I tore up my LCC a while ago, mine weren’t intentionally it was more the preservation of others feelings. But even with the best of intentions comes pain and I realized that telling the truth is the best way. The person you speak the truth to will hurt, will be distraught but in the end they will mend healthily instead of being broken and unable to get through that moment. Sometimes I feel like a bad person, life isn’t easy but I think that life isn’t easy for a lot of people. We are given so many obstacles in life and it is how we handle them that makes us a better person.

I recently did something that hurt someone, but what would have hurt them worse is if when I was asked about it, I lied. But I didn’t I swallowed my pride and spoke the truth because I respected that person enough to do so. I could feel the pain through the phone and trust me it was the hardest thing in the world to hurt someone you care about. But at the end of the day, I had to let go, I had to accept my wrong and make the person feel better because after all, they were the one that was hurt.

They say the truth will set us free, honestly I believe that more than ever today. The feeling of weight has lifted from me. The burden of keeping people happy has disappeared. I am very sad to have hurt someone but I am relieved to have been honest and open and accept the responsibility because we all need to be doing that.

Now all I need to do is work on not doing the thing that hurt in the first place, but we all have to learn and learning takes time.

The Truth hurts, but deception kills…

The Truth hurts, but the Truth Heals…

No other Gospel: Galatians 1:6-10

Orlando’s Among Giants have just released an album, titled Truth Hurts, that has been in the making for around a year. You can hear the fruits of their labor through the album stream below and click here if you’d like to purchase it!

When my grandparents passed away there were many things that I would have liked to have had.  I (foolishly) believed that anything of real worth would be dealt with appropriately by deducting the cost of the item from our inheritance or distributed equally.

What a dumbass I was!

Although I did speak up about a few things, I was told they had already gone to someone else.  Little did I know that when I visited “someone else” that not only had they gotten the items I wanted, but a whole host of other things too.  One relative in particular has the bulk of the family photos.

I’m 37 now (shudder) and as I get older things come to my mind that I wish I had.  I have barely any photos of my grandparents, and even less of my father.  A couple of years ago I wrote to my relative asking that she send me just a few of these photos as I was trying to put on a display so that my kids could know their family better.  I received a polite refusal.  She reminded me that she had made several nice copies of photos for my brother, sister, and me just a couple years before that, couldn’t I trouble one of them for copies?

Well, let’s see… the photos of which you speak were photocopied in black and white on regular printer paper so, no.  That would not be convenient for me.  You may remember having them printed on photo paper, but you didn’t.  Or maybe you did but never sent them.  Regardless, it was at that point I chose to cut off my father’s family from my life.  I pray that they don’t know how hurtful they have been over the years.  I pray because I refuse to believe that people are that ignorant and cruel on purpose.

More recently I’ve been thinking of my Grandpa C and all the fishing we did with him.  I was able to get the fishing rod that I (and other of the grandkids) had used when we were kids; and was just thinking how great it would look on this empty wall in my living room with Grandpa’s fishing helmet and a few photographs.  My dad had the same helmet and I contacted my brother and sister in the hopes that one of them had it or knew where it was.  Sadly, I am left believing my greatest fears have come true and it was sold in the great garage sale that was held when mom moved out of our childhood home.

It was then that I thought, “Damn… I’m going to have to contact the relatives to see if I can pry it from one of their cold, dead hands.”  That thought got me thinking about all the other things I was denied and it just makes me ill.  I feel that my good nature and the way I was raised, along with my inexperience and young age was taken advantage of and now here I am with a growing obsession of family togetherness and no evidence that such family ever existed.

I hope that if there are things that you would like to have from your parents and grandparents that you have the courage to speak up firmly but gently and let them know if there is something of theirs you treasure.  It’s not crass or greedy if you do it with the right heart.

*Full Disclosure*

I should note that I did not receive nothing of my grandparents things.  I received a lovely desk and dresser that were leftovers no one else wanted and in disrepair.  I also received a small painting that I was told should “really be returned to X” because it was their relative that painted it for my grandparents, and a ceramic Christmas tree with removable bulbs that lit up from the inside that I had to get special permission to take since “Y” is still living and originally made it for them.  And Grandma’s tweed recliner.  Because when you have no furniture, you’re grateful for anything.

PREVIOUS: Waconzy Performs At Club DNA In Amsterdam (Video)

Last week I decided that since it’s a balmy 53′ most mornings now, that I should walk Honey to school with our dog.  (Shh… don’t tell my kids!  Then they’ll think they don’t have to walk her every day!)  So this morning I did just that!  I put on my athletic shoes (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! “Athletic”) grabbed a poop bag, and off we went!  After I turned around to go home, I wondered why the heck I was doing this.  It hurts!  But then I told myself after I do it for awhile it won’t.  Shoot, I may even start walking further and further one of these days.  You know, 24,000 miles from now because that’s how long it’ll take me to get used to this.

I think I discovered something about myself.  I’m really really bored.  Not for lack of things to do, Lord knows there are more things that need doing than I care to count; I’ve just always felt SO overwhelmed by it all.  But something’s changed.  Or is changing.  I’m tired of being bored so I decided to start trying things on, doing things I hate (like walking), and I figure eventually I’ll end up happier than I am today.  And busier.  And not bored.

I think I’ll give credit to my mom for this.  Seeing her so trapped in the misery she’s created for herself is a powerful motivator.  I guess my sister can have some credit too, because it’s she that gives me inspiration for what to do.  When I see all she does in a day, I can’t imagine ever being that busy; but maybe that’s because it’s what I’ve chosen.  I can do some of what she does.  I can be a better mom and wife.  I can be a better me.  I’d give credit to my brother, but he’s only good for nerd stuff.  ;^)  I guess the Olympic themed Coke cans in my fridge can have some credit too, but only because they’re Olympic.

Ok, what else…

California Mormons!  Attentionz!  Non-Utah Mormons in general!!  My sister just posted about the supremely awesome time they had at their ward campout last weekend.  We had lots of those growing up in Happy Valley.  Is this habit strictly regulated to the uber-Mo’s in Utah, or do we get these too?  Methinks I need to email the bishop.  Wouldn’t it be SO awesome if we convened at Donner Lake and did some canoeing and waterskiing?  I know!  Also, we could finally have a place to take kids snipe hunting!  Did you know this practice has been banned from Girl’s Camp under the banner of “hazing”???  Really?  For reals?  All kinds of wrong, people!  Snipe hunting is NOT hazing.  It’s a time honored tradition amongst Young Women campers everywhere that hurts and shames no one.

Ok, why is it more expensive to buy Cokes in the midget cans than in regular can size?  I’m finding that really all I want to/can actually drink is half a can and I’m getting ticked off at the wasteage.

Hey, remember my toxic earlobes from yesterday?  Today they accepted surgical steel and so far, there’s no molten metal flowing out the holes.  I’ll let you know what color steel turns tomorrow.  I figured it must be only my earlobes that are acidic since my wedding ring is still gold.

Alright, now I’m just grasping at straws so I can keep writing.  Time to face the music.  Today’s is Michael Jackson Monday, so beat it!

How can we free our mind? Are we ready to take off our masks? Just imagine your self upon that hill all these years… Are you a giant or a lover? Are you a friend or an enemy? Feel the truth even if it hurts! Feel the music that represents who you are! Truth Hearts is here to make you see clearly who you really are! Her voice follows you! Poping Cherry proudly presents you Truth Hurts! (Interview: John Vlachogiannis)

Who is Truth Hurts?

Truth Hurts is a brand, but an Artist 1st, a songwriter 2nd..A beautiful arrangement of several types of creativity…

Your voice speaks directly to our soul. Your music is a great influence. There are so many people that express their feelings through your music. How is that feeling for you?

It’s a great feeling to know your creative efforts reached someone which then makes it more than an occupation, it makes it musical ministry which is something deeper in that it’s verification for a songwriter/Artist, that their creativity isn’t in vein and very much needed to be heard by someone..

You are making the music you want, the music you love and you releasing it independently, on your own terms. Is this the best way to inspire people? What inspires you in life, in music? What inspires you to create the songs we need, we love, we want?

Well Artistry has to define the Artist so there is no other way but to create the kind of music that speaks about who you are and what’s important to you, therefore individualizing the Artist. I’m inspired by the music, always have been always will be, it’s only what a track or instrumental interpretation from a producer can do that will excite my pen into making magic for someone else to enjoy..Only the music inspires me..

What do you remember most strongly from your childhood? Did you know back then that your life would be full of music? Are you happy now that you are in music?

My life has always been full of music..My father was a concert promoter when I was a kid so music has always been a part of my life growing up, furthering my desire to do music when I was old enough to create it on my own..

Are you ready to Strip? People need your beautiful voice! Do you feel that power?

STRIP is that power..Of course I’m ready to STRIP …I think everyone is..In that I’m saying I think everyone is ready to take off masks and pretentious costumes that don’t represent who they truly are..Especially where music is concerned..;)

Do you have a message for Poping Cherry? Do you have something you want to share with us?

The only message I have is get ready to STRIP, once and for all!;)¨

http://www.officiallytruth.com/

https://twitter.com/#!/truthhurtsinc

Now I am ready to STRIP! Now I need truth! I need true music! Thank you Truth Hurts!

I do this. All. The. Time. I am dishonest about where my heart struggles. I lie to myself, and hilariously lie to God, when he knows. Oh, how he knows. I read a little bit in Jeremiah this morning, and when I read 1:5, I felt silly. Because, in my avoidance, I convinced myself that the relationship that I have been struggling with was fine. I convinced myself, that every time I told God that I wasn’t angry, or that I wasn’t hurt, I was telling the truth. I would spend time talking to my husband about it, and listen to myself get upset, and then push it away…how dumb. All because I was too scared to be honest.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..” 

About a month and a half ago, I took it upon myself to be “out there” more, to network with all sorts of people in the industry I work in and to just have some fun. Just as I had convinced myself about how I would approach my problem in a more proactive effort, I received an email in my work inbox about a local tech networking event. It was a startup mansion crawl and there would be all sorts of people working in tech startups there. After checking out each of the three mansions involved in this crawl, I was pretty convinced about going to the event (mostly, because one of the mansions had amazing interior architecture — I’m a sucker for modern design).

Really, the only important part of this story — for the purposes of this blog post — is that I spotted this one special guy at the last house. I noticed him partly because of how well he cleaned up and how he carried that sense of reserved confidence that wasn’t over-the-top egotistical whatsoever, but somehow calculated to have just the right amount. His hair was parted in a way that made me think of a younger, less old-fashioned Don Draper/David Beckham, he wore a gray Polo long-sleeve with the sleeves rolled up, weekend jeans and a pair of brown Sperry’s. He and his roommate were the first team up at beer pong and I’m not gonna lie: I stole a few glances over his way.

And yet, as much as I was crushing over him, deep down inside I always knew he wasn’t that into me.

But I chose to ignore that tiny voice screaming at me, and just went with whatever inebriated feelings I had with me at the time. We eventually got to talking in our little group of new friends and I could tell he was into this other girl from the get-go (and again, I chose to overlook it all. Emotional girls are stupidly blind – and, I chose to be one of those girls that night…). We all exchanged numbers and sort of kept in touch in the days following.

Two weeks later, I meet up with him for coffee. We caught up and I felt like I was always running out of things to say. This was basically screaming “Warning!” If you EVER feel like you can’t pick up and keep a conversation flowing, it’s a BAD sign of a failing relationship. I ended up meeting up with him much later that night at a bar and had my first kiss. I was on cloud 7 (not quite at 9).

Everything seemed to go uphill from there. But of course, we all know now that it was a mere illusion, and I was just an interim, rebound girl for his next big, more real relationship.

He was my first for everything. And even then, I always knew that something intangible was missing. There just wasn’t any spark. It was just kid’s play whenever we flirted, and nothing more. I felt like I was always talking at him and I could never get a peep out of him. It was as if I was reading him a storybook of my aspirations and passions, and all I got was an affirmation that it was okay to continue reading. But therein lies the problem: I don’t want to be reading my book. I want to engage in a conversation, a dialogue. I wanted something real and tangible about him — something that made him different from all the rest, something that made him identifiable…that made him him.

But knowing he had just come out of a long-term relationship just before he had met me, I still decided to give him a chance and I understood all the things he was probably missing and feeling — how insecure and alone he must have felt to be in an entirely new city, in a vulnerable stage in his life, and simple unsure of his most intimate desires. I certainly don’t blame him for feeling any of that, because I’d probably be going through something similar if I were in his shoes.

I’m not exactly sure if anyone’s ever been in a similar situation, but as much as I knew all this interim thing was happening, I somehow was able to convince myself to believe that it was all okay. I got caught up with my emotions and now I have to pay the repercussions of doing so. The truth hurts, but in some ways, I’m glad I figured it out sooner than later.

I gave him and this complicated thing the benefit of the doubt, only to find myself just crashing to the ground from cloud nine. And let me tell you, gravity hurts like no other.

I’m wide awake now.

The conservative press is especially adept at pushing this idea that both sides should get the same amount of positive or negative coverage, no matter the facts, or that neutrality somehow equals fairness (some say Obama’s a Christian, while others claim he’s the Anti-Christ. Discuss amongst yourselves), and the mainstream media has been falling for it for years. Media critics, stop asking if political coverage is “evenhanded” or “balanced,” and start deciding whether it is accurate and fair.

Over the past twenty years, the way people discover, buy and consume music has evolved beyond recognition. Maybe rather than evolution, the best word to describe these changes are revolution. No longer is a record shop people’s first place to look for new music. Instead, it’s the internet. Now downloading is perceived as the future of music. Then there’s mediums like Soundcloud, Mix Cloud and Bandcamp, where you can discover new music and share it with friends. These are like the music shops for the new millennia. Soon, a whole generation of music lovers will have grown up buying and sourcing music online. They’ll never have set foot on a record shop. This is a shame, as music has never been so inexpensive. Of course this problem is made so much worse by file-sharing and illegal downloads. Since the introduction of computers, which could copy CDs record companies have been fighting a losing battle against illegal downloads. Worse was to come, with universal access to the internet and the introduction of broadband. Suddenly things got a whole lot worse. As a result, record companies are less profitable, able to sign fewer new artists and constantly seeking new ways to release music. During the last few years, various ideas have been tried. Radiohead asked fans to pay what they thought an album was worth, albums were given away with newspapers. Record companies have tried innovative ideas to deliver music to consumers. Offering Recordings have come up with their own idea for Sage Monk’s album Heartache Allegory, giving the album away free. However, does giving music away free cheapen the music? That’s what I’ll tell you after I’ve told you about Sage Monk’s debut album Heartache Allegory.

Recently, Sage Monk was a guest artist on one of my favorite albums of 2012 so far, Boddhi Satva’s brilliant Invocation. He featured on the beautiful and heartfelt Stop Crying, which closed Invocation. Having been so impressed by his vocal on Stop Crying, I looked into Sage Monk’s career so far. All he’d released was an E.P. Baram Bakie in 2009, plus two singles in March 2012, Lambs of Summerian Shepherds and Mbesto Ti Abuntu. These three tracks were released on Offering Recordings, who would have a pleasant and welcome surprise in store for me this week.

This pleasant and welcome surprise was that Sage Monk had released his debut album on Offering Recordings, Heartache Allegory and it was produced by Boddhi Satva. Even better, Heartache Allegory was free. Having downloaded the Heartache Allegory, I discovered it featured a whole host of guest artists, including two artists who featured on Boddhi Satva’s Invocation. These are C.Robert Walker who features on Never, while Leslie Kisumuna features on Lost Without A Sound. They’re joined on Heartache Allegory, by Quetzal Guerrero, Mizzy, Ade Alafia and Amalia. With some of the same personnel featuring on Heartache Allegory that featured on Invocation, will Heartache Allegory match the quality of Invocation? That’s what I’ll tell you, after I’ve told you about the music on Heartache Allegory.

Mon Amour ”Eternal Love” is just a tantalizing taster of what’s to come on Heartache Allegory. It’s a thirty-second snippet of melodic and bold keyboards that whets the appetite nicely.

Ain’t Easy sees the introduction of the first guest artist on Heartache Allegory. Quetzal Guerrero join Sage Monk, as a similar melodic keyboard sound to the opening track is introduced. They’re joined by percussion and crispy drums in providing the backdrop for the vocal. The vocal is heartfelt and impassioned, delivered with a tenderness. Handclaps, crashing cymbals and melodic keyboards drift in and out of the arrangement, as the vocal, like the arrangement, grows in power, passion and drama. Later, a rapped vocal added, adding a hip hop sound to the mostly Nu Soul sound. This works well, adding to the drama, passion and beauty of the track.

Hatred Temple is another short interlude. Unlike the previous one, there’s a busier, bolder sounds. It piques your attention, makes you think, especially given the title. This means this interlude has worked. It’s designed to ask questions and make you think.

Truth Hurts is a very different sounding track, one that’s very beautiful. It features Mizzy, another of the guest artists. Here, elements of African Roots, hip hop and Nu Soul are fused, while the track reveals a vocal that’s impassioned, full of emotion and feeling. Keyboards, percussion, bells, pounding drums and backing vocalists combine, creating a backdrop that’s full of subtle sounds and nuances. The more you hear the track, the more you hear different sounds, subtleties and surprises. Similarly, the more you hear the track, the more you grow to love it and the more you feel and share the hurt, anguish and pain in the vocal. After all, as Sage Monk says Truth Hurts.

C.Robert Walker played an important part in the success of Boddhi Satva’s Invocation, both as a guest artist and songwriter. He plays an equally important role on Never, a track that’s dramatic and one that teases and tantalises you with its hidden secrets. Slowly, very slowly the track unfolds. Keyboards, percussion and samples are added, while the vocal is sincere, fervent and totally heartfelt. As Sage and C.Robert Walker’s vocals intertwine, each adding to the emotion, passion and beauty of the track. It’s impossible not to be touched and moved by their vocals, and it’s impossible to resist a track as beautiful, heartfelt and spiritual as this. This is music for the soul and for the heart.

Pounding drums reverberate dramatically Would You Walk Away begins. Keyboards and percussion are added, providing a contrast. Then comes the moody, broody vocal. It’s full of anguish and hurt, as it asks “Would You Walk Away?” When the vocal drops out, the keyboards take over, but you await the anguished, probing vocal. You feel and share the pain, you worry about the answer and the effects of that answer. You’re caught up in the drama, anguish and hurt. That’s how powerful the music is, that it can move and change your emotions. 

Seven Degrees Of Perfection sees marauding beats and squelchy synths combine and collide. There’s a boldness and drama to the this twenty-second snapshot of music. Elements of drum and bass and Acid House can be heard as Sage Monk leaves you hanging. You long for the track to last longer

Aching Heart is an eight-minute epic that features Ade Alafia. There’s a real African Roots sound to the track when it opens. Percussion, drums and shakers combine, before stabs of keyboards enter. You can hear water cascading before the vocal enters. It’s delivered with feeling, with sincerity and emotion. You’re drawn in, spellbound. When the arrangement grows, the tempo quickens. By now a myriad of percussion, drums and subtle, but dramatic layers of keyboards combine. Two things makes this such a great track, the African Roots influenced arrangement and an impassioned, powerful and absolutely heartfelt vocal.

The Thief Interlude is thirty-seconds of contrasts. The tempo is slow, with keyboards gentle and melodic. They’re the thief creeping along, while drums pound like the thief’s heartbeatm as he tries to escape or evade capture. Understated and dramatic, the track is about contrasts, but paints a picture in thirty-seconds.

Lost Without A Sound features Leslie Kisumuna, who also featured on Boddhi Satva’s Invocation. Her vocal is uplifting and joyous sound, while Sage’s vocal is the polar opposite. His vocal is dark and moody. Meanwhile, the arrangement has a contemporary house music sound, with keyboards, drums and percussion combining. With a tempo of 122 beats per minute, this is a real dance-floor friendly track. Later, a piano enters, joining keyboards, synths and percussion. Although they’re key to the track’s sound and success, it’s the vocal and their contrasting sounds and styles that are most important. While Leslie’s vocal is uplifting and joyful, Sage’s is dark and dramatic. As they unite, they both play vital role’s in the track’s sound and success.

Still In Love With You closes Heartache Allegory. It features a sassy, seductive vocal from Amalia. Her vocal is soulful and impassioned, one of the best on Heartache Allegory. She’s accompanied by crunchy drums, swathes and stabs of keyboards and percussion. The addition of a rasping, jazzy saxophone as a finishing touch is a masterstroke. It drifts above the arrangement, adding to the contemporary, emotive sound as Amalia fuses emotion and passion. Again, it’s a guest artist who plays a leading role in a track’s success, with Amalia delivering a seductive, sassy vocal.

Sage Monk’s debut album Heartache Allegory is a compelling musical journey. On this musical journey, Sage is joined by hugely talented artists of the stature of C.Robert Walker, Leslie Kisumuna, Quetzal Guerrero, Mizzy, Ade Alafia and Amalia. Together, they create eleven innovative tracks, tracks that straddle musical genres and influences. There’s everything from African Roots, house music, Nu Soul, jazz and hip hop. Four of the tracks are just short snapshots of music, posing questions. Sometimes, Sage Monk doesn’t provide answers, leaving you hanging, wondering and thinking. These tracks provoke thought, with Hatred Temple and The Thief Interlude two good examples of this. The other seven tracks vary from heartfelt, impassioned and beautiful tracks like Truth Hurts, Never and Aching Heart through to tracks with a real contemporary sound. Two examples of this are Lost Without A Sound and Still In Love, the two tracks that close Heartache Allegory have a more contemporary sound. There’s a real house music influence and sound to Lost Without A Sound. Still In Love With You which closes Heartache Allegory features a sassy, seductive vocal from Amalia along with an equally seductive, jazzy saxophone solo. Her vocal is just one of several quality vocals on Heartache Allegory. They’re key to the success and sound of the album. Boddhi Satva’s production was also key to Heartache Allegory’s sound and success. He brought his experience and talent, creating an album that’s a fusion of styles and sounds. This means there are parallels with Boddhi’s debut album Invocation.

Earlier, I wondered whether giving music away free cheapens music? I can say the answer to that is a resounding no. Instead, it helps a new artist build a large, loyal fan-base, who will buy their future albums. Giving music away free is an innovative marketing tool, but one that works and will life an artist’s profile.  I also wondered whether Heartache Allegory, which features some of the artists that appeared on Boddhi Satva’s Invocation, would match Invocation for quality? That was a big ask for any album, given that Invocation is one of the best albums of 2012. However, Heartache Allegory comes close. The eleven tracks on Heartache Allegory, like Invocation, are a similar fusion of musical genres and influences. Like Invocation, Heartache Allegory features some heartfelt, impassioned and beautiful music.  Heartache Allegory is music that’s from Sage Monk’s heart, music that’s for the heart and soul and music that’s not only uplifting and inspirational, but extremely emotive and beautiful. Standout Tracks: Truth Hurts, Never, Lost Without A Sound and Still In Love With You.

SAGE MONK-HEARTACHE ALLEGORY.

Like bright white light shone into naked eyes Held open against their will, Truth hurts, doesn’t it? Some don’t hide behind lies in order to keep peace; Used to being unpopular. Truth is Lots of things in this life hurt. You just get used to it.

Everywhere I turn I see people having babies and getting married.

Odd thing is, is that they are all in my age bracket.

It’s like a baby boom-marriage-idiocracy trifecta from hell.

Idiots have babies and/or marry people they probably won’t stay with. Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries would kick some of these peoples marriages in the ass. That’s how pathetic this whole thing is getting.

The fucking NBA lockout was longer than some of their marriages. Seriously.

It’s most unfortunate for the babies because they will most and likely grow up to be just like Mommy and Daddy or worse.

Of course, there will be the few exceptions but how can one really think the next generation of children will not be mind-blowingly stupid? It’s not their fault. I’m just stating facts.

All the dumb asses have kids while all the intelligent people are not. They are choosing not to have babies for many reasons:

1. Kids are fucking expensive.
2. College is top priority at this moment in time.
3. Being fresh out of high school is suppose to essentially “set you free” (figure of speech). You’re not suppose to leave HS to stay at home all day and raise babies. You’re suppose to go to college or enter some field and become a beneficial member to society, thus gaining life skills/wisdom and financial stability to aid you in raising children later on in your adult life.

Sincerely,
Condoms and birth control are, and always will be, cheaper than children.

P.S. – Your parents don’t want to raise their grand kids so stop making them.

Ha.Ha.Ha.

Via Party-n-Bullshit

“Don’t worry about what people say behind your back, they are the people who are finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own life”

That just about sums up alot of the people in my life whom which have doubted me or fooled themselves into believing that they’re better than me…dream on (LAUGHING OUT LOUD FACE!)

LIKE if you agree!

“Brewski Signing Off, For Now” 

You may say that my life is nothing, but i say my life is better than yours. truth may be hurt, but it is the honesty. betapa gampangnya orang berkata dengan ringan, seolah lidah itu hilang hingga tidak ada sekat yg menutupi mulut kosong, lalu setelah cipratan itu ditepis, dengan mudahnya bilang “maap saya hanya bercanda”. dengan lidah yang menjulur keluar.

Entah makhluk apa itu namanya, pastinya manusia tp tidak tahu dari kategori apa. mungkin salah satu makhluk sombong jenis lain. Saya beri label sombong karena makhluk itu menghargai diri secara berlebihan, membanggakan diri, congkak, merasa lebih baik dari orang lain.

Saya memang bukan siapa-siapa dan tak punya apa-apa, memang tidak ada yang harus saya banggakan dari diri saya, tp bukan berarti anda lebih baik dari saya.

Ada yang bilang saya tidak mengerjakan apa-apa, lalu hidup saya tidak ada apa-apanya, maksudnya orang itu lebih baik dari saya dalam segala hal kira-kira seperti itu. dan kata-kata itu terus ada dikepala saya sampai hari ini saya menemukan definisi yang tepat atas orang itu. SOMBONG!

Sombong adalah benih-benih yang kadang muncul tanpa kita sadari. Sombong dalam hal materi adalah sombong tingkat pertama, banyak dan contohnya kentara. Sombong kategori lain seperti yang saya alami adalah sombong tingkat kedua, sombong karena dalam hal kecerdasan, merasa lebih cerdas hingga merendahkan orang lain, dia merasa lebih pintar, lebih kompeten, dan lebih berwawasan dibanding orang lain. dan juga orang itu menderita penyakit sombong tingkat ketiga, sombong dalam hal kebaikan, orang itu mengganggap dirinya lebih bermoral, lebih pemurah dan lebih tulus dibanding orang lain.

Alih-alih memberi saran, tapi sangat menyakiti hati, karena saya merasa direndahkan dalam hal ini. Sulit memang membedakan antara nasihat dan bullshit. Saya pribadi, tidak pernah memberi nasihat atau pendapat kecuali ditanya. saya selalu menanamkan hal itu didalam diri saya.

Terserahlah mau judge saya apa, anda tidak tahu apa-apa tentang saya, apakah dengan menjudge saya anda merasa lebih baik? saya ucapkan selamat jika begitu. Anda mungkin lebih baik dari saya tp itu menurut versi dunia anda, tapi menurut versi dunia saya, anda itu kotoran! piece of shit. Saya menikmati dunia saya dan anda tidak perlu masuk didalamnya.

Perlu saya bilang kalo saya bisa memiliki apa yang saya mau. tapi maap saya tidak mau sombong seperti anda. Anda lihat saya diam, bukan berarti saya tidak pernah berlari seumur hidup saya bukan?

Mungkin saya harus kasihan sama orang seperti itu, kasihan sekali dia minta di hormati, disegani, dan dihargai oleh saya hingga dia memuncratkan kata-kata berbau “kotoran” hanya untuk mendapat hormat, segan, dan harga dimata saya.

Ya, saya pengangguran dan tidak melakukan apa-apa, tapi saya menikmatinya, orang tua saya tidak bermasalah, kenapa anda merasa lebih berhak menentukan saya harus apa dan bagaimana. mengapa anda harus repot-repot seperti itu, memangnya anda itu siapa???

Saya resign keputusan saya, saya hura-hura kemauan saya, saya bangkrut urusan saya, saya jatuh, saya yang sakit, bukan anda!

Sombong karena kebaikan, sulit terdeteksi karena seringkali hanya berbentuk benih-benih halus di dalam batin. Akar dari kesombongan ini adalah ego yang berlebihan. Awalnya ego menampilkan dirinya dalam bentuk harga diri, perasaan menghargai dirinya, menghadiahi dirinya sendiri, lalu bertransform menjadi kepercayaan diri. Akan tetapi, begitu kedua hal ini berubah menjadi kebanggaan, Anda sudah berada sangat dekat dengan kesombongan.

Yang menarik, semakin tinggi tingkat kesombongan, semakin sulit pula kita mendeteksinya.

Musuh utama kita adalah diri kita sendiri, we aren’t saint or sinner, but we have to choose one of them.

Regards,