Ben Anderson and Vice’s new documentary shows how hopeless afghanistan is. Our military commitment there is a continuing quagmire.

WATCH THE FULL FEATURE ON VICE.com 

http://www.vice.com/vice-news/this-is-what-winning-looks-like-part-1

http://www.vice.com/vice-news/this-is-what-winning-looks-like-part-2

http://www.vice.com/vice-news/this-is-what-winning-looks-like-part-3

In no way a fuck up, but a second generation immigrant with a hustlers ambition, that turned himself in to restauranteur and a street legend.

This is part of VICE networks’ series with him, where he interviews his friend Roy Choi.

I tweeted him and he tweeted back…

@parkjog thanks man!

— Eddie Huang (@MrEddieHuang) May 14, 2013

Respect.

Parkjog

This Is What Winning Looks Like (Trailer)

Date: May 13, 2013 at 04:55PM

A first hand account of trip to the Arizona border with Mexico. Published by Vice.com

The hundreds who die annually are those who get lost, run out of water and food, and become ill when they drink from toxic cow ponds. Coalición de Derechos Humanos, a grassroots organization resisting border militarization, has estimated 2,464 deaths in Arizona since 2000. Some of them are children, such as Josseline Jamileth Hernández, a 14-year-old Guatemalan girl whose remains were found by No More Deaths volunteer Dan Millis. When captured, migrants face harsh detentions conditions, and are then repatriated into border towns where they have little ability to subsist, making them prey for robbery or rape. It is unclear if these horrors serve as a deterrent, as intended, or if the slumping U.S. economy is more to blame for lower immigration rates. Either way, the annual death rate has remained in the 150-250 range for over ten years. Even though much of the Sonoran boundary remains only a small cattle fence or vehicle barrier, to hop it is only the beginning. Migrants trek for days or weeks trying to make their way to a road north of two stationary checkpoints. Even then, anyone stopped or pulled over in this range can have their citizenship verified at the officer’s discretion. In this area, especially the barrios of South Tucson, the notorious “papers, please” legislation SB1070 has always been a redundancy.

More: http://www.vice.com/read/a-weekend-in-the-desert-with-no-more-deaths

Grading Every Team's Undrafted Free Agent Signings
Undrafted Free-Agent Class: Clemson CB Xavier Brewer; Virginia TE/FB Paul Freedman; South Carolina State FS Jakar Hamilton; Texas A&M CB/KR Dustin Harris; Saginaw Valley State SS Jeff Heath; Eastern Washington WR Greg Herd; Mississippi State LB …
Read more on Bleacher Report

Grading Every Team's Undrafted Free Agent Signings
Undrafted Free-Agent Class: Clemson CB Xavier Brewer; Virginia TE/FB Paul Freedman; South Carolina State FS Jakar Hamilton; Texas A&M CB/KR Dustin Harris; Saginaw Valley State SS Jeff Heath; Eastern Washington WR Greg Herd; Mississippi State LB …
Read more on Bleacher Report

This really tickled me despite the slight undertones of darkness creeping through. I honestly feel like I now know John Grant AKA “The Loner” AKA the greatest mother-fucker of them all. I really hope the character created is a caricature of the man himself, even down to his website. A friendly giant with a penchant for basketball, furry animals and skin-care. If there was ever a soft uplifting track to listen to on your way to that job interview with that great company you really want to work for but don’t want to be too aggressively pumped for, it is this track.

Alternatively you can enjoy the delicately funny video Lucy Luscombe has created. Ms. Luscombe’s most recent work, commissioned by VICE for Channel 4 and winner of the BFI Future Film Award, depicts her more serious side as both writer and director. Another short that manages to create depth beyond the 3+minutes should allow. A side (literally) rewarded but for me its the subtle nuances of comedic awkwardness without coming across too try-hard that I really enjoyed.

Performing under the stage name of Toro Y Moi, the diminutive South Carolinian Chaz Bundick has become one of the most sought after performers of the recent glo-fi upsurge. Raised in South Carolina’s state capital of Columbia, Bundick started the band in the early aughts as a pet project alongside his high-school punk band the Heist and the Accomplice. As the decade progressed he earned a BFA in design from the University of South Carolina and continued developing a singular sound for Toro Y Moi.

Eventually captured on his debut long player Causers Of This, the early material was lumped in, perhaps unfairly, with the chillwave cycle of 2010. It’s not an entirely inapt touchstone for the record’s terrain. The eleven hazy, sample-based tracks are drenched in the pre-millennial nostalgia that defined the genre, wistful for the blu-lite soul of Luther Vandross and, more distinctively, the pioneering avant-hip-hop of J Dilla. He followed up shortly thereafter with Underneath the Pine, a radical departure from Causers’ bedroom introversion. The hi-fi funk feel is presented in full-band arrangements, as Bundick opened his act up to a live band for tours with Braids and Carpark Records labelmates Cloud Nothings.

Vice Magazine caught up with Toro Y Moi in Atlanta, the capital of the Dirty South. With a criminality index that’s nearly double the national average, the “Big Peach” has as much grime and crime as you could hope to unearth in a decaying city in the Southern US. It’s also home to a thriving hip-hop community, with rappers like Gucci Mane and fellow Columbia native Young Jeezy setting the soundtrack.

Credit to Vice.

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Taken from Vice’s website new video installment related to Daft Punk’s new album, Random Access Memories, it tells the story about the collaboration with Paul Williams.

Video could be watch here : http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCreatorsProject

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Founded by a partnership between Intel & Vice, the project showcases the work of artists who use innovations in technology to explore new frontiers of creative expression.

Their website is a wonderful online hub of documentaries, artist profiles and inspiration.

Members of the Freeform Collective were lucky enough to attend their 2011 exhibition in New York City, parts of which you can view below:

(Frank Sinatra)

(Axl Rose)

(Beyonc )

(Billy Idol)

(Britney Spears)

Watch all of the backstage meals by 16 different celebrities here.

By Madeleine Lewin

Society…I was a part of it once. I was that girl, standing there, waiting for the bus with her friends each school day. I’d get up each morning, put on my uniform…until that one day where I thought, “why?” Why was I doing this? Where was I going with all this? I certainly don’t enjoy it. All the stares, the questions, the rumours… “I heard she lives in a dirty shack” “I heard she shares a room with 10 other siblings” “Well I heard she gives herself all those bruises for attention” – NO!  I would spend my school days entranced in my daydreams…I’d dream of where I would be…right at this very moment actually…

I would dream of the 30 year old me…a woman of the world, well-travelled, well spoken, extravagantly dressed and filthy rich. Well here I am, the 30 year old me and all I am is…filthy. The teachers…they’d always say “Oh Talia you have so much potential” followed by my blank stares. P-O-T-E-N-T-I-A-L…I looked it up once, potential: having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future. That “something” was never clear to me…I knew I wanted a privileged life but, I…I could never push past that giant wall between the present and the future. Future…it was always just a hazy, uncertain blur to me. They all knew where their lives were going…just like all these people that pass me here every day, going about their important, busy lives…I was just left in the present as they all ventured off into their futures…

*church bells chime*

The bell. Every day at 12:00, reminding people of where they need to be…as I sit here, I watch…I dream…The one thing I remember from my mother, she’d scream, “TALIA GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!” – NO! The world, to me has always been a better place within the recesses of my mind…and when…HE…when he’d scream, and push, and strike – that’s where I’d go…my mind. I’d close my eyes and I’d dream. I’d dream of a…feeling, a feeling I have forever yearned for, craved, cried for…but never felt. I can’t seem to name it as I don’t really know what it is, I never had it all to myself. I’ve only seen it…sitting on this step, as days merge into one. I see fathers, mothers and children…hand in hand…looking sickeningly…happy. I see elderly couples, I see the love and care in their eyes for each other “till death do they part.” I’ve even seen lost dogs…taken in by strangers, fed, cared for…loved…as I sit here on this step…day…by…day, silent and ignored.

Not to worry…I’ve found my “feeling” another way… with it, I can close my eyes and the dreams are the sweetest of dreams you could EVER imagine. As it spreads throughout my whole body, like a flood of happiness drowning my body…the world becomes my dream world. In it I am a part of it all…I matter… I discover my true self…and everything makes sense – but then this world SNAPS, crumbles and disintegrates into reality…and I forget, I ALWAYS FUCKING FORGET. I forget my discoveries, I forget, I forget myself…the ground hardens one again from under me. I am back…

Anything to escape those stares, the looks, the judgement, for out here I am no longer a person…I am an exhibit, I am the “dirty whore” “the strain on society”…I am to be pitied and I am to be ignored, tripped over. I’m just a crack in a pavement that has no use, I am just an inconvenience in the daily lives of Society.

The street lights are coming on again, another day has passed. The people all rushing by me – ALWAYS FUCKING RUSHING – to get home to their warm houses and their loving families. I remember…I remember the warmth, the warmth of my childhood bed. Me and three others all squashed into the one bed…I remember the battles each night, the lack of space, the discomfort…but most of all I remember, amongst all the fear and anxiety, that silence amongst us kids as we slept,  the sound of their rhythmic breathing…even the snores sent me into the innocent slumber of childhood, with a false sense of safety.

Innocence is so precious as it is so short lived, it NEVER lasts…mine ended that fatal day, under moonlight much like this. I was sick of the alcohol once that soothed me through my teen years…it wasn’t enough…I could still feel that raw, gaping hole throbbing within me…somewhere. Not matter how much I drank, no matter how much I forgot, it could be soothed anymore, not even for a moment. I couldn’t find ANYTHING to sooth my hole, so I puffed and I swallowed but still…nothing…until…I found IT –

It is that time again, where the blackness of night is almost as dark as my craving. IT IS TIME. The streets echo with a hush that whispers to me: “finally”…I feel my body roaring, aching, yearning for IT…it is time. My veins are screaming for it, my brain is determined to have it. Finally.

For I am the eternal dreamer.

-NT

Quote from Sam Glass’ Blueprints – A fictional writer/character working on a novel in a novel entitled Blueprints by yours truly…

Yeah, drinking was fun, but getting wasted sure ain’t. I don’t like the way I act, think or feel when drunk. I cringe at the memories of my actions and the things that come out of my mouth when under the influence of alcohol. I’m in no position to say whether I’m an alcoholic or not, but I do know –after more than 15 years of drinking – that I can’t control it once I take that initial sip. I don’t drink; I get drunk. And I don’t want my daughter coming up to me later on and saying, “Mom it’s okay for me to get drunk because you’ve done it for years.”

I’m not judging people who drink. I’m judging myself. Let’s not turn this into an issue of me versus your own drinking habits. If you enjoy it, fine. If you can drink and not turn into a stark, raving lunatic like I often do, kudos to you. You have the self-control that has eluded me for years. That’s your life. I got my own demons to battle with.

On my 29^th birthday month last year, I dared myself not to drink for one whole month. It was met with a lot of surprise and mostly disbelieving jeers. “Ikaw pa?” was what they’d told me. I did manage to go through the entire month, and for the most part of last year. There were still several instances when I got really smashed, probably because although I had presumably changed, some old habits refused to go away immediately.

My last drink (and unfortunately, drunken episode) was right before last year ended. I had planned not to drink at our department’s year end party but an incident at work got me justifying “just a couple of drinks” to loosen up. By the time the night ended, I had poured out my personal problems to my boss (good thing he didn’t let that little episode prevent him from giving me a relief manager post months later, nyaha!), turned into a blubbering mess and drunk dialed someone I shouldn’t have talked to in the first place.

Anybody who’s ever been with me during my drinking sprees can attest to my, er, infamous “transformations.” There’s even a running joke back in my old team about the “stages of Jaz getting drunk:” I get hyper then angry, then I start throwing things around and slapping people, then I suddenly get super emotional and break down in tears. After that comes the throwing up and passing out.

Again, this is a personal decision I know I can only really achieve with the help of His grace. This is not a panata or penitence or a token to God so I’ll go to heaven. Jesus pretty much took care of that for me on the Cross. This is me trying not to destroy myself. This is me deciding not to give in to the one vice that turns me into a compulsive, careless, hurtful human being that does and says things she regrets once the inebriation wears off.

So the next time you offer me a drink and I decline, please don’t take my refusal as a rebuff of your friendship or a judgment of your character. I’m not saying these to be defensive. I mean, you asked, right?  It’s not personal to you, but it is very personal to me.

“You have been bought with a price–use your body to glorify God. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20)

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• Vice vice baby
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• So I’m going to stop drinking
• How I stopped drinking alcohol in 5 steps
• What does the Bible say about alcohol

I have been addicted to videos on the Vice channel lately. Most notably the Hamilton Morris documentaries in the series called Pharmacopia which I watched all of in one day and will be doing a full post about shortly.
Anyway, I was getting ready to meet a friend for dinner last night and came across this video on the Vice subsidiary Noisey and was captivated.
To quote my friend, there’s “a whole lot of what the fuck, going on here.” But the truth is it refreshes my interest in Jake Gyllenhaal in a way reminiscent of the Donnie Darko days.

I have a friend.  He’s someone I’ve known for something like sixteen or seventeen years.  I knew him back when he was a round-faced, curly-mopped creature languishing in that terrible period of time that exists between childhood and adulthood.  This friend lives in Portland, and he is a bartender by trade and is extremely plugged in to his industry.  He found himself rather unexpectedly in my neck of the woods yesterday, so we made plans to go get beers.

Now, I thought I would drink a few beers and head home for an early night.  That was the plan.  We met up and split a couple of pitchers.  At that point he wanted to check out a bar just around the corner that he hadn’t been to yet.  So we went around the corner.

I remember at this point having a profound sense that I was just along for the ride; as though my ability to influence our trajectory or momentum had ceased to exist and that all there was left was the necessity to hold on as tight as I could.

We sat on the stools at the new bar, with the air of two people settling in for a business meeting.  We shook hands and got acquainted with the staff.  We drank a shot each of Fortaleza tequila, and discussed the nature of fine tequilas.  He gave me some names to try out and validated my current favorite, Espolon, as a top-shelf tequila with a mid-shelf price tag.  He turned to me and said, “have you ever had mescal?”
I responded in the negative, but said that I’d always wanted to try it.  This was the truth; as a tremendous tequila fan, I felt a need to try this brasher, less refined cousin.  So we got some water to clear the palate, and split a shot of mescal.

A word or two about mescal.  Mescal is a distilled liquor produced from the maguey, a type of agave separate from but related to the blue agave used in tequila manufacture. The heart of the maguey is collected, and then roasted, sometimes for days at a time, in underground pit ovens.  The roasted maguey is then crushed, left to ferment, and then distilled.  Mescal has been around for a very long time, but is only recently gaining traction in American markets, where it has become quite the fad.  In Mexico there is a saying that goes, “para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien también.”  Mescal for everything bad, and for everything good as well.

I wish I remembered the name of the brand, but unfortunately it was not in my tasting notes for the evening.  I either never caught it, or failed to make note of it.  The mescal has a flavor that bears an inescapable resemblance to tequila, but with bolder aromatic components; it is less refined, but retains the same complexity and adds pungent smoke and minerality.  If you have ever had tequila while sitting at a campfire, that is an approximation of the mescal experience.  Needless to say, I was enchanted.

Next came sotol.  You might never have heard of sotol.  I certainly hadn’t until last night, and yet there was suddenly a glass of it sitting in front of me.  Sotol is a liquor distilled from fermented mash of a plant called desert spoon.  The desert spoon plant itself takes fifteen years to grow to maturity, and each plant makes one bottle.  That’s right, just the one.

Sotol is, believe it or not, smack in the middle of the gulf between tequila and mescal.  Which is to say that in terms of flavor, if one accepts that tequila resides on one end, with its sweetness and floral delicateness and complexity, and that mescal resides on the other end, with its brash earthiness and smoke, then sotol is the perfect compromise between the two.  It tempers the smoke with sweetness and the rampant herbaceousness settles into order.  It is a beautiful thing to drink, and it’s rare here, so I am thrilled that I got to try some.  Even if it is the only sotol that I ever have, it has played a part in making my experience of the world more complete.

At this point, we switched to some whiskeys, which aren’t really within my ken.  I tasted each and handed them off to my long-suffering drinking partner to enjoy.  We soon had a healthy row of empty glasses standing sentry, a testament of our commitment to this fine work.

So this is about the time in the evening when the world convulsed and began to appear to me as if it were a kind of vibrant, throbbing carnival in some distant and exotic land.  Everything started to sound like calliope music and laughter; faces seemed distorted, but not unfriendly.  Colors seemed unearthly in their brilliance, even in dim bars and night dark streets.

We went back to the first bar for more beer!  We played video games and plugged money into the jukebox until it belched forth sweetness and light.  I don’t remember drinking any of the beer, but this seems unrealistic to me.  I probably did.  It sounds like the sort of thing I would do.
We ended up at some point at an after-hours party, at which point my partner in crime took over the bar.  He is a bartender by trade, as previously mentioned, and now I can confirm that he is one of the best bartenders I have had the privilege to know.  He pounded out cocktails that I’d never heard of and the names of which I no longer remember… the note-taking had ceased some hours before this point as I was reduced by alcohol to the state of a delirious and wonder-struck child.  We all passed the cocktails around, admiring his handiwork.  The other folks commented on the flavors and the aromas of the different drinks, and at some point I instructed my bosun to stop providing me with alcohol.
I don’t remember anyone calling a cab, but I know one pulled up and the two of us got into it.  I know we stopped for provisions, and I know that when I got home it was just an hour or two before sunrise and the birds had already begun singing their morning songs into the eerie pre-dawn peace.

[ ← Part 3: Mysticism in Practice - Intro & The Man of Earth ← |
→ Part 5: Mysticism in Practice - Crossing the Abyss & The Hermit → ]

PART 4: MYSTICISM IN PRACTICE – The Lover

2) The Lover: Communion with the Holy Guardian Angel

• “O my Lord, my beloved! How shall I indite songs, when even the memory of the shadow of thy glory is a thing beyond all music of speech or of silence?”
-Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente sub figura LXV, II:48
• “And the Beloved shall abide with Thee.”
-Liber Stellae Rubeae sub figura LXVI, line 32
• “He shall await the sword of the Beloved and bare his throat for the stroke.”
-Liber Liberi vel Lapidus Lazuli sub figura VII, III:47

If one persists in the work of the first Stage, continuing one’s meditation/devotion with increasing fervor and dedication, one will inevitably come to this second Stage. The second Stage can be likened to the Grade of “Lover.” This is the middle of the Path where one communes with the Divine, the Absolute, the One, et cetera, as a Lover with the Beloved.

In Thelemic Mysticism, this Love or Communion is understood under the figure of “the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel,” and it is often symbolized by a heart encircled by a serpent or the Rose-Cross. This is appropriate to the Grade of “Lover” because this stage is often described as the meeting or union between Lover (the Mystic) and Beloved (the Object of aspiration); this is the “Spiritual Marriage” spoken of by many Mystics.

“Union”: It should be clearly understood that “union” has two related but distinct meanings that are often conflated.

1) Two united but distinct: At this second Stage of the Mystic Path, “union” refers to two things uniting but remaining distinct. In the language of Thelemic Mysticism, the Adept and the Holy Guardian Angel are united like lovers, they meet and interact and enjoy one another but they remain separate as Adept and Angel. “Love” requires the interaction and union of “Lover” and “Beloved,” though they are united. “Communion” may be a more accurate term. The persistence in this Love so that it becomes complete and perfect, so to speak, leads to the next stage.

2) Two united into One (or None) without distinction: In the third Stage of the Mystic Path (which we will explore later), “union” refers to these two things uniting so completely that there is a dissolution of separateness, leaving only One Thing (or “No-Thing”). “Absorption” or “annihilation” may be more accurate terms.

The distinction between these two notions of “union” is important because, as mentioned previously, they are often conflated by both readers and writers of Mysticism. For now, it should be understood that “union” in the second Stage of the Lover refers to the first definition, where two things are united that still remain distinct (soul & God, subject & object, ego & non-ego, et cetera).

The Nature of the Second Stage:

This second stage of the Mystic Path is often called Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel in Thelemic Mysticism. In Christian Mysticism, it is often called “Illumination.”

“And again I was caught up into the presence of my Lord Adonai, and the knowledge and Conversation of the Holy One, the Angel that Guardeth me.”
-Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente sub figura LXV, V:41

The primary characteristic of this Illumination is the distinct and immediate perception of the “presence” of the Divine (or God/Absolute/Lord/Truth, et cetera).

This “presence” is not a mere metaphor or artistic flourish: it is a distinct, direct, experiential certainty of the presence of the Absolute, though this is expressed in various ways by various Mystics. This distinct, direct, experiential certainty is one aspect of the “Sense of Objectivity/Reality” mentioned in the previous section on “Mysticism in Theory.“

• “Even as evil kisses corrupt the blood, so do my words devour the spirit of man.
-Liber LXV, I:14
• “I was stricken as a bird by the bolt of the thunderer; I was pierced as the thief by the Lord of the Garden.”
-Liber LXV, IV:40
• “All this while did Adonai pierce my being with his sword…”
-Liber LXV, V:14

This “presence” is often felt as the Divine “intruding” into the consciousness, so metaphors often involve “piercing” and “penetrating.” The use of the metaphor of the Divine as the Bridegroom and the Mystic as the Bride consummating their Spiritual Marriage should therefore come as no surprise.

This “Spiritual Marriage” corresponds to the second step of concentration in the Hindu system of Yoga: dhyana. In the first step of Yoga, dharana, one concentrates all of one’s thought upon a single Object, and there is much difficulty; this corresponds with the first Stage of the Mystic Path, the Man of Earth. This second step of concentration is called dhyana. In this second Stage of the Mystic Path, the Lover, there come times where the “subject” appears to disappear and only the Object remains, often co-occurring with a sense of ananda  (bliss). Dhyana also can be felt as a union of subject and object but not a complete union where both are annihilated. Dhyana represents a powerful and distinct stage of meditation, that is often said to be a lesser form of Samadhi, the total union of subject and object that is the Goal of Mysticism, characteristic of the third Stage of the Mystic Path, the Hermit.

The are various secondary characteristics of this Illumination:

“Then the adept was rapt away in bliss, and the beyond of bliss, and exceeded the excess of excess. Also his body shook and staggered with the burden of that bliss and that excess and that ultimate nameless.”
-Liber LXV, II:45-46

1) “Joy,” “bliss,” or “ecstasy”: Joy, bliss, and ecstasy are not the primary factors of Illumination, they are Illumination’s natural by-products. That is, they do not constitute Illumination itself, but they often accompany Illumination. Crowley often likens  Illumination to the union of chemical elements, which naturally gives off light and heat. The “union of chemical elements” is analogous to Illumination itself, while the “light and heat” refer to the joy, bliss, and ecstasy that are by-products of the union. This feeling is felt as a joy that transcends one’s normal likes and dislikes, one’s typical pleasures and pains. Conversely, many of the anxieties, worries, and fears that plague the Mystic will fall away or seem petty in contrast to this Mystic communion.

“Having attained the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel (by a male effort so to speak) the Adept becomes receptive, feminine, patient, surrendering his will wholly to that of his Angel… The aspiration towards Him is masculine. At the moment of achievement it is replaced by passivity…”
-Commentaries to Liber LXV, II:45-46

2) Passivity: The Mystic will often feel a sense of “surrender” or “passivity.” The achievement of this Stage requires great will and endurance, but it culminates in a surrender of that will. This is the surrender of the “personal will,” the volition or will-power of the individual, which allows for the Divine Will to take its place; it is the difference between one’s personal wishes/whims and the True Will. This release of “personal will” is virtually universal across all Mystics, especially Christian Mystics. It is because of this “surrender” or “passivity” that the image of a virgin is often used to describe the Mystic at this point: the virgin is “pure” insofar as her desire is only for One Thing, the Object of the Mystic Goal. In Western terms, the “virgin” is chaste except for God, and she passively awaits the coming of the Lord, so to speak. In the New Aeon, we understand this Divine Will to be nothing other than our own True Will, a more perfect expression of ourselves, rather than being something from “outside” of the self. We might say, “Let Thy Will, which is mine, be done.”

• “Neschamah: This is the faculty of under-standing the Word of Chiah [True Will]. It is the intelligence or intuition of what Jechidah [True Self] wishes to discover about itself.”
-Little Essays Towards Truth, “Man”
• “The intuitions of the Neschamah are guaranteed by interior certainty.”
-Confessions, chapter 64

3) Increased intuition: The term “intuition” means many things, but it seems to be the best word to describe this sense. Upon achieving the Stage of Illumination, the Mystic may receive many intuitive glimpses, whether through dreams, fantasy, certain thoughts, visions, et cetera. These are distinct from the normal “conscience” that Freud describes as the “super-ego,” which is essentially that little voice in your head that tells you what is right or wrong based on what you have been taught by your family, peers, and society. These intuitions – sometimes heard as voices but not necessarily – are a “voice” that represents the promptings of one’s “deeper Self,” a truer, more holistic sense of Self represented by the Holy Guardian Angel in Thelema. One may also start to see the deeper, more symbolic meanings of things, perceiving “divine truths” in the most mundane affairs; psychologically, this relates to the fact that the Mystic has opened channels to her Unconscious mind, which innately perceives the various interconnections and relations between things just as the conscious mind sees their differences. In Qabalistic terms, this is the “Neschamah” (the “spiritual intuition” or “divine intelligence”) that is attributed to Binah on the Tree of Life.

“A Man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him.”
-Magick in Theory and Practice, “Introduction and Theorems”, III:9

4) Flow: Related to passivity and increased intuition, there is often a sense that life “flows” much more freely and naturally. Things seems to fall into place without much or any effort. This is the result of “unifying the Will,” specifically the harmony between conscious mind and the Unconscious. The immense inertia that is felt in the first Stage, where one is fighting against the world and one’s lower nature, seems to temporarily give way to a sense that one is flowing with the momentum of the world.

“In this Light naught exists, for It is homogeneous: and therefore have men called it Silence, and Darkness, and Nothing. But in this, as in all other effort to name it, is the root of every falsity and misapprehension, since all words imply some duality. Therefore, though I call it Light, it is not Light, nor absence of Light. Many also have sought to describe it by contradictions, since through transcendent negation of all speech it may by some natures be attained. Also by images and symbols have men striven to express it: but always in vain.”
-Liber CL: De Lege Libellum

5) Light: The metaphor of this stage is almost invariably one of Light, hence the name “Illumination.” This is sometimes literally perceived by the Mystic at the moment of Illumination. It sometimes involves blinding light or an increasing light like a “Golden Dawn.” The Light may also be used by some Mystics as a metaphor for their sudden sense of clarity, of seeing beyond the normal ego-self and perceiving a much greater “presence.” Sometimes the Light is used as metaphor for the joy/bliss/rapture itself. Sometimes the Light is a metaphor for the “Creative energy” with which one feels one is infused in this Illumination or Communion (or “Knowledge and Conversation”). Nonetheless, this Light – sometimes called LVX – is virtually always present in some form or another in this second Stage of “Illumination,” whether literal or metaphorical. This “Light” is one reason among many that this stage is typically related to Solar imagery; Qabalistically, this is Tiphareth on the Tree of Life.

“I was also granted what mystics describe as ‘the Beatific Vision’ which is the most characteristic of those attributed to Tiphereth, the archetypal idea of beauty and harmony. In this vision one retains one’s normal consciousness, but every impression of daily life is as enchanting and exquisite as an ode of Keats. The incidents of life become a harmonious unity; one is lost in a rosy dream of romantic happiness. One may compare it to the effect produced by wine on some people. There is, however, no unreality in the vision. One is not blinded to the facts of existence. It is simply that the normal incoherence and discrepancy between them has been harmonized.”
-Confessions, chapter 78

6) Beauty: Typically, the Mystic will perceive a certain sense of beauty in all things. This is sometimes called the Beatific Vision by Crowley. The term “Beatific Vision” originally comes from Christianity, used by people like Thomas Aquinas, and it was used to refer to the immediate knowledge of God that souls enjoy in Heaven. The Mystic naturally and effortlessly sees the Divine permeating all things in the world. This is sometimes expressed as Unity-in-Diversity, where there are distinct things seen in the world but one intuitively grasps their underlying unity in the One/Absolute/God. This is often described by Christian Mystics as Earth being “transfigured” into a new Heaven, or Heaven (or “New Jerusalem”) descending to Earth, or realizing the Kingdom of Heaven is all around. As one example, Blake describes this Beatific Vision when he writes, “To see a world in a grain of sand, / And a heaven in a wild flower, / Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, / And eternity in an hour.” Similarly, Henry Vaughan wrote, “Each bush and oak doth know I AM.” One can see that Infinity is perceived, yet “Finity” or duality remains; there is still multiplicity but there is Unity perceived therein. Mystics who remain at this stage are typically pantheists, meaning they see all things as identical with God/Absolute and themselves as part thereof. If one persists to the third Stage, one comes to identity with the Absolute itself rather than being simply a part thereof.

Because many of these by-products of Illumination are overwhelming and enrapturing, the Mystic is liable think that this is the end of the Path. It is helpful to remember that this is only the middle pylon along the Path, and that the true Unitive Life has still not been achieved. This is why Crowley calls this stage “The Next Step” and not “The Last Step.”

“It is impossible to lay down precise rules by which a man may attain to the knowledge and conversation of His Holy Guardian Angel; for that is the particular secret of each one of us; a secret not to be told or even divined by any other, whatever his grade. It is the Holy of Holies, whereof each man is his own High Priest, and none knoweth the Name of his brother’s God, or the Rite that invokes Him.”
-One Star in Sight

Uniqueness of this Experience: It should be noted that this particular Stage is often very personal and unique, regardless of the underlying unity of various Mystics’ descriptions.

The way in which one understands or perceives the Presence of this Mystic Object depends entirely on one’s own history, make-up, development, intelligence, and understanding. One may see this as becoming the Bride of Christ, and another may see this as being pierced by a Divine sword; one may see this as a blinding Light, and another as a joyful Darkness. One may see this as an obliteration of one’s reality, and another may see this as awakening to Reality.

To set up expectations as to what Illumination (or Knowledge and Conversation) may entail is, in a sense, an impediment to being open and surrendering to what truly is. The descriptions of these Mystic states are, therefore, simply to be used as guideposts along the Path, not as absolutes to construct an intellectual system around. The sole rule in all cases is “Invoke often.”

Perfection isn’t immediate: Even if one has experienced the most blindingly exalted and ultimate version of this Illumination, one is not suddenly purged of all “bad” qualities (meaning, in the New Aeon, all aspects of oneself that are detrimental to or inhibiting of the True Will).

Although some habits may be “blasted” out of one’s system by the Illumination, some habits remain or return shortly after the experience of Illumination. There is further work to align the various aspects of oneself – body, emotions, thoughts, desires, et cetera  – under the “guidance” of this Divine Presence, of the Holy Guardian Angel.

It is typical of a Mystic at this Stage to think that she will never again see herself as separate from the Divine, that she will always be one with her True Will, that she is perfected, but the time always comes where this Illumination slowly fades away. This is a “non-abiding” union, and one inevitably “comes down” from it. The “abiding union” comes if one persists to the third Stage of the Mystic Path.

One must therefore be always vigilant to bring oneself to live more and more in this Light of Illumination, continuing the work of Purification and Consecration until All is One.

The Work: To a Mystic that has achieved this second Stage of the Path and entered through the Middle Pylon of Illumination or the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, there is still the final “crisis” of the Path. This final Crisis is known as the Crossing of the Abyss, the dissolution of a sense of a separate self, and a successful “Crossing” means that one has attained the third Stage of the Path.

“The Self surrendered must not be less than the All-Self; one must not come before the altar of the Most High with an impure or an imperfect offering. As it is written in Liber LXV, ‘To await Thee is the end, not the beginning.’”
-Liber ABA: Book 4, Part II, chapter 6: The Wand

To Cross the Abyss, one must surrender all that one has and all that one is.  In order to surrender all that one has and is, though, one must first build oneself into a Whole.

If one has not performed the Purification of all “adverse” elements from oneself and Consecrated all other elements of oneself to one’s Single Goal, the surrender will not be complete or total. The Work of the Lover, after having achieved Knowledge and Conversation, is therefore one of Equilibrium: one must build up all opposites (or “complements”) within oneself to become Whole, not being attached or obsessed by anything incomplete or partial.

• “The Adept is not a perfection of what he feels to be the noblest part of him, but a Microcosm. He [must] complete the formation of himself as an image of the All.”
-Commentaries to Liber LXV, II:45-46
• “For Perfection abideth not in the Pinnacles, or in the Foundations, but in the ordered Harmony of one with all.”
-Liber LXI vel Causae, line 32
• ”The microcosm is an exact image of the Macrocosm; the Great Work is the raising of the whole man in perfect balance to the power of Infinity.”
-Magick in Theory & Practice, chapter 0: The Magical Theory of the Universe
• ”[There is] the Necessity of extending constantly thy Nature to new Mates upon every Plane of Being, so that thou mayst become the perfect Microcosm, an Image without Flaw of all that is.”
-Liber Aleph, ch. 44, “De Sapientia in Re Sexuali”
• “Imagine listening to Beethoven with the prepossession that C is a good note and F a bad one; yet this is exactly the stand point from which all uninitiates contemplate the universe. Obviously, they miss the music.”
-Confessions, chapter 86

This Work of achieving Equilibrium or Wholeness of the self is the idea in Magick that is understood as becoming a perfect Microcosm of the Universe (or “Macrocosm”). This means that all aspects of the self must be balanced, especially the moral and intellectual aspects of the self. If one clings to the light and ignores the darkness, one is not equilibrated; if one clings to virtues and ignores vices, one is not equilibrated; if one clings to one belief and ignores its opposite, one is not equilibrated.

This is the reason that the “Higher Self” is a misleading term: this is often taken to mean that one’s “Higher Self” includes all of one’s best and noblest qualities elevated to the highest degree. In fact, one is seeking the Whole, both upright and averse, and not simply the Highest. 

This is what is generally said by Mystics to be the necessity of having a Love of All. This “Love” is not a sentimental or romantic kind of attitude which most people mean by the term. In the broadest sense, this Love is acceptance. In the emotions, a lack of Love or acceptance shows itself in the feeling of disgust.  This is why Liber LXV instructs us to “Go thou unto the outermost places and subdue all things. Subdue thy fear and thy disgust. Then—yield!” One must fully embrace all aspects of Nature, both the Nature of the Universe and one’s own Nature. The way to destroy demons is through Love.

This is the basic work of Equilibrium so that one may become a perfect Microcosm, the “All-Self,” in order that one may fully surrender all that one has and is. This why St. Francis of Assisi visited lepers, the sight of which disgusted him. This is why Buddhists meditate in the presence of decaying corpses. This is why Aleister Crowley deliberately ate Leah Hirsig’s feces to show he was indifferent to all material differences (Yes, that really happened). In short, we must confront everything that makes us squeamish, all that brings us a sense of disgust, all that we consider Evil… and unite with it in “love under will” so that no element of the Universe is not also part of ourselves. As perfect and complete microcosms of the Cosmos, we can then truly proclaim what is said in the Gnostic Mass, “There is no part of me that is not of the gods.”

Crowley lays out the essence this practice in Liber V vel Reguli when he writes, “The Magician should devise for himself a definite technique for destroying ‘evil.’ The essence of such a practice will consist in training the mind and the body to confront things which case fear, pain, disgust, shame and the like. He must learn to endure them, then to become indifferent to them, then to analyze them until they give pleasure and instruction, and finally to appreciate them for their own sake, as aspects of Truth. When this has been done, he should abandon them, if they are really harmful in relation to health and comfort.”

The Ordeal: The Ordeal of this Grade is a crucial one, known as the Crossing of the Abyss, and it will be discussed in the next section as the prelude to the third and final Grade or Stage of the Mystic Path.

[ ← Part 3: Mysticism in Practice - Intro & The Man of Earth ← |
→ Part 5: Mysticism in Practice - Crossing the Abyss & The Hermit → ]

Looking good doesn’t have to be painful or require a suit or high heels for you girls. Just use the right attitude and accessories;)

SHIRT: Vice (oversized)

Pants: sweatpants from Imperial (not so flattering but a fun challenge to make the whole outfit work)

BELT: NN07

NECKLACE: Design Fosshagen