Marsmädchen finden ihre Maße manchmal ganz schön uncool.

Naja, das versteh ich schon, hab ich mir gedacht, denn wenns nicht stimmt, dann stimmts ja gleich vierfach nicht.

Ob es dann wohl auch vierfach so schlimm ist?

First thing’s first. The current Blacklist.

London’s establishments of shame that have wronged me in one way or another, resulting in the stamp of disapproval. The word on the street must be spread. They shouldn’t have crossed me.

Bar Music Hall

Cutty sark

The Langley

Smiths of Smithfield

Jewel

Electricity Showrooms

The Book Club

Lena’s

Help the list grow…….

Matthew 10:26-31

“So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

These are the words Jesus spoke to his disciples before sending them off on their journeys across Israel to share the gospel with God’s children. Every word spoken is so weighty and I dint know which one to choose but I ended up choosing this passage because of the assurance God gives us in it. My biggest fear in sharing the gospel is that I am embarrassed to talk to someone about something that might make me look and sound uncool. Talking about religion is so socially unacceptable in our times that it is now shunned in commercial media, at schools and universities, in offices, homes and just about anywhere you go. How then are we expected to live out the great commission of sharing the gospel with the lost if it is such a difficulty.

The answer is not in going for a toastmaster’s class or going to Bible school but instead, the answer is through prayer and knowing that we are going about God’s work, not ours. When I first thought of starting this devotional, I was embarrassed to invite anyone to read because I was worried my writing was not good, my understanding of the word was poor and many other excuses, much like Moses before freeing the Israelites. Once I asked God to lead me and realized this was God’s work, it became so easy and today it’s a joy. I may still not be a great writer, have a masters in Theology or be ordained to minister in the Church but I know that as I serve God, God gives me the wisdom and I’m just a glorified typist who is blessed to be entrusted with this work. It’s about God, not me! Until we get over the fear of man and recognize that it is not about us but about the one that saved us, we will live in fear and satan will rejoice. Now are you ready to give God a chance?

In His Loving Service,
Vineet

Back from my job-hunting, sleep-and-girlfriend-filled hiatus… To say a few things. [ For Aion stuff, look after the 1-2-3 ]

1: I’ve decided to start a Blogger page, simply because they allow monetization immediately, with Google AdSense, and I want to see how well it works for me, with the steady 5-15 people I’ve been getting per day. Nobody is interested in commenting at all, except for my lovely mother and her readers, but that’s how things are. Not everyone has a WordPress account with which to post.

2: I realized that NCSoft charged me for my next month of playtime.. But didn’t give it to me. It’s not in NCSoft Account billing history, but it’s in my paypal’s bills list. Weird. Sucky, too. Means I have to stop playing as soon as the 29th ticks around unless someone wants to give me another month so I have something to do after coming home from job hunting.

3: Yes. I am unemployed and looking for a job. If anyone knows of a job I can get, online or in the Western Washington area, please, say something, anything. This is getting old and I’m starting to feel really bad about living here for free =/.. And contrary to parental belief, I am actually looking for a job and am going out there at least once every business day, sometimes only for a few hours, other times for a full 6-8 hours. It depends on what area I go to, and I do make trips back around every week.

AION! I’ve been sitting at level 28 for, I swear to god, a week and a half now thanks to my lovely girlfriend and my cousin, waiting for them to take forever to hit level 25. For-ever. Why? There’s an instance (A dungeon crawl, dungeon-like thingy, place where you go that isn’t connected to the rest of the server, place full of exp, phat lewt, etc..) called the Nochsana Training Camp. It has a level cutoff of 25-28. I told them I’d run with them at least one round. Had I not waited, I’d have easily been level 35 by now, even with the running-around-town I’ve been doing.

Well, I may as well give some sort of wordy guide on NTC: It’s small. Really. But as small as it is, at level 25, when you can first get in, you can get a level off of it by doing all of the quests and clearing the instance. The instance consists of:

Many, many elite balaur, along with a number of non-elites that die in like, 5 hits. Lol.

4 minibosses. The minibosses are: The artifact guardian, who.. Just hits hard. I don’t remember if she’s anything special. Then there’s the Gate Guard, a big drake guy that the tank -must- turn around, away from the group, or the group takes a large amount of damage. Next, you have.. The.. Aether? Guardian? I think that’s her name. She’s surrounded by single or double pull groups, but she’s just a big pushover. The annoying part is that she has a strong damage shield that essentially prevents her from taking any damage until it’s broken.. Also lowers her enmity counters by quite a bit, which is an issue for the tank if his skills are on cooldown when the shield breaks. I’ve only had this issue once so far. Next? Teleporter. She summons an additional balaur, you can literally ignore him as he doesn’t hit hard, but generally people have him off-tanked with a gladiator or chanter, or just CC’d with a sorceror just turning him into a tree, or sleeping him. She dies ridiculously fast.

And last? The BBEG, Nochsana Fortress General, don’t remember his name, don’t care, he’s big. Tips to the tanks? Turn him around and pull him to the wall. This does two things: It eliminates AOE damage done to your group.. And when you get feared, so long as you have enough enmity on him, you won’t move. Other things he does? Pulls people in and does an aoe stun, which can be avoided if the ranged people stand out far enough. What else… The fear is aoe as well, if I remember it right..

Oh. He pulls all of the mobs [ balaur ] in the fortress to him when he gets aggro’d. And for this reason, you must clear out the fortress first.

Those of you new to the MMO scene don’t understand a number of these words, as I’ve been told, so I’ll give a quick description.

Tank: Guy that stands in front and takes all the damage, making sure to keep everyone on him with skilled use of enmity/threat/hate/aggro generation skills, depending on which game you’re playing. In this game: Templar, sometimes Gladiator or Chanter.

DD/DPS: Damage-dealer or damage-per-second. Your typical damage class. In AION: Ranger, Gladiator, Assassin, Chanter, Sorceror, Spiritmaster.

Healer: Should be pretty  simple.. The guy keeping your group alive. Due to mechanics in Aion, you can either take a Chanter or a Cleric for your healing, but it’s generally advised to take a Cleric AND a Chanter for the best buffs.

Buff: The opposite of a debuff, a skill that stays active on you to increase a skill or effect, such as giving you more health.

Debuff: See previous. Only, instead of giving health, it might be a poison, steadily ticking away your health.

Uhm.. What else.. Ah!

Hate/Aggro/Threat/Enmity: What the tank uses to keep the mobs on him. Some games actually have a meter to show you how much threat you have [ WoW... ] but Aion does not, and also uses a different system, Enmity, which is far more flexible–It can decrease as you ignore the mob, or can increase based only on proximity and hitting other targets that aren’t it. In general, unless the tank isn’t a total retard, the healer will have one or more mobs on him/her as, in Aion, the enmity that healing puts out is MASSIVE.

Mobs: Killables! This is the name for the guys running around that you can kill.

Elite: Stronger than your average monkey.

BBEG: Big Bad End Guy. Someone like the fortress general. He’s big, he’s bad, and.. Well, he’s at the end!

Did I miss anything?

Un dicţionar de acum 20 de ani îţi relevă o multitudine de definiţii şi interpretări. Însă dacă ai căuta termenul “cool”, nu ai găsi decât o filă albă. De ce? Pentru că în acea perioadă nu exista. Statutul de a fi cool a câştigat teren în lupta cu timpul, reuşind să împartă populaţia în două categorii.

 E uncool să citeşti în timpul liber? Sau e mai cool să ai o viaţă virtuală pe facebook şi twitter? E uncool să mergi la şcoală cu autobuzul în loc să foloseşti maşina? Sunt simple întrebări care îţi zboară prin minte pentru a afla sensul acestui argou. Factorul de coolness depinde de noua colecţie a unui vestit designer sau de numărul de postări pe o reţea socială. Însă elementul care contează e propria persoană. Trebuie să ai în vedere micile lucruri care îţi fac ziua mai frumoasă şi să uiţi de tendinţe. Cool e ceea ce îţi place, ceea ce îţi oferă adevărate sentimente. E discul vinyl, atât de vechi, dar care îţi umple camera de armonie. E cartea preferată pe care ai citit-o de nenumărate ori. E piesa de teatru care ţi-a lăsat o amintire plăcută. Bunica e cool pentru că în încercarea sa de a se conforma cu noutăţile, se reinventează. Cool sunt cei care trăiesc după propriile reguli, mai exact, artiştii. Ei au lumea lor, construită pe o bază bine conturată: imaginaţia. Au spus NU clişeelor şi au format noi concepte care îi definesc. Nu se trezesc atunci când toată lumea o face, ci atunci când simt că e necesar.

Până la urmă, o întoarcere în trecut ar demonstra că termenul “cool” era cunoscut încă de pe atunci, însă sub altă formă. Uncool poate fi comparat cu “Nu îmi mai place”, iar opusului său îi punem alături un motto:”Mi se potriveşte, îl/o cumpăr!” Nu firea umană s-a schimbat, ci doar perspectiva din care gandim.

Diese Mail befand sich heute im Postfach der FH-Studierenden in Potsdam. Mit vielen Grüßen von unserem Hochschulbibliotheksteam. Und da wundert sich noch eine/r das Bibliotheken so schlecht besucht werden!

Liebe Bibliotheksbenutzerinnen und -benutzer,

bitte beachten Sie bei Ihrem nächsten Bibliotheksbesuch folgende Benutzungsregelungen:

• Garderobe und Taschen – Taschen (einschließlich Notebook-Taschen), Jacken, Mäntel und ähnliche Kleidungsstücke, Schirme und andere größere Gegenstände dürfen nicht in die Bibliotheksräume mitgenommen werden. Sie sind vor dem Betreten der Bibliothek in die vorhandenen Schließfächer (links vor dem Bibliothekseingang) einzuschließen.
• Die Schließfächer sind mit einem selbst mitzubringenden mittelgroßenVorhängeschloss zu verschließen.
• Nur in Ausnahmefällen können Schlässer in der Biliothek ausgeliehen werden (es ist nur eine sehr begrenzte Anzahl vorhanden).
• Die Schließfächer sind nach dem Verlassen der Bibliothek wieder zu räumen, da sie nach Beendigung der Öffnungszeiten durch das Bibliothekspersonal geöffnet werden.
• Die Hochschulbibliothek übernimmt keine Haftung für den Inhalt der Fächer.
• Im Foyer der Bibliothek erhalten Sie Körbe, die Sie für den Transport von Notebook und Arbeitsmaterialien innerhalb der Bibliotheksräume nutzen können.

Essen und Trinke

• Essen und Trinken ist in der Bibliothek nicht gestattet. In unmittelbarer Nähe der Bibliothek stehen Ihnen die Mensa und die Cafeteria zur Verfügung.

Handys

• Bitte nehmen Sie Rücksicht auf weitere Bibliotheksbenutzer und schalten Ihre Handys in der Bibliothek aus.

Vielen Dank
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
Ihr Bibliotheksteam

Unannehmlichkeiten und Verbote. Ich freue mich schon auf meinen nächsten Bibliotheksbesuch.

Mobbingerlebnis

Wenn man ein Ziel sich setzt, kann man auch etwas erreichen. Gerade bei Schülermobbing ist es wichtig, dass sich Lehrer ihrer Veranwortung klar werden, Opfer beginnen sich zu wehren, auch wenn sie als (Uncool) gelten und ein Unterstützer oder Streitschlichter von außen die Verhältnisse anschaut und Lösungen mit den Betroffenen erarbeitet.

So geschehen in Mönchengladbach. Die Streetworkerin Nici Glasmacher hat  am Gymnasium am Geroweiher ein Projekt gegen Diskriminierung und Mobbing ins Leben gerufen, das von Erfolg gekennzeichnet ist.  ”Die Diplom-Sozialwissenschaftlerin und Streetworkerin Nici Glasmacher (28) besucht seit zwei Jahren Schulen und Einrichtungen, um mit den Jugendlichen Aktionen zur Vorbeugung von Diskriminierung und Mobbing zu machen. Die Initiative ist Teil einer Zusammenarbeit von Stadt und Awo”.(1)

Mobbingopfer

>>„Mobbing auf dem Pausenhof kommt an allen Schulen vor. Schüler werden verstoßen, beschimpft oder ausgelacht, weil sie etwa keine Markenklamotten tragen“, erklärt Glasmacher. Für die Opfer habe das oft schlimme Folgen: Angst vor der Schule bis hin zu Selbstmordgedanken. „Es ist wichtig, den Jugendlichen klar zu machen, dass es kein Spaß ist, andere fertig zu machen“, so Glasmacher.<< (1)

Und der Erfolg sieht heute so aus, dass bis >>„vor etwa einem Jahr (es) bei uns die ’Coolen’ (gab), die haben ständig auf den ’Uncoolen’ herumgehackt. Damals war ich eine der ’Uncoolen’, aber ich habe mich gewehrt, ich habe mir nie etwas gefallen lassen“, erzählt die 13-Jährige. Klassenkamerad Niclas erinnert sich: „Viele haben das aber alles geschluckt, es gab viele Tränen, die Lehrer mussten sogar eingreifen. Jetzt tut es mir leid, dass wir so gemein waren.“<<(1)

Man kann alleine an diesem Projekt erkennen, wenn man gezielt gegen Mobbing und die Täter vorgeht, dieses auch zum Erfolg führt und der Mob sich ändert. Nur wenn man schweigt, nicht handelt und weg schaut wie Politiker, dann erleidet man sehr schnell Schiffbruch und eine Gesellschaft versinkt im Sumpf von Mobbing, Gewalt und Asozialität.

1)http://www.westdeutsche-zeitung.de/sro.php?redid=625461

Blog: So, may or may not be adding a second author to this blog to make it a wee bit more interesting on a day-to-day basis.. Of course, that’d mean it would need yet another name change, and -maybe- a theme change.. Either way, his link to what he has now is over on the right, he’s my forum-troll buddy Freyar. Not decided yet, he may just stick with his current bloggeh thing, who knows.

Personal: In other, totally unrelated news, my phone charger is dead and my phone is probably like 2 minutes from going the same way. What really sucks about this? I don’t have a landline so all of the applications I’ve turned in, in the past few weeks [ I can't even remember half of them.. ] are going to go to my voicemail if they call for a followup of any sort… And I won’t be able to get to that voicemail because my phone’s dead and I don’t have any money to go buy a new charger.

In slightly related news, that also means I won’t be able to talk to my girlfriend or out-of-state friends at all via phone any more, which is where we get 80% of our contact and planning. Sucks. If you feel like helping out…

Yeah. Not a necessary thing, and honestly, if I actually managed to get to the 20$ needed for it I’d be surprised. But it’s there for those caring souls who want to help [ Note: Also goes to food, paying rent, etc. ]

Yes, I am being a total bastard about this, but I’m poor and am having an incredibly difficult time of finding a job in this area for the past few months. I’ve been running on.. Well, family donations. And it pisses me off to need them because I originally moved out to fend for myself by myself.. but of course, I figured I’d keep my job, not get kicked out because I’d been there too long [ Do note, there is only one person still working at that store that was there when the original team got hired... And that's my cousin ;x ]..

Oh well.. Enough ranting. Time to get to sleep. Without my phone, though, I have no alarm.. Wonder when I’ll wake up.. Maybe I’ll try that self-clock thing that my step-dad told me about. It’s worked on occasion..

I will sleep for 5 hours and wake up at 1.. I will sleep for 5 hours and wake up at 1..

Yesterday I was talking with a friend about my plan to kill Talker96, and he asked when was the last time I actually saw my twin brother, and if I just sat and talked, would I still plan to kill him?

The simple answer, the one I gave my friend, is that I have not seen my brother in years, at least since I was seven years old. As for the plan to kill? Most definitely, I’d shake his hand and stab him in the eye while my trained Prairie Dogs took out his legs.

As for the difficult answer…the truth is, I can no longer remember when I last saw my brother……my twin. If it could be, then I would grasp my brother’s arm and tell of how I’ve missed him and our parents. Then I would riddle him with questions. Asking all sorts of things regarding family that I have never known.  Finally, as the day wore on, we would laugh and cheer at having finally found that missing piece of joy that we knew was gone from our lives…our bond of a brother. Alas…..if it could be.

But then I’d kill him.

My German Sheppard has been equipped with a “thought reading mind scan turnelmyer”, which boosts his brainwaves, thus enhancing his inner IQ, thus giving him the power of speech. It’s my own personal design and at times can become quite trying, if only because he can become quite the chatterbox sometimes.

But he’s a good boy despite the endless stream of gobbledygook that comes from his mouth when he talks, and that’s why I’m requesting that if you see him, would you ask him to come home? He’s been missing since I let him outside yesterday to go to the bathroom. We had an argument about his use of the bathroom in the Lair and he stormed out very angry at me.

I said some things I regret, as I know he did as well, but we are both stubborn and won’t admit when we are wrong.  he’s a Black and Grey Male German Shepperd who goes by the name Klaus. He shouldn’t be to hard to miss on account that he will have a rather large and unseemly electronic device strapped to his head.

Oh, and he should be the only dog around that has the ability to speak.

Thanks

I love the twitter dont’s  from PC magazine.  Twitter trends are changing all the time… some we love and some we hate.  I asked my tweeps for ‘uncool’ twitter actions.  List below of mine + suggestions.  Get at me on twitter @BiancaFreedman and send me more.  Let’s make twitter cooler….

Uncool:

1. Auto-following.  Grow your tweeps organically ! Just so much cooler.  Follow people through friends, by keywords & content.  Go for quality, not quantity.  Quantity will happen naturally.  This is a general theme in coolness…  (I know you agree @2ammarketing )

2. Auto-messaging.  There’s nothing more irritating than the “Thanks for the follow! I look forward to your tweets” msg… especially when they are tricky and make you think the message was personalized.. not cool.

3. Wearing your heart on your twitter sleeve.  This goes for Facebook too!  This is the internet.  Be smart.  Don’t diminish the credibility of social networking by crying through your keyboard…. uncool.

4. PDA twitter pics. Thanks @akroupa  for this one.  Get your own reality show instead. Tonsil hockey on twitter=  Not cool.

5. Extreme self promotion.  We all know twitter can help you make money, generate leads.  It’s OK to promote your product/service/personal brand as amazing as it is… but throw in some additional stuff.  Don’t spam your own content. Not cool.

6.  Telling the world you brushed your hair.  Again, it takes away from the credibility of social networking.  Use twitter to learn more and share.  Unless you are an A-lister and people actually care what cereal you had for breakfast, don’t tweet about it.  Uncool.

7. Taking credit for content that’s not yours.  This is why tweeps invented the RT.  Give credit where credit’s due…. otherwise, the post is uncool.  I credit the 13 Dont’s for this. 

8. Not providing a link.  If you found a great article, tweet about it with the link.  Getting your tweeps all riled up on the brilliant article and then not directing them somewhere is uncool.

9. Being ‘too cool’.  Respond to @ replies and direct messages.  No manners=uncool.

10. #Hashtagging every topic.  I recently got a DM about something personal where words such as #happy and #sorry were hashtagged.  This is seriously uncool.  

<3 C’est all

Bianca

Once upon a time, there was a new and innovative television show written by a longhair named Al Franken featuring comedy from the Not Ready For Prime Time Players. It was called “Saturday Night” and first aired in 1975 on NBC.

At the same time Saturday Night aired, there was a rival show Named: “Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell” that was unhip, uncool and part of the reactionary establishment that the people behind “Saturday Night” wished to avoid.

The Howard Cosell show was shortly cancelled and “Saturday Night” soon became the “Saturday Night Live” we all know today.

Speaking of today, times have surely changed since 1975. The Longhair Al Franken has long since cut his hair and became Senator Al Franken(D), a politician with no sense of humor and a ideological axe to grind. And Saturday Night Live is now just as uncool as the old Howard Cosell show was. In addition to all of this, The people behind SNL are resorting to generating phony controversies like having cast members saying “Fuck” on the air. Gee, as if Charles Rocket wasn’t doing this 30 FUCKING YEARS AGO. oooh, those SNL people are sooo hip, sooo edgy, NOT!

SNL, et al. are now the uncool, unhip reactionaries they were making fun of back in 1975

Are we going to have some good President Obama material soon? Not if Al Franken has anything to say about it.

Plymouth weiterhin im Mittelalter zu wachsen und eine Mauer um die Stadt im Jahre 1404 gebaut, folgte kurz später durch eine Burg. Weitere Verteidigung weiterhin hinzugefügt werden in den kommenden 200 Jahren. Das heißt, Plymouth weiterhin weiterhin vor allem ein wichtiger Handelshafen, in diesem Zeitraum. Die erste Werft in Plymouth wurde am Ufer der Unterlauf des Flusses Tamar in den späten siebzehnten und frühen achtzehnten Jahrhundert. Da es keine Menschen, die in diesem Bereich kamen Arbeiter für die Werft aus den benachbarten Städten und Dörfern. Allerdings wurden Häuser gebaut, um schließlich Männer, die auf der Werft aufnehmen und 1733 Plymouth Dock einer Bevölkerung von 3000 Personen hatte, fast halb so viele Menschen wie die Altstadt von Plymouth. Die Werft war in den späten achtzehnten und frühen neunzehnten Jahrhunderts als Folge des Krieges mit Frankreich erweitert. Plymouth Bedeutung als Flottenstützpunkt wurde im Jahre 1812 bestätigt, wenn dem Bau der Hafenmole in Plymouth Sound begann, die einen sicheren Hafen für Schiffe, die Bergung von heftigen Stürmen. Während dieser Zeit die wichtigste Quelle des Reichtums und der wichtigste Arbeitgeber in der Region war die Werft. Plymouth Dock wurde weiter zu vergrößern und neue Dörfer wurden auch die Entwicklung am Rande der Stadt als Plymouth wuchs.

Arshile Gorky spielte eine wichtige Rolle bei der Einleitung des Abstrakten Expressionismus Bewegung. Die abstrakten Werke in der Zeit dieser Bewegung erzeugt werden als eine bestimmte Kombination von visuellen Aspekte der abstrakten europäischen Schulen wie Futurismus, synthetischen Kubismus und Bauhaus mit dem Selbst-Ausdruck und die emotionale Kraft des deutschen Expressionismus. Obwohl diese abstrakte Kunst war eine Mischung aus einer Reihe von Stilen, ihrer Grundphilosophie zu suchen und suchen nach Antworten für die Fragen der menschlichen Existenz. Während der Zeit des Abstrakten Expressionismus Bewegung begannen mehrere Künstler experimentieren mit Formen und Farben. Sie löste sich von dem, was wurde als künstlerische, konventionellen Malerei und malte komplette Leinwände in blau, orange oder andere Farben. Tropfen, Spritzer und große Pinselstriche wurden charakteristischen Merkmale des Abstrakten Expressionismus. Die Künstler dieser Zeit bevorzugt größer Leinwände auf dem Boden positioniert, dass über die Leinwände waren Staffelei gebunden und moderat. Der Schwerpunkt der abstrakten Kunst im Expressionismus Bewegung war nicht die Darstellung von Gegenständen, sondern die Darstellung von Emotionen.

Lately I’ve been looking for a place to set up my evil plan of  destruction for Talker96, but I just can’t find anything.

It’s not for a lack of trying though. It seems as if I’ve been to every underground cave, man made ocean rig, hovering island city in the sky or laser equipped battle fortified castle that is out there, but none seem to call out my name saying “you’re home 97″.  I need a place that screams death and turmoil but isn’t so scary as to bring a lady friend on the weekends. Is that to much to ask?

Oh well.

Can I just say really for a second?  Like really?  I feel like this is dorky.  I’m sorry if this offends anyone.  The Happy Helmet Camera mount is supposed to let you record your ride.  I mean, I’m sure that this has some kind of target audience, but not a large one.  Most ride bikes to get from point A to point B.  Some ride bikes for recreation and athletic purposes.  After spending X amount of hours biking, would you really want to relive your life for a second time.  You saw the things once, do you really need to see them again?  Also, few wear helmets nowadays.  The helmet, however protective it is, is generally deemed uncool itself, so to draw more attention to yourself while biking with your helmet may just be pushing the limit.  The user is asking to be made fun of.  If I saw someone using this, I’d definitely have a good laugh.  Seriously?  Sorry to the makers of the Happy Helmet Camera Mount…Uncool product.

Fits in your ear?

My first dive into the “uncool” category found me this gem.  This is an MP3 player that fits right in your ear.  Okay, that tag line sounds cool… but, the design is much too bulky for the ear.  Also, what happens with the other ear?  We’re not all Van Gogh here. I have two ears.  When I listen to music, I let it encompass me fully, I like it to drown out the sound of my surroundings.  I feel that this product is good in theory, bad in execution.  It needs to be developed more.  Will you wear this piece when studying?  Working out? Will it fall out of your ear? Is it too heavy? What happens to your other ear? I feel like it should be more like a hearing aid in design.  Sleek, compact, fits in your ear.  It should be controlled with a remote, because in order to change the song on the device, you would need it to have a button, which increases the size of the piece.  This design lacks a certain elegance that other MP3s have.  The design should be reworked.  It is a nice idea though, and I do expect these to be more prevalent in the future.  Uncool product.

Came across this poster in my closet the other day and thought to my self,

maybe Robots are the answer to my riddle,

of how to destroy Talker96

Tad’s school recently invited me to come in and give a speech to the student body about the values of honesty. Mary Todd, who had just finished watching a segment of Dr. Phil about how married couples should try spending absolutely all of their time together, read this personal invitation over my shoulder, as she often does, and insisted that she come along as well. Even though she isn’t known as Honest Mary Todd and if I could be quite honest Abe about it, probably wasn’t going to add much to the presentation, I allowed her to accompany me to Tad’s school.

She then rolled around on the floor and sang “Rocket Man” in a continuous loop for forty-five minutes because, if I could be honest Abe about it again, Mary Todd is crazy.

Perhaps this is what she was envisioning?

Because we were going to be giving a presentation to a group of Tad’s classmates, Mary Todd felt she needed to appear as cool as possible in order to impress our son. After much internal deliberation, she decided that wearing pre-ripped clothes would be the coolest thing she could do.

Mary Todd- “Pre-ripped clothes are what all the kids are into now, right?”

Myself-  “No. Don’t do it.”

Mary Todd- “Oh you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Then Mary Todd jumped through the window yelling “No whammies!” and landed in the deep end of our neighbor’s swimming pool. I would have been worried, but this is pretty routine for her.

Also pretty routine for Mary Todd

We arrived at Tad’s school a few weeks later so that I could give my presentation on honesty. I wore my “casual but formal” attire (button up with the sleeves rolled up, black pants, and a tie without the top button buttoned) and Mary Todd, not having changed her mind, wore jeans and a tank top that were both severely previously ripped.

The way the stage was set up, I gave my speech standing near the front while Mary Todd worked the slide projector (Powerpoint wasn’t invented until the Spring of 2006. Computers weren’t even invented until the Fall of 2006!) standing behind me. As I get deeply emotionally invested into my speeches, and this speech to a congregation of my son’s school mates was no exception, I knew there would be no way for me to keep an eye on Mary Todd during the presentation. Although this worried me as she has a history with these sorts of things,* I realized there would be no other option at this point and therefore began the presentation.

The speech seemed to go pretty well. I believe I hammered the points to metaphorical home that I wished to be hammered to metaphorical home. Such as a list of de-untruthed, untrue facts that people have not been honest in perpetrating about me. Such as;

-I was not born in a log cabin. This was a lie created by the government to help the Canadians sell more maple syrup. The reasons for this are unknown, but I have my theory.**

-I am not freakishly tall. I am more of an above-average, or, attractive height.

-My beard wasn’t really that long.

When I had finally uttered the last words of my carefully crafted speech, I became aware of my surroundings and looked across the audience. Instead of the captivation or at least the mild interest I was hoping for, it appeared that most of the audience was either rolling in fits of laughter or holding a look of utter shock and disgust. Although, looking back I truly wish that this response was directed towards me, the general direction of the group’s attention seemed to be behind me, focused on Mary Todd.

The pre-ripped clothes that Mary Todd had come in were almost completely gone, with only a few threads still clinging to her body. The already and purposely un-seamed threads had unraveled throughout the show all by themselves, and now Mary Todd stood practically in the nude under glaring lights in front of an audience of our son’s classmates.

And so, knowing that we had greatly embarrassed our son, we shamefully walked off the stage while burying our heads (in shame!) and drove home in silence.

Later that night, I asked Mary Todd why she hadn’t just left the stage when she felt the clothes unraveling.

Mary Todd- “I wanted to be cool like Janice Jackson.”

Myself- “Janet Jackson. And that incident was a long time ago.”

Mary Todd- “Oh.”

And then we fell asleep.

For unraveling off of my wife’s body while she was spotlighted on a stage in front of my son’s classmates…

Apparently the FCC is reopening this case of exposed human anatomy, even though it was five years ago and hardly a deal at the time. Why don't they pursue the most worst television crime of television that is The Jay Leno Show, instead?

pre-ripped clothes are so uncool.
*

Mary Todd gave me a fiery surprise during my Oscar acceptance speech for the newly created category of "Most Enthused About Top Hats"

**Gerald Ford, the President who started this lie, was really a cat and was promised a large sum of money by Canada to create this myth about me. I suppose the theory that Gerald Ford was a cat is not grounded in anything and does not relate to why Canada would offer him a large sum of money, as a human would be more likely to be tempted by this offer, but, quoting Thomas Jefferson, “I would never tell a lie involving a Cat President.”

]]> http://meanestmommy.com/2009/09/18/rule-168/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:20:44 +0000 Meanest Mommy http://meanestmommy.com/2009/09/18/rule-168/ http://strangerhappenings.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/life-and-section-8/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:51:34 +0000 Query http://strangerhappenings.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/life-and-section-8/

So I was looking at YouTube today [ and every other day, it's all I do lately -.- ] and figured I should do some sort of video.. Blog.. Thing. Just not right now, I look teh horrible with no sleep. I’m always posting these things at like, early-o-clock in the morning, and I never have anything interesting.. But I don’t know what I should post about! Hmm.. Section 8? Oooh.

YES! GAMES! Section 8. Section 8 is fuuuun. Multiplayer is balanced… To a point. A strategic player will post turrets next to supply depots next to an anti-air turret, thereby making a mini-base that people can walk near and get pwned.. And the dumb player will walk right into it. However, team balancing? IT BLOWS. You can be winning the game, 985 points to 162 and be the top person on your team.. [ TEAMS UNBALANCED ] <gamer> joins ARM.

FUUUUUUUCK. Well, there goes my win, my achievement for being in first on a winning team, my achievement for being within the top 3, my notoriety for carrying my entire team goes through the roof or in the crapper, debating on your standpoint [ For the team I switched to, I then look like a horrible person.. But the opposite team is like, 'holy hell that guy is scary!'.

You have your snipers! Snipers. SNIIIIIPERS.

But do they snipe? No, not really, they have a scope that zooms in a few feet forward, and they can shoot hard bullets that hurt a bunch, but are rarely on target, even when you use the auto-lock function the game has [ YES. AUTOAIMING BUILT IN. ] it only hits the stomach area.. I got in -one- lucky hit that was a complete drift of the bullet.. Into the guy’s head, autoaim was centered on his belly button :O Thank you, crappy bullet trajectories! So the sniper rifle sucks, but..

The assault rifle doesn’t It works better than the sniper rifle for hitting LR targets [ long range ]. More bullets, more accuracy, and when you get up close and personal it ignores shields entirely. Mmmm, assault rifle.. [ this, coming from the guy who plays exclusively as a sniper -.- ]

o.o oh man, speaking of shields and shit, you can customize each of your gear loadouts. Two weapons, two gadgets, and 10 skillpoints. Weapons consist of: Assault Rifle, Machine Gun, Shotgun, Missile Launcher, Pistol, Suck Rifle. Gadgets consist of: Grenades, Knife, Repair Tool, Godly Rain of Death Mortar, Microsensor, anti-microsensor-deely [ forgot name ]. Skill points allow you to upgrade certain parts of your gear, but not others, such as: Weapon damage, Armor durability, Shield amount, Shield recharge speed, Jetpack recharge speed, jetpack length, turret detection time decrease, repair tool repair rate.. That kind of stuff. Each option has 4 ranks, and you have 10 points. Spend wisely! Do note, if you go all shields, be prepared to get owned to hell in any close combat.

JETPACKS. OMGAWD. Hilarious that they call ‘em jetpacks, more like a superjump with an annoying recharge. -.-; Howevevere er, there’s a movement type called Overdrive–Your regular movement is -horribly- slow, and you’ll be going ‘wtf is this crap’, but next level up is your sprint–more like a run.. And, on running long enough, you go into OVERDRIVE. Heh. When you run into people with low shields, bad shield skills, or no health, they die. It’s hilarious. Just don’t run into allies >.>; Also note you cannot carry things [ bombs, intelligence ] in overdrive..

Remember the little turret strat I said earlier? Heh. Even players are stupid enough to fall for it. Won a match with 382 points, 150 over the highest person below me, 2 below the person above me [ who was just a really good player o.o' ].. 16 player match, 8 per team, 3 bots total [ 2 on my team ]

I did nothing but sit there the entire match and keep my deployables repaired I am such a cheap bastard.

CHEATS: There are none. Just tactics. There are two codes to get special gear, but I don’t really want to post them, I might get in trouble or something >.> go check IGN. [ I'm also an anti-cheat kind of guy. Last resort and all that. If the game REQUIRES cheats, you're either a horrible player, or the game is impossibly difficult. ]

As for the LIFE part of this? I got nothing. My life is horrible as is, the only things keeping me sane are my girlfriend, my parents down in another state, and my games. I can’t find a single job, I’ve been rejected on all my applications, and even the temp agency isn’t looking too pretty. Any tips, washingtonians or people with online jobs?

[ Yes, I realize at this point I'm just talking to myself and sounding insane. Oh well.. I can dream, can't I? Maybe my next post will be a wow-related story to keep my brain happy, since I don't have an audience to cater to just yet! ]

A few weeks ago, I received a letter in the mail from a group named “UFC,” inviting me to partake in a “Grand Competition of Fearlessness, Honor, and Blood.” Since I had never heard of this “UFC,” and because I am aware I have a reputation as a “great debater,”*

I assumed the UFC standed for something such as United Forensics Club and that I was being invited to participate in a debate that would require “fearlessness” of opinions, “honor” in keeping with the rules, measures, and above all the truth, and “blood” for the use of keeping our bodies alive throughout the whole debate. Sadly upon arrival, this did not turn out to be the case.

Sufjan believes Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but feels I was the great emancipator. He never says I wasn't a great debater as well though, so...interpret that as you will

I suppose a red badge of courage should have gone off in my mind when I showed up to the venue and realized that the “match” would be happening inside of a cage. At the time, I remember thinking that the cage was probably to keep us safe from any hot-blooded spectators who opposed our sharp-tongued viewpoints. This thought was quickly disproven.

After asking if I was ready, and if I would really be going out there in what I was wearing (I was donning my standard full-length suit coat, and steam-pressed black pants. Of course the answer was yes), I was led into the cage and into the middle of about one thousand screaming, white fans. I made a mental note to make sure the match organizers were aware of my Emancipation Proclamation and the outcome of the Civil War after the event was over.

On the other side of the cage stood my opponent, shirtless and hulk-sized. Although I do not like to think in stereotypes, it was not looking like this debate was going to be all that difficult. I was definitely getting a vibe that even Stonewall Jackson could defeat this man in an oratory fight.**

Skillful rascist, yes. Skillful oratory fighter, not so much.

To start things on the right foot, I meandered my way on over to the man-hulk and extended my hand in greeting. Apparently this was insulting to the man-hulk, as he returned my act of well-wishing with a cold stare and an exaggerated spit onto the debating ground.

Taken back a bit, I tried to about face by wishing the man luck and backing away with a half turn as to move on from what just happened, but the man-hulk was not ready for this awkward exchange to end.

Man-hulk (with a look that penetrated my soul)- “I want, you inside me.”

Myself (trying to give the tone of flattered but still making it clear that I am not interested in that kind of thing)- “Pardon?”

Man-hulk- “I am going to eat you alive out there.”

Myself (relieved, but to be honest a bit crushed as well***)- “Oh.”

Still not entirely catching on to the fact that I had mistaken the meaning of the acronym UFC, I stayed in the cage and waited for the referee to give us our debating topic.

As should have been obvious at this point, the debating topic never came. The bell rang and as I held my perfectly erect stature and looked towards the judges to ask what we should be debating, the man-hulk ran up to me and attempted to punch me in the face.

I say attempted because just as I was about to be knocked cold onto the cage floor, Andrew Jackson came riding up on his white steed and trampled the man-hulk to the ground. Then I jumped on his steed and we rode to safety.

When we were at a safe distance from the venue and I was no longer in any harm, Andrew Jackson dropped me off and said he had some unfinished business to complete.

And so Andrew Jackson rode back to the stadium and slept with every woman in the audience (consensually of course), as Andrew Jackson is not only very crazy but also very sexy to the ladies as well.

Looking back on this, there were so many clues that should have tipped me off from my confusion such as…

-there was an average of 2.3 skulls located either on clothes or skin of every person in the audience

-all the yelling (so much yelling)

-Harley Davidson was a sponsor

-most of the audience was wearing sleeveless t-shirts

-many of the signs read “Ultimate Fighting Championship” (this really should have tipped me off)

But nevertheless I failed to notice these, and therefore if it were not for my old friend Andrew Jackson, I may have ended the day with two holes in my head.

We are quite alike.****

UFC is so uncool.

*Not my words, I really am a humble person. In regards to my debating abilities, I would describe myself as meerly “alright” or even “meh (with a shrug as if to say even though I am aware of my great debating abilities, I am not going to be a John Wilkes Boothe about it).”

**This is not a reference to Stonewall’s renown craziness but in fact a reference to when Stonewall and me were on the same debate team in log cabin high school. Let us just say he did not have the most precise grasp over post World War II Middle Eastern turmoil, and leave it at that.

***When you have a giant hole in your head, you’ll take any compliment you can get.

****Our mothers were both potatoes.

Somewhat recently, I had the pleasure of riding with my son by horse and carriage (the only form of transportation at the time, kids.  Riding on top of a horse wasn’t invented until 1937 and the invention of walking wasn’t even until 1958!) to Comic-Con 2009 in San Diego. Although I knew riding by horse and carriage all the way from our humble Illinois home would be a bit arduous, Tad had been nagging me to take him so he could see the new Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day trailer for quite some time, and luckily for him I knew nothing of Boondock Saints I: Many, But Not Quite All of the Saints Day.

Maximilian Kolbe is one of the many saints left out of the first movie

Many troubles befell our humble group of travellers, as we made our way through river and spontaneous frost storm, all in the hopes that some day we would reach Oregon alive (where San Diego is located). We started our trek with a group of five; Tad, myself, and a small tourist group from Slovakia (a man, a woman, and one that really could have gone either way). Unfortunately, the Slovakians were not cut out for the trail and did not make it through the trip. Granted they did end up making it to Legoland, but the loss still weighed heavily on my heart for many days to come.

In any case, we eventually made it to San Diego, Oregon for Comic-Con 2009 without too many scars (I did have a giant hole in my head, but that was from an unrelated matter). After going through the extensive security process (no actual super villains allowed. Such as Glenn Beck) we horse and carriaged around a bit and eventually Tad found and pointed out the theater where they were showing the new trailer. I suggested we go inside as it was starting soon, and so we did.

Tad- “I have found the theatre where they are showing the new trailer, and now I am pointing it out to you.”

Myself- “The trailer is starting soon, so I suggest we go inside.”

And so we did.

At first I figured our featured presentation would be led into by trailers of other movies coming out soon, but then I realized that was an uneducated guess. There weren’t going to be trailers leading into a trailer! Sometimes I really am a laugh and a half/two laughs!

So the trailer began (with no pre-feature trailers) and at some point it was over and I was a bit more depressed than I was before I had seen this lowpoint in human culture. The rest of the crowd, however, did not seem to share in my sentiments. I could tell they were not as depressed as me by the way they were all slappin’ some hand with their fellow bros and telling each other, often four to five times each, how killer that trailer was. These two signs, when put together, usually mean the crowd enjoyed itself.

Tad was no exception to the hysteria that had swept the room. In fact, he may have loved the trailer most of all.

Tad- “Hey everybody! Let’s go out into the hall and laugh at the kids who decided to go see the New Moon trailer that clearly was inferior to what we just saw!”

Although his announcement to the room was rather long, and the crowd’s attention span was presumably pretty short, Tad still managed to incite a ra ra riot.

When we arrived in the outside hall, we realized that the New Moon kids had had a similar idea. They were all waiting, dressed in vampire attire, and ready to argue.

New Moon kids- “The trailer we just saw was good!”

Boondock Saints kids- “The trailer we just saw was better!”

New Moon kids- “False.”

Boondock Saints kids- “Double false.”

As this re-creation of the dialogue makes apparent, the situation was escalating fast. Unfortunately, so fast that even Andrew Jackson, who was an Olympic runner back in high school, couldn’t have kept up.

Faster than many things

Tad was the first victim to be victimized. A mother of a New Moon kid felt the need to impress her daughter and therefore finally win acceptance into her twelve year old’s life, so, in desperation, she pretended to be a vampire and bit my son.

Twilight Mom (to her daugther)- “Can I find out if you like boys yet now since we relate on so many levels.”

New Moon kid- “Mom, you can’t even name all three Jonas Brothers!”

Twilight Mom- “But I can learn!”

New Moon kid- “Whatever…”

For leading to a series of events that ended with my son being bitten by a Twilight Mom…

Boondocks Saints II: All Saints Day Trailer is so uncool.