Watching Tottenham draw with Aston Villa today and I think Shawn Bradley has come out of retirement from basketball to give English football a shot.  Holy cow Crouch looks awkward.

Basic Introduction: Upper: Microfiber with grip texture, lace cover, textile, TPU injected external heel counter. Outsole:Pebax, TPU, carbon fibre, pointed stud configuration. Suitable for use on firm natural surfaces. Profile:The v1.10 is an evolution of its successful predecessor. The upper combines a thin lightweight microfiber synthetic material in key kicking areas with a lightweight durable textile. The lacecover creates a smooth kicking surface and a unique look whilst the injected TPU application on the formstripe adds stability to the shoe. The one-piece outsole provides stability and support, utilizing a carbon fiber plate in the forefoot to minimize weight and to increase the reactivity in the flex area. The v1.10 features the second generation of PUMA’s revolutionary UNI technology. This construction provides an industry leading fit by perfectly replicating the unique PUMA AptoLast. The v1.10 was created with one thing in mind – to give you the confidence to be your fastest.

Going away from the Nike Vs Adidas war on football shoes there are some new shoes on the block. Look at the newPuma v1.10 iFG football shoes which is on one of its kind. As nike and adidas are too expensive, the attention is definitely shifted to Puma which offers very good shoes at affordable rates. And with the catchy yellow colour you are bound to be noticed.

Although i was more than happy with my Sakay football shoes with which in played for almost three years with heavy amount of wear and tear in it, they are no where to be found now. So now as the times are changing i am looking forward to buy these shoes once they are freely available in the showroom. The Puma brand is a good one to look forward with its wide range and low costs compared to other sporting giants. Not to forget they are the jersey sponsors of Tottenham Hotspurs which are always in the top tier.

Ok, so I’ve been a little busy and have not be able to post recently, however I come back to you with the goal of the week. Now, those of you who know me know that I have a soft spot for Arsenal (for Cesc Fàbregas and Andrei Arshavin ). This goal from Fabregas is truly fabulous and it was a derby against arch rivals Tottenham Hotspurs (Final score: Arsenal 3 Spurs 0 on 31/10/09 )

no matter who you support though, this was a truly great goal…

It is 3-0 to the Gunners!!!

For all the big talk dished out by Robbie Keane, his team just showed the opposite. They lacked in depth as they did really miss their most creative players in Luka Modric, Lennon and Defoe playing against their london rivals, who also missed a trio of creative players in Rosicky, Nasri and Walcott…it is a different matter whether they would have still made the team if they were fit.

Arsenal’s formation seems to be a rock solid one with Diaby and Song playing ahead of the defence and Song in particular looking like an ace when it comes to breaking the opposition moves and stoppinng play. Diaby seriously needs to improve and this is where I feel a Nasri(like he did in the Carling Cup) or a Rosicky can make a positive difference to this team.

Van Persie seems to be hitting a purple patch and Arshavin and Bendtner along with our new goal-scoring midfielder captain Cesc Fabregas seems to be combinign well. Sagna is looking more attack-minded and Clichy seriously needs to get his crosses right. It is amazing that this team seems to be having so much to improve and still doing good. I wonder how it would be once they all combine well and play to their potential. Vermaelen and Gallas are strong behind and the way Vermaelen headed out all the balls to Crouch I am not worried anymore about any tall forward troubling us at the back. I just want to see how Vermaelen will play against Drogba the physically strong forward whom we have not encountered so far.

One last word about Fabregas’ goal. He was absolutely fantastic and I am sure with this one he has become more adorable to the fans…you rock Cesc!

It all started with the North London derby at the emirates, where a Robbie Keane dialogue-inspired Spurs took on a ever improving Arsenal side in a lunch time kick-off. It started off a bit sober with none of the teams putting any pressure on the opponents and a few chances going to either side. I was in a sports bar in Mumbai, with four Spurs fans (all from UK), wearing my Arsenal tshirt,pegging the team along with an older British man, who was a Man Utd supporter. There was an India-Australia match happening at the same time and so you don’t have to guess why the crowd had turned up. So the football match was shown in one of the LCD TVs in a corner of the bar with all of us around it. The first goal should not have come as a surprise as I did expect Van Persie to be quicker than Ledley King. Maybe Gomes should have done better. And the second one was a surprise all together…I can’t believe that in modern football, such a goal is still possible. A wrong pass and then Fabregas went past 2 or 3 Spurs players who all seemed to be switched off before driving it past Gomes. That was a stunning finish and I believe that Fabregas will breach the 15 goal mark this season. He has 5 as of now,second to Van Persie’s 7. The third goal was always coming and I am glad we kept pressing for more and I wish Eduardo would have scooped the ball above Gomes instead of curling it around him. A 4-0 or 5-0 would have been even better against our bitter North London rivals.

Liverpool thought they were done with the worst last weekend when they beat United,but surprise surprise Fulham put up a fighting display to inflict Liverpool with their 5th defeat this season. Surely, Rafa should not be talking about winning the premier league now.  He better concentrate on saving the CL qualification to the next round with Lyon this week. He has a lot of injury problems to face with both Torres and Gerrard still suspect to make it to the squad. Voronin, Ngog etc are not exactly premier league quality and where is Aquilani??? Rafa has the toughest job among the Premier League managers and I think he could come under the firing line soon. But I do have to say that the Torres goal was a superb finish, he got one chance and he converted it brilliantly.

Manchester United beat Blackburn 2-0,which now looks like a comfortable victory, which it was not with the 30 million Berbatov missing a lot of chances and the Rovers crowd going “What a waste of money”!!! They have been slowly but steadily winning their matches and their squad strength is showing despite losing Ronaldo and Tevez.

Chelsea seems to be pumping in goals for fun. They now have 28 goals from 11 matches, that is next only to Arsenal’s 32 from 10!!! But with Joe Cole in the midst of things, the team is looking better and they seem to be piling up points before the big challenge that will come their way in December-January.

Manchester City are drawing too many matches and I think this is not good for a team which wants to challenge Liverpool for the 4th place in the league. With Tottenham and Aston Villa all lined up to challenge the top four, this season is surely going to be a gripping one.

Saturday sees the 162nd derby clash between North London rivals Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur and while only goal difference separates the third-placed Gunners from fourth-placed Spurs, history suggests that it is the home side who will pick up the points.

It is an amazing sixteen years since Arsenal lost at home to their arch-rivals, although many Spurs fans felt that last season’s 4-4 draw at the Emirates was as good as a win after their side scored twice in the last two minutes to salvage a point.

Off-field matters have dominated the headlines as far as Arsenal are concerned this week, with Arsene Wenger said to be mulling over a move for Spartak Moscow’s rising midfield star Jano Ananidze and American businessman Stan Kroenke upping his stake in the club’s holding company, prompting speculation that he may be poised to launch a formal takeover bid.

On the field, meanwhile, goalkeeper Vito Mannone’s place is under threat after some sub-standard performances in recent weeks and regular number one Manuel Almunia may find himself restored to first-team duties for Saturday’s crucial showdown.

Midfielder Samir Nasri could also come into contention for a place on the home bench after making his first start of the season in the midweek Carling Cup victory over Liverpool
Harry Redknapp has admitted this week that he too is keen to bolster his midfield options by drafting in Brazilian international Sandro from Internacional and the Spurs boss has also conceded that Roman Pavlyuchenko may be heading out of White Hart Lane when the transfer window reopens in January. The Russian international is desperate to secure regular first-team football ahead of next year’s World Cup, but has struggled to nail down a starting place for Spurs amidst stiff competition from Robbie Keane, Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe.

Injury-wise, Tottenham could be without Aaron Lennon and Jonathan Woodgate, both of whom picked up knocks against Stoke last time out, while Defoe remains suspended and neither Ledley King nor Luka Modric will be rushed back from injury ahead of the short trip to the Emirates.

Both Arsenal and Spurs have looked better going forward than they have at the back this season, so although a repeat of last term’s incredible 4-4 draw may be unlikely, it’s hard to see this game not producing a few goals. Home advantage will help the Gunners to start as favourites, but Spurs have enough firepower to trouble their rivals’ somewhat brittle backline and may do enough to grab a share of the spoils.

Prediction: Arsenal 2-2 Tottenham Hotspur

This weekend’s round of games in the English Premier League gets underway with a Saturday lunchtime blockbuster as fierce North London rivals Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur go head to head at the Emirates Stadium. The capital then plays host to another intriguing encounter later on Saturday, as Fulham host a Liverpool side looking to use last week’s impressive victory over Manchester United as a springboard from which to relaunch their stuttering title challenge.

Elsewhere, leaders Chelsea will be anticipating a rugged contest at the Reebok Stadium as they take on Bolton, while Manchester United will be confident of securing a home win at the expense of a Blackburn side who have conceded 13 goals in their last three Premiership games and have also had an outbreak of swine flu to contend with.

Burnley welcome Hull to Turf Moor in a clash that could have major relegation implications come the end of the season and the same could also be said of Stoke’s home game against Wolves.

Aston Villa will be confident of continuing their surge up the table as they take on injury-ravaged Everton at Goodison Park and surprise high-fliers Sunderland will fancy their chances of downing 19th-placed West Ham at the Stadium of Light.

Portsmouth’s season of misery has continued this week with the club being hit by a transfer ban due to unpaid debts arising from previous deals, although with inconsistent Wigan providing the opposition on Saturday, Paul Hart’s men may be able to provide a glimmer of hope by chalking up what would be their first home win of the season.

Unusually, there is just one game on Sunday and it takes place at St Andrews where Birmingham entertain a Manchester City side desperate to recapture their early season form and force their way back into the top four.

Liverpool’s clash with Manchester United may be this week’s stand-out fixture, but there are plenty of other intriguing encounters to look forward to as the plot of this year’s dramatic EPL season continues to thicken.

Saturday’s early kick-off is a Midlands derby at Molineux where Wolverhampton Wanderers will be hoping to bring Aston Villa back down to earth following their impressive victory over Chelsea last week.

The Midlands will then play host to another crucial game later on Saturday afternoon, as Sunderland boss Steve Bruce returns to former club Birmingham City aiming to build on his side’s balloon-assisted  victory over Liverpool.

Elsewhere, Chelsea can temporarily reclaim top spot if they beat Blackburn Rovers at Stamford Bridge,  Hull City can climb out of the relegation zone with a win at rock-bottom Portsmouth, Tottenham Hotspur can cement their top-four position by accounting for Stoke City at White Hart Lane and Burnley will ease at least some of the pain caused by last week’s derby defeat at Blackburn if they can maintain their impressive home form with a win over Wigan Athletic.

The first of Sunday’s four games is unlikely to be one for the purists, as Bolton Wanderers welcome Everton to the Reebok Stadium, before attention switches to Anfield and the latest chapter in one of English football’s fiercest rivalries.

The round is then completed in Manchester, where City will be aiming to force their way back into the top four with a home win over inconsistent Fulham and finally in London, where capital neighbours West Ham United and Arsenal will lock horns at Upton Park.

Back to the Premier league after the international break and a few teams have injury worries and knocks to consider, several players missed the midweek internationals, however i’m betting most of them are playing this saturday.

Anyway here we go

Aston Villa V Chelsea – Early Kick off

This will be a tight game after the internationals, i Believe, maybe wrongly, Chelsea have had more players on international duty and will have travelled further.

This season will be tough for Villa, last season they only really had Everton to contend with for the Europa League this year there is Manchester City in the mix as well as spurs and that makes them one of 8 or maybe more teams vying for the top 5 European places from the league, but of course there might be more depending on the results of the Cups. This must give them lots of pressure and it will be interesting to see how they do.

Chelsea are top of the league again after United stumbled at home to Sunderland and will want to ensure they will still be there at the end of the weekend but its a tough game away at Villa.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-1 draw

Aston Villa V Chelsea match discussion

Arsenal V Birmingham City

Will this game can only go one way surely, Birmingham have trouble scoring  and Arsenal have the best goal difference in the division.

Mcleish apparently have 40 million to spend in January and for them to progress they need to spend it well, until they they will have to work and battle hard to keep their head above water, their only chance against arsenal is to frustrate the gunners but in my opinion sooner or later the damn will break and if it happens early Brum could be on the end of a hiding

Mystic Jarv predicts 2-0 to Arsenal

Arsenal V Birmingham City match discussion

Everton V Wolverhampton Wanderers

After their horrendous start Everton are in the top half and are only 2 wins from third with a game in hand however i’m sure their realistic aim is the Europa League although like Villa they might find that a tough ask this season.

Wolves are beginning to be almost where i expect them to end up, thats in the bottom three and they have Villa at home next and Stoke away, both games they will do well to get anything out of.

Mystic Jarv predicts 2-0 to Everton

Everton V Wolverhampton Wanderers match discussion

Manchester United V Bolton Wanderers

Every week Bolton are described as battlers and thats because thats what they are , they don’t play free flowing football and have found their niche which has allowed them to stay in the top division longer than most people probably would have forecast.

United were woeful against Sunderland and in thew eyes of some fans the blame falls solely on the shoulders of Ben Foster. Personally i think its harsh but no more than i expected. I’m not saying he has been faultless but on a few occasions he’s been made the scapegoat where others were far more culpable.

It’s likely that Van der Sar will make his return and i hope for his sake he is faultless or he might find himself being jumped on.  Whether Edwins return inspires confidence or not i think Bolton might be on the end of a backlash.

Mystic Jarv predicts 3-0 to United

Manchester United V Bolton match discussion

Portsmouth V Tottenham Hotspur

Much of the discussion in the media has been what sort of reception Harry Redknapp will get, after winning the Cup and giving Pompey some good finishes in the league then he should get a good reaction from the Pompey faithful.

Pompey won last time out and that must have been a huge relief to paul Hart, their players and they fans. They will have to work hard to keep in touch and not be adrift come January where they will apparently have cash to spend. Avram Grant has been brought in as director of football and I can see him taking over should results not improve quickly.

Spurs got a point away at Bolton last time which is a venue they have struggled at in the past and other than against United and Chelsea have started the season well and will i think have too much for Portsmouth here

Mystic Jarv predicts 1-3 to Spurs

Portsmouth V Tottenham Hotspur match discussion

Stoke City V West Ham United

I can only see one winner here, Stoke are very tough to beat at home and West ham’s squad isn’t great and has a shortage of goals, not a good combination.

There have been a few rumblings of discontent at Zola too and they desperately need points to stop them being dragged into a season long relegation fight.

Mystic Jarv predicts 1-0 to Stoke

Stoke City V Sunderland match discussion

Sunderland V Liverpool

Liverpool apparently have worries over both Gerrard and Torres however i’m betting both will play. Liverpools defence hasn’t looked as good as in previous years and Jones and Bent ill put them under lots of pressure at home and if Sunderland play like they did against United they have a good chance of getting something from this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 win for Sunderland

Sunderland V Liverpool match discussion

Written by Jarv

So there you go, Sunday and Mondays games will be added Sunday

Before the Premier league kicked off, many football pundits and fans all over the world had their say on who all will be the top four teams in the premier league, come end of May 2010. Would it be the regular four of Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal or would the money bag Manchester City make a dent in the top four or would it be the consistent Everton, ever-improving Aston Villa or the temperamental Tottenham Hotspurs. Let’s take a look at the current position of the top four teams after 8 or in some cases 7 matches and see if we can predict who will remain in the top four.

For this exercise I am taking into consideration only these 8 teams who in my humble opionion will be able to challenge for the top four. So at the outset, we can see that the teams who have played 8 games (Chelsea, Man Utd, Spurs and Liverpool) have played 4 games at home and 4 away. And of the teams which have played 7 games, 2 teams  have had 3 games at home ( in the case of Man City and Arsenal) and 2 teams have had 4 games at home (Villa and Everton). So with this I think the stage is set for us to further evaluate how the top four teams have fared till now.

1. Chelsea

Played 8 Points 21

Home record: P4W4D0L0GF10GA1   Away record: P4W3D0L1GF8GA5

So far this season: Chelsea has been a team which has settled very well and plays at home with a lot of energy. Bench strength is currently strong. Among the teams they have played so far strong opposition has been in the form of Spurs and Liverpool, both of whom they defeated in convincing style. So thats a big positive. In the negative side they lost away to Wigan which was not expected. So they have some chinks in their armour which can get exposed by teams like Man City and Aston Villa. I strongly believe that they will beat Manchester United and probably Arsenal this year.

As the season progresses: They can suffer in December when they lose Drogba and Essien among others due to the AFC cup. And with the transfer ban (against which they have appealed) they might not be able to bring in anymore new players into the team. And we know the quality of their youth teams, so this is something which can prove costly. And in Decemeber and January the key clashes they have are – Man City(A), Everton (H), West Ham (A) and Fulham (H). These are tricky matches for them during that time. Remember Lampard who scored 12 goals last season hasn’t yet put his shooting boots on!!!

Prediction: To win the league if they manage to not screw-up in the Dec-Jan window.

2. Manchester United

Played 8 Points 19

Home record: P4W3D1L0GF9GA6   Away record: P4W3D0L1GF10GA2

So far this season: It has been a season of a lot of toil. This team is missing their goal-scoring midfielder in Ronaldo. He has not been replaced and please note that Valencia is NOT a replacement for Ronaldo. Their bench strength is suspect and players like Giggs and Rooney will have to give 200% on the field for this team to win any silverware this year. But they have their attitude still in place which has given them some very narrow wins and draws this season. Strong opposition was in the form of Spurs, whom they beat convincigly, Arsenal whom they beat not so convincingly and Man City whom they beat without convincing anyone. This team has been extremely lucky so far and I seriously wonder where they might have been against a wonderful Sunderland if not for that late late equaliser. It is interesting to note that once considered a fortress, Old Trafford has rained goals this season with the opponents scoring 6 goals in 4 matches.

As the season progresses: Their luck will run out sometime soon and the players will have to stand up and be counted, which they do most of the time. But an injury to Rooney may be the end of the season for United the way things stand. You never know, AF might even buy some quality player in the January transfer window to spruce up the squad. Last year this team lost 4 matches and drew 6. And this year it has already lost to first timers Burnley.

Prediction: Could end up in 2nd place with luck like this or else 3rd for sure

3. Arsenal

Played 7 Points 15

Home record: P3W3D0L0GF14GA3   Away record: P4W2D0L2GF10GA7

So far this season: Arsenal started the league with a thundering performance against Everton and except for the two losses in Manchester in which they were the better side in one, and the tight match against Fulham the season has been again one of flamboyant football when they have possession. When they lose possession, they seem prone for counter-attacks and nerves start showing. The league’s top scorer with 24 goals in 7 games, Arsenal has been excellent at home. But how they lost composure at Old Trafford and the Eastlands will be something in which this team under Wenger has not shown any improvement. And it is because of this alone that I will not rate this team to win the league. They had quality opposition in the form of Everton, Man United and Man City in which they lost two and won one.

As the season progresses: Last year Arsenal lost 6 matches and drew 12. And two of the matches which they lost this year were fixtures which they had won last year. So that is a concern and this team can again lose a couple more matches and probably against Chelsea and maybe another team which can break up their play and frustrate them. But I do not see that happenening as long as they have the flair players like Arshavin, Cesc, Walcott, Rosickyand Eduardo fit and playing. Remember we haven’t yet seen Nasri and Vela in action this year. Challenges could be when Song will go missing in action during AFC cup when the Gunners have some tough fixtures like Liverpool(A), Aston Villa (H), Everton (H), Aston Villa (H) and Manchester United(H). There is a very very tough 10 days period when Arsenal play United(home, Jan 30th), Chelsea (away, Feb 6th) and Liverpool (home, Feb 9th). This could make or break their season.

Prediction: To finish 2nd (optimistic) or 3rd (pessimistic)

4. Liverpool

Played 8 Points 15

Home record: P4W3D0L1GF15GA4   Away record: P4W2D0L2GF7GA8

So far this season: This year many football pundits predicted Liverpool to win the league, which I don’t think they will now. They(read Rafa) will not admit it, but it has indeed been a poor start and the bad news is that it can get worse. This team finished last season so strongly it could not have been in this state of affair, if it had got a worthy replacement for Alonso, maybe Barry. What was Rafa doing when Barry was talking to Man City. Aquilani might just crumble under the pressure to perform when he is back to complete fitness. It is really stupid of Rafa to buy a player who will be ready only by November/Decemeber in a year in which he knew he had a good chance of winning the premier league if he could build on the squad of last year. Let us not get into his scouting and transfer dealings, but why does he have to come out and shout each and every instruction from the touchline, when his team is playing. His team is mature enough to handle the match-situation. Either his team talk in the dressing room doesn’t work everytime or he thinks his team is stupid. They lost two matches in the whole of last year and this year they have already lost 3 and one of them at home. Agreed that they have lost to three strong teams (Chelsea, Spurs and Villa), but their Champions League outing against Fiorentina and too much dependance on Torres and Gerrard are not healthy signs of a good team.

As the season progresses: They have a tough couple of weeks coming up where they have to play Lyon in the Champions League (home, Oct 20th), Man Utd(home, Oct 25th) and Lyon (away, Nov 4th) again in the Champions League where they have to win to qualify for the next round. Rafa cannot put all his bets on Aquilani clicking else this could be his last year in Anfield. I can see them losing more matches in which Torres can be frustrated and the players coming on from the bench are not upto the Premier League standards.

Prediction: Yes, Liverpool will be the team to lose out of the Top Four this year if they continue like this.

In another super sunday, Chelsea take on Liverpool at home on Sunday. Rafa and Ancelotti have had some great Champions League clashes, but this is their first meeting in the premier league. Both teams are coming under some kind of disappointment in the League or from their European journey.

Chelsea vs Liverpool is the tie of the weekend. Liverpool lost their last match, which was played in Italy against Fiorentina in the Champions League and Chelsea though beat the Cyprus club in the Champions League by a goal, it made heavy weather in getting there. Coming on the back of a loss to Wigan, Ancelotti had a lot to say about the team and how he expects them to play. This has a draw written all over it with both clubs most probably looking at not letting the 0ther team score. Liverpool’s defence has been a cause for concern, Chelsea has Hilario under the bars, Lampard has had a barren run so far this season, Torres is the league’s top scorer. Well a loss will not be the end to their Championship hopes, as this year there could be a few losses to the contenders.

Prediction: 2-0 to Chelsea

Manchester United vs Sunderland has 3 points written all over it for United. It would be a surprise if Sunderland even manage to salvage a point. But having said that Kwenyone Jones and Darren Bent will look to trouble the United back four.

Prediction: 2-1 to United

Arsenal play Blackburn Rovers at home in a match which should again be 3 easy point for the Gunners. Blackburn and Bolton were the thorns of physical play whenever they played against the Gunners and now the ex-Bolton boss is the current Blackburn boss, so expect more physical clash. These kind of matches require an early goal for Arsenal to ease the pressure and open up play for some wonderful flow from the home side. Wenger supervises the first match after becoming the longest serving manager of Arsenal, thats 13 years and counting for you!!! Lets hope the team wins the match in style as a tribute for this man.

Prediction: 3-0 to Arsenal

Other tibits

Tottenham are trailing by a goal against Bolton, after 10 mins of play as I type this. I would love to see Spurs start losing form now on. Can’t see them sitting above Arsenal after 7 matches.

Torres has scored 46 league goals in 64 games(!!!, wishe he played for Arsenal, that would have been 128!!!) for Liverpool and would most probably be the fastest to reach 50 goals. To give you an idea of how the others fared for Liverpool;

Roger Hunt – 50 in 78 league games (current fastest), Ian Rush – 84 games, Robbie Fowler – 88 games,  Owen – 98 games

Before we adjourn this meeting, I'd like to show you all this doodle of you all in very compromising positions.

September 23, 2009

In attendance: CLT, Edna Morton (Research), James (Art Dept.), Meredith (Secretary).
Not in attendance: RF Interference (currently heading the House Committee on Un-American Sports Activities)

CLT: Alright. We’ve had a pretty good month, so far. Just a couple of things to note:

1. While readership is up, out leading incoming search is “Richard Simmons,” meaning we have made some inroads into a very fucked-up demographic. I don’t want to point fingers, James, but it’s all coming from the low-angle shot you took of him in his shortiest shorts.

While I’m sure we can all appreciate a nicely-toned ass, I’m not sure we need the kind of readership that is looking for sweaty shots of Simmons’ Ken-doll anatomy.

2. We need to work on our quality control. The New York Times Review of Blogs posted what some might consider to be a “devastating” review. They said we “lack any sort of cohesive theme or focus,” and that we only “occasionally show any sort of insight, mostly limited to rare moments when RF Interference can squeeze a post in edgewise.”

It goes on… at quite some length… let’s see… “caustic windbag CLT…” “amateurish cynicism…” “not real journalists…”

So, some room for improvement. Especially you, James.

And not to point fingers again, James, but your photo selection has slipped. I need concise, devastating pictures that can be easily used again themselves. If I have to spend more than 30 seconds thinking up the perfect caption, then that’s another This Week’s Featured Soaps that won’t make the publishing deadline.

James: Can I speak freely?
CLT: Sure. This is the good old U.S. of A., despite RF’s best efforts.
James: Most of the vague requests and posts leave a lot to the imagination. I’m not really receiving concise direction from you.
CLT: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m the talent. I thought with your fancy degree in… what do you have a degree in?
James: Middle Eastern architecture. I minored in Numerology.
CLT. Jesus Christ! Really? Who the hell is doing the hiring around here?
James: WordPress suggested me using their search engine. I was under “Humor” for no discernible reason.
CLT: Correct me if I’m wrong, but your diploma has calligraphy on it?
James: Yes. I suppose it does…
CLT: Well, Mr. Pompous Jackass Degree Holder, for the rest of this meeting you’re going to use your imagination and pretend that you are now living in a third-world dictatorship and anything derogatory you say will be punished severely.
James: [sulks]

CLT: Moving on. We recently ran a full page of retractions leading me to believe that our fact-checking is not up to spec. Edna?
Edna: I’m sorry, Mr. CLT, but I don’t have much to work with. You banned me from the internet after the fourth crippling virus I downloaded and the encyclopedias you’ve been picking up from the grocery store are short several volumes. Many of the pages contain nothing but coupons.
CLT: Let me cut you off there. And please, call me “Sir.” Your lack of resources is not really my problem. Or maybe it is. Either way, we’re going to simplify: this is your problem. Are you banned from the library computers, too?
Edna: I have one strike left, but it should be gone after they reboot tomorrow morning.

CLT: Alright. I’m going to call a quick recess and go have several shots. You wait here.

…

CLT: What the fuck? There’s nothing but Triple Sec and Cointreau in here! Where the hell did all the booze go? Edna?
Edna: [snores]
CLT: James! Smell her breath.
James: Why do I have to—
CLT: Because you are the unpaid and abused intern. I’m not going anywhere near her mouth. She eats black licorice all day and apparently drinks a lot of booze. When she opens that thing, it looks like the gateway to hell. Only with less teeth.
James: I’m not going to do that!
CLT: James. I’m going to start writing some numbers on the whiteboard. Stop me anytime… 23…
James: [screams and heads over to Edna]

James:Oh… god… oh god. She’s been drinking.
CLT: Thank you, James. I’m leaving that number on the board for the remainder of this meeting. Try to focus.

Meredith, take a letter. “To the estate of Clive F. Cussler…”

James: I believe Clive Cussler is still alive.
CLT: Really? How the fuck do you know? Flip through a sudoku book? Leave the facts to the pros. Edna? What do we have on Cussler?
Edna: [belches quietly, continues snoring]
CLT: Well, I’m calling that 2 vs. 1, James. Do the math.

“To the estate of Clive F. Cussler,

Thank you for your letter dated September 3rd, 2009. In response to your request for the removal of the offending Cussler interview, I have decided to continue running the post. Until you have conclusive proof that Mr. Cussler is not an insufferable prick and that his son can operate an automatic door without assistance, the interviews stays as is.

I will accept time-stamped video accompanied by a signed affadavit. You have my sympathy over the loss of Mr. Cussler, etc. etc. Go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,
Capitalist Lion Tamer“

Meredith, read that back to me.

Meredith: [reads letter]
CLT: Good lord! Do I sound like that? All overbearing and profane? Did you add something?
Meredith: No. I transcribed it exactly.
CLT: Hmm. Try to soften it up a little. Throw in a few “prithees” and a couple of F-bombs.

Meredith: [retypes letter]
Meredith: Would you like me to read back the edited letter?
CLT: No. I’m sure it still retains my famous quiet dignity. James, check the file cabinet for some anthrax and toss it in the envelope.
James: Jesus. You actually have some of that?
CLT: I picked some up in early 2002. Everybody had some. Scarcely a letter went out without a heavy dusting of it. It should be in the first aid kit.
James: It’s all gone.
CLT: Nothing? Not even a small but deadly amount?
Check out the box marked Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits. There should be some coke in there. Unless Edna got there first… Toss some of that into the envelope.
OK. Run that to the post office. And James?
James: [exasperated sigh] What?
CLT: When they ask you if there’s anything “flammable, hazardous, perishable, etc.,” try not to say something instinctive like, “It’s not anthrax. It’s cocaine.”

[James heads to post office.]

CLT: Anyone have anything? No? Edna? Edna!
Edna: [snores]
CLT: Alright. We’ll see you all next month, with the possible exception of James.

…

RF: What a night. Did I miss anything good?
CLT: We have lousy employees. Meredith is the only one worth keeping and I’m sure she’ll e gone once her first paycheck bounces. And thanks to Edna, the liquor cabinet is now about as useless as a fridge full of condiments.
On the bright side, James can be intimidated by writing nearly any number on the whiteboard.
RF: Right-o. Well, I’m off to exchange my greenbacks for British pounds and hit the pub for some football and unintelligible accents. You in?
CLT: American football?
RF: [glares pointedly]
CLT: Fine. Go Tottenham. Rue Britannia. You’re buying the first round.

-CLT

Chas 'n' Dave, pictured in happier times

Sol Campbell’s agent has confirmed to “Festival of Football” that the player has agreed to leave League Two side Notts County after playing only one match.

The ex-Spurs and England man is believed to have made the decision upon hearing the news that popular Cockney knees up merchants, ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’ had split up yesterday.

Reading from a pre-prepared statement, Sol’s spokesman said “Sol has always been a big fan of ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’, especially during his time at Tottenham Hotspurs, where they would often be invited to play at club functions, and he believes that it would be wrong for him, at this time of great sadness, to be playing football for Notts County. Sol would like it to be known that he is prepared to join Chas Hodges, in this hour of darkness, and play guitar, he is even prepared to change his name to Dave Campbell if this means that the legend of ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’ can go on”

The former Pompey stopper, 34, is believed to have been practising his axemanship on ‘Guitar Hero’ for quite some time and was always looking to move into the music business once his playing career had come to a natural end. However the opportunity to work with his pop idol, Chas Hodges, has proved to be too much of a lure and he is believed to be prepared to rip up his £40,000 a week, 5 year deal with Sven’s County in order to pursue his dream of touring the pubs and clubs of the UK, belting out “Margate”, “Rabbit” and “Snooker Loopy”.

Probably the most awaited manchester derby in recent times with the Arab money pumped into the blue half of Manchester looking to match the talent in the red half. Ferguson is already talking about Mark Hughes and his team and it is not in good humour, so he better be prepared for the worse in pre and post match interviews.

It’s City isn’t it? They are a small club with a small mentality. All they can talk about is Manchester United; they can’t get away from it. That arrogance will be rewarded. It is a go at us, that’s the one thing it is. They think taking Carlos Tevez away from Manchester United is a triumph. It is poor stuff.

This is what he said post the Tevez poster that came up in the blue half of Manchester.

On team strength, United is definitely weaker than last year with the exit of Ronaldo and Tevez. But credit has to be given to Ferguson’s team for their fighting attitude. They might look in deep trouble, like how they were in the last match of the Premier League, but they dig themselves out of it within no time. Average players like Fletcher come out in shining colours in situations like this giving 110% on the field. The way they played with 10 men were something not many teams in the premier league can replicate, probably the only exception could be Chelsea. And this attitude is what I would wish the Gunners can learn from Utd. But to me the most important player that this United team has is Wayne Rooney. He personifies this team the best. He got one chance when the team were leading 2-1 with 10 men and he converted a very difficult chance to make it beyond the Spurs. In team news, Rio Ferdinand looks like missing the match following his groin injury in the Champion’s league tie in mid-week.

Man City on the other hand come to this match at the back of a wonderful 4-2 victory against Arsenal. But what they have to understand is the fact that the Gunners gifted them opportunities which this United team will not. And city will be without Adebayor in this match and there is only a slight possibility that Tevez will pass a late fitness test to play against his previous employers. On paper City will have a good team pitting against Unted, but on skills and temperament, it would be a completely different ball game. With only Bellamy as the fit forward available, it would be a challenge to Hughes to put up an attacking front against United.

Wright Phillips vs Evra battle

Probably the quickest of the left-backs and right-midfielders in this league this would be an interesting battle on the cards. Anderson’s presence in the team becomes vital to support Evra in not just controlling Philips but also in helping him move forward and provide support to Rooney. Phillips on the other hand will hope that De Jong will break up enough play for the creative play of Ireland to flourish on the middle of the park.

City look more creative with Stephen Ireland and Wright Phillips in the team. But it could all be neutralised by the effectiveness of players like Fletcher and Anderson.

Prediction: 1-0 to Manchester United

Other matches

Chelsea take on Tottenham Hotspurs in a London Derby which is always interesting due to the sheer number of goals and attacking play. I think this time also we won’t be surprised if there are more than 3 goals in this match. Chelsea is far more superior and this is one match in which I think Spurs will miss Modric.

Prediction:Chelsea to win 3-1

An injury-hit Arsenal take on a flly-fit Wigan at home on Saturday.The good news is that Van Persie might be ruled fit for the match and the bad news is that, that is the only good news. Still many players are injured and will take couple more weeks before we see some new face in the team. Vito mannone will be under the bars and hopefully Wenger should start with Rosicky and Eduardo.

Prediction:Arsenal to win 2-0

Liverpool are away to West Ham who lost to Wigan by a solitary goal last week away from home. But at home I expect them to trouble Liverpool

Prediction: 1-1

By Cara Sulieman

FORMER US President George W Bush has been declared the worst culprit for making nonsensical comments.

And he is the only person to have two appearances in the top ten of a poll carried out by Aviva insurance.

It was his infamous statement that “our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we,” that clinched him the top spot.

He is joined by Bill Clinton, Boris Johnson and Eric Cantona in a range of foolish statements that span more than 30 years.

Inarticulate

The second spot goes to Terminator actor Arnold Schwarzenegger who declared “I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman” during his election campaign in 2003.

The top ten is filed with politicians and includes Gordon Brown’s confused answer to a query during Prime Minister’s question time earlier this year: “Total spending will continue to rise and it will be a zero per cent rise in 2013-14.”

But it isn’t just politicians filling up the ranks of the inarticulate, with a whole host of sporting blunders thrown in.

Football commentator John Motson started off a 1977 league match between Sunderland and Tottenham Hotspur by saying “for those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow” and earned himself fifth place in the poll.

Gobbledygook

And French footballer Eric Cantona bagged himself eighth place with his whimsical statement: “When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.”

Steve Genders, head of online marketing at Aviva said: “Politicians, sportsmen and celebrities are notorious for spouting a variety of vague gobbledygook, proving that getting a direct and straight answer is as difficult today as it’s ever been.

“Aviva has worked closely with Plain English Campaign to meet their strict criteria for the minimum amount of corporate jargon on its website, enabling users to find information on insurance and purchase directly.”

The top ten

1 – George W Bush – Washington, D.C., 5 August, 2004: ”Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

2 – Arnold Schwarzenegger, campaign, 2003: “I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

3 – Donald Rumsfeld, Department of Defense news briefing, 12 February, 2002: ”Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

4 – Murray Walker: “The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.”

5 – John Motson, commentating on Tottenham in 1977: “For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow.”

6 – Gordon Brown, Prime Minister’s question time, 1 July 2009: ”Total spending will continue to rise and it will be a zero per cent rise in 2013-14.”

7 – Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony about the Lewinsky affair: ”It depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If ‘is’ means ‘is and never has been’ that’s one thing – if it means ‘there is none’, that was a completely true statement.”

8 – Eric Cantona, press conference, 1995: ”When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.”

9 – George W Bush, Rome, 22 July, 2001: “I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.”

10 – Boris Johnson, Have I Got News for You, 2003: “I could not fail to disagree with you less.”

See more of our pictures at our Flickr site and videos at our dedicated channel,  Deadline TV.

Sebuah fenomena alam yang langka, unik, dan menakjubkan menjadikan sebuah pertandingan sepakbola yang sebenarnya biasa saja jadi terasa istimewa, dengan hadirnya sebentuk pelangi yang tampil dramatis menghiasi langit di atas atap sebuah stadion sepakbola.

Pelangi itu tampil layaknya sebuah hiasan khusus bagi pertandingan sepakbola antara kesebelasan Doncaster Rovers dan Tottenham Hotspurs di Stadion Keepmoat, Inggris, 26 Agustus lalu, tepat saat para pemain mulai masuk ke lapangan.

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para pemain berjajar sebelum pertandingan dilatarbelakangi oleh lengkungan pelangi yang indah (klik gambar untuk memperbesar)

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tampilan pelangi yang tetap terang saat matahari mulai tenggelam pukul 7:30 waktu setempat (klik gambar untuk memperbesar)

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Sebagai informasi ilmiah, pelangi terbentuk akibat proses pantulan dan pembiasan cahaya. Cahaya matahari menyinari air hujan, kemudian cahaya tersebut dipantulkan ke arah orang yang menyaksikan. Air hujan bertindak layaknya sebuah prisma cahaya yang membelokkan dan membiaskan cahaya matahari ketika memasuki air yang selanjutnya cahaya tersebut terpecah menjadi spektrum penuh warna dari merah ke ungu.

Pada fenomena di atas stadion tersebut, menurut ilmuwan, pelangi tampil begitu jernih dengan tampilan warna yang begitu nyata, karena tetesan air hujan yang turun berukuran antara satu sampai dua milimeter. Kalau di luar ukuran itu, pelangi akan terlihat kabur.

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Pelangi pelangi alangkah indahmu merah kuning hijau di langit yang biru pelukismu agung siapa gerangan pelangi pelangi ciptaan siapa?

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O i a. Sekedar tambahan, siapa tahu ada yang ingin tahu, pertandingan sepakbola dalam rangka Carling Cup tersebut akhirnya dimenangi oleh Tottenham Hotspur dengan skor 5-1. Nggak ada yang tanya ya?

God’s The Greatest.

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Baca juga artikel-artikel lainnya yuks….

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Este fin de semana ha comenzado la Liga española, la última que faltaba por comenzar.

Liga BBVA

Han ganado Madrid y Barcelona. Algunos de sus competidores fallaron clamorosamente como el Atlético, Sevilla y Villareal. Tan solo el Zaragoza ganó, de los tres ascendidos.

Sábado 29

Real Madrid – Deportivo 3 – 2 Raúl 27′, C. Ronaldo 35′, Lass 60′ / Riki 30′, Valerón 46′

Zaragoza – Tenerife 1 – 0 Arizmendi 73′

Domingo 30

Athletic Bilbao – RCD Español 1 – 0 Toquero 78′

Málaga – Atlético Madrid 3 – 0 Baha 29′, Manu 62′, Xavi Torres 89′

Racing Santander – Getafe CF 1 – 4 Lacen 43′ / Rafa 13′, Soldado 28′, 33′ y 55′

Mallorca – Xerez 2 – 0 Aduriz 56′, Tuni 60′

Osasuna – Villareal 1 – 1 Pandinai 37′ / Cazorla 32′

Valencia CF – Sevilla 2 – 0 Mata 47′, Pablo 80′

Almeria – Valladolid 0 – 0

Lunes 31

FC Barcelona – Sporting Gijón 3 – 0 Bojan 18′, Keita 42′, Ibra 82′

Serie A

En el calcio el derbi milanes ha acaparado todos los focos, dejando en un segundo plano un interesante Roma – Juve. Inter y Juve ganan y convencen, el Parma gana su primer partido tras el retorno, Lazio, Genoa y Fiore siguen ahí arriba.

Sábado 29

Bari – Bolonia 0 – 0

AC Milán – Inter Milán 0 – 4 Motta 29′, Milito (pen) 36′, Maicon 45′, Stankovic 67′

Domingo 30

AS Roma – Juventus 1 – 3 De Rossi 35′ / Diego 25′ y 68′, Melo 90′

Atalanta – Genoa 0 – 1 Morreti 45′

Cagliari – Siena 1 – 3 Jeda (pen) 76′ / Calaio 52′ y 71′, Reginaldo 89′

Chievo – SS Lazio 1 – 2 Pellicier 16′ / Cruz (pen) 41′ y 53′

Fiorentina – Palermo 1 – 0 Jovetic 29′

Napolés – Livorno 3 – 1 Quagriarella 10′ y 83′, Hamsek 36′ / Lucarelli 48′

Parma – Catania 2 – 1 Galloppa 14′, Paloschi 47′ / Biagianti 15′

Sampdoria – Udinese 3 – 1 Pazzini 11′, Mannini 45′, Cassano 83′ / Di Natale 56′

Premier League

Sábado 29

El Chelsea y el Tottenham siguen coliderando la Premier y el City sigue ganando mínimamente siendo perseguidor, el United se llevó el partido del finde y por fin se estrenan con victoria los Toffes.

Chelsea – Burnley 3 – 0 Anelka 45′, Ballack 47′, Ashley Cole 52′

Blackburn Rovers – West Han United 0 – 0

Bolton Wanderers – Liverpool 2 – 3 Davies 33′, Cohen 47′ / G. Johnson 41′, Torres 56′, Gerrard 83′

Stoke City – Sunderland 1 – 0 Kitson 43′

Tottenham – Birmingham 2 – 1 Crouch 72′, Lennon 90′ / Bowyer 75′

Wolverhampton – Hull City 1 – 1 Stearman 46′ / Geovanni 3′

Manchester United – Arsenal 2 – 1 Rooney (pen) 59′, Diaby (pp) 64′ / Arshavin 40′

Domingo 30

Porsmouth – Manchester City 0 – 1 Adebayor 30′

Everton – Wigan 2 – 1 Saha 62′, Baines (pen) 90′ / Scharner 57′

Aston Villa – Fulham 2 – 0 Plantsil (pp) 3′, Agbonlahor 59′

Bundesliga

El Bayern ha conseguido ganar un partido a la ve que el Schalke pierde el primero. Hamburgo y Leverkusen son colideres.

Viernes 28

Borussia Monchengladbach – Mainz 05 2 – 0 Bobadilla 29′, Reus 84′

Sábado 29

Bayern – Wolfsburgo 3 – 0 Mario Gomez 27′, Robben 68′ y 80′
Bayer Leverkusen – Bochum 2 – 1 Friedrich 41′, Kiessling 68′ / Klimowicz 32′

Eintracht Frankfurt – Borussia Dortmund 1 – 1 Amanatidis 68′ / Zidan 62′

Hannover – Hoffenheim 0 – 1 Eduardo 40′

Schalke 04 – Friburgo 0 – 1 Cha 40′

Sttutgart – Nuremberg 0 – 0

Domingo 30

Hamburgo SV – Colonia 3 – 1 Guerrero 11′ y 69′, Trochowski (pen) 86′ / Chihi 76′

Hertha Berlín – Werder Bremen 2 – 3 Piszczek 77′, Ebert 90′ / Özil 57′, Borowski 74′, Naldo 83′

Le Championnat

El partido estelar era el Marsella-Burdeos que quedó con empate a 0, con esto hay tres equipos en el liderato, Burdeos, PSG y O. Lyon.

Sábado 29

Boulogne – Auxerre 0 – 0

Lens – Rennes 2 – 2 Demont (pen) 20′, Jemaa 72′ / Bangoura 4′, Gyan 90′

Lorient – Le Mans 1 – 0 Vahirua 63′

Nice – Montpellier 0 – 3 Dernis 4′, Montano 49′, Compan 77′

Saint-Etienne – Grenoble 1 – 0 Landrin 23′

Sochaux – Mónaco 1 – 0 Sverkos (pen) 20′

Olymique Lyon – Nancy 3 – 1 Gomis 37′, Lisandro 49′, Bastos 68′ / Hadji 57′

Domingo 30

PSG – Lille 3 – 0 Clement 27′, Luyindula 77′, Jallet 90′

Toulouse – Valenciennes 0 – 1 Samassa 87′

Olympique Marsella – Burdeos 0 – 0

Liga Sagres
En Portugal Oporto, Sporting y Benfica ganaron sus partidos, aunque el líder es otro Sporting Braga.

Sábado 29

Paços Ferreia – Vitoria Guimaraes 0 – 0

Associacao Naval – Oporto 1 – 3 Rolando (pp) 76′ / Falcao 9′, Varela 66′, Farias 77′

Domingo 30

Leixoes – Rio Ave 0 – 0

Uniao Leiria – Maritimo 0 – 0

Sporting Braga – Os Belenenses 3 – 1 Diakite (pp) 28′, Hugo Viana 61′ y 90′ / Yontcha 52′

Academica Coimbra – Sporting Lisboa 0 – 2 Liedson 64′, Yannick 84′

Lunes 31

Nacional – Olhanense 1 – 1 Aurelio 58′ / Fernandes 78′

Benfica – Vitoria Setubal 8 – 1 Javi García 16′, Luisao 21′, Cardozo (pen) 29′, 65′ y 75′, Aimar 35′, Ramires 37′, Nuno Gomes 85′ / Barbosa 90′

Eredivisie

El empate entre Feyenoord y Twente ha dejado como líder al AZ, seguido de ambos equipos y del PSV a dos puntos esta el Ajax.

Viernes 28

RKC Waalkwijk – ADO Den Haag 0 – 2 Milic 36′, Verhoek 52′

Roda Kerkrade – Vitesse Arnhem 3 – 4 Junker 27′, Struijk (pp) 54′, Hadouir 60′ / Nilsson 1′, Hofs 42′, Kaloglu 76′, Kolk 89′

Sábado 29

NEC – VVV Venlo 1 – 1 Zomer 52′ / Calabro 32′

AZ – Willem II 2 – 1 Holman 7′, Moreno 24′ / Zijler 23′

Utrecht – Sparta Rotterdam 2 – 0 Lenski 63′, Van Dijk (pen) 82′

Domingo 30

Groningen – PSV 0 – 2 Koevermans 66′ y 80′

Feyenoord – Twente Enschede 1 – 1 Makaay (pen) 90′ / Kuiper 74′

NAC – SC Heerenveen 2 – 0 Kwakman 51′, Amoah 58′

Heracles Almelo – Ajax 0 – 3 Alderweireld 68′, Cvitanich 87′, Aissati 89′

Juiler Pro League

En Bélgica el enfrentamiento entre Anderlecht y Standard ha acabado en empate a 1, y con una grave lesión de Wasilewski ( Anderlcht ) por parte de Witsel ( Standard ).

Viernes 28

Westerlo – Zulte-Waregem 1 – 2 Farssi 69′ / Berrier 52′, Nfor 90′

Sábado 29

Kortrijk – AA Gent 1 – 0 Benko 49′

KV Mechelen – Sint-Truiden 0 – 2 Wilment 68′, Sidime 82′

Lokeren – Mouscron 4 – 1 Janczyk 25′, Smajic 32′ y 44′, Sokota 54′ / Maah 76′

Roeselare – Charleroi 1 – 3 Gaaouiri 39′ / Théréau (pen) 20′ y 27, Habibou 30′

Domingo 30

Cercle Bruges – Club Brugge 2 – 3 Iachtchouk 2′, Buffel 10′ / Sonck 14 y 77′, Akpala 66′

Racing Genk – Germinal Beerschot 1 – 1 Ogunjimi 48′ / Haroun 38′

Anderlecht – Standard Lieja 1 – 1 Gillet 44′ / Mbokani 36′

Scottish Premier League

En Escocia el Celtic y el Rangers siguen manteniendo su firme lucha y ambos han conseguido la victoria.

Sábado 29

Aberdeen – Motherwell 0 – 0

Dundee United – Falkirk 2 – 1 Cadamarteri 49′, Goodwillie 56′ / Finnbogason 75′

Kilmanrock – Saint Mirren 1 – 2 Sammon 4′ / Mc Ginn 49′ y 68′

Rangers – Hamilton 4 – 1 Whittaker 19′ y 67′, Boyd 27′ y 65′ / Mc Laughlin 87′

Domingo 30

Hibernian – Celtic 0 – 1 Samaras 41′

Saint Jonhstone – Hearts 2 – 2 Davidson 23′, Hardie 90′ / Goncalves 59′, Obua 86′

Axpo Super League

En Suiza el Zurich a empatado, y de eso se ha aprovechado el Young Boys al ganar en el campo del Basilea, que va a menos jornada tras jornada.

Sábado 29

Aarau – Zurich 1 – 1 Stojkov 23′ / Stahel 50′

Lucerne – Saint Gallen 3 – 1 Hakan Yakin 43′, Ianu 63′, Kukeli 81′ / M. Frick 29′

Domingo 30

Basilea – Young Boys 1 – 2 Frei 7′ / Seydou 75′, Schnewly 90′

Sion – Bellinzona 3 – 1 Marin 30′ y 49′, Mpenza (pen) 40′ / Lustrinelli 13′

Lunes 31

Grasshoppers – Neuchatel Xamax 1 – 3 Salatic 8′ / Aide 45′, (pen) 55′, Wüthrich (pen) 58′

Grecce Super League

El Panathinaikos ha ganado y es líder, Olympiacos y AEK han ganado el primer partido.

Sábado 29

Kavras – Asteras Tipoli 0 – 1 Cesarec 22′

Panionios – Ergotelis 1 – 1 Bennard 24′ / Diogo 35′

Iraklis – Aris 2 – 2 Constantin 26′, Epstein (pen) 59′ / Javier Cámpora 21′ y 38′

Domingo 30

Atromitos – AEK 0 – 1 Blanco 58′

PAOK – Levadiakos 3 – 0 Vieirinha 61′, Filomeno 65′, Koutsianikoulis 73′

Pas Giannina – Panthrakikos Komotini 2 – 0 Kotsios 34′, Tzanis 66′

Panathinaikos – Xanthi Skoda 1 – 0 Katsouranis 40′

Larisa – Olympiacos 0 – 2 Leonardo 22′, Maresca 32′

Turkey Super League

En Turquía sigue la declive del campeón Besiktas, mientras Galatasaray y Fenerbahce ganan al que se ponga en el campo.

Viernes 28

Besiktas – Gaziantepspor 0 – 0

Sábado 29

Ankaragucu – Buyuksehir 2 – 2

Eskisehirspor – Antalyaspor 2 – 1 Yilmaz 10′, Youla 19′ / Zengin 2′

Kayserispor – Denizlispor 3 – 0 Cangele 2′ y 84′, Makukula 64′

Domingo 30

Fenerbahce – Manisaspor 2 – 1 Güiza 79′, Sentürk 90′ / Keles 86′

Kasimpasa – Genclerbirligi 0 – 4 Harbuzi 21′, Pektemek 59′, Carlos 77′, Meric 90′

Sivasspor – Diyarbakirspor 0 – 2 Yilmaz (pp) 7′, Mendoza 90′

Trabzonspor – Bursaspor 1 – 1 Colman 28′ / Bahadir 13′

Lunes 31

Ankaraspor – Galatasaray 0 – 2 Kewell 74′, Nonda 83′

Russian Premier League

El Rubin Kazan sigue líder y ha ganado a su más próximo perseguidor el Spartak Moscú, demostrando que va lanzado a por su segundo título.

Sábado 29

Tom Tomsk – FC Moscu 0 – 0

Saturn – Terek Grozny 3 – 0 Kuzmichev 9′, Ivanov 43′, Kirichenko 66′

Lokomotiv – Kuban Krasnodar 4 – 1 Sychev 69′, Odemwingie 71′, Cocis 73′, Wagner 87′ / Tlisov 62′

Domingo 30

Khimki – Zenit 0 – 4 Tekke 24′, Bistrov 49′, Rosina 68′, Zinovyev (pp) 90′

Spartak Moscú – Rubin Kazan 0 – 3 Semak 33′, Alejandro Dominguez (pen) 39′, Bukharov 58′

Krylya Sovietov – Dínamo Moscú 3 – 1 Adamov 67′ y 69′, Jarosik 79′ / Dimidko 63′

Rostov – CSKA Moscú 1 – 0 Osinov 83′

Lunes 31

Amkar Perm – Spartak Nalchik 1 – 2 Sikimic 90′ / Asildarov 19′ y 49′

Ukraine Premier League

Los dos grandes han ganado, y en el Dínamo su último fichaje, Shevchenko se ha estrenado de penalti.

Sábado 29

Zakarpattia – Arsenal 2 – 1 Davidov 41′, Gomez (pen) 83′ / Gusev 65′

Chernomorets Odessa – Dnipro D’petrovsk 0 – 1 Gomenyuk 83′

Kryvbas Krivyi Rag – Illitchivets Mariupol 0 – 2 Severino 76′, Tishchenko 90′

Domingo 30

Tavriya Symferopol – Vorskla Poltava 1 – 0 Platon 56′

Metalurg Zaporizhya – Metalist Kharkiv 0 – 2 Coelho 10′ y 84′

Karpaty Lviv – Obolon Kviv 5 – 0 Khudobiak 10′ y 15′, Zenjov 41′, Kuznetsov 53′, Batista 90′

Lunes 31

Shaktar – Zorya 3 – 1 Lewandowski 29′, Jadson 39′, Kravchenko 90′ / Lzarovich 8′

Dínamo – Metalurg Donetsk 3 – 1 Ninkovic 38′, Yarmolenko 44′, Shevchenko (pen) 90′ / Tanase 42′

As a service to our readership, Red Kop is proud to present EPL Team Reports Cards. As an ugly American standing in the path of world class soccer, it is only a matter of time until you are pulled screaming into the maelstrom, and forced to pick a club to follow as your own. With the NFL, it was different, most of us were born into a team along family upbringing or  geographic lines. This explains the existence of Detroit Lions fans, of which I am one. Even though I now live in Pittsburgh, the heart of Steeler country, home of Unitas, Marino, and Montana, in the depths of my soul I still consider myself a Lions fan. I don’t watch them and don’t miss them, but we will always have that special bond. If they somehow made it to the Super Bowl and won it, I would probably shit myself right in the middle of the party, ruining the evening’s very best Budweiser commercial for all those present.

But in the EPL, it does not have to be this way. You are free to pick whomever you want based on history, current team makeup, or just because you like the jerseys and wouldn’t mind wearing it around town. And who can blame you for your choice? If you are ever to follow the EP and the world’s most popular game,  at some point you have to decide whom to support. And why not early and informed, rather than ignorant and at gun point.

To aid in this endeavor, Red Kop will select Premiership clubs throughout the season, briefly peruse websites and wikipedia entries, and rank them in an objective way to determine how suitable each team is for adoption by your everyday, garden-variety, ignorant yet well-meaning American soccer fan.

Teams will be evaluated in 20 categories, in increments of Balls:

• 1 Ball= Umm, you do realize of course that you are about to start following the Memphis Girzzlies of the EPL?
• 2 Balls= How many whippets did you  do before having the brilliant idea to follow that particular  club came to you?
• 3 Balls= Rocksteady, solid choice, the stick of mediocrity by which all others are judged..
• 4 Balls= May involve a man-crush.
• 5 Balls= Your soul-team. You complete it.

The categories are as follows:

1. Name
2. Geography
3. Aesthetics
4. Stadium
5. Financial picture
6. Finest hour
7. Darkest day
8. Famous players
9. Managerial legacy
10. Ownership through history
11. Finest hour (modern times)
12. Darkest day (modern times)
13. Current players
14. Manager
15. Present ownership
16. Fans
17. Female conquests
18. Traditions
19. Music
20. If I were a character from Tombstone, who would it be and how many balls would I get for that?

So without further ado, please welcome today’s guest, Tottenham Hotspur.

1. Name – 4.5 Balls

Strong start for Spurs, right in the wheelhouse.  Possibly the coolest name in the league. References a Shakespearean character (Harry Hotspur of Henry IV Which one was that again? The one with Unto the breach of Agincourt or something?).

It’s like something Clint Eastwood would use to brand an outlaw’s face when he refuses to reveal the location of the hideout. There is no comparable name that I can think of in American sports.

Minor deduction for nickname “Lily Whites”.

2. Geography/ visitor appeal – 3 Balls

Another solid mark. Located in North London. Per Wikipedia “reputed to be the most ethnically diverse area in Europe” {citation needed} which is a bold statement- would seem to indicate a selection of restaurants and cultural stuff, which is good.  It also mentions “investment is slowly being pumped into Tottenham” which does not sound good. But it’s still London, and probably where you want to visit on a soccer pilgrimage to England, right?

A search of the Fodor’s travel site for Tottenham only turned up Hotspur stuff and a mention in the section “London: Meal, Deals, and Steals.” Hmmm. I just downgraded this to 3.1 Balls. In an unrelated note, that was also my college GPA, 3.1.

I’m a bit fuzzy on the geography grade here. If anyone is a Spurs fan or better yet lives in this area, please leave a comment, and include your Balls score 1-5 to the question “Is this the kind of place I want my favorite soccer club in the world to call home?”

3. Aesthetics – 3.5 Balls

Pretty good actually. White and navy, clean classic look. Gambling website which is a plus. Old English M looks good compared to a lot of companies’ logos. Surprisingly, the symbol is red, calling to mind archrival and neighbor Arsenal.

Outline of a cockerel and a ball on the left breast, with a spur sticking out that we might only imagine is hot. That’s about it.

4. Stadium – 3 Balls

White Hart Lane- good name. Very English sounding. Like where Robin Hood would keep his PO box.

Pluses: Built on site of a pub (you couldn’t just throw up a flatscreen for 400 bucks, it took real commitment to open a sports bar), plans are to build the new stadium adjacent to the old (ensuring continuity) tearing down White Hart Lane piece by piece as the new corporate megatron is constructed. First opponent to christen the Lane was a team called QPR, which is apparently not a GLBT public broadcasting station. 11,000 people stopped chugging ale as fast as possible long enough to watch a 1-0 Spurs victory.

Big Minus: Club chairman has announced the stadium will not retain the White Hart Lane moniker but will seek corporate sponsorship to the naming rights; development of the plans are being led by the man responsible for the post-Jihad friendly Emirates Stadium for royal a-holes Arsenal. His name is Tony Winterbottom*. No seriously, you can look it up.

*ed. note: when I saw this I thought Winterbottom was a ridiculous name, but I just ran across another Winterbottom in my research, so maybe it is only a ridiculous name in America, like the way John Tesh is only considered a musician in Germany. You have to allow for these cultural differences.

5. Financial picture – 4 Balls

They are a Premier League team in a densely populated urban area and owned by an investment spinoff group  of a eccentric billionaire. So, pretty good.

6. Finest hour (Historical) - 4 Balls

Probably winning the very first UEFA Cup in 1972. Hard to say, I wasn’t there. Suggestions?

7. Darkest Day (Historical) – 2.5

Narrowly avoiding relegation*  just two years later with ex-Arsenal Terry Neill at the helm. Or selling star goalie Pat Jennings to Arsenal because they thought he was washed up, who then went on to play 327 more games for Arsenal in goal as they searched for a suitable replacement.

*FYI to ignorant Americans, relegation is when they take the teams that finish in the bottom 4 places in the league and kick them into a lower league, brining up the four best from said lower league. Yes, I know it’s an awesome idea. No, I’m not sure why we don’t do that in the NFL. I do know that if this were standard practice here then my Detroit Lions would not have played a NFL Premier League game since 1993 though.

8. Notable players (Historical) – 3.5

Bill Nicholson – only player to score for England with his first touch and never play at that level again.

Danny Blanchflower – Regarded by many as best player in club history. Or at least that’s what I read.

John White – Went out as we all should; killed by lightning on a golf course.

Pat Jennings – Goalkeeper mentioned above- scored on Manchester United by dropkicking a shot the length of the field and over the other keeper’s head.

9. Managerial legacy – 3 Balls

Mixed – 37 managers over 111 year history but only five with winning percentages over .500. But hey at least none of them were Rick Pitino.

10. Spectacular Youtube moments – 3.5 Balls

Here is a video montage that may or may not have almost made me get misty.

To be continued…

Finest hour (modern times)
Darkest day (modern times)
Current players
Manager
Ownership
Fans
Female conquests
Traditions
Music
Karmic barometer/ culture/ intangibles

O bom volante Sandro, revelação do Internacional-RS no Campeonato Brasileiro, foi convocado pelo técnico Dunga para substituir Josué, machucado.

Ocorre que o Tottenham Hotspurs, da Inglaterra, esta negociando a aquisição do jogador junto ao clube colorado e também é público e notório que as regras para liberação de visto de trabalho no futebol inglês são bastante rígidas, a não ser que haja convocação do futebolista para sua seleção nacional.

Porque será que eu acho que nem tudo no futebol é coincidência?