Yes, of course the massively butch Die Hard coupled with the overly 80s don’t-feed-after-midnight Gremlins double bill on tonight would give any other event a run for its money. Bar one. See You Next Tuesday, a festival of female dubstep favourites, is on tonight as a part of the V Day fundraising activities. The V Day organisers fight violence against women worldwide, and in the UK have been the group responsible for bringing the sold old Vagina Monologues to town.

Go because it’s Christmas and this is the org you want to support. Go because you love dubstep. Go because you feel clever telling people you were at See You Next Tuesday last night. Either way, read on here, and see you there!

If you’re up for a bit of mid-week madness, head over to Cargo in Shoreditch on Tuesday night for some tunes mixed by an all female lineup. (It’s Christmas week anyway!) The event is organised by Chris McShee to support See You Next Tuesday, a series V-Day events coming up in March that highlight the ongoing issue of violence against women.

Cargo’s a great night out if you haven’t been. It might be a bit cold for the graffiti-walled outdoor patio and dance floor, but the venue has a cool, vibe and is definitely worth a visit. For more on the lineup, check out the event page on Cargo’s website.

(Here’s a shot of the Cargo graffiti from my last visit…)

Place: Cargo, 83 Rivington St., Shoreditch EC2A 3AY
Date: Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Time: 8pm – 1am
Cost: Limited early bird tickets are £5 or £6 at the door

Facebook event page

Eve Ensler, writer and creator of the infamous Vagina Monologues has done much more for the world than teach women to reclaim the word cunt. As an activist fighting for women’s rights she has used many forums to fight for these rights. Most famous for her play, misunderstood by many, Eve Ensler has created an organization VDAY that fights to create a safe world for women to live in. Like a mantra VDAY’s mission emanates power, and strength.

Directly from the website, VDAY’s mission reads:

V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.

V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.

V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.

V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities.

V-Day is a catalyst: By raising money and consciousness, it will unify and strengthen existing anti-violence efforts. Triggering far-reaching awareness, it will lay the groundwork for new educational, protective, and legislative endeavors throughout the world.

V-Day is a process: We will work as long as it takes. We will not stop until the violence stops.

V-Day is a day. We proclaim Valentine’s Day as V-Day, to celebrate women and end the violence.

V-Day is a fierce, wild, unstoppable movement and community. Join us!

A powerful organization must create a spirit for activists to become a part of, and VDAY has done just that. There is a lot we can do as a community to fight against abuse, and VDAY is one outlet of doing so. VDAY clubs are very popular on college campuses, and they are very effective. You can look and see if your college has one, but if not you can look into starting one for yourself. There are many local events, and the website gives many ideas of how you can live the spirit of VDAY every day. An all encompassing organization, there is a section called VMEN, started and created by men to fight against this abuse. VDAY is not just an organization focused on stopping abuse in America, but has strong ties to other countries, especially Africa.

VDAY is doing a great thing be helping to end abuse, but I believe the Vagina Monologues play a crucial role as well. Women need to learn to love themselves before they can stop abuse. The Vagina Monologues was an attempt at giving women back their power to love themselves. Some may have misunderstood the “crudeness” of talking about vaginas, but the vagina was merely as symbol of what is ultimately woman. The Vagina is something that we as women need to embrace, because it is our life, and our spirit. It is what makes us unique.

Peace, Love, and ({})’s,

Bitter Barbies

Each year, college campuses around the country hold productions of Eve Enslers’ The Vagina Monologues, a series of first person monologues delivered by women that focus on a wide variety of topics – love, sexuality, abuse – and has inspired something of a grassroots movement in V-Day, an event held in early February to raise awareness of violence against women.

This year, Temple is hosting its own production, and I’ll be a part of it.  My name is Renee Cree, and I’m a writer in Temple’s communications department.  I have not been on stage in almost 10 years, and that was as a nun in the Sound of Music.  Now I’ll be portraying a Bosnian rape victim, who talks about her attacks at the hands of invading soldiers.

A bit of a switch, I’ll admit.  But I’ll be documenting it here on CherryTArts.  Feel free to follow along as I navigate my way through the theatrical process for the first time in a decade, and try to become a person I know nothing about.

First rehersal is this Sunday night.  Wish me luck!

~ Renee

E’ una bella canzone di Marco Masini di qualche tempo fa, ma sempre attuale.

Infatti esprime la rabbia contro l’ingiustizia e la prevaricazione di un sistema che evidentemente l’artista ha sperimentato sulla sua pelle. Nel contempo questa rabbia è costruttiva e propositiva: sprona a combattere, reagire per cercare di cambiare le cose. Con onestà, impegno ed amore. E poi è il degno epiteto per tutti i caporali del mondo.

Beppe Grillo potrebbe farne l’inno per futuri V-Day che, mi auguro, verranno a breve. Visto che quello appena concluso con grande  successo toccava solo alcuni, pochi temi “caldi” : elezione diretta dei candidati, espulsione di deputati con condanne e non eleggibilità dopo due legislazioni consecutive.

Resta il grosso dei problemi: smantellare “La Casta”. Perchè così com’è è fonte solo di debiti , perpetua collusioni ed inefficienze, alimenta privilegi ,malaffare e immobilità, riversa sui contribuenti  una valanga di gabelle ed è di pessimo esempio.

Il mondo politico ha reagito alla manifestazione bollandola come “qualunquista” “populista” “delegittimante”. Alcuni benpensanti , nel Vaffa(esecrato perchè volgarità)hanno sottolineato la matrice qualunquista. In realtà ne hanno avuto paura ed hanno cercato   di minimizzare e delegittimare la manifestazione anche con il solito ausilio dei media amici.

E’ ovvio quindi, che bisogna perseguire su questa strada.

Concludo. rifacendomi ad un post di qualche giorno fa: “quale è più osceno” .

Qual’è più osceno un vaffanculo o “La Casta” con tutti i suoi privilegi e lo sperpero di danaro pubblico ?

Forse rischio di essere pedante e noioso nel ribadire il solito concetto, ma a mio avviso non ci possono essere cambiamenti sostanziali nella nostra società se non si opera un “risanamento moralizzante” nel sistema di potere. L’uomo politico deve essere un esempio positivo a cui fare riferimento, altrimenti tutti possono sentirsi autorizzati a riprodurre, in piccolo, un sistema ormai marcio ed arroccato su se stesso.

☼ 12 settembre 2007

Vagina season is coming.

Preparations have kicked off for V-Day London events, so I showed up at the first meeting this week to get a sneak peek at the plans.

See You Next Tuesday is the title of an exciting new two-week festival surrounding V-Day, masterminded by Emma Jane Richards and Annie Saunders. Londoners are invited to celebrate women and open their eyes to a different world at the New Players Theatre. It’s V-Day on steroids, pumped up with comedy, screenings, theatre, cabaret, workshops and tea time discussions… and, of course, the hilarious and heart-wrenching Vagina Monologues and A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant and a Prayer.

“This festival is like a playground,” Emma Jane explained to us, tapping her red pencil against a notepad that was scribbled with ideas. “It’s somewhere fun where you feel safe and comfortable to enter the doors. It’s all about entertainment with a conscience. You’ve got to open your eyes to what’s around you. We want it to be inviting, engaging to a person on the street, to someone who doesn’t necessarily understand post-feminism or wherever it is we are at right now.”

In other words, anything that celebrates women or highlights violence against women goes. Ideas were tossed around for everything from photo exhibitions to female comedians to lessons in cooking Congolese food.

V-Day creator Eve Ensler has decided that this year’s spotlight remains on the plight of the women in the Democratic Republic of Congo who continue to face incredible amounts of violence, especially rape and the consequences of other war crimes.

So, for a worthy cause and some good laughs, rack your brain and come up with a unique idea or two in order to get involved or simply volunteer a few hours of your time standing in front of a tube station handing out flyers. (Men are more than welcome too!)

Events kick off on 8^th March 2010, International Women’s Day and run until the 20th.

To pitch an idea, volunteer your time or make a donation, please contact Emma Jane at pitch@vdaylondon.com

For more information on V-Day around the world, check out: http://www.vday.org/

Today is Veteran’s Day, a day to honor the heroes who so valiantly serve to protect our freedoms. It is important to remember that it is not just the soldiers themselves that we honor, but their families, their loved one’s, who sacrifice as well.

During a recent visit to the Midwest, we had the opportunity to visit with some friends of the family. We had met their patriarch in numerous occasions before, but on this visit, he shared with us a story that we had heard from his family, but that he himself rarely shared.

A member of the Greatest Generation, like every American during WWII, he left his family’s farm and headed off to war. He wasn’t a young teenager, instead a man approaching 30. Leaving for war, his mother handed him a small pocket Bible. Sixty-five years later, he reaches into his pocket, and pulls that Bible out.

Slowly displaying that Bible in our direction, he tells how he had arrived in Europe, how he stood up in a Jeep, how an enemy’s bullet pierced through that Bible, and how because of that Bible, the trajectory if the bullet was altered away from his heart! A mother’s gift and God’s Hand! That Bible is in his pocket every day, the bullet hole clearly visible to those he shows it to on rare occasions.

When we pay tribute today to our great veterans, we should take the time to remember the families of those Veterans for their great sacrifice as well.

Le mercredi 25 novembre 2009 à 20H00, Artcurial Briest Poulain F.Tajan organise chez Forum Diffusion une vente aux enchères au profit de l’association V-Day et de la FIDH. Le V-Day* est un mouvement international créé pour mettre fin à la violence contre les femmes, il encourage des manifestations originales afin de sensibiliser le public, collecter des fonds et revitaliser l’énergie des organisations existantes.
Défricheur dans le domaine du mobilier contemporain depuis plus de 30 ans, Forum Diffusion a donc souhaité, en ce 25 novembre “Journée contre toutes violences faites aux femmes”de soutenir cette cause. Pour François Basilien, responsable du show-room de Forum Diffusion ” Si notre métier est un territoire protégé et privilégié, il est encore plus légitime et urgent de lui donner un sens. Dans un monde sans cesse plus violent, l’action de V-Day nous rappelle que la violence faite aux femmes ne connaît ni les distances, ni les frontières” . Artcurial Briest Poulain F.Tajan a immédiatement répondu présent à l’appel de V-Day et de Forum Diffusion. Maître Stéphane Aubert, commissaire priseur, chez Artcurial Briest Poulain F.Tajan,  assurera la vente : une sélection par François Basilien de prototypes, pièces rares, uniques ou en série ultra limitée dont le catalogue est disponible en ligne dès maintenant sur le site d’Artcurial.

Vente aux enchères chez Forum Diffusion au profit de V-Day et de la FIDH

Mercredi 25 novembre 2009
À partir de 20H00
Commissaire-priseur : Stéphane Aubert

Forum Diffusion
55 rue Pierre Nemours
75017 Paris
Tel 01 43 80 62 00
M° Pereire

www.forumdiffusion.fr

Invitée d’honneur : Eve Ensler, auteur des “Monologues du vagin”, militante et fondatrice de l’association V-Day.

Remerciements : François Tajan, Co-Président d’Artcurial et commissaire priseur, Marie Cécile Renauld, Présidente de V-Day  France,  Stéphanie Bataille, Vice-présidente de V-Day  France, comédienne, écrivain et citoyenne du monde. Marie-Astrid Perimony directrice de production pour MCR Productions, François Basilien et Maître Stéphane Aubert.

* Le V-Day International. *Lorsque Eve Ensler a commencé à jouer sa pièce “Les Monologues du Vagin” en 1996 à New York, des centaines de femmes sont venues lui raconter leurs histoires de violences et d’abus. C’est de là qu’elle a eu l’idée de créer cette association, en 1998. V-Day est un mouvement mondial visant à mettre fin aux violences contre les femmes et les jeunes filles et à sensibiliser l’opinion publique à ces problèmes. L’association, à l’initiative d’Eve Ensler, permet à des bénévoles d’organiser dans le monde entier des représentations exceptionnelles des «Monologues du Vagin» pour sensibiliser le public, récolter des fonds et soutenir les associations qui luttent contre la violence.

Le mouvement V-Day est de plus en plus présent partout dans le monde, dans 130 pays de l’Europe à l’Asie, en passant par l’Afrique, les Caraïbes et toute l’Amérique du Nord. V-Day est une association à but non lucratif qui distribue les fonds récoltés à des associations locales, nationales et internation ales.

Chaque année, V-Day soutient et aide plus particulièrement une cause dans le monde. La campagne de 2009, qui sera reconduite en 2010, «Stop au viol de notre ressource la plus précieuse» a été lancée par V-Day et l’Unicef en septembre 2007 pour dénoncer les violences faites aux femmes et aux jeunes filles en République Démocratique du Congo et dans le but de créer des maisons d’accueil pour les victimes de violence dans le pays afin de leur donner la chance de se reconstruire.

L’association V-Day France a été créée en 2003 et organise chaque année des événements exceptionnels dont les bénéfices sont reversés à plusieurs associations en France et 10% à la campagne annuelle du V-Day. Forum Diffusion a exprimé le souhait d’organiser une vente dont l’intégralité des bénéfices sera reversée à V-Day. À notre tour, nous souhaitons en faire bénéficier la Fédération Internationale des Ligues des Droits de l’Homme afin de soutenir leur campagne “L’Afrique pour les droits des femmes”. C’est pourquoi 50% des bénéfices de la vente leur seront reversés.

www.vday.org

Depuis 1977, Forum Diffusion distribue une sélection exclusive du design international adressée aux particuliers et aux prescripteurs. Aujourd’hui piloté par François Basilien, le magnifique showroom de la rue Pierre Demours propose saison après saison une ligne éditoriale exigeante qui ne confond toujours pas tendance et modernité.
Moroso, Vitra, Kartell, Cassina, Cappellini, Moooi, Muuto, Porro,.. le meilleur des grands éditeurs de design et des jeunes pousses sont sélectionnés et réunis sur plus de 1 200m2 pour une clientèle autant adepte de style que de qualité.

www.forumdiffusion.fr

Contact presse Duende Studio
Anthony van den Bossche / Elsa Sarfati
06 10 84 27 48

press@duendestudio.fr
8 cité Véron
75018 Paris

Eve Ensler, playwright and founder of V-Day, was named one of America’s Best Leaders in 2009 by the Center for Public Leadership at Harvard’s Kennedy School and U.S. News Media Group.  The full list is available on-line and will be published in U.S. News & World Report which will be available on Tuesday, October, 27.

Ms. Ensler’s extraordinary leadership during 2009 includes getting California’s Governator Schwarzennegger to back down on shuttering domestic violence shelters.  The V-Day protest scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled because the Governator signed legislation which will provide $16.3 million to keep the shelters open.  Bravo to everyone who answered Ms. Ensler’s V-Day call to action!

Congratulations, Eve!  Well deserved!  Bravo!

Here’s the article by Alex Kingsbury about Ms. Ensler’s award which will be published by U.S. News & World Report:

Eve Ensler: Vagina Monologues Playwright Tackles Violence Against Women

Through her words and deeds, she earned a spot as one of America’s Best Leaders

Maria Shriver was on the Today Show this morning promoting the Shriver Report about the changing role of women in America.  It is hard to reconcile how this feminist First Lady can keep silent while her Governator husband Arnold Schwarzenegger is closing domestic violence shelters in California.  Eve Ensler took him to school in the Huffington Post.

In response, California State Senator Leland Yee introduced a bill which was unanimously passed to restore $16.3 million of the $20.4 million budget for domestic violence shelters in the state.  The bill is awaiting Gov. Schwarzenegger’s signature.

Eve Ensler is asking everyone to call the governor at 916-445-2841 to ask him to sign this bill.

If he fails to do so, a protest will be held on Friday, October 23 at LA City Hall.  Eve Ensler plans to be there.

Pilot Program:  Pro Bono Legal Services for DV Survivors

Barbara Bentley, author of A Dance with the Devil:  A True Story of Marriage to a Psychopath, tipped me off this morning to an article in the Los Angeles Times:  “California Gives the Poor a New Legal Right” by Carol J. Williams.  This very well-researched article cites a myriad of examples of how the legal system can be manipulated as an instrument of abuse.  In a nutshell, California will be conducting a pilot program of granting the same right to counsel in civil cases that criminals get under the U.S. Constitution:

The program is the first in the nation to recognize a right to representation in key civil cases and provide it for people fighting eviction, loss of child custody, domestic abuse or neglect of the elderly or disabled.

. . .levels the legal playing field and gives underprivileged litigants a better shot at attaining justice against unscrupulous landlords, abusive spouses, predatory lenders and other foes.

Wow!

This is great news for people in California who are experiencing litigation abuse.  I hope it will be successful and will be replicated in other states.

Just to draw attention to a new addition to the blogroll. This is Beppe Grillo’s blog, which I’ve been reading regularly for a couple of weeks now. You can read it in English, Italian or Japanese. Grillo is an Italian comedian who has turned his attention to political reform. He is scathingly critical of the current regime there, to the point that no public Italian TV network wants him on air for fear of attracting the furore of politicians, many of whom have a big hand in the media, not least Berlusconi himself. In spite of this, he is still one of the most famous personalities in Italy, broadcasting over the internet (not easy in Italy, where internet access it quite strictly controlled), and when he did make a rare TV appearance in the 90’s the show got huge viewing numbers.

Here’s an introductory video from the New York Times. I don’t know how to embed it else I would but it’s worth watching, please do come back . I think ‘Va Fan Culo’ (or however you spell it) is now one of my favourite expletives. It translates quite well into the fine Scottish term, “get to fuck”.

Each post will typically have a video which obviously is in Italian, I can understand more or less because I live with an Italian and I’m used to hearing it and translating into Spanish, but there’s a nifty little tool which I’ve grown to love. If you go the the bottom right of the video and turn on captions, then subtitles come up. You can then translate these subtitles into English which I believe uses Google translate (don’t knock it, it used to be crap but it’s got much better in the last few years, although it’s still not perfect). So you can enjoy too. Here’s an example so you can see just how brilliant a public speaker Grillo is, it’s a 25 minute video outlining what the movement wants to do. You don’t have to watch it all, the part about information is the best, that starts at about 16:10.

Anyway there are two things making headlines in Italian politics at the minute. First of all is the so-called ‘Lodo Alfano’ which is a law granting immunity from prosecution to the holders of the four highest offices in Italian politics. Basically it was a means of making Berlusconi not have to face prosecution for his crimes. It works quite well in conjunction with another law which shortened the time limit of prosecutions for some offenses, mainly the ones he and his cronies have been accused of. So if he can avoid prosecutions whilst in office, and he’s been in office for more than 10 years, and a law put through by him means that after 10 years he can’t be prosecuted, well then he’s just getting off scot-free. A select Orwellian quote I read somewhere by one of his supporters was that the Prime Minister should not be seen as a ‘first among equals’ but rather ‘first above equals’. Fortunately this Lodo Alfano got struck down this week by the constitutional court, because it conflicts with an article of the Constitution which says all citizens are equal before the law, and a constitutional amendment would need to be passed to pass the law. Lots of my Italian friends are celebrating this, it seems to me that good news is few and far between in Italian politics.

The other thing is the Fiscal Shield. This is a move designed to allow 300 billion euros to move back into Italy from offshore banks and investments with just a 5% tax, which the additional guarantee of anonymity. I can’t stress how corrupt this is. Basically any money from dodgy dealings, money laundering, mafia money, tax-dodgers etc will be able to reenter the country to create a legitimate-appearing front for any other illegal activities. Brilliant. This one’s still going ahead, and the deputies of the opposition parties were noticably absent from the vote in Parliament. 24 outspoken opponents were absent, and 20 would have been enough to overturn the law, which the government had also turned into a vote of confidence, so it was a monumentally important vote.

Anyway although Grillo and his V Day movement is massive in Italy, I don’t think many people know about it outside of there. I myself had never even heard about it until my Italian flatmate mentioned it. So if you’re interested in this kind of thing, spread the word. There are hordes of like-minded people throughout the rest of the world who can do a lot of damage to the Italian government’s already terrible public image, if only they had a bit of information. It’s in the interest of democracy and liberty, something that humanists should definitely be concerned about.

I’m on the mailing list of V-day.org and I received a message today that included a link to a post on their site by Yolo Akili that *really* touched me. I’ve cut and pasted it here in it’s entirety to share with y’all.

Yolo Akili

Scream quietly now or the neighbors will hear you….
Wrap your bleeding fingers
Over your tear struck eyes
Huddle your knees to your chest
And muffle your cries

Watch the shadows on the wall
Hear the curses in the ether
Tell the social worker
You can’t recall
Or remember
Either
Play make up with your mommy
To cover the bruises
Help her fix dinner
And the table;
Offer him
No
Excuses
To invoke his rage
Or ignite his temper
When he raises his fist
Press your lips
Do not whimper

In a moment mommy says this all will be through
So scream quietly now..Or the neighbors will hear you…

As a little boy I watched daily as the men in my life terrorized women through acts of control, aggression, and violence. These same men also worked hard to beat out of me any expression they deemed “feminine” and “weak.” Because of this I grew up with an awareness early on that something was wrong with the men in my world. It was an understanding so simple and yet so precise: These men were in pain. A lot of pain. What was this pain? Had you asked me then I would not have known.

Later in my life, I came to see that this pain connected to how we as men are socialized. It is a pain created by self destructive beliefs about manhood that many of us accept without question. I learned how we are taught to disconnect from our emotions, and that the only acceptable feeling to express is anger. I learned how men are taught that our sense of self-worth is tied to external material and not internal immanent value. I saw that the culture gives us a code of what “real manhood” is and that it is this unquestioned code, with all of its repression and ethics of aggression that is causing a great deal of our pain.

I wonder what would happen if black men
Starting speaking to each other?
I wonder what would happen
if the time we spent
Oppressing women
Or perpetuating rigid gender roles
Was spent staring eye to eye?
See I believe even the most masculinist brotha
Would break in
And cry……

As I grew older and came out as a gay man, my relationship to violence against women took on a very different perspective. My first community of gay men, for instance was one heavily involved in feminist activism. We saw ourselves as feminist/womanist/pro-feminist revolutionaries. Yet and still, we did not see or look into how society still privileged us because of our maleness. Because of the way our gay identity “warped” our perceived masculinity, we were very rarely, if ever, called out on the abusive behaviors we inflicted upon women. Our “diva worship” and idolization of normative feminine performance, which is directly connected to the degradation of women by devaluing women as objects of visual pleasure, went unnoticed. Our domination and silencing of lesbian and queer women at conferences, in the media, in classrooms and in community was not spoken of. We marched through feminist spaces, enjoying the notoriety we got for being men who say the exact same things women have been silenced about for eons. We rationalized our interruptions of women, and stifled their concerns of sexism by crying homophobia. Even though our locations were different, at the end of the day, it became very apparent to me that gay men and straight men’s sexism stems from the same root, even if the tree looks different.

Women are best
In high heel shoes
Prada
Gucci
Vuittion
Will do.
Plastic toys
To dress and style
Swing your hips like this
Make the straight boys smile
What are you wearing?
Oh sistah
No!
Come, my accessory
To the mall
We go…

Creating safety for women means much more than stopping physical violence. Because Physical violence is only the manifestation of a breadth of ideologies about women’s worth, “place” and being. These ideologies contribute to creating climates where rape, misogyny and physical violence can occur. Thus as men regardless of sexual orientation we are all implicated, and we all have work to do.
Apart of this work is holding the mirror up to each other and looking at ourselves. It is what I like to call “healing work.” Healing work is ending and addressing violence and domination with the goal of creating a world where every being can express themselves without danger. It means we look within, and move outward, understanding these realities are intricately apart of each other. This “healing work” is the work we must do now in order to end violence against women, girls, boys all human beings and ourselves. It is the work that always, no matter who or where we are begins with us.

Yolo Akili is a Poet, Iyengar Yoga Teacher, and Instructor/ Trainer at Men Stopping Violence. He is apart of the co-founders of Sweet Tea: Southern Queer Men’s Collective, an organization dedicated to addressing issues of sexism in Queer Male Communities, and the author of the poetry Chapbook, “Poems In the Key of Green”. He can be reached via his website, yolothepoet.com

This is guest blog spot from Tom Puetz. Tom joined the The MENding Monologues and shared with us this piece about the chain of violence and how we become trained to become villains and victimizers. And how we can train ourselves not to be. Tom is writing a book about his Vietnam experiences and recommend you Google him.

A Quiet Voice

Written and lived by Tom Puetz

I remember when I was a little boy back on the farm in Indiana I just wanted to know what made the corn grow. You might say I had a loving reverence for life. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that. I must have because I dropped out of my second year of collage and volunteered for Vietnam.

Yet, as a war veteran I’m not special. So many have suffered a different kind of war.  So many have suffered the private degradation of domestic violence or lost a loved one to violent crime. So many have subtracted themselves from society because of violence?  So many are afraid to show their eyes, or feel unable to touch life without tainting it? There will be no welcome home parade for them, no medals for the bravery they show by simply living through another day. I wish I had a healing prayer, or ceremony that would bring them back into the fold, to be alive again.

Perhaps there will never be understanding from those who have not felt emotional or physical violence. The task of making sense of it all, of giving some meaning to the road we have traveled is left entirely up to us, the survivors of trauma.  The responsibility of breaking the chain of violence by showing compassion in return for hatred is ours, the walking wounded.

When I was a soldier in the Vietnam War I was on both ends of the chain of violence. I know what it’s like to live in fear, to be trapped, to fell hopeless and abandoned. I also know what it’s like to give in to fear and hatred and kill a man.

I had a turning point while I was in Nam. It was late afternoon. I was getting my squad together to go out on a typical listening point when the word came down the V. C. were moving into a village near our firebase. So our company was assigned to cordon off that village. By the time we got to the village it was getting dark. My lieutenant was new, he had been in Nam for about a week. I didn’t know where the rest of the company was just my platoon. Sgt. Horn had a third squad on point. I was following his squad. He was in the Nipa palm mangrove along a canal at the far end of the village and then we were ambushed.

We started taking AK-47 and machinegun fire coming from the village. We all hit the dirt. We were in the middle of a rice paddy. The only cover we had was a foot high dike. The new guy beside me was scared shitless. His eyes were as big as saucers. I guess I was scared to but I had learned to cover the fear with anger. I crawled up next to my RTO (radio man) and heard the CO, probably on the other side of the village, calling for gun ships.

The lead squad was in the nipa palm, my Lt. was with the first squad still up by the road. My squad was in the middle of the action so the CO gave me fire direction of the two Cobra gun ships.  It was dark now but I heard the gun ships so I marked my position with a strobe. When the lead cobra called for fire direction I gave him the direction and distance from my position. When he swung around to make his run he saw I had directed the fire right down a row of huts on my side of the village. He called me on the radio and said “Tiger three, Tiger three ARE YOU SURE”? I had only seconds to respond. As I was about to key the mike I heard a quiet voice saying “No, stop, don’t do this”. I keyed the mike and said “Yes. I’m sure. Make the run”.

You can’t imagine what two Cobra gunship can do to a village of grass huts. It did end the firefight but we had to stay in position. I laid out in that rice paddy all night thinking about what I had just done. At dawn we moved in to search the village. I decided to walk point. The first person I saw was a mamasan. She was on her knees sobbing and weeping. She saw me, stood up, looked me in the eyes and said “Why! Why! Why!  I heard the quiet voice again. It said ” Tom, you lost your compassion. You de-humanized them. That’s why you could do this “.

More than eighty villagers were killed that night, men women and children.  That was the turning point for me. After facing what I had done, and what I had become in order to do it, I could no longer kill without hesitation or remorse. Before I left Vietnam I started to feel compassion again.  That is a dangerous thing in a combat zone. Still I looked for an alternative to my usual violent response.

When I got back from Nam, I hung around Oakland and San Francisco for a week. I was afraid to go home to Mom and Dad. I didn’t want them to see how I stared out at the world. I didn’t think they could possibly understand what I had done and endured just to survive.

There are probably women in the audience tonight who are afraid to tell mom and dad “My husband hits me sometimes”. There are probably women here who don’t want anyone to know they were raped. I’m guessing there are men in the audience who have hurt the ones they claim to love. Maybe there are men here who have been physically, sexually or emotionally abused.

As survivors of public and private wars we know how fragile life is.

We know how easily humans can inch towards hatred and death until all is madness, meaningless and pointless. We know wars start at home and on street corners.  We know there is a daily struggle moving towards life or towards death. We, as survivors, are more keenly aware than anyone of that moment-to-moment choice.

We do not have the luxury of waking up in the morning and simply living that day. We must choose to live every day. Some days the choice is not clear, but it is always clear there is a choice.  Since we have eaten from the tree of such terrible knowledge, the paradise of a simple life is denied us.

As survivors, we know every act moves us closer to love and life, or closer to hatred and death. We know that every day we look down the barrel of our weapons and chose to pull the trigger or not. We know the path to the killing ground is all too easy. We know about the small heartless acts which lead us to the point where we abandoned ourselves to the madness and strike out. We must not turn away.  We are stripped of our illusions. We know that everyone, every day, has the choice to act out of love, or turn towards the darkness.

If we open our hearts, we will hear a quiet voice. It will tell us that the pain we have inflicted or endured does not define us. What we have overcome is only the beginning.

Then we will know that we have a duty to break the chain of violence that binds us by making each day an expression of our loving reverence for life.

Copyright Tom Puetz 2008

The TCU V-Day Campaign is part of a global movement to stop violence against women and girls by raising awareness and funds. Students can be involved by joining the planning committee which meets in the BLUU every Sunday at 2:00, joining the facebook group and coming out to support V-Day events.

Bath Love

Written by Derek Dujardin

Intro: “This is a true story. In 1986, I was nineteen years old, and working as a Lifeguard at the YMCA in Everett, WA. One of my regular lap swimmers was a 93-year-old man named Jerry. Every morning, he would drive his electric golf cart down from the retirement home. After he swam, he would sit and talk to me. About his sex life. Which was over like 40 years ago. But that didn’t stop him from talking…Oh there’s Jerry now. I’ll let him tell it.”

(Derek exits / Tyris enters as an Jerry the old man)

I was married to the same women for 73 years. Seventy-three years—that’s like ten marriages to most of you. (pause) It was to me, too.

At the retirement home, the young kids always ask me how I made it last so long with Maria, and I tell them: “You fall in love many times. But always with the same person.”

I’m the resident marriage counselor there. All the kids all come to me with their problems. This one fellow was having trouble because his wife wanted a new wedding band for their tenth anniversary. The first one was cheap. They didn’t have any money when their first got married, but now he has a good job. But he didn’t want to spend a couple thousands bucks on something that he said was “lavish, extravagant and frivolous.” And I said, that’s the point, dummy. It’s supposed to lavish, extravagant and frivolous. Love is not supposed to be practical.    He put up a fuss and finally I said: “Never mind, kid, her next husband will buy it for her.” He bought her the ring.

You know, I dole out advice about marriages the way they dole out medication, but I really don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. The reality is, I was happily married 73 years because we took baths together. It was as simple as that.

The baths started after my son Daniel was born. My wife was petite. Just a little thing, maybe 100 pounds. She nearly died giving birth to Daniel. The doctor said she wasn’t built to have more babies and would likely die the next time.

He told us we needed to start using birth control. So we went and talked to our priest, he wouldn’t let us use birth control, even if Maria’s life was in danger.

So, I went back and talked to the doctor by myself he told me what to do. He told me to use the Swirl-and-Swish method. I know you’ve never heard of this. When I tell people we did this for 25 years, they tell me it would never work. Well, it worked for us. Or maybe God saw fit not to give us another baby. Either way, whether you believe me or not, this is what we did.

The doctor gave me these directions: He said “Right after coitus, you get your butt out of bed, and run your wife a hot bath—as hot as she can stand it. And then you tell her to squat down and put her fingers inside and Swirl-and-Swish out the semen. Do that every time, no exceptions.”

Yeah, we didn’t think it was going to work either. But what choice did we have? We did that every time we had sex. And she never got pregnant.

Every time she was done Swirling and Swishing, I would crawl into the tub, wrap my arms around her and we would doze off together.

Even after the doctor told us that she was too old to have children, I would still run her a hot bath after sex. It was a ritual. For us, it became as indispensable as kissing. I think she looked forward to my baths more than the sex.

Over the years, I got really good at running baths. Adding bubbles, and salts and oils. We did that until she got sick. Maria passed three years ago. I’m not scared of dying. To me, death is just another chance to be with Maria.

You know, I look back on my life and I can’t remember entire years. Sometimes, it hard to remember in which decade a memory lives.    They flitter about like butterflies. But I do remember those baths.

(Tyris, fading back, slowly exiting)

Those baths.

Those baths.

Those baths.”

(Derek re-enters)

About six weeks later, Jerry stopped coming to the pool. I asked around and found out he had died from a stroke—and get this—he died of all places—in a bathtub.

My thoughts went back to the story that he told me. I liked to imagine that as the water turned cold, he felt Maria wrap her warm body around him one last time. Or maybe for forever.”

The End—————-

A lot of people want to know if this story is true. Jerry did exist. He did have a wife and he did use the swirl and swish method because the Catholic church wouldn’t let them use birth control. (By the way, I don’t recommend that as a reliable source of birth control.) He did run her baths after sex. However, that’s about it. All the jokes are mine. The real Jerry wasn’t that funny or insightful. I added that to make it more entertaining. He was a little senile. He told me the EXACT same story over and over again. I must of hear it at least 20 times. Which is probably why God had him tell me it so many times so 20 years later I could make a monologue out of it.

Anyway, the real Jerry was a little bit of a pervert. My first draft had in some of his real comments and we had to them out. He was a little too interested in my sex life, would ask me some uncomfortable questions and gave me advance that I’d rather not repeat. So, there you have it. I don’t know if Jerry died in a bath tub or not. If he didn’t, he probably should have. I added bit for poetic license. Hope this doesn’t ruin the magic for you. Much love,

Derek

http://www.flickr.com/photos/edoardobaraldi/3922221377/

Terremoto, all’epoca dell’Irpinia le case furono consegnate prima.
“Non credo che siano possibili paragoni al mondo”. Così Guido Bertolaso ieri al Tg1 delle otto. Tempi da record, meraviglia mondiale per le casette di Onna, i prefabbricati in legno costruiti dalla Provincia di Trento.

15 settembre 2009. 162 giorni trascorsi dal sisma 47 casette in legno tipo chalet consegnate. Circa 200 persone ricoverate.

26 marzo 1981. 122 giorni trascorsi dal sisma, 150 casette in legno tipo chalet (Rubner costruzioni) consegnate a Laviano, Salerno. 450 persone ricoverate.

Un paragone, almeno uno è dunque possibile. E trent’anni fa non esisteva nemmeno la Protezione civile, non esistevano strade decenti, erano crollati i ponti. Per raggiungere l’Irpinia si impiegarono giorni. Il coordinamento dei soccorsi fu affidato, diciamo cosi, al radiogiornale della Rai. Chi poteva telefonava e dava le indicazioni, urlava il luogo del disastro.

Si ascoltava la radio per capire dove ci fosse bisogno. “A Balvano, a Balvano! La chiesa è crollata, 80 fedeli sepolti, urlò il conduttore”. L’autocolonna prese la direzione di Balvano, ma si scordò di Baragiano, di Ricigliano. Da lì (altri trenta seppelliti) nessuno aveva chiamato…

Solo i morti di Laviano (300 su 1500 abitanti) sono stati pari a quelli sofferti in tutto il territorio abruzzese. E, per dire del tempo e dell’organizzazione, a Laviano riuscirono a consegnare dopo quasi una settimana tutte le bare occorrenti, e le ultime furono ammassate ai lati di due tornanti di montagna. A dirigere le operazioni di soccorso da Roma fu incaricato Giuseppe Zamberletti. Da solo, quasi a mani nude.

“Eppure al mio paese le prime case in legno arrivarono già a febbraio, una ventina di alloggi con tutti i servizi – ricorda il sindaco Rocco Falivena – A marzo la metà della popolazione era al caldo, negli stessi chalet che sono sorti ad Onna. Per dire: alcuni di questi ora, anno 2009, li abbiamo trasformati in albergo. A maggio dell’81 tutti gli sfollati, nessono escluso, riuscirono ad avere il salottino, la camera da letto riscaldata, il piccolo patio con giardino. In tutta franchezza quella di Onna mi sembra una zingarata”.

Per capirci. Trent’anni fa ci furono quasi tremila morti, trecentomila senzatetto e un’Italia divisa in due. Alcuni villaggi furono raggiunti e assistiti dai militari ai primi di dicembre dell’80 (il sisma ci fu il 23 novembre), gli ultimi morti furono seppelliti dopo 21 giorni. Malgrado tutto, il sistema di prefabbricazione pesante fu realizzato in trecento comuni e in tempi che, l’avesse saputo, Bertolaso avrebbe definito incredibili, stratosferici, supercosmici.

(15 settembre 2009)
Fonte

Qui una fotogallery che mette a confronto le abitazioni “prima-dopo” per una panoramica su cosa è stato veramente ricostruito… gran poco.
Gallery

Image by Sinistra e Libertà via Flickr

L’OPERAZIONE SPARTACO, consiste nel portare all attenzione (quindi pubblicare) la tecnologia relativa ad alcuni sistemi provati in modo molto semplice… e i link relativi, per accertarsi , o, approfondire ogni tecnica…. questi SETTE (7) sistemi, se confermati….ognuno potrebbe certamente dare energia PULITA , e infinita ed a costi certamente molto inferiori a quelli del petrolio.

Questi sistemi, essendo programmabili, e continui 24H/365gg; possono soddisfare molto meglio la richiesta energetica che le fonti rinnovabili (incostanti e variabili), le quali avrebbero bisogno di una rete SMARTGRID, con accumulatori-equalizzatori di zona, per poter essere quantitativamente incisive.

Fino ad ora COME SOCETA’ non per azioni…. abbiamo sostenuto i costi della ricerca, ma non abbiamo avuto i “risultati”. sarebbe opportuno, dato che le cose ora si SANNO, cominciare ad avere anche i FRUTTi, e non solo gli ONERI; certamente il limite presente in questa situazione e’ dato dalla posizione DOMINANTE di alcune aziende energetiche nazionali, che essendo appunto economicamente dominanti: DOMINANO!

…anche le scelte politiche! dovremmo SAPERE, per rimediare… specialmente ORA che il ddl sullo sviluppo del nucleare, sembra portarci a una costosa, pericolosa, persistente e vecchia tecnologia trovata da FERMI ormai 70 anni fa’…. certo la prosecuzione della lettura presuppone spirito di servizio , per il bene comune…. ma non escludo, anzi credo che molti saranno AFFASCINATI dalla “sconoscita” tecnologia. WELLCAME….

SOMMARIO - COMINCIAMO dal NUCLEARE PULITO, senza radiazioni e senza scorie

1. TRIADE LERN N°1: Fusione Fredda con reticolodi PALLADIO caricato con DEUTERIO
2. TRIADE LERN N°2 : il MAHG con reticolo in TUNGSTENO e caricamento ad IDROGENO
3. TRIADE LERN N°3: L’arma SEGRETA ! ovvero Afnio (Hf) caricato a protoni
4. la cavitazione del cloruro di ferroREAZIONE PIEZONUCLEARE da 0,3 Kg di ferro, energia come VARI Kg di Uranio
5. La fine della ricerca….il terzo fuoco dall’ ANTIMATERIA-positrone (dopo il 1°da combustione e il 2° fuoco da nucleare)
   + DUE tecniche che dopo un attenta discussione accademica…
   hanno modificato il SECONDO principio della termodinamica da LEGGE in TENDENCYriferimenti accademici!
6. Raffreddamento e riscaldamento a costo energetico vicino allo ZERO, molto piu efficente della stessa pompa di calore effetto MAGNETOTERMICO della lega al GADOLINIO
7. Conversione in energia elettrica direttamente del calore ambientale mediante l’ utiizzo di diodi NON-BIAS array in nanostruttura, i quali radrizzando il movimento atomico caotico…..risultato raffreddano l’aria producendo E Elett..

Da Non solo NO NUKE…al V-Day 3 anche … OPERAZIONE SPARTACO ! la notizia qui…

So, this is my first post of someone else’s work on my blog from The MENding Monologues. Karen was in the Vagina Monologues here in Sedona two years ago and performed in a piece called: ‘What would it say?’ In the piece, Eve Ensler asks woman what their vaginas would express if it had a voice, including what would it wear, what would it smell like, what would it say to men, etc. It’s a very funny and insightful piece, but Karen felt it didn’t convey her point of view that the vagina was sacred. I invited her to write a counter point to this piece and this is what she wrote. It is one of the favorite pieces in our show and I feel it is carries an excellent message to young woman or any women who has felt that she had to compete with the penis…

One note: The italic is an interviewer asking questions of the vagina as disembodied voiceover.

The Vagina gives the women a piece of her mind.

The Puritan

VO: In this era of liberation, why has no one asked the vagina what IT thinks?

<From Vagina>

Ahem!  You want to know what I think?

YES!

Really?

Yes.  You have the floor… sort of.

Relax!

Me?

Yes.  No – everyone!  That’s what I want to say.

Don’t get so worked up.  And stop doing things on my account.  I’m not as starved and angry as you think!

No?
No!  I just want peace.  And respect.  And Love.

What makes me angry is when you women forget how sacred I am.  I am a place of life, of nurturing, of new beginnings… of Love.  Artists used to write poems and paint pictures celebrating my beauty and sacredness.  Now, I’ve been thrown in the ring to compete with the penis!

What?

Sure!  I’m supposed to be “liberated”.  Equal.  I have the green light to fight for the same treatment as men with penises, for the same opportunities, and for the same sexual freedom.

Problem is… no one asked me if that’s what I wanted.

So that’s not what you want?

I am so much more than just the inverse of a penis, ladies!  Stop trying to turn me in to one!  Don’t you see how amazing I am?  I do so many things.  I stretch and conform to accommodate your needs – I change every month, and you wouldn’t even recognize me during pregnancy…

So what do you need from us?

Value me.  Hold me sacred.

Why have values upholding purity and my sanctity been belittled and denounced as sexist and “out of touch”?  Why is purity “freakish” in today’s society?  Just maybe the Puritans were more in touch with me and my needs than you all think.

Really?

Sure.  I like to keep myself and my sacred place clean, peaceful and beautiful… and organized.  I enjoy entertaining the one I love, but I don’t want unexpected guests!  Who ever declared an open door policy here?  I wouldn’t bring just anyone over to your place, especially unannounced.  Why would you wave them all in to my place?!?

What if that’s not what we planned either?

That’s a crime against everything sacred. Rape is an obvious denigration that shatters all semblance of dignity and sacredness of me AND you.  I wish liberation eliminated that violence.  But it didn’t.  WHY NOT?

Maybe because we can’t control the actions of others or their obsession with domination.

That’s true.

So what can women do about that?

Sadly, maybe nothing.  But you can ask yourselves, “Have I taken my own vagina seriously?”

You wanted me liberated to experience pleasure without consequence, but yet you don’t value or even see my blessedness anymore than the men who abuse us do.  Instead, this open door policy… where countless streams of men wander in and out (and in and out) with no appreciation of the sacred place in which they find themselves.  Why do you give them a free pass?

There’s a double standard.

Yes, but I have a brain.  You should know this.  Stop putting me in the ring with the penis.  In a time when it’s not just OK but actually hip to denounce religion, conservatism, and chastity while supporting lifestyles and choices that devalue my sanctity… all in the name of freedom and liberation, what else are we to expect?

WOMEN, you cry out AGAINST violence and abuse of yourselves and your bodies by men… but what are you doing to yourselves?  What have you told yourselves in the process?

You want to liberate yourselves, but from what?  Abusive men?  Yes!  The devaluation of women?  Right on! Hatred and Injustice?  Sign me up! … Responsibility?  Good Judgment?  Consequences of your choices?  Stop right there!

If you cry out against violence to women, you cannot then neglect your own bodies or use them as weapons or tools of abuse.

Maybe the Puritans really did know what they were doing.  Why are we so eager to slam the door on that?  Sure makes my life easier!

Fine, call me a Puritan.  Out of touch.  I don’t care.

I want to give LIFE and celebrate real LOVE.  I am SACRED.  Embrace that and you WILL be liberated.

V-day logo

Oggi è il giorno della resistenza e di quando avevamo organizzato il primo V-Day.

E continiamo a combattere, con tutti i mezzi possibili. Tipo Marino alla guida del PD.

L’8 settembre del 2007 in circa 200 piazze scesero in strada oltre 5 milioni di italiani. 350.000 firmarono per portare in parlamento una legge di iniziativa popolare:

1. NO AI PARLAMENTARI CONDANNATI
   No ai 25 parlamentari condannati in Parlamento – Nessun cittadino italiano può candidarsi in Parlamento se condannato in via definitiva, o in primo e secondo grado in attesa di giudizio finale
2. DUE LEGISLATURE
   No ai parlamentari di professione da venti e trent’anni in Parlamento – Nessun cittadino italiano può essere eletto in Parlamento per più di due legislature. La regola è valida retroattivamente
3. ELEZIONE DIRETTA
   No ai parlamentari scelti dai segretari di partito – I candidati al Parlamento devono essere votati dai cittadini con la preferenza diretta.

Non dimentichiamolo, chi oggi al Senato e al Parlamento fa le leggi non è stato eletto dai noi cittadini ma dai Partiti!

I wrote this piece for our very first show three years ago and some of the other guys said it wasn’t appropriate. So, I chickened out and didn’t do it, even though it was my favorite piece. Later, in a different show, I did this piece and I had several women come to me with tears in their eyes saying it was beautiful. (Note to self, trust your gut, Derek). Once I posted it on our web site at The MENding Monologues, it quickly became the most requested and most frequently performed piece by third-party groups, mostly by women’s groups trying to raise consciousness of men around sexuality and violence. This piece sums it up pretty damn well.

TANTRA. Written, lived and performed Derek Dujardin

Tonight, I’m going to tell you all about my sex life.

(Cough)

This will take about six and half minutes.

Two years ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. We were together almost seven years and I loved her very much. Sex wasn’t a problem for us. In fact, it was probably one of the things that keep us together for so long. But ultimately, our relationship wasn’t sustainable. We broke up.

Her first rebound after we broke up was with some guy who was a Tantric master. He takes her to heights of sexual ecstasy.

How do I know this? Well, my ex and I get back together for a sleepover, and I will tell you, she’s a completely different woman. And I ask her, what happened to you? And she says: (breathy, three heavy breathes, then) “Tantra. Did you know that the vulva can be stimulated from ten different directions?”

No, I didn’t know that. (Clear throat, cover crotch)

As funny as that is now, at the time, I was crushed. Because I wanted to be the guy who opened her that way. Not someone she had just met. After that, my sexual confidence just cratered.

That was first time Tantra kicked my ass. And it wouldn’t be the last.

And men, you might want to listen up because Tantra may be looking to kick your ass too.

So, a few months later, I meet this beautiful flight attendant in Seattle. She actually picks on me and asks me out to dinner. We date for about a month. Let’s just say my confidence gets restored.

Then she invites me to take a week long Tantra course with her in Hawaii. But here’s the catch: She needs a commitment first.

I tell her the truth; I just broke with someone who I was with for seven years. I can’t rush into another relationship. She says “Fine, I’ll take the class by myself. Hmp!”

Well, she’s not by herself for very long. At the class she meets a fellow student and they practice tantra— on each other—for like five days straight. I innocently call her up and ask “how are you enjoying your tantra class, honey?” And she says: “Exalted. The best sex I ever had. Met a German man named Hogart, I’m moving to New Zealand with him. I’ll never go back to having sex the old way again. Did you know the vulva can be stimulated in ten different directions?”

Yeah, yeah, I think heard that somewhere. (Clear throat, cover crotch)

Tantra kicks my ass for a second time.

A couple of months go by, and I met this really charming woman at a seminar. We go out on a date and she tells me she an intimacy coach. She actually teaches tantra. In fact, she’s goes to India and takes month long courses on tantra.

And, I will tell you, for the first time in my life, I’m on a date with an beautiful woman, and I’m actually afraid I might have sex.

I was afraid we would be in bed together and she would say something like: “Did you know the vulva can be stimulated in ten different cosmic dimensions?”

But we didn’t go there. We end up being really good friends. I’m a slow learner, but I finally figure it out: The Universe is trying to tell me something.

So I start reading books on tantra. I took tantra classes. Did this so I could be technically better at sex. And tantra definitely helps with that. But there’s all this other stuff about Breathing and Energy—and God.

God?

Maybe that’s part of my problem. I never brought God into the bedroom before. Unless it was “Oh, God! Oh God! Oh Gawd!’ while making my goofy face. (Fake orgasm with goofy face on stage.)

By the way, that was the Upper Middle Class Nerd Orgasm. Pretty much the only one I know.

Alright. Back to God. For most of my life, I had this concept of God as Pissed Off Old Grandpa. But over time, that changed into a loving, accepting, supportive God. Except, in the bedroom, God was still a pissed off old Grandpa. And, there’s nothing sexy about pissed off old Grandpa’s in the bedroom. No offense, sir. (Gester to the oldest guy in the room.)

But seriously, after reading these tantra books and experimenting with the energy, I’m starting to see sex and relationships in a whole new way.

Tantra is about connecting and achieving union. Sexual energy is just an access point to that. It’s not just treating a woman like she’s a goddess. It’s about loving her as Thee Goddess.

In Tantra, they even have these names of reverence for the genitals. The penis is called the “Jade Shaft” and the “Scepter of Light.” Isn’t that so much nicer than Pecker, Prick or Dick?

They call the vagina: “The Precious Gateway”, “The Golden Doorway” and “The Flower Heart.” Isn’t that cool? The clitoris is called the “The Jewel in the Crown.”

Hmmm. Just imagine the empowering pillow talk Barry White could have using words like this?(Barry White impression) Baby, oh yeah baby, I’m gonnaput my Jade Shaft into your Flower Heart and then fiddle with the Jewel in the Crown until you feel like the Queen of the Universe.

Then I had a serious revelation. Are you ready? Here it is: I believe part of this violence towards women problem stems from how we raise our children to think about sex. And it goes beyond the words we use.

As a boy growing up, I had no enlightened role models around sex. Who does? Our culture has a lot of shall “nots” around sex, but not very many shall “dos”. We don’t have giant stone statues of Gods and Goddesses and Divine Beings getting on with each like they do in India.

We have my mom saying things like: ”Sex is dirty before marriage. It’s sacred after marriage. So keep you pecker in your pants until your married. End of story.”

As a culture, we teach that sex is dirty, profane and degrading.  So, is it any wonder that we have generation after generation of boys who grow up to be men who gravitate towards sex that is dirty, profane and degrading?

What if we taught boys that sex was sacred?

What if at puberty we had a sacred ceremony, a rites of passage, where Older Men told Boys something like this:

“Son, that stirring inside you is your masculine God energy awakening within in you. That desire to procreate is also the desire to create. To learn. To love. To build your body. To dominate in a sport. To lead. To achieve. That isn’t just hormones to be denied, but nothing short of the masculine side of God expressing itself through you.

And son, one day you will meet you opposite and your complement. And she will test you in every way imaginable. But if you are able to stay open to her, the rewards will bountiful beyond measure.”

What an empowering gift that would be to young men? And what gift to women!

If sex becomes sacred to boys, will not grow up to be men who will not use sex as a weapon against women or themselves.

As said, at the beginning. It seemed like Tantra was trying to kick my ass. Now I see that Tantra just waking my ass up.

In my relationships, I’m endeavoring to see the Goddess with in them. And maybe in my looking, I’ll see God within myself.

That’s where Peace and Love, can really start to Get It On!

———-The End———-

Post Script: After I did this piece, I got a lot of attention. Female attention, which was great. Except I wasn’t able to handle it with the level of integrity that was required or was respectful for women. I felt like a rock star. My inner teenager teamed up with my libido and I nearly undid all the good that I had built in doing this show and working with V-Day.

I realized that part of my motivation in doing this piece was to get dates! When I saw that, I got some help. I actually stopped performing this piece for a year in a half until I could get my inner character in alignment with my outside persona that I was showing to the rest of the world. I’m still not perfect, I still have my bad days, but I’m way better than I used to be. I’m finally at the place where I can start performing this piece again and know I’m doing it for the right reasons.  Today, I have to remain present to the fact that a lot of women project on to me positive traits they want in a man. And I have no right to take advantage of those projections. While I do embody many of those positive traits they project, and perhaps they are more of reflection how I’m being, nonetheless, my daily practice is to grow into image that they see and who I know I can and will be. Thanks for reading.

Check out my article about Hillary’s trip to eastern Congo below, or read it at Women’s eNews here.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

In the aftermath of Hillary Clinton’s recent trip to the Democratic Republic of Congo, women’s rights and safety activists in Congo and Uganda reflect on the hope she leaves behind in one of the world’s worst rape zones.

KAMPALA, Uganda (WOMENSENEWS)–Sarah Assimwe, 13, is far from her family’s former home in Bunia, a city in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo.

Now she lives here in Kampala with her mother, as members of the city’s urban refugee population.

Assimwe is being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s been seven years since she crossed the Congolese border, but memories of her father’s death often cross her mind in painful flashbacks.

“The memories come three times a day,” she said, at Butabika Hospital, a mental-health facility here supported by the World Bank and the Ugandan Ministry of Health. “They frighten me very much.”

When Assimwe was 6, Congolese rebels attacked her family’s neighborhood in Bunia and burned houses there to the ground. When rebels entered her own home, Assimwe watched them kill her father and brother with machetes and rape her mother before going on to slaughter her neighbors.

Assimwe’s mother, Jacqueline Kabonesa, carried her daughter on her back as they fled to Uganda, which borders eastern Congo.

Assimwe may not have known about U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s recent trip to her native country.

But the kinds of suffering she has endured have a lot to do with Clinton’s August 11 mission to Goma, a city in the eastern Congo at the epicenter of a massive epidemic of rape. The sexual violence that Assimwe’s mother once endured there is suffered by hundreds of women and men on a daily basis.

More than 4,000 rapes have been reported in the eastern Congo this year; few assailants, usually soldiers or members of militias, have been convicted.

U.S. Funding for Rape Survivors

As widely reported, Clinton on August 10 announced $17 million in new U.S. funding to train doctors; supply rape survivors with mobile phones and cameras to document violence, and train a special female police force to protect women in the eastern Congo.

The United States has a potentially larger role to play in the Congo’s peace and reconciliation process by providing foreign aid and regulating U.S. mining companies accused of working with rebel groups. It also can continue to finance Uganda’s military operations against the Lord’s Resistance Army, a rebel army now based in eastern Congo.

“I feel that Hillary’s trip to the Congo was a turning point,” Eve Ensler, the playwright and political organizer, said in a phone interview with Women’s eNews. “I think it’s fantastic that a Secretary of State said that rape as a strategy, as a weapon of war, is a central issue. I think that’s historical.”

In Goma, part of an 11-day tour of seven African countries, Clinton visited a hospital and had a private meeting with two rape victims.

One woman told Clinton about being raped when she was eight-months pregnant, the Washington Post reported. Then she miscarried. There was no hospital nearby, she said, so people in her village cut out the fetus with a razor blade.

“The United States condemns these attacks, and all those who commit them and abet them,” Clinton said in a roundtable with activists in Goma, according to the Secretary of State’s Web site.

V-Day Leads U.S. Activism

A growing movement of U.S. activists, spearheaded by Ensler’s anti-violence organization, V-Day, have been working with counterparts in the Congo and in the United States to end the rape and sexual violence that women in eastern Congo endure.

This week, V-Day launched construction in eastern Congo of what Ensler calls the City of Joy. It will be a leadership and development center, as well as a source of refuge for women survivors of rape and torture. The City of Joy will provide the survivors with educational and income-generating opportunities, activism training and leadership skills.

“It will support Congolese women who have suffered atrocities to become the future leaders,” Ensler said.

During her visit to the Democratic Republic of Congo, Clinton had a testy exchange with a male Congolese student at a forum in Kinshasa.

The student’s question went through a translator and that has since raised the possibility of misinterpretation. But the student was represented as asking the Secretary of State what “Mr. Clinton” thought about a Chinese trade deal with the Democratic Republic of Congo.

“You want me to tell you what my husband thinks?” Clinton said, according to widespread news accounts. “My husband is not Secretary of State, I am. If you want my opinion, I will tell you my opinion. I am not going to be channeling my husband.”

While the international press focused on Clinton’s retort, it was largely ignored in Uganda.

When asked about the incident, May Sengendo, a professor at Kampala-based Makerere University’s Women and Gender Studies Department, said Clinton had her sympathy. Sengendo said the student’s question reminded her of how the Ugandan first lady, Janet Museveni, has had a hard time moving out of her husband’s shadow, despite her own professional accomplishments.

‘Her Own Identity’

“I think Clinton was very brave and professional to say that’s my husband, and to distinguish her role as Secretary of State,” said Sengendo. “She has her own identity.”

Sengendo was particularly stunned that the student asked the question during a forum that focused on Congolese women. “Congolese culture is very patriarchal; it’s the Secretary of State, but to the student, this was still a woman. This represents power relations, not only in Congo, but everywhere.”

Uganda’s December military operation last year against the Lord’s Resistance Army has been criticized for making life in the Congo worse, since it triggered reprisal attacks on citizens, including abductions of children and women as soldiers and sex slaves.

“They always regard girls as sex slaves, tools of war, and fighters,” said Felix M. Kulayigye, spokesman for the Ugandan People’s Defence Force, in an exclusive interview with Women’s eNews, referring to the rebel group.

Since December, Kulayigye has defended the U.S.-funded Ugandan mission to the Congo as a necessary attack on a rebel army that was regrouping and had refused to sign onto the latest round of peace agreements.

“Unfortunately, sexual violence has become a weapon of war and when matters or conflicts go ethnic, sexual violence is used to dehumanize the adversary,” he said.

Resolve Uganda, a Washington, D.C., advocacy group points out that while she talked about the sexual assaults by the region’s roving groups of armed men, Clinton did not mention the violence that the Lord’s Resistance Army has inflicted on eastern Congo in recent months. Resolve Uganda says rebel forces have killed at least 1,200 Congolese civilians since September 2008, abducted over 500 children and displaced 321,000 civilians from their homes.

“We were disappointed that Secretary Clinton failed to mention LRA violence in northeastern Congo during her recent trip to the region,” said Paul Ronan, senior policy analyst and co-founder of Resolve Uganda, “especially given that she emphasized the need to address sexual violence.”

Rebecca Harshbarger is a journalist based in Kampala, Uganda.

Women’s eNews welcomes your comments. E-mail us at editors@womensenews.org.

For more information:

Resolve Uganda
http://www.resolveuganda.org/

Note: Women’s eNews is not responsible for the content of external Internet sites and the contents of Web pages we link to may change without notice.