“The storyteller’s here!”, that’s what I always hear,

As all the children clap, and sing, and cheer.

I tell them stories of life and of love,

Of queens and princesses and of castles up above.

I’ve told hundreds of earthly tales to many

And many of them know it truly.

But little did they know of my very own story

A tale I’m afraid to tell anybody.

But not to this one little friend I know

Who’s always with me throughout the show.

He knows none of those earthly fairytales that I speak,

But know every single detail of my very own story.

As the people’s loud cheers ring my ear,

From him is his piece of advice, that’s what I want to hear.

People tell me that I am good

But he tells me something that lifts up my mood.

I sure am glad to have known such friend.

One who’s always with me ‘til the end

And I hope that I’ll hear his own story someday,

That I may know what he’s feeling everyday.

I cried today; things are really stressful. It’s a lot of stuff I don’t want to list because it would simply stress me out more. I was so thankful I listened to Brooke Fraser’s “C.S. Lewis Song.” I’m listening to it still.

I was frustrated at myself today, because I’m too stubborn to ask people for things I need; I’m to embarrassed that I’m in need. I don’t trust too many people, and those I do, I don’t want to ask for anything from them.

I’m frustrated and down because people keep failing me. I think I can trust them, I think I can ask for their support, I think that they will be there for me or show they care when I need it, but they don’t. The times I do work up to courage to ask for their help or support or prayers, they still ignore me or fall through. It’s disappointing. People disappoint me a lot. And maybe I should just not have expectations of them; but I do if they call themselves my friends. My family has broken so many promises and my trust, and that began this pattern of insecurity. I struggle to trust people. I think I am very trusting, but honestly, half the time I can’t even open my mouth. And I miss my chance by the time I decide I’m going to say something.

There are so many things I am carrying on my own, so many worries that I have kept to myself. I sincerely praise my Father with unending gratitude for His faithfulness and that He is always there to walk alongside me. I cast my burdens to Him and He is strong and wise to take them. His love for me knows no measure, and He will never fail me. He never leaves me when I’m having a hard time. He never closes His ears to my cry. He always knows how to put a smile on my face. He knows my heart, how I feel and why. He knows every detail of what I’m going through and I can place it into His hands.

These troubles are momentary, they are only for a short time. I have hope…I wait for His hope…someday I will not have any stress or tears. I will only have eternal joy and peace in His presence.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Cor. 4:17)

Thank You God that this earth and all it’s worries will pass away; everything stressing me out is petty- no matter how important it seems right now. You promise me hope and my eyes will look to that ray of light.

“Hope is coming for me; Hope, He’s coming for me” -Brooke Fraser, the C.S. Lewis Song.

Hm ya how’s your day? hope great. but i don’t think it’s great for me. Friends come and gone. You will never can predict the age of your relationship. yeah yeah. I talked about friendship again. Maybe because i’m a friendship girl. Can’t live without friends.

Sometimes i feel lonely, thinking about how my family there in my hometown. Are they okay? About my future. Hate this feeling. Bad part of living alone. I just can’t make my self strong living alone here in the middle of nowhere. Feel so empty. So i think friend can fulfill it to make me be strong to face my life.

And nowadays, i thought i lose my friend again. The one that i thought can be my true friend. I got wrong. People change. I expected too much in our friendship. Regret.

I wanted i great friendship that would be last forever. Quality, not quantity. It didn’t work. I feel so sorry for my self that can be good for her. But like what i said, people change and absolutely forget to tell each others. Maybe she found something new for her life. Feels comfortable in the new environment. Good for her.

That’s not good but that’s okay finally for me. Life is full of mysteries. About life, family, love, and friendship. Life is like a circle that we don’t know where we are. Sometimes we ignore problems come to our lives. But I just have to face it. Cliche. I have to do this. I gotta be strong. Try not to think too much about life, try to be happy day by day, pray, do my best and hope everything’s gonna be okay.

Thanks god I still have friends. Another friends. And I need yous here . Without you guys i’m nothing. I don’t wanna lose friends again. Please be with me, and i’m sure i’ll be okay.

]]> http://mheikulet.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/cnn-hero-ka-ba/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:48:41 +0000 sassyassassin http://mheikulet.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/cnn-hero-ka-ba/ http://mrsozzie.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/drop-everything-friends/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:29:40 +0000 kez5 http://mrsozzie.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/drop-everything-friends/

Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.                 

                                                    Anonymous

Recently I attended a meeting with a group of inspiring, intelligent and amusing women.   We had lots of fun, and I left thinking they were the type of people I would like to get to know better, and perhaps one day they would become real friends.    I went onto meet another friend at a cafe for lunch, only to look up to see the same bunch of women from the meeting having lunch together.

Childishly, I felt my stomach tighten and an overwhelming need overtook me to fold myself up and slide under the table to hide.    I was again the awkward twelve-year-old girl starting high school amongst strangers who stood giggling in huddled groups while I stood alone.    I was the new girl, sniggered at, and not included.

Once upon a time making new friends felt like gathering pretty shells along the sea-shore.   There were a multitude to choose from, in all shapes, sizes, colours and textures.   You could hear the ocean when you put one to your ear, others brightened your world with their rich earthy colours, and there were those rare few from the ocean’s depths shaped just right to give you a good belly-laugh every time.   Our friends widen our outlook and bring new worlds to our doorsteps.

These days I find my beaches much emptier and the search for true friendship much lonelier.   It is easy to be surrounded by smiling faces and companionship, but there are invisible walls between us, busy lives and careers to pursue, children to chase and scold, and a lot of fear and apprehension at letting our hearts be seen.

Thankfully, I have a handful of people I refer to as my ‘drop everything’ friends.   When a crisis hits we literally ‘drop everything’ for each other.  There is no guilt, fear or embarrassment in asking for help.    These friends are there for me, and I am there for them.

Yesterday I had a pedicure with such a friend and our time together having our feet massaged in perfumed oil, sinking into cushioned massage chairs, glasses of champagne in hand, was like gold.   These physical luxuries were nothing compared to our lively conversation.   There is never any doubt that my friend wants to hear about my life, and I love hearing about hers.   There is an equality to the exchange, giving and taking, laughing and crying, or sitting together, relaxing and feeling connected without the need for words.

It is painful to lose a true friend.   I had a friend once who was in the ‘drop everything’ category.  We spent lots of time together for a number of years – weekends in the country, evenings in Double Bay watching the rich people while eating mudcake and sipping coffee, and many nights sitting up until the small hours discussing our hopes and dreams.  She was like a sister to me.

However, when I got engaged and the wedding loomed closer, I felt a shift in her attitude toward me.    I tried to ignore my instinct.    A week before my wedding I checked my answering machine one evening and heard a very strange message.   My friend had accidentally recorded herself on my answering machine, speaking on her mobile phone about me to a friend.    Her words were venomous, cruel and dishonest.   I kept thinking she must be talking about somebody else, but then she mentioned my partner’s name and I knew that it was me.    I cried every night that week, leading up to the happiest day of my life.

She smiled at me sweetly and said kind words to me on my wedding day, and I smiled back through clenched teeth, holding in my hurt and anger.   After our honeymoon I wrote her a letter telling her what I had heard.  Even then, I would have accepted an apology or an explanation.   I hung onto hope.   Her reply finally came but was one line.   She was guilty as accused and she said goodbye.  That was it.

I am grateful for that bizarre twist of fate, or as I believe, divine intervention, which revealed her heart to me.   As sad as it was, it would have been much sadder to maintain such a dishonest friendship.

In the Gospels I read that Jesus had twelve best mates who he walked through life with.   He had gathered a rare assortment of shells from the beach, as each of his disciples had unique personalities and related to him in different ways.   Yet out of this group of true friends, Peter, who boldly professed his love for Jesus and said he would die for him, went on to deny even knowing him three times to a servant girl.    Then there was Judas who betrayed Jesus with a kiss leading to his death, for the price of some bags of silver.    Being hurt and disappointed by our friends certainly isn’t a new concept.

When I’m deeply hurt it takes a long time to recover, but I’m learning that the only way back to wholeness is to forgive, let it go and walk away.  I embrace the richness of my true friendships and cherish them as one of life’s greatest gifts.    I also continue to search the seashore for any shells hidden in the sand.   You can never tell how colourful and unique they are until you take the risk and reach out your hand.

Ada salah satu kenangan dalam hidupku yang gak akan pernah aku lupakan, yaitu saat dapet kejutan dari salah satu sahabatku.  Waktu ulang tahun biasanya temen-temenku ngasih aku kado.  Tapi ada satu kado unik yang baru pertama kali aku terima seumur hidupku (haduh lebay ya >.<).  Biasnya kalau aku dikasih dikasih kado tingal buka kadonya baru deh ketauan isinya, tapi kado ini bener-bener unik banget bahkan menurutku terunik.  Kebetulan sahabatku memberikannya pas aku lagi kuliah (pas jamannya aku masih kuliah), nah berhubung teman-teman segengku waktu itu udah pada pulang dan hanya tinggal aku yang masih sibuk dengan bimbingan KKPku serta masih menunggu antrian untuk bimbingan dengan dosenku, maka sambil menunggu giliran, maka kubukalah kado pemberian sahabatku tersebut.  Sahabatku itu bener-bener niat banget ngasih kadonya karena setelah lembaran bungkus kado pertama masih ada berlembar-lembar lapisan yang harus aku buka untuk tahu isi kadonya L susah payah aku membukanya dan dengan rasa penasaran yang amat sangat.  Hmmmm finally…. setelah tumpukan sampah menggunung (xixixixixi) aku bisa liat isinya, dan seketika pula aku menangis terharu begitu melihat kadonya, yaitu dua buah buku, yang bikin aku nangis ketika untuk pertama kalinya aku membaca judul buku tersebut, dan gak berhenti hanya disitu tangisanku, begitu aku membaca tulisan yang ditulis sahabatku tersebut air mataku mengalir tanpa terasa, asli aku termat sangat terharu T,T  Hiks…

Dia tahu banget kalau aku suka baca buku, dan yang bikin aku menangis bahagia karena buku yang diberikannya bagiku teramat berharga dilihat dari judulnya aja duh pokonya aku speechless deh!!!!.  Subhanallah….itu kado yang buat aku surprised luar biasa, sampai saat ini aku masih menyimpan tulisannya, dan akan selalu kusimpan, dan setiap kali aku membaca tulisaanya aku selalu merasa terharu.  Dan satu hal yang pasti kedua buku tersebut kini menjdi bagian dari kolekdi buku-buku yang aku punya dan selalu kusimpan dengan rapi, karena bagiku buku itu benda yang sangat berharga bagiku J Terimakasih kuucapkan untuk sahabatku tersayang Rini Comalasari atas pemberianmu untukku ^_^

with love…

Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis. Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life.

From the definition of friendship, we can see how important a friend in our live. Friend can be classified into two kinds of true friends and common friends. For me friend is someone who interacts with us, company us and help us. But True friend is like a single soul, dwelling in two bodies. They can complement each other, receive, complete, and fit in many ways, never leaves me alone in happy or sad, always guide me in a right way and support me when I’m down. Maybe in whole of your life you will be easy to get friend than true friend.

Quality of true friends can see from the character. Because character is very sensitive in friendship, many friendships was failed because have of the lack skewer between the two characteristic. You cannot just look from the performance but you must look from the inside, because it is a decisive person he became a case of what.

Family and environment also can be our consideration to get a true friend. Why? Because family and environment is one of the most powerful factor in influencing the character. If they stay in a good family and environment certainly they can be a good person with a good character also. But if they have bad family and environment it is can make them to become a tough and has a bad character. So, before you choose your friend make sure they have the quality of a good friend.

Val Kilmer is in Russia filming a new movie tenativily entitled Georgia.  We have the deatails. Check it out at Val Kilmer The Real Deal.com, the website. While you are there, check out a new video featuring Val Kilmer and Mick Rossi titled True Friend.

I notice a lot of my guys friends have made new girl friends. Three have practically quit being my friends and spend most of their time with these new friends, but I want the best for them. They made the choice on their own. And I’m very happy for my guy friends! A handful of my guy friends have gotten girlfriends in the last year and that is exciting, too.

I don’t have any close guy friends anymore, and by close I do not mean we know everything about each other, but that we hang out at least once a week. Tonight I was just thinking after seeing three such friends (haha others who may not know Christ would call them “betrayal” friends) that I am happy for them. God is in control of my relationships and I just want friendship! If some friendships take a turn, I will trust Him.

Honestly, I had to write this entry to document a realization of contentment as I was seeing these instances:

I would rather get the attention of my Father than any other friend, person, or guy. I would rather captivate the Lover of my soul -the only Perfect Love I could ever receive- than any lesser.

I want Jesus, forget anything else! I want to be attractive to the presence of my Savior. I want to draw Him closer. I want to spend my time with Him. I want to recieve more of His love. I want my friendship with Him to flourish and grow more than any other. He’s the best guy to get to know and be loved by. No other guy knows the secrets of your heart like God. He’s my guy! I’m close to Him. These girls can have those guys and vice versa. I have Jesus! 
Why want more? I have it all. 

(Insert BIG smile!)

We all know that the definition of a friend is a person who somebody likes, knows and trusts. Individuals on the Autistic Spectrum usually don’t understand the crucial differences between friends and acquaintances. Simply put, a definition of the word “acquaintance” is a person known to one, but usually not a close friend. An acquaintance may be somebody you see at work or school on occasions, but really don’t know anything about. For example, every day at around four in the afternoon, I see a woman walking down my street with her dog, which is a chocolate lab. The only thing I know about this woman is that she has a chocolate lab who she walks down the street everyday. If I ever did get a chance to talk to her, it would probably only be about her dog. I don’t think it would be appropriate to talk about anything else with her. In high school, you will have the annoying people who are considered “popular”. They usually hang out with people of similar interests, they consider the twenty or thirty people they hang out with “best friends” when they are either acquaintances or “casual friends”. This entry talks about the differences between an acquaintance and a friend

A casual friend is somebody you may hang around or talk to at events like social gatherings, work or school. If you do hang out with them, you usually don’t share personal information with them. I’ve had trouble with this in the past, I have considered people “real friends” when they really weren’t. I’ve tried “icebreakers” and asked them if they wanted to get together with me when they rejected me. Their response was the typical “no, sorry I’m too busy”. It was obvious that they really were not my friend because they wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. I would rather hear somebody tell me they want nothing to do with me then avoid me. When people avoid me it makes me feel that I am a bad person, or that I did something that offended them. I could tell that this person was avoiding me because they didn’t stop and give me a good explanation of why he was busy. Telling me “I’m busy because I have other stuff to do” tells me you really are not busy, you are just trying to get out of being around me. If somebody honestly tells me they want nothing to do with me, I will just move on and find another person to hang out with. I have been avoided by people my entire life, and it really hurts. Like I said, it makes me feel like I am a bad person and that I don’t deserve to have friends.

Sometimes acquaintances do become friends. After they have spent enough time with each other, feel comfortable around each other and trust each other is when a friendship starts to develop. Before you start to consider an acquaintance a friend, there are three things you should ask yourself.

1.) Do they try to keep in contact with you?

A true friend always keeps in contact with you no matter how far apart you are from them. When a friend moves to a different school or goes off to college, they get very busy and don’t have the time to spend with you. I have learned from past experiences with friends that a little contact goes a long way. Writing a letter takes up a lot more time than emailing or instant messaging a person. However, writing a letter really does show a person how much you really care about them. We teenagers from the 21st century should consider ourselves lucky, we have social networking sites such as Myspace, Facebook and Twitter and don’t forget cell phones! Call them as often as you can, even a five minute “how are you doing” call will mean a lot to the person. But, remember that a friend should also make an effort to keep in contact with you every once and a while. When you reach out to a person, you should expect them to reach out to you every now and then.

2.) Do they show interest in being around you?

This is one of the more difficult things to deal with in friendships. The fact is that you can’t be friends with everybody, and you probably will deal with that one person that just doesn’t show interest in being friends with you. Two signs that show a person is not interested in being friends with you is they will make excuses for why they can’t spend time with you, and they will avoid contact with you. One thing to remember about friendships is that you can’t force a person to be friends with you. When they start to make excuses and avoid you is usually a sign that you should move on and find somebody else to be friends with. If somebody doesn’t want to be your friend, it is their problem, not yours. A true friend is somebody who WANTS to spend time with you and who MAKES time to do it. I can understand when they are busy, but when you are in need, a you should expect a friend to help you. If they can’t be there physically, they should make an effort to call you and talk to you about the problem, whatever it may be. A friend must show interest in being around you, and they must show interest in getting to know you and helping you when you are in need.

3.) Are they accepting of you?

One of the characteristics in people that really turn me off is judgmentalism. You read that in my blog titled “what turns me off”. Have you ever been around a friend that gives a stereotype to every single person they see? I can’t stand people who act like that, being a student in high school, I have been around people like that many times. They can’t find anything else to do besides judging and making fun of other people. As I said in my “what turns me off” blog, I am not trying to sound hypocritical, I have caught myself doing this many times before. I’m sure every person has judged someone they don’t even know at least once in their life. As friends grow closer, they will learn what they tolerate and what sets them off. I have said this many times before, a friend is somebody who loves and accepts you for who you are, and won’t ever try to change anything about you. Those kind of friendships only happen once or twice in a lifetime.

I have learned that there are some real great people out there, and not everybody in the whole world is going to try to bring me down and make fun of me. You never know what will happen when you meet a new person, maybe they could end up being your best friend for life. When I first met Aaron, I never thought we would become such good friends. I am really glad that I had the opportunity to have people like him in my life. If it were not for Computing Workshop, I would have never met him. I have one more piece of advice about friendships, when you meet a new friend, just be cool and find out what happens. Don’t be pushy, because that will just draw the friend away from you. If the friendship doesn’t workout, just move on and find someone else. It is a larger world than you think, there are tons of people out there to be friends with. Close friendships are rare, and they take time to develop. Hopefully after reading this, you should have a general idea of who your real friends are and who they aren’t.

Andra = fosta cea mai buna prietena;

Magda = o fata cu care eram in potriva.

Aproape toti care imi erau prietenii s-au intors in potriva mea…si anume: spun povesti neadevarate despre mine, ma spioneaza si isi bat joc de mine…toate astea au inceput dintr-o data…si anume nu le place ca sunt rockerita…dar nu stiu ce i-a apucat, pentru ca si inainte eram si la un momentdat unii dintre ei vroiau sa devina rockeri…doar ca inainte nu ma imbracam ca o rockerita, dar eram. Si fosta cea mai buna prietena amea, Andra, zicea ca vroia si ea sa fie rockarita. Dar precis zice ca nu e adevarat, dar eu imi dacu bine aminte. Ideea e ca numai e deloc ca inainte. Era asa draguta si intelegatoare, era asa de matura si era acolo pentru mine, eu eram acolo langa ea…dar cand incepe sa stea cu o fata pe care eu nu o pot intelege,

Magda, devine ca o fetita de 7-8 ani si nu ne mai intelegem deloc. Si cateodata se cam prosteste, dar mie chiar imi place, doar sunte copii, dar e ca o fata de aproape 11 ani.

Si aveam multe in comun si totusi ea alege sa stea cu asa zisa Magda. Si daca eram cele mai bune prietene ar fi accpetat sa stam cu gasca. Prima oara cand i-am cunoscut pe tipi, Andra, zicea ca sunt cei mai buni prieteni. Si a  doua zi a venit si Magda si Andra se loveste. Si bineinteles ca Magda nu stiu ce ii face dar Andra nu ma mai lasa sa o ajut, e incapatanata si nu ma intelege nici cum, nu ma mai intelege. Si mie asa de dor de vechea Andra, cea cu care ma intelegeam atat de bine, cea care ma ajuta cand am intrat in bucluc, cea care vroia sa fie ca mine, cea care imi era cea mai buna prietena. Dar pot sa visez pana cand mor, dar ea nu o sa ma mai inteleaga.

As vrea ca si ea sa citeasca acest articol, dar chiar daca l-ar citi, nu ma va mai inteleage niciodata. Dar ideea e ca eu nu ma pot schimba, familia mea esre asa cum sunt si eu, si e un stil normal de ati traii viata. Oricat as incerca nu ma pot schimba. Dar nu cred ca ma va  intelege. Eu inca tin la ea, chiar daca nu pare. Dar inainte ii placea de mine asa cum sunt, cum sunt si acum. Sau poate doar profita de mine, tot timpul? Ei bine cand nu se juca cu mine eu plangeam toata noapte si compuneam cantece de durere si poezii de iertare pentru ea. Si stiu ca si ea plangea. Dar ei nu ii pasa de mine. Si eu acum de curand am aflat ca si ea plangea. Eu credeam ca petrecea cu Magda.

Eu vreau sa fim prietene din nou, poate ca nu chiar cele mai bune prietene, dar…

Mie tare dor de ea. Eu as vreau sa mai stau cu ea dar atata timp cat e cu fata aceea Magda nu cred mai aveam ce vb. Acea fata ii face rau si as vrea ca Andra sa poata intelege, defapt precis ma contrazice, dar asta e…

Xandria – Ravenheart

Uitati o fotografie cu noi doua!!

Cassie M

I wanted to expand on one of my earlier entries titled “Four Important Qualities of A Best Friend”. The qualities I mentioned were honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and sacrifice. Nobody wants to be around someone who is dishonest, unkind, unreliable and lazy. The qualities I mentioned on that blog are just as important as the three I am going to mention on this entry for one main reason, and it is because they all tie in together.These qualities are just as important as the ones I mentioned on my other blog about this topic, and they are in no particular order. I don’t really have that many friends in school, so high school life has been pretty difficult for me. In another one of my other entries I talked about my social anxiety, and how that contributes to why making and keeping friendships is very difficult for me. If I expected these qualities from all of my friends, I would not really have that many. These qualities, and the ones that I mentioned in “part one” are really only expected for close friends.

1.) Humility:

Have you been around a person who always talks about themselves in a conversation? Somebody left a comment on one of my others entries about how they had a friend who had a child that was behind academically. He had a friend that would always complain about how behind their child was, when they would rub it into their face that their child was ahead of his. A definition of humility is the quality of being humble, meaning a person who is not proud or arrogant because they are better than another person, whatever the reason may be. I once had a friend who would rub into my face that his parents would let him get away with things that my parents wouldn’t. He would always tell me that he would get away with looking at bad websites on the internet and watching inappropriate TV shows. I went to his house one day and he offered to watch a movie that was R rated, and I was only in about second or third grade at the time. I told him that I was not allowed to watch an R rated movie without an adult watching it with me. If my parents found out that I was watching that movie, I would have been in trouble. I couldn’t tell you what the name of the movie was, but I do remember it was rated R. I then decided not to hang around this person because he tried to convince me into doing something I wasn’t allowed to do and he would try to rub into my face that he was better than I am because of how different the rules of his house are from mine. He moved shortly after this whole situation, and I decided to lose contact with him. I will repeat myself again, a true friend doesn’t convince you into doing something wrong, or rub into their face about why they think they are better than you. I also can’t stand people that try to rub their religious or political beliefs into my face. Politics and religion are very touchy subjects for many people, and some can be easily offended by the way you say it. People need to learn the phrase “enough is enough”. Parents do not teach that to their kids enough. Kids on the Autistic Spectrum especially don’t understand this because of their lack of social skills.

2.) Uniqueness:

I can’t stand people who don’t want to be friends with me just because I don’t act like a “normal teenager”. The social shunning that I have gotten in high school is the main reason for why people judge me and don’t want to be around me. I have said this before and I will say it again, I don’t ever want to hear from somebody “you should do this because everybody else is doing it”. They judge me because of the fact that I don’t play any sports or that I am not interested in dating. Teenagers often hang out with groups of people with similar interests. These groups are called “cliques”. If you don’t have the same hobby interest as they do, then to them you either don’t exist or are worth absolutely nothing. I think it is good to talk to people who have slightly different personality traits and hobby interests than everybody else in the crowd. It helps to ask them for advice because they can give you a different perspective about the problem. To me, if you constantly avoid somebody because they don’t have the same hobby interests as you might make people think that you are stuck up. It’s good to be different from other people, the people who are different are usually the ones who end up being very successful in life.

3.) Acceptance:

As you already know, I can’t stand “friends” who are judgmental. For example, just because somebody is not like you doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Another thing I can’t stand is when a “friend” doesn’t listen to you when you tell them that whatever they are doing is bothering you. For example, let’s say they are a person who loves to joke around all the time. You laughed along with them until they told a joke that went way too far. You tell them to stop, and they just say “Come on, it was just a joke”. The jokes still continue, until you finally tell them to knock it off. I can say one thing about a situation like this, they are definitely not your friend if they keep doing something you don’t like. A true friend should know when things likes jokes go too far. They should know what gets you pissed off, and they should never do it. Plain and simple. A true friend also does not try to change you, they will love and accept you for the person that you are. They won’t ever push you into doing something you don’t want to do, and they won’t ever try to make you uncomfortable in front of your other friends or their friends. I’ve had “friends” in the past that have done that also, they are obviously not my real friends if they are going to do something like that.

4.) Forgiveness:

Have you ever had a friend that has held a grudge against you for something that was not a big deal, or something you didn’t say or  do at all? A true best friend will forgive you for the mistakes you have made, even the big ones. I can relate to that very well. I once had a friend who I have talked to online and in school for a few months. School eventually let out, and he became busy with his summer job. One night I was text messaging one of my other friends, and I sent it to him by a mistake. It was about thirty minutes past midnight, and it woke him up. The next morning he called me and started throwing a fit at me about it. I explained to him that I didn’t mean to do it, and he just said “whatever”, hung up on me and refused to talk to me. About a week after that, I tried talking to him again and he just told me to “fuck off”. I guess our “friendship” was over after that whole incident. He held a grudge against me for something that was a “little deal” and made a “big deal” about it. That shows just how immature my peers really are. Life is about making mistakes, and people are supposed to learn from them. I guess the only thing I learned from that “friendship” was make sure you send your text messages to the correct person on your contact list. There are obviously better people to be friends with than this kid. A true friend also sticks with you through the good and the bad times. I’ve gone to a few of my friends for a few of my problems, and they then try to avoid me. What kind of a true friend is that? Yes, there maybe is the chance that they haven’t been through a situation like that, but it still makes no sense to avoid the person. I have been ignored by people before, and it is not a good feeling. In school it seems like the only people that ever try to talk to me are the ones who want to make fun of me and bring me down.

I am happy about the fact that I don’t have tons of friends, to keep me happy I only need one or two friends. Quality is better than quantity. Even though I don’t get to see my good friend Aaron that much, I am happy he is going to school to learn skills for what he wants to do. I am really hopeful that he will have a job he will enjoy going to in the future, and that he will remember that his friendship made an impact on my life. When breaks come around, hopefully we will have some time to spend with each other. We don’t have all of the same hobby interests, and I don’t agree with everything he says, but he is still my friend.

Like I said at the beginning, if I expected all of these qualities from every single one of my friends, I probably wouldn’t have them. These qualities are really only important for close friends. You definitely should not consider being good friends with me if you don’t posses these qualities. Friends are what make living your daily life easier. Thank you for reading this and I will be back to write again next weekend!

Please check out my blogs similar to this one:

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/09/11/four-important-qualities-of-a-best-friend/

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/not-everybody-who-is-nice-to-me-is-my-friend/

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/mistakes-and-behavior/

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/have-you-ever-been-dumped-by-a-friend/

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/08/07/how-can-an-aspergers-teen-know-who-their-real-friends-are/

Friendship… is a popular word with a huge meaning.  As defined by Cross Map Dictionary, friendship means:  an attachment to a person, and true  friendship is a noble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, a respect for worth or amiable qualities, the Bible tells us that “a friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).  There are people, who say that friendship is not necessarily, but we all need at least one true friend because we need love; but are we using the word “friendship” correctly?

Human beings usually reject friends that let them know when they are acting the wrong way because truth use to bother people, but the Bible says, “wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6).  Then, who is the true friend:  the one who let you know when you are doing something wrong or the one that laughs with you when you are doing something wrong?

There are many persons we get to know in our life but few of them becomes our friends.  Don’t change to seek men’s approval, instead seek how to please God at all time.  If He accepts how you are and you are happy with whom you are, why seek approval from others?  Anyways, it’s always an option to become someone’s friend.

If you have the honor to have at least one true friend… keep it! And if you are looking for them, seek those with a pure heart, but don’t forget that the true friend we should have is Jesus Christ.

What do you prefer:  a thousand known persons or one true friend?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amistad…es una palabra tan pequeña y popular de significado muy grande. Según la Real Academia de la Lengua Española, amistad significa: afecto personal, puro y desinteresado, compartido con otra persona, que nace y se fortalece con el trato, y según la Biblia un verdadero amigo es como un hermano en tiempo de angustia (Proverbios 17:17). Hay personas que dicen que la amistad no es necesaria pero en realidad todos necesitamos tener al menos un verdadero amigo porque necesitamos amor, ¿pero en realidad estamos utilizando la palabra “amistad” correctamente?

Los seres humanos usualmente rechazamos a quien nos deja saber cuando estamos haciendo las cosas mal porque la verdad suele  incomodar, pero la Biblia dice que “fieles son las heridas del amigo,
pero engañosos los besos del enemigo” (Proverbios 27:6).  Entonces, quién es el verdadero amigo:  ¿el que te deja saber que estás haciendo algo mal o el que se ríe contigo del mal que estás haciendo?

Muchos son los conocidos en nuestra vida pero muy pocos los amigos. No cambiemos por conseguir aprobación del hombre, en cambio busquemos agradar a Dios en todo momento.  Además, si Dios nos acepta como somos y nosotros estamos contentos de quienes somos, ¿por qué buscar aprobación de otros?  Al fin y al cabo, siempre es una desición ser amigo de alguien o no.

Si tienes la dicha de tener verdaderos amigos, ¡consérvalos! Y si estás en busca de ellos escoge los de corazón puro, pero no olvidemos que el verdadero amigo que debemos tener es Jesucristo.

¿Qué prefieres: mil conocidos o un verdadero amigo?

]]> http://iwu2012breanna.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/id-lose-my-92-friends-to-get-my-brother-back/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:59:15 +0000 iwu2012breanna http://iwu2012breanna.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/id-lose-my-92-friends-to-get-my-brother-back/

Facebook shows I have 928 friends (all of which I know and been around in person). The closeness of these friends varies hugely. I don’t feel popular or loved or awesome because of a number of people who know me. How many of them are true friends anyway? How many of them have spent time with me lately or show they truly care? How many of them would I consider my real friends?

I would lose 900 lesser friends for one true friend. Right now I wish I would have one of my friends, who’s a brother to me, back. Wishful thinking is never good, huh? I already have a Best Friend- Jesus. But I want some people to hang with and have fun and talk about life with. That’s not a selfish, bad desire at all. God wants us to have fun! God wants us to have companionship. I’ve committed all my relationships to Him and I know He provides people in my life. But I also believe He likes for us to be pro-active and intentional in our relationships. We step out and reach out, even if we are doing it in faith and not certainty. We don’t sit around waiting for the perfect friend to pop their head in and ask to be buddies. As Q. Schultze puts it, “Faith is patient, not lazy.”

This semester I was counting on a few select friends to definitely be there for me. A few brothers and sisters in Christ. And now I feel a bit lost when I’m on my own and it’s up to me to decide. In the more recent past, “who to hang with” was not even a question in my mind: I knew who I could hang out with whenever to occasion arose. I was looking forward to that. Now I don’t know. I haven’t gotten a clear answer or directions yet, but I’m continually asking God what I should do.

And I don’t want to find any new people to fill the ones that have receded. I want my friend back. I want things to be the way they’re supposed to be.

But God knows better than I do. He knows the way things are meant to be. I have to surrender and trust Him on this.

I don’t know what to do, but maybe I’m not supposed to do anything. I’m worried and I want to reconcile, I want total peace and not to worry about my brother in Christ. I wish I could just know, and then it’d all be fine. Everything back to normal. But I am going to do the hardest thing I could attempt to in this situation.

I’m going to let go and let God.

He is going to do the work. This morning, around 2 am, I was thinking about how His hands can craft the most amazing creation. So whether He tears this [friendship] down for good, tears it down to reconstruct it, or renews the remains, I will say “yes” and “amen” (so be it).

As while I wait for Him to reveal His masterpiece of mysterious work, I will run to the arms of my Father and seek His heart. He knows what’s on my heart. I can tell Him. I will wait and I will pray. And then there will be a day- a day designed by Him- that will reveal the purpose of this trial. And I will thank Him, praise Him, and be awestruck at the wonder of His work.

I want God to use this for His glory. I want to see God touch my brother’s life with or without me still there. I won’t try and do anything, because I don’t know what’s best. The treasure of my brother worth more than 900 lesser friends is laid at the feet of the One who is more than enough. I will give out of my poverty to see the richness of Him revealed.

He’s my Savior. What does He do best? Save. So I have nothing to worry about. I am secure, I am safe in the refuge of His strong arms. I’m holding on to Him, I’m letting go of all else.

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: by no means do I count myself an expert in all this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward -to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” Philippians 3:12-14 [The Message Version]

The teenage years are supposed to be the “best years of your life”, right? If you recall from my first entry about my experiences in high school, the high school years have been the most miserable time for me. I spent most of my junior high and high school years being ignored, teased and labeled. People really don’t understand how it feels to be ignored and labeled so much. Because of all the labeling and teasing people have given me throughout the years, it has made it very difficult to find that one true friend that wouldn’t ever bring me down and accept me for the kind of person that I am. In elementary school, people really didn’t seem to notice that I was “different” than everybody else. My parents would make arrangements with my friends parents to get together. When the middle school years came along, people started to avoid me and notice that I was different than everybody else. All of the people that I was friends with in elementary school seemed to “forget” about me. Social cliques started to develop, and I was the person that didn’t really fit in with anybody.

If you remember from my blog about ending friendships, I was friends with a kid named Jason in elementary school. During the weekends, we would always go to each others houses, sit and talk to each other during recess and lunchtime and talk on the phone when we had nothing else to do. Junior high then came along, and the social cliques started to develop. The students seemed to start noticing that I was different than everybody else was, which contributed to why they started talking to me rudely and making fun of me behind my back. The first thing I noticed right off the bat when I would talk to him was that he started hanging out with the people that would always label me and spread rumors about me. There were times that I notice when his new friends were around me, they would start making fun of me and spreading rumors about me when I was in the same room as he was. He never really stood up for me when they did it either, he just sat there and ignored the whole thing. The second thing that I noticed happening was when I would try to have a converstaion with him, he would try to keep it as short as he possibly could. When I would ask him questions, he would answer me with only one or two word responses. At first I thought that maybe he was just in a bad mood and didn’t really feel like talking to me, then I started to realize that maybe he wasn’t that interested in being friends with me. I spent the rest of my junior high school years asking the same question “Why would he ignore me and hang out with the students that made fun of me and labeled me?”

As I have mentioned before, people sometimes just don’t show that interest in being friends with you anymore, even when you have been friends with them for a long time. People change, and sometimes it’s for the worse. Since I am no longer at Freeport, I don’t see this person as often as I used to. When I do see this person, I think about how we used to be friends in elementary school and how we would always talk on the phone when we had nothing better to do. I’m glad I don’t have to see this person anymore, because anytime I do the memories of how he dumped me come back and haunt me.

Because of I’ve been set up by friends in the past, I find it very difficult to trust people. When I meet a new person, I tend to worry and think that they might have something against me and try to avoid me, or they might try to make fun of me and make me feel bad about myself. I am happy that I have friends like Aaron from my Computing Workshop summer camp, but I do wish that we had more time to spend with each other. Because of the labeling, teasing and loneliness that I have experienced in high school, I am very exited about graduating. On my I Google page, I have a countdown until the possible date for my high school graduation in 2011. One thing that I have learned from past friendships is that if they don’t want to be my friend, that it is their problem, not mine. That’s the attitude that I will always have with someone that wants nothing to do with me.It may take time to get over a lost friendship, but I will get over it eventually. I wish that people would have that same attitude as me, because it makes no sense to mope about a friendship that ended a long time ago. I will most likely never see these people again after I graduate from high school, so why the hell should I even bother worrying about them? Even though Aaron is busy, I am certain that he is still my good friend. One or two close friends is all I really need, someone left a comment on one of my other blogs that stated “quality is better than quantity”.

I really can’t come up with anything else to say about this, I hope you liked it and I should be back to write again next week!

Feet of clay. We all have feet of clay, that is why the wounds of a friend are faithful. A true friend will comfort; but, will also confront. We all have feet of clay. A true friend will alert and help bandage. A true friend will hear and accept the help. Sometimes we need to wrap and sometimes we need our feet wrapped, if you understand.

Check Check.

Well, berteman itu seperti berpacaran, sama-sama harus saling menerima kekurangan dan saling pengertian. Tapi beda point of view aja…

Aku ga akan bisa bilang letak point of view nya dimana, tapi aku rasa as a human being, kamu bisa merasakan letak perbedaannya ada dimana…

Sometimes, kalo kamu sayang sama orang, kamu akan membiarkan dia merasa nyaman dengan apa yang dia inginkan tanpa ekspektasi lebih. Begitu juga dengan berteman. Keluarkanlah keikhlasan kamu membiarkan dia larut dalam aktivitas dan keinginannya asalkan dia merasa nyaman. Naif memang. Hilangkan keposesifan. Aku mengerti akan take and give. Tapi semua terlewatkan lah kalo kita sudah merasa senang akan kebahagiaan mereka.

But for me, wherever you are guys, apapun yang sedang kalian pikirkan dan lakukan, ikatan di antara kita ga akan mungkin pernah putus. Dan aku rasa itu lah teman sebenar.

You probably have learned from experiences in my other blogs that my high school years have been a nightmare for me. I was isolated ever since I was in the junior high, I was teased verbally, but I was never physically bullied by anyone. I’m guessing that was because I was taller then everybody else in school, and they thought that I would try to do something to get revenge back at them. During my years at Freeport High School, I was verbally harassed and isolated so much that I didn’t really have that many friends in school. I didn’t really have the skills of making and keeping friends, and because I was bullied so much, I didn’t really have the confidence to reach out to people. When someone would say something to me in the hallway, regardless of whether they were being friendly or mean, I would just walk by and ignore them. I tended to generalize about people, and think that all of them were going to try to do something that would embarrass me, or cause me to be verbally harassed even more. That contributed to my depression and social anxiety quite a bit. I also had trouble understanding who my real friends were, and who my real friends weren’t. In the second paragraph, I will mention a guy named Eric, who I thought was my friend, but turned out not to be.   In the third paragraph, I am going to mention Aaron, who I talked about in my last blog entry.

Eric and I were in the same homeroom together ever since we started junior high. He was in my homeroom since we were in the junior high, and we also went to the same gym together. In eighth grade, he would repeatedly talk about me in front of his friends, he would call me names like f***in retard, and just say tons of other horrible things about me. During freshman year, I had a my space account and he added me as a friend, I accepted, because at the time I assumed that he matured some and grew out of the whole gossip thing. I would chat with him on aim, and he seemed like he was being friendly to me, and not making fun of me. A few months passed by, and I sent him a message asking if he wanted to hang out that weekend. He replied saying something like “I’ll see, maybe.” I sent him a message a few days reminding him about it, and he said “No I can’t, I’m too busy.” A few weeks passed, then I asked him if he wanted to hang out again, then he answered with a flat “no.” After that, I would try to instant message him, and he would either ignore me, or tell me he didn’t want to talk. A month passed, and it was the start of summer going into my sophomore year in high school. I sent him a text message the next morning asking him how we was doing, then he snapped at me and said “you woke me up at twelve forty five last night”. I asked him what he was talking about, then he said that I text messaged him in the middle of the night and it woke him up. I looked in my sent messages, and it said that it was to him. I realized that I meant to send it to somebody else, but I accidentally sent it to him. I told him that I sent it to the wrong contact, and he just said “whatever”, then ignored me. I got angry about it, and started sending nasty messages to him. That obviously wouldn’t make him interested in being my friend, which he wasn’t interested in it when I first started talking to him. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be my friend in the first place, and I shouldn’t have escalated the situation by sending rude comments to him on his phone and his Myspace.

Aaron and I, however went to my summer computer camp program, Computing Workshop. As I mentioned in my last blog, he was a real laid back, and shy type of a guy. I worked with him periodically during the first two summers I was in the workshop, but I never really got to know him. During our summer 2008 program, I got to hang out with him and have some social time with him during the camp. I sat next to him on the couch, and I noticed him pull out his phone. He showed some of the pictures and the ringtones he had on it, then I asked him if I could have his number. He gave it to me, then I gave him my number. I remember after he gave me his cell phone number, he very nicely said “you can call me anytime you want to talk to me.” Going back to Eric, I asked him if I could have his cell phone number, and he made an excuse that said something like “I can’t give you my phone number because I get prank called a lot.” I thought he was joking around at the time, than I later realized that he was trying to avoid me. When I asked him if he wanted to hang out, he would give me answers like “too busy, sorry” or even just a flat “no”. Aaron, on the other hand promised me that we would be able to hang out, and he would explain to me why he didn’t have time to do it. He would not give me general answers like Eric did. This past summer, we did get a chance to hang out. We would go out and buy ice cream, and he also invited me to his house. That was something that nobody has done in a long time, and I am very happy for that.

I have a better understanding now of who is my friend and who is not my friend.  I am better off without people like Eric anyway, so why should I even worry about him? Since I’m not going to Freeport this year, I won’t have to see him in the first place. Like I have said in almost all of my other blogs, I won’t let mean people get to me and bring me down. I won’t let them interfere with what I go to the Lenape VO Tech school for, which is getting training for a job I will enjoy in the future. Also, Eric wasn’t interested in being my friend, so he obviously didn’t appreciate me for the person I really am. What kind of a friend wouldn’t appreciate you for who you are? A quote from Arnold H. Glasgow states that “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” A true friend goes out of their way to help you, and does not use other commitments as an excuse to not help you. Aaron is not able to spend time with me all three hundred sixty five days of the year, because he lives about thirty minutes from me. When he tells me that he’s not able to spend time with me, he does a good job explaining why he is busy. After that, I would suggest that you ask them what other day they are going to be available. But remember, if you are in dire need of help with something, be sure to explain that to them. Also, if they say something like “too busy, sorry”, they are obviously not a true friend. A true friend never makes excuses like that.

One more tip to remember, everybody is different. Not every person in the world is going to be your true friend. You might show interests in being their friend, but they won’t show it back to you. If they don’t show interest in being your friend, don’t take it personally, it’s their loss. Best friends are rare, you will only find them once or twice in life. And again, make sure that this person accepts you for who you are. I hope you find this blog informative, and I hope that you will show it to someone who may have trouble making friends in the future.

A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.

A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A good friend will be there for you all through school.
A true friend will be there till the day you die.

A good friend will bail you out of prison.
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying
“damn that was fun!”.

A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A good friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.

A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend calls you after you had a fight.

A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A good friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A good friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you.

A good friend is someone you enjoy hanging out with.
A true friend is someone you need.

> Rei, I don’t know if you consider me a good friend or a true friend, I just wanted to tell you that I consider myself to be your true friend, that’s why I scold you and sometimes seem to be too hard on you and all. I just want you the best for you, no matter how cliche that sounds. Actually, I laughed a bit about the prison part, becuase I can imagine us in prison because of a stupid thing that one or both of us came up with…and we’re not at the opposite sides of the bars, but we’re both inside the bars, looking out in chagrin at our parents who are glaring at us from the other side..haha!

I will support you each and every step of the way. I was hurt for you and afraid of what the future may hold for both you and the baby, but I will continue to be here for you. I may scold you at times and give you a (well-deserved) knock on the head, but I will still be here. Okay?

Proverbs 17:17

‘A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.’

I love someone who didn’t even reply about how he feel about me.Still I love him so I prayed to God. God give me this.Time pass, days, weeks, going to be a month but nothing happen so I said, ok! let me add something. Than, I started looking for shortcut like take advice from people not God, checking horoscope, even beleiving strangers, but it didn’t work instead it make things worse. Now, am not allowed to attend the Bible study due to my mistake ( i.e for disturbing him by sending mail). I am very bad but God still loves me. I have disobeyed Him,offense Him, by being impatience and rude; believe in things other than Him that created disturbance to all. But I still find Him calling me and when I ask Him for more, still He listens instead of being annoyed and scolding me. He still says, He loves me. I am a foolish girl who still thinks that nobody can understand.

Thank you God for opening my eye to see things you want me to see. Now, I understand that it is you who should be angry and ask questions not me, but you still listen to my entire grumble so calmly. Thank you God, really I thank you for being my true friend and letting me know that you still love me.