brilzneak.

bilzneat.

Sometimes the music speaks for itself…

The Specials – Too Much Too Young on the Whistle Test 1979

Lloyd Terrell – Birth Control 1970

vol 35, and funk is now paid for the privilege of bringin us these top tens, having quit his shitty job.

he’s now a full time teacher.of breaks..and trivia.dope.

it’s the new style..

in his prime..

merry Christmas you good people

that is all.

jamie freund, aka dj funktual, the music fiend with the crazy energy, who lights up my inbox(oo er, missus) with videos breaking down the breaks that we own, or wish we owned…and relating it all to hip hop, old and new.dude reminds me of scoob, who schooled me to the breaks when we were at tower records together(r.i.p the dream team).i knew i needed all the records my hiphop records were sampling, and scoob pointed me in the right direction, and helped me stop wasting my money buying shit like bobby hoslaps the poet lp’s.

dude’s (c.d) crates are deep, but deeper is dude’s knowledge, and more importantly, for all you dj’s out there,his love of music.

the first one, kinda shoddy, but something about the dude just appealed…his hip-hop stoner, plus casey casem style, probably.

pt 5.

pt 10!

pt 20!!

pt 30!!!

get diggin’…

“As he wax and tracks. all the DJs play, with a dick in your mouth all day, a little dick in your mouth all day, a big dick in your mouth all day”.

These words and samples closed the 1988 Run DMC classic Beats to the Rhyme, but have you ever wondered from whence that yelpy screech about dicks in mouths originated? Its one of the finest in your face, take no shit from no man, comics ever !

Proving that no matter what the origins of a record or sample are, even the most slender, tenuous slivers of soundbites can make a huge amount of difference to a track

Sam Kinison – Big Menu [From Louder Than Hell]

going back to 86, alarm radios must of been real pricey cos, for the first few bars of erick sermon’s verse on “jane”,he not only brags about having one, but borderline schools you on what an alarm clock radio IS.deep.this, for me, is the kinda random shit that i love epmd for.in the early days, they were not even very good rappers, on par with duece poppi, or some shit, but they had good chemistry as a duo, and of course the “jane” saga, a five-deep, not very well thought out, multi-song story about a girl that they fuck/like/dislike/like again/kill..on every epmd lp there was a jane song, and even redman makes mention about meeting her..

alarm clocks aside, they tell a strange story, as they both rap from ericks perspective at first, then take individual roles, then switch up again as erick takes jane to bed…

also, listen again, because for the love of god, it doesnt make any sense!, even to rap thinkers extrawdinare, like myself..

let us count the ways..

erick sets his fancy alarm clock radio, but makes no mention of having two females at his house, or the fact that he has pre arranged with pmd, the microphone doctor, to be his wingman, and take up the slack on this other girl, we assume the ugly/fat friend, who’s hair is the only thing of note about her.

so, from the jump i’m confused.it’s also so old school, nowadays the story would be about banging both of them in the ass, whilst smoking a blunt the size of amsterdam.but i digress.

next morning he (the e double) wakes to a note where jane kinda disses his lovemaking ability, the cow, by saying she wants him to be better, bigger, stronger and much faster(huh?)..although he has kinda admitted he was a shit lay already, with lines like “she showed pain but inside she felt joy” and telling us that he was” tired of busting her” by 3am, all classic denial behaviour, added to fact he mentions the alarm clock radio more than her in the first place(must put a girl off),so, overall, he’s not really selling the encounter to me..why would you write a song about being shit in bed?, i mean he already has a lisp!

THE QUESTIONS REMAIN:

what happened to p’s girl?why does erick wonder who is at his door, when he knows p is coming over..?jane appears to try and chat p up at first, so whats happing with the friend? sherlock holmes could not riddle me this.

musically, dope mary” jane” flips, nicely scratched up by dj k la boss, but why are they triggering what sounds like parrish saying “swamp thing”?,is it to distance erick from the j to the a to the n to the e?, or just for pure randomness?.that beat made it as far as a texas single at one point, i believe.

this song raises more questions than it answers, the main one being why didn’t they think it through a bit better?.iv’e listened to it five times in the course of writing this, and i will damned if i can work it out.

really.

pt 2 soon..i’m audi like kirk gaudi.

lil bit o’ break to the beat action for a friday arvo..enjoy

is

i thought it rang a bilznell.

wev’e kinda steered wide of the blueprint three here, iv’e not even heard it yet, for example..

normally we appreciate in heterospect here at “the balls”..mainly to show that wer’e not on ANYONES dick, these are our real opinions and the tastes displayed are mainly to be edumacational to lames, and mainly about showing and, possibly proving we are indeed, the shit.

but.

rap finally got on oprah!!respect to shawn for that alone.two worlds meeting at last, at least officially, you know, as in, on the telly.i grew up on oprah, via my mum.oprah and cosby.

so to see the jiggaman get the oprah treatment is, for me, some kind of cultural moment.

he did a quincy and took her back the block.

i love the internet, for things like this..third person footage.

as you were..

in the caff with the missus on sunday morning, she opens up the guardian, and out pops the glossy mag, and who’s on the cover?

the kid 50 cent.

curtis is there inside discussing his co-sign-co-op of the 48 laws of power, of those books that people always say you should read, cos they read it in jail..a cold hearted self help book, if you will.

anyways, fuck all that, he’s still releasing bangers, “flight 187″ being one example.

i could ramble on about how people get the wrong end of this guys career, focussing on the negativity, rather than the fact the guy has tons of charisma, is funny on record, and can actually rap.i know hotasballs is mostly a h8tr free zone, so i don’t need to.thafe.

coming off the back of releasing three dope albums for free, bussing his whole projects to great adventures out of his own pocket, and relentless jigga baiting.shouts to gervias for getting in the clip, too.

nice lil trip back the 90’s with this one, check fif’s comments at the end.

“they in rainbow club”

For absolutely no other reason, other than it can be really productive to dig through old hard-drives

Take 6 – Spread Love [Mark the 45 King Remix]

It was one of those Bozo Meko dub-plate things beards ago, it’s also reappeared on a 7″ recently

A wee lesson in the version excursion…

Commodores

Rakim

PE

3rd Bass [always good to bookend yer promo with Gilbert Gottfried & Michael Rappaport]

Superlover Cee

BDP

Scarface

Guy

we, erm, touched on this dude yesterday, but seriously, yo, this dude is bananas.

was he a dj? just a big music fan?slightly creepy?

does what he says, plays some slept on gizznems from back in the dilznays.but so, so much more.he edits a dope video, kicks a little k(nowledge), and gets the fuck outta there…

interviews too, check him interviewing/asskissing the dude from k.c and the sunshine band…more gas than exxon.

he goes deep like freddie west on this one!

the inspiration for that dodgy old party cut that ice t did, with everlast..anyways,

ill cover version of the excorcist.go, music mike.3.55 for the drums.

And….the guy is a radio buff, but to the extreme.

his other channel is all airchecks, jingles, and test broadcasts from throughout the states.

dude is off the richter

wacky d’s commercial from the 70’s.

act like you know.

their first single.

from “the listening”

a dope live performance.

notice how they’re NOT screaming, how the mics sound nice(word to pepa) and that they deliver their music with sincerity, energy and class.

their “major” album never took them where they wanted to go, and it wasn’t just ablout 9th leaving either, i believe the time may come when lyrics will mean something again.and that’s my word, son.

Strictly for those that cant get enough of those Latin Rascals/ Diamond Two/ Shep Pettibone machine-gun edits

CM Dance – Off the Hook Vinyl rip is here

As featured on HOTASBALLS a wee while ago, on a Mike Allen show from the same period in 86, click on the tape

The clip below of William Perry aka The Refridgerator [or simply the Fridge] goes out to the hardest working man in London Hip-Hop show-biz, the Doctor of Spin. Biggest shouts to Spin-Doctor and the good folk behind the latest concept to grab hold of the attention spans of some seriously ageing b-boys in London, an all new Hip-Hop pub quiz.

Dont feel like bloatin up on beer today, cant decide whether yer having a Rioja or a Rose? Dont forget that dress code addendum !

The concept is standard, loads of question referring to our sub-culture of choice, and some stuff about Rap singers [RnB folk] categorised and flaunting themselves as Hip-Hop, that we had no clue about. There are plenty of sections as you’d expect, sports rounds, Rappers government names, movie rounds, original breaks and a true or false section [yes it's true, Nas doesnt mind horses that much]. ‘The Cuervo Gold’ was indeed flowing, and that was simply for gaining full points on a round, we declined the Tequila [at approx 4.30pm in the afternoon] the other two times we did that !

There were 17 teams in competition on Saturday and as a two man team [with assistance from Lady HOTASBALLS of course] we didnt do too bad placing 2nd against a team of 5. Well, with two members of HOTASBALLS international commitee in attendance while one polishes his Gundam figures in Tokyo, what did you expect. No amount of nepotism, gang-gestures or bringing original copies of  Rap classics to ‘lean on’ will win this for ye. We say, knowledge reigns supreme and ‘only fruits wear Supreme’ as they say. It’s only a quiz kiddies.

The Thizz Quizz-Master himself, dont see too many lillies and Lost Boys combos these days, or B-Boy stances for that matter…

If you enjoy the good ole fashioned British pub and a Hip-Hop pub quiz sounds like your form of entertainment on a sunny Saturday afternoon in deepest Clerkenwell, Central London, keep yer eyes on the Doctors Orders round this time next month. Hopefully.

You start off with Ill Communication in the erm ‘whip’ and you end up jammin’ this nutty 9 minute instrumental from 81. The vocal is a classic, even though im [virtually] sick of hearin it, that’s why the B is a dusted out treasure.

Produced by the first Graf artist to sell his work in galleries?

“The only thing the market liked better than a hot young artist was a dead hot young artist”…

Fix yer tie young man

So homo.

Nice hat Keith, but who were the Spoiled Boys ?

RAMMELZEE VS K-ROB BEAT BOP INSTRUMENTAL

Can you get my drift?

More Jean-Michel from Glenn O’ Briens’ Downtown 81

HOTASBALLS cant resist a cover version excursion !

From the good folk that brought you ‘Jizz in my Pants’ – this time featuring ‘Freaks and Geeks’ Seth Rogen…

Lonely Island – Like a Boss

Slim Thug – Like a Boss

cut straight to 2.30 to see these spanish guys, who should of already moved to the states, rocking that shit, live.

flipping biggie up against mike jack, theyv’e got ears pricked up all over the world.

here’s why

i liked hustler’s ambition, but this flip of the champagne girl’s “the show is over” works much better..

oh, they make bangers too.

dope remixes..

and a cool tribute to ike turner.

good to see talent count for something in this cold, cold world..

From back in 1983, George Clinton under the guise of K-9 Corp Feat erm, Pretty C on another Atomic Dog sample driven doozy, or was it all replayed in a studio. Answers on a postcard.

‘Watch me raise my leg’…

K- 9 Corp – Dog Talk Uncensored [192]