Mr Hudson is having a remix contest for his next single Anyone But Him. The song is from his debut solo album Straight No Chaser on Kanye’s G.O.O.D. Music imprint. It’s an incredible album but is only (legally) available in the homeland (read UK) currently. It gets released here tomorrow according to wikipedia though I can’t find really any other information on it. Please find a way to get it and immerse yourself in heartache.

If you’ve got what it takes you could feature on Mr Hudson’s next single ‘Anyway But Him’, which is set to be released in the new year – Kanye West features on the album version but it could be YOU on the digital release.

Mr Hudson is looking for fresh UK MCs to record their original verses onto an instrumental of the track. Whoever lays down the sickest 16 bars will get the chance to hit the studio with Mr Hudson and will feature on the song which will be digitally released on March 15th.

ENTRANTS

1. Download the ‘Anyone But Him’ MP3 Instrumental for free by registering your email address in the box below.

2. Write & Record your original rap over the Instrumental.

3. Submit your finished track to Mr Hudson’s Dropbox (see Right)

The entries will be judged by Mr Hudson & the best verses will be posted on Mr Hudson’s website & online profiles. The winner will get to record the final track in a professional studio with Mr Hudson.

You can enter as many times as you like.

Good Luck!

Anyway, the remix contest says it is for UK emcees, but I feel like if a rapper from elsewhere in the world submits something and it’s super ill…why would they deny it?? The original track features a Kanye West verse (which is dope in its own right and I don’t understand why they’d change it?..but)
So in the light of hope for the extension of personal expression…find the instrumental here and record your best translation of self absorbed jealousy in 16 bars.

Peace and al green love…because.

Friendship is Love MINUS SEX and PLUS REASON.

Love is Friendship PLUS SEX and MINUS REASON.

มิตรภาพ คิอ ความรัก ลบด้วย เซ็กส์ แลบวกเหตุผลเพิ่มเข้าไป

ส่วน รัก คือ มิตรภาพ บวกด้วยเซ็กส์ และลบเอาเหตุผออก

คำว่ามิตรภาพคืออะไรกันนะ…..เคยสงสัยกันบ้างไหมคะ?

มิตรภาพเหรอ??    เป็นได้หลายแบบนะ

…แบบ  เจ้านาย กะ ลูกน้อง

…แบบ  เพื่อน

…แบบ  เพื่อนสนิท คุยกันได้ทุกเรื่องทั้งบนเตียง นอกเตียง  ใต้โต๊ะ ฯลฯ

…แบบ  มากกว่าเพื่อนแต่ไม่มากกว่านั้น

…แบบ  คนรู้จัก

…แบบ  คนเคยรู้จัก

อืมมมม….พูดถึงเรื่อง  เซ็กส์

มิตรภาพแบบSex Partner  ถ้าถามเราก็ว่าดีไปอีกแบบนะ คือ ไม่ต้องสนใจฝ่ายตรงข้ามว่าต้องการอะไร จะพูดยังไงดีนะ มันก็เป็นสิ่งที่มนุษย์หรือสัตว์ต้องการคือ Physical Need

ควบไป…สั่งด้าย สนองอะไรในตัวที่เรียกว่า Physical Needนั่นแหละ

ท่าไหนที่ชอบ กัดตรงนี้สิคะ เบาๆหน่อยซี้…  ตรงนี้ด้วย…จุดกระสันทั้งหลายแหล่ซึ่งมันแล้วแต่ของใครว่าจะอยู่ตรงไหน  แต่ที่แน่ๆมันมีไม่กี่จุด น่าจะรู้กันอยู่

เสนอ….และ….สนองกันไป

เสร็จสมแล้วก็จบกัน

อ๊ะๆๆๆ   อีกอย่างไม่มีการถามด้วยนะว่าพรุ่งนี้คุณจะทำอะไร?  มีโปรแกรมทำอะไรบ้าง? 

หลังเสร็จงานจะไปไหน?  โทรหาได้มั้ย?

ถือเป็นประกาศิท   ไม่มีสิทธิรู้  และ แน่นอน ห้ามถาม  อยากบอกจะบอกเอง  ถ้าชั้นว่างจะโทรหาเอง บางทีอาจมีโทรมาตอนดึกๆใกล้นอนประมาณว่า  “นอนหรือยังครับ/คะ ไปหาได้มั้ย?”

บางคู่อาจจะเจอกันในที่เที่ยวหรือเพื่อนแนะนำ เลยเถิดข้ามขั้นstepจากเรียนรู้นิสัยกันจนกลายเป็นแฟน หรือวันแรกก็โป๊ะเชะ  ยังไม่ทันได้เรียนรู้อะไรกันก็มีอะไรกันซะแระ ทำไงได้ก็ต้องโทษPhysical Need

ไอ้ความสัมพันธ์แบบนี้มันก็จบได้ สอง อย่างคือ

หนึ่ง…ต่างฝ่ายก็เบื่อกันไป ห่างหายตามกาลและเวลา

สอง…เป็นแฟนกันในที่สุด

ซึ่งไม่มีใครรู้ค่ะ บอกได้อย่างเดียวคือ Times Will Tell เหมือนที่เราเคยบอกหรือพูดเสมอกับคนรอบตัวเราว่า…คำตอบมักจะมาสุดท้ายเสมอ…

ส่วนมิตรภาพแบบLove Partner คือมันไม่ใช่แค่สนองความต้องการของตัวเราเองเท่านั้น เรายังต้องแคร์ฝ่ายตรงข้ามด้วยว่า  เค้าชอบแบบนี้มั้ย?  ลองท่าใหม่กันมั้ย?  มีออฟชั่นเพิ่มเช่น วิปปิ้งครีม น้ำผึ้ง และอื่นๆ  จดจำรายละเอียดเล็กๆน้อยๆของกันและกัน เรียนรู้กันไป เพื่อไม่ใช่แค่คำว่า Physical Need

บางคู่กับ…ครั้งแรก  อาจจะไม่ค่อยประทับใจสักเท่าไหร่ พอนานวันเข้าอะไรเข้าที่เข้าทาง

สวรรค์ก็เพียงแค่เอื้อม….เอ้าจริงๆเห็นมาหลายคู่ระ

Love Partner…มีหลายอย่างที่แชร์กันได้ เล่าให้กันฟัง  แนะนำกันไป  ไม่ว่าจะเรื่องงาน เพื่อน ชีวิต

มีความผูกพันกันเกิดขึ้นนอกจากเรื่อง เซ็กส์  มากกว่านั้นจริงๆ เคยได้ยินหรือได้ฟังเพลงบางเพลงบ้างไหมที่บอกว่า

YOU  ARE  MY  MIRACLE

คงจะดีเนอะถ้ามีใครสักคนพูดกับเราแบบนี้บ้าง…

 แต่ก็อย่างว่า เราก็ไม่รู้อีกแหละว่าคนที่เราคิดว่าเราสามารถแชร์อะไรหลายๆอย่างด้วยกัน  เค้าจะแชร์เรื่องพวกนี้กับเราคนเดียวหรือเปล่า 

บางคนไม่กล้าถาม  เพราะไม่อยากรู้ รู้แค่ว่าวันนี้เค้าอยู่กับเราก็พอ   หรือ  กลัวจะรู้ความจริง

พล่ามมาซะเยอะ…ยากที่สุดคืออ่านใจคนนี่แหละ

มีverseมาฝากค่ะ

Friendship  is LOVE  minus  SEX  and  plus  reason.

 LOVE is Friendship plus SEX  and  minus reason.

‘Tis Summer morn:  the vivifying dews
Of night the sun has long exhaled:  the hills
And vales are robed in deepest emerald,
Besprent with beauteous flowers:  all nature smiles;
But the fair scene gives not a single gleam
Of sunshine to the beggar’s weary heart;
Whose sightless eyes had never read the signs
By which the living world reveals its joy.
He sits a-begging by the highway side,
In lone despondency; and sick at heart,
That Heaven had made it his unpitied lot
To be both poor and blind.

Songs of Life:  A Collection of Poems, by Edward Hartley Dewart, 1869.  From the Hathi Trust Digital Library.  Original image here.

Today’s verse comes to us via www.verseoftheday.com and is:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

–Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

What does this verse mean to me?

This verse means alot to me actually.  I am quickly approaching 30 and aging doesn’t scare me, but I can tell you that I was once a striking young woman.  I can attest to the fact that beauty is fleeting!  Two children and 50 pounds later I’m just an average, if not below average in the looks department.  Surprisingly, it bothers me less than I thought it would.  I’m a married woman and the only man I need to look attractive to is my husband (who doesn’t seem to notice the extra 50 pounds!! LOL)  Maybe it’s just my love of the Almighty that blinds him to my physical appearance? 

I asphyxiate on this life
that I live like other mice
always afraid of running out,
not of light but sewage pipes.

Desperate thoughts of food,
water, fornication on time,
if I find a better hole
I’m happy for a night.

Fed on the garbage of vice
pollinating like disease-carrying flies
scurrying without a role,
blissfully indifferent, day and night.

Choices, like chains, tied to a fate
growing like cancer in my mind.
Breathing, in time, only to feel
the stale pain I hide multiplied.

Drawn away from sunlight
masterminding a plan to escape
then telling myself, once again,
it’s all right, this is life anyway.

Seeking nothing but what
exists between my two eyes.
I’m born to be secretly despised
even by those that are alike.

]]> http://lightafiretonight.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/between-here-and-tomorrow/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:28:27 +0000 Ajit Menon http://lightafiretonight.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/between-here-and-tomorrow/

Is it possible to be real
in a world of mirrors
and shadows?
What does one feel
when love, to feel,
has to be borrowed?

Can we grow yet not
learn lessons of blind
faith to follow?
I’m a man caught in the
crossroads between here
and tomorrow.

What’s a family
if not suffered bonds
of duty and mores?
Can a tree be
saved by not writing
another word?

Does the human race
today need a God
or a soul?
Must you see
the truth only when
it’s too late to know?

Will the body count
stop only if we
were all ghosts?
Do we walk
the war zone only
to reach God’s home?

Are we in the sea
with new paddles,
but no boat?
How can we belong
when you and I do feel
so terribly alone?

Look at the young,
will you still love them
when they’re old?
How much money
does make one happy,
do you know?

Are we going
to hell in circles, or is it
a straight road?
Do you like
the journey, but know not
where you want to go?

What will you say
if you knew
you were to die today?
What will you change?
Would you hope
for a second chance?

Maybe in death,
our lives will be perfect
but then again,
I hate to see
dreams keep me,
so wishfully awake
for another day.

]]> http://lightafiretonight.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/a-pragmatic-ode-to-her/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:21:36 +0000 Ajit Menon http://lightafiretonight.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/a-pragmatic-ode-to-her/

You want but you won’t.
You care but that’s just to show.
You’re nice. It’s a Pavlovian act you follow.
You are faithless. As a whole.
A loaded dice on the roll.

You are a voodoo doll twisting my soul.
A sorcerer’s spell on the hold.
You are the colors of a rainbow.
A mirage in my being’s fold.
You are a lie that is yet to be told.
A truth that would demand to be sold.
The life in my bones. Scattered ashes
when I’m burned tomorrow.

You’re hard to get. Because you love to be followed.
A cup in shining gold before a parched throat.
You’re razor-sharp ice that cuts
the skin and upon touch, burns.

You’re fake. It’s true.
I hold your orgasm as my highest virtue.
You sleep to escape my dream.
My dream is the lasting lust of you.
You’re vintage wine best appreciated
by the tongue of a connoisseur.

Exciting like fresh waterfall,
excitable as a child; you are an angel
yet not quite so.
You’re the maiden voyage for a sunken treasure.
The reason why sea has claimed so many lost souls.
You’re the faith and hope of a new born on earth.
The mother of all sorrows.

You’re nights, days and everlasting grace.
Peace granted in place of hate.
You’re the womb where my lust grows.
A whore no sinner can afford to court.
You’re the steady rays of a bright light.
I’m the blind man trying to light a lamp.
I’m youth. You’re unblemished beauty.
Both turning in to unread pages in history.

You’re the first word written in an epic untold,
a readymade dream of misery as it unfolds.
You’re the fear of rejection in me that
rejects you before you reject me, the misplaced pride
that hides behind every man’s disinterested eyes
cowering under your dignified shadow.

Sex was a circus before I met you
you taught me respect, held your body as my sublime virtue.
You made the why, what, and how of life relevant.
Then you made it impossible for me to hold on to.
You play to win. Love to defeat. Hate to destroy.
You are a princess. Imprisoned.
You are my master, your own mistress.

You laugh too easily. Cry to deceive mostly.
You are make-believe to the hilt.
Wrong is right in you. Right is optional.
You are the hope of heaven in hell.
You are Cindrella at the ball when the clock strikes twelve.

You are the shadow that follows me all day long
and disappears at night when I’m all alone.
You are the reverberating strains of a forgotten folklore.
You are the torrent that once drowned the world.
You are the Ark that would save my love.
You inspire creation. You invoke mayhem.
And they say, without knowing a thing about you,
that you are the better half of us two!

]]> http://hdub996.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/1129-of-the-day/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:41:45 +0000 hdub996 http://hdub996.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/1129-of-the-day/

Verse of the Day:
“ ‘O Israel,’ says the Lord,
‘if you wanted to return to me, you could.
You could throw away your detestable idols
and stray away no more.
Then when you swear by my name, saying,
“As surely as the Lord lives,”
you could do so
with truth, justice, and righteousness.
Then you would be a blessing to the nations of the world,
and all people would come and praise my name.’ ”
~Jer 4:1-2

Photo of the Day:

Manhattan Skyscraper with Lines by h.wilson

Quote of the Day:
“Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?”
~ Rose Kennedy

currently listening to “The Glass Passenger” by Jack’s Mannequin

wordcraft for the first sunday of advent:

candles brightly shining
in a season of advent underlying
the scandal of incarnation and joy

for many years ago
in birthpangs to-and-fro
a chosen girl births life into the world

and as angels sound the praise
of the Ancient of Days
and Immanuel, God born among us, comes forth

great hope pierces the horizon
in this Child with mother lying
the scene of tranquility and rest

a future glimpse is that moment
quiet cooing of an Infant
whose Life shines out beyond time and space

I am exited to explore in depth the doctrine of Charity, which is the pure love of Christ or the way Christ loves us.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Verses 1-3 tell me how important Charity (Love) is. If we spoke with the tongue of angels or had the gift of prophecy or understood all mysteries, if we don’t have charity then we are as nothing. We need to have charity more than all knowledge or all faith. We can give away everything we have to feed the poor or sacrifice our bodies to be burned but if we don’t live with charity then it is for nothing. If we have all kinds of great gifts bestowed upon us or do any number of great things we are “nothing without charity”. We can’t base our salvation on just one or two things we have to include Charity or it is all in vain.

What is charity? Charity in verse four is broken down in specific attributes so that we may fully understand what charity is.4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Verses 8-13 further illustrate how important Charity is in our lives by comparing it to other important aspects of the gospel of Jesus Christ8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Moroni 10:46-47

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail — 47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. 48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.This additional Christian Scripture passage adds to the importance of charity and teaches us more about Charity. All things must fail but Charity will never fail. This would indicate to me that we should invest much effort and prayer into obtaining the gift of charity so that it fills our sould and heart to overflowing. Verse 47 tells us that we must pray with all the energy of hear to be filled with this love.

This passage also teaches us that Charity is the pure love of Christ and when He comes again the second time if we are filled with Charity we shall be like Him. Charity is a purifying force as well.

So what exactly is Charity that it is so important? Charity is the “Pure Love Of Christ”. So when you read the word “Charity” substitute the phrase “pure love of Christ”.

Suffereth Long
The “pure love of Christ” suffereth long.

What does “Suffereth long” mean? In short “suffereth long” means patience. Consider the verse 1 Peter 3:20 In part that verse says “when once the long-suffering of God waited in the days of Noah…” We also know that mankind was extraordinarily wicked in the days of Noah. God was very patient having Noah call them to repentance before the destruction of the flood. One of the online dictionaries defines “long-suffering” as: “patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship”. There again is the word “patience”. Part of the pure love of Christ (Charity) is patience.

This means that we need to have patience. Patience toward who? We are told to have Charity like Christ does and Christ is patient towards all mankind so that implies that we should also have patience towards all mankind and especially those close to us in our own life like our spouse and children and those people we interact with on a daily basis but not to exclude all others.

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9) The Lord exerts all the patience He can toward us so that we may have as much time possible to repent and turn to Him.

Is Kind

“The pure love of Christ” is kind.

The one of the online dictionaries suggest that “Kind” means: Affectionate, loving. Of a sympathetic or helpful nature. Of a forbearing nature. Gentle. Arising from or characterized by sympathy or forbearance (a kind act). To give pleasure or relief.

A good or benevolent nature or disposition. A loving person. Having, showing or proceeding from benevolence. Considerate, helpful, humane, mild, gentle, loving or affectionate.

Forbearance means “To be tolerant or patient in the face of provocation.” An abstaining from the enforcement of a right. “A creditor’s giving of indulgence after the day originally fixed for payment.” This descriptions of the word “Kind” certainly sound Christ-like. This kind of kindess is what we should be striving for, even praying for.

Envieth Not

“The pure love of Christ” envieth not.

Envy means a painful or resentful awareness of something enjoyed by someone else as well as a desire to possess the same thing the other person has. So if Charity Envieth not then we should not be resentful toward others but rather we should be happy for the things others possess and share their joy. We cannot envy someone if we have the pure love of Christ in our hearts. We need to have joy in others successes and achievements. If everyone “envieth not” think of the drop in the crime rates.

Vaunteth Not Itself

“The pure love of Christ” vaunteth not itself.

“Vaunt” means to brag or to make a vain display of one self? We should not draw undue attention to ourselves. When we brag about ourselves we are setting ourselves up to appear to be better than others. God loves us all the same. He doesn’t love whatever sin or misdeed we may be involved in but He loves us all the same. We should not seek to make ourselves appear to be better than each other.

Is Not Puffed Up

“The pure love of Christ” is not puffed up.

Puffed up means to speak or act in a scornful, conceited, or exaggerated manner. We should just be ourselves or we should be the person we are trying to be as we seek for Charity in our lives. We need to be humble (teachable) and sincere. If we are locked into Charity as a way of life then we would have no insecurities and have no need to be conceited.

Doth Not Behave Itself Unseemly

“The pure love of Christ” doth not behave itself unseemly.

Unseemly means not according with established standards of good form or taste. In other words we should be vulgar or crude.

Seeketh Not Her Own

“The pure love of Christ” seeketh not her own.
To “seek not her own” means being selfish. Anyone who has Charity or seeking Charity is not selfish. We should repent for any selfish behavior and strive to not be selfish.

Is Not Easily Provoked

“The pure love of Christ” is not easily provoked.

Is not easily made mad or one who is slow to anger. Not resentful. If we considered the life of Christ he was very slow to wrath. The only time he showed wrath was when the money changers we disrespecting the Temple. Even when Christ was be unjustly tried for made up crimes he was not provoked. When He hung from the cross, rather than be mad he ask Heavenly Father to forgive the soldiers who were torturing Him.

Thinketh No Evil

“The pure love of Christ” thinketh no evil.

Evil is the opposite of righteousness. Charity does not think of things contrary to righteousness. Ask yourself what is evil and think the opposite. Think of virtuous thoughts. Ask yourself what would Jesus think about and think likewise.

Rejoiceth Not In Iniquity But Rejoiceth In The Truth

“The pure love of Christ” rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth.

Iniquity is both sin and behavior directly in opposition to righteousness. Charity finds happiness in the truth or rejoices in the truth. Thinketh no evil and Rejoiceth Not in iniquity go hand in hand or are companion virtues. Don’t think evil thoughts and do not rejoice in inquity. Do we watch movies or read books where we find ourselves rooting for the bad guy? Is that Charity?

Beareth All Things

“The pure love of Christ” beareth all things.

What does it mean to “Bear”? Looking up the word “bear” on several online dictionaries came to the following conclusions:

To make one’s way steadily especially against resistance. Continuing firm or resolute through trials and difficulties.

To put up with something trying or painful.

The terms Suffereth (Suffer) and Beareth (Bear) are synonyms in parts of their meanings but they also have some differences in their definitions. From what I can ascertain The phrase “Suffereth Long” is more to do with patience. The phrase “Beareth All Things” deals mainly with faithfully overcoming trials and adversity.

Believeth All Things

“The pure love of Christ” believeth all things

This phrase “believeth all things” has to do with faith. Charity, the pure love of Christ wouldn’t teach to believe all things regardless. For instance. Do we believe the God created the earth or do we believe in junk science that the earth was created from a big bang?

Do we believe God created Man in His own image or than man evolved from apes? We don’t believe all things spiritual and worldly but rather “believeth all things” is to have firm religious faith. To accept the gospel as true, genuine or real. Furthermore it means to have assurance or faith in righteousness. Trust in God. To have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something. If that thing doesn’t have goodness of efficacy then it is evil and not to be trifled with.

Other definitions of “Believeth all things”: To have confidence in the truth,

Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

2 Corinthians 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

Hopeth All Things

“The pure love of Christ” hopeth all things.

To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. For instance, to look to Christ for ones salvation. To place trust in or rely in. We need to trust in Christ that He will do what He says he will do. To look to the Gospel of Jesus Christ with confidence.

Endureth All Things

“The pure love of Christ” endureth all things. Here is what some online dictionaries defined Endure as.

To undergo a hardship without giving in. To suffer or endure a great pain. To remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding. To bear without resistance or with patience.

To support adverse force or influence of any kind; suffer without yielding; suffer patiently. The life of Christ is a perfect example of enduring all things.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

looking onto the garden

For everything there is a season

and a time for every purpose under Heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up

what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain

from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep and a time to cast away;

a time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

「Don’t  confuse  desire  with  Love」

「欲望を愛と混同するな」

Her soft satin belly, like a tiny ocean, sways
With each breath comes a mighty tiny rumble
Inside her rugged, comfortable, mobile cage,
She sleeps
Like just a solid chunk of temporary flesh

This improbable, natural machine, after all,
Seems to “feel”
Maybe “I” should “care”

There will come the lowest point of my life. Low points, probably, because I wouldn’t know when the exact lowest point will be. But it’s just at that point when just the mere knowledge of cliche-ish thoughts: “God loves you, He’s there, He’s omnipresent, with Jesus by your side, you have nothing to fear” is not bringing any cheering up. The words that you ought to know as a Christian, repeatedly chugged down your brain by you yourself, the people around you, your Christian community, is really mere knowledge and have no warmth to your soul.

The time when Satan has its chances. A chance to bring you down for all the sins that Jesus has paid. Pushing you to sin, because anyway, you’re already sinful. Telling you not to do anything, work hard at anything, because after all, you’re a failure to God, and you don’t belong with the group of holy Christians.

How can I not, at this time, force myself to memorize God’s words. Eventhough I know I suck at memorizing words. I do not like reading the Bible because I thought I have understood it all. I already had the gist of the whole Bible,why should I know it word for word?

It’s because it’s exactly at this point, that I needed those Words, the living Word, Jesus Himself, that could refresh my soul and point me back to God.

Today, I’m thankful for Psalm 73:25-26

“Whom have I in heaven but You? On earth, there’s nothing I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. “

When I am at the point where I do not feel as if anyone understood my struggles. I do not think that anyone would listen, at all. No one is there to share my burdens. I do not blame them, for we have our own struggles and when they are not that similar, it’s just hard to understand each other. I am at the point where my flesh is so prone to sinning. My heart just seeks for everything, every temporal pleasure, besides God. It’s the point where I couldn’t take control of how my heart wants to feel. It’s blinded by useless and empty emotions. How can I not tell myself “but He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”?

This is what you need to feel, self. There will come time like this when it just seems that no one is listening. But it’s okay. because whom have you in heaven but God Himself? Let your heart desire nothing besides Him on earth. The fullness of God will always be enough.

to be accused of shit you know you didn’t do
shit that is the antithesis of you
an action that goes against the grain of your soul
has nothing to do with the philosophy of what you are
it makes you want to push back, go on the attack
take down the liar and extinguish the fire
and make a pyre of the bullshit allegations
you have proof piled high to back you up
these laughable comments crack you up, then jack you up
then the anger starts to churn and burn again
do you need to produce witnesses to attest to this
integrity you feel is obvious; a fierce testimony?
the ideas i supposedly plagiarised i can break down
and build back up into higher dimensions
than this person can ever hope to think in
the tension’s built from not just going to take down
this person and forcing them to drink in
exactly what i can do with words, with thoughts
with a pen, with my mind, with my voice
i can reiterate and communicate every choice
i made to make the pieces i write
i can knock out a paper on each poem in a night
i don’t need to retrofit some badly translated pseudo bullshit
approximation of einstein crossed with bad porn dubbing
written by a drunk teenager back from clubbing
in the broken english of someone who barely understands
what discipline being a writer demands
i have a reputation and the inspiration it takes to maintain
constant creation, an active mind, a limber brain, a true soul
and the goal to communicate ideas that come from myself
that articulate what i have understood from what i’ve read
i need plunder no head, record no words, listen to no flocking birds
with their incessant chatter about things that don’t matter
one day they’ll be hit hard and it will shatter their self regard
when they realise the insanity of their vanity is little but a shard
of the totality of the reality i seek to face and embrace
on a daily basis – i know where i stand, where this place is
i’m not lost; wear no mask; know where my face is

our words come as if scripted
as if we lifted them fully formed
from a brain-stormed session
of some sit-com writing team
we are a documentary dream
speaking in complete phrases
unless navigating mamet mazes
where thoughts crash into each other
and smother one train of thought
for the greater message; the ultimate direction
only after when subject to inspection
do we see ourselves as having been on remote control
all the tracks we run in were old
and they fold into each other
to make the mixture ready for baking
how long is it generally taking to cook something
that everyone has to chew on for a while after?
the aftermath is a shiny path of laughter

Verse of the Day:
“When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.”
~Deut 8:10

Quote of the Day:
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
~ Albert Schweitzer

Lyrics of the Day:
“Don’t wanna leave this world, knowing I’ve lived in vain.
No time for myself; so sorry, so ashamed.
Don’t wanna leave this life, knowing I’ve barely tried.
Chase down all my dreams that I’ve hid away on the inside.”
~“Burn Out Brighter” by Anberlin

currently listening to “The Sinatra Christmas Album” by Frank Sinatra

From www.verseoftheday.com today’s verse is:

“No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.

–Isaiah 54:17 (NIV)

What this verse means to me:

I feel like this verse means that as long as we are strong in our belief of Christ there is nothing that can hurt us.  Those who perform bad deeds against us will get what’s coming to them.

Smiles, punctuating
perfect lines,
hasty heartbeats, shuffling
through time,
a line of cliches is life,
overused and hollow
from inside.

Long ago pink, now
benumbed white,
clattering conveyor belts,
are tongues,
greased in bile,
bringing forth words,
cues, rotten lies.

Heads turned junk yard
of outdated tripe,
ears drip mucous,
grime, filled to the brim
with jaded vowels and
consonants
decomposing in light.

Frozen in time
a stunted human race,
apes sounds
filling empty spaces,
sleeping as it walks awake
dazed, gaping at sentences
spoken, now floating
as nothingness in air.

Hurling noise
at each other and life,
conversation is loud static
in a broken down
telephone line.

Helpless eyes flit
incessantly, groping
for meaning
in catch-phrases,
failing once more
they scream in malice,
fake courage is born
in decibels and din,
as fate lies in wait
silent and pale,
a growing shadow,
in a dark tale.

I crash, screaming
into this nightmare.
‘I’m fine,’
‘You look good,’
‘I love you,’
‘I promise,’
‘You are beautiful,’
‘Our love is real,’
my mouth froths
at its sides,
empty bubbles, hidden rile,
masquerading
as meaningful words, rise
from my dead insides.

‘Fight for Freedom,’
‘March for Peace,’
‘Save the World,’
‘Prevent Animal Cruelty,’
‘Wipe out Poverty,’
the words flow easily,
from my practised lips,
walking mummies
consume it eagerly
like fermented spirit,
by soulless bodies
of chronic alcoholics.

Blessed head rush
takes over for a while,
only to disappear
with the next sunrise.
Give me my high,
deny it and I’ll die,
I seek to speak,
hear your voice,
need the noise
to deny, breath as I die,
In words lies respite,
from the nameless
terror I carry inside,
even if just for a while.

So I repeat words
I heard you speak,
shake my head, nod,
as you whisper, wail,
and regurgitate it.
The night settles in,
neon lights -
night owls in the streets,
blink at humanity’s
progressive defeat -
blankly stare at us
struggle to stay afloat
in someone else’s dream,
chanting into the void,
words – what do they mean?

A lady looks at me, pleadingly
says, ‘Say something please,
help me, save my soul,
don’t punish me with
your silence anymore,
I need to hear your voice,
I’m lonely than before.’
I stare back at her, silently,
wish I could tell her proudly,
‘I ripped out my tongue
last night, young lady,
I no longer know
how to speak.’

Instead I laugh, hysterically,
blood dripping down at my feet,
I scream inside my head,
‘I’ve conquered hypocrisy
and deceit, from this day,
there will be no words
for me, just deeds.’

]]> http://expiry.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/caesura-fractal-cloud-pattern-drift/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:19:04 +0000 insomnihack http://expiry.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/caesura-fractal-cloud-pattern-drift/

in an interval of hint or call
we find the clue condensing
like swirls of motion through the field
where the upright bends to yield a sign
the things we’re barely able to define
with the conscious motion of a thought
and other things cheaply bought
are sought in some counter-intuitive drive
that makes us forget how to thrive
how many saints are left alive
when the font upends to baptise the unwilling
and we move towards a casual killing
that sates in some states but is generally unfilling

in a moment where the potent becomes the lack of will
and all the things held in motion move to still
and it all falls away into entropy as all things tend to do
that is when the zen of a desire to begin again shines through
we’re following the reflection of a watch on the wall
dogs after a tale kicking at the water bowl
watching echoes scatter out through the shatter of matter
into disparate atoms that still chatter about super symmetry
and dance together apart across the quantum field
where and when can the eye be peeled, stolen steeled?
to certain turns of thought, certain reflections of godly motion
and nothing seems as cheap as religious devotion
when we can simplify it with one engaged casual fuck
that says i love you like fireworks say this is what the sky is for

it is always in that second when eyes are askance
that the music makes the marbles on the tabletop dance
and all that colour swirls to explain spectrums of the invisible
gods on wheat thins and angels on the heads of pins are divisible
by the saints in the gutter who mutter about toast and butter
and the kind of maths that build mythologies out of the line let drop
tell it in a fable at the breakfast table about a feather and spinning top
it hardly seems like harvest time when we find the rhyme to crop
gods are on the ceiling, universes mural the wall like coral
and in the spin of gravitational shift and drift there’s no need for a moral
it just all hangs together, like weather systems wondering whether
they need more than predictions or contradictions with which to tether
the ephemeral to the everyday, disarray is just alternative organisation
and the fallout fall-in dynamics are a harmonious interpentration