Have you ever noticed how “counter-intuitive” life is?

I mean, when we WANT something, we like to pursue it in a way that seems logical and sensible to us. But that “logical, sensible” path almost never works!

Here are a few examples:

1) Toddler “A” wants to pet a cat. He chases the cat around so he can pet it as much as possible. The cat does whatever necessary to avoid him. Toddler “B” sitting nearby is playing with his toys and doesn’t care about the cat. The cat soon saunters up to toddler ”B” and repeatedly rubs against him, begging to be petted.   

2) You want to lose 5 pounds of fat. You stop eating breakfast to cut calories. You gain 10 MORE pounds of fat within six months. It didn’t work, so you give up and start eating a healthy breakfast every morning. Who cares about the calories. Six months later, you’re shocked to realize that you lost not only the 10 extra pounds you just gained, but an additional 5 pounds as well. You met your goal “without even trying”!

3) A woman goes to a bar…she wants to meet a wealthy, good-looking young guy who’s already living a fun lifestyle. A good-looking young guy who meets her criteria perfectly walks into the bar, sees the woman, introduces himself, and proceeds to explain to her how rich he is and how great of a life he’s leading. He asks for her number. She says no and turns back to her friends. He walks away rejected. Two hours later, an “average” looking guy with a boring job approaches the same woman. He strikes up a conversation with her, and walks away several minutes later with her phone number and tentative date plans.

4) An extremely wealthy man who is famous for his ability to help people become financially independent admits that one of the most VITAL secrets to becoming wealthy is “to not care too much about becoming wealthy”.

It seems like almost EVERYTHING in life is counter-intuitive!

When I first started selling cable door-to-door, I worked 6 days per week. Heck, even my 1 day off was filled with phone calls, paperwork, and planning.

This habit continued, but soon my numbers started swirling downward, getting worse and worse by the week. So I started working HARDER. Not only did I continue working 6 days per week, but I began working almost double the hours!

My numbers got better, but I was wearing myself out and quickly starting to hate my job.  

It wasn’t until a wise co-worker of mine mentioned the importance of taking time to rest and rejuvenate that I realized what I was doing wrong, and knew what it would take to get my numbers (and income) back to an acceptable level.

Immediately, I decided to take two FULL days off per week…to the point that I actually began turning my work cell phone off on Sundays and Thursdays (my days off).

My numbers didn’t just stay in the “acceptable” range. They got better.

Like, WAY better.

After several weeks (and a good bit of strategizing), I took it a step further and actually decided to actually STOP knocking doors for an additional 2 days per week. Instead of knocking doors, I used those 2 specific days to call leads and upgrade current customers!

Now, I only knock doors three days per week, and my numbers are higher than ever (not to mention my income).

In fact, since I made these changes, I rarely EVER drop below 1st or 2nd place out of 15 reps in the office for performance. 

This is what I learned:

If you’re trying really hard to achieve/do something and it’s just not working, trying harder is rarely the answer.  You’re most likely doing the wrong things!

Think about it.

Reconsider your methods.

Ask yourself if there’s an easier way that just might work better. And consider every option with an open mind, realizing that the BEST answer may not even logically make sense. .

Could success be a lot easier than we think?

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter's love child. (Meredith Music Festival, Victoria, Australia)

This is an example of shit you regret when you are sober. 

I hope you all get the categories enough to know which one she falls into.

Yep Yep Yep its its its its TRYING WAY TOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD.

Spare a thought for the ozone. Don’t  put that much hairspray in your hair. But thanks for doing it and giving me the chance to take the piss out of you.

And thanks for agreeing to pose for another shot too you naive young lass….

Four Gals, a bit of acid and a can of hairspray (Meredith Music Festival, Victoria, Australia)

Taking the puppies to the pool

The girl on the (front) right is my cousin Caity. She is a hilarious mole. BUT in this photo – you guessed it – Caity is trying too hard.

Put those puppies away dear girl. As Carrie’s mother used to say “Put away your devil pillows – they’ll only lead to sin.”

Much Love,

Your older, wiser, cousin ….

Under cuts, fur coats, doc martens and skinny jeans....

I’ll admit, these people were borderline almost in the “Don’t need to try category”… but then I saw their smug faces and I thought… “ha you aren’t nonchalant cool at all – your inner monologue is something like…..”God I look amazing… can’t believe mum let me borrow her coat… I really hope someone doesn’t vomit on it…I wish my girlfriend was skinnier…”"

Hence these peeps are in the Trying too hard category.

Please note the lame face paint.

Rob Thomas on Acid...Matchbox 20 are not playing at Meredith knob face

I think the caption says enough.

So, there are so many things happening in this photo. I want you to first of all notice the man in burnt orange cardi. If you use your try hard radar he is the first thing you should notice. Contrived doesn’t even begin to describe…

Second you should notice the flannel that is being worn without early nineties irony in front of him. Third you should notice the excessive skinniness of the ankles of the man top stage right. I have a lady friend named Jess and her ankles are so skinny and feet so large that we (or mainly I) call her “Ducky”. Ducky, I think I have found your male equivalent.

Management (2008)
★★ / ★★★★

At first I was put off with how “Management” started because the movie essentially begged the audiences to buy that a romance could potentially happen between a beautiful art saleswoman (Jennifer Aniston) and a creepy, stalker-like motel night manager (Steve Zahn). If someone I met once from across the country decided to visit me, my reaction would be fear, confusion and I would probably call the police. But Aniston’s character decided to go along for the ride with some reservations, only to realize later on that she might be falling in love with her stalker. That doesn’t sound very romantic but what started off as annoying to me became something bearable and charming toward the end. As offbeat as the film was, I liked its progression and its portrait of a woman who wanted to give so much to everyone who was in need that she neglected her own needs. I could see why she likened to Zahn’s character, as weird as he was, because he had a child-like quality that I, too, look for in a partner. The intimate moments they shared like having a simple dinner as he would ask her questions about her state of mind, her job, and her dreams for the future solified the fact that the picture wanted to be something more. This is essentially a character-driven film that was bogged down by the comedic scenes that were trying way too hard, when in actuality the best and funniest scenes were the ones when it didn’t try to impress. I give credit to movies that strive to be good even if they don’t quite reach the level where they should be. And “Management,” written and directed by Stephen Belber, happens to be one of those movies. If one is into watching damaged characters with strong convictions, I give this film a recommendation. However, I must warn others who are not a fan of smaller, more off-beat movies to stay away because it would most likely frustrate them from the sometimes lack of common sense of some characters. Some might argue that not everyone makes the same choice in given situations so the issue of “common sense” is subjective. I took that into consideration, decided to run with how everything was unfolding, and it turned out to be pretty interesting.

Nice cowboy hat and belt buckle.  What’s up Marlboro Man?  You get that hat from the farm?  No.  Oh, I see, it was a gift from your niece who picked it up from the swag table at the Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus concert last week.  And that belt with the oversized, almost novelty, belt buckle – did you win it at the rodeo or from the turkey shoot at the county fair?  It was an impulse buy from near the register at Abercrombie & Fitch.  At 36, aren’t you a little old to be shopping there?  But we digress.

That’s great that you order table service and the most expensive bottle in the place, but didn’t you look around and realize this is a dive bar?  That 22 oz. Budweiser Select big beer was a good choice for someone with such discerning taste and a refined palate.  Oh, this is a fine dining establishment and martini bar.  You look like a tool ordering the $350 drink made with Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac, Dom Pérignon champagne, a dash of orange liquor, and garnished with a sapphire in the bottom of the glass to impress the already drunk bar fly cougar he has been hitting on all night.  ‘Nuff said.

Yep, he’s an all around classy dude.  Needless to say, keep on trying.

As promised, today’s post will include a more in-depth analysis of Friday night’s date with Mr. Smooth Operator, who was teetering on the brink of elimination in the “Who Wants to Date Krissy Scatton?” sweepstakes.  (I wonder if VH-1 would snap up that concept for a reality show?  They are the network that is about to bring us, this shitshow so who knows?)  But I digress.

Those of you who checked the blog over the weekend know that the date actually (perhaps anticlimactically) went well.  We went for dinner at a cozy little BYOB up in Old City, had some bangin’ Italian food (including my favorite dish in the whole wide world, lobster ravioli), and enjoyed some nice conversation.  Not that the date wasn’t without its awkward moments.  Twice I had to put my foot down and forbid him from using two different tired, cheesy jokes, which he already overused on our first two dates.  And he did voluntarily admit at one point that he has a tendency to try too hard.  This was the point when I slid on my Awkwardness Cloak (similiar to Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak, except an Awkwardness Cloak is red and blinking and tends to make people around you shift nervously in their seats) and kind of nodded, then blathered something about people always being nervous when they meet someone new and want to impress them before hastily and gracelessly changing the subject.  Which I guess makes me a hypocrite for ribbing this guy, since I’m not exactly Slick Rick over here, although I mostly only tend to get awkward in conversation when I’m trying really, really hard to be tactful, because that’s not a normal state of being for me.  It’s like my mouth and my mind get locked in a fight to the death, and I wind up sounding like English is my second language.

At any rate, Friday night was not as bad as it could have been (or frankly, as I was expecting it to be), although I should know by now that  any scenarios that my overly pessimistic mind can dream up are usually 10 times worse than anything that can actually happen (although I don’t like to think of it as pessimistic, I prefer to think of it as prepared.) We don’t have any concrete plans to see each other again this week, but I borrowed one of his CDs to burn, so I feel like there is the understanding that we will see each other again, which is ok with me, but…

But, but, but.  There’s always a but.  The rest of the weekend, as I thought more about Friday night, the more I became certain that I am not interested in anything more than casual dating with this gentleman.  Going out to eat or see a movie or something once a week or so is fine for now, but deep down I’m not feeling the spark that’s telling me to really push for this to go somewhere deeper.  Which of course begs the question, Do I tell him that?

My gut instinct tells me that full disclosure is the way to go – that I should tell him right here and now that I’m not looking for anything more than a casual dating arrangement with him.  However, in my experience, 9 times out of 10, full disclosure is the fastest way for me to end up flat on my face, embarrassed and alone.  This time, part of me really, really, really wants to keep my big trap shut, if only to see if I can, and let the chips fall where they may.  Let him be the one to bring up the “Where is this going?” question for once; I’m tired of it.  My only concern is that leaves me no opportunity to cover my ass – he would be wide open to tell me that I was leading him on.  And, honestly, I would tend to agree with him.  So, as usual, the scenario is something like this: Rock – Krissy – hard place.

Of course, this may all be wild speculation.  For all I know, he could have walked out of his house this morning and tripped over some beautiful, wonderful woman and fallen in love at first sight and forgotten all about me.  Chances are, the things that I worry about today will never come to pass tomorrow.  Maybe for once I should just relax, go with the flow, and look on the bright side – at least I didn’t need that other bottle of wine on Friday.

So something that happened today got me thinking about relationships and the effect family and friends have. I personally have never done this, so I was wondering if it works.

There is this school of thought among some girls (and as it surprisingly turns out men as well) that believe that if the mother and sisters of their SO likes them, then they are more likely to get the guy to commit to them. Don’t get me wrong, I know family acknowledgement is important, and I would not consider being in a serious relationship with someone if my family had good reasons to dislike or distrust him.

However, just because my mother and sisters like you does not mean we are meant to be! I mean surely, in this day and age who still does things like that? Who tries to get all friendly with the person’s siblings in the hope that the siblings will sing your praises and make me see the light, see that you and me are meant to be! NKT!

Even then..that is not too bad…what really gets to me is someone deciding that since I have never introduced them to my family, they would take it upon themselves to make that introduction themselves..and proceed to creep out said sibling. NKT! If you cannot/will never convince me to be in a relationship with you, how will my sister help you? Seriously help me here..I’m bila answers.

*Singing along to Bug a boo by Destinys Child*

“And so what, my momma likes you
What now? I guess you think I will too
Even if the Pope said he likes you too
I don’t really care ’cause you’re a bug a boo“

Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
★★ / ★★★★

Joel Coen directs this story about a gold-digger (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and a divorce lawyer’s (George Clooney) mind games. The two seemingly like each other despite their bickering but it is really difficult to define their relationship because they always have something up their sleeves (sometimes with the aid of lucky coincidences). I did enjoy the first half of this picture because it was silly and it embraced its screwball nature. However, somewhere in the second half, I grew tired of it mainly because the once astute two lead characters became simple caricatures not worth liking. I kept trying to convince myself there was something more about them other than their scamming ways but I was disappointed that there wasn’t. I know that the Coen brothers have a proclivity for irony but there is such a thing as too much irony. This film is a fine example of the latter so it became convoluted instead of focused, smug instead of welcoming, unfunny instead of dryly funny. I did, however, enjoy the supporting actors such as Cedric the Entertainer, Edward Herrmann, Richard Jenkins, Billy Bob Thornton and Geoffrey Rush. But their presence alone did not save this heavy-handed movie about two bickering infantile adults who have nothing better to do than to make each other’s lives miserable. I liked Zeta-Jones and Clooney’s acting during the first half because it was easy to tell that they were having fun with their characters. However, in the second half, I believe they crossed the line between being funny and trying too hard to be funny but actually failing at it. In the end, I wondered what happened to the power the Coen brothers usually had in their films. But I suppose great directors have their failures as well. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a bad movie. It’s simply a mediocre product given the expectations that usually come in a Coen brothers picture. It was too quirky for its own good when it really should have been working on its substance.

Photo By: Kimbundance

T.T.H DISEASE
Trying too hard is a disease. I call this the T.T.H disease. T.T.H stands simply for “Trying To Hard.” It’s a system that many people follow because in this ego based society we are always trying too hard to please everyone. When you try too hard you are given more and more challenges in life, that you unknowingly created. T.T.H is a disease that plagues a lot of people. Like any other disease, it can spread rapidly depending on the company you decide to keep. If you hang around with enough people that have this disease, if you aren’t consious of what is happening, you can begin to agree that this is a disease you also have. The hard part for most people is to let go of the T.T.H disease, once they are infected with it.

“He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.”
-Henry David Thoreau

 
WHERE T.T.H ORIGINATED
I believe that The T.T.H disease originated a very long time ago. I think that it started because someone back in history was so scared of the future that decided to past these thoughts of lack and scarcity to others. People followed suit because like courage, fear is also a strong human emotion. The T.T.H disease is something that you will experience in your life, but realize when it comes and how to work around this disease, and how to avoid it. This disease does have a cure, and it all begins and ends with your mindset. What are you putting your focus on? What are you trying to prove to others? Sit back relax. Go with the flow of life, or get swept away in a typhoon, of highly unconscious individuals that are trying hard for working for causes that lead to destruction.

“This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.”
-Captain J. A. Hadfield
 

WHAT THE CURRENT ECONOMY IS TEACHING YOU
This current economy is collapsing and people are beginning to see that the old ways of doing things aren’t working like they used to. People are loosing jobs and loosing homes at record highs. The current economy is a real life example of what we need more of in this society.
I urge you to get creative. Take a new route, use your creative abilities to shine your inner light to the world. By taping into this creative energy deep within you, you will escape the T.T.H Disease. Think of the T.T.H Disease as the ideology that mainstream society wants from you. The only way to combat against it is to make society fit into what you want for you, and from that place you can offer much to the rest of the world.
 

“The Current Collapse in the U.S Economy Presents Tremendous Opportunity for Those That Are Prepared.”
-Baker
 

WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD KNOWS-THE CURE # 1
Begin now to focus on your inner creative child. This inner creative child has more potential than you probably are willing to admit at this moment, but realize that the new energy that is coming into this planet will abundantly support those that are operating from their creative child. Your inner child is the cure to the T.T.H Disease. Your inner child has wisdom that will take you to greater heights if you choose to let it in. It wants to play, it wants to create. As you begin to allow your inner child to speak louder to you than the wants of mainstream society, you will be entering a space that allows you to go with the flow of life, v.s against it. I am convinced that when you are feeling really good, and enthusastic about any current project you are working on, events, people and things are moving along in a very nice pace, this is physical evidence that you are following your inner creative child. Listening to that inner Child is the 1st cure to the T.T.H disease.

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
-Pablo Picasso

 
DON”T SEEK APPROVAL-THE CURE #2
What I have noticed is that a lot of this disease comes from actively trying desperately to seek approval from others. I know it’s easier said than done, but when you really start basing your life from what you expect for yourself, and not the way that others want or expect from you, you will realize that seeking approval is actually pointless and serves no purpose. Think of it, the only real approval you’ll ever need is what you think of yourself, because if your fine with you, everything else flows naturally. When you are flowing naturally, not seeking approval from others, the T.T.H disease weakens as your spirit gets stronger. the T.T.H disease. When you are right with yourself, your outer world is right.
When you are approaching life proving nothing, you gain everything.

“To love what you do and feel that it matters how could anything be more fun?”
-Katharine Graham

With Gratitude,
+Baker

At 26 I am in talk therapy for the first time in my life.

I’ve no doubt I would have benefited from therapy earlier, but between leaving home at 16, getting married at 18, supporting myself through a bachelor and a masters degree while getting divorced, remarried and having a baby – I had no time to stop and say, hey, my behaviors and thoughts about myself and others aren’t that great.

I am not bipolar. Instead, I have what probably most American’s suffer from, an undefined personality disorder that combines type A personality with depression and anxiety wrapped in low-self-esteem and self-loathing. My Shrink calls in something, something heroism.

Bottom line: I just try too damned hard, but I’m not going anywhere.

I’ve seen My Shrink twice now and go again this coming Wednesday. The first time I went to see him, he said I try too hard. I could have told him that – I know I try to hard at the wrong things, I just don’t know how to fix it – there is a lot of family stuff, mingled with experiences in my young adult life that have put kinks in what could have been a much smoother path.

Though this makes me more interesting, it also makes for fast forming and fast falling friendships, anger and outbursts, binge and overeating, and days spent in bed or ignoring household chores.

It is embarrassing.

So many days I want to say, get up, put on your bra and say, lets get going – and instead end up at Target, purchasing items for no particular reason except that it makes me feel good.

My Shrink says it doesn’t really make me feel good. He’s given me a list of instructions to follow – and I’m including the best ones:

1.) Eat three meals per day. He emphasized my goal is not to lose weight. He even said I could eat large portions, as long as it follows healthy guidelines for vegetables, fruit, milk, water per day (such as those of Weight Watchers). After three square real meals a day, if I want to binge on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, or french bread with Brie, he told me to go for it.

2.) Sit with my feelings. Before I binge, I’m supposed to sit and analyze my feelings. Usually, I get to the fridge (or McDonald’s) too fast to analyze anything, let alone how I feel about it.

3.) Go to OA: Or any 12 step program. Programs that show you, you can’t control everything.

4.) Stop trying so hard.

I have been eating my 3 squares per day, sans the water required (why I have an aversion to water I don’t know – I never used to). And I have been gong to OA online (cheating according to my therapist, but he says he won’t fire me over it). I’ve written down some of my feelings in a diary (mostly anger, self-loathing).

But I can’t stop trying so hard. I end up in a tizzy taking on too many projects or having too many expectations. I can’t and never have learned how to relax. I have to be watching tv, sending e-mails and working on a new dish all at the same time in order to feel really satisfied.

Today is my day off of work. I’ve had a healthy breakfast of:

- 2 eggs scrambled with olive oil, sauteed mushrooms and heirloom tomatoes.

Before therapy, my breakfast would usually consist of:

- Grande iced mocha with whipped cream.

That of course is not to say I don’t still have the mocha on occasion (okay, 5 days per week). But it is smaller, and I usually skip the whipped cream.

So, a whole day free from any obligation but to care for my fun-loving toddler and I still feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’m thinking of the house I need to clean for the babysitter tomorrow, the groceries I need to purchase, a work task that can only be done in person, my animals that need caring for, my child that needs caring for, the writing I would like to accomplish, and oh yeah, I wanted to move those boxes to the garage and finish painting the babies new room.

At noon there is an OA meeting down the street from where I live. I’m sure they would not mind if I took my child, I’ve taken a little kitten once, but I’m terrified to go.

What sucks the most about seeing a shrink? The shame. It is easy to commiserate about therapy with like minded folks also trying to get help to make it through the days.

But what about spouses who don’t go to a shrink and don’t still really understand why you need therapy?

So I’m going to try to stop trying so hard. I don’t actually know what that would look like for me. Maybe it would be not caring what people think about how my house looks, walking into an OA meeting and not feeling ashamed, or finally following up on the rest of the checklist for My Shrink, so I don’t have to go back to him on Wednesday and say, I didn’t follow your treatment plan.

Kudos to everyone trying not to try hard. I’m open to advice – please feel free to tell me what Your Shrink Says.

She works too hard for approval

My friend

Tap dancing, tap dancing

For all who enter

Round and round

Faster and faster

For some who are worthy

Those who are not

The quest for approval

All that attention

All that energy

All that time

Or maybe not

Tap shoes on, tap shoes off

Left outside the front door

Next to the sign

No more – Ø

All rights reserved.  ©2009 by Sara Fryd

alright, so today was my first day back at work after my vacation. they all seemed like they were happy to have me back except for one person who recently was kinda crabby and will probably continue to be so.

of course i wanted to know the latest dish about a certain someone. apparently, vacation time is an impediment to gossip. at least there was nothing new to report. alright, fine.

by the end of the day i happened to send an email to her about a file she wanted input on. i told her i did my best, didn’t understand some parts but hoped it was fine anyways. she then emailed me back all nice and fluffy about how she hopes my vacation was a blast (well, thank you, that is indeed nice, even though slightly unexpected) and then she asked me for a meeting so we could discuss the open points. i decided to be bold, having heard she shows up at work around 10, i suggested 8:30 (hey, if i can be there, she can be there).

and then the totally unexpected, and slightly creepy happened: she agreed to the time (ok, that’s not it, wait for it!) and then said she’ll trow in a croissant as breakfast treat. WHAT??? why would she say that? what does she want??? sorry, i can’t think anything else than “what does she want?” i didn’t reply yet because i was flabbergasted.

granted, she seems to be trying to make up for her bad start and i know we all give her a hard time, but could this be a case of trying a bit too hard? or maybe she wants to get all informal suddenly. mh…my mind is certainly alert. and i won’t be easy on her. this is her stupid assessment (the file she wanted input on) so i don’t intend to give her smart ideas! nope-no.

yes, i can be a b-i-t-c-h, too.

franzi

Something I learned from this experience is that single women try too hard.  My husband said this woman was INTO him immediately.  She completely stepped into his world and met his every need.  He said it wasn’t natural the way she fell for him and was so into him after only a week or so.  Of course, being a single, middle-aged, desperate woman, she has bought into the whole soul-mate thing.  It’s the same as when your in high school.  The boy wants sex, the girl thinks he is madly in love with her.  Most women outgrow this and develop relationships.  I am finding there is a whole group of women out there that haven’t figured it out yet.

My husband said for the woman’s sake, he wishes he could tell her what she is doing wrong.  He said she is really pitiful the way she was willing to drop everything for him.  He said it was like she was trying too hard.  He said it was like she had read Cosmo and was trying to do things to trap and keep a man.  He said it was just too much.  As a man, he said you think you want a woman who will drop everything, believe everything you say, tell you how wonderful you are, but when you have it, it doesn’t seem authentic.  Especially when you’ve only known each other two weeks.  He said his ego was loving it, but on another level, he realized she  didn’t even know him, and it was all fake.

So girls, the lesson is men don’t want you to change for them.  They don’t want a pushover.  A real man who wants a real relationship doesn’t want some woman who is reading Cosmo and acting out sexual fantasies.  They don’t want a woman who comes on too strong and seems desperate.  Men want something real.  So go on, read Cosmo all you want.  That is for players and losers.  Be a real person.  Be yourself.

And girls, tell your girlfriends the truth.  This  woman has a group of friends.  They had to know that this wasn’t real.  They had to know that this guy still had feelings for his wife.  They had to know he wasn’t going to jump into another relationship so fast and continue in it.  Don’t be afraid to tell your girlfriends the truth.  The guy is certainly not going to tell the truth.  We owe it to each other to be real.

I wasn’t particularly popular at school (it’s ok ex-school mate readers, you can nod in agreement).

I was also clever, but not THAT clever. Average clever. (More nods).

But I wanted to be both. Desperately.

I existed on the periphery of the more elitist social groups. Kind of cool by association but obviously not cool, especially when trying to be cool (emphatic nods – ok you can stop now, I get the point). Occasionally one of the more charismatic members would notice I was there and grant me the privilege of their company for a while. Probably mostly out of pity.

I’m finding blogging a bit like this.

There are the popular blogs. They are shiny and polished. Their followers are dedicated, leaving scores of adoring comments. And there are the clever blogs. With their witty and flawless sentence construction; their outstanding use of metaphor and impressive vocabulary. They entertain us with the flare of (insert clever metaphor #1 here). Some are, quite annoyingly, both popular AND clever.

My blog is neither.

But I find myself wishing it was.

Once again I find myself back in the high school mind-set, that awkward teenager with braces on my teeth and milk-bottle bottom lenses in my glasses. Wondering just what it is that makes these shining beacons of blogginess naturally so much better than me? What makes people flock to them like (insert clever metaphor #2 here)?

But then I remember I’m not in high school anymore. I grew up (well, kind of). The braces are gone. The specs are gone. Ok I’m still awkward and gangly but that’s endearing, or so my husband tells me.

So I’ve decided. I’m not going to try to be popular or clever. Because if the same rules apply as when I was a teenager that will only inevitably mean I end up saying something weird and inappropriate and laughing too loud and everyone will look at me funny.

And I’m going to try not to care.

TOO much.

So I hope you like un-popular and un-clever. Because that’s all you’re going find here. But hopefully I’ll be endearingly awkward and socially inept and you’ll love me in that ‘I’d miss you if you weren’t here to bask in my light’ kinda way.  And if you want to invite me to your party, or share some of your chips over lunch and tell me a secret you haven’t told anyone else? Well that would be good too…

…and by the way I think your shoes are the coolest thing I have ever seen and that boy you like has TOTALLY been looking at you all through Maths.

———–

NOTES:

Possible clever metaphors

#1    a) a thousand glittering iphones.
b) a jewel beetle’s bum.
c) David Cameron

#2    a) a fat kid to cake.
b) Kai to dangerous electrical equipment.
c) Boy racers in pimped-out Renault Clios to a McDonald’s drive-through

Oh I give up.