We are pleased as punch to announce that registration for The Bombshell Experience is now officially open. Some technical difficulties delayed the process but we’re all set now. Woo hoo!

Smooches and kisses

How are you? I have had another wonderful week of healing with you. In one session, I was working on clearing 9th Dimensional conditioning – yes, you really do occupy a lot of the universe! Every layer of you contains conditioning, even those you probably don’t spend much time in consciously. The receiver’s experience was that she felt “strings being cut from way up” and freeing her from the issue I was working on. She commented that she was feeling a sense  of loss even though she wanted to let go of the issue at hand. She described this as a “loss of that part of ‘me’”. It’s an interesting one isn’t it? We want to be free, but almost always when we experience that freedom we mourn the loss of the very thing which was making us suffer.

In another session, the receiver “was amazed at how much [he] could feel the energy”, saying “It was amazing…”. This was his first session with me, and I think often there is a special quality to these first sessions because everything is so new and the sense of human connectedness is so palpable. It also felt to me that during this healing the Divine was using my body-mind-heart to love and nurture this person. Whatever is needed is what happens for each session; I still find that incredible…

On a different note, I am afraid I am ending the 4 for 3 deal. I can no longer afford to offer this – apologies. This does not affect sessions which have already been booked on this basis. As a reminder, my usual fees are as follows:-

Vortex Healing® / Reiki / M-Energy Healing / Infinity Healing / Swedish Massage : £80 (at least 1 hour)

Indian Head Massage : £30 (at least 1/2 an hour)

Cancellation fee (in cases of less than 24 hrs notice) : £50

When you come for a session, please press the bell several times as it is a bit temperamental. Enjoy your weekend,

Love,

xDaisy

www.daisynokes.com

I am good “piecer” but suck at doing puzzles. In fact, I get overwhelmed just thinking about looking at a box with 500 parts. Not my thing. However, looking at people, hearing their story, well, that is my thing.

I’ve been called a “human highlighter” and “business psychic” and (a time or two) a witch by my teenagers (who would have thought?”) My point is, I have an uncanny ability to see where people’s “puzzle pieces fit”.

For example, I have a client who has run a business for over 25 years and just started a new one on the side about 4 years ago. It was a hobby turned passion turned I want to make some bucks from this let’s give it a go type of thing. Fast forward a few years later, one business is on co-pilot, the other fun, passiony one, is where all of her time goes because it’s fun.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all about doing what you love and loving what you do and all the fuzzy feel good stuff when it comes to your job, but this scenario was a train wreck about to happen and this is why.

When it comes to your business, your life, whatever you do day-to-day, sit back and notice what is working and what isn’t. Hence, the square peg and a round hole analogy. Even if you love what it STANDS for but you feel as though your new job takes more than it should effort to get from point A to point B, well, it’s time to put down the hammer.

For me, I have gotten out the hammer a time or two to actually force that freakin’ square peg into that “it’s gotta fit and I’m gonna make it fit” round hole. With a whack and a slam, the peg fits – kinda.

Well, this is what happened with my client. She chose less time to do what came naturally, easily and had history (and yes, she likes her first job) to do the new profession. Which, by the way, was not running as smoothly.

It didn’t take a psychic, a crystal ball or even yellow highlighting pen to bring attention to the downward spiral and the simple fact that she wasn’t noticing something. This job just simply wasn’t the right fit.

It’s not about giving up. It’s about paying attention to your life. What is working, what isn’t, assess, and rethink. I call this a professional perspective check.

She was going more and more in debt by not tending to her original career (where she was making money but neglecting to market) and literally trying to force something that wasn’t happening with her second career.

It’s not about abandoning the ship when you decide to call it a day. It’s about owning the fact that you gave it a shot, it didn’t turn out the way you had hoped but continue to be hopeful that there are other avenues that will light that spark along the way.

My client was a little sad when she made this revelation, but quickly turned it around. She was lucky that she had a lucrative business that she had built that continued to make an income, although not as much as it should, during her time of exploration in other career avenues. I equate this to a loyal friend who watched by the sidelines.

Take notice of what is working, what isn’t and where you would like to go. Many of the times, where we think our lives should be headed is not necessarily the direction it will take but doesn’t mean it won’t be just as much fun.

Be willing to accept that at times, those pegs just simply don’t fit but that doesn’t mean to stop trying to fit those puzzle pieces of your life together in other avenues down the road.

And if all else fails, try a little WD40. Less splinters.

Open your heart to yourself and find the beauty in yourself that has always been there waiting patiently for you to come.  Thanks for reading! Much love Linda

This week I have been considering that healing and awakening are not about getting rid of anything. This may sound obvious, but there is often a hidden agenda in human beings that wants to get rid of what we don’t like, whatever that may be, particularly our feelings and thoughts.

But how can we be what we really are, if we cannot be all of it? Next time something comes up for you that you don’t like and your reflex is to ignore it, avoid it, transcend it or even be with it (but with the secret intention of getting rid of it), try simply allowing it to be here. I would be delighted to hear what happens.

Ric (founder of Vortex Healing) has written to us with an interesting tip on healing IBS and a host of other conditions. Here is his idea:-

“I just read that a study showed that 87% of IBS patients had anti-bodies in their blood that were attacking neurons in the gut (the gut brain). The idea is that these neurons of the gut brain regulate the gut, so if they are being stressed by the immune system, symptoms will develop. Most often, though, when the immune system is attacking the body, it is because there is a virus there.” 

I can release this virus with the level of Vortex Healing I am working with (this is also true for conditions other than IBS), so let me know if I can help you in this way. You may remember me writing to you a couple of weeks ago about gut brain and brain identities. Ric has discovered several others, the most interesting of which is an incarnational identity for each of our core issues. In other words, a deeply held identity in the very ‘vehicle’ in which we travel from lifetime to lifetime. After releasing an incarnational ID for one of you via Skype this week, this is what the receiver had to say:

“I wanted to cry with joy at the space…it was like waking up from a prison I didn’t even know I was in. It’s like I was in prison and didn’t even know it and then someone opens the door and it’s like, “Fuck!”. To know that I’m free of that place just feels like liberation and joy and it’s very emotional….it’s great. Massive freedom…and I’m feeling a very physical release of tension. It’s a palpable drop of tension.”

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Love, xDaisy

As one would imagine, the responses vary dramatically. One person might suggest it means “just in time” inventory management. One may suggest SCM demands that purchasing processes need to be highly tuned in order to take full advantage of supplier’s offers and bids. Another response from my clients might be SCM means maximizing inventory turns and throughput in the operation. These answers are all correct, but only to the extent that they are merely pieces to a much broader puzzle.

I’ll start by giving you my broad definition of SCM. Supply chain management is managing the entire process stream from when components and ingredients are captured from the earth to when these compounds are re-introduced into the environment.  The trick is to optimize how far upstream and how far downstream you can reasonably influence, manage and optimize the process.

According to the Council of Supply Chain Management Professionals (CSCMP), supply chain management encompasses the planning and management of all activities involved in sourcing, procurement, conversion, and logistics management. It also includes the crucial components of coordination and collaboration with channel partners, which can be suppliers, intermediaries, third-party service providers, and customers. In essence, supply chain management integrates supply and demand management within and across companies.

Dr. H. Christian Peterson wrote an insightful article titled Transformational Supply Chains and the “Wicked Problem” of Sustainability:  Aligning Knowledge, Innovation, Entrepreneurship, and Leadership. He characterizes basic supply chain performance as having two fundamental dimensions. “One dimension is responsiveness – the ability to deliver product or service benefits of value to targeted final consumers.  The other dimension is efficiency – the ability to deliver any given set of benefits at the best possible price or cost.” His paper explores “wicked problems.”

Dr. Peterson’s focuses on supply chain management becoming a “wicked problem” when other dimensions are considered, such as sustainability.  Wicked problems can’t be solved, but must be managed due to the dynamic characteristics of these elusive dimensions.  Note his use of “manage” rather than “solve.” You can find his article here.

Here’s my point: there are many dimensions of supply chain management that you can solve. These are not “wicked problems.” In my experience, many businesses think SCM is a “wicked problem” and do not invest the resources (money, time, or attention) to fully realize what is achievable. The tools are there: today’s ERP systems have the capabilities to solve controllable supply chain challenges. Contemporary approaches provide proven methods to embrace and optimize supply chain opportunities.

When you can do it better, faster or cheaper, you should be interested. When you can do it better and faster and cheaper, then it’s a home run: an obvious conclusion.

Here’s a great example. I was involved in a project with a well known manufacturer of laptops, desktops and server hardware. They recognized the obvious: by better collaborating with their suppliers in new product development and supply chain optimization, they could reduce costs and improve margins for themselves and their suppliers.  They launched and implemented a rigorous product lifecycle management automation project using an extension of ERP software that they already owned. The results spoke for themselves:

• Improved speed to market by 13%
• Reduced cycle touch points by 8/10 of a cycle
• Virtually eliminated defects
• Reduced WIP and finished goods inventory by 7%
• Improved internal margins and margins of suppliers
• Project investment recaptured in 4 months

Faster, Better, Cheaper.

Are you missing the obvious? Do you drive your upstream supply chain effort into product life cycle management? Do you drive it downstream through your distribution and logistics operations? Is continuous improvement a way of life, or are you settling for a “good enough” state?

We’ll explore this topic further. My next blog posting will be feedback from an interview with a mid-size business supply chain executive. She has evaluated her company’s supply chain and has identified many “chunks” of process that can be optimized or “solved”. Let’s find out what they are doing!

Meanwhile, try reading an excellent article from Aberdeen Research about Sales and Operations Planning (the “guts” of supply chain management) by clicking here.

Author:  Dean Auenson

]]> http://ganjaology.org/2013/02/13/lightning-in-a-bottle-rush-n-get-em-tickets-on-sale/ Wed, 13 Feb 2013 20:21:22 +0000 The Ganjaologist http://ganjaology.org/2013/02/13/lightning-in-a-bottle-rush-n-get-em-tickets-on-sale/

There is only 24 hours left to purchase your Rush-N-Get-Em discounted presale tickets for The Do Lab’s legendary music festival in Temecula, California, LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE.  Having moved locations this year, the energy at this festival is going to be like few other in the world.  Music, art of countless different forms, people from every corner of the planet, positive vibrations, and a beautiful landscape, will create an unforgettable and magical memory for all participants alike.

BUY YOUR DISCOUNTED PRESALES HERE!

The lineup is still unannounced but stay tuned for more about Lightning In A Bottle….

]]> http://lessonsfrombehindthepicketfence.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/searching-for-dimes-find-a-reason-to-believe/ Wed, 13 Feb 2013 15:53:58 +0000 Patricia Phelan Clapp http://lessonsfrombehindthepicketfence.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/searching-for-dimes-find-a-reason-to-believe/

The bottom line is, exactly how do you find reasons to believe when most of what is going on in your life causes nothing short of disbelief?

I have to confess, over the last few months or so, I have become very superstitious. Not the bad kind of superstitious, like worrying about black cats in my path or steering clear of ladders; I have become a believer in luck. This may counter act much of my “you are what you think” mentality and how we control our own destinies stuff, but I have had some fun with this stage in my life.There is a level to my persona that likes to test the barometers of thinking outside the box and to see what happens.

This is when my fixation with dimes began.

A good friend of mine explained to me the significance of a “dime sighting” as we call it. She explained that each time you find a dime, means good luck and a great financial future. She went on to say that it signified a loved one that had passed on was looking out for you.

In the beginning, I have to admit, I thought she might be a little silly ending an email or two confirming her good luck by the dime she found that day. “Geez”, I thought, “I have heard of pennies being good luck, but dimes? “I hate to say it, at first, I was a dime skeptic.

She continued to find dimes and to be honest with you, she is a dynamic person who really does seem like good luck sits on her shoulder each day – professionally and personally. So, I thought, why not? I was in on this dime thing. Behind closed doors, I was officially proclaiming myself to be the Sherlock Holmes of ten-cent sightings.

Ironically, dimes started appearing out of nowhere! On my nightstand when I would go to bed, in the middle of my bedroom floor after the painter had just left (and I swore up and down, that it was not there when I had vacuumed,) and so on. Dimes were appearing everywhere! I was on a lucky streak and loved it!

Each and every time I found a dime I felt that all was going right in my coin-seeking world.

My business had never done better, my phone was ringing off the hook and it seemed that each day, my life was smooth sailing. I was working out again, sleeping well, new clients were emailing me daily and kids were helping out around the house (And I thought the heavens would part for that to happen!).

This is the life, I thought. Where the heck have all these dimes been hiding? However, I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for their present day appearances and did not want to look a gift horse or rather coin fairy in the mouth.

Until one day, the reality of it all came crashing down rattling me to my coin-hunting core.

A few days ago, I was out on my deck telling my dime story to my kids and a few of their friends. As usual, I had a handful of nay-sayers but mostly, the younger ones were intrigued and wanted in on this good luck venture. Then, I noticed out of the corner of my eye the look my son, Jake, gave his girlfriend. Feeling my stomach churn I was thinking, “He is just embarrassed that I believe in all this stuff” and shook it off. But that wasn’t it as I looked into the big brown eyes of his sweetheart of a girlfriend who simply had to spill it, “Jake did it, Mrs. C.”

“Did what?” I panicked.

“I have been planting dimes around the house for months!” As he expressed in his every so smooth 15-year-old demeanor – Not!

“What?!” I said, heart pounding, beads of sweat coming off my forehead trying to rationalize how a kid that doesn’t even pay attention to which end of the bed he is going to sleep on actually cared about his mom’s preoccupation with silver coins.

My daughter, her friends, Jake’s girlfriend, all paused for a moment to see how I would react. Was I going to hit him over the head with the deck umbrella or shun him from family dinners for a month? What was I going to do?

Then it hit me. Yeah, it was great fun finding those dimes and thinking about my dime guardian angel who put them there. (I was sheepishly thinking of my aunt each time I found one.)

That’s when my AHA moment hit me!. Dimes or no dimes, my luck was still the same! I could still say I had a dynamic month at work, my finances were steadily on the rise, and personally, my guy, as well as my kids, was doing terrific! I still was able to own that good luck – dimes or not.

Most of us have good luck charms, believe in silly superstitions and little rituals that we hope to bring us good fortune and hope for tomorrow. And it’s what all of these things symbolize that really matters.

We are finding reasons to believe.

In a world that can throw us a curve ball or two at times we may not feel like taking a swing, look for reasons to believe in your life. Little moments that create hope for a better tomorrow. It could be the power suit that gives you the confidence when doing a presentation at work, or the belief that a dime means new clients are on the way – at the end of the day, it just reinforces your reason to move forward and live your best life.

So, go ahead, and go out and search for your dimes today.

Whether you find 2 or 20, I guarantee that you will feel a little lighter, hopeful and conscious of the good in your world prior to your coin lookout days. And, if all else fails, you will inevitably be a few cents/sense richer.

In two days, it will be Valentine’s Day which means it’s time to pay attention to what we love – people, places and things.

Although a Hallmark Holiday, I am sucker for  bouquet of flowers, a home-made card from my kids and an I love you or two. Yes, I will take it all in and love the attention for the mere milliseconds that it lasts.

What I don’t love about the holiday, which I can equate with being a business owner, is that it so often can magnify our loneliness – whether we are looking for a new beau, a friend or a client. It’s the time of year when being a two-some (or more for that matter – whatever floats your boat) can magnify alone-ness in your life, and for entrepreneurs who own their own businesses, too.

I loved being a teacher. The buzz of walking into the small community college I used to teach at would give me a rush every time I entered the building. From listening to the kids stories about their weekend escapades, I would listen, laugh and sometimes participate from old stories of my own from college days’ past.

I knew back then what I still know now, being the only one in the room can suck.

Fast forward four years, one LLC and 100 clients later, I still get a buzz from people and places, but it is far and few between. Much of my day is spent working independently as a consultant from home and/or one on one sessions with clients. My most favorite days of all (no offense to my rock star clients) are the days I have a group of people in for a social media workshop or a Be Your Own Success Story seminar.

We laugh. We share our frustrations. We talk about all things real. It’s about the “yea, me too’s of our life” that make you feel less alone and kind of understood.

Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC was born out of enthusiasm, hope and the love of “I get to do what I want when I want to do it.” Long days marketing, setting up social media profiles (it was a free way to advertise!) and all the fun stuff in between created a little barrier between me and the other part of the social world as we know it.

Boy do I know it.

Days are spent in my office and home office wondering what it’s like to have a colleague come in and tell as story, or ask about my day – not indifferent from the yearning we have when a teenager enters the room. We know we are not physically alone, but would give our eye teeth for a simple, “How was your day?” or “What’s new?”

Having your own business is not for wimps and people who crumble due to lack of contact or the need for validation. It just doesn’t work out that way and no business manual has this posted in Being in Your Own Business for (or rather is for ) Dummies.

But there is hope in the dark silence of your office.

Yet, in between the sounds of crickets cricketing is the hint of pride that shoves it’s way through (think cartoon guy jumping up and down) saying, “Pay attention to me!”

Quite honestly, I may be a member of this Lonely Hearts Club, but that was my choice, my business (literally ) and I call it mine.

So while you plan for that LLC or consulting gig, you do have the ability to steer the ship in any direction you choose – kind of like a Dr. Seuss gig if you want to go that route. The cool part of this solo journey is that really is all up to you to where it goes and what you want to do about it. And if it takes you to Florida to see a palm tree or two for a last minute trip, so be it.

For you control freaks of the world, unite – this is for you.

So grab your coffee and visit the other solo guy next door who may be playing Angry Birds while waiting for a call back from a client.  You are all in this together – despite the wall dividers and separate mailboxes.

On a brighter note, I’d rather be alone than lonely working for an overbearing, cranky, finger-pointing boss any day of the week. How bout you?

Thought so.

Matt Reed, Community College Dean and Cultural Studies scholar, argues that “superstars come and go…. On the rare occasions when a superstar is genuine, the main issue is succession: what happens when the superstar moves on?”

He seems to believe that charisma is at the heart of transformative leadership, and that transformational leaders develop “a cohort of superstars” as opposed to developing a “sustainable — which means adaptable — system in which ordinary mortals can do good work.”

His point would be well taken if charisma was in fact the greatest quality of a transformational leader. He talks about the limited resources at universities and colleges, the drama of having to say “no,” and the need to build a context where faculty and staff can “do their best work, given the constraints that actually exist.” These challenges are real, and his interpretation of the transformational leader theories cannot meet them.

He says he would rather create an effective team through ordinary coalitions than be –or seek –  “the Great Leader whose vision will redeem us all,” with the risk of letting “one person’s blind spots doom the whole.”

OK, I can see that a harried dean might react with some cynicism to the enthusiastic call for visionary transformation! There are few systems more entrenched and exhausting than contemporary colleges and universities, torn between not-for-profit and business models of administration. But transformational leadership isn’t about superstars, superheros or one-note visionaries.

Transforming leaders can’t skip the hard stuff, and charisma doesn’t take a vision much further than speechifying. Team building, re-framing goals, and even saying “no” in order to maintain stability while building new possibility are skills and practices required for transformation.

Educational institutions are in the throes of change, not only because of the non-profit/profit conflict but also because the ways we teach and learn are changing. Transformation is happening; transformational leadership is needed to empower and inspire the “intelligent, independent minded people” who make up the faculty and staff Reed respects so much.

James McGregor Burns writes, “the ultimate test of creative leadership lies not only in having a new idea but in bringing it to life, accomplishing the real-world change it promises. To do so, the would-be leader must reach out to others for help. But would-be followers will respond only if the new frame articulated by creative leadership speaks directly to them, to their underlying wants, discontents, and hopes.

“They, too, as Sederberg noted, must “experience something of an explanatory collapse.” They, too, must know the “aha!” moment of realization, grasp the urgency of the need for change, see its possibility, and envision its direction. They are transformed in a way closely parallel to the earlier experience of the emergent leader. But transforming leadership mobilizes only those who are, if latently, ready to be mobilized, and then only if the frame is true to their wants.”( Transforming Leadership, 2004 (pp. 168-169). Grove Press. Kindle Edition.)

No Great Man, Only Great Collaborations

In fact, transformational leadership theory developed in reaction against the “great man” approach to leadership, as a call for visionary leaders to move beyond ego and rhetoric, and into service and action. What better community to galvanize visionary transformation than the well-educated, passionate faculty and staff at colleges and universities?

Oh yes, faltering budgets, low pay, long hours and unreasonable expectations make it difficult — in every field, but certainly in the burned-out and disempowered cliques of academe. That’s a given. And that’s why leaders like Matt Reed need to read a little deeper in the transformational leadership literature — because the only real transformation for leaders and followers comes from someone like him — willing to be practical and collaborative.

All that’s needed to make him a transformational leader is a vision to re-frame and re-energize the work they do, with creativity and collective action.

As Burns writes: ” At their best, creative thought and action engender, for leaders and followers together, the conviction that the reality of their situation is not, in the words of the great Brazilian educator and theorist of liberation Paulo Freire, “a closed world from which there is no exit,” but “a limiting situation which they can transform,” a mobilizing and empowering faith in the collaborative struggle for real change. (Transforming Leadership (p. 169). 2004, Grove Press. Kindle Edition.)

Want a helpful resource? Check out The Transforming Leader, edited by Carol Pearson. (BK, 2012)

I have been reviewing material for my psychology licensing exam and found something interesting in the Industrial/Organizational Psychology section (and I/O is usually the least favorite section for people studying for the EPPP).  There is a concept of transactional vs. transformational leadership. The idea was first discussed by James Macgregor Burns but has been expanded upon by Bernard Bass (a brief synopsis). A transactional leader is one who focuses on the give-and-take of situations. This is quid-pro-quo type of leadership. The supervisor who focuses only on the details rather than the big picture. The politican who exchanges their vote on a bill for some specific benefit.  A transformational leader tries to raise everyone to a higher level. They inspire, motivate, and engender trust.  They make people want to be part of the change.

After reading about this theory, I realized that the people I have viewed as “great” leaders are, in fact, tranformational leaders. Here are some examples of tranformational leaders with whom I have had personal experience (to varying degrees):

• Freeman Hyrabowski, Ph.D.- President of UMBC, Dr. Hyrabowski not only has an interesting life story  but really cares about the development both of the university and its students.  I am honored to consider him one of my mentors.
• D.A. Henderson, M.D., M.P.H.- Eradicator of small pox.  D.A. not only rid the world of a deadly disease but he continues to speak his mind, trying to make the world a safer place.  I was fortunate to hear him speak.
• Rabbi Zelig Prag- Words can’t adequately describe this very special man. A leader in and out of the classroom, he manages to transform high school students into young adults.

These people have facilitated transformation on varying levels but each have had a profound impact not only on the lives of multitudes, but have also been examples of how to lead. Indeed, these are models of leadership for all.

Is like waiting in line
(at the post office)

Or the pot to boil
(if you’re not a cook)

Waiting for magic…

Is like waiting for Santa Claus
(when you’re a kid)

Or for the winning number
(when you don’t believe!)

Waiting for love…

Is like waiting for your Prince
(when you’re a Princess)

Or a sunny day
(when it won’t stop raining)

Waiting for the moment…

Is like waiting to write
(when you’re an author)

Or the right time to call
(when you’re in love)

Waiting on life…

Is like waiting on yourself
(when you’re alive)

Or think you’ll get it right or done
(when you never will)

❦

Funny how we don’t put that on the back windows of our cars.  “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for you life” makes a far superior bumper sticker than “God loves you and wants you to die.”

This truth out of context sounds awful.

Luke 9:23-24 (NLT) is rather explicit on this truth: “Then he said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.’”

See what I mean? Come and die.

T. Austin Sparks  (British Evangelist who physically died in 1971) said that the invitation is actually to recognize that we are already (spiritually) dead.

We have not to die; we are dead. What we have to do is to accept our death… [In] baptism… we simply step in there and say, “That position which God has settled with reference to me is the one which I now accept, and I testify here in this way to the fact that I have accepted God’s position for me, namely, that in the Cross I have been brought to an end.’

God’s love is absolutely beyond glorious and good and should make us smile bigger than any of the goofy bumper stickers imply . God’s love is not limited to my happy, well-behaved shell-of-a-self that skips through days with a grin. God’s love reaches down past the happy surface into the deepest and darkest places and brings cleansing and restoration to my decay, brings life to my death.

Perhaps my rejection of a gospel that sounds only a smidge more powerful than Bobby McFerrin is due to the fact that I know the stench of my own decay and know that anything less that a radical solution to my hopeless reality is just a bumper sticker.

Jesus Christ conquered death and sin. Jesus Christ calls me out of a grave and into the embrace of abundant living in His eternal family. God’s love expressed in the life and death and resurrection of His only Son Jesus does make me smile, but never as a candy coating over my tears, never as a chemical high to forget my fear.

 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

–Romans 12:1 (NLT)

I intend to transform myself to be the best I can be as I consciously recognize the potential within me is ever in existence under the boundless blessings of All That Is.  My transformation manifests through hard work, positive attitude, mental toughness, creativity and I take all the responsibilities of my actions. 

I affirm  not take things for granted and I will be grateful every day and celebrate my existence as a human being and strive to share the blessings I receive for the good of others and the society.

I learn to recognize the possibilities from many different perspectives ……

Pardon if I offend, but there’s no other way around it.

You need to get some balls to start a business.

I bet that got your attention. And I am sure I gave you a visual that you really don’t need this early in the day so keep drinking your cup of coffee and continue on.

When I was sitting with my go-getter client/friend the other day, I looked her dead in the eye when we were analyzing (and over-analyzing) marketing strategy and said, “My friend, I hate to say this, but you need to get some balls.”

With a smile on her face mixed with a giggle, she exclaimed, “Excuse me?

Seriously, when it comes to business, you need some balls. Take it or leave it, but it’s true.

Throwing the Balls

First, I always say, don’t pigeon-hole yourself to one “niche” or certain avenue when it comes to  your business.  My clients will most certainly agree when I say (and have said over and over and over again), “Throw your balls in the air and see what catches.” (Simply think of that beach game when you throw a prickly cloth ball to velcrow and it sticks.

One of the biggest mistakes that I made when I was just starting out as a coach, I marketed myself too specifically in a niche market. Rather than saying I am a coach who specializes in x, y and z type if servces, I just picked z.  I had an end result in mind of specifically focusing on one personal coaching arena not realizing that the very principles that I was using as a divorce coach, could be used in so many others – especially with professional coaching. (And, to be honest with you, I wanted to broaden my horizons, anyway. So personally wanted to do something else – another lesson in listening to your life – but that’s another blog.)

Fast forward a year two and assessing my mistakes, I eventually learned that when you start a new business, you may think you are going in this direction, but you very well may end up in another direction. Call it the Universe talking or money talking, have flexibility and pay attention to which ball catches.

Get Some More Balls

Secondly, and pardon the pun. But you need to have balls, aka the courage to leap (sorry to offend – but there is no other way around it and it’s not a term I am crazy about but I just had to do it) to start a business or to experiment and seek new ventures into the land of the unknown. This is where Jen and I really started to explore this who notion on how takes resilience, courage and the the simple act of really having some emotional armor when it comes with getting the word out about who you are and what you do – professionally.

We discussed the general fear that many small business owners have at one time or another through statements such as: “What if I bug people with my Facebook posts? What if people don’t want to read my newsletter?” Or worse yet, what happens when you find out that your friends aren’t really readying your stuff (yup – you can tell with Constant Contact stats) or even worse, what if people that you know check the box and do dreaded UNSUBSCRIBE? “

Yup, Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore.

Life Lessons from Jack and Why it Works

It’s been a tough year for many. Hurricane Sandy hit us hard – really hard here in NJ. Even if our houses are still standing (and this does not in any, way shape or form trivialize the poor souls who lost so much in the storm) but businesses took a hit, too. As a result, many of my clients (and myself) have had to learn a new tricks to find new business more aggressively, which means worrying less about what others think and more about getting out there.

This reminds me of  one of my favorite quotes by Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul),  “The answer is always no unless you try.” (In otherwards, you need to get your business information out there – period.)

Honestly, I face this every single day as I work on converting new leads to new clients and then pass these tools on to my clients. Yes, sister, I walk the walk and it isn’t always a straight line. It’s paved with self-doubt, second-guessing, “cover your eyes when you look at online marketing stats” and  guilt-ridden stares when having beers with the girls and then, out of the blue, one friend confesses, “I’m sorry but I just don’t read your newsletters.”

Gulp..or rather chug.

Your Business – Your Life – Your Choice

So, this blog is meant to give you honest, straight-forward, “suck it up you can do it tips” splashed with a bit of humor and hopefully, a moral of the story.

Starting a business isn’t for wimps. It takes 24/7 dedication, brainstorming, networking, marketing, re-evaluating, assessing and doing it all over again. I know, I may have just talked you out of that dream job, right?

On the other hand, having your own business means (for me) linking your passion with your career and sharing that passion with the world to make money.

It means looking forward to going to work (even if it sucks because you are having a slow week).

It means feeling “sucky” in your own business is still is better than feeling like crap working for anyone else.

It means being able to be home with sick kids, working your schedule around the volleyball and football games and making money on a rainy Sunday when your ex has the kids – simply by opening up your laptop.

It means having flexibility, (especially if you are single mom like me), to have choices to tend to a kid emergency, or take a day off  at the drop of a hat, if you need one.

Having  your own business means being in control of your life even if it seems out of control. For a control freak like me who likes to move a hundred miles an hour but later complains she has no free time, this seems to work for me.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

Finding Your Own Oz

Finding the guts, getting the balls and finding the courage to make the leap to launch is absolutely necessary if you want to be your own boss.

It’s just the way it is.

But, at the end of the day, you are able to know that 100% of who you are and what you believe in will be the reason for your professional success. You just have to have the hope, drive, ambition, and work ethic to keep going. Guess what? You do.

You know, Dorothy didn’t have it so bad and really was pretty smart, after all. She figured out how to find the courage (and I am not going to say it) to leave her comfort zone and explore the Land of Oz. She had a job to do, did it with grace and had a cute furry side-kick to boot. Not a bad way to leave your comfort zone and meet the wizard all at the same time. Good for her.

Happy Sunday, Peeps. Shut off the computer and have some fun today. However, get ready to get your hands dirty tomorrow. I’ll be alongside you working (and leaping with eyes open and shut!) every step of the way.

Because my church is halfway through the series of sermons of Transformation, the words transactional and transformational might not have any meaning to you. They didn’t have any meaning to me until today. In a definition of my own words, transactional is day to day scheduled stuff. I wake up, go to school, talk with friends, eat lunch with my friends, come home, go to sleep. Nothing exciting. But a Transformational day is when I meet someone new, talk with my friends about Christ, eat lunch with someone sitting by themselves; it’s a day that something special happens. Something out of the ordinary, or just deeper. A creation of a moment that actually means something in life. A moment that could make or break it.

Last summer during summer camp, the focus of the week was called “The Pursuit”. On the last day of camp, the visiting preacher told us that if there was someone that we needed to talk to, something that we needed to fix, that as soon as we walk out of the doors, we need to do it. Now is the time. His words really fixed themselves on my heart and later that evening, I asked my best friend to step aside so I could talk to her. At the time, I had felt that our friendship was going a bit downhill; it wasn’t as special or interesting anymore. And so we talked. She didn’t feel exactly the same way I did, but I was glad that I could at least let both of us know how I was feeling. I walked away from the conversation thinking that the world could not be any better.

I’m not trying to say that our friendship is bad or anything, but yet again, I’m getting that feeling that we’re missing something in our friendship. I’m actually feeling it in two of my best friendships. What we’re talking about doesn’t really matter and isn’t that interesting. I think that I’ve found the problem though. With both of my friends, when we started our friendship, it was a very God-based friendship because we’re all Christians. But now, after time has gone on, I feel like our conversations and friendships in general have become more transactional. I know that most people out there in the world are fine with talking transactionally all the time. I think that’s how my friends feel. But I want something more. God wants me to create more transformational conversations because transactional conversations are the water from the well, while transformational conversations are the living water that Jesus gives us. Transformational conversations and moments are the ones that will sustain us through our lives.

Going back to my friendship, I’m going to start to try and turn our conversations from boys to a more transformational topic. I know that with God I can do it. Without Him and those transformational moments, everything I say is worthless. And I don’t want to be worthless.

So anyone who hears these words of mine and does them, I will compare to a wise man who built his house on a rock. The rain fell, the streams flooded, the winds blew, and they touched that house, but it did not fall, because it was founded upon the rock. But whoever hears these words of mine but does not do them, I will compare to a foolish man who built his house upon sand. The rain fell, the streams flooded, the winds blew, and they encountered that house. It fell, and its collapse was great.

-Matthew 7:24-27 (DHE Gospels)

I was reading the various portions of the Bible related to Torah Portion Yitro on Shabbos and the recommended reading (from First Fruits of Zion/FFOZ) for the Gospels was Matthew 7:1 – 8:1. I’m not going to copy and paste or manually type the text for such a large portion of scripture into this “meditation” (you can click the link I provided and read it yourself), but I must say that as I finished reading it, I realized that this section of Matthew could actually be expressing a single thought. If you haven’t done so already, please read that particular part of scripture now and then continue reading here. It’s OK. I’ll wait.

Finished? Good.

Do you see what I mean? Look at what the Master is teaching.

Jesus starts off by telling his disciples and anyone else who was listening how to do tzedakah or charity, mainly in secret rather than making a big show of it for others to see. He delivers the same message about praying and gives us a simple model of a prayer. Again, he says the same thing about how to fast and reminds us of where our true wealth lies. Speaking of treasure, he defines the relationship between a believer and money and also how we need to trust God for our needs. Interestingly enough, in the DHE translation, Matthew 6:33 goes like this:

But seek first the kingdom of God and his tzedakah, and all these things will be added to you.

Tzedakah isn’t just giving to charity. The underlying sense of this Hebrew word communicates performing acts of justice and righteousness…in other words, doing good for other, which is much more than just donating money or goods.

He instructs his audience not to judge and connects how we judge others with how we’ll be judged by God (and that should be a frightening thought to many of you…it is to me). He talks about answers to prayer and trusting God. He gives us a basic rule about how to treat others using how we treat ourselves as a guide. He warns us about false prophets, and I’m sure you realize there are plenty of those in the Christian world today. Then he says something amazing and more than a little terrifying:

Not everyone who says to me, “My master! My master!” will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but rather, the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. It will be that on that day many will say to me, “My master, my master, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name do many wonders?” Then I will answer them, saying, “I have never known you. Depart from me, workers of evil!”

-Matthew 7:21-23 (DHE Gospels)

Recently, someone commented on one of my blog posts that, “Christianity is not about right belief or right thinking or even right behavior; Christianity is about right relationship…” I’m sure the people who the Master says he will send away will also think they had a “right relationship” with Jesus and will be absolutely shocked to find that they were wrong. But what happened? I mean, these people, according to what Jesus says, were prophesying in Christ’s name, driving out demon’s in his name, and performing many wonders in his name. How could they do all that and still have the Master say to them, “I have never known you. Depart from me, workers of evil?”

I’ve had several conversations with my Pastor and one of the things we’ve discussed is salvation, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise. What may surprise you is that he believes that not everybody in the church should be considered a Christian or “saved.” It makes more than simply raising your hand when asked if you will allow Jesus to enter your life or answering an altar call to really make you a disciple of the Master. If your life isn’t transformed as a result, then nothing has changed and you are still in exactly the same state you were in before you “accepted Christ” as your Lord.

So if just saying “yes” and just “believing” doesn’t do it, what does transform you? Actually, the better question is, how do you know you’re transformed?

Go and read Matthew 7:1 – 8:1 again. Jesus is describing a transformed life or maybe it’s more accurate to say, a “transformational life.” We don’t just change once and then get stuck, like flipping a light switch from off to on. We are, or should be, constantly changing and growing in wisdom and in the Spirit.

In Matthew 7:15-20, the Master teaches on how to spot a false prophet by the fruits he produces, but I think his advice works in spotting a false believer too, even if we happen to be one of them. Remember, some believers are going to be surprised and dismayed that the Master sends them away and even calls them (us?) “workers of evil.” I think that even though some people will be capable of performing wonderful acts of goodness, kindness, generosity, and even some miracles, that they won’t really have a living, growing, connected relationship with God. Maybe they think that “doing” is all that’s required or more than likely, maybe they’ll believe that believing is enough.

But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder! Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?

-James 2:18-20 (ESV)

It looks like a transformational life requires both faith and “walking the walk.”

A number of changes have been going on with me lately and I can only conclude that God is trying to get my attention. He’s got it. I realize that my own life hasn’t really been very “transformational.” Like I said, I don’t think such a life is either there or not all the time like an on/off switch, but I do think, to extend the metaphor, that my light has been pretty dim, or at least not as bright as God intends it to be. I’m not going to outline some multi-step plan of mine for letting my light shine brighter, but within my thoughts and feelings and actions, I am starting some changes.

I haven’t set much time aside for prayer, which I think makes a difference. Also, I haven’t been as dedicated to acts of tzedakah as I know I should be. If there is something transformational going on with me, it needs to be more visible, especially to me.

Rabbi Abraham Twerski has this to say on such a life.

“Master of the world, Who reigned before anything was created.”

-Siddur

The prayer Adon Olam is the opening prayer of the morning service; some congregations also recite it at the close of the evening service. It is also included in the extended version of the prayer upon retiring.

Adon Olam’s being both the opening and closing prayer is similar to the practice of beginning the reading of Genesis on Simchas Torah immediately after concluding the last chapter of Deuteronomy. There, we indicate that Torah is infinite; like a circle, it has no beginning or end. So it is with prayer, which represents our relationship with God. Since God is infinite, we never reach a finite goal in relating to Him.

Indeed, the cyclical natures of prayer and Torah not only indicate that there is no end, but also that there is no beginning. Secular studies have levels of graduation which indicate that one has completed a certain level. In Torah studies, we do not complete anything. Indeed, each volume of the Talmud begins with page two rather than page one, to teach us that we have not even begun, let alone ever finish.

Growth in spirituality has no limits. The symbolism in the cyclical format of Torah and prayer is that we cannot say that we have even reached the halfway mark in spiritual growth, much less the end. This realization should excite us, not depress us, because our potential is infinite.

Today I shall…

try to understand that regardless of how much I think I may have advanced in spirituality, I have hardly even made a beginning.

There may be a very fine line between being a sheep or a goat and I don’t want to find myself on the wrong side of the line. It’s not that I’m just being selfish (but yes, I am thinking about myself), but that I really do what to serve God and live out my high-sounding ideals. I’ve said that a life of faith isn’t like a light switch but there definitely is an “on” and an “off” involved. Ultimately, like sheep and goats, you are either one or the other, you are either a disciple of the Master in a lived, experiential way, or you are a poser.

To borrow a line from Rabbi Twerski, today I shall…

…start to live a more transformational life and bear the type of fruit that gives evidence to me and to the world that I am following in the footsteps of my Master.

Oh how I love the way Sesame Street uses pop culture to teach basic principles about right-side-up and up-side-down.

Even more, I love the other layers of social observation that point out humanity’s tendency to be unwilling to consider change to the way it has always been until there is a personal cost involved.

What does it take for any of us to consider personal transformation? Where am I up-side-down and need to be up-righted?

Photo Source: Huffington Post Canada

If you haven’t heard of or attended Tenx9 a monthly storytelling event in Belfast’s Black Box – you are seriously missing out on a human wonder.

Participants tell a 9-10 minute story connected to a theme and I’m telling you there is a wondrous beauty there in all the stories, the characters who are doing the telling and the act of listening quietly, patiently – an ancient and lost art, vibrant, heartbreaking and uplifting.  Furthermore it seems to be the event I’ve attended in the last two months in Belfast that seems to have not only survived but thrived in this season of protests – the place was packed, standing room only.

Among many stories this month we heard from Keira, who was terrifed before and drained afterwards when sharing this story of her own trans-formation about the family within ourselves:

Meet Kevin…

 Meet Kevin, my brother. He was a troubled person, he had good points but he also had his bad points, but he was a good friend to so many people and was very well loved.  He found it so difficult to say no to people – he did it so he could be loved, he feared that by saying no people would think less of him.

Meet Kevin, my brother the boy who could laugh, the boy who could cry, the boy who was bullied, the boy who seemed to view the world from the outside looking in, the boy who grew up to be a female.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he was my protector, he gave himself up for me, he gave his life for mine. My heart goes out to my brother, I know the pain that he was in but he always had a smile.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he was the father to 2 wonderful girls both of who gave him so much pride and joy; he loved them both so deeply, as do I. He feels he let you down and that he should and could have tried harder with you both, but thanks to my brother I have a relationship with my daughters that I can be proud of,  so meet Kevin, my brother, your dad.

Meet Kevin, my brother who will never know his grandchild, but I know he loved children, which is something he taught me and that he would be as proud of my granddaughter as I am with her. He taught me the wonders of children and how they view the world and through him I am Nana Keke to many.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he struggled throughout his life. He had a total lack of self-confidence and was so shy at times it was painful to watch and so cringe worthy, so meet Kevin, my brother the one who could never accept he was loved.

Meet Kevin, my brother who met and married someone, she nearly destroyed him and me by what she did to us, Kevin who was assaulted as a child in the park near where he lived, so meet Kevin, my brother the survivor.

Meet Kevin, my brother and also a brother to you, I know you miss him as well but know he did love you and he misses you as much as you miss him, I know each in your own way have had to deal with the loss of your brother, perhaps my living in Belfast made it easier perhaps it made it harder, only you can answer that. I know he would like me to say that you should just be happy for him now, this is what he wanted, remember him as part of a close family who were all loved, so for you meet Kevin our brother.

Meet Kevin, my brother, your son. I know you have struggled with what happened and that you don’t understand it, but I also know that you have accepted me as your daughter. It is a testament to you and how we were all brought up that you have managed to accept and love me as your daughter, so meet Kevin, my brother, your son.

Meet Kevin, my brother. I know I caused him a lot of his pain and that he could not understand what was going on, but I know he accepted his fate, he went for the operation fully aware of what the cost would be and he accepted that cost without any thoughts of backing out, or regrets. Yes he got nervous at the end, but that was due to him having what was his first and last operation, yet he could see the funny side of it, the view of not the sea in Brighton but of a car park, the fun in the bed getting wedged in the door on the way to the operating room.

Meet Kevin, my brother, it wasn’t all bad for him he did love his life as best he could, he loved his friends and family, he wasn’t a very tactile person but he did love you. At times he didn’t know how to ‘let go’ and just enjoy himself but he did try, he did find fun in his life but he needed to find contentment as well.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he struggled to find a place to fit in, he was a sad child and never understood the world he lived in, he could never voice this as he didn’t know how to say it or what to say. He would want you to know that despite all this he did know that this wasn’t the fault of any of you and that he did have fun times as well, playing cricket with all his brothers and sisters in Ruskin Park, playing with his friends, getting into trouble, and mischief.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he did feel in the shadow of others of his family, he was never academically minded and did feel that he needed to prove himself, but eventually recognised that he wasn’t learning for himself but to prove a point to others.

Meet Kevin, my brother your friend, you and he never met and never will now, but you grew up together and shared so much with your letters to each other. You shared your childhood and growing up with him, we now share our families and more, so meet Kevin, my brother your oldest friend.

Meet Kevin, my brother, he is someone I miss and I wish I had him as a friend now. As I write this I am tearful for the brother that I have lost, but I will never forget him and will always hold him in my heart, and I hope that someday all of you will be able to talk with me about him. He had to put up with so much in his life, but he never gave up, he always got up and tried again, time after time, so meet Kevin my brother the fighter.

Meet Kevin, my brother, I have so much that I want to say about him and share, but I also feel that I also need to learn from you about him. We had our fights as any brother and sister would and boy did we have some biggies, it is a wonder we talked. But he loved me and I loved him, we share the same gene pool, we shared the same body.

Meet Kevin, my brother, I hope that I can live up to his memory and that I don’t let that memory down, I am his legacy as all of you are with how you remember him and learn from him, so I suppose meet Kevin, my brother, the teacher we all never knew we had. He taught me to value you all and what it means to be loved and to love, he taught me to not to be selfish and that it is ok to look after yourself, he paid the ultimate sacrifice could any of us do the same, so meet Kevin, my brother who gave his life for me.

Meet Kevin, my brother, I do not think I can do my brother justice in the words I write and say but I hope that you feel that you are reminded about him and have got to know him, I want you to always remember Kevin and who he was and what he meant to each of you.

Meet Kevin, my brother, I can honestly speak for Kevin and myself here, the path he chose and that I followed is one that has no regret on it, proud to be who I am and where I came from, so meet Keira, your sister.

Meet Kevin, who I am proud to call my brother, I miss you my brother and I hope that you have found now what you were always searching for, peace.  I just ask you all too forever remember Kevin, my brother.

They say a restless body

Can hide a peaceful soul

A voyager and a settler

They both have a distant goal

If I explore the heavens

Or if I search inside

Well, it really doesn’t matter

As long as I can tell myself, I’ve always tried

(Abba -Move On)

A long fan of Disney animation, I love seeing this development that combines the human-touch beauty of 2D hand drawn animation with the wow-wonder of 3D computer generated animation. Besides the visual beauty, the soundtrack is masterfully orchestrated to perfectly participate in the story telling. Neither the music nor the visual background are only background — they are participants in the whole of Paperman.

Here is a short background piece that shares the voice of Director John Kahrs and shows the layering of these two kinds or styles or methods of animation. You can read more about this Oscar-nominated short on the Paperman Facebook page or just do the Google and follow that trail through bloggers and news-releases.

Here is the short film itself: PAPERMAN

I didn’t see Wreck it Ralph in the theater, but I read that this film is the short that ran/runs before that feature. (Are you fortunate enough to remember the first time you was one of the Pixar shorts run before a feature? Yeah, I still love the feeling I get when the story-telling starts.)

And of course I’m asking myself what I can learn from this evolution of animation. For me (for now) this is affirmation that it’s time to blend the best of two worlds in how I engage with God’s story.