There has got to be a joke here ….

(This article claims this picture isn’t what it seems.)

Today on Alphabet City: Kristin Chenoweth and her hunky male Christmas pinup calendar inspires Jon Paul to reveal more of his cross-country travels with Tyra Banks.  Full Episode 5 now available.

Chef and I decided a few years back that if our little dog Frida were ever an animated character that she would be voiced by singer-actress Kristin Chenoweth.  They both share the same sense of perky spirit and sometimes curls, although I imagine  Kristin has a little more drive—we often refer to Frida as the “laziest dog in the world.”

Frida and Kristin, the resemblance is uncanny

So I follow Kristin’s career with considerable Glee (when is she coming back to my favorite show?), even devouring her memoir A Little Bit Wicked.  Of course I’ve already set my DVR for this Saturday’s Lifetime movie “12 Men of Christmas” where Kristin stars as A NEW YORK PUBLICIST casting a male pinup calendar!  Alessandra Stanley in today’s New York Times refers to it as “a watered-down reworking of Jane Austen’s famous comedy of manners (call it ‘Pride & Pectoral’).”  Sign me up!

Remember the literary agent who told me that a publicist wasn’t a familiar figure in people’s lives?  Well, I’m sure Kristin and Lifetime are about to change all that.

But if not, and you’re still wondering what publicists do, I thought I’d give you more of the behind-the-scenes tales of book tour with Tyra Banks.  You’ve seen only a snippet of this story, and if you forgot how I landed the job with the supermodel then you should probably read Episode 4 first.  Then delve into Alphabet City’s Episode 5: The Bodyguard.

As I was reading the chapter this morning, the non-stop cross-country travel reminded me of George Clooney’s character in the new film Up in the Air.  Would the suave Oscar-winning actor be the right choice to play me in the Alphabet City movie?  Nah, I’d probably ask Frida’s permission to let Emmy-winner Kristin Chenoweth step into the role—she may be the wrong sex, but the attitude is all right.

UUHHHH she would mess up a good show, with Natalie on the Bad Girls Club [who is the same girl who tried to clam Chris Brown wanted to marry her SMH]this season there’s going to be a WHOLE lot more drama going one then need be but hell if i care it makes a good show LOL. Anywho heres a clip of the girls on Trya, and all i gotta say is its a damn shame when u gotta be in a different room cause you run your mouth too damn much.

lol 50 walsk around with soooo much cash in his pockets! Just use the black card!

MG

by sylvia 

So we’ve got this Holiday Party coming up on Friday, we’ve got our dresses and our shoes, we’ve got appointments to get our hair did, Bianca has secured a babysitter after so much drama, and we are ready to get our drinkin’ and dancin’ on. 

But I have a problem. 

I don’t know how to wear eye makeup. 

No one ever really taught me how to wear make up, I didn’t really start wearing it until later in high school, and even then, it was just very basic stuff – you know, to look fresh and fun, not to cover up any pimples or anything. 

I never learned how to wear eye makeup, though.  I taught myself the art of mascara or whatever, because my eyes literally disappear into my face without any mascara – literally.  A few years ago, I started experimenting with eyeshadow, but still stuck to the basics. So I’ve got those things covered. 

But because I wear glasses everyday, all the time, I guess I never really tried too hard with the eyeliner.  And I’m probably a good candidate for eyeliner, as my eyes are small and close together (and I have a lazy eye, too…please, boys, form a single line!) 

But when I’ve experimented with it (last night is a good example) I look like a really jacked up drag queen with no makeup skills who has been crying and wearing too much eye makeup.  Think Tammy Faye, but not as classy or sophisticated. 

So for this party, I plan on not wearing my glasses (and subsequently squinting and still not seeing all night) so I want to my eyes to “pop” (thanks again, Tyra), but I plan on wearing some bright red lipstick, so I don’t want to get too bold. 

I thought about getting my makeup done, but I don’t think I’m that kind of person.  Apparently, I’m the type of person that likes to look like a jacked up, poorly-skilled drag queen.  I mean, I really want to learn how to do it myself. 

So I watched some videos last night, and it seems so simple and then I try it and BAM – raccoon eyes. 

Here is an example of an attempt I made: 

Up close, it doesn't look too bad and are those WRINKLES?!?!?!

So am I supposed to apply eyeliner to the upper and lower lashes?  What is this about the water line?  I mean, doesn’t the liner basically just drip off in two seconds because it’s wet? 

Check out that pupil

Here’s a picture of my lipstick, which I’m including because I took a picture.  I’m finding I really enjoy taking pictures of my individual features, vs. looking at the whole thing at once.  I guess it’s the facial version of the belly project.  Maybe by doing this I can learn to love and accept my whole damn face: 

Can you see my moustache?

So, does anyone have any recommendations for making my eyes pop while being seductive and demure, yet not detracting from the bold red lip I am putting out there?  I mean, I want to to do something different than my every day look, but don’t want to look busted.  I still have a few days to practice, so I am open to suggestions! 

Kisses!

i50 Cent’s appearance on Tyra yesterday. 25k  in walk around money ight Fif

Money Snippet

Full Interview

Spotted @ rapradar

Okay so who saw that episode of  “The Tyra Banks Show”  where that girl goes on and talks about how she is going to auction off her virginity? My first thought was “WOW that’s crazy”. Then I really thought about it and I’m like fuck dude I DEFINITELY should have sold mine. Most girls give their virginity up in the most unromantic sleazy ways. Not to bash my friends, but none of them lost their virginity to someone they loved or even cared about. Virginity gets lost during drunken nights of peer pressure, not passionate nights of love-making. I’m not even going to tell you how I lost my virginity, this isn’t suppose to be a sad post. That shit in “The Notebook”  never happens :/

Wait til your 18 and then sell it for some good money. If you’re going to give it up to some young sleezebag anyway, why not  just  give it up to an old sleezebag with money.  Selling your virginity is a very responsible decision. Think about it, your about to go to college your going to have expenses(your parents are going to use your college savings to get the kitchen remodeled) your going to need a car it also would be nice to start-up a nice savings for the FUTURE. I heard that the auction for Natalie Dylan’s virginity is up to 3.8million now……yea I know I feel stupid too. If I could go back in time and sell mine I would, and you can judge me all you want,but I’d do it in a heartbeat. Most parents preach “save it for marriage”. I’m going to preach “save it until your old enough to sell it then save the rest for marriage”.  Judge me!

Tyra

I had a bizarre dream last night.  I was playing Texas Hold’em with Tyra Banks.  After the flop I had four eights.  I limped in with a small bet trying to coax her into making a big bet.  She went all-in, and I quickly called.  The turn and the river followed, and out of nowhere she went from having nothing to having a royal flush, beating my nearly unbeatable hand.

Now if you’ve never played poker, the odds of either of those hands coming up are rather slim.  The odds of them coming up at the same time are astronomical.  Furthermore, Tyra would have been foolish to push all-in at that point in the hand since she didn’t yet have a hand to defend.  That should have been my move, only I was trying to feign weakness to entice her into playing a hand that should have been folded.

But she went all-in and got a once-in-a-lifetime hand, beating my hand in the process.  And then she looked at me like she knew what she was doing, with not a hint of weakness in her smize.

Any amateurish psychological interpretations of this dream would be appreciated.

By Gabriel C. Tyler

The before and after of Sammy Sosa. Photo courtesy of Yazmar.com

Out of nowhere, Sammy Sosa ─ legendary baseball player, hero and media-proclaimed poster child for the Dominican Republic ─ has found his new brighter, whiter face plastered across television screens across the world. Headlines that once praised the baseball player now taunt him and his seemingly new physical appearance: “Is Sammy Sosa the New Michael Jackson?” and “Sammy Sosa Bleached, Sammy Sosa White.” He claims that his lighter skin pigmentation is an accident. A result of a skin revitalization cream that he has been using to reverse the harmful effects that playing baseball in the blistering sun for so long has done to his skin. (To read more into the controversy click here.) Those who have viewed photos of the former baseball player claim that Sosa, like many other celebrities of color, has bleached his skin in an attempt to obtain whiter skin and higher social ranking. No conclusive answers exist yet, so all we can do now is speculate. However, whether Sammy’s new skin complexion is an accident or intentional, one thing stands true: among people of color all across the world, there still exist a great distinction and animosity between light-skinned and dark-skinned individuals.

The importance of skin color in the lives of people of color is one that begins early on in life. From preschool to kindergarten, children soon shift from learning to color in the lines to learning to distinguish between colors. This new awareness leads to children separating themselves into groups based upon their own colors, which then becomes the foundation for discrimination and hatred within people of color. With division comes the idea that one group is different from another and in those differences dwell the idea of inferiority and superiority among groups. It seems to be the proclivity of human beings to separate themselves into groups based upon similarities and differences. On a larger scale, these divisions are created between races and classes. However, this idea of division has deep roots in the African-American community ─ some individuals place great emphasis on skin pigmentation, so much so that it becomes a way to evaluate one’s worth.

Even I, as a child and still as a young adult have had to confront issues with my skin color. Everyday I strive to not be pigeonholed by my complexion. Being the youngest of two boys, it’s not unusual for me to be compared to my older brother. He was always referred to as “light,” “fine” and “a looker,” while I faked smiles at being called a “handsome brown boy.” I never fully understood why the words “brown boy” had to be attached to me like a nickname ─ it is apparent to me that my skin is brown but it is not my title. As a young child, I stared at my ceiling many nights, angry at a God who would make me this “brown boy.” I often asked God to make me lighter. Obviously, I never got my request. I just grew into a “brown young man.” The battle with being comfortable with skin complexion is nothing new, especially for those in the black community.

Social drugs pumped into the minds of people of color over time have intensified the division between those of different skin complexions. From the plantation to the Jim Crow era, blacks have fallen prey to the idea that the whiter the skin, the greater the opportunities. A culture raped by white blood lines birthed children of various skin tones. Those children, as a result of vicious cycle such as slavery, argued that the brightness of their skin entitled them to inherit the privileges of white men and women. Individuals began to marry into lighter-pigmented families to produce children with lighter skin, and just like that, “light, bright and damn near white” became the ideal for obtaining great social status.

Another large part of this skin whitening process is bleaching, or chemically removing the color from the skin using creams and even lemons turned into bleaching agents by the sunlight. It can be a harmful process for an individual’s skin ─ bleaching agents containing hydroquinone kills off the melanin-making cells, melanolyte, while bleaching agents containing mercury (ammoniated mercury or mercrous chloride) have been scientifically proven to cause mercury poisoning in excess. The bleaching process shows how deeply ingrained the quest for whiter skin is in people of color. People are willing to risk their health for an external appearance. It is as if white skin is so great to certain individuals that bleaching turns into an addiction.

The media perpetuates the ideal of having lighter skin among blacks. The Los Angeles Times did a piece, entitled “The Beyoncé ad and skin bleaching,” about the controversy with Beyoncé’s L’Oreal ads, which feature her with lighter skin than she actually has. For years, people pointed fingers at celebrities, such as Michael Jackson and Lil’ Kim who have apparently had unnatural skin transformations. Womeninquire.com offers women of color the “secret to lighter skin,” claiming that stars, such as Rihanna, Halle Berry, Beyoncé, Amerie and Thandie Newton get whiter skin from their products. An episode of the Tyra Banks show entitled, “Black Women & Their Children Bleaching Their Skin” showed how ingrained the idea of having a lighter complexion still is in the African-American community. Women were not only bleaching themselves, but their children, claiming that “their children would be better, if they were lighter.” It becomes evident that many have sacrificed their mental and emotional well-being for lighter skin ─ it seems the minds of many people of color have been poisoned.

An already fair-skinned Beyoncé next to the controversial lightened L'oreal Ad. Photo courtesy of ClevelandLeader.com

I do not know what the truth is behind the Sammy Sosa scandal. I do not know if there is a simple solution to the divisions among people of color based on skin complexion. However, I do know that black is beautiful (not that white is not), and there is no need to be anything but who you are, whether that be a “brown boy” or a light-skinned boy. When we stop looking at color or physical appearance as an aspect of an individual’s character and value in society, then progress will finally happen. Until then, we’ll keep on bleaching, literally and figuratively, until the scraps of identity that we do possess disappear. What happened to “Black Power” and “Black Pride” ─ are we running from our roots by trying to externally be something that we are not?

Not even 'Edward' should go around biting.

I think Twilight fans are a bit much. I’m not against them– I’ve read all the books and seen the movies. I do see why they like it, but I think the obsession can get a little extreme.

I thought they were creepy but never THIS creepy. A girl watching New Moon in Michigan was actually bitten this weekend while watching New Moon. It wasn’t a sexy nibble gone wrong or a hungry moviegoer who mistook her for a snack but a 45 year old pervert sitting in the seat behind her.

He didn’t break the skin, and he hasn’t been caught yet. I assume she’ll be too creeped out to go to the movies anytime soon. I’m sure I would be too (after being disinfected, sanitized and had my tetanus shot)

Though it might seem that most of the girls are into vampires with the Twilight, True Blood and Vampire Diaries craze I hope biting doesn’t become the new pick up line. Unless you’re Robert Pattison  and she has a Twilight tattoo, I’m pretty sure it won’t work.

via Perez

It is really hard not to look at pornography. It’s really difficult when you wake up at 4.30am with a troubled mind not to use porn like you might take an Ambian.

Being sober for 13 years, sadly Ambian is out of the question.  I have no option other than to sit with uncomfortable feelings until they go away-or climb Runyon with the dogs.

When I first moved to Paris in my late teens I stayed in a small room on the Rue de l’Universite. I had no idea why I was there other than I had escaped my country, my family, my other life.  I was in shock.  A refugee.  At first the mere prospect of walking the streets terrified me.  I found a bottle of sleeping pills, I would masturbate then take a pill, waking up many hours later only to repeat this sad ritual until all the pills had gone. Like heroin, a rush then a deep sleep. I have a very selective memory (forgetting people especially) but I remember these days as if I had just lived them. I remember the stains on the sheets, the empty bottle and the relief I felt when I left the room and walked back into the city.

I have only recently learned how to live in my own body. To exist in my own skin, within the parameters of the life laid down before me. I have only recently learned to trust the next step forward. You may think that I am confident, dressing up in tiaras and laughing with my friends but my bravado masks, and has always masked, a profound sense of discomfort.

When they sent me to prison, after the initial shock of being sentenced, I loved most every moment of it. The routine, the food, my cellmate, my cell, the language, the echo, the vast and towering Victorian halls. There is something very operatic about a British prison.

I was never scared in prison-my basic needs were always met. I was never attacked or picked on-after all my crime was a JOKE! Being sent to prison for not paying a credit card bill.  I felt like an anthropologist in prison-visiting a foreign land. I felt the same in the Pasadena Recovery Center. I was visiting the land of reality TV, the land of mass media, the land of shattered dreams and unrealistic expectations. It was the second great act of my operatic adventure.

(If only my life were an opera.)

I loved being in Rehab exactly like I loved being in prison. Drew thought that I would leave Sex Rehab within the week-he was sure of it. He had no idea just how much I desired incarceration. How much I love having my options removed. How much I relish my own death. I immediately loved my fellow inmates in Rehab far more than I could love them in the world. The depth of love I felt for them could never be replicated beyond the walls of the rehab. My coconspirators. My brothers and my sisters. Equally the loathing I felt for the producer and production team was rarely masked. It perfectly replicated my prison/hospital experience. My fellow prisoners/patients and the guards/nurses who looked over us.

You see, I was born to be fearless.  I was born to take risks.  To be an artist and a gardener and a butler and a saint.

So, when I wake up in the morning and I don’t masturbate to porn-I choose life. I choose not to throw a warm blanket over my feelings and start the day raw.

Jennie and I walked Runyon yesterday. It was beautiful up there. It is always beautiful up there looking down from Mulholland over the great, gasping city of LA.

I had the oddest memory. New Years Eve twenty years ago in a huge New York club-taking ecstasy, being really fucked up and thirsty and not being able to find water. I am with Camille and Gulshan. The water in the bathroom had been switched off forcing people to buy bottles. There are no bottles left.  Nobody would give us a sip of their water. There were acrobats above us and I thought to myself-this is what hell is. This is what hell is.

Oh yeah-fuck you Tyra for not having me on your show-but actually I don’t care, she’s too tabloid – even for an attention hound like me.

by sylvia

Well, today is the day.  The day of Bianca’s debut as a runway model at a local fashion show.  She’s been practicing for 8 (!) weeks to get her walk down pat, her fierce on (thanks, Tyra) and find her inner supermodel.  I’m sure she’s going to be fantastic, but I’ll let her tell you all about it next week.

Let’s get back to talking about me, one of my favorite subjects.

This fashion show was quite a thorn in my side there for awhile.  Why, you ask?  Well, I’m getting to that.

When we tried out, we basically thought we would either both get it or not get it, not the other option of only one of us.  And my initial feeling was that if I made it, I wouldn’t do it if Bianca didn’t.  Because we tried out for it as something fun, something for both of us to do together.  BFF and all that shit.

But before we even found out who made it and who didn’t, we decided whomever made it should do it, regardless.  And I was cool with it because I’m an adult and not a jealous bitch, right?

Well, the day of the callbacks came and went, and neither of us received a call or email.  And then I got my rejection email, which read very similar to a job rejection letter and quite formal for what I thought was a cheesy local fashion show (it’s not so cheesy, we found out).  But Bianca had received nothing. 

Until the next day. 

And when she told me that they wanted her, my heart dropped.  I felt like I had eaten 40 lbs of bread and with nothing to drink.  I hadn’t really prepared myself for that, even though I always knew it was a possibility.  Besides, Bianca is fabulous and more comfortable with her body.  But the only thing I could think about was R E J E C T I ON.  I was rejected.

As happy as I wanted to be for her, I felt worse about myself.  I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding situations where I could be rejected, and then when I put myself out there, rejection just threw up in my face.  It was a terrible lesson to learn – don’t bother putting yourself out there because you’re just going to be rejected.

But I’m beyond that, right?  I mean, I’m a 35 year old adult, I should be past the whole “afraid of rejection” thing.  Yeah right.

I must admit that I wouldn’t have been so bothered by it if we had both been rejected.  But we weren’t.

I went home that night and cried.  Sure, it’s just a silly fashion show, right?  But all my life I have felt rejected by the way I looked.  Whether it was my face or my fat self or how tall I was, any rejection I got was from my physical self.   And now, here it was happening again.

I felt like I wasn’t even good enough for the other fatties.  Even if I accepted myself for being fat, I still wasn’t good enough to be in a plus-size fashion show that was celebrating fat women of all ages and ethnicities.

So it was a hard couple of weeks for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hide under a blanket and cry for weeks.  But it made me realize that my “acceptance” still had a lot of work to do.

And poor Bianca, she wanted to badly to be excited about it, which she should be, but she was also concerned about hurting my feelings talking about it.

So I did some soul-searching.  And realized that I could analyze and overanalyze why they wanted Bianca over me, and I would never EVER get the answer.

And I became ok with how things worked out.  Not just ok, but honestly very happy for Bianca because I knew she would shine.  They wanted her for a reason, and she would rock that shit out.

And once I told her that it did in fact make me feel bad at first, I know she was relieved to hear me say to her truthfully, “I want you to talk about it with me, you have every right to be excited about it!”

So, I learned me some lessons from all this:

• Being rejected just means you weren’t right for that for whatever reason.  You can’t take it personally or you will end up going insane
• Modeling may not be my thing – I’m probably better at other things
• Everything happens for a reason
• Not all girls are bitches
• Me and Bianca may be fierce on our own, but we are pretty damn flabulous together:

J’adore le cirque

- enter the circus -

CIRCUS

1. a large public entertainment, typically presented in one or more very large tents or in an outdoor or indoor arena, featuring exhibitions of pageantry, feats of skill and daring, performing animals, etc., interspersed throughout with the slapstick antics of clowns.
2. a troupe of performers, esp. a traveling troupe, that presents such entertainments, together with officials, other employees, and the company’s performing animals, traveling wagons, tents, cages, and equipment.
3. a circular arena surrounded by tiers of seats, in which public entertainments are held; arena.

America’s Next Top Model has featured two shoots heavily inspired by the theme of “Circus”. Cycle 7 saw the models portraying the different characters who are often part of a touring circus.

Cycle 13 saw the models participate in a “Circus” themed shoot – but this time it also featured members of CIRQUE DU SOLEIL – a Canadian entertainment company, self-described as a “dramatic mix of circus arts and street entertainment.”

I’ve only ever been to the Circus twice in my life.

The first time, I went to see a touring Circus company in my local park and have very few memories of the whole experience as I was young. HOWEVER> I was fortunate enough to go to Las Vegas a few years back and went to see Cirque du Soleil’s “Mystère” at the Treasure Island Hotel. It was insane. I can’t explain how unreal and SURREAL the whole spectacle was. The performers perform like i’ve never seen anyone perform. They are able to move their bodies in ways I didn’t think were possible. They’re the best actors. The best dancers. The most innovative and creative beings. It’s such a journey – seeing their art live. I strongly suggest that all of you check out a Cirque du Soleil show once in your life!

Britney Spears’ “The Circus Starring: Britney Spears” tour finishes in just over a week, after a run of nearly 9 months.

One of my favourite songs by Kelis, called “Circus”

]]> http://auntiefashion.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/smize-on-the-prize/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:10:50 +0000 auntiefashion http://auntiefashion.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/smize-on-the-prize/

Tyra

Fear.  Elation.  Excitement.  Bewilderment.  Hunger.  These are only some of the sensations that Tyra Banks likely felt when Oprah Winfrey announced that she would be leaving her daily talk show sometime in 2011.

While I’m excited that Tyra can now set her smize on the prize — Oprah does possess the largest audience of any daytime talk show — I’m also fearful, elated, excited, bewildered and hungry when I think about another season of “America’s Next Top Model” and how this news might affect the greatest show in the history of television.  If Tyra sets her smize on becoming the next queen of daytime, will ANTM suffer as a result?  Will she choose one show over the other?

Dear Zob in heaven!  I don’t even want to think of what it would be like to live in a world without ANTM.

I’m definitely not a fan of dry wine. Thursday’s are usually the best. I look forward to them, but tonight has been really dry and I haven’t enjoyed any of my usual shows. Well, here’s the break down.

America’s Next Top Model

Nov. 18, 2009 ANTM – Well, I stopped watching halfway through the season because I don’t think I can take it anymore. Everything is the same and there’s no intensity. I was rooting for Laura, but Nicole won. So, congratulations to the both of you.

Nicole wins America's Next Top Model/Photo Courtesy of the LA Times

Survivor

Survivor- Well well well, guess who found the immunity idol that was hidden under a rock? Yes, Mr. I-Secretly-Work-For-CBS himself, Russell. I. Knew. It. Laura has gone by by and the sneaky little Shambo and her little sidekick Russell are clicking their boots together right now. It seems as if the original Galu tribe is getting dumber and dumber. Unfortunately. Do I have a favorite player? No, but it would be wise to side with Russell these days.

Real Housewives of Orange County

Overall this episode was really dry. It was Jeana’s last episode and we were introduced to Alexis and her 18 carat ring. What?! Yes. Tamra was the usual bitch and admitted to being jealous of Alexis. Already? Yes, bring on the drama. I’m not sure what Alexis’s husband does but they’re very wealthy and I’m sure they’re not downsizing like the other housewives. Gretchen and Slade are fire every where they turn. I really hope things work out for them. He’s even reversing his vasectomy so they can have babies! They can do that??? I can’t imagine. Next week’s episode will be more interesting, I hope.

The new housewife/Photo Courtesy of Bravotv.com

This is entirely Madonna’s fault

All the female pop stars have been copying Madonna like she’s a super- nerds dandruff covered exam paper for the past two decades. It was only a matter of time before the “angry vagina” thing got emulated. In the clip to Beyonce’s song Video Phone she and Gaga have a good old fashioned Vag off. I’ve been pondering both their secret gardens for several minutes now and I think we might have a tie on our hands. Neither is bringing the vag rage and as Tyra would say, none of them are smiling with their clits. I think we’re looking at the bottom two this week. Madonna’s vagasaurus could storm in there and annihilate them both without breaking a leotard sweat. Sorry girls, nobody brings the irate vag like Madge.

- Tara Steven-Seagal. Copyright 2009 ©

Nicole

Nicole “Bloody Eyeball” Fox was crowned America’s Next Top Model on last night’s season finale.  Beating out Laura Kirkpatrick, Nicole provided what might be the most-credible result in half-a-dozen cycles of the show.

It’s delightful to look at all the positive press that ANTM is getting this morning.  Will choosing a winner that the fans were rooting for inspire Tyra and company to cast more genuinely modelesque girls in upcoming cycles?  Probably not.  We all know that Tyra occupies a universe quite unlike the one that the rest of us inhabit.  This is most likely an abberation; a singularity in the space/time continuum.  Every fiber of my being is sensing another Tootie-like winner for Cycle 14.

You know I’ll be watching anyway.  No matter how hard I try, I can’t turn away.

Here’s a summary of this wednesday’s TV Night:

ANTM Finale- The two (short) models had a good ole fashion runway battle (never to outdo the classic Zoolander/Hans duel) to decide the winner of ANTM, season 13. They both had to dress as “elements” (Atta way Tyra, the best way to show off models is to make them walk INTO harsh winds and water with a veil over their faces…) and pose for their final photo for Covergirl.

The judges were impressed with both ladies (Country Barbie Laura and Social Misfit Nicole) but in the end….drum roll please…Nicole wins the title! (No need to congratulate me for calling this one…really, I’ll give myself a high five) She is instantly whisked away by Tyra (her new agent, BFF and co-model for the next year), giving her the Ultimate prize…A photo WITH Her (lets be honest, thats the only prize that really matters…)!

CSi:NY- The compass killer returns, and Flack (who totally stole the show last episode running in tight jeans after the perp!) is all of a sudden a fall-down drunk! An apparent suicide off the Brooklyn bridge turns into a not-so-simple case, and the discovery of ‘the compass’ brings the return of that creepy schizo werewolf guy from a few episodes back. The show with by far the best theme song on TV never disappoints…

Dragons Den on CBC (yes, I watch that channel) put on another great show of rich people analyzing potential business ideas…rannging from Childrens Arobics to Lobster Waste turned fertilizer…(only in the east coast would they find yet ANOTHER use for lobsters!)

Two brilliant guest stars on Modern Family: Elizabeth Banks as a that old college girl-friend every one has (the one who threw the wildest parties, drank the most shots and regretted everything the next day) and Edward Norton as a washed up 80’s ‘rock band’ member with a british accent and bangs.

Raptors lost again…Toronto is cursed.

That’s about it for this wednesday…nothing life-changing…but there’s always hope for thursday!

Yay for B.Scott! He posted this message to his love muffins earlier today on his webpage:

Make sure you check out b scotts website for details!!

www.lovebscott.com

“Hump-day” (don’t be gross) means that we are halfway through another week of TV… but perhaps the best is yet to come!
Here’s what I’m watching tonight:

SYTYCD Results- One of the more entertaining “results” show on TV…Cat usually gets down to the results pretty early, and the rest of the “filler” is great performances by REAL dancers. Predictions? I wont bet my right arm on this, but I think those in trouble tonight are: JLO (Karen)  and Kevin, the Bird dance couple (Victor and Channing), and the last spot is up for grabs (Are viewers as enamored with Ballroom Ryan, and Russel or as sick of adolescent Mollee as I am?) Results tonight at 8pm FOX/City

ANTM- It’s the finale of Tyra’s brainchild for the 13th time. Which (shorter version) model will grace the pages of Seventeen magazine (and come back as the “inspiration” next season)? The choices are Social-outcast Red-head (Nicole) or Country Barbie (Laura). Both have been strong throughout the season, it’s actually almost too close to call… but I guess I have to make a BOLD prediction. Again, not betting any part of my body on the outcome. I predict a Nicole win.

CSI: NY- The grittier of the three cities, what kind of severed appendage, GSW, strangulation or gang-hit will we encounter tonight? This light-hearted affair for the whole family airs on CTV at 10pm….gather the kiddies.

Other shows to consider: Dragons Den (an underrated Canadian gem, and newly minted Gemini Award winner…check it out if you havent already! CBC 8pm), GLEE (for you closet musical-fans…it’s the perfect guilty pleasure FOX 8pm), Modern Family (A new ABC comedy sitcom…that is actually funny…I kid you not. ABC 9pm)

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV Night.

After Cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model it became painfully obvious that the show was pretty easy to figure out. Did this stop me from watching it? Hell no. I can’t go without my weekly dose of crazy Tyra Banks. As any college student knows, the way to make something more interesting is to just add alcohol. My friend Meghan invented the America’s Next Top Model drinking game, perfect for any girl’s night in:

Take one drink if:
-Tyra says something crazy
-Tyra says something about Tyra
-A girl calls another “bitch”
-A girl says the word “ghetto”
-Girl trips on the runway
-Tyra says to “smile with your eyes”
-Girl cries about how hard life is for her
-Miss Jay rolls his eyes back and gasps
-Accidental racist remark made by a white girl
-Janice makes a disgusted face (note that yes, Janice’s face is always disgusting, but you know what we mean)
-The word “fierce” is said
-Someone claims “This is my dream!”
-A girl is criticized as being “too commercial”

Take two drinks if:
-Tyra says something about the “dark side of modeling” or the “ugly side of fashion”
-Previews show something crazy happening but it’s just a trick
-Girl mentions her baby at home
-Girl accidentally comes out about her sexual orientation
-Miss Jay/Mr. Jay make awkward gay advances/flirting on straight men
-Girl stars a sentence with “In my country…”
-Girl tries to explain herself by repeating the same words over and over
-Girl says “I’m not here to make friends”

Finish drink if:
-Tyra fakes an injury/illness as a way of tricking the girls into learning something new (aspect of modeling, upcoming trip, impending photo shoot theme, etc.)
-Girl comes down with a mysterious illness before a major photo shoot.

Have fun, and drink responsibly!

November
November
November
Regn
Kallt
Mörkt

En AD var enda alternativet idag. Med ett silverglimrande pennskrin fyllt till bristningsgränsen med nya tuschpennor och en målarbok intog vi det lokala fiket för en After Dagis.

After Dagis (AD) inbegriper alltid ett stycke dammsugare, en jordgubbs MER, en latte och en kanelbulle.

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