“You know,” said the Guru, “there’s nothing better than Eternal Happiness.”

“What about a leaf of lettuce?” asked the Tortoise, who was quite fond of the shrubbery.

“A leaf of lettuce isn’t nearly as good as Eternal Happiness.”

“But it’s better than nothing, right?”

The Guru shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it’s better than nothing, but–”

“So if a leaf of lettuce is better than nothing, and nothing is better than Eternal Happiness, then by simple logic, a leaf of lettuce must be better than Eternal Happiness!” And with that, the Tortoise munched a large chunk of lettuce. “Mmm-hmm,” he said.

“I think you’re missing the point,” said the Guru.

“I think you are,” said the Turtle, who was chewing in preparation to swallow.

Saverio Truglia

wat een plezier om tortoise in het stuk te zien: intieme sfeer, perfect geluid en op vijf minuten van huis. een mens kan alleen nog een briljant concert wensen. een goed geluimde band had er duidelijk zin in. ze brachten een gebalde set waarin ze vooral putten uit hun twee meest recente worpen: ‘beacons of ancestorship’ en ‘it’s all around you’. in tegenstelling tot vroegere concerten bracht de groep geen visuals mee en werd het publiek dus gedwongen om naar de muzikanten te kijken. voor een instrumentale band kan dat wel eens tegenvallen, maar bij tortoise is er genoeg te zien: twee drums vooraan op het podium, vijf muzikanten die voortdurend van instrumenten wisselen, de muzikale virtuositeit van de bandleden en de mimiek van john mcentire staan garant voor kijkplezier. naarmate de set vorderde, werd er mee afgeweken van de cd-versies van de nummers en ging het er allemaal wat energieker aan  toe. vooral de drumduels waren heerlijk om volgen. ondanks het toenemend geweld ging het rijke klankenpalet, dat zo kenmerkend is voor de band, nooit verloren. bij de vorige tour in 2007 liet de band een uitgebluste indruk na, maar bijna twintig jaar na zijn ontstaan heeft tortoise duidelijk een tweede (derde of vierde?) adem gevonden. daar kunnen wij alleen maar blij om zijn. we want more!

And they thought we were slow!

Just a quick community service announcement to the people of Cleveland , you know Mary, that 100 year old tortoise at the zoo? Yeah well it is really a male, so from now on can you call him Terry, thanks!

Psst The 400lb tortoise arrived at the zoo in 1955 for goodness sakes, didn’t anyone bother to have a look see?

Sam is nine and in a CM1 class at his école primaire. There’s a lot of memorising for homework, which seems like an old-fashioned sort of way of learning. With poems it’s OK, but with history, like the reigns of Clovis and Charlemagne, and long poetry like this fable of La Fontaine I’m not so sure:

—> LE LIÈVRE ET LA TORTUE

Rien ne sert de courir ; il faut partir à point.
Le Lièvre et la Tortue en sont un témoignage.
Gageons, dit celle-ci, que vous n’atteindrez point
Si tôt que moi ce but. Si tôt ? Êtes-vous sage ?
Repartit l’Animal léger.
Ma Commère, il vous faut purger
Avec quatre grains  d’ellébore.
Sage ou non, je parie encore.
Ainsi fut fait : et de tous deux
On mit près du but les enjeux.
Savoir quoi, ce n’est pas l’affaire ;
Ni de quel juge l’on convint. …

STOP!  That’s enough, Jean! Remember kids are going to have to learn this!

So let’s brighten things up a little with a favourite illustrator, Barbara Nascimbeni. You can see a couple of her illustrations of the same fable here:

When Sam was a toddler we had Noisy Ralph:

Later on we had Archie Hates Pink:

I like her way of painting, also the way things leap all over the place, the way the point of view seems to dance.

I like the books she chooses to illustrate too. The one above, though it is German, seems to be an Anansi story (translate it please!) She’s done some Aesop’s fables, like the hare and the tortoise of course. She seems to have managed to get published in all sorts of countries too.

the bag-carried charms of lonely school-girls

blue crushed dreams drowned at noon-day

vented fortunes melted and re-created

morphed laughters reflected in a magenta pool

shadowy remains of the over-large green lantern

vultured skulls swinging by their guitar strings

music honeyed lions pondering the dancing stars

there a stare – here a smile – everywhere death

paper-thin mannequins feasting on shrimp salads

oceanic largesses buttoned and stored sideways

sun-dried tomatoes drank with overmuch salt

zion led saints proportioning those fairly decked nuns

swing crushed remains – the bread cracks of yore

the vegan induced convulsions of some carnivore

emperor dreamed lords dressed in nakedness

street whispered symphonies overtaken with sun-dried laughters

slithering oysters wrestling with some stranded toe

darling buds gnashing their teeth as they gently kiss those receding winds

suffocated wedding bands recalling past conquests

suffused pleasures desiring a proper vessel

the sweaty palms of boys chained in boarding schools

green sullied roof tops laced in brown jacaranda leaves

death masked violins overran with a craving for strings

there be but a remainder of mats – herded feet whistling their displeasure

overmuch excitement – the sure emblem of lovers at war

gloried bosoms rounder than the fairest august apple

middle apportioned fortunes starved of the seasons fallings

i pose a conundrum – suppose i cared

those circular yearning s teasing the pathetic fortunes of our failings

trombone led bands cowering beneath flute dresses

museum honeyed murals of masters unknown

leather clobbered loins remained upon the chiefest lizard cliffs

shop stewed beans rustling in their metal prisons

willows distantly dancing a fresh of the flowing muds

the punished sounds of choirs hanged at dawn

boot driven passions remained on a plastic plate

a loose lip here – a shoe there – everywhere death

numidian mushrooms sheltered beneath kilimanjaros shoulders

kissed birds overcome with grief

the booked imaginings of shy pupils giggling in rain

pampered lobsters sunbathing in their coffins

oiled thighs standing erect besides michelangelo’s david

yellow scented lusts of husbands given over to theatre

comedy driven longings – the perpendicular stares of wronged lover

the karoo streams – kalahari basins – toureg chants – gorgon encampments

they all be but simple venison servings

table laid charms bottled in salt

how fair are those dancing bears – even the same fur-less devils

suspended aloft that soon disappearing iceberg

night stars rushing purposefully to their deaths

sychellian crustaceans wallowing in grief

the bushveld  tropics leaning gently upon fair mozambique’s cheeks

soon-approaching monsoons announcing their arrival in himalayan chants

train hurried suns murmuring for a lack of attention

the haired touching of lovers stranded at and in the sea

easterly badlands housed in some papal estate

toe-tugged yearnings elegantly decked in straw skirts

of epher’s children – salute them with a gentle tug in either direction

craven red shoes seated upright in some rainy mud hut

of mau mau and his abandoned harlots – whistle only and touch not

burning forests housed wholly in her mouth

olympian straits considered and rejected

righteousness forced upon unwilling saints – they chose sin instead

snow-covered churches overcome with laughter

coat pocketed jealousies of rivals resorting to righteousness – dueling

scorched lands immigrating downward and into hell

cherry scented mustangs awash in fresh aloe

dew carried feet refusing the flung serving of fresh boots

the remaining african horn fed to the nomadics of eritrea

diseased waters bottled and sent to epher’s descendants

soap deprived ankles painted in valley yellow

dark suns prejudiced at the sight of blue oranges

suited bullfrogs desiring an audience with the priest

mournful dirges of some tragic anthem lorded over the plains

serengeti woodlands teaming with overmuch grasshoppers

lateral – dental – palatial

the rice grown hatreds of aphrite’s rude cousins

millet rinsed touchings of loves and lovers clothed in burnings

sight condemned ancients rehearsing their final movements

hurried motionings of sharks harpooned at the high deserts

drunk instructors condemned to the wine cellars

drought moustaches grown arrogant with the occasional brush

ankle dipped hands dancing on freshly painted ceilings

roman centurions sheepishly waiting upon the priests

the back covered lashes of whips crying at dawn

zebra teethed lions lying sideways – the feed was much

meditating monks nightly preaching patience as they doubt its efficacy

rib jointed searchings of parents transfixed upon some tragic statute

guitar stringed understandings of lovers soon to be loosened

hurricane gales refusing freely gifted medications – they instead desire destruction

church chimed machinations – the loud shadows of sarcadortal hems

leather-covered sweaters speaking of soon returning father abraham

marsh covered bibles resurrected to their mournful parents

papered lips pretending to care yet found out

fortuned souls buried in moses’ bosoom

piano starved school children emaciated and in need of fresh cassava

drunk pilgrims desecrating their holy places

curses courtiers given over to overindulgence

pleasured hips forgetting how to dress

earth abused servants despising their hoes

equator neglected bears doubly aggrieved

polluted musics distilled in yellow barley

tomato crushed dreams of lovers separated by war

tributaries of untamed passions spewing from eva’s bosom

tribal instincts of mothers caressing their pops – confused loves

crucified sailors condemned for purity of passions

the yellow ribbons circling about in their blue trousers

bus driven fears of known futures

boiled mannequins cascading in sheltered rage

the oiled ankles of lovers destined to fail

teaming marshes pregnant with the anticipation of your impending hanging

what would shylock do

such purity contained in those unassuming holy loins

not a penny more or less

the weighty pendulums of earthly expectations placed shoulderwise

upon such lowly flesh – pray for his rich poverty

freely consider the run – jonah did

circular chains layered outwardly upon her cheeks

wandering stares of the decomposing tortoise

craged backs of prisoners rejoicing at the sight of a whip

unseemly lovings of the nile priests

snow married rains competing for the mastery

roaming preachers begging for fresh underwear

any recall the simple pleasures of death

hyacinth troubled waters refusing to suffocate

consider the daffodils and their fair cousins – the black mamba

following – continue your runnings

street dancing muses overtaken with giggling willows

haggard poets taking up whistling

layered burnings of victims returned from their nightly flames

the bleached denials of lovers untrained in the art – of lying

caressed lips of saints hanged and burned by the eclipse

green creeks snaking around eva’s proud towers

ever populated with the bagged trifles of smiles sealed and delivered

expected rains falling only the honest sinners

touch not but freely reach

the flasked remains of wars forced upon the innocent

dirt condemned shoulders praying for rain

honeyed nights scribing the moanful chants of reunited lovers

built ruins of some ancient king – god

boot-straped cowboys jeaned and straightwith saddled

onion ringed stairs of pilgrims unfurling their carpets in prayer

stoned devils loosened on an unassuming friday afternoon

the shamelessly chanted charms of choirs rehearsing compassion

free range grains frustrated at the sight of a sickle

garden manufactured sandals covered in cassava peelings

the red vases of fortunes’ train soon approaches

temple plundered riches housed in some temple

boat driven suspenders tugging the wily doe

arabian summers spend it hibernation

square run destinies married to music slithered hands

love-worn seagulls taking up residence on greenland’s beaches

the pilgrim stares of submerged penguins

superfluous gains of tormentors destined to burn

collected unicorns aimlessly peddling their air cycles

terrace covered nakedness of summers spent at the arctic

zerubabel conducted symphonies arrested by the passing eclipse

the retrograde joys of past loves recalled in regret

of pains  known and grown out of – try harder

vase-shaped frustrations – even the same man nurtured

sandals of ambitions dead at birth

any care pass along the rope – how make you a proper noose

how sweet the contradiction daily raping humanity

baleful mourns of innocence hushed in the still of the night

bewildered stares fixed upon the priestly robes of the temple vultures

scavengers given over to overmuch prayer – before consuming their flesh

teeth mapped meats shaking with fear

with love and for love yet always serving self

hades scented saints marching triumphantly towards their sabbath pews

those proper passions gently housed in some harlots bosom

care consider her kind

rude awakenings of skirts hugged one upon another

round fingers – the meandering coins emblazoned with sea fortunes

sword kissed deaths transfixed upon some tragic mount

that they too desire to commune with father moses – any care find him

knee-nursed yearnings of some crawling pop

kettle-whispered lovings of mothers overcome with joy

loves journeyed in darkness only to be condemned by the searching light

some waffled longings of imprisoned cousins – twice removed

fortunes plundered and straightaway surrendered to mightier foes

watched yearnings of those round face anthills

care imitate the socialized hatreds of the sheppard

joyous singings at the news of the stranded winters upon the seas

today be the burial of some tragic figure – some son of three parents

scared remains of lovers burned in love – rather it be love that burned then -

or love caused these burnings – love burned them – in a word: they be dead

the dragon costumes singularly common yet without a mother

companies of soldiers bewailing their blood-muddied swords

pure-bred expectations of fathers married to daily runnings

parisian harlots – even those decadent damsels of notre dame

lamp lighted walkings of some painted corridor

symphonic laughters given over to overmuch prayers

recall the butterfly laced travels of righteous odysseus

the drought peopled apartments quietly screaming for chardonnay

touched purities of priests aggrieved in spirit yet glad in the flesh

palm lined libraries of cairo giddily seated adjacent jerusalem’s famous lamps

summer covered carpets laced with gerbera ferns

nightly runnings of forbidden lovers conspiring their next escapes

apostolic sureties of saint eva – blessed be her musical loins

poems collected in empty wooden wine skins

coerced laughters masked in the lying giggles of the anaconda

prayerful knees of the arabian monk wrestling with an empty sea shell

rehearsed returns of the blue women of the green lagoon

liberian tiles refusing their ordained marriages to cuban cements

any care hear of the loud shrills of the debauched crickets

plimsol expectations of princes ignored in plain sight

the returned piercings of lapped waters dancing in a great danes mouth

restrained sheep recalling their wild histories as dakota mustangs

of sacrifices a dove yet wholly unrepentant

rosy mornings carried in an empty jar

that the sistine chapel was erected by a harlot – aye even eva

that most righteous and upwardly decked saint of the weeping sheets

known of most for her convulsing inducing hands

virgin pilgrims remained upon their store-bought piety

some raisin cured yawns of the whited sepulchers housing her blessed remains

glass layered centuries of accusations returned and loosened

sweet-honeyed chirpings of the wooly mammoth

crane-spoted hyenas jumping rope in the serengeti plains

crowned turtles desiring the company of boiling lobsters

any recall the tearful repentances of proud nabucco

slaves become masters and enslaving their fellow slaves

how that in running – they instead lost themselves

have a care

My Mum found one of my old Grade 2 school books hidden away inside an old photo album from when I was a kid.

Not sure how old I was here but I figure that I was about 6 years old in Grade 2…

I always though there were 3 little pigs, maybe the other pig dropped out in grade 1

It still annoys me that I always missed the fairy parties. I suspect that my sister used to hide my boot-laces just so I would get the blame for losing them. Notice the teachers comment at the bottom of the page. Careless??? Lighten up lady, I was only 6 years old. I don’t remember her name but she was obviously a hard woman to please…

I had forgotten that Dad was a Riceaholic.

I turned the page & the story about the Gay Little Flowers & the Tortoise wasn’t continued. DRATS!!! Now we will never know what happened to the Tortoise. Obviously 6 year olds have short attention spans & aren’t that great at finishing things.

How many kids in modern times are lucky enough to find a ball of wool in the drain? These days they are more likely to find used syringes. I reckon Mum later knitted me a jumper out of it.

Hello space fans!

Today was quite a sad day, as many of you know I have a wonderful pet tortoise called Herman, he’s the bestest pet ever!

And as it’s now winter(where does the time go?) he has dozed off into hibernation and wont be getting up till spring time.
Here he is in his little box.

I find it quite fascinating that some animals can sleep for months at a time with no food or water, by the time Herman wakes up he wont have eaten for 6 months!

He’ll be missed dearly

nx

01. High Class Slim Came Floatin’ In

02. Prepare Your Coffin

03. Northern Something

04. Gigantes

05. Penumbra

06. Yinxianghechengqi

07. The Fall of Seven Diamonds Plus One

08. Minors

09. Monument Six One Thousand

10. De Chelly

11. Charteroak Foundation

Download: Clique aqui

Onze transes hipnóticos. A influência da música brasileira se faz notar nesse novo disco, que traz até baião.

Texturas, texturas…

Aí embaixo o vídeo de uma apresentação de 2004.

Io dovrei anche decidere che metodologia adottare per le VIE (Valutazioni di Impatto Economico) della tesi ma non ci siamo. E’ da questa mattina che non faccio altro che refresh qui e non mi ci stacco più.

E mi carico di speranze e di aspettative che non sempre il frequentatore medio dell’Estragon soddisfa (maledetti cazzetti indie-poser!).

Ma carica di spocchia e di tanti, tanti, tanti bacilli suinici, sono pronta a guadagnarmi il mio diritto alla fruizione perfetta a suon di colpi di tosse. Alla faccia dei consigli di Topo Gigio!

A tortoise narrowly avoided coming to a sticky end on the M25 thanks to the intervention of an eagle-eyed motorist, BBC News reports.

John Formby, of Worthing, West Sussex, had his interest piqued when some debris on the slip road at Junction 7 of the London Orbital unexpectedly sprouted a head.

Formby immediately pulled over to the hard shoulder, dodging traffic to bring the kamikaze chelonian to safety.

“Some other cars were coming up and a couple went round the tortoise. Two cars and a van drove straight over it, straddling it, but it didn’t go back into its shell,” he told the BBC.

Having secured the creature in the footwell of his car, Formby stopped at a local supermarket for some lettuce and a few tomatoes. Vets later discovered the reptilian pedestrian had been microchipped by its owners.

Billy Elliott, of Worthing and District Animal Rescue Service, who is not the ballet-dancing son of a coal miner for the fifteen millionth time thanks very much, said: “He must be someone’s pet and the family have relocated from abroad and brought him with them.”

“He’s very lucky to have survived. It would be the icing on the cake if we could reunite him with his owners.”

I took the opportunity to invite my close friends to spend the afternoon with my brother and I in our new house.

I love the fact that in order to get to the city we have to cross two different rivers, drive past a massive lake in a regional park, and slowly drive past a tortoise crossing.

I also love the fact that right outside my front door is a park.

I baked up a feast and we had an afternoon tea/bbq.
Everything I provided was vegan and mostly gluten free. Did not know how many people to expect but there was plenty for everyone.

This was just the counter in the kitchen, that I had prepared.

Stuffed Olives, Strawberry Cupcakes, Vanilla Cupcakes, Choc Chip Brownies, Sundried Tomato-Spinach and Cheese Muffins, Gourmet Salad, Corn Chips and Salsa, Garden Salad, Tiny Pastries and More

For some, it was there first experience with Vegan food. I’m happy to say they were impressed, and are keen to borrow some recipe books. Hurrah!

I hope you all enjoyed and celebrated Vegan Day in your own special way.

So today it was swimming and I faced the decision that often rears its head in life – join the fast lane or the slow lane?

If I go in the slow lane I will be one of the fastest and feel fit and pompous but my arrogant front crawl will be held up by the casuals in the lane that meander along smiling, heads above the water.  I will manage comfortably but not really push myself and soon get lazy in my stroke. But if I go in the fast lane I will have to be careful not to get my head torn off by a blade-like front crawl arm or a feisty kicking foot and be wary of tutting from tightly shorted men as they swim around me.

Now I’ve heard the story of the hare and the tortoise, we all have,  and we know who wins in the end.

Of course that didn’t stop me causing a traffic jam in the fast lane this morning. Well, that story was written a long time ago and it was about running!

L.A. Zoo

If you’ve been following my Twitterfeed recently, you’ll know I’ve welcomed the pattering of tiny feet into my home.

Tiny, clawed, scaly feet. Four of them. And a nicely mottled carapace.

And a beak.

This is because my partner bought me a tortoise for my birthday. A tortoise!

I’ve always wanted one, mainly because they live for donkey’s tortoise’s years and so you get very good value out of them. I still think a tortoise is the best christening present you could ever give a baby. It’s a present for life!

So while this blog really should be about copywriting and social media, for once I’m going to allow a bit of personal stuff in. This isn’t purely self-indulgent either: several people asked how Concorde was getting on at the Jackenhacks recently, so I thought I’d let you know.

He’s doing fine! And here he is:

What a beaut. Although he’s a bit out of focus because he was struggling at the time I took the photo. They do that, you know, tortoises. They do tend to struggle. Well, don’t we all?

When I say ‘he’ I’m not sure if he’s a he or she’s a she. I’m not sure how you tell without getting unnecessarily intimate. The shell must be there for a reason, and I say that reason is to hide a tortoise’s modesty. Besides, the name Concorde works either way. It expresses elegance and finesse well, don’t you think?

A story: when the delivery man turned up he looked a bit nonplussed.

“It says ‘Live Reptiles’ on ‘ere”, he said, pointing at the large label saying ‘Live Reptiles’ on the box.

“I know”, I replied. “It says ‘Live Reptiles’ on the box.”

Then he dropped the box.

“But I don’t think they’re ‘live’ any more” quipped I. My, how we laughed.

He picked up the box. “I fink it’s a tortoise”, he said. And dropped it again.

At least now we were more informed. He didn’t have live reptiles, he had dead ones, specifically one dead tortoise.

Eventually when I’d rescued the animal from Royal Mail I took him (for the sake of argument) out of his little box. He thrashed about a bit – well, you would, wouldn’t you, especially if you’d been dropped twice in one morning – but eventually we managed to contemplate each other.

I admired his colouring and his scales, while he blinked and hissed at me. Then he hissed and blinked at Milligan the cat, who just sat there wondering if he would taste nice.

So that was a couple of weeks ago. Since then I’ve set up his little tortoisery complete with heatlamp (see left).

I’ve also been feeding him rose petals and spinach with a calcium supplement, giving him a little bath once a week (apparently you need to do this to help them hydrate properly, plus I don’t really want a dirty tortoise as a pet, I want a nice, clean one), and letting him gallop around the room for an hour or so at lunch.

I can’t really tell if he likes his bath – he just sits there looking a bit glum – but he does seem to perk up when he’s running around (see right). OK, crawling. To give him his due he can crawl quite quickly, like some sort of Mars explorer running off solar energy.

But then I can’t really tell what’s going on in his head at any time. I can’t tell if he’s happy or sad, or bored, or delirious. Let’s face it, I can’t even tell if he’s male or female.

But it doesn’t matter. He’s a tortoise. Actually, he’s a mathematical tortoise. Count the plates on his shell (see left).

Do you see what I see? Three plates at the top, then six each side on the next row, then 12 on each side along the bottom. Clever little tortoise! If I find any more evidence of fractal design in him, I’ll let you know.

So, there you go. I might put some more pictures up as he grows – he’s only a hatchling, two years old, about the size of my fist, bless – and there may be videos to come if you’re interested. CarapaceCam? TortoiseTube? You decide!

Nel prossimo mese di novembre i Tortoise di John McEntire saranno impegnati in un mini tour italiano in supporto dell’ultimo disco Beacons Of Ancestorship. La post-rock band emersa negli anni Novanta suonerà a Roma, Firenze, Bologna e Milano dal 25 al 28 del mese.

Ecco i dettagli:
Roma, 25 novembre – Circolo degli Artisti (costo biglietto da confermare);
Firenze, 26 novembre – Viper Theatre (18 euro);
Bologna, 27 novembre – Estragon (18 euro + prev.);
Milano, 28 novembre – Magazzini Generali (18 euro + prev.).

Meninaaaaas, pra voces que sempre foram louca pelo modelo de “Tortoise” da Michael Kors (post Tortoise = Relógio = MICHAEL KORS!) mas sempre acharam o preço fora do alcance… chegou a soluçao!!! hehehe

A marca de relogios Dumont, lançou um modelo bem parecido, mas claro, com material inferior ao da Michael Kors… mas de longe, NINGUEM fala que nao é um. E o melhor… o valor nao passa de R$300,00!!!!

Abaixo o Michael Kors e o Dumont…

Dêem uma olhadinha no www.michaelkors.com e também www.dumont.com.br

Espero que tenham gostado da dica!!! Beijao