check Aqualeo out..  this is their hit, “Cadillac Wires”

now the screwed version

Personally I (Bee) think that both are pretty decent…

…We’ve featured the Debarge family on this site before.  Their repertoire comprised of soul, funk, r&b, and later gospel.  Their name was mainly bubblin between 1979 – 1989, as they were the main breadwinners for Motown in the 80’s.  This cut is an instant classic because it’s timeless.  Does this melody sound familiar to you?

…you guessed it.  Biggie used the sample for “One More Chance” featuring then wifey Faith Evans.

…then Mariah used the sample for “Loving You Long Time” featuring T.I.

the original…

one of the remixes…   Nujabes did it.

…bloodstone’s song ” I’m just doing my job” was a true classic. The group’s album arrived on the scenes in 1979 (waaaay back in the day) on the album ‘Don’t Stop.’

…kanye chopped it up and made it a dope track for t.i.. for his album ‘Trap Muzik’

…Jack McDuff was a prominent jazz organist and organ trio bandleader during the hard bop and soul jazz era of the 1960’s.  Above: “Brother” Jack McDuff’s “Oblighetto” Below: Dilla’s spin on Oblighetto …sit back ya’ll

bonus…download: “oblighetto (j dilla remix) by brother jack mcduff“

Check it..  the deal for the “two sides” column is the song, then the remix…   I love it, y’all…

this one screams to be on the outro or interlude for one of my mixtapes…    matter of fact….

Self-talk is defined as the inner thoughts that occur in given situations that help formulate our decisions.  Sometimes our self-talk can lead us to trouble that is unnecessary.  We may not even understand that our self-talk is “getting the better of us”, but it shows itself in true form, stress. If we can manage our self-talk, we can manage our stress; and in turn we can take control of our lives and be more successful.

Here is an example of the control self-talk can have on our lives:

The most sought after advice or counseling is related to relationships.  People worried that their significant other is unfaithful, that they are ignoring them, or that they themselves are not good enough for the person they are with.  Let’s follow the route of self-talk as it formulates and ends with self-damaging effects.

Chris and Aaron went on a date to a restaurant.  Both found one another attractive, funny, down-to-earth, charming, and good company.  Chris called Aaron the following afternoon to say that the time had was “fantastic, and that they should do it again soon.”  Aaron doesn’t call or text Chris back for the entirety of the day.  Chris gets home from work and thinks “its okay, they are probably busy, maybe they didn’t get the message, we’ll see if they call tomorrow; gosh what a great time we had!”

The following day, Chris has a difficult time with a task at work.  Checking the voicemail every so often, there still is no word from Aaron.  Chris decides to tell a co-worker at lunch about Aaron.  Chris goes on and on about the wonderful evening, giving details about the conversations had and the overall impressions.  Chris explains to the co-worker that they left a message yesterday and has not heard from Aaron.  The co-worker at first tells Chris that “They are probably just busy.”  Chris then rebuttals, “Well I am busy too, but I still had time to pick up the phone and call.”  The co-worker responds, “You’re right, maybe they aren’t worth it.”

Chris goes back to work and begins thinking about the last thing the co-worker said; “maybe Aaron isn’t worth it.”  Chris spends the remainder of the day with tasks at work.  On the way home, traffic is terrible and Chris is filled with anger.  Chris starts thinking, “why hasn’t Aaron called, I thought they really liked me, I thought I was smart and funny, but maybe Aaron isn’t worth it; oh but Aaron is, I know Aaron is, but maybe not, or maybe its something I did, maybe there’s something wrong with me?” Chris arrives at home and watches some TV.  The entire night of TV is comprised of a little laughter and then Chris’s self-talk, “I should call Aaron, why not?  I mean, maybe Aaron didn’t get the message, maybe I dialed the wrong number, maybe something happened?  No I really shouldn’t, Aaron will call me.”

By the end of the next work day, Chris is fuming about the fact that Aaron has not called yet.  Chris decides to “write off” Aaron, deleting the phone number from the cellular phone, and thinking, “just ridiculous, I am better than that, Aaron shouldn’t have treated me like that, I thought this might work.  There must be something wrong with me.” When Chris finally receives a call from Aaron, or attempts to go on another date, Chris will ultimately still have recollections of this process, and continue to think damaging thoughts.

Self-talk can be so damaging to our confidence and self-esteem, that we can fall into depression, garner mood swings, and lead to suicide attempts.  Suicidal thoughts occur when the over-bearing self-talk becomes so negative, that there is no positive talk occurring.  Self-talk that is negative can also cause increased anxiety and stress; and can lead to stress induced complications.  Examples of stress induced complications include; weight gain, heartburn, stress headaches or migraines, ulcers, illness, and increased blood pressure.

So how can we harness our self-talk positively and be successful?  It starts with a new attitude.  Everything in life always has two sides.  Some may be the lesser of two evils, but there are two options.  Similarly in Ireland, many have said, “It could be better, could be worse.”  Changing our attitude begins with finding the lesser of the two evils or seeing the positive in each situation.  Take Chris and Aaron for example.  Chris could have used the time worrying about whether Aaron would call, to complete additional work.  Chris could have had a constructive conversation with the co-worker that could have led to a sales lead or networking opportunity.  Chris could have gone home and enjoyed a night alone and watched a great TV series.  Chris could have remembered that life is very busy, can get away from us, and that Chris is worth Aaron’s call back.

Secondly, self-awareness about the negative self-talk in our thoughts, can help maneuver it out of our way.  When a thought occurs that is negative, write it down on a piece of paper.  Next to or below the thought, write a positive thought 3 times.  Repeat the positive thought 3 times, and explore why it is you would think negatively about yourself, and promise that you are going to tell yourself the positive thought next time.

Lastly, realize your own potential.  If Chris had higher self-esteem, the negative self-talk may not have occurred.  If Chris truly thought that the date went well, Chris would not have any doubt that Aaron would call.  Chris would also know that if Aaron didn’t call, there must have been something Aaron didn’t like, but that that is OK; because Chris really likes who they are inside.  Chris would continue to use the opportunity of the date, to grow in interpersonal skills and further enhance conversation for subsequent dates.

Remember that self-talk is difficult to harness.  Realize your potential, be self-aware of the negative thoughts, and find a positive attitude or side in everything.  You can learn to harness your thoughts and be successful.

This is a new feature for the Magazine…   “two sides.” this is where we look at an original track..  then we examine the remix. check out Pharcydes “she said” and immerse yourself…

The snitch language.

What I really found interesting about the one handed sign language was it’s ability to unite people. I know I recently said some not nice things about the sign language, but I am human. I have my moments.

When I was first observing it however, and I could just play the role of the observer, I did not feel that way about it.

First of all I was fascinated, second I was relieved. I knew they were out on the street communicating, at first I had thought they were using the cellphones, and communicating that way, but not all had cellphones and they were still communicating.

When I finally realised that they were using a language similar to what was used in East Germany it was a relief.

Here is a sample of the East Germany Stasi language that was used.

http://www.nthposition.com/stasiland.php

SIGNALS FOR OBSERVATION

1. Watch out! Subject is coming – touch nose with hand or handkerchief

2. Subject is moving on, going further, or overtaking – stroke hair with hand, or raise hat briefly

3. Subject standing still – lay one hand against back, or on stomach

4. Observing Agent wishes to terminate observation because cover threatened – bend and retie shoelaces

5. Subject returning – both hands against back, or on stomach

6. Observing Agent wishes to speak with Team Leader or other Observing Agents – take out briefcase or equivalent and examine contents.

After realising what was happening, it was a matter of confirming the theory with some field testing.

When I could just observe it however and not be the target, it was interesting. There was something very amazing about it. Here we have all this racism, sexism, ageism, religious separation, lack of unity for all these various reasons, and here was something that knew no boundaries.

I watched Black, White, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Eastern European, African, all use this language across boundaries. I watched men, woman, young and old, and there were no boundaries. I mean why do we have this separation in society, if these people can work together?

In learning some aspects of how they were communicating, I was fascinated. People that would never talk to each other on the street were passing information to each other. Goth, the Elderly, the Religious, groups you would never believe would work together, but there they were on the trains, in public, on the platform coordinating, sharing.

It destroyed the myths of this world. The hatred we buy into, why is it even necessary? If we each taught our children sign language or a simplified version of the one handed language from when they are little, there would not be language barriers, because it’s silent you could not use raised voices the same way, hateful words would be more difficult. There might even be more respect, because there would not be this separation.

The other thing that was interesting was that when people realised that I knew some of it, there was the expectation of participation. When someone passed something along, it was almost rude the times I did not respond, because I was in observer mode, and my job was to observe a new a language. To field test at other times, and to just observe.

The other amazing thing was the cultural nuances that were picked up. Depending on which area of the world that people came from some signs were passed in different ways, just slightly, or different mannerisms were used. Some had styles that were amazing. Some I just wanted to stand up and applaud, they were so good at it. In observer mode, I could admire it for it’s true potential, but in target mode, I can only hate it for it’s ability to be used as something to help track me as an animal, which I am not.

I think this would be amazing for the linguist, or the sociologist to study.

Back when I was researching this, I use to want to walk up and give people little medals for doing a good job, and others I had to stop myself from pulling aside and re-educating them. Which is funny. The target having to pull aside the pursuers. I have had to help a few from themselves however. The girl at the grocery store who was so busy watching me, that her child almost impaled themselves. The girl who was so busy trying to pass a signal she almost fell off her bike, no she was fine, but I have had a few moments.

See it’s hard to hate someone when you understand them more. Watching and observing them, gave me a better understanding of them. It made me more sympathetic, because I know not everyone chooses this path. I know not everyone likes this. I learnt a lot, and for that I am grateful. It’s so easy when you are a target to see things in black and white. They are electronically harassing me and Gang Stalking me, well they must all be evil. I have blogged before that is just not the case. In my finer moments I remember that. In my less than finer moments, I verbally lash out and tend to generalise a lot of things, and a lot of people. That’s the part where I am human, and I can’t be sorry for being human.

A lot of this is still very traumatic for me. Realising that there are forces in the world that would seek to hurt me, destroy me. Forces in the world that actually hurt and kill people. Conspiracies that are real. A society that is kept in silence, and in my opinion enslaved by this system. Those things are a shock to the system, and you do not adjust over night, I don’t know that you ever fully adjust.

I go from moments of upset, where it’s just me and my emotions my feelings, I forget that others are also suffering and being forced. It’s much easier to believe that they are willing and enjoying what they are doing to me, to other targets. Some do enjoy it, they think it’s power over another person, those I would like to get alone and talk to. I believe they would be nothing but cowards face to face. Others just don’t know what to do and just go along with it. Others are not really clear about what is happening. Some think it’s another McCarthyism, or maybe it’s just something in their workplace, others believe it’s helping the country.

There are a lot more people being electronically harassed than I would like to believe. When I think about how pervasive this is in society, I can only conclude that this is being used in some ways as a form of slavery, to control people, to teach them how to act. Behaviour modification? Wither you use a whip or electronic harassment it’s the same fu**ing thing.

What I do know is that there are good people in the world, yes it’s hard to say, some of them are part of this civilian spy force, that creeps me out most days. Not the people but the system, but the people are part of the system, and so at times it’s hard to separate the two, and still understand it all. I am so use to things being black and white. Good vs Evil, these grey areas are hard to understand.

Plus it’s like a person in a concentration camp saying not all Germans are bad, which would probably have been a correct statement in Hitlers Germany, but when you are being targeted by a system, you want to have a source where your anger can be directed. You want to have it as Informants are bad and evil, not they are people, some in a bad situation just like the rest of us, many being forced and targeted the same way. Yet many others just going along for the ride and the power trip of it all.

When I do lash out, the last two groups are where the majority of my anger is directed. Those who like this, the sociopaths who are power tripping on this and using this to get off, to hurt people.

Then there are people themselves, people who are as changing as the weather, no that would make the weather look bad to say this. People are so changing, they can be all friendly today, and then tomorrow depending on what the latest gossip is, it’s another story. Do you know what I call those, those are viewers and spectators, tuning in for the latest dirt, the latest gossip, so they can be told if they should like you today or not, who cares, and more importantly who wants to associate with people who have such limited capacity to think for themselves?

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” by Albert Einstein.

I think people like that are at times more dangerous than the ones directly hurting us, and just like dealing with workplace mobbing, I am making decided efforts to avoid such people in the long run, because it is not beneficial.

Back to the language that is used. The ways it’s used now to enslave I can not enjoy, people are unified but not for the sake of something good, like helping the homeless, or feeding the hungry, they are united to destroy the innocent and oddly enough it seems to be one of the few things that humans are good at uniting to do. Just look at Hitlers Germany.

The language they use however has also given me hope? If children learnt sign language, a very simple one from an early age, which it has been shown they can learn, think about the possibilities for a much more unified world? The hate they try to teach us to keep us apart, these two sided hegelian dialect arguments, some of them might be done away with.

http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/

As the observer, I could appreciate and be fascinated by the language they use, and even see the potential for good. I saw unity within lines that I know would never be crossed any other way. There is nothing more funny than watching someone pretending to be homeless, passing the language to people that are dressed in suits, it breaks through the rich/poor lines, every line you could think of this language broke through. It’s really fascinating to watch, cultural lines check, gender, age, disabilities, check. If it was not a part of what was being used to pursue the targeted part of me, I could appreciate it, however since it is being used in that capacity, the part of me that likes my survival, hates it, and can not appreciate it for what it is. It’s a conflict, but it’s not hypocrisy.

It’s humanity, my humanity, a part of which really liked the black and white lines, the part that hates grey, the part that likes Good vs Evil and nothing in between. Right from Wrong is much easier this way, but this system blurs those lines, and it’s hard to be on any side, but it’s even harder to try to understand those who unfortunately are on a side that is trying to destroy you.

I think some targets get this, but I am not sure if others do.

I have changed so much. I am anti gun personally, but now I see that guns are a necessity, and people should have the right to own them.

I am deeply against all forms of drugs, but now that I have seen what the informant system is and what it does, I have no choice but to side against it, and to seek the betterment of some informants being used by the system, and to hope that some drugs get decriminalized, because I feel a greater crime is ongoing.

I believe in a multicultural society, but now I see that opposing voices are needed. I see that in a free society you must allow voices of dissent. I don’t have to agree with you, or like what you are saying, but in a free society your voices are needed, and thus some of these extreme websites I might have railed against a decade ago, I do see the need for.

I am still anti smoking, but that’s one of the few things that remains.

The research over the last few years has opened my eyes more to the world that I am living in. I never thought of myself as sheltered, I would read up on issues, and care about causes most avoided, but the true nature of the world I had no idea. It’s like what Gary Webb said about thinking that he was winning awards, because he was going out and getting the stories, how he thought he was doing everything right, but it was really that he had never done anything controversial.

http://gangstalkingworld.com/Forum/YaBB.pl?num=1230244889

[quote]Indeed, some of the writers in Buzzsaw say that, before their own experiences, they were among the scoffers. Webb writes, “If we had met five years ago, you wouldn’t have found a more staunch defender of the newspaper industry than me … I was winning awards, getting raises, lecturing college classes, appearing on TV shows, and judging journalism contests. So how could I possibly agree with people like Noam Chomsky and Ben Bagdikian, who were claiming the system didn’t work, that it was steered by powerful special interests and corporations, and existed to protect the power elite?”

But, like most of the contributors to “Into the Buzzsaw,” he did his job too well and the powers that be hurled him onto the other side of the looking glass. “And then I wrote some stories that made me realize how sadly misplaced my bliss had been,” he writes. “The reason I’d enjoyed such smooth sailing for so long hadn’t been, as I’d assumed, because I was careful and diligent and good at my job … The truth was that, in all those years, I hadn’t written anything important enough to suppress.”[/quote]

Many of us are like this, we don’t think of ourselves as controversial, but if you are the type to stand up for your rights, the rights of others, assert your voice, or you just stand out for the right reasons or even for the wrong one’s you could be a target.

You don’t think of the world this way, neither did I and that is why this place of understanding is such a journey. It does not happen overnight, I am not sure it ever happens, some days are easier than others, but there is still a part that is so sad that the world is like this, you just have to be patient with that side, love and nurture that side, and take it day by day. I really do believe that praying helps. It’s one of our best defenses and weapons.

Not much else. You are getting a weeks worth of posts all at once so enjoy them.

In an airline safety announcement: “There are emergency exits on each side of the aircraft …” Should be: either

Johnny Cash – Personal Jesus by Ivan Ulmann

This sedoka was written for One Single Impression Prompt #20: Myth. Enjoy.

-Nicole
———————————————–
side one: tall, weathered
a black-clad clarion call
notorious sinner singer

side two: gentle, wise
examining the world around
him for fingerprints of God

Written 7/12/08
&copy 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.

Stumble It!

Two Words…

Two words, meaning one…forever

Today I was watching a wedding show with my mother. I think it’s called Platinum Weddings. I started watching on a part where one of the couples was talking about how the rings represent the marriage itself. the outside band of the ring may get scratched and scarred but the inside band will always be clean and shiny, just like new. I think it was explaining that love has two sides. It can make you hurt and have a few marks you would rather not show, but then turn it over and see the other side of things and you realize that it’s all good and fun; surprisingly showing you that things could be okay in the end.

Kind of ironic that a ring is circular and everyone says that life is a never ending circle. 

                                           Is it a sign?

This writer is generally nice. On most days, she feels the joy of breathing, the exuberant touch of a loved one and watching the changes as the world twirls on its axis. Most of her interactions with people are pleasant and she can be very humorous at times. During these times, she could compose the sweetest sonnets and write about the rainbows and the chirping bluebirds. Laughter envelops her and she smiles to show that dimple on her left cheek.

However, this writer can be very irritable. A simple issue can trigger her temper and anyone who crosses her path can bear witness to that distinct pout and scowling face. She blames the irks that she meets when she goes for her regular walks around Manhattan. The extent of her callousness stretch to her own writings. She would write the darkest, most sinister and depressing piece and still feel alright. When this happens, this woman is really having a bad hair day.

This is not to discourage you, my dear reader. The circumstances I gave could let you picture me as Harvey Dent / Two Face who gives Batman tons of headache. My goal is to share with you what irks intermittently and I am sure one or two of these things can push the Hyde button in you. Hypocrisy to be all sugar and spice, everything is nice has no space in my closet. I am what I am and you are what you are. Beneath that humane demeanor of yours is a little ogre who just wants to stick out the middle finger out of anger and frustration.

In public restrooms, as a woman, it really bugs me when I get to use those automatic flush toilets. I am not yet done and a slight movement activates the damn button. Talk about mist with millions of bacteria clinging to the back of my shirt and pocket book. I have to restrain myself not to kick the life out of this technology.

The subway is teeming with people trying to find space as small as our apartments. Still, there are people who are just oblivious when your lungs are popping out. Rush hours are part of survival but when someone bobs their head to the rhythm of a silent beat is enough to curse thy own predicament. In addition, am I the only one (who is part of the Ipod nation) who wants to strangle a person when the song in his MP3 player blasts tower of Babylon- decibels until the Stratosphere? Whether the song is by Chris Brown or Coldplay, eventually I would be going Viva La Vida Loca!

The dollar has reached lowest value nowadays. The increase in gas prices has affected us all in many ways. I cannot wait until election time; perhaps we can see a better economic status. On a side note, tourists from all over the world are swarming like locusts to take advantage of their purchasing power. Not only can they afford luxurious hotel accommodations; they flaunt their Euro, Yen, Pound, Lira and other currencies. I am a consumer myself and I understand the thrill of buying. What irks me is the haughty and rude manner that certain visitors exhibit. Let me exemplify, yesterday while I was lining up to pay for my shirt; a couple obviously tourists (with their big backpacks reaching their behind) cut me off. I had to squeeze myself back in line but to no avail, the man just had to flaunt his peacock feathers. If it was the colloseum in the time of Caesar, I would have used my inner Retiarius and brought out my trident. I just had to bite my tongue and the hapless fate of my dollar. I had to vent it out on the cashier who fortunately shared my sentiment. We both wish this type of tourists would get lost in the city via the complex train schedule.

I hate my sense of smell. My nose is great when I taste my favorite Pinkberry yogurt and when I try out the perfume samples at Bloomingdales. Inspite of this useful sense, it does not have a mechanism to shut off unwanted odors. Call me boorish, I can tolerate the smell of garbage, the decaying carcass of a rat, stuffy smell of the station but I can never, ever tolerate the smell of body odor. Rasputin- like odor that is worst than toxic chemicals in our ozone layer. I would totally understand if the person has a medical issue concerning neurons of the brain but I could never forgive normal people who smell so bad. I do not care if it is a philosophical statement for a greener world but take your stinking body to the shower. When this happens, I am as transparent as glass. I have to say outright, “It stinks here!” I am callous but I make it a point take a bath twice a day. People stare when I do this especially the culprits but take a shower first before we engage in combat. Gladiators in the olden days bathe before a match. Hail soap and water!

These are the “tamed” irks that get to me when I am having a bad hair day. Many of us run a busy life that we become immune to our emotions. I therefore conclude that it is normal to be angry, irritable, rude and callous when needed be. Otherwise where is the sense of irony and balance in this world?

A reader contacted me today after having difficulty locating an Edge review of mine from March. She was looking over a follow-up post concerning my review of a book entitled Straight Acting, after being approached by a friend on the issue of her gay friend who loathes himself because he’s super feminine.

So I did some digging and, after not being able to locate the review either, I decided to post it here for her. Gender identity seems to be the hot topic right now; from transgender workplace discrimination issues to Barbara Walters specials on how families cope with their trans-minded children at alarmingly young ages, to men who were once women having babies, it’s tough to know for sure what notion will be left standing once the music stops. It’s one thing to be born in the wrong body. But how does identity become such an issue if the individual feels right at home with his or her biological gender?

THIS ADDED 07/03 3:19PM EST: After seeing a considerable amount of traffic from and to trans sites, I thought it might be helpful to say that this review/discussion is not specifically geared toward trans issues, but gender issues, which I feel encompass a great deal of topics within the LGBT community. It’s important that educators convey the correct message here, regarding gender expression.

For gay men, saying “to be masculine is wrong” and “embrace your feminine side” are not enough. The idea is to love and respect who you are, whether you are gay or straight. It’s important to lose the fear of embracing diversity (no matter how different someone appears to be). The tragedy of Lawrence King is a clear illustration of how ignorance can easily lead to death. But the last thing we need is for self-respecting gay men who positively identify as masculine to experience reverse discrimination for the sake of wanting to right a wrong. If you are masculine, be masculine. If you are feminine, be feminine. If you are a mixture of both, be both. Do what feels right. Let (gay or straight) society get over it.

So in the meantime TRS, here’s my review of Angelo Pezzote’s Straight Acting:

There’s no question that what Angelo Pezzote says is rooted in a genuine desire to help homosexuals everywhere find love and acceptance, all the while dodging the depression and insecurity that stem from inevitable dystopian social pressures. But by the second chapter of Straight Acting, a seasoned reader might go so far as to say that certain passages seem trite, even condescending.

For instance, the metaphors: he states that “as gay men, we can use our fortitude resourcefulness and determination as a super glue that sticks us together, rather than treating each other badly, which is a bomb that blows us apart,” and asks us on the book’s back cover if we’re “fed up with the fact that men have a shorter shelf life than sushi.” He speaks of the “sly Gay Shame Monster” that creeps up, and in one ridiculous passage tries to make us feel better by citing a long term relationship between two male flamingos in England. Granted, in casual conversation one might often indulge by giving examples of how homosexual behavior exists in the animal kingdom, but examples like this don’t belong in a book that claims to be one step ahead of the “I wonder if it’s ok to be gay?” argument.

But beyond the nursery rhymes and tired anecdotes lives a somewhat major inconsistency.

On the one hand, Pezzote makes the point that “sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation are separate,” reminding us that “having same-sex fantasies doesn’t mean you’re gay,” I tend to agree, as do many experts in the field (enter the Kinsey Scale). yet on the other hand he suggests that men who put out sex ads for other men are gay, “even if it’s just a little,” simply because they might lust for other men. What makes this difficult to comprehend, especially for the lay reader approaching the subject from a fresh vantage point, is the fact that labels are being interchanged like outfits before a dinner party; trying them on for size, so to speak, is something you do before you write the book. In other words, it’s not advisable for an author to interject hypothetical (and personal, perhaps) notions of sexuality when it’s that author’s job to present the facts. What if my fantasy is to put out a man-for-man sex ad but not actually have the sex? Does that make me gay? Or just “curious”? What if I lust for a woman I see dancing in a burlesque show? Does that make me straight? And so on…

On a positive note, Pezzote’s point that the overbearing and contrived masculinity of some gay men that comes from self-loathing or insecurity can be self-destructive and hurtful towards others is well taken. However, what Straight Acting lacks is a clear thesis; we’re left guessing who exactly the target audience is. Take the fact that not all masculine gay men act the way they do out of fear or a need to overcompensate. To hypothesize so would be to contradict the book’s major claims, indeed the cornerstones of Pezzote’s research and practice.

It seems as if most of Straight Acting, and perhaps the bulk of Pezzote’s columns, are geared toward the self-loathing homosexual; the effeminate-at-heart who destructively seeks to be masculine and the effeminate gay man who feels inferior or ugly because of his flamboyant tendencies. Yet, he preaches to a wide audience and in doing so, threatens to flip the prejudice on those gays who in fact positively identify as masculine. After all, being masculine is not any more wrong or misplaced for a gay male than is being effeminate, regardless of the current patriarchal societal trend, a viewpoint blurred as he suggests to “lower our shields of masculinity.”

On the flip side, in what is perhaps the most cohesive section of the book, Pezzote returns to his roots (or at least what appears to be his strongest suit), as an advice columnist by providing several lists designed to help us find true love, engage in safe sex, spot a player, and retain one’s love once he’s found him. In addition, he includes many real life responses to questions he’s been asked that pertain to the subject at hand.

When it all boils down, Angelo Pezzote may not read like Shakespeare, but he does have the credentials necessary to communicate with his target audience. What puts this selection in self-help limbo is the fact that it reads like one long disoriented column piece, and in doing so, loses us before we’re interested in getting to the meat of the matter.

Questions? Get in touch!

Agency: Unknown Client: BBC NEWS

Every Biblical issue seems to have at least two reasonable ways of looking at the matter, and our theological positions explain these respective views to perfection. These positions are satisfying until one delves into the opposite position with the same open mind. Very few can actually do that—be able to look at another theological position with an objective and unbiased mind.

For instance, I have had the blessed ‘misfortune’ of looking at the book of Revelation without bias. I haven’t still recovered, and yet, praise God, I have only been refreshed by the book whichever way I looked at it. God, I trust, will show me what is necessary when I need to know it, and so I’ll keep persevering with the book till I know which way to go.

Whether it is the ‘Arminianism Vs-Calvinism’ debate or the ‘Dispensational Theology Vs Covenantal Theology’ debate, while I do have my leanings, I suspect things are not as bad in the other camp as is sometimes made out to be. Conversely, we do not see the problems in our own camp that others may see clearly from a distance.

Do these confusions have to be so complete and divisive like the confusion at the time of the Tower of Babel, that offered no handle for groups to be understood. God willed that man, because of sin, should separate out into the four corners of the earth? Could it perhaps be God’s will, through the peace made in Christ, that we strive for unity rather than be satisfied with growing quietly within the safe confines of our various camps and clusters of churches. If Anne Sullivan could get through to a blind, deaf, and mute Hellen Keller, surely, with patience, we can break at least some barriers. But for this, we would need to think afresh, while taking care not to stray from orthodox New Testament Christianity.

To reason the way I am doing is to walk alone. I suspect that many godly people, from every godly camp, walk along this lonely thought path for as much distance as their experience and courage will allow, and then give up. They may not give up in despair but rather realising that heaven will easier and instantly render all true camps as one. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but on that day, lit up by the Son, we shall be face to face with the truth and meet our hidden brethren under happier circumstances.

Nothing short of a miracle can bring us all together this side of heaven. Anything less, would just end up stirring the murky waters and agitating and discouraging believers who were going about their quiet business hitherto. Looking at it this way, one realises that it is better to let sleeping dogs lie, until the day of our blessed transformation.

But the heart yearns to connect with others who have thought along similar lines. Perhaps only those who have had intimate godly interactions with people in churches belonging to other camps can even hope to look at matters without bias.