just-another-miniseries, which for the most part I agree with (big shock! I haven’t seen a few of those films!) Also, as this year begins to draw to a close David Tennant’s 10th Doctor begins to draw closer to the series finale.

Note to self. Stop playing Tetris before bed.

I downloaded it onto my iPod on Saturday night because it was slightly cheaper than normal for some reason. But I actually can’t stop playing it! And when you have important exams the next day, staying up till 2am isn’t a good idea! This Tetris addiction needs to be sorted immediately!!

Other than that I have very little interesting news for you. Sorry. I guess I used up all of my fun exciting times yesterday, so today I have very little to blog about

Oh but wait! Yes I do!! Today is the FIRST OF DECEMBER!! And we all know what that means!! ADVENT!! And more importantly… CHOCOLATE IN THE MORNING!!!! Now normally, I’m not such a fan of eating unhealthily just because I can. But in the run up to Christmas an Advent Calendar is simply a must!! It makes everything so exciting and gets me in the Christmas mood!

Speaking of which, I saw some Christmas lights in someone’s window again today! It made me so happy!

Which is happening a lot at the moment actually… I’m in the middle of some important exams, I just came out to my mum, I haven’t had a decent lunch in years, I’m constantly tired, and to top it all off I had quiche for tea. Quiche. I kid you not!

But despite all these problems, I find myself grinning uncontrollably! I don’t know what it is! It was actually pointed out today by my neighbour when we were walking home from school. I was chattering away like a mad hatter or something and she’s just smiling at me, and I saw her and said ‘What are you smiling about?’ and she’s like ‘It’s just… you. I haven’t seen you like this in ages!’ And all I could say was ‘I’m happy!’ Then I continued chattering away. It’s just like, everyone is being so lovely to me and doing these blogs every day is actually really making me happy! So please don’t stop being lovely chums! BIG LOVE TO EVERYONE!!

Also I just saw a funny group on Facebook. It’s called ”It’s a natural tan!’ Well if that’s true your dad must have done it with a fucking wotsit!’ Hahahaha! Awesome! Speaking of Facebook! I was looking at a group called ‘67 reasons why its better to be female’ and a large proportion of them applied to me! So y’know… ouch. But I mean ‘Shoes’ can apply to anyone! Who ever has enough sneakers?

Am I allowed to call them sneakers? Or is that phrase reserved for Americans? Sod it. Sneakers sounds better than pumps! And just because they’re my favourite shoes of all time, that gives me the right to call them sneakers. So there.

Anyway, I was going to tell you blog reading peoples that I actual know my German coursework off by heart! Which is really good! So touch wood I’ll be able to rewrite it out in the exam tomorrow…

Oh, and in case anyone’s interested. Torchwood Series 4 is going back to the normal set of 13 episodes instead of the miniseries thing. Which I can’t decide what to think about, because it will make the series last quite a lot longer than it would originally, but the miniseries format got a lot of new people interested in the show and when it goes back to the standard 1 episode per week format I can’t help but think those new people will move away and when I say ‘Did anyone watch Torchwood last night?’ I’ll go back to getting the disgusted frowns instead of the warm smiles and long conversations regarding Ianto’s untimely demise…

So I don’t know… interesting nonetheless though. I’ve got a feeling I’ve forgotten rather a lot of stuff that I was going to mention here so chances are I’ll do another blog later…

Anyway, take care, please comment etc etc…

Jack out.

Pictured: the Torchwood team for series 1 and 2.

Not only has a 4th series of the tepid series Torchwood has been confirmed, not only has it been confirmed to be thirteen episodes, this information was confirmed by the prolific John Barrowman, meaning he will probably continue to star as the always-irritating Captain Jack Harkness.

I have nothing against Captain Jack, I have something against Torchwood Jack. His turn to angst and darkness would be acceptable character development…except, it’s not development at all because the second he crosses back over to Doctor Who he turns into the character we were introduced too. Most bizarre.

Luckily, he will not be a burden on series 5/31/11.1 (yes, the production team are now calling it 11.1) too: he has not been asked back.

~ D, who is sure that if anyone read this there’d be controversy