Make-up?    Check.

Fashionable watch turned towards camera? Check.

Plastic-like hand with different skin-tone than arm?  Check.

Black bow-tie arm-bandy thing?    Check.  Confused, but Check.

Wax the…    D’OH!!

Uni-Bräu aside, I am still fixated on the arm thing.  If one of these:

fucked one of these:

they would beget the stylish accoutrement located approximately 5:00 from said bräu area.

“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it,” Davis told CNBC. “Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.” Davis says many people have urged him to shave his brows, but Davis said he has no plans to do so because “everyone’s talking about it.”

While Anthony is taking all the right steps to protect his intellectual property rights, he may still have to do some legal wrangling. Reid Coffman, who owns the apparel store Blue Zone, filed a trademark application for the phrase “Fear the Brow” last November and uses the phrase on Davis-themed merchandise.

However, like Jeremy Lin and other sports stars who were not the first to file, Anthony should still be able to challenge the trademark, arguing that it undeniably refers to him.

Number 1 draft pick Anthony Davis is now endorsing Nike. What convenient timing Nike has. . . it’s not like Davis just took Blake Griffin’s place on Team USA. Davis has been known in the past to sport exclusive Nike shoes. I bet he is happy he is getting them for free now. This boy is business smart because he already trademarked his unibrow. Yes you can no longer say “Fear the Brow,” without ponying up some cash.

Not to mention he is already selling “Nike Swoosh Unibrow” prints. With all the money from his brow he is never going to shave it. Sorry ladies. Put down your tweezers.

-M

Word: Unibrow Yet another addition to my spongebob squarepants pile

My kiddos had their finals last night for our neighborhood swimming pool‘s swim team.  As I’ve mentioned before, when the kids swim, they all write and draw over themselves as motivation.  My son, apparently, decided that this was motivational.

I thought it was something like angry racing stripes.  He says it’s a unibrow.  Don’t ask.  I don’t know why either.

Here’s the next conversation that ensued.

Me – “I hope it’s wasn’t a permanent marker.”

Trystan – “No mom.  It was a Sharpie!”

Me – (Blank stare…..)

The upside to unibrow is….. IT WORKED!!

The Westridge Waterstorm won their Finals!  Congrats to all the kids, coaches, and team organizers!

Blake Griffin will no longer be dunking his way over the rest of the world in the London Summer Olympics. He injured his knee during a scrimmage. No one knows how bad his knee injury is yet. He is being examined by the Los Angeles Clippers doctors. They are now bringing in Anthony Davis to replace him. Unibrow fans can now rejoice.

-M

So, now I look doubly freakish.  Not only do I have pig eyes, but they are asymmetrical too.  I look like a Picasso painting in the flesh.  Don’t even bring up the possibility of hiding behind my sunglasses.  For one thing, I misplaced those a couple of days ago, so I have been reduced to wearing a pair of old ones.  And they have green frames.  I think they’ve been kicking around since the early 90′s, but that’s no excuse.  Forest green frames.  What was I thinking?  Plus, due to the recent migration of my left eyebrow, I now only have one furry caterpillar sitting over my frames.  Sunglasses look weird when you can only see one eyebrow.  And drawing one over the left frame is not an option.  Imagine taking my sunglasses off and showing the world that I now have three eyebrows.  Okay, one is down around my nose.  More like a moustache to one side, but still.

Sorry for the whinefest, but I really needed to vent.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Seriously, my eye professionals are stumped.  I will now focus on the task at hand–my three facts of the day.

1)  Speaking of Picasso, I haven’t actually delved into the world of Art for any strange new facts yet.  So, here it goes.  The name “Pablo Picasso” is a good name.  Has a nice ring to it.  It flows.

Unfortunately, for Mr. Picasso–his real name is not quite so simple.  In fact, his full name has 23 words.  His complete moniker is:  Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso.

Apparently, he was named for several relations and some Saints.  And everyone his mother had ever met.

I bet he never signed a cheque.  Who could blame him?

Van Gogh lopped off an ear.  Picasso whacked off 21 names or so.

Which brings me to this freaky little car.  This is a re-designed Citroen dedicated to and inspired by Picasso.  A British mechanic spent six months creating this masterpiece he calls “Picasso’s Citroen.”

Ironically, Citroen does have a model called the “Picasso” (pictured here).

Not quite sure how it got this name–it is rather staid for something inspired by the legendary artist who created humans out of cubes.  There is a Grand Picasso as well and it is rather mini-van-ish.  Picasso was known as a great Playboy–hardly the mini-van type.  I rather imagine him driving a giant phallic symbol like a 1970s Stingray or a modern-day Dodge Challenger.

Maybe it’s just  me.

2)  Like I said, pigs have small blank eyes.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  This little pooch pictured here, however, does not have that problem.  He has the antithesis to pig eyes.  The Marty Feldman of the dog world, one could say.

This dog’s penetrating stare has earned him the Guinness World Record for the dog with the largest eyes.  Not bad for a little lad that was once a pound puppy.  Bruschi the Boston Terrier‘s owner, Victoria Reed, says she didn’t notice her dogs large eyes until her friends commented on them.  Really?  Is she blind?  Is this her first time seeing a dog?

It was these comments that led her to contact the Guinness World Records people and the rest is history.

Not only are his eyes big, but they seem to point in different directions.  She didn’t notice?  Really?  I think she deserves some sort of award.

3)  When I think of a unibrow, Sesame’s Street’s Bert comes to mind.  Let’s face it.  Bert pulls off the unibrow look with style and finesse.  Maybe it’s the lemon yellow skin.  Or his tuft of black hair.  Whatever it is, it works.  On him.

Outside the Muppet world, sporting one large, unending eyebrow is not exactly going to win you dates.  Unless you are in Tajikistan.  According to Wikipedia, the women there are wild about the unibrow.  Apparently, it is a sign of virility.  Personally, I think it is a sign of not owning tweezers.

It turns out that George W. Bush also has a proclivity for synophrys (the official medical term for this condition.  Yes, it is a condition).  During his tenure as President of the U.S.A., George Double-Ya’s unibrow was divided in to two.  But in his early shots, like this one here on vacation with his wife, he clearly sports a Bert brow.

According to a Victorian criminologist by the name of “Cesare Lombroso“, people who are genetically inclined to having one giant eyebrow are also more likely to engage in criminal activity.  Hm.  Not only does George W. prove this theory, but many of TV’s not-so-nice characters possess unibrows (Bert, of course, is the exception.  If I were a Muppet, I’d marry Bert).  But here are just a few of TV’s un-friendly unibrows:

The Simpsons , Maggie, may be young, but not too young to have an arch nemesis.  This is him.  Notice that this evil baby sports a unibrow.

Lemony Snickett’s A Series of Unfortunate Events’ Count Olaf dons a handlebar-style unibrow.

 And, of course,  The Men Show’s Mr. Stubborn and Mr. Grumpy (the ones with the negative traits) also have eyebrows that meet in the middle.

If I had a unibrow, would it stay in place or would I have one giant lopsided eyebrow?  Thanks to my Tweezerman pointed tweezers, I’ll never have to find out.

Photo Credits:  Picasso’s Citroen (neatorama.com),  Citroen Picasso, (carautoportal.com), Big-eyed dog (Guinness World Records.com),  George W. Bush (unibrowclub.com), Simpsons baby (tvtropes.org).  Count Olaf (fanpop.com),

Forget the beard, “fear the brow.” Anthony Davis was making headlines last week because of his talents, but also because of his attitude toward a rather unfortunate facial hair. You can now let your dream of making a profit off of your excess eyebrow hair go because Anthony Davis has trademarked the “unibrow.” I honestly didn’t think someone would ever want to trademark such a thing – but it has happened.

Davis was the first round draft pick in the 2012 NBA draft and picked up by the New Orleans Hornets where I’m sure fans will quickly adapt to the brow. During his one year at the University of Kentucky, fans got very creative, making signs and t-shirts that said “Bow to the Brow” and “Brow Down.” Even the mascot sported a unibrow! He’s not the least bit offended about the attention his facial hair has created; and not only is he refusing to groom it, he’s making it his signature, legally.

“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it,” Davis told CNBC. “Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”

In addition to registering the popularity of his eyebrow hair, Davis has trademarked the phrases “Fear the Brow” and “Raise The Brow.”

Davis has some ridiculous talent, so he can rock any kind of facial hair he wants. I just hope the “unibrow” doesn’t replace the “beard” in popularity. Unibrows cannot be the norm!

I bet Bert is kicking himself for not beating Davis to the uni trademark

But that is really not here nor there. Not surprisingly, with the first pick of the 2012 draft the New Orleans Hornets selected Unibrow Davis.. er.. Anthony Davis out of Kentucky. Chicago kid HEYYY.

I wanted to analyze this a bit. Does this automatically make the Hornets a championship contender? Does one guy really make a difference? Sure, he averaged 10.4 rebounds and 14.2 points a game. Sure, his FG percentage is .623. Sure, he’s a 6’10 19-year old big man with a unibrow that rivals the marketing capabilities of The Harden Beard. But will he have an immediate impact? Can a boy born in 1993 have an immediate impact? Yes, that stat was intended to make you feel old.

Even my Bulls took 19-year old Marquis Teague with the 29th overall pick, also from Kentucky. This boy played one year in college. He was high school class of 2011. Now he’s supposedly ready for the big show?

Why is it that in the NBA only one year of college is required? I get that not too long ago, no college was required (see: Kobe Bryant, LeBron James) but shouldn’t we push the envelope a little more? With the amount of money that is being thrown at these kids is it really a responsible thing to allow them to declare just one year after they said goodbye to mommy and daddy’s house? As Jay-Z puts it “Younger get younger every year.”

I don’t really know the answer and I’m not sure how to arrive at one. There’s no consistency with players that entered the NBA with minimal or no years of college development. You have legends like Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson who developed their skills in college during an age where it wasn’t required. And you have players like Kobe, LeBron, Kevin Garnett, Dirk Nowitski, Dwight Howard and Amar’e Stoudemaire who opted out of the college experience and went straight to the league. But then you have players like Chris Washburn, Mateen Cleeves and Adam Morrison. I know you’re all going jigga who? Exactly. These are guys that had stellar college careers only to flop majorly on the NBA stage.

So how can you tell? My answer is I can’t. I will tell you though that I think Anthony Davis will be successful. *Prediction Alert*. Although he still needs more development, the kid has been through just about every experience a college player needs to go through from a purely basketball perspective. He led the Kentucky Wildcats to a championship title. You can handle that kind of pressure at 19 years old, you can handle just about anything the NBA throws at you. It’s life in general that’ll get ya.

I think I am going to start a mailbag-like feature via Twitter and Facebook. I’d love to hear more of your comments as well as questions or concerns you’d want me to tackle. Also! Sorry, sorry and sorry again this post is coming to you so delayed. I have been traveling the East Coast all week and finding time between video poker in Atlantic City and screaming at cab drivers in New York traffic is taxing. Back on my game now though. Thanks for reading.

The NBA Draft which was held in New Jersey, not sure why they couldn’t be classy like the NFL and have it at Radio City Music Hall. It feels like a college graduation except instead of useless diploma they are handed contracts for thousands of dollars. As you can imagine it is a very emotional event for the players. For the attendees it is a chance to get drunk and boo David Stern which may of them did. Luckily for Stern many years of denial have turned boos into cheers in his mind.

As we speak the draft is still going on but let’s face it only the first 15-20 really matter. After that it becomes what’s his name, where’s he from, and he’s be warming the bench. The big winner of tonight’s draft was of course New Orleans Hornets. The Hornets which amazingly lucked out on getting the first pick took home Kentucky’s Anthony Davis. Luckily I only mock draft for the number 1 pick so I was good.

Here are the picks and my reaction(which you could see first hand if you follow us on Twitter)

1. Anthony Davis (Kentucky) going to New Orleans Hornets. We learned tonight that Davis has trademarked his unibrow which means sadly he will never shave it. I am not sure how exactly you trademark facial hair? Does that mean that James Harden’s beard is trademarked to?

2. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (Kentucky) going to Charlotte Bobcats. Kidd-Gilchrist is amazing athlete but let’s face it he’s no Davis. So don’t see much changing for the Bobcats. At least they can’t get any worse.

3. Bradley Beal (Florida) going to Washington Wizards. He apparently has a lot of high character which I think ESPN speak for he is not a thug.

4. Dion Waiters (Syracuse) going to Cleveland Cavaliers. Kyrie Irving should be happy that they got a good player. He’s needed some support for awhile now.

5. Thomas Robinson (Kansas) going to Sacramento Kings. Was really surprised Robinson didn’t go sooner in the draft. He is an amazing player and I think the nicest guy ever. He is helping to take care of his family after his mother’s death. The reporter interviewed his sister after the pick was made and told her that she was moving near Disneyland. Umm yeah Sacramento is kind of far from Disneyland. Too bad David Stern put ax on the Kings moving to the OC, she could have lived in Disneyland.

6. Damian Lillard (Weber) going to Portland Trail Blazers. So still not sure where Weber is or who Lillard is?

7. Harrison Barnes (UNC) going to Golden State Warriors. This is a may be the bright spot on Warriors’ fans day . . . it might just make you forget your coach hooked up with a stripper.

8. Terrence Ross (Washingon) going to the Toronto Raptors. This guy actually didn’t look sad about being drafted to the Raptors. I feel like being drafted to the Raptors is like saying, “You won’t make any real money unless you get good and they trade you or you become a free agent.”

9. Andre Drummond (Connecticut) going to the Detroit Pistons. I honestly forgot about the Pistons.

10. Austin Rivers (Duke) going to the New Orleans Hornets. So yeah now the Hornets might actually have a chance to be a good team. Feels a little like the Oklahoma City Thunder, a lot of young talent.

-M

So anyone can write their analysis of who’s going to get picked when so I thought I’d make this Draft entry unique to me. Some of you asked for something similar with those who had gotten their Championship rings but I thought, hey why not do it with Draft picks?

What in the hell am I talking about?

I’m talking about the Bug Eyed players who are going to get swept up tonight! Maybe those big round eyes give them an advantage that we’re not all seeing.

And for those of you who haven’t yet seen my original post, here it is:

http://serialprincess.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/the-googly-eyed-big-bosses-of-the-nba/

And who better to start with than Mr. #1 draft pick himself, Anthony Unibrow Davis.

Not the BEST picture to show off his big eyes but for those of you who have been following him his whole UK career know what I’m talking about. Awww…He has that whole Chris Bosh ROAR going on!

Everyone has this kid as Draft Pick #1 and there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that the New Orleans Hornets are going to snatch him up the second the drafts begin.

Davis is a defensive BEAST!

Much needed on the NOH this bug eyed monster is one to keep an eye out for in the future.

Next.

Almost skipped over Andre Drummond.

This one is a little give and take. I think he has more of that Tim Duncan sad puppy eyes thing going on but hey, Tim has 4 rings and Andre is up at #7 this year for a potential draft so there might be something to it. Maybe I’ve been looking at this thing all wrong. Maybe I should be studying sad puppy dog eyes instead of bug eyed players…

We’ll figure it out one blog analysis at a time.

Drummond is one of those players that creeps up on people. He just keeps getting better and better to the point where you can’t ignore him anymore.

He might be JUST the team player that the Warriors needed after this rough season. It doesn’t hurt to have a big man on the team either.

Next.

Mr. Austin Rivers

Sometimes his eyes look normal and then sometimes you get a shot like this:

where it makes you question if he’s one of the bug eyeds that we all need to watch out for. I guess this is one of those ones where we’ll have to wait and see if his eyes get bigger and wiser with age and experience.

Most may remember him from the Duke vs Carolina game. Buzzer beater 3 pointer for the win? Not bad for a freshman…not bad at all. Doc Rivers must be proud of his up and coming star of a son. Hell, I would be too.

He must’ve only gotten half of Doc Rivers bug eyes. With talent like that in the family I don’t doubt his son will excel although I’m kind of worried about the freshmans leaving Duke stuff. I guess it is what it is. If he’s ready to leave the nest, fly! FLY!

Rivers is the fourth player to leave Duke after their freshman year to go pro.
1. Corey Maggette (1999) Kind of sad what happened there.
2. Luol Deng (2004) Had a great year and would’ve been fun to see his full potential during the playoffs…or maybe we DID see his full potential… Hopefully he’ll just come back with full force next season.
3. Kyrie Irving (2011) Doing great on the Cavs and maybe he’ll have a chance at the playoffs sooner rather than later.

And since I have to go to work somewhat soon I will skip to the last most obvious bug eyed player in the draft today and that is Jeremy Lamb, without a doubt.

This UCONN Sophomore has a major case of the bug eyes. Like SERIOUSLY.

A key player for the Huskies win in 2011 it will be fun to see how Lamb fares in the NBA.

And we all know the okay but not great Houston Rockets need a little boost to help round out their team for the coming season. Some think he might go to the Suns or even to the Warriors but most believe that the Rockets will snatch this Sophomore up in hopes of a better offensive game.

It’s like they can see something with their eyes that the rest of us can’t see. Although I think Steve Nash’s injured ego and eye have prevented him from grasping the coveted Championship title but two MVPs aren’t bad…I guess. Haha. I’m just joking.

This will be a fun draft pick none the less. Too bad my team traded away all their draft picks. Maybe we can get some trades in the works after the draft…

DRAFT STARTS AT 7:30PM ET! Or 1:30pm HAWAIIAN TIME!

]]> http://thebrown108.wordpress.com/2012/06/28/im-blogging-the-2012-nba-draft-and-heres-why/ Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:22:24 +0000 Melanie H. Brown http://thebrown108.wordpress.com/2012/06/28/im-blogging-the-2012-nba-draft-and-heres-why/ First and Only Reason: I have nothing better to do with four and a half hours of my time on a Thursday night in June.

That’s just straight up not true. There are many things more valuable than this that I could be doing with this time.

A brief list:

• working out
• reading real, important works of literature
• taking a nap
• doing some real creative writing
• cleaning
• having sex
• actually cooking instead of ordering in
• planning a wedding
• speaking to my friends, who really don’t give a shit about the NBA
• basically ANYTHING else.

Okay, So There’s a Second Reason: Because ESPN Tweeted This Earlier: 

And Austin Rivers’ face is just so punchable.

FINE, Third and Final Reason, I Promise: To See if Anyone’s Draft Suit Tops This One:

There are a select few suits that do challenge this one, but I’m taking into account the era in which these guys were drafted. This is Joakim Noah circa 2007. In 2007, you should not have been wearing a cream colored pinstriped seersucker (with what looks like velvet piping) suit, completed with a paisley(?) bow tie. Dude, I get it; you’re eccentric and a “free spirit.” That doesn’t stop this from being the worst suit I’ve ever seen in an NBA draft. Although, to be fair, I wasn’t old enough to watch the classics like Jalen Rose (1994), Samaki Walker (1996), or Chuck Person (1986).

Honorable mention goes to Steve Nash (1996) for looking like he needs his lunch money stolen in a suit that magically turns from navy blue to black to brown over the course of one night. Bravo, Mr. Nash. Bravo:

I’m sure you’re all awaiting my thoughts on this year’s crop of unsuspecting NBA prospects.

On the eve of the 2012 NBA Draft, projected number 1 pick Helga Pataki rrrrrr….Anthony Davis from Kentucky University made headlines as he trademarked the phrases “Fear the Brow” and “Raise the Brow.”

Everyone is hating on Anthony Davis’s unibrow telling him he has to shave it, cut it off, or even burn it. But I’m with Anthony on this one: keep the unibrow! It’s what makes Anthony Davis unique. It defines him. Don’t shy away from the brow, embrace it. Anthony Davis is going to face a lot of criticism as an NBA player throughout his career (as any professional athlete does). Is he going to be the type who faces up to the nay-sayers and the backlash, or is he going to fold under the pressure and just “shave it off.”

Wear that unibrow proudly Mr. Davis. In fact grow it out as bushy as possible. Go big or go home.

Viva La Uni-brow!