Observe and Report | Jody Hill, 2009

I’m a bit iffy on black comedies. Comedy is my favorite genre, but when it comes to black comedies…I don’t know. There are some I like, like In Bruges where it is clear that it is a comedy taking on some very dark issues, but there are some, like this one, where I just don’t see why it is called a comedy, therefore my expectations are not met, and I just don’t enjoy the movie very much.

Observe and Report is the story of Ronnie (Seth Rogen) a mall security guard who takes his job way too seriously. One day a flasher starts to attack women in the mall’s parking lot. Among those women is Brandi (Anna Faris), a woman who works in the cosmetics department and who is Ronnie’s love interest. After that incident the police gets involved, and that does not please Ronnie, so he decides to get that flasher no matter what it takes. There are also some subplots about Ronnie trying to join the police academy, his talking to a girl who works in a food stand.

My biggest problem with this film is that it is called a comedy. Yes, there are some wacky characters and quirky dialogue, but the things that the main character is going through kind of makes the comedy caused by those aspects obsolete. Also, I didn’t find Rogen’s potrayal of the character believable. I think he can be capable of playing a more dramatic character (I am excited for The Green Hornet), but here his performance seemed off.

I did like Anna Faris’ performance. I have always believed that with a proper script and the proper direction, she could be a really great actress. While the script here doesn’t deliver, the director surely does.

Overall, this movie is not that bad, but it is not quite what I expected. I was keen on giving a flat out pan, but the ending makes almost everything better.

The Circle is a film directed by Iranian Jafar Panahi, which tells the story of women in Iran. It does this by following multiple women and showing what they go through on a daily basis, such as not being able to travel on their own, requiring male permission to receive an abortion and so forth.

poster for The Circle

There isn’t a central plot; this isn’t like Pulp Fiction where you follow numerous characters who are all directly tied together. Each character has her own story, which typically does not mesh with those of the other characters. The new grandmother discovering that her grandchild is a female, the two prisoners trying to return home without being detained again, the mother trying to abandon her daughter so the latter can have a better life – these things are typically independent of each other, but all following the underlying theme of women in Iran.

This movie’s difficulties comes not from the idea of the director – indeed, the decision to detail the problems of females in this country is one of the ballsiest decisions I’ve ever seen put on film – but the lack of connection with the protagonists. You don’t discover why Arezou and Nagress were imprisoned, you don’t discover why they can’t contact their family for an easy path home – you basically know nothing about them. Developing sympathy for their situation is made difficult due to a lack of a background.

The film does do a good job of not being preachy; Panahi is content to let you observe the events depicted and come to your own conclusions. Naturally, it’s desired that you should decide that the characters in the film are in an uneviable and terrible position, but there is no moral via sledgehammer in this film. This is probably the best aspect of this film, in that it treats an adult situation in an adult manner.

An ambitious film, this work doesn’t achieve everything that it could have. Undoubtedly, the fact that this was made in a country as known for oppression as Iran plays a definite role in that issue, but that doesn’t change the fact that this movie was quite flawed. I’m in the unfortunate position of loving the statement, but not really caring for the film itself. Two stars out of five – mild recommendation to avoid.

I saw this last night with my brother. I was looking forward to it. I had read quite a few reviews demeaning the toilet humour, so I knew what I was getting into, but I didn’t know it would be this.

Now, I’m all for toilet humour, but when you have Jack Black (the hilarious Tenacious D Pick of Destiny comes to mind), Michael Cera (has some of the best lines in the film) and Harold Ramis (HAROLD RAMIS!) you don’t expect, necessarily, to see someone eating poo and someone pissing on himself. The only funny bit about either of those was Michael Cera, who is upside down (for no explained reason) needs to go to the toilet and urinates on his head, but keeps the whole thing going that his hair smells like urine. The punchline was funnier than the actual punch. But, when you have toilet humour, do it well and creatively. Look to a scene in Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make A Porno for a hilarious poop scene that is actually funny.

The editing was the thing that hurt this. Things weren’t explained, the snake at the beginning of the film continually kept changing positions miraculously, when they were in danger, it cuts to the next scene and they’re fine. There was no fluidity to it at all.

Characters were written horribly. Michael Cera and Jack Black are a great duo, but the script doesn’t help. If they were put in another, funnier, film, I’d see it for sure, they bounce off well, I think. But the character motivations, king’s adviser in Sodom puts the crown on, then puts it down and runs away.

What? Cain kills his brother, keeps ratting Zed and Oh out and then keeps helping them and then keeps ratting them out.

What? David Cross is wholly unlikeable in this. I absolutely hated his portrayal of Cain and every single joke of his was not funny. I’m sitting going “And you’re a comedian?” because he wasn’t making me laugh. Paul Rudd, who plays Able, got more laughs from me than Cain who is in the whole film, unfortunately, and Able is a serious character who never makes a joke.

See what I mean? Again, I don’t mind toilet humour, but jokes like “I want you to enter the Holy of Holies” and “I want you to sit of the Poly of Polies” works because of the Holy Temple and the sexual connotations it revolves around, but unfortunately, they beat that to death in the trailers, so there is no laughs.

Everyone in my theatre laughed at different things, even my brother and I laughed at different things which tells me they never really settled on a specific demographic for the film, which seems logical to me as this is a toilet-humour centric Biblical epic. It’s like trying to make apple juice out of oranges, it never worked.

The good things: Oliver Platt was fantastic. They could make a film all about his character and it would be a reprieve for the filmmakers as Oliver completely and utterly had fun portraying the High Priest. His accent was hilarious and I love his line “I see a happy face, and that makes me happy!” Another good thing was Olivia Wilde, she was beautiful as the queen of Sodom, and has a great British accent. And keep your eyes peeled (if you see this) for Kyle Gass, the significant (I don’t say that lightly) other of Tenacious D as a creepy eunuch. So not all is lost in this fire.

It was all over the place, everything, the characters, the writing, the plot (if there was one) everything. This was a true attraction only because of the name star power. It wasn’t well thought out film at all, and an hour into it I truly believed this was a bigger-budgeted and SLIGHTLY better version of the horrifically ridiculous “Meet The Spartans”, it’s in that style, but somehow better quality. If this is a sign of things to come for Ghostbusters 3, we’re going to be in trouble. I sincerely hope it isn’t.

All in all, there is an audience for this. A thin audience – either Jewish people – as a lot of this film is Jew-centric – or religious fourteen year olds. I am neither of those. I truly and utterly wanted to like this film having moderately high expectations despite the toilet humour news, but coming out of the cinema, I felt let down and as if I had found a girl at a party, made sexy-time, woke up the next morning and she’d gone. I’d felt used and I paid $10 to get used.

Just know what you’re getting into, but, like me, that might not help at all.

The really thrilling cover image is what attracted me to Need–I anticipated some creepy sexiness, some dense forests, some pale women with glittery lips.  I’d even heard that your book was like Twilight, but with pixies instead of vampires.  What I didn’t realize was that it was going to be almost exactly like Twilight but with pixies instead of vampires.  I have to say, I was excited at first because the Twilight books fulfilled a sort of 14-year-old craving in me even though I found them poorly written, and you started off with slightly better prose but a very similar setup.  Unfortunately, better-than-Meyer prose wasn’t enough to keep this from being like a cover of a song–changed just enough to differentiate it from the source, but it’s still the same old song that everybody’s heard too many times already.  The characters were quite flat, the pacing of the plot was uneven and the revelation of info was too fast.  The danger didn’t feel dangerous, and the romance wasn’t romantic.  Too many elements seemed lifted directly out of Twilight–the girl moving to the small forested town with bad weather, the budding romance with the boy in the really nice car who protects her and whose skin is too hot, the pixies who drink blood, run fast, have pointy teeth and live in a mansion in the woods…even her arm getting broken by a pixie captor.  It started to get old pretty fast.  I also found the ending unsatisfying–it didn’t actually feel finished to me, and I was shocked when I realized there wasn’t any more text.  The weird thing is that if your flap copy is to be believed, then some of your other writing has had good recognition–so I’m going to assume that this book is just a fluke, churned out too fast in the hopes of jumping on the mythological creatures bandwagon.  Sorry–two stars.

Love,

Wanna check out this title for yourself?  Try the Indie Bound or ABC bookstore finders!

Yoga slut SCARLETT JOHANNSSEN meets married music mogul BRADLEY COOPER at a convenience store.

BRADLEY COOPER
Call me, I’ll help you with your “career.”

DREW BARRYMORE
(while being romantically rejected on MySpace, Facebook, text message and e-mail all at once)
Do it, SCARLETT JOHANSSEN! He’s married but he could still be your soul mate!

SCARLETT JOHANSSEN, while totally leading on her lovesick friend KEVIN CONNOLLY, strikes up an affair with BRADLEY COOPER but ends it when he stuffs her half-dressed form into a nearby closet so he can screw wifey JENNIFER CONNELLY in his office.

SCARLETT JOHANNSEN
You dog! You dirty, dirty dog! Never talk to me again!

JENNIFER CONNELLY later a pack of smokes in BRADLEY COOPER’s pants pockets after he told her multiple times he quit smoking.

JENNIFER CONNELLY
You dog! You dirty, dirty dog! Get out of my life!

Meanwhile, JENNIFER ANISTON breaks up with boyfriend BEN AFFLECK.

JENNIFER ANISTON
You dog! You dirty, dirty dog! We’ve been together for six years and you still refuse to marry me!

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON
Ahh! JENNIFER ANISTON, I’m your father and I’m having a heart attack! Care for me while your sisters’ husbands lounge around my house being total fucking pigs and wait for me to die.

BEN AFFLECK
Here, honey, I’ll do the dishes for you.

JENNIFER ANISTON
Oh, BEN AFFLECK, you’re perfect! So perfect that I’ll give up my dream of ever getting married just to be with you!

BEN AFFLECK
And I shall reward your noble sacrifice by giving you this engagement ring!

Meanwhile, psychotically and embarrassingly desperate GINNIFER GOODWIN is pouncing on anything that has a penis and a pulse until bartender JUSTIN LONG stops her.

JUSTIN LONG
Can’t you see that these clowns just aren’t that into you? If they’re not calling you, sleeping with you, asking you out, marrying you, or putting the toilet seat down when you ask, give it up. Those are the rules, and you aren’t the exception!

GINNIFER GOODWIN
(after spending the evening of JUSTIN LONG’s party cleaning up everything)
But you’re doing most of those things – you must want me!

JUSTIN LONG
(while trying to hit on some other bimbo)
No way! You misread me.

GINNIFER GOODWIN
You dog! You dirty, dirty dog! I’ll now deliver a speech about searching for relationships and going after what you want that’s supposed to be withering and poignant to you but instead it comes completely from left field and doesn’t even apply to you, even though we’re led to believe that it is.

JUSTIN LONG
Wait! I suddenly want you, despite that whenever we’ve been together, you’ve been whining about how to get some other guy in the sack and I’ve seen no other side to your needy personality.

GINNIFER GOODWIN
Yay! I’m the exception to the rules after all! What a great way to negate the book and movie’s purpose – now girls can leave the theater still relying on their same idiotic hopes!

DREW BARRYMORE cancels her MySpace account in order to date KEVIN CONNOLLY, GINNIFER GOODWIN and JUSTIN LONG play video games, JENNIFER ANISTON and BEN AFFLECK get married on a boat, JENNIFER CONNELLY moves into her own apartment, and SCARLETT JOHANSSEN and BRADLEY COOPER remain single like the dirty, dirty dogs they are. Fin.

Street dancer COLUMBUS SHORT watches his brother die of a gunshot wound post-dance contest in a very “West Side Story” fashion. After being arrested for assault, COLUMBUS SHORT decides to make something of his life.

COLUMBUS SHORT
I’ll live out my brother’s dream by going to college, getting the girl, and become the best stepper in all the land.

COLUMBUS SHORT does just that by becoming BFFs with NE-YO, joining a frat, and falling for MEAGAN GOOD, who has a boyfriend — DARRIN HENSON – in a rival frat who does not appreciate that last bit. DARRIN HENSON gets dumped and digs up COLUMBUS SHORT’s sordid past in order to get him kicked out of school. Things look bleak for COLUMBUS SHORT but MEAGAN GOOD pulls a few strings – considering her daddy’s on the board of directors – and COLUMBUS SHORT and his frat totally stomp DARRIN HENSON’s frat in a stepping competition. Fin.

(Note: Please insert singing and dancing at random times to achieve the full Bollywood affect.)

Arrogant talk show host ARJUN RAMPAL finds VIPASHA AGARWAL chillin’ on his balcony.

ARJUN RAMPAL
Um, intruder, please get to steppin’.

VIPASHA AGARWAL
But I’m not an intruder! I’m a doctor who witnessed organ trafficking and was put into a coma thanks to a contrived car accident and now you’re the only person who can see my spirit! Now you must help me!

ARJUN RAMPAL’s friends all think he’s gone insane, especially when he steals VIPASHA AGAWAL’s body from the hospital with ease to care for her at home. But the OVERACTING DETECTIVE, who actually wears a Sherlock Holmes hat and smokes a pipe, cracks the whole case, somehow. VIPASHA AGARWAL wakes up from her coma and has no idea who the eff ARJUN RAMPAL is. ARJUN RAMPAL vows to make her love him by eating noodles with his fingers instead of chopsticks. Fin.

Ship stewardess KATE HUDSON divorces inept treasure hunter MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY for being nothing more than an inept treasure hunter who also blows up her boat and borrows money from Kayne West-lookalike gangster KEVIN HART.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
I know – I’ll woo KATE HUDSON back to me by dragging her on a treasure hunt!

KATE HUDSON and MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, with the help of millionaire DONALD SUTHERLAND and DONALD SUTHERLAND’s bimbette of a daughter ALEXIS DZIENA, search for the Queen’s Dowry, a Spanish treasure thought lost in the 1700s. KEVIN HART has nothing else to do but stalk them and try to kill them. KATE HUDSON makes approximately the same number of references to MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY’s amazing virility as times MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY gets bonked on the head/punched in the face/etc. KATE HUDSON and MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY find the treasure in a cave’s “blowhole” and manage to crash/land a plane in the sea without dying.

KATE HUDSON
Even though we fight all the time and it’s by no means endearing at all and I’ve done nothing this whole movie but insist that we got married only for the sex, this must be true love after all!

KATE HUDSON remarries MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY’s face winds up with exactly zero scars, and everyone gets really tan. Fin.

Sports agent/emotional cripple TOM CRUISE starts his own agency after his former protégé JAY MOHR fires him for speaking out about dishonesty in the sports biz. Now out on his own, TOM CRUISE has only one client: Arizona Cardinals’ wide receiver CUBA GOODING JR.

CUBA GOODING JR.
Show me the money!

TOM CRUISE is supported by secretary RENEE ZELLWEGER, single mom of precocious JONATHAN LIPNICKI.

JONATHAN LIPNICKI
Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

TOM CRUISE and RENEE ZELLWEGER wind up married yet estranged due to TOM CRUISE’s aforementioned emotional retardation. But when CUBA GOODING JR. nearly dies in a football game (and then starts leaping around and dancing and climbing over everything like nothing ever happened), TOM CRUISE suddenly finds the words he needs to say to RENEE ZELLWEGER.

TOM CRUISE
You complete me.

RENEE ZELLWEGER
You had me at “hello!”

TOM CRUISE’s heart grows two sizes that day and he makes CUBA GOODING JR. millions of dollars. Fin.

Home-schooled and half-witted brothers WILL ARNETT and WILL FORTE decide to repay their comatose father LEE MAJOR’s kindness to them by giving him a grandson. After several awkward antics, they find that craigslist is the answer to their prayers when finding surrogate mother KRISTEN WIIG.

KRISTEN WIIG
I’ll do it for $12K while my hulking, African-American boyfriend lurks around and makes everyone uncomfortable with his accusations of racism.

Even though WILL ARNETT and WILL FORTE baby proof their apartment with locks on locks and massive air mattresses, KRISTIN WIIG wants to keep the baby and runs away. WILL ARNETT and WILL FORTE win her back with a 15-minute message delivered via banner in the sky. When KRISTEN WIIG gives birth, the baby turns out black. The now-expanded family opens up their own baby-proofing business. LEE MAJORS wakes up from his coma and everyone cheers. Fin.

Computer nerd ASHTON KUTCHER screws wild child AMANDA PEET in an airplane bathroom after she’d been recently dumped.

ASHTON KUTCHER
Call me in six-seven years and you’ll see what a success I am!

A few years later, AMANDA PEET calls ASHTON KUTCHER in Los Angeles because she just got dumped again and needs a date for New Year’s.

ASHTON KUTCHER
Too bad I’m moving to San Francisco tomorrow. Here’s my camera as a consolation prize.

A couple years later, diaper-selling tycoon ASHTON KUTCHER gets dumped and photographer-of-blurry-shit AMANDA PEET takes him on a road trip, where they rub up nude against each other in the moonlight for the camera.

ASHTON KUTCHER
Er… I need to go concentrate on my diaper career, so I don’t have time for you.

A year later, ASHTON KUTCHER’s business is ruined and he’s stuck living with Mom and Pop, so he goes to AMANDA PEET’s apartment to woo her with a Bon Jovi serenade on his guitar.

AMANDA PEET
Um, remember when you didn’t want me? Multiple times? I’m engaged to JEREMY SISTO now.

Another freaking year later, AMANDA PEET dumps JEREMY SISTO and shows up at ASHTON KUTCHER’s sister TARYN MANNING’s wedding and professes her love.

AMANDA PEET
Even though we’ve only actually hung out a total of four times and haven’t kept in touch in between meetings, we’re obviously meant to be!

ASHTON KUTCHER and AMANDA PEET make out in the street and steal all the thunder away from TARYN MANNING. Fin.

Silhouette with Moon and Stars

Daily Photo

Twilight last night and again tonight should be beautiful.  Look to your Southwest.  There a waxing crescent moon will smile below the shining lights of Jupiter (the brightest) and Venus. Take a few minutes and breathe the cool air and feel the quiet of the evening settle over our part of the planet.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Earth & Sky, my favorite source for nighttime viewing events, talks about these two planets’ conjunction and explains waxing and waning moons if you need to bone up on your astrological vocabulary.

]]> http://dreamscapes.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/moon-sided-by-two-stars/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:25:56 +0000 Princess http://dreamscapes.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/moon-sided-by-two-stars/ http://inspin.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/phoenix-vs-new-orleans/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:51:31 +0000 inspin http://inspin.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/phoenix-vs-new-orleans/

Suns -3 1/2 vs. Hornets

The New Orleans Hornets are eager to prove that 2007-2008 was no fluke. The team won 56 games and is off to a good start this season with a 108-103 opening road victory over Golden State. Meanwhile, the Suns who are not expected to be the Suns of old this season were able to ruin their arch rival San Antonio Spurs home opener with a tough road win 103-98. Tonight the two 1-0 teams will converge in US Airways Center for Phoenix’s home opener.

Last season the Phoenix Suns could not manage a win against the upstart Hornets, who were coming off three straight seasons without a postseason berth, but would eventually win the tough Southwest Division title. Their last meeting was also in Phoenix and was quite a thriller with the Hornets coming out on top 132-130 in double overtime on February 6. The two stars shined as Chris Paul and Steve Nash combined for 74 points and 20 assists.

Paul has continued his exceptional play in 2008 when he netted 21 points and 11 assists in Golden State.  Meanwhile in San Antonio, Phoenix got some revenge that New Orleans may be envious of. The two teams were both eliminated by the Spurs a year ago. Nash scored 13 points and assisted on another 13 as new coach Terry Porter earned a victory in his Suns’ debut. Porter hopes to implement some of the patented Detroit Pistons level defense in the desert. Detroit led the league in scoring last season while Phoenix floundered at the bottom of the NBA in team defense.

Phoenix has had a few slow starts despite winning at least 54 games the last three seasons. They have not started out 2-0 since 2004-05. That season they won 62 games.

InSpin.com

by Kevin Henkes

The blurb on the book:

Spencer thought the house might be haunted.

MItch knew it wasn’t. And he knew why.

The whole time Spencer and Mitch hung out together at Bird Lake that summer, there were secrets keeping them apart.

And maybe a secret knowledge keeping them together, too–together like members of the same tribe. Like friends.

This was a good book. Lots of the emotions were brilliantly portrayed. And yet… I didn’t really fall into this book. It seemed to me like there was too much tell, not enough show, and not enough story. It had one of those not-completely-ended-because-you-know-the-rest endings. The problem was, I didn’t really know.

I think I would have liked this book better had it been simpler and perhaps longer. It seemed to be a book about children to adults, rather than a book about children, to children.

Bird Lake Moon was a nice book, but it wasn’t particularly capturing. I don’t know. It’s a hard book to describe.

by Gennifer Choldenko

author of If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period.

For Antonia MacPherson, lying is natural. But that is only because she is adopted. It doesn’t matter what her mom says; she knows it’s true. Her mom is not her real mom; her dad is not her real dad; her sisters are not her real sisters. The only real one is Pistachio, her dog, who is her real dog.

But when Just Carol takes Ant under her wing, Ant might have to change. Just Carol likes the truth. And she won’t take anything less

I can’t say I was particularly impressed by this book. It had a believable subject, and a believable heroine, and it started well. I think everyone, at least once in their lives, has felt like Ant: a misfit whose parents don’t understand her and prefer their siblings. I believe everyone has probably lied before, and for some of the same reason that Ant lied. I really liked that start, and I liked the ending, too.

But the middle, I had problems with the middle. I hated Ant’s parents. I’m used to reading about parents who are slightly patronizing or difficult, but Ant’s parents weren’t just that. They were frustrating and selfish who seem to want to just ignore her. Especially her mom. I don’t blame Ant for sticking to her ‘real’ parents.

Parents can be frustrating; they can be bad. But I think this was unrealistic. Ant had tried many times to get through to her mother; it seemed to me like if Mrs. MacPherson didn’t believe her daughter or her daughter’s teacher the first times, why would she believe her the last time?

I liked the plot; I liked the idea. But to me, the parents kind of fouled the story. No one likes parents that are as hard as the MacPhersons. Unless Ant was exaggerating without realizing it, I truly doubt this.

I like Ant; I like Harrison, Ant’s best friend, and I like Just Carol, the teacher. I even like Elizabeth and Kate, her sisters. But I couldn’t like Ant’s parents. I suppose I was somewhat reconciled to Ant’s mom eventually, but I definitely did not like Ant’s dad. I like this book; I just think it might be better if shortened with a few confrontations between Ant and her mother cut out.

Free Food for Millionaires is a sprawling novel depicting the life of Casey Han, a first generation Korean immigrant who navigates the choppy waters of the New York investment banking world. Casey is the oldest daughter of Joseph and Leah, whose lives are split between running a large dry cleaner in midtown Manhattan and participating actively in their Catholic church. Through her hard work and good grades, Casey earns a fully-paid scholarship to Princeton, but she struggles to find her identity amongst all the old money. That struggle carries on after graduation as she begins her career.

I would have loved Free Food for Millionaires, if it had ended around the middle, around page 300. I’m a quick read, and I don’t mind a hefty book, but it has to be worth my time. This novel started out with a gripping plot and well-drawn characters, even with the author’s confusing point of view shifts. But the author did not know when to stop. She drew out the story by devoting chapters to minor characters such as Casey’s mom Leah and Casey’s friend Ella.

When I finally reached the end, it was anti-climactic, one of those endings, without giving too much away, that just peter out mid-scene, vaguely hinting at what the future might hold. It seemed that, after watching Casey struggle to make money and have a successful career for close to 600 pages, the author wanted us to conclude that she did not belong in that world and did not deserve love.

I was disappointed by Free Food for Millionaires. I loved getting a a glimpse of the investment banking world and of New York Korean culture. I enjoyed being reminded of the how hard it was to forge my own identity after college. But I wish the story had been tighter, more concise, and ended sooner.

I gave it two stars, because of the first 400 pages.

I give the much-hyped film, Juno two stars.

What I didn’t like:

• I felt the relationship between Juno (Ellen Page) and Bleeker (Michael Cera) could have been better developed. He felt like more of an accessory to the film than a pivotal character.
• The music.
• The dialog sounded very forced at times.
• Its slow pace of the film lacks replay value.
• The relationship between Juno and Mark Loring (Jason Bateman) was kind of creepy.
• All the hype.
• Jennifer Garner’s character.
• Jennifer Garner. (just for Aaron, she really doesn’t bother me, but I do like watching her kick ass much more than play a yuppie)

What I liked:

• Ellen Page
• The film’s handling of a controversial and uncomfortable subject.
• Allison Janney’s character telling off the ultrasound technician.
• The way it ended.
• The title sequence.
• Jason Bateman
• Michael Cera

The movie was definitely worth watching, however this character study lacked a certain depth and intimacy. The characters felt at an arm’s length because of the forced slang-filled dialog and its overall lack of relationship set up. We don’t even know who Juno is and the movie starts with her discovering she’s pregnant. From there a series of anticlimactic events ensue. For an emotionally charged issue this film treats pregnancy as more of an incidental medical condition than the start of a human life. As for the awards it was up for and won, I’m going to extend my humble opinion and say that I don’t think it deserved them.

The film did have some laughs and some nice moments. The performances themselves were also right on and the cast was mostly enjoyable to watch. So, go ahead and pick it up when you’re really bored one Friday night. Just don’t expect it to be the phenomenon it’s advertised to be.

DIANE LANE meets super foxy Frenchman OLIVIER MARTINEZ when she skins her knees waiting for a cab.

OLIVIER MARTINEZ
Come instead to clean up. And to dance with me. And to make sexy sexy love.

Understandably unable to resist herself, DIANE LANE and OLIVIER MARTINEZ share a passionate hump in the apartment building hallway. Meanwhile, DIANE LANE’s husband RICHARD GERE is perturbed.

RICHARD GERE
Hmm. DIANE LANE’s so distant and elusive lately. Maybe that DETECTIVE I hired can find out what’s up.

DETECTIVE
(handing RICHARD GERE some telling photographs he probably doesn’t want to see)
Um, here’s what’s up: namely OLIVIER MARTINEZ.

RICHARD GERE
EEP!

While DIANE LANE cringes, frets, and agonizes over her affair, RICHARD GERE pays a visit to OLIVIER MARTINEZ and bonks him on the head with a snow globe, killing him.

RICHARD GERE
Oh, crap.

RICHARD GERE takes OLIVIER MARTINEZ’s body to the dump. A week later, DIANE LANE finds the DETECTIVE’s photographs and the snow globe and knows that RICHARD GERE knows.

RICHARD GERE
I can turn myself in.

DIANE LANE
No, let’s go park in the middle of the road in front of the police station instead.

They do. Fin.

Okay. Wicked the musical is my most recent obsession. I adore it. So much so that I decided to read Wicked the book, which I’ve attempted to do before, with great lack of success. This time I suffered all the way through it, and still hated it. I can see why some readers like it, I really can, but it was NOT the book for me. Your writing style is drier than a desert, the dialogue is lifeless, and I found all of the characters, even Elphaba, mostly unlikable. Their personalities seemed to change drastically from section to section, and even from chapter to chapter… I never felt like I was reading about the same people I’d been reading about before. There were too many loose ends, also, things that got brought up but never were resolved or heard of again, and things I felt should be important weren’t, while things I couldn’t care less about became featured. The ending was just awful. The one thing I did appreciate was your varied use of the source material–I found that I always agreed with your choice as to whether to draw from the book or from the movie when you were making a reference to existing stories. I’m glad I now know what happens in the book, because it’s very different from the musical, but that’s about as far as I can go with this one.  Sorry, Mr. Maguire…two stars.

Love,

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