via ihaveseenthewholeoftheinternet

Hey Xivs!

Well its been a busy week of what now and so now I’m going to wrap it up with all the correct answers:

Will Xivio be the same since Unibrow Software owns it now?

“Don’t worry, Xivio will not be affected by the sale of the company. It will be the same. Only difference will be a tiny change to the bottom of the front page’s copyright notice (owned by Unibrow Software, LLC)” ~ Paradox

Will our accounts and rares still be there?

“Hey guys. No there will be no data loss when Xivio returns, so all your items will remain as they were exactly when the server went offline.” ~Paradox

When Will xivio be back up?

“We’re still setting up the site. It looks like it will take a few more days than planned. It should be back up by Thursday, or Friday (Dec. 10 or 11).” ~Paradox

I still don’t understand why it was sold to Unibrow Software for $1.

“By the way, the “sprites” were talking about suing the company on their blogs somewhere (this was last month I think), though nothing actually came of it. The sale protects Xivio as a product. We all know the value of Xivio is much greater given time. I simply am protecting what I built in any way I can. I don’t want to find out in the future that two individuals are waiting in the wings to attack when Xivio becomes more successful. Better to take care of any legal possibilities now to build a better foundation for our Xivio. Not their Xivio.” ~Paradox

In a nutshell: No data loss, Xivio’s sale will not effect it, It will come back December 10th or 11th, and Paradox sold it so the sprites couldn’t ruin Xivio.

Well, everything is going to be fine!

~Bubby4j

No no, not Nelshino. I’m talking about Nelson Piquet Jr.’s unibrow here. I have noticed in various photos that Piquet has some unibrow action going on. Seeing those excess hairs just makes me want to PLUCK THEM for him. Given the chance, I also wouldn’t mind trimming those slightly longer hairs on his left eyebrow… or smoothing them down with a bit of brow gel (or wax). =X

Poor Piquet, I’m sure his unibrow is the least of his worries now… but do examine the photo and see for yourself!

Who do you think has the best eyebrows in F1? I shall examine this topic at a later point.

PS Find out more than you ever wanted to know about unibrows at Wikipedia

There’s your high brow:  opera or a Fellini film. There’s your low brow: Akon or Austin Powers. And both have their advantages and set-backs. But then you have something in between, the strange phenomenon of nostalgia and vintage. We’re often ironic about it, my generation doubly so. We take the popular culture of yesteryear and turn it into the high culture of the future.

If you desire examples, just head to your local Urban Outfitters chain to confirm it. The culture raiders over there will bring back anything and everything, from Chia Pets to Wayfarers. Right now, they’re going for film & cameras at the bargain cost of $20 for a pack of three rolls of 120 film (36-42 pictures, cumulatively). And you’ve got a variety of Japanese built toy cameras. Basically, they take a plastic, one-trick lens (fish eye, four part colored boxes, a classic “chrome” look), throw it on a body that’s been stripped of features and standard camera abilities and sell it for a silly little profit. Here’s the description of the most expensive models ($110). I’m not an expert photographer, but I know enough about my generation to know how we’re being marketed to. I also know a bad tool for artmaking when I see it. The Lomography Diana F+ is aptly named, because in concept alone, it gets an F+. Any item for artmaking that limits you to one or two prescribed “looks” is disturbing… I know that these products are a bad bet. From the description, emphasis mine:

Chrome dreams. Dating back to the early 1960s, the all-plastic Diana camera is a cult legend – famous for its dreamy, radiant, and lo-fi images (really?). Our brand new Chrome Edition Diana F+ is a faithful reproduction and a loving homage to the classic Flash Diana – with a few new features tossed in and a luxe limited edition chrome finish [sic...]. The Chromiac Diana includes a matching retro-styled electronic flash which fires a burst of white or colored light at your subject. Included adapters allow you to use the Diana Flash on standard hotshoe cameras (like the LC-A+ and Fisheye 2) or use a hotshoe flash on Diana F+ body . The Chromiac’s plastic lens, 2 shutter settings (daylight & “B”), 3 aperture settings, and manual focus (faaaancy) are all hallmarks of the original Diana. And on top of that, the Diana F+ offers a removable lens and super-small aperture for pinhole images, two image formats (12 or 16 square shots on a standard 120 roll), an endless panorama feature that allows for unlimited and nearly seamless panoramic shots, and both a standard tripod thread & shutter lock for easy shake-free long exposures.

In comparison, you could buy a Canon AE-1 Program off of e-bay for half the price, twice the accessories and lenses, and half the light leak.

Anyway, somewhere in that “unibrow” region, you can find people like me enjoying silly clips from “Le monocle rit jaune” or The Monocle (1964) where one just has to ask “why are they doing so many damn cartwheels?!”

Can someone tell me what’s going on here? And where do I get that monocle? I’m sure Urban Outfitters will have one for sale next month.

You guys remember June 2009 right?  The month it rained for 26 days or something stupid. 

For our newer readers who don’t have the time to read our trash from the past I put together some of June’s high, and probably more accurately, low points.  Plus I can’t decide on anything new to mouth off about yet….

SHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NICE TATS  

PAULY WANNA CRACKER  

TELL EM LARGE MARGE SENT YA  

BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL 

DAMN YOU FAT RONALDS  

SMASHING AND DASHING 

THE PAHDIDDLE-BROW FAMILY WISHING YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS 

SLOPPY JOES  

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WOULD YOU HONESTLY LEAVE THE HOUSE AND/OR YARD 

ENJOY!

Biljetterna till Way Out West är så äntligen inhandlade. Och jag råkade få med en konsertkompilation med Wilco på DVD också. Det går inte att lämna Bengans utan någon slags skiva. Anton och Hanna köpte också biljetter, så jag vet att jag inte blir helt ensam ifall alla andra helt plötsligt och onödigt skulle få för sig att dra sig ur i sista stund.

Kungstorget var knôkat med folk som slutat jobbet tidigare för att njuta av sista(?) sommarsolstrålarna och det var praktiskt taget omöjligt att ta sig i genom massan med folk under Veronica Maggios spelning som inledde årets Kulturkalas, åtminstone för min egen del. Det var nästan omöjligt att få en glimt av henne också, typiskt nog eftersom det är viktigare än musiken för mig. När de flesta nyfikna själarna, som mest bara var där för att slå sönder den sena eftermiddagen, blev det desto mer dansutrymme runt åttatiden under Navid Modiri och Gudarnas spelning. Hela torget gungade under dansande fötter och jag fick gåshud inte mindre än fem gånger i den vibrerande luften. Musiken var fantastisk och de har utvecklats som liveband något oerhört på de få år de varit ute och spelat. Det här var, enligt egen utsago, den sista spelningen på väldigt länge (Navid ska bli pappa bland annat). Den senaste plattan har blivit fantastiskt bra på sista tiden, även om det tog tid för den att sätta sig för mig. Men live. Jisses, vilken bra blandning.

Han väckte den där lille iraniern i mig i alla fall. Och han bad honom att dansa.

Och som han dansade med sitt vildvuxna, sexiga unibrow.

I love this photo. I wonder what he’s focusing on. Or, I suppose he could be signing it, since his right hand isn’t visible.

And since they’re called beauty tips, it’s likely they won’t.  So take one for the team and take care of yours. 

1. He may not notice his not-so-microscopic blackhead situation, but I’ll bet you do.  Biore Deep Cleansing Pore Strips to the rescue.
2. Unibrow is so 80s, in the bad sense. Pin him down and take care of it with your Tweezerman Slant Tweezers. Even if he cries like a baby, you’re doing him a favor.
3. Talons are so prehistoric, also in the bad sense. These dangerous weapons have potential for unintentional but serious injury.  Clip ‘em with Revlon’s Manicure and Pedicure Prep & Shape, then file rough edges.
4. He may be doing you right by keeping it tight, but if dry, tough, calloused hands are the result of his hardcore workouts, let him borrow your Barielle 60 Second Mani-Pedi Scrub.  Or better yet, offer to give him a hand-massage and sneak it in so he won’t resist.  Even if he fusses like a child, you’re doing you a favor.
5. Say No to Old School Drying Agents like soaps, astringents and medicated acne pads.  Unless he’s in the midst of preteen hormone changes, there is no reason for him to suffer this kind of severe facial moisture loss.  Particularly if a daily moisturizer is not part of his regimen, which better not be the case. Cause if you’ve taught him anything, it better be proper skincare.  If he won’t stand for the fancy lotions and potions you’d like to buy him, hook him up with light, fragrance-free Cetaphil Daily Moisturizer SPF 15.

The people of the Azores are not an attractive bunch, but they make up for it by being extremely friendly. A trick many of us learned during our own physically awkward periods and which they employ here liberally, most likely as an acknowledgment to the local unibrow phenomenon.  The natives tend to equate comprehension with volume so if you don’t speak Portuguese prepare to be yelled at with alarming enthusiasm. Most of the inhabitants are able to communicate in English to some degree but that doesn’t stop any of them from elaborating in their native language and employing intricate hand gestures to make their point. Most of this aggressive gesticulation is dedicated to directing interested parties to the best restaurants and scenic locations. Information that is greatly appreciated since most of the regular cafes food is very similar to what can be found at an American bowling alley if cows went extinct.

That being said this series of volcanic islands facilitates a smooth transition into foreign lands.

Horta on Faial in the Azores

The town of Horta on the island of Faial is either the first or the last land boats making the trans-Atlantic crossing will see, despite the location of the small island of Flores, due to its’ large marina. This insures a constant stream of new faces to the town and if you sit in one place for any period of time you will hear at least one language you can’t identify among the many, more common foreign ones. Peter’s is a bar that caters specifically to the seafaring crowd and is incredibly popular for those looking to sing sea shanties, drunkenly hit on hot German girls and generally revel in being a sailor. Many people leave mementos of their passing vessels on the establishments walls but any boat that is staying in the area for more than just a quick stop will take it’s time to leave a more permanent mark.

I wuz here

The walls and even the ground of the pier are covered in hundreds of hand painted, well-executed versions of “I wuz here” with the name of the boat and crew as well as the year they landed. This gives the whole marina a very pleasing patchwork quilt quality and it’s easy to spend part of an afternoon trying not to run into the tourists who are looking at them instead of where they are going.

Getting away from town and the three c’s I discovered will have to wait until I’ve extracted myself from the laundry room. I’m speaking of course, of cheese, church and the much venerated church of cheese. Needless to say, I’m having a wonderful time.

Seven years ago, my neighbour and my ten year old self were sprawled on her bedroom floor, drawing criminals. (Don’t ask me why; I’ve never been normal).

I vividly remember her saying ” Give him joint eyebrows, criminals always have them”.

I paused. ” I have a unibrow”.

” Oh. I never noticed”. Even the crickets went quiet. ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say you’re a criminal”.

I thought I had eyebrows like Camilla Belle. And then I looked into the mirror.

Credit: http://camilla-belle.net/gallery1/displayimage.php?album=251&pos=1

This is a hilarious must see review of the porno that Teresa Strasser recommended a few days ago on the Adam Carolla podcast which is the porn version of the Brady Bunch.  The thing that is truly amazing  about this video is the massive uni-brow that the fat weirdo doing the review is sporting.  Adam Carolla’s eye brows don’t have a thing on this guy’s.  Check out this douche bag’s facial hair too…there’s no way in hell that this is his natural color I bet he did the dye job himself.  That shh looks like Velcro glued to his chin.  Anyway the porn itself looks pretty good and the famous hedge hog, Ron Jeremy even makes an appearance, which I’m not sure is a good thing at this point in the mans life, but regardless check it out.

Happy Birthday, Frida!

I gotta give her mad props for the glorious unibrow alone, but she rocked the world with her strong and vocal opinions on politics, Mexican and folk art, and the role of woman in society.

I decided to recreate her signature look (braid in hair, white blouse with shawl and flowers in the hair) in honor of her birthday.

original pic

my version.

Oh, how the beau laughed when he walked in on me drawing on my Frida-brow!

For more information on the inspiring painter, visit the Complete Works site, the “Kahlo Museum,” or this amazing lady’s Influential Women Artists’ site (thanks, Suzie Q.!).

UPDATE! While perusing the internet I stumbled across this amazing little girl’s Frida-inspired birthday party! le swoon!

Picture by: dunno source. Submitted by: dunno source via Fail Uploader

Rolando Villazon

Now, this evening, my beautiful seven-year-old son was brushing his teeth for bed, and started crying as he looked at himself in the mirror, because he remembered that some punkass punk  in his 1st grade class made fun of his eyebrows — called him a unibrow. I knew this was coming, because he has the famous Sanchez eyebrows that run in the latin side of my family. It’s going to be a while before he grows into them, but when he does, watch out! Under those eyebrows, he’s got these enormous, expressive dark eyes. He’s going to be killer.

David Byrne

He’s asleep now, and I’m on the internet collecting pictures of gorgeous men (plus Frida Kahlo) with prominent eyebrows, so that when he wakes up, I can show him. I don’t want him to think he needs to change a thing about himself.

I know that kids can be cruel, and what I really want to do is help him

George Harrison

 to feel confident about this, so that he can return fire with something funny. So, I’m also trying to think of some good come-backs for him that he can keep in his back pocket if the occasion arises again. If you can think of any good one-liners, I would love to hear them! I’m too Mama Lion right now to come up with anything that will not reduce the little fucker to mincemeat. And if you can think of any more guys who are out there rocking their unibrows, fill me in! These are the guys I have so far.

Buddha

If I never existed …

- my childhood nextdoor neighbours would have enjoyed more carrots from their gardens.

- my friends might have had stupid nicknames instead of cool ones like: Papagouchie, Blockhead, and Unibrow.

- my mother might have had a  belly button  … and I never would have.

- everyone after 1980 in Canada would have had a different social insurance number. (I’m not sure how they number birth certificates and passports)

- a few plants might not be living, but … a few more than a few plants might be.

note: there would be no notes.
… you’d probably just be reading someone else’s thoughts … in a non psychic way hopefully.

double note: don’t worry, I haven’t been playing on those mood swings.

triple note: I hear pushing up daisies   isn’t much fun.

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Club Penguin Times is going to have a list of things for people to do on Club Penguin every week until mid September.

The penguin on the far left has a unibrow, I’ll be sure to contact Club Penguin Support and ask if they could remove it.

-Karpolo

Since the 5th grade, when I began my dating career and had my first closed-mouth kiss, I have been developing some pretty serious opinions about guys and the things they should and shouldn’t do. From fashion choices to their decisions about personal hygiene, it seems that some members of the male sex are still confused and clueless when it comes to putting themselves together. Below are six common mistakes guys make when trying to bring on the sex appeal that only end up looking, well, really unappealing. Take note, guys.

Chewing/Spitting Tobacco:
In the timeless film “Clueless,” Cher explains that drawing attention to your mouth is the number one way to draw the attention of a member of the opposite sex. I would agree, for the most part, unless we’re talking about chewing tobacco. When I see a guy spit that horrific brown goo into an empty Poland Springs bottle, or pack that junk into his lower lip, I want to vomit. If you must give in to your oral fixation, chew some gum or suck on a lollipop. Turquoise Orbit is my favorite, if you’re interested.

Wife beaters and too-tight muscle T’s:
I totally understand that guys work hard in the gym, grunting and groaning and pumping iron until they are ready to pop a blood vessel, and that they are proud to show their goods off. But wearing regular clothing can be equally revealing. Wife beaters belong at the Jersey Shore, or in bed if you don’t feel like hitting the sheets shirtless. And too-tight muscle T’s are just a recipe for bad sweat stains. Steer clear of both.

Unibrows:
If you have one long eyebrow instead of two separate ones, it is time to do something about it. Beware, however, of the overly arched/styled brow, as these are only for girls. And I’m not talking about shaving, so put away the razor unless you want your forehead to be as spiky as your cheeks on the third day. Tweezers are your friend, and wax can be utilized as well, as long as you put yourself in the care of the right individual.

Big chains or any other kind of bling (especially in the ears):
Now I’m not a believer that jewelry is only for women, and I’ll admit that I sometimes find facial and ear piercings sexy if they’re not too obvious. But when enormous (fake) diamond earrings or tacky crosses/nameplates/link-chains make their way into the picture, you’ve gone too far.

Ponytails or hair that falls below your shoulder paired with headbands/scrunchies/bandanas/etc:
This is something that I feel very passionately about. Unless you are David Beckham, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp (or have their chiseled perfection and generally attractive appearance), keep it short. And this goes for uncontrollable facial hair as well. If it’s long enough to twirl or braid, it’s too long.

Pants that do not fit:
This goes for baggy and saggy bottoms as well as the skinny jeans that we’re seeing on the runways and on the bodies of many male celebrities. Gisele is supposed to wear tight pants – boys are not. This is just a rule. And I cannot imagine that clinging denim is very comfortable in the “upper region,” if you know what I mean.