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Blogs about: Trying To Figure Something Out

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Trying to figure something out pt31 comment

wewatchandlearn wrote 3 weeks ago: Bruce Wexler, in his book ‘Brain and Culture: Neuroscience, Ideology and Social Change’ argues that … more →

Tags: boarding school, death of father, identity, memoir, Philosophy, Schoolboy

Trying to figure something out pt2

wewatchandlearn wrote 1 month ago: The Islamic way of life is all-encompassing, and every choice in one’s life is directed. In fact, Is … more →

Tags: boarding school, Muslim, Peer Pressure, schoolboy politics

Trying to figure something out pt1

wewatchandlearn wrote 1 month ago: For most of my adult life, I have been trying to figure something out. It wasn’t always like this. A … more →

Tags: Philosophy, Islam, Childhood, memoir

we never play this song

the edges wrote 11 months ago: close(d) and i mean never. it is the only song unchecked in our playlist of our songs (yep, we liste … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Update, Audio, Music, e*a and me, mom

plus i'm smoking like a chimney

the edges wrote 11 months ago: staying up late but not often able to sleep in. um plus we’ve lost perspective says someone. i … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Update, Being Good, Dysfunctionality, associating, Body, circling birds, inter-system communication, insomnia

plus

the edges wrote 11 months ago: we got all triggerred last nigth cuz m*riad basically told us that they were doing *us* a favor by l … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, being clingy/needy, mom, smoking, Self-Hating, scareded, being good to be around, Self-harm

m*riad and us talked

the edges wrote 11 months ago: i think wes are really similar.  both of us are constantly striving for the other’s love/appor … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Update, Being Good, the borderlines, being clingy/needy, mom, being hard on ourselves, feeling crazy, scareded

i think part of what triggers us

the edges wrote 11 months ago: when m*riad gets tired and needs to go to sleep is that we have to leave and go back to our apartmen … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, being good enough, Triggers

i am sad and small and scared

the edges wrote 11 months ago: i know i am a bad girl.  i know that for sure.  i know i am bad very bad and scared.  i know things … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, the borderlines, being clingy/needy, mom, smoking, being hard on ourselves, self-mocking, feeling crazy

funny stuff

the edges wrote 12 months ago: i was thinking about it and i realized that wait.  i was thinking about how i have this thing about … more →

Tags: e*a and me, using humor

idea for why e*a is so concerned about our safety lately

the edges wrote 12 months ago: she is getting close to memories that trigger feelings that i am not safe or that i will need to kil … more →

Tags: e*a and me, scareded, Self-harm, Anti-Suicide, Programming, Triggers

i think in a lot of ways i feel like i need to never be weak

the edges wrote 1 year ago: especially show it, but even to feel it.  like i was just emailing with e*a and she was like sorry t … more →

Tags: Being Good, e*a and me, scareded, Body, being good to be around, being good enough, (showing) weakness

someone bursts into tears when we sing the chorus of "throw it all away"

the edges wrote 1 year ago: listen to it when the stars, and the moon and the sky, fall through I'd throw them all away when I'm … more →

Tags: Update, Crying, Projection, messages/meaning in music, .

it's because she is still seeing mom

the edges wrote 1 year ago: she is still seeing her.  she is the favorite.  she is the channel for her energy.  i am picking it … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, keeping a record, talking about things we don't want to talk about, Being Good, mom, royal/fairy taleish imagery, extensive reppetition, Self-harm, circling birds

i was thinking

the edges wrote 1 year ago: if i had a relationship with someone who hurt me, and some/most/all of the time i wanted them to or … more →

Tags: scareded, lack of choice, how i might feel

a good day

the edges wrote 1 year ago: so we heard someone singing this line in our head so we tried to make it happen on the guitar. we … more →

Tags: keeping a record, Audio, Music, Dysfunctionality, Self-Hating, creative stuff, being multiple, songs we wrote, emotions underneath

but what if the people had guns?

the edges wrote 1 year ago: and could shoot her? mow her down with bullets driving by or through the window or roof or floor of … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, scareded, Dream Places, Dreams, dangerous info, Hypotheticals, relevence

i guess it feels like we are not safe

the edges wrote 1 year ago: yesterday with the txt today with the call about police. like we are never safe nowhere.  i don … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, scareded, Body, Nobody loves me, (lack of) safety

we just talked to e*a

the edges wrote 1 year ago: and are really freaked out.  we had to get off the phoen cuz minutes felt bad she is lonely needs pe … more →

Tags: Update, scareded, EA


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