Butterflies eating at the inside of your stomach.  Your skin feels as though it is crawling.  To top it all of, your head seems to be embodied by smog; you can’t even think straight.  Have you ever felt these things?

These are the symptoms of the perfect combination of anxiety and fear taking control over my body.  This current state of mine can only mean one thing for me: I have a drive for success, yet I am bridled by my fear of failure.

For the past week and a half, I have been writing a book.  It has been amazing!  However, I’m honestly beginning to get the fear of “What if it’s not good?  What if it doesn’t even get published?  Would I have wasted a whole break and gotten sore fingers and forearms from typing for nothing?”

Although you may not be experiencing the same anxiety/fear combo, I am more than certain that you have found yourself in a similar place.  Whenever we find ourselves in this state of stress, anxiety, etc, we can rest in the promises found within the following verses:

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” -1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, do not be anxious.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” -Matthew 6:31,34

“Say to those with an anxious heart, ‘Be strong and do not fear. Behold your God will come.” -Isaiah 35:4

No matter what, remember that God is with you.  God delights in helping you accomplish tasks, especially when they further His kingdom.

Whenever we are feeling overwhelmed by fear and/or anxiety, God will come to catch those butterflies in our stomach and squash the bugs crawling on our skin.

He will come to quieten our anxious hearts!

I think I may have an Adverse Drug Reaction report to write out. Cause the Zyrtec (cetrizine 10mg) tablet I took this morning has left me feeling seriously horribly dizzy and downright wonky.

Oh.wait.

That could just be caused by the cold I’m having.

2 weeks already ahhhhhhh when oh when am I gonna recover boohoo aku mau pigi clubbing larrrrr.

And instead of resting like a good girl should, I decided to go through my wardrobe. Just for the heck of it. Because honestly if I don’t do this every now and then, I’ll totally forget what I have at the back of my closet.

Also did something I haven’t done in a very very long time – I played dress up =)

[Mum took my Canon camera along with her to Sabah so I'm left with the stupid Sony which I hatehatehate the pics came out horrible boo T.T]

Thought of wearing this for our Christmas eve’s eve dinner @ Jogoya but it’s just too… decent wtf.

Just bought the aquamarine necklace from Fashion Supermarket at 1U *superlove*. Worn with stars necklace from Vincci.

Discovered this lovely black/white dress (doesn’t come with the red belt) at Fabulous which was priced at only RM50 zomg!

Makes me feel so… me! I know I know I should learn to be more articulate; it’s a Malaysian thing.

These days, colours seem to be the name of the game. Who would have thought purple went so well with orange!

A little more kookiness with a blue/white-striped (looks grey in the pic sobs) ribbon.

If ever I attend a pajama-themed clubbing event, this is what I would wear. Bought it for like 12 bucks or something *bangga*.

Paired with my as-of-now favourite skirt.

Bejeweled off-shoulder top with the skirt.

Turned my all-time-favourite slutty mini dress…

…into a top paired with the same ol’ skirt again, plus a belt.

Being mengada as always.

I know lar, I suck as a model.

Eh it’s like damn frigging hard to like on timer -> balance camera sideways -> run to wall -> pose properly in 10 seconds ok.

Don’t believe you try and see lar.

Still piffed about the abominable quality of the photos pfft =(

Boy, everyone’s obsessed with being young, aren’t they?

Every single day, you experience constant bombardment of commercials or billboards or magazine ads of products to help you stay young or to make you look your best or to “keep the youth”. When did becoming old become a BAD thing? They say age is just a number. Well, age and experience to me are the same things. Age doesn’t matter, because the older you get the more experience you have and therefore the more you generally know. I come from a time of kids who are overly obsessed with themselves. They want to be rich in their 20s. I want to be rich in my 40s. Women ESPECIALLY get hit hard in this market because women already are prone to the whole “men like younger women” bullshit regime, so they’re pressured into buying useless products that save something that can’t be saved. I mean, people make a big deal about getting old already, but this whole cyber tech age is really bringing it to a head. I know some people currently who are like “God, I don’t want to get old” but they’re turning like 17! It’s FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I’m wired like an old man. You’ve met guys like me, you know? They’re just wired like old men. They hate new music, pop culture and the latest fashion and trends. That’s basically me, in a nutshell.

Now, just to make myself relatable to these idiots, I will admit that every now and then even I myself fall for the whole “youth” thing, and wish I could be younger again. But mine doesn’t stem from wanting to be younger to look good, or to be fashionable. Mine stems from wanting my life to MEAN something. I wish I could be 14 or 15 again so I could add a few extra years to my life, extend it to some extent, so that I know it meant something. I don’t want to be rich and famous, I just want to know my life meant something to ANYONE. And I don’t mean the whole “you’re alive, of course you MEAN something to me!” ordeal. I mean the sort of “meaning” that is that people learn from what I say or my actions. That I taught people something. I have so many things in my head that I need to get out and I fear I won’t before I die…or at least get older. What I CAN tell you is this:

The reason why so many people want to look young is right here: YOUTH=MONEY.

Don’t understand what I mean? Let me tell you. The corporations and the big businesses have really come up with a foolproof, unflawed plan for making cash. YOUTH. I mean, think about it. 95% of the market is youth based. Hip new technology, cool clothing and the newest music and the latest movies and toys and makeup. The other 5% are made up of Clint Eastwood or Morgan Freeman movies and music from bands who haven’t yet realized their time is up, and books. I mean that 95% of the market holds the shares because they figured out if you tell someone young that something is cool, they’ll immediately believe that it is and go out and get it, and why? Because if it’s COOL, then their friends have it, and everyone has to fit in. Conformity, cash and cool go HAND IN FUCKING HAND. Most of the shit being manufactured these days is for younger audiences. They say it perfectly in the television industry. The 18-35 crowd. THAT’S who people want to sell to. Easy as pie. Or cake. If you don’t like pie. I myself prefer cake. I’ve noticed that the 18-35 crowd is the one who gets sold to because the only thing people under 18 do is go to school and the only thing people over 35 do is VOTE and WORK. Those AREN’T cool.

So the fear of age is something we need to fix in this country. I say we start with getting rid of everything new tech and high age. I say we then all start dressing nicely, keeping our lawns on tip top shape, cool pies on our windowsills and be nice to our neighbors. Men should smoke cigars on the porch while their wives make dinner and little boys should play war while girls play house.

We should also get me to being consistent with the century I’m living in, that’d be a good start too.

m@rk

Cabaret (1972)
★★★★ / ★★★★

It’s very uncommon for me to be interested in musicals so it took a little bit of effort for me to finally decide to watch “Cabaret.” I wish I could have seen it sooner because it was fantastic. I loved Liza Minnelli as an entertainer in a cabaret who had a dream of becoming a famous actress before the Nazis took hold of Germany. She was spunky, edgy, funny, self-deprecating, and a little bit vain; but despite her bold personality, she was a damaged character who yearned to be genuinely loved–not merely for her stage persona–but her real self, something that she was still striving to get from her father. I also found Michael York as a British writer who taught English on the side to be fascinating. At first glance I thought he was the typical leading man who was supposed to come in and sweep the leading lady off her feet, but he, too, had his own problems such as his anxiety of getting into a relationship with women. Was he a heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or simply a man who had taken a vow of celibacy? I desperately wanted to know. Minnelli and York’s character quickly got along and the film started off pretty light. However, as the film went on and a rich man (Helmut Griem) entered their lives, the dynamics between the two changed and the film became a little darker with each passing scene. I thought the film’s ability to balance between character development and commentaries about the relationship between the decadence inside the club and the reality outside was special because most musicals that I’ve seen do not even come close to reaching such a dramatic weight. The songs, in a way, were sort of the background but they were far from secondary because the musical numbers often connected the horrific events that were unfolding and the personal battles that each character had to face. Watching “Cabaret,” directed by Bob Fosse, was really quite compelling and I couldn’t take my eyes (and my ears) off the screen. I think it deserved winning the eight Oscars it received because it was as complex or perhaps more so than, say, a typical “dramatic” Oscar-bait movie. Watching the film made me want to visit a Kit Kat Klub–cross-dressers, cigars, androgyny, debauchery and all. I’ll be on the lookout for more dark musicals like “Cabaret.”

Galatians 2:21

I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

Have you ever been frustrated trying to teach someone something and they just don’t get it?  Or working with someone on a particular issue and they just choose not to do it?  I know at times I get frustrated too easy but yet how many times do I frustrate God or at least His grace.  To frustrate is to make null or of none effect so it is rendered useless.  Paul tells us that he doesn’t, nor should we, frustrate the grace of God but the question is how do we do this?  Let us look at the context of the book of Galatians –a group of saints that are saved by grace through faith but instead of living under this grace that we have in Christ they are trying to live by the law.  The law could never justify a man according to verse 16 and if it could, the Lord Jesus Christ’s death is of no value.  So let’s not be like the Galatians who Paul called fools by trying to be perfect under the law but let’s understand that our sanctification is from God’s grace.  The way that we live in grace is by letting the word of Christ live in us and by obeying it.

Rejoicing in Grace,

Keith

2 Cor 5:14-15

www.richesofgrace.com

Spotted @ nahright

Download – Vain, Jim Jones & St.Laz – Showin Off | Mediafire

Let me get this straight,
I’m supposed to fall for that?
Just because your hair looks great,
(how do you get those golden waves?)
Doesn’t mean that this is fate.

If I may be frank sir,
You creep me out.
So no thank you monsieur,
(not for all the looks in the world)
I’ll be gone in a blur.

Let me make this clear for you,
I don’t want anyone else,
Not for a fling or a night, just take a clue,
(your inappropriate comments you can keep too)
Go find someone else to bother, someone new.

So pretty boy just stay away,
Your hair may be clean, appearance unflawed,
But if I turned you inside out, well, let’s just say,
I don’t want you anyway, anyway or any way,
Just to be precisely clear, turn around and stay away.

For much of his life, John Calvin had two close friends — Farel and Viret. Farel was very hot-headed and out-spoken, while Viret was of very mild temperament, an instinctive peace-keeper. Farel often came to Geneva and stayed at Calvin’s home, where, sometimes with Viret, the friends would have long talks about theology and current events over a glass. Calvin delighted in the company of his zealous friend. Nevertheless, as time went on he came to see that Farel’s inflexible nature made him a doughty defender but a limited propagator of the gospel. He often sent his own discourses and letters to Viret, whose job was to moderate his language. Calvin himself had been more hot-headed as a young man, and he worked to curb his own tongue.

After Farel inappropriately denounced a prominent woman in Geneva from the pulpit, which turned her whole family against him, Calvin wrote him a remarkable letter:

“When you have Satan to combat, and you fight under Christ’s banner, he who puts on your armor and draws you into battle will give you the victory. But…we only earnestly desire that insofar as your duty permits you will accommodate yourself more to the people. There are, as you know, two kinds of popularity: the one, when we seek favor from motives of ambition and the desire of pleasing; the other, when, by fairness and moderation, we gain their esteem so as to make them teachable by us. You must forgive us if we deal rather freely with you…You are aware how much we love and revere you…We desire that in those remarkable endowments which the Lord has conferred upon you, no spot or blemish may be found for the malevolent to find fault with, or even to carp at.”

Here Calvin draws an extremely important distinction. There are two very different motivations for adapting and accommodating our message to the sensibilities of a group of people. The first motive is ‘ambition’ — we do it for our sake, for our own glory and approval. The other reason we may accommodate people is for their sake, so that we can gradually win their trust until they become open to the truth they need so much. The first motive will so control us that we will never offend people. The second motive will help us choose our battles and not offend people unnecessarily. The Farels of the world cannot see any such distinction — they believe any effort to be judicious and prudent is a cowardly ’sell-out’. But Calvin wisely recognized that his friend’s constant, intemperate denunciations often stemmed not from a selfless courage, but rather from the opposite — pride. He wrote of Farel to Viret saying, “He cannot bear with patience those who do not comply with his wishes.”

There’s a reason for gaining people’s esteem that is not vain-glorious, and, at the same time, there’s a motivation for boldly speaking the truth — that is vain-glorious.

The letters of Calvin and the information for this came from the great new biography by Bruce Gordon, Calvin (Yale, 2009) pp.150-152.

Written by Rev. Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church

Half way around the world lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind when you awake
Is bending you ’til you break, let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes, don’t open ’til the morning light
Baby don’t forget, we haven’t lost it all yet

Dear dermatologists, why does no one provide an email? All I want is to ask a couple questions about becoming one for a stupid paper! My English teacher is the pits and I have to have this by Tuesday, and it’s not working out.

Blahhh, I’m coming down with a cold. Bad day yesterday. Very bad. Took some weird test. He took it too. I don’t think I did very well. I can’t imagine that he did.

Then I’m pretty sure all my friends went got together at someone’s house and watched a movie. I wasn’t invited, but I caught snippets that let me know what was going on. :/ Life sucks.

Frankly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I really think I need new friends, or maybe I just need to be less annoying? Overbearing? Stupid? Argumentative? Because lately, I haven’t even been causing problems, I just say something innocent and get jumped. Example: After taking a test in AP, my friend asked how I did. I told her I didn’t do very well, and bombed the essay. Her response: “Why?” So I told the truth: I didn’t study beforehand, which was my fault, but when I tried to I didn’t know which questions would be the essays, and couldn’t properly prepare. And what does she say? “You did know the essays, I told you.” Okayyy? So I say no, maybe you told someone else. And she insists that no no no no she told ME. And the weirdest thing? She literally seemed angry, and was outright ACCUSING me of lying about not knowing the essay. I don’t understand. I didn’t do anything. It doesn’t affect her.

Actually, this certain friend appears to have had an issue with me lately, and I suppose I should just let it go. Which I’m trying. But she doesn’t seem to be. At all. And quite frankly, it’s getting to me.

Maybe the entire world is getting to me now. I’ve been incredibly forgetful lately. I have to write myself reminders to do things and I keep losing possessions. I get distracted a lot. I can’t remember how to do these math problems.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone’s talking about me. Then I wonder how I could be so vain as to think that anyone would actually CARE enough to talk about me, be it in spite or (though unlikely) in praise. I’m pretty sure I’m just a blip on people’s radar that they either ignore or don’t notice at all.

Well, I thought this guy in one of my classes might like me. I wasn’t really interested, but I was kind of flattered that it might be possible. Then he asked my friend out. It was stupid of me to think that someone could actually have liked me anyway, I suppose.

It’s rather interesting how the theme of this post keeps changing, hm? I seem to be doing a god job of writing about my feelings today, I updated things over at YT and FF.net too.

I should make myself a cup of tea and read a good book. Maybe it would distract me from how much of a loser I am.

Baby, close your eyes, don’t open ’til the morning light
Don’t ever forget, we haven’t lost it all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby, don’t forget we haven’t lost it all yet

We haven’t lost it all yet
We are closer, we are closer

–The Fray

Way back in about August of 2008, I started a blog post entitled, Vanity is not one of my vices, which I never finished and posted because I was waiting on photo developing (oh that old-fashioned process).  I have posted it below for your reading pleasure, but have since found out something very important: I may be as vain as the next person, I just hadn’t discovered what I was vain about yet!

And then it hit me after the 28-week ultrasound when I once again proclaimed that baby girl has my nose, my Larson nose.  I am vain about my nose.  I really like it.  Neal’s is okay, but I just think mine is much more fitting for our progeny.  Apparently, I’m in love with my nose.  I never even suspected it before.

Life . . . what a wonderful time of self-discovery, no?

****

One early morning in May, the most unexpected thing happened.  Raw sewage started flowing out of our toilet, bathtub, kitchen drain, and furnace room drain.  Needless to say this caused quite a stir . . . and stench.  When all was said and done, I lost only a few pieces of clothing (thank heavens since there is virtually nothing I hate more than clothes shopping!) but nearly all of my shoes.  These two pairs survived:

The Danskos on the left were fortuitously at the shoe repair shop.

While Neal repeatedly told me that I needed to get some replacement shoes because these were just too ugly to be my ONLY shoes, I resisted for some time (mainly because of the aforementioned shopping aversion).  Finally, after two months, I caved and we purchased these to create a more well-rounded shoe collection:

Sadly for Neal, I rejected “cute” or “sexy” shoes and just went for functional.  He wishes I were a little more vain about footwear (and clothing and make-up and hair sty . . . you get the picture ).

My jar of make-up foundation has been scraped clean; there’s nothing it can do for me. During a trip to the mall yesterday to re-stock, I was informed that the brand I use (Prescriptives) will be closing nationwide at the end of January.

I’ve been using this foundation since high school. I have pale skin and a red-blue skin tone, so using this particular foundation that was matched perfectly to my skin has been a must. I’ve called all the counters in Birmingham and there’s none left and they’re not shipping any more. One sales rep offered to make me a custom blend that will last a year, which is tempting, but it’s more money than I was looking to spend right now.

I feel lost.

Stupid and vain, I know, but I don’t know what brand to switch to. I feel like foundation is a big commitment.

So, which foundation do you use? Which do you recommend?

"Fooled Most of You"

Politico points out 7 stories that Obama doesn’t want told. So I thought I would help “spread the wealth of knowledge” by detailing the stories that scare Obama. Here we go…

Story #1- Obama thinks he is playing with Monopoly money: What did you expect? Obama pretends to “care” about the deficit but continues to spend like crazy. The blame George Bush strategy only works for so long.

Story #2- Too much Leonard Nimoy: Obama can explain the problem but lacks the knowledge to solve the problem…aka…a big talker with little substance.

Story #3- That’s the Chicago Way- Obama’s West Wing is run by an Al Capone wanna-be named Rahm Emanuel. They attack private citizens who peacefully protest (tea party) and go after Fox News for ratting out the corrupt douche-bags that love socialism/communism. Also, they fired an Inspector General (Gerald Walpin) who was investigating a close friend (Kevin Johnson) and smeared his name with false accusations. Not to mention paying $300 million dollar bribes to corrupt politicians (Mary Landrieu) to secure a vote.

Story #4- He’s a Pushover- He acts like a bully but is really a patsy. We have seen this time and time again. Look at how he has bowed to every foreign head-of-state for a few examples. How is the weak hand of diplomacy working out for Obama with Iran? He’s a wuss and everyone knows it.

Story #5- Obama thinks he is President of the World. Who didn’t already know this? Obama has been on his “Apologizing for America” tour since he took office.

Story #6- President Pelosi. Pelosi has accomplished more than Obama. Both are vain, scattered-brained radical lefties who have no clue about the real world.

Story #7- He is a narcissist. Obama loves him some Obama. In every speech, and interview, Obama never fails to inject Obama into the story. This is the same man who was caught leaving the White House with a copy of GQ that featured himself on the cover proclaiming “Leader of the Year.” Think pathological narcissist.

I would like to add a few more stories…

Story #8 – Liar, Liar. Obama came into office fooling everyone into believing that the most liberal Congressman was a centralist. Obama has lied to America just about every time he has spoken. That is a lot because Obama is on television more than commercials. He lied about the stimulus, health care, Gitmo and a long list of other topics. He “saved and created” jobs and will not “add to the deficit” with his health care takeover.

Story #9 – He’s not as smart as he was made out to be. Ever watch the man speak without his trusty prompter? Stuttering and stammering to answer the simplest questions. How about thinking a window was the door? A real man of genius.

The Bible tells us via the Ten Commandments in Exodus, that we are not to take the Name of the Lord our God in Vain. One day, when we fully comprehend this command, we will seek the Lord’s forgiveness and a Revival will begin.
As for now we will settle for our preachers just hinting around the pulpit about Living for Jesus.
Let me explain: To take something in vain is to render something useless. Even Solomon said, “Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.” Ecclesiates. It’s useless, everything, read the Book of Ecclesiates and you’ll understand his point.
Now, after the resurrection of Jesus and the work of the early church, we Christians have taken the Name of the Lord in Vain. How? We claim to be Christians, but we don’t live it. We’re saying we are something, but our lives tell a different story. If we will live as Jesus called us to live, then we will be worthy to be called by His name, until then, we need to change our ways or change our name.

If you are a new Creation, What’s new about you? “Your Master is the one you serve, not the one you say you serve.” Beth Moore.

Life is 2 Precious Not 2 live 4 Jesus.

HAPPINESS

The Epicurean Approach

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Musings on the Art of Happiness

HAPPINESS & PLEASURE

Are Happiness and Pleasure correlated?

They say:

1.  Pleasure is Quantitative; Happiness is Qualitative.

2.   Happiness is a lifelong goal.

3.       Happiness requires cognitive judgment.

4.       Pleasure is not essential to achieving happiness – here I do not agree. I feel happiness and pleasure are not mutually exclusive; in fact genuine pleasure can be the source of much happiness.

No philosopher has better explored the distinction between happiness and pleasure than Epicurus, a Greek Philosopher of the Third Century BC. Epicurus (341-270 BC) espoused a strategy for achieving genuine human happiness by emphasizing the delights of the mind (over which a person has control) rather than the delights derived from material things (which are so often beyond one’s personal control).

Epicurus’ name survives in the team “epicurean” which is used to refer to someone with elevated tastes and a lifestyle centred on pleasure. However, if you peruse his philosophy thoroughly, you will realize that Epicurus counsels a way of life very different from what the popular use of the term “pleasure” implies.

You may feel that Epicurean philosophy champions the pursuit of pleasure as the supreme goal of life, but this does not mean the unrestrained pursuit of excesses of any kind. Instead, Epicurus argues for a life of sober restrain and moderation in all things. The pleasures Epicurus recommends are those that are easy to achieve and simple in nature. The prolonged pursuit of pleasure is best achieved by restraint and enlightened choice.

It may be the prudent to moderate our single minded pursuit of “outward” success and achievement, the mindless acquisition of material possessions and accumulation of wealth, tendencies to showing off and ostentation, conspicuous consumption and lavish unrestrained pleasures; and focus more on the more authentic “inner” pleasures of life such as happy family life, enriching relationships, cultivating the mind and intellect, enjoying the pleasures of friends and companions, and living on the higher plane.

Epicureanism does not advocate the wanton pursuit of pleasure. Also, you must remember that pleasures and pains of the mind are of greater importance than those of the body. Epicurus set forth a strategy for achieving authentic human happiness by emphasizing the delights of the mind (over which a person has control) rather than the delights derived from material things (which are so often beyond one’s personal control). The fundamental premise is that presence of pleasure is synonymous with the absence of pain.

Genuine happiness emanates from pleasures that are easy to achieve and simple in nature. If you have only a few things, we will enjoy them more than if you had many things, and if you do not become used to rich and expensive foods, then simple fare, which is easier to obtain will satisfy you more.

In a nutshell: “The Art of Happiness is in keeping your Pleasures Mild”.

And how do you keep your pleasures mild?

DESIRE & PLEASURE

Are pleasures in any way linked to satisfying your desires?

There are two different types of pleasures:

1. “Moving” Pleasures

1. “Static” Pleasures

“Moving” pleasures occur when one is in the process of satisfying a desire – like eating delicious food when one is hungry.

These pleasures involve an active enjoyable titillation of the senses which most people call “pleasure”.

However, Epicurus says that after one’s desires have been satisfied, like suppose you are fully satiated after eating a heart meal; this state of satiety, a state of no longer being in need or want, is itself pleasurable. Epicurus calls this “static” pleasure, and says that these static pleasures are the best pleasures.

Hence, Epicurus says that there is no intermediate state between pleasure and pain. When one has unfulfilled desires, this is painful, and when one no longer has unfulfilled desires, this steady state is the most pleasurable of all. There is no intermediate state between pleasure and pain – either your desires are fulfilled or they are not.

Epicurus also distinguishes between physical and mental pleasures and pains. Physical pleasures and pains concern only the present, whereas mental pleasures and pains also encompass the past (fond memories of past pleasure or regret over past pain or mistakes) and the future (confidence or fear about what will occur).

The greatest destroyer of happiness is anxiety about the future, especially the fear of death. If you can banish fear about the future, and face the future with confidence that one’s desires will be satisfied, then you can attain a most exalted state of tranquillity.

This we see that the key to happiness is the effective management of your desires – Desire Management.

DESIRE MANAGEMENT

There is a close connection between pleasure and desire-satisfaction.

If pleasure results from getting what you want (desire-satisfaction) and pain from not getting what you want (desire-frustration), then there are two strategies you can pursue with respect to any given desire: you can either strive to fulfil the desire, or you can try to eliminate the desire.

Epicurus advocates the second strategy of scaling down your desires to the basic minimum which can easily be satisfied.

Epicurus distinguishes between three types of desires:

1.      Natural and necessary desires,

2.      Natural but non-necessary desires,

3.    “Vain and Empty” or unnatural and unnecessary desires.

How we tackle each of these three types of desires determines our tendency to happiness [or unhappiness].

Examples of natural and necessary desires include the desires for food, shelter, health, sense of security and basic physical needs, cravings which will necessarily lead to greater pain if they are not fulfilled.

These basic desires are easy to satisfy yet difficult to eliminate (they are ‘hard-wired’ into human beings naturally) and bring great pleasure when satisfied (“Happiness begins at the stomach”).

Furthermore, they are necessary for life, and they are naturally limited: that is, if one is hungry, it only takes a limited amount of food to fill the stomach, after which the desire is satisfied.

Epicurus says that you should try to fulfil natural and necessary desires.

Vain, unnatural and unnecessary desires include desires for excessive power, wealth, fame, and other egoistic ambitions which have all the trappings of status and prestige.

Vain desires are difficult to satisfy, in part because they have no natural limit. If one desires wealth or power, no matter how much one gets, it is always possible to get more, and the more one gets, the more one wants. These desires are not natural to human beings, but inculcated by society and by false beliefs about what we need; (e.g.) believing that being very powerful or wealthy or famous will guarantee us happiness. In fact, Opulence attracts thieves, and power and fame attract sycophants.

Epicurus says that such vain and empty desires should be eliminated.

An example of a natural but non-necessary desire is the desire for luxury food. Although food is needed for survival, one does not need rich expensive gourmet food to survive. Thus, despite his hedonism, Epicurus advocates a surprisingly ascetic way of life. Although you shouldn’t spurn extravagant foods if they happen to be available, becoming dependent on such food ultimately leads to unhappiness.

These natural but non-necessary desires are those cravings that do not necessarily lead to greater pain if they are not fulfilled. These desires are typically recreational in nature: Sexual gratification, aesthetic desires, entertainment, pleasant conversation, the arts, sports, travel etc.

In the case of natural but non-necessary desires you must approach life as a banquet. Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously, when dishes are passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. And if a dish hasn’t being passed to you yet, patiently wait for your turn.

To paraphrase Epicurus, “If you wish to make a man wealthy, don’t give him more money; rather, reduce his desires”.

By eliminating the pain caused by unfulfilled desires, and the anxiety that occurs because of the fear that one’s desires will not be fulfilled in the future, the wise Epicurean attains tranquillity, and thus happiness.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com

http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve

Appetite for a Stroll

http://books.sulekha.com/book/appetite-for-a-stroll/default.htm

vikramkarve@sify.com

After having only 2.5 hours of sleep (see post below for reason why), I woke up with a horrible headache and bloodshot eyes. Instead of just sleeping for another 15 hours like I normally do on weekends, I had to go have dim sum with the colleagues before “shipping” Ming Teng back off to Sabah boo.

We met up at the dim sum place in Damansara Jaya which was quite a large establishment with plenty of old people already chomping on their breakfast. But seeing as we’re not yet exactly “old people”, it was no surprise every one of us looked downright drowsy and blur at 8.30 on a Sunday morning.

Ming Teng pondering the next time he would be having dim sum.

Voon Yuen decided to skip the contact lenses.

Their “tai pau” is really huge!

The bureau HQ with our first visitor, Ming Teng wtf.

After a hearty meal, we adjourned to Su-Ann’s place to lepak whilst awaiting Ming Teng’s predetermined departure time. Her house is in this really posh neighbourhood – the guard house has a frigging build-in cupboard wtf!! I wouldn’t mind being a guard there man.

Something about the eyes…

Su-Ann’s beautiful garden.

Somebody needs to lose a bit of weight.

Su-Ann darling and I lol.

Her room is full of interesting knick-knacks and art wth.

Sewing ala Soon Seng/Yenli.

My honeybuns.

The time to say goodbye came all too soon, and so we had to send Ming Teng to the Kelana Jaya LRT station and bid farewell. So saddening.

I presume everyone who got posted to East Malaysia would possess a backpack like that.

Right after the farewell, I drove back to Subang to meet up with Yenli and Shun cause it was our “hairdo day”. We were initially scheduled to go to Sungai Wang, but as we were behind our schedule, we decided to just be lazy and go to Summit.

Not-so-clear “before” photo.

Went to Super Style as usual cause no other salon can offer anything nearly as cheap. And quality-wise it’s ok also lar. Beggars can’t really be choosers, so oh well.

I wasn’t sure about getting anything done to my hair, but then it was only RM150 for the dye + cut + treatment so I couldn’t resist. Besides, both Shun and Yen were getting theirs dyed as well, and waiting alone isn’t fun.

Stupid sampat.

“Crocodile” clip.

Yen getting a spot of counselling.

My stylist turned out to be quite the poser as well.

Cling-wrapped head.

They have BOOM BOOM POW heating devices wtf.

She got hungry and decided to go tapau food… looking like that oh god.

Soya bean tong yuen courtesy of my tak tau malu friend.

Hair all done =)

Lending the stylist a helping hand.

Somehow Shun is ALWAYS the last to finish.

Messing around the shop.

Super creepy looking mannequins.

Yen’s bf came just when we were all done – right on time to help us take a few photos and to pay for Yen’s hairdo cause her debit card got rejected lolz!!!

He needs quite a bit of training in taking photos *slaps forehead.

“After” photo.

Can see Shun’s gold highlights.

Random: The conditioner was on 50% discount, so Yen and I decided to share a bottle. And because I’m such a good friend, I’ll give her the half in the original bottle and take the half refilled into the Sunflower mineral bottle lol.

After getting my hair done, it felt really smooth and silky for about a week thanks to the treatment. But right now, it’s getting a bit dry and the colour has washed out quite a lot too. I guess that’s what you get for RM150 sigh.

Swine flu, swine flu, swine flu.. Is everybody talking about it or  is it just written Everywhere.. Some are these days less concerned about it and some are even more scared.

The vaccines are finally here, but only a small amount is getting them. Some even refuse taking them, thinking their even more harmful then the influenza.

I was wondering that if i got swine flu from a outsider and my friends might catch it from me; then it would be my fault?
I’m the one spreading swine flu in among my friends, I’m the one that wasn’t cautious?

Some might think this is vain thinking and humans aren’t that shallow.
But I’m young girl, my friends are young. They have strong emotions, the scars go deeper in. Some can forget, some can forgive, but some will remember it forever.

So if i got it and survived but my friend died after getting it from me, it would be my fault. If i died, the others could forgive and mourn. But if i did survive i would be the one to blame. If i then again got it from one of them i would get sad and angry too for them spreading it to me.

I don’t know anyone well that has had swine flu, only one from my old work got it. But he only worked there ones a week and i ended work there before he ever came back. At that time i was worried what if he had infected me?
He was a nice man but i didn’t like him the days i worried..

…Yes i know everyone is not gonna get it, but you newer know whos gonna be the next victim…

2 Timothy 2:16

But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.

There are those who will teach things of no profit and these are people we need to avoid.  As I listen to Christian radio and some of the radio preachers I think of this verse.  I have listened to men preach for thirty minutes on the radio and they will read one verse and then talk for twenty eight minutes telling stories that make you laugh or cry.  Either way they never read another scripture and the reason this is important is that 2 Timothy 2:16 tells us to “study” by “rightly dividing the word of truth”.  We cannot study a man’s story but only the word of God but yet so many teach their own personal experiences rather than the word of God.  When it comes to what God is doing today we have two ways to go– we can listen, believe and follow man or we can by faith follow the word of God.  I choose to follow the scriptures and avoid wicked and empty instructions so that I will not be involved in ungodliness but that I may live soberly, righteously and godly in this present world.

Rejoicing in Grace,
Keith

2 Cor 5:14-15

www.richesofgrace.com

Hey y’all. I’m Brandy. Welcome to “Chaotic”.

It’s a pretty big transition going from having your own “home” on the web – being self-hosted, having your own domain for so long, back to the simple things again. I’ve had a web site, since I was a teen (early 2000’s). I’m approaching my mid 20’s, so I feel that I’ve grown out of the personal website fad. I’m done with the complicated coding, spending days on designs that I end up hating, etc. It’s not worth it to me anymore. However, I wasn’t ready to give up blogging. That’s all I ever used my personal site for, a blog. I felt too obligated to make it look pretty. Could have saved up so much money (spent way too much on hosting, and domains) over these years, but instead, I wanted to be “the cool kid”, and have my own spot on the web. Those were the days. *nostalgic sigh*

I’m starting a new chapter in my life. Maybe, down the road again, I’ll have second thoughts about the domain thing. But for now, I’m a happy camper on WordPress.com. I could marry WordPress. It’s an awesome CMS, and I’ve been using it for a few years – while I was self hosted. I’ll need to get used to the restrictions, but it’s all gravy. This is me. I’m going to write what’s on my mind, whenever I want, say whatever I want. I don’t really care about grammar, nor spelling. I don’t have time for that anymore. I’m just going to let my brain control my fingers. I’m an outspoken individual. I talk trash. I won’t refrain from holding back my opinion. You may see some things you don’t like. Nothing is going to stop me. I’ll talk about my life, rant, rave, post photos, videos, and all of that awesome stuff, kay?

Perhaps, you may already know me. Obviously, if you were redirected from ShadesOfMe.org, and Twitter (link is on sidebar if you wish to follow me – I follow back), you do. If not, well – take a look around. Get to know the real me.

Feels like it’s been so long, since I’ve properly blogged. It’s only been a month, but that seems like a lifetime. Life has been extremely eventful, a roller coaster ride full of twists, turns, ups, and downs. I have so much to catch up on. But, there’s only 24 hours in a day.

A very Happy 23rd Birthday to my bestest frand ever, Dan. I adore this guy more then a kid loves chocolate cake with triple layer frosting. He’s truly one of a kind, I’ve been blessed and so honored to have him in my life. Without him, I doubt I’d still be here. We don’t get to see each other as much as we like – since we live literally across the world from each other, I’m in America, he’s an Aussie. We’re stuck together like gum on the bottom of a shoe. We can finish each others sentences, read each others minds. It’s this cosmic thing. We have this connection. It’s awesome. Makes us smile.

Dan and I – during my trip to Australia in November 2007.

Keep in mind, I’m far from being complete. I’ll be tweaking, and adding some new things.

Thank you for stopping by. I’m excited about the new journey. It feels so good to have a new, fresh start.

…… Birds off the South in the freezing shivering winter’s cold

Yet warmth of melting North never can forever hold

Stretching wings and spreading wide away it goes

But could never reach beyond the burning ball of gold

A hand can never hide beating heart with rods of bone

‘cause a sided love never is damned with just pains alone

But is accompanied by ever pinching truth of life

Is with blinds to see the floods of feelings eyes have shown

After nights of hopes and that of eyes flooding its drain

Of searching for a touch of love from heart than frm scheming brain

I scratched for hours in vacuum, in the NO MEN’S LAND ….

hand with elixir for my heart to free me from this eternal pain

I wandered for ages just in vain

I searched for ages just in vain

My Dad’s wedding is in two weeks.

…

blah

…

Not blah that my dad is getting married (well maybe) but more BLAH that I have to parade myself in front of family for 4 hours (side note: Didn’t I just do that recently for my own wedding?) My California family can be really pretentious in a weird way. It’s not like everyone comes out and asks “what kind of car do you currently drive, what designer purse are you holding, and how much weight have you lost, is your husbanding making any money, did you finally buy a house?” But it certainly FEELS like everyone is sizing up everyone else to see just how “far” along we’ve all come.

It’s like I have a family full of Penelopes - you know – Kristen Wiig’s character off of Saturday Night Live.

“Ummmmmm….yeah, well,  I am best friends with Lebron James, and I’ve gotten season tickets to all his games before seasons were ever created. ” … that’s my family.

There’s also an oblivious side to my family.

One year at Christmas I came home from college and went out to Christmas Eve dinner. When I got to my Uncle’s house where the party was, my Grandmother proceeded to hug me and love on me (like normal) but also managed to say “Wow Jenny, looks like you’ve put on some weight. I was only ever that heavy when I was pregnant.”….. …. …. and that’s when I thought she was going to say “what’s your excuse?” But she didnt’ have time to even finish her sentence before I was out the door and crying in the street.

Another year I went home for Christmas, and this was after being in Texas for two years. It was Christmas Day and when my Grandfather arrived I rushed out to give him a hug (because I hadn’t seen him in like four years) and he graciously gave me a hug but took that moment of happiness to say “Geese Jenny, I guess what they say is true…that everything DOES get bigger in Texas.”

…

bawling in the street…again.

…

I really don’t want to go home and have the possibility of this happening again. And honestly, I don’t think the weight thing will come up – I think I’ve made it very clear that everyone needs to back the fuck off of me when it comes to talking about MY BODY. But now I’m afraid that everyone will have a new quest, they’ll have new things to investigate and judge.

I think the problem lies with the fact that my family can be very bragadocious. Everyone likes to announce how “well” they’re doing. How many “things” they have. I know for a fact that my cousin just bought a new $500k house in our small town. He’s asked me repeatedly when I’ll be coming out to California so that he can have me and my husband over for dinner. What’s funny is that he’s never – yes, NEVER, asked me over for dinner before. But now that he has a new house, he’s all about having people over to show it off. Give me a break. I’m not interested.

There’s a part of me that is trained to put on the smiling face and parade around like a good daughter and join in on all talk about what’s going on with me….and oooooh, oooooh PLEASE tell me what’s going on with you so that you can tell me how WELL you’re doing. BLAH. My brothers were never good at this, and for whatever reason, I was. They have always hated family gatherings for the very reasons I just explained above. And they have been sick of it for years!  But now, honestly – I’m sick of it. And I would love to tell everyone to just fuck off because I could care less about how their kids are doing in school, what amazing vacation you just went on, and how lovely your house is. I DON’T CARE!

This morning I woke up and actually told myself – “try not to eat too much today Jenny, remember that you have to look good for your family so that they can’t talk about your weight anymore….and don’t forget that you need to still find something to wear to the wedding.”

Vanity.

Low Self-esteem.

Materialism.

It’s no wonder I got out of that sorry excuse for a State when I had the chance. Please don’t make me go back.