Staring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang of dancing ninja men who know how to twirl.

One more video after the jump.

There’s a handsome guy inside this comic.

Welcome to December.  Christmas is only three short weeks away kids.  Have you done your shopping?

Me either.

I’m too busy compiling our weekly fantastical trip around the internet as compiled by your friendly neighborhood GonzoGeeks.

As always, before we hit the links, its time for some cheesecake.  Ironically, it was a hit from the links that brought us this slice.  Say hello to Elin Nordegren aka Mrs. Tiger Woods.  Yes, she was at one point a model.  Then she married Tiger and became a wife and mother.  This week she became the center of a media blizzard when she allegedly worked Tiger over with one of his own clubs.

I think I speak for us all when I say…”Tiger, you sir, are an idiot.”

On to the links.

1. We start this week with a literal interpretation of  Total Eclipse fo the Heart.
2. METAL tournament bracket.
3. KISS Alive!  The homecoming.
4. Music biz accounting.
5. Japan re-enacts Tiger’s night.
6. A columnist takes BYU QB Max Hall to tasks.  Kudos to Hall for proving that Mormons can be douchey too.
7. John’s shameless self-promotion.  Updated almost once every month.  Whee!
8. Best.  Gimmick.  EVER.
9. Somehow, I think Freddie Mercury would approve.
10. Silly rabbit, the tweeting is supposed to take place AFTER the wedding on the honeymoon.  Tweeting means engaging in gratuitous sex, right?
11. Fun stuff!
12. More fun stuff!!
13. Another best of the decade list.  This time?  Comedians.
14. Apparently I’m not the only one digging the new take on Iron Fist over at Marvel.
15. And check out this homemade Iron Fist movie.
16. David’s Iraq deployment blog.
17. 11 great “edited for television” lines you making faker.
18. Comcast just bought NBC.  I’d be worried if I were Jay Leno.
19. Kevin Smith weighs in on Twilight.  This ought to be good.
20. 6 creepy urban legends that are actually true.
21. It might just seem like it guys.
22. 5 famous last status updates.
23. Since Scarlett Johannsen is playing the Black Widow in Iron Man 2, let’s take a look at some comic book commies.
24. Just in time for the holiday, nerd nativity scenes.
25. Sarah Palin has gone ‘birther.’  Just now?  Really?
26. 25 hilarious WiFi Network names.
27. Maybe Ronnie should lay off the MMA broadcasts for a while.
28. And finally, tomorrow night Chris and I induct Junior into the Army.  In his honor, its God of Thunder.  \m/

Every now and then something happens or I see something that really does make my day, today it was this, am grinning enormously right now:

In introducing you to all these new bands, we thought we’d be nostalgic and look back at all those great bands and brilliant songs that inspired a new musical generation. Here’s our favourite five from 1983

In no particular order

Bonnie Tyler- Total Eclipse of the heart.

Reaching #1 in the United States, Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom.
Peaking at number one in the charts, we’ll always remember Tyler singing her heart out, clad in white at a boys boarding school.
A modern day karaoke classic, Total Eclipse Of The Heart sold 6 million copies in the UK, impressive.

Prince- 1999

Peaking at #12 in the US and #25 in the UK (reaching #2 in the UK when re-released in 1985).
Back in 1983, who would of thought that come 1999 we would all be singing to this one on New Year’s Eve? The song only peaked at number 2 in the charts but was re-released 3 times. This is one of our favourites as it was great in 1983, but even better come 1999 itself.

Eurythmics-Sweet Dreams

Took the number 2 spot in both the UK and irish singles chart, topping U.S Billboard Hot 100 at #1
This had everyone on the dancefloor in 1983. Electro was flavour of the month and bands like Eurythmics and Human League were the most popular bands around. Sweet Dreams still manages to pack out dancefloors. Even thought the Eurythmics are no more, Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart are still highly regarded in the industry, writing, producing and still recording.

David Bowie- Lets Dance

Rising to #1 in over eight countries, including the U.K, Switzerland, Germany and Sweden.
A favourite Bowie classic of ours. Let’s Dance hit number one in the UK charts and was one of Bowies biggest hits. Hitting clubs up and down the country, Let’s Dance is still being played in indie dives and dark holes all over.

Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing

Hitting #1 in the Canadian and the New Zealand charts.

Dodai over at Jezebel breaks down Lady Gaga’s new video, for the song “Bad Romance,” and it’s pretty amusing.  This is why I like Lady Gaga as an entity: you can actually analyze stuff like this, and she probably meant to embed lots of those meanings.  Check it out.

My only worry is that 25 years from now, my kids will look back on it the way my friends and I look back on this classically wacky video:

Bonnie Tyler’s not quite as high-concept as La Gaga, unfortunately.

Heute ein praktisches Beispiel des Videoschnitts – das Musikvideo zu „Total Eclipse of the Heart“. Als ich es durch Zufall heute auf YouTube gefunden habe, habe ich meinen Augen kaum getraut. So viele Effekte, und was für eine Geschichte (ich wage es nicht, laut zu lachen, aber vielleicht müsst ihr das ja, wenn ihr das Video seht).

Im Moment spiele ich bereits mit dem Gedanken, mindestens die Glühaugen auszuprobieren … eigentlich müsste das doch relativ einfach sein. Ein „Glühaugen“-Bild in PowerDirector als BiB-Objekt in PowerDirector importieren und dann den Bewegungspfad anpassen. Ein Projekt für das Wochenende!

Ich bin gespannt, was ihr von dem Video haltet, kommentiert fleissig zu diesem Meisterwerk des Videoschnitts!

Update vom 14. November: Anscheinend ist das Orginal Musikvideo, auf das ich unten verweise, von Deutschland nicht abspielbar. Versucht deshalb bitte dieses:

I’ve found a new genre of hilarious time wasters on YouTube… the Literal Video Versions of music videos! Coupled with a few garish and bizarre music videos from the 80s (big hair! big shoulder pads! big on spandex!), I’ve just lost a few hours link surfing from video to video.

The following two are the ones I really enjoyed:

Total Eclipse Of The Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Hooked On A Feeling by David Hasselhoff (The Hoff!) – honestly, even without the humour of “literal video versions”, this is a pretty funny (sad?) video for The Hoff as he tried to break into the music industry.

Eine zwar nicht ganz neue Idee, aber trotzdem sehr nett gemacht. Ich sach nur: “Emo Kid is throwing Slo-Mo Dove at my Face”

SysterSmisk far med osanning. Eller var det en sån där ’skulle bara kolla om du var med’, som jag fattade efter ett halvår?

Hon sa att han var uteliggare i videon och jag tyckte att han var snygg ändå. Jag tror inte någon av oss sett videon för han är fan ingen uteliggare, han är bara ledsen och sjunger mol allen i en gammal fabrik. Varför han gör det är ju uppenbart, tjejen är borta och uteliggaren får tag på hennes kort och bränner över en tunna. Fan, dags för en bokstavlig version av I remember you här. Ungefär som i Total eclipse of the heart. Så jävla bra. Jag bjuder på den.

…Brighteyes?
Every now and then I fall apart.
Turn around, Brighteyes … etc

Well I’m not Bonnie Tyler. Which is a shame, because who wouldn’t want to look like this?

But to the point. I had my whine. It was just a huge tumult of throwing everything that had been chasing itself around my head for a while into one composite place where it could fester somewhere that was else, brought on by a variety of factors that every now and again just jump on you.

And I was amazed. Since posting I had three phonecalls and several texts from friends just saying, not much really, but I care, and that’s the tiniest thing to say but the most important thing I don’t say. And I’m not very good at articulating how much that meant to me, or what a monumental difference it made, or how much I didn’t realise I needed it until it happened, but I know how incredibly important it is to say it, and therefore I must reiterate the confused mumblings I have previously made. That is, I often forget exactly how lucky I am to have people like this in my life, and it’s all too easy for me to forget that, and I really shouldn’t.

I always try to be grateful to my friends. It wasn’t so long ago that I barely had a kind face under the sun. And I am, immensely so. I’m just still not used to having them there, and the idea of a dependence or a reliance on people just simply isn’t in my nature. I know they are there at the end of a phoneline. And it is never their fault that I haven’t called them in a while, because we’re all busy and hectic and it works two ways. It should be me calling them, not them calling me, if I am in trouble. It is my responsibility to ask for help, not theirs to guess when I might need them most. So in my gratitude there is a question, or rather a request, for forgiveness – if that isn’t too melodramatic a term for it.

So I guess, this is my awkward way of saying thanks. On the internet, publicly, because they deserve to be known for their kindness. For calling me at midnight and suffering by slightly befuddled whispers, and again the next day in Neros for nearly two hours, to talk about anything and everything that wandered before us, SuperPoet Interesting I am forever in your debt. For finding humour in the ASDA online store and the concept of pasta as large as your face, and for making me laugh when it was so sorely needed, Fiona I thank you. And for your dulcet gravelly masculinity tempered with affection, I owe Paddy more than wordpress can adequately express. I’d also like to thank Rosie, Laura and Alex, who I’ve hardly met in person, who runs his own online magazine (an inspiration for us all, I think) and said some of the kindest words my poetry has ever heard, for all sending uplifting words to me. Laura especially, for saying that because of something I’d failed to complete, she’d done something of which she was proud. This restores some faith in myself and reminded me of the point of all my projects and efforts, which before had seemed to fade from meaning.

I also have some incredible memories of this summer. This is the Somerset holiday with the Poets. I feel it needs to be here. It features SuperpoetInteresting, Laura and Fiona of the aforementioned paragraph as well. I have since gone through all the photos taken by everyone, not just on my own camera, and plan to make a scrapbook. But this is surely a highlight, from the first day of glorious sun and perfect relaxation, in the medieval castle grounds of Dunster:

The Poets

And because of this, I find myself thrown with renewed energy into my university activities. I might try to write a radio play, since screen plays are not to be. And I’ve become “Inter Society Project Co-ordinator” (or something) for the King’s Creative Writing Society. That means a place on the committee, and a chance to do this all again, but right. All I can take from my old experience is that, the elusive quality of experience, be it good or bad.

And I am still dubious. I’m still worried that a whole fresh set of people will reject and scorn me. Because I am doing the same things again – sorting the Society novel, and heading a reading group. But I’m going to go about it differently, or at least try to. I’ve sat down and tried to figure out exactly where I went wrong, because although I’ve been told the majority of people thought I was doing fine, I clearly need a new way to deal with those who don’t, and I’ve learnt that just getting overwrought and upset and letting them have their own way does not work. So I’ve read over the old emails I was sent, ignored the hurtful bits and tried to extract the concrete things I did wrong. I’ve changed the set up of the reading in the blind and possibly naive hope that a difference will be made – a switch from full novels to short stories, for instance, with a view to writing new things, not just the focus on reading alone. Maybe this, coupled with a steelier outlook and more patience, will give me the diplomacy I need to handle any cruelty that may or may not come my way. Perhaps I will be lucky and emerge unscathed.

But I was taught that when you fall off the horse you get up and get back on again. And what are horses, if not more humane, more complex versions of human beings??

Okay… I know, I know… there is this rule that you don’t post something that has already gone viral… But, I just saw this for the first time and nearly wet myself.

If you lived through the totally cheesy, spandex 80’s… this Bud’s for you. Enjoy

(Shout out to “Literal Video” and Dascottjr who rewrote the lyrics).

Depois que Jorge me dedicou a versão maravilhosa de Total Eclipse of  The Heart atuada por Tori Amos, resolvi só ouvir esta música o resto da noite, olha as versões que eu achei. Vamos começar com a da Tori, neam?!

Luiza te amo pela dica, morri de rir com a versão literal!

(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely
And you’re never coming round
(Turn around)

Every now and then, I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit restless
And I dream of something wild
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit helpless
And I’m lying like a child in your arms
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit angry
And I know I’ve got to get out and cry
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified
But then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
’cause we’ll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(all of the time)
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time, I was falling in love
But now, I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time, there was light in my life
But now, there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)

(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know you’ll never be the boy
you always wanted to be
(Turn around)
But every now and then, I know you’ll always be the only boy
who wanted me the way that I am
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know there’s no one in the universe
as magical and wondrous as you
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know there’s nothing any better,
there’s nothing that I just wouldn’t do
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you’ll only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
’cause we’ll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(all of the time)
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time, I was falling in love
But now, I’m only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time, there was light in my life
But now, there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around)…

Ytterligare en literal video, den här är nog bäst. Videon får sig en ordentlig känga.

Is it bad that my new sing-all-the-time song is “Total Eclipse of the Heart”? The literal version is the best, though I’m too lazy to memorize those words and the flatness of the singer bums me out a bit. I am tempted to by a Slo-mo Dove shirt though, because it is awesome. But unfortunately grad school applications and dance are sucking me clean of money. Here is the breakdown:

Grad School Cash Stealers:
-Applications- ~$75/per x 10 = $750
-GRE Scores- $20 x 7 = $140 (I already sent my scores to some during the test)
-Transcripts- $9 x 8 = $72 (why can’t I freaking upload my unofficial one to the application like U Penn allows…it’s not like I can change it myself!)

Total: $962…and I’ll eventually have to visit some of these schools too.

I’m too lazy to tally up dance costs, but suffice it to say that I am paying for hip hop, ballet (two separate studios, two separate bills), the Front Splits Fast Program to improve flexibility and the general well-being of my body which I am SUPER excited about (minus the fact that I was double charged and they still haven’t fixed that yet…), the ballet (currently Romeo and Juliette, but I’m determined to see as many PNB shows as possible this year) and probably one or two things I forgot haha. All in the name of culture and well-roundedness? I need to feed my passion, and that requires money!

In other news, Zach and I finally went out last night (we rarely go out on “dates” anymore) and saw “Julie and Julia”. I must say, before I even talk about the movie, that I was very excited by the previews. I almost started crying during “The Blind Side” trailer (with Sandra Bullock) which is a rather impressive feat since it’s only a couple minutes long. And some of the other previews looked good too. Maybe I will actually start going to the movies more . Anyways, J&J was awesome of course, but when you have Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci [edit: AND Jane Lynch...I love her!] you really can’t go wrong! But really, I thoroughly enjoyed that movie, particularly because I simply adore food. Probably 90% of the tv I watch are cooking shows, and even if I don’t actually like the food that is being prepared, I still get joy out of seeing it prepared.

That movie made me think about what I was doing with this blog, though. I mean I guess I had always made ‘blog’ synonymous with ‘online journal’ but I suppose to most that isn’t quite the case. I use it as a journal, to vent off some of my daily crazy, but I had forgotten about blogging as a conscious act of writing for other readers. Of course I hope people read what I write, but at the same time this site is for me first; the public comes second. Am I in the minority for not being more reader-conscious? I don’t read a lot of blogs so I have no idea. Oh vell.

In other other news, I have shin splints. AGAIN. I am clearly prone to the stupid, awful condition and I HATE that it takes me away from dance for several days. Bah. Yes I do push my legs with hip hop and ballet, yes I should probably soak them more or whatever, but I know people who push them just as hard if not more so and they don’t have this fucking problem!!! Grrr.

To end on a happy note, my belly is full of Ferrero Rondnoir (nom), the sun is shining (though my blinds are closed because I’m half naked HA), and I’m sitting next to a good book and a postcard from my dear Siobhan . Lol that’s all I got. Time now to shower, launder clothes, work on fucking personal statements, and eat healthy. And do other productive things. Like not reading said book…hmmm. I will probably read it anyway.

Un ami m’envoie ça hier en me disant: tu devrais rire pas mal. C’est pourtant une vidéo qui a été très regardée sur YouTube (près de 4 millions de visionnements) et j’imagine que le Patrouilleur du Web en a déjà parlé, mais fallait que je partage ça.

Par moment, les vidéoclips peuvent être des bijoux de créativité artistique: des concepts géniaux qui peuvent parfois devenir plus important que la chanson qu’elle met en vedette. Mais parfois, les concepts sont ridicules ou littéralement – excusez l’expression anglaise – “over the top”. Exagérés, un peu trop de direction artistique sans aucune cohérence. Forcément, c’est le genre de chose qui font rire certains qui s’amusent à parodier ces clips. Par contre, ils ne le font pas en filmant une “version parodiée” du clip. Non, on reprend les mêmes images et la même musique. Or, au lieu de chanter les paroles de la chanson en question, on chante ce qui se passe dans le vidéo.

Ces “literal music video” font fureur sur YouTube et si certains sont amateurs (et pas superbement bien chantés), d’autres sont fous de justesse et d’une drôlerie incroyable. Par exemple, la fameuse chanson “Total eclipse of the heart” (chanson phare des années 80 un peu kétaine, avouons-le) avait un vidéoclip, ma foi, vraiment “over the top”… Forcément, ça a donné ce “literal video” assez hilarant merci:

Franchement, je pense que c’est la passe des enfants de chœur à la “Village of the Damned” (image de la version de 1995, mais il y avait eu une version dans les années 60)… Un peu trop à mon avis.

This is a really cool music video. Some parts of it are a little weird, but what music video isn’t a little weird?

The thing I really like about this video is how well they did it. The lighting, the stop-motion, everything is just perfect! Plus its pretty funny.

Love someone, indeed.

You know what?  Light rock favorites, as in the music played on radio stations nicknamed “The River”, “Your At Work Station” or “The Heartbeat of Detroit”, are some of my favorites.  Actually, I take that back.  The music that Delilah plays on her nightly radio show.  That’s my favorite.  Her show’s slogan?  “Love someone.”  Her entire show is kind of like the “Long Distance Dedication” segment in Casey Kasem’s weekly countdown show.  Gosh, I love that.   How good was he when he made that guest appearance on that “Saved By The Bell” episode when Lisa competes in the dance off despite her badly sprained ankle?!?!  So good.

I’ve been in the mood for really sappy music lately.  And as of tonight I’m really digging sappy music in Spanish:

It resonates in this whole new, visceral way. 

P.S. I’ve never used the word “visceral” before.  How did I do?

What did someone say?  Creativity is 7% sweat, 93% avoiding the internet?  …or something like that. 

Well, ees a bit of a blue Tuesday (actually bit of a blue period generally) so when I saw this link and blindly followed it, it did actually cheer me up some.  Thanks Max!

Apparently there’s a whole series of these, featuring A-ha, REM, Nirvana etc…but this seems to have caught everyone’s imagination the most.  Check it.  Then forget about it and continue having a good day.