Muchos de nosotros tuvimos nuestro primer encuentro con Guy Ritchie en 2000 con Snatch; yo por ejemplo me acuerdo perfectamente que fue de mis últimas pelis en los cinemas del centro, en la 24 con Séptima y en aquella ocasión me quedé con la rara sensasión de haber visto algo realmente diferente y pudo haber sido Brad Pitt como nunca lo había visto o ese mundo británico suburbano completamente nuevo para mi. Pero, al final, creo que fue esa forma de contar la historia tan peculiar y condimentada como sólo Ritchie lo sabe hacer.

Durante mucho tiempo viví fascinado con Snatch hasta que me topé con Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels y algo se rompió allá dentro de mí. Sentí que Snatch no era tan original como aparentaba y, por el contrario, era la re-interpretación de una muy buena peli (incluso en el Reino Unido la conocían como Lock, Stock and Six Stolen Diamonds).

En efecto, Snatch es muy buena peli pero Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels lo es mejor por ser la primera y clara inspiración de la segunda.

Sin embargo, la sinergia de las dos pelis en mi opinión es lo que ha hecho a Ritchie un contador de historias únicas, entretenidas y fascinantes. Tal vez, lo único diferente que ha hecho es Swept Away en 2002 cuando recien casado con Madonna le declara su amor con una historia, a su estilo, pero romántica (la carta es devuelta cuando Madonna le pide, dirija su video What It Feels Like for a Girl y se logra entrever lo retorcido de la mente y el estilo de Ritchie).

En esta peli en particular, el acento londinense del bajo mundo es encantador, tiene un empalague que gusta la primera vez que se escucha, hemos estado demasiado acostumbrados a Hollywood y su inglés del Bronx, Queens o Harlem cuando se habla de situaciones marginales. Ahora bien, si se siente la necesidad de sobrevivir, la pobreza y la marginalidad pero de alguna forma también se siente que esta vida de frenesí, vértigo y acción tienen un tono de picardía y hasta felicidad en sus personajes: La vida es una mierda pero el que no se la goce está jodido (pareciera ser entrelíneas la gran moraleja). Puede ser por eso que uno se encariña tan fácilmente con los anti-héroes de sus pelis o se tensiona cuando las situaciones se tornan en contra de ellos. Y es que es tan claro como los apodos o alias; primero que todo, todo el mundo tiene un apodo, es decir, todo el mundo es un malandro o tiene cosas malhabidas – nadie es inocente; segundo que todo, son descripciones de crueldad y de perversidad (Barry “el bautista” y una escena del man ahogando a un fulano, Rory “el quebrador” Breaker, Harry “el hacha”, etc…) y uno como espectador los asume como chistes, como ocurrencias, en un sentido completamente anecdotario.

Con las pelis de Ritchie sucede que las texturas de las escenas y el tono con que son llevadas pareciera que van muy bien aglutinadas por un conector invisible como lo es su banda sonora. Uno está embebido en una persecución y se escucha Zorba el Griego y uno simplemente lo asiente, no encuentra más que una sonrisa al entender el chiste en su literalidad. Para mi, lo importante de Ritchie es que escribe y dirige sus pelis como si fuera un rocker y al final se repite y se repite pero es eso. Un compositor de rock and roll en medio de situaciones londinenses coloridas y particulares.

Muchos se encasillan en un modelo de éxito y es fácil no salirse de ahí por la comodidad que genera el mismo éxito, la misma frase de su peli parece ser su perdición: Lock, Stock and Barrel se usa para denotar estancamiento y ruina. Pareciera que Ritchie con RocknRolla llegó a su tope y necesita un puente para salirse de ahí. Ojalá las superproducciones le den un vuelco a su creatividad y empecemos a observar lo que puede ser el amanecer de un nuevo momento en su vida. Mientras tanto, uno puede quedarse en casa repitiéndose una y otra vez este par de joyas.

A NBC anunciou semana passada o data de retorno da terceira temporada de ‘Chuck’. A season premiere irá ao ar no domingo, 10 de janeiro, a exibição normal da série se dará às segundas-feiras, a partir da semana seguinte, sempre às 20h.

Entre as participações especiais já confirmadas, temos os nomes de Angie Harmon, Brandon Routh, Kristin Kreuk, Armand Assante, Steve Austin, Robert Patrick e Vinnie Jones.

Confira um trailer da nova temporada da série:

Niedawno obejrzałem jeden z moich największych braków 2008 roku – “Nocny pociąg z mięsem” Kitamury, faceta od mojej ukochanej “Azumi“. Nie miałem zbyt duzych oczekiwań. Recenzje, jakie odebrałem od znajomych można zebrać w zdaniu “film o facecie, który zabija ludzi w metrze i zawozi ich ciała ludziom-kretom”. Po obejrzeniu filmu, mam wrażenie, że powinienem zmienić znajomych.

Film jest fantastyczny – i to nawet pomijając rolę mojego ukochanego Vinniego Jonesa, który był jedynym czynnikiem, dla którego zacząłem oglądać “Pociąg”. Tak ciekawie zrealizowanej makabreski, zarówno narracyjnie jak i technicznie sprawnej, nie widziałem od niepamiętnych czasów.. Wizualnie – miażdży; fabularnie również, chociaż przyznaję, że przez większą część filmu ma się wrażenie, że “ja już to gdzieś widziałem”. Poza tym, zakończenia i “cykliczności” funkcji rzeźnika domyśliliśmy się z żoną juz w połowie. Bez większego wysiłku. No ale to nie fabuła zachwyciła mnie najmocniej.

Pamiętam, że kiedyśm, po obejrzeniu “Jeepers Creepers” (aka “Smakosz”) zachwyciło mnie, między innymi, jedno rozwiązanie. Widz ogląda wydarzenie, które jest zaledwie wycinkiem żywotu Odwiecznego; nie jest to jakis tam sezonowy potworek, ktory pod koniec filmu się rozpłynie w lawie, ogniu czy innej cieczy (tudzież skończy na haku czy w kuchence mikrofalowej; Wesie Cravenie, dzień dobry). To nie rodzeństwo Jennerów, o cokolwiek dziwnych relacjach między sobą, wiodło prym w filmie – to ów Creeper był bohaterem. Uczucie obcowania z czymś Pradawnym; czymś, co istnieje w ludzkiej podświadomości, o czym krążą legendy, ale funkcjonuje zupełnie poza światem realnym – to wszystko powoduje całkiem sympatyczny dreszczyk na moich plecach i domaga się więcej. Dokładnie to samo uczucie mnie dopadło po obejrzeniu “Pociągu”. I chwała mu za to.

Preliminary reports on Submerged were bad.  In fact, when we were buying up the DVDs initially there were some gaps (and we still don’t have Ticker) but one of the first gaps filled was Submerged.  It was bought to be an example of the very worst we could expect from Steven Seagal’s straight-to-DVD fare.  However, Pod and I both found it to be enjoyable nonsense, definitely better than either The Glimmer Man or The Foreigner and I’m sorry to say I think we actually enjoyed it more than Into the Sun on that particular evening.

The story’s some bullshit about a mind control program.  There’s some scientist-type motherfucker that walks around in a white suit with a cane and a hat which really telegraphs the whole evil genius thing.  He’s definitely not using mind control to try and cure autism or something.  So there are a couple of unrelated scenes at the start.  There’s one of him arriving at a dam with a mouthy spanish-sounding clearly-renegade Colonel (the evil rank) and another one of some random group of soldiers / mercs who get dropped into a really stupid situation.  They jump out of a helicopter and take up the formation of a straight line.  They’re at the bottom of a hill.  But then they’re ambushed by a bunch of guys on the hill and on top of that one of them gets mind controlled to fuck and turns on the others.  The bit with the overacting colonel isn’t important.  The evil dam hideout gets blown up by something, I can’t remember but the soldiers do recur.  It’s all bullshit.

The first time we see Seagal is a huge way into the film.  It’s been too long and I can’t remember the exact circumstances but I think he and his unit are being held under indefinite court martial for disobeying orders or some such.  But I’m pretty sure they did it to save some people or something.  Anyway we’re introduced to them not through banter (although there’s lots of interminable ribbing so we know they’re a team) but by their names and specialties being stamped up on (I think) a freeze-frame.  It’s meant to let you know who they are, but it just lets you know they’re expendable so don’t get too attached.  So they’re enlisted to bust up the dam possibly and rescue the captured soldiers.  But along for the ride is Gorman from Aliens who represents either the agency that asks them to do the job even though they look more like the army or maybe he’s with someone else.  The NSA are usually the naughty agency, maybe he’s with them.  Whoever he’s with, he’s dirty.  They get around this by having Seagal’s team ditch him in what looks like a mean prank only to have it turn out there was a metric shit-tonne of bad guys waiting for them.  So as usual the plot is a peat bog of nonsense, but it trundles along better than Into the Sun because it has well-defined, if cartoonish, characters and somehow I didn’t find myself questioning it as much.  Maybe Into the Sun had tired me out.

I’m sure you’re wondering when the submerged part comes in.  Well, it’s soon.  Part of their escape plan was to exfiltrate (that’s a real word, check it) using a submarine that was housed at the dam? Maybe.  I’ve just realised how absurd that is.  Anyway, they get in and get the soldiers out in a battle with possibly the least thrilling climax I’ve ever seen.  A bunch of bad guys in fatigues (I can’t remember who they were and I don’t know if I knew at the time) and a TANK move towards our ragtag group of heroes through a big underground tunnel (like in Die Hard 3).  Now let me explain this further.  Seagal’s team, encumbered by unconscious marines, stand at one end of an enclosed cylinder with machine guns.  The bad guys, similarly equipped, but with a FUCKING TANK advance towards them down the tunnel.  Now, they’ve got the tank for cover.  Seagal’s group take no cover whatsoever.  They swap some very unengaging gunfire in which I think no-one gets hit.  Then Seagal rushes out and beats all of the soldiers hand to hand.  I can’t remember what happened to the tank.  They get everyone onto the submarine and submerge the fuck.  The special effects for this are surprisingly ok.

After they’re on the sub it takes a really fucking long time for the inevitable to happen: the soldiers they rescued turn and try to kill everyone and destroy the sub.  Before that we get a lot of bullshit posturing between Seagal’s ex-girlfriend and the scientist woman I forgot to mention they picked up somewhere.  This whole submerged sequence lasts maybe fifteen minutes.  A bunch of mercs whose names you don’t remember get killed, Seagal and a few others escape, including Vinnie Jones and the two girls.

The rest of the film is a blur to me.  The finale happens at an opera where one of the mind-controlled people is meant to be assassinating someone.  There’s a bunch of shooting, Vinnie Jones dies what feels like a disproportionately violent death for the character and then some of them end up in a secret lab somewhere and all of the villains die with bleeding eyes.  We’d both gotten pretty tired of it by this point, but we were never as bored as in Into the Sun or The Glimmer Man.  We were confused, yes, but it was that kind of confusion you can let wash over you when you know it’s w delightfully badly told story you’re failing to keep up with instead of Memento or something.

What I haven’t yet mentioned is the most important aspect of this entire escapade: Over half of Steven Seagal’s lines are not spoken by Steven Seagal.  I’ve noticed a little bit of overdubbung here and there in the other films but this isn’t tidying up, this is just all the time.  In fact, the distribution is so close to 50/50 that it never feels like there’s one voice, so it’s not like either of them is jarring or out of place, it’s just this wonderfully surreal experience of watching a character with two voices.  I don’t know why some of the lines were looped.  Apparently the film was originally conceived as having mutants somewhere so obviously the script went through some changes and I imagine they dubbed it to try and hold the damn thing together, but some of the strangest lines are overdubbed.  Anyway, this was the first movie Pod and I watched where the looped dialogue was this ridiculous and blatant and frequent.  I imagine the effect will become tiresome eventually, but we enjoyed this as a grand foray into silliness, bafflement and beautiful, innocent ineptitude.

Up Next: Out For Justice 

A movie still of Goldberg's character from (Untitled)

A group of business types are in deep reflection in front a painting of swirled pastels and circles. A sudden “ding!” sound reveals the group is actually just waiting for the elevator in the lobby of an office building. Outward appearances are deceiving in Jonathan Parker’s (Untitled), a satire turned serious film that feigns an honest critique about New York’s contemporary art scene.

From a reoccurring image of a plastic bag caught in the branches of a tree, to a taxidermy monkey with its face inside of a vacuum attachment, to the film’s plot and static characters, (Untitled) plays with today’s notion of how easily meaning gets applied to the meaningless.

(Untitled) mainly follows the consistent failures of the two opposite, yet similarly egotistical brothers; classically trained, pianist-turned-noise composer Adrian Jacobs (played by Adam Goldberg), and his older painter sibling Josh Jacobs (Eion Bailey) who achieves mediocre success.

Claiming as an obedient consumerist would, “ten thousand dollars a picture is genius,” the boys’ father along with one decorative art buyer favor Josh’s pleasant aesthetic paintings. Adrian’s “unwanted noise” compositions, consisting of a bizarre conglomeration of instruments such as; a piano, a clarinet, bubble wrap, kazoos, aluminum cans, broken glass, chains, vocal interjections, and a bucket, are according to Adrian, intentionally “not connected with life.” His egoist belief is that, “tonality and harmony are a capitalist ploy to sell pianos,” but the audience sees that his mundane, paying gig as a classical piano accompanist at restaurants and weddings is the motive behind his bitterness.

In the film, commercial art is defined by its effortless salability and mobility, but naive Josh believes, “what works is what people relate to . . . I’m fortunate my work crosses over.” Josh builds his ego around the ability to sell his repetitive, pastel color-schemed work, although his gallery-owner girlfriend Madeleine hides his work in her gallery’s back room.

Madeleine Gray (played by Mary Shelton) is the quintessential Greenwich Village, New York gallery owner. As fake and two-dimensional as her noisy, head-to-toe black vinyl outfit and skirts made of paper, she projects herself as the patron saint of contemporary art. She, unbeknownst to her boyfriend, falls for Adrian after witnessing one of his “emotionally bankrupt” compositions that mesh perfectly with her aesthetic (or lack thereof). With pretentious comments like, “artists need people with vision and no thought of financial return,” and “you can’t just walk into a gallery and buy the work, my collector’s buy art because they fall in love with it,” Madeleine prides herself on only representing “important emerging artists” who aren’t sellable, although she secretly performs quite the opposite act by selling boyfriend Josh’s work to the decorative art buyer to keep her gallery open.

One such emerging artist, the silk pajama, terrycloth robe, derby-wearing Ray (played by Vinnie Jones) is “proving process can be administrative,” a “reflection of our society,” according to Madeleine. His body of work consists of absurd, gaudy, decorated taxidermy sculptures of which he offers no hand in actually creating. Although he boasts, “I don’t make art that you have a spot for,” Madeleine arranges the work at her gallery to show that, “collectors can fit it in their apartments.”

Another memorable artist discovery of Madeleine’s named Monroe, is an extreme minimalist. His art labels, through a long and pensive process, are placed in arbitrary positions along the gallery wall amongst pushpins and crumpled pieces of paper. When asked about his inspiration he blankly replies, “If I could find what inspires me, it’d probably be . . . really inspiring.”

It’s downside after downside sprinkled with art-speak and tidbits of comic relief. The only realness to each character is their apparent lack of control-creatively or logically. It makes for a cast of outwardly interesting yet stubborn, empty, irritable characters who become predictable in their inability to grow or merely humble themselves from their unwavering egos. The movie itself is too pretentious for a non-art going audience. Maybe it’s the director’s quaff about today’s society, but it’s as hard to make sense of (Untitled) as it is to understand the Ray’s sculpture or Adrian’s music.

Adrian attends successful abstract noise composer Morton Cabot’s tribute concert, and gets some good advice from Cabot himself. The next scene cuts back to Adrian’s apartment, and the audience is given some false salvation as Adrian attempts to make more sense out of his nonsensical compositions. The bag caught in the tree outside his window reappears, with the bag freeing itself from the branches. Is it a symbol of real change, or is Parker fooling us with empty symbolism? It’s hard to tell, as Adrian doesn’t even perform for the remainder of the film.

VERDICT:
8/10 Acid Trips

It’s not often I get to watch a movie that completely defies categorization, and let me tell ya’, folks, it is quite the privilege.

Survive Style 5+ is about a businessman that gets hypnotized into believing that he’s a pigeon, an ad executive that’s continually looking for strange new commercial ideas through everyday encounters with everyday people, a British hitman that picks his targets based on whether or not their “function in life” justifies their existence, an ambiguously gay small-time crook that’s falling for his partner in crime, and a guy who’s wife just won’t stay dead. If the title weren’t indication enough, it’s as bizarre as you probably think it is, but hot damn is it one hell of a good time.

I watched this movie on loan from my co-worker after totally digging his last suggestion, Three…Extremes. I’ve never heard of it before, Netflix hasn’t heard of it before, Rotten Tomatoes hasn’t heard of it before, and even though those weirdos at IMDB have heard of it before, chances are you have no freakin’ clue what this movie is. No worries, I didn’t either. I’m still not really sure how my co-worker got around to seeing this, let alone managing to hunt down the back-alley bootleg DVD bodega that had this on sale, but, in the words of the great Jeff Goldblum, life finds away.

It’s hard to describe what it’s like to sit down and watch Survive Style 5+, but I’ll do my best. Alright, imagine your six-years-old, you find yourself magically transported to, say, the Japanese version of Candyland, you immediately chug five of those yard-long tubes of Pixie Stix, and nobody speaks English. It’s kind of like that, and that’s a good thing.

From a visual standpoint, everything just pops. Lots of bright colors, lots of wild set pieces and constant in-your-face camera angles that all very much complement the bizarro nature of the storyline. It’s a mile-a-minute experience – I had to do a double-take at my watch when the third Act started – and being that the plot line jumps around from one Survive Style to the next like a meth freak on pogo stick, I’d be surprised if anyone found themselves bored by the time the two hours is up.

It’s too bad that this is the only movie Gen Sekiguchi has done since ‘04 because the guy sure has a unique and captivating directing style. His look almost feels like Tarantino mixed with Chan-wook Park (Oldboy) mixed with Stephen Chow (Kung-Fu Hustle – awesome movie!), but still, that’s not really doing it justice.

And as it usually goes with these kinds of things, all five of the stories are all connected to each other in some shape or fashion, usually in a pretty integral way. Not exactly a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s probably the only thing about this movie that I’ve seen done before. Anyway, without getting too detailed, each storyline more or less breaks down into their own little running gag. Some of them really work – the pigeonman’s bird impression is hilarious from beginning to end – and others get kinda old after a while – like the ambiguously gay crook. The good thing is that the final Act puts an end to the gags before they wear out their welcome and adds a hefty dose of meaning to all the madness.

I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s actually quite beautiful in a way. Just what the movie needed to bring it from a 7 to an 8.

The only people anyone will recognize here are Tadanobu Asano (for those of you who’ve seen Ichi the Killer) as the guy whose wife keeps on coming back from the grave, and, quite fittingly, Vinnie Jones as the British hitman. Both are really good and Vinnie Jones just kicks ass as usual. Guy doesn’t really have to try very hard though, now does he.

Look, I have no idea how anyone is going to find this thing if they don’t already own it or don’t already know my co-worker, but if by some grace of God you find yourself lost in the black market section of Oakland, California and see this hot pink poster staring you in the face, pick. it. up. I’ve never seen anything like Survive Style 5+ and while it might not be everyone’s slice of pie, I’d still recommend giving it a fair shot.

It’s freakin’ hilarious, completely original in regards to its script and its direction, and it has one of the best ending sequences I’ve seen in a good long while. And it oesn’t hurt that the scene is set to “I Will Survive” by Cake.

Truly, truly awesome.

Qui a Latveria, siamo dei ragazzi semplici. Ci piace leggere i fumetti, andare in birreria, limonare duro e andare al cinematografo. Quando qualcuno decide di trasportare su grande schermo le imprese di qualche nostro beniamino, noi siamo più che felici di andare a dare dei soldini a qualche annoiata cassiera. Anche se tutti ci fanno notare che abbiamo una certa età, che siamo laureati, che ormai siamo delle persone quasi rispettabili e che il panettiere del quartiere ci riconosce e ci tiene via il pane nei giorni di festa… insomma, ci siamo capiti… nonostante tutto questo, noi giovani e semplici ragazzi di Latveria, non vediamo l’ora di sederci al buio di una sala per vedere dal vivo, dal vero veramente, ciò che su carta ci ha emozionato per una vita intera… E spesso, quasi sempre, usciamo sconfitti, delusi, arrabbiati che ci viene da sbavare, roteare i pugni vero il cielo, sbarrare gli occhi e urlare “Perché? CRISTO, MA PERCHÉ?”

La redazione è dunque fiera di fare i nomi e i cognomi dei colpevoli dei 15 più orribili crimini contro l’umanità mai commessi in ambito fumettistico-cinematografico. Come ai tempi di Dj X & Maurizio Seimandi, andiamo con ordine, calma e parsimonia: oggi andiamo a scoprire chi c’è dalla posizione 15 alla 13…

15- Superman Returns, Bryan Singer, 2006

Il problema con i film di SuperMan è che gli si fa solo spostare-evitare-aggiustare-modificare oggetti inanimati e mai gli si lascia la libertà mollare due ceffoni. E dire che Supes nella sua carriera fumettistica non si è risparmiato in ceffoni.
Nonstante ciò (Do you know Bizarro? Mongul?…etc) nei film il suo unico grande avversario è sempre e comunque (con dovute ma anche risibili eccezioni) una pietra colorata. Non si parte benissimo.

SuperMan alla fine agisce come una gru blu e rossa. Un film in cui non fa altro che sollevare qualcosa.

I grandi avversari e sfide di SuperMan in SM Returns:

Solleva aerei, globi di metallo e donne in carriera (senza provocare upskirt)!

Naturalmente anche il gran finale del film è costituito da una scena in cui SuperMan solleva qualcosa, in questo caso una Capri di Kryptonite.

Tutto questo senza fare riferimenti all’irritantissime storie sul figlioletto di Superman (mai bambino fu più irritante) e su Lois che si spupazza Ciclope.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Frank Langella

14- X-Men: Conflitto Finale, Brett Ratner, 2006

Mentre Bryan Singer era alle prese con il sollevatore di ferro di cui sopra, le redini del terzo e atteso film sui nostri mutanti prefe di sempre, passa nelle manone tozze di Brett Ratner. Il regista di tanti video di Mariah Carey, colui che ha rovinato la carriera di Jackie Chan in terra americana, ce la mette tutta per girare un film all’altezza dei primi due. Sfortunatamente le ambizioni del film si scontrano e si sfracellano contro una sceneggiatura orribile, attori costretti a dire a fare delle cose che li rendono stupidi (il povero Hank McCoy per esempio qui ne esce malissimo) e un regista che giustamente adesso fa i video per Miley Cirus. Si riesce nella difficile impresa di buttare in vacca tutta, TUTTA, la Saga della Fenice Nera. Il bambino “cura” Cameron Bright fa venire voglia di invadere la Polonia. Unica cosa notevole: l’inseguimento tra la nostra amata Kitty Pride (interpretata da Ellen Page) e il grande Vinnie Jones aka Jaggernaut (il Fenomeno in italiano). Infatti…

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Ian Mckellen

13 – La Leggenda degli Uomini Straordinari, Stephen Norrington, 2003.

Già dal titolo si capiscono un paio di cose: dagli Straordinari Gentiluomini del libro di Moore, siamo passati ai ben più ordinari Uomini Straordinari di Norrington. Per la cronaca, il nome completo di questo straordinario cretino è Stephen Norrington. Che a confronto Stephen Sommers è Otto Preminger. Ci si nasconde dietro a un “liberamente tratto” per non incappare in denunce da parte di Alan Moore . il quale ovviamente si è tenuto lontano da questa mega cazzata – e poter poi fare di testa propria. Con la simpatica conseguenza di aver rovinato uno dei racconti metaletterari più divertenti e intelligenti degli ultimi anni. Oltre ad aver aggiunto ad cazzum due personaggi come Tom Sawyer e Dorian Gray, si brancola nel buio cercando di trovare almeno una storia da raccontare. Con scarsissimi risultati. Sean Connery col toupé ai minimi storici. I soldi per gli effetti speciali devono essere finiti dopo i primi tre giorni di produzione per cui, dopo una sequenza iniziale con almeno un po’ di verve (leggi: qualche esplosione), il resto sembra brutta televisione. Una nota per coloro che hanno curato l’edizione italiana: Graphic Novel non si traduce Novella Grafica (perché io ve lo giuro, nei titoli di testa c’è scritto così…). Dovreste ridarci i soldi. O almeno la decenza di cambiare lavoro.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Sean Connery

Adriano & Fede MC

Eurotrip – Passaporte Para a Confusão

Outro dia li uma discussão no orkut sobre filmes, e um pessoal defendia ardorosamente este “Eurotrip”. Fiquei curioso e fui ver.

“Eurotrip” conta a história de um jovem que, depois de levar um fora da namorada, resolve ir para a Europa junto com amigos de escola, atrás de sexo, drogas e farra. Ou seja, nada de novo.

Sim, é tudo clichê. Mas, como costumo sempre dizer, quem vai assistir um filme desses não procura um novo “Cidadão Kane”, né? O filme, dentro do que se espera, é até divertido e tem seus bons momentos.

Num elenco encabeçado por rostos desconhecidos, temos alguns nomes legais em papéis menores, como Matt Damon, Lucy Lawless, Vinnie Jones e Kristin Kreuk (de Smallville).

Pelo menos teve uma coisa que gostei aqui: o filme mostra clichês negativos e exagerados de personagens que nem sempre são retratados negativamente. Os ingleses fãs de futebol estão hilários!

Enfim, para se ver com o cérebro de lado.

Min far ringte meg tidligere i dag:

“Vi [mamma & pappa] skal på kino i kveld - vil du være med?”

“Nei.”

“Vi skal se <<Looking for Eric>>.”

“Nei.”

“Den Cantona-filmen vet du.”

“Jeg er med!”

Det skal sies at jeg ikke hadde noe videre forhold til Cantona før jeg så filmen, men tanken på å se en fotballfilm med en ekte fotballstjerne i en av rollene, var rett & slett fullstendig forlokkende. Altså, jeg husker jo at Cantona spilte som nummer 7 på United & at han var en jævlig dyktig spiller; at han ble kastet ut av fotballen fordi han lagde bråk, samt at vi alle sprang rundt på barneskolen og sang:

“Oh, Ah, Cantona.”

Filmen handler om en arbeiderklassemann i England som i grunn er litt tafatt. Den ene stesønnen hans er involvert i et helvettes styr & situasjonen denne protagonisten befinner seg i virker veldig håpløs. Men han har gode venner på postkontoret som forsøker så godt de kan å få ham på bedre tanker. Dette leder igjen til at Cantona, protagonistens største helt, kommer ut av intet & hjelper ham med kloke ord & dét som er. Filmen var jævlig fin, av flere ulike grunner, men mest av alt fordi tross alt shiten som hendte, satt en igjen med en god følelse hele veien. Og Cantona, som lui-même, var rett & slett jævlig fet.

Hvor enn mye det smerter mitt Chelsea-hjerte å si det, må jeg bare få uttrykt hvor fantastisk fet Eric Cantona er. Fyren lirer av seg gullkorn hele tiden, & jeg tror jeg med sikkerhet kan si at han er den eneste mannen på jord som er heit, tross dét faktum at han har unibrow. Av geniale sitater er det særlig ett han er kjent for & jeg må si jeg lo jævlig godt da de viste det på lerretet på slutten av filmen.

25. januar 1995 (puh, ikke den 20.!) ble nemlig Cantona sendt av banen under en fotballkamp. Crystal Palace-supporteren Matthew Simmons slang med leppa fra tribunen & sekunder senere kung-fu’et Cantona denne idioten. Bruce Lee ville ha vært stolt.

Cantona ble dømt for hendelsen & fikk vel et års karantene hvor han ikke fikk lov til å sette sin fot på en fotballbane i England & Wales. Det ble senere innkalt til pressekonferanse hvor Cantona, vel… Han kom inn i rommet, satte seg ned, lirte av seg et brilliant sitat — helt rolig, før han reiste seg & gikk igjen. Veni, vidi, vici så det holder:

Og Cantona har flere andre geniale gullkorn:

“My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer it when I kicked the hooligan.”

Jeg har tydeligvis en greie for villbasser på fotballbanen. De som kjenner meg godt vet hvor glad jeg er i Vinnie Jones — som i alle fall var innom riktig lag. Mannen ble sendt av banen 12 ganger i løpet av sin karriere & én gang mottok han gult kort kun 3 sekunder ut i kampen — noe som, kanskje ikke overraskende, fremdeles står som rekord. Som min far bemerket:

“Han spesialiserte seg jo på å banke opp folk på banen!”

Og han gjorde i grunn dét. Hans, kanskje ikke stolteste, men definitivt artigste øyeblikk på banen var da han i 1987 tok et grepa tak om testiklene til Gazza, sånn just for the heck of it. Vinnie Jones, mann. Vinnie Jones!

Katie Price just can’t stand not being the centre of attention can she? I mean in the past 12 months we’ve seen her engage in a high-profile divorce, meet a new man, make a (bigger) joke of herself in the media, and now that we’re talking about The X Factor more than her, she’s decided to go back into the I’m A Celebrity…. Jungle.

But the bizarre thing is, rumours suggest that Miss Price will be paid a whopping £450,000 for a second stint on the show – the first of which saw her meet and ‘fall in love’ with her now ex husband Peter Andre – suggesting that folk at ITV reckon the public want to watch her bleating on every evening.

What’s more, Peter is apparently less than impressed to hear the news of his wife’s return to the Australian set, which is thought to be littered with the likes of gay makeover couple Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan, eighties page 3 girl Samantha Fox, Jimmy White, former MisTeeq singer Sabrina Washington, Vinnie Jones and ex-EastEnders baddie Robert Kazinsky.

Katie is reportedly hoping that the public will see the ‘real her’ when she prances back into the jungle… but I wonder if she’ll be able to keep her mitts off the likes of Mr Kazinsky and Mr Jones whilst boyfriend Alex Reid is sitting at home in Blighty.

What do you think? Will you be watching this year or is the idea of more Katie Price enough to turn your stomach more than the gruesome challenges?

Ruth.x

My original article can be found here – http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/blog/2009/11/katie-price-going-back-on-i%E2%80%99m-a-celebrity%E2%80%A6-for-450k-3377/

The Midnight Meat Train

If you are tired of watching all the heavy-duty highly sensitive movies in film festivals, this might be the movie for you. As a child if your interest in a particular movie was aroused when you read “maar-dhaad aur action se bharpoor” on its poster, this might be the movie for you. And if enjoyed the gore-fest and “eye-ball falling on the floor” movies in college, this might be the movie for you.

The Midnight Meat Train is a small budget slasher movie with elements of science fiction. The title of the movie is more or less the plot of the movie. Bradley Cooper (also in The Hangover) is a photographer who ends up investigating the mysterious disappearances of passengers in a midnight train. The rest of the movie slowly unravels the mystery.

The movie is very sleek and stylish. And it has some genuine scary moments. Vinnie Jones is scary and gives you goose bumps, the moment you see him on the screen.

p.s. This film is highly recommended for those guys who were forced to watch some chick flick or Yash Raj flick with their girlfriend. This will help you in flushing the chick-flick out of your system.

Le Film: Un très beau film qui ne laisse pas insensible.

Synopsis:

Franky vient de voler un énorme diamant qu’il doit livrer à Avi, un mafieux new-yorkais. En chemin, il fait escale à Londres où il se laisse convaincre par Boris de parier sur un combat de boxe clandestin. Il ignore, bien sûr, qu’il s’agit d’un coup monté avec Vinny et Sol, afin de le délester de son magnifique caillou. Turkish et Tommy, eux, ont un problème avec leur boxeur, un gitan complètement fêlé.

Critique:

Un excellent film fou ! Le meilleur de Guy Ritchie, avec un excellent casting.

Avec un Brad Pitt en gitan boxeur, Jason Statham en homme de main dépassé, Benicio Del Torro en homme de main ayant un faible pour le jeu, et un Vinnie Jones en homme de main sûr de lui et un peu excentrique et de nombreux personnages tous plus forts, drôles et fous les uns des autres.

Les dialogues, en tout cas en VO (version française pas vue) sont excellents et font mouche à quasiment chaque phrase.

Le montage est aussi excellent et si le scenario n’est pas le plus fou qui existe, il est assez bien travaillé pour passer un excellent moment et réserve quelques rebondissements et des interactions entre les histoires des personnages qui ne semblent pas artificielles.

Un excellent film au final, facilement recommandé.

90/100

L’image: Un transfert (très) décevant !

Si ce transfert en Blu-Ray apporte un supplément de netteté indéniable, ce portage reste cependant une très grosse déception, à plusieurs reprises (par exemple la scène des cochons) des espèces de stries verticales viennent gâcher l’image, comme si la pellicule avait mal été numérisée. De plus il y a comme un léger film, comme un brouillard sur de nombreuses scènes, principalement sombres.

La colorimétrie sans être mauvaise est un peu fade (mais c’est peut-être là un choix artistique) et les contrastes ne sont pas bien maitrisés avec des blancs qui tirent vers le gris et des noirs pas tres detailles)

Certains plans (comme un sur Statham à la fin du film près de sa voiture avec la police) présentent un grain bien trop présent.

En revanche, il n’y a pas de DNR ni d’Edge Enhancement ou autres procédés artificiels à reprocher.

Bref une grosse déception que ce transfert de Sony Pictures, pourtant filiale de Sony, inventeur et plus gros défenseur du Blu-Ray et qui devrait donc proposer des transferts irréprochables.

Au final et pour les possesseurs de la précédente édition DVD, la qualité de l’image ne justifiera sans doute pas le rachat du film en Blu-Ray. Pour les autres, comme cela était dans mon cas et vu le tarif demandé (en tout cas sur Amazon uk), il serait bête de se priver quand même, tant le film en lui-même est bon.

65/100

Le Son: Une piste DTS HD MA 5.1 pas tonitruante, mais bien sympathique !

Quelques petits effets arrières de bon aloi viennent ponctuer le film, la musique elle aussi se développe bien sur l’ensemble des enceintes

En VO, les voix sont parfaitement bien intégrées dans le mix bien de sorte qu’on a pas à jouer de la télécommande.

La scène avant est bien utilisée et spatialisée avec de nombreux effets gauches-droits et une dynamique pas dithyrambique mais assez sympathique. Le caisson de basse est par contre un peu sous-utilisé à notre gout.

75/100

Genre: Comédie/Action
Durée: 1h42
Vidéo : 1080p AVC 1:85:1
Zone: All
Doublage: VFF
Langues: Anglais DTS-HD M A 5.1 / Français DTS-HD M A 5.1 / Allemand DTS-HD M A 5.1
Sous-titres: Français / Anglais / Allemand / Arabe / Danois / Finlandais / Néerlandais / Hindou / Norvégien / Suédois / Turc

Walter Weed (Tom Berenger) is an unassuming desk jockey at the FBI when the Bureau uncovers a plot to assassinate him. A team of degenerate, psychotic assassins dispatched by mystery man Hal Leuco to win a huge bounty includes a resourceful beauty who has a unique method of killing her prey (Martha Higareda), a power-tool wielding psychopath (Vinnie Jones) and a deadly master of disguise (Tommy Flanagan).

The film is out on DVD on 19th January 2010.

This is image that stuck on my mind after watching Midnight Meat Train recently. A bizarre, and at times goofy, horror movie with many beautiful shots. It wont make the top 10 list but where the story leads definitely allows one to explore the mythology further.

Ya hablé sobre esta cinta en artículos anteriores, estaba realmente ansioso por echarle un vistazo, no se, pintaba de puta madre, Tarantino, Carradine, Madsen,  Harleys, 1%, mujeres explosivas hambrientas de sexo y drogas, violencia…

La dirige Larry Bishop, el tío conocido entre mi grupo de amigos como: “El señor eres más inútil que un culo en el codo”,  hijo del actor Joey Bishop y también actor, dirigió “Encantado de Matarte” una película que a mi personalmente me gusta bastante, al enterarme de este proyecto de Bishop y habiendo visto anteriormente su opera prima, pensé que podía ser una muy buena experiencia cinematográfica… me equivoque.

SINOPSIS: Narra la historia de Pistolero, The Gent y Comanche, quienes comenzarán una caza contra los 666ers, un grupo de motoristas rivales que han asesinado a Cherokee Kisum, la novia de Pistolero.

Bueno, eso sería a grandes rasgos la sinopsis, pero solo a grandes rasgos. No se muy bien como empezar a hablar de la película, quizás, empecemos por una pregunta: ¿Por qué Quentin solo produce mierdas de segunda? Hagamos una retrospectiva, veamos que basuras ha producido el señor Tarantino. Tenemos por un lado las terribles secuelas de “Abierto hasta el amanecer”, que en cierto modo estaba casi obligado a producir.  Luego tenemos “Tú asesina, que nosotras limpiamos la sangre” (nombre más propio del gordo Almodóvar) cortometraje que convirtió en largo y seamos sensatos, no le salió demasiado bien. Y por último  la saga de “Hostel”, que en fin, solo tenéis que buscar mi opinión en el blog. Ha producido más pero yo hablo de las películas de segunda que por alguna extraña razón a él le parecen acojonantes. Hell Ride me parecía un proyecto de lo más ambicioso y daba mi voto de confianza a Tarantino y a su equipo, bueno, en realidad a su equipo no, Michael Steinberg y Shana Stein solo han producido y dirigido mierdas, pero no se, se trataba de una cinta con un ambiente “grindy” de los que me gustan (como ya sabéis soy un enamorado del cine de los 70).

Bueno pues cuando la película empieza, parece que vas a ver una opera “híperviolenta” de moteros genial, pero se convierte en una hora y dieciocho minutos de diálogos completamente absurdos, personajes que van y vienen sin sentido, un Larry Bishop que realmente se pone las botas fornicando con todas las muchachitas pervertidas que salen en la cinta, quizás aprovechando su posición de director y productor, actores de segunda mal aprovechados… en fin, lo que normalmente se llama una puta mierda.

Hablemos de los actores: Larry Bishop, es un tipo que no tiene demasiadas dotes interpretativas, no es malo, pero muy pesado interpretando, de hecho me da la sensación que creó a su personaje, Pistolero, sin demasiadas pretensiones artísticas para que no flojeé su interpretación, que por otra parte acaba siendo nefasta. Este hombre empezó formando pareja cómica con Rob Reiner, actor, escritor, productor y director de películas bastante míticas y que conforman un núcleo contracultural de cierta generación, pelis como: la friki “This is Spinal Tap”, la increíble “La princesa prometida”, el referente humorístico “Cuando Harry encontró a Sally”, la entrañable “Cuenta conmigo” o la inquietante “Misery”… pero Larry pasó completamente desapercibido basando su carrera interpretativa en apariciones estelares en series de los 70 o ya en los noventa, en producciones para la televisión.

Dennis Hopper interpreta a Eddie Zero. No me parece mal que intenten dar una oportunidad a Hopper, porque desde que salió en “Super Mario Bros” interpretando al villano Rey Koopa, no levanta cabeza el hombre. No está mal, pero tampoco esta bien que le dejen interpretar un papel sin explicarle siquiera que hace en la película, porque me da esa sensación, el anciano Hopper se pasea por la película sin pena ni gloria y  dando la impresión que no sabe que hace ahí… Al igual que Carradine, que sinceramente me parece una pena que esa sea una de sus últimas películas, por lo menos no será recordado por interpretar a The Deuce, por que ni siquiera me acuerdo yo, su aparición es como un trozo de pollo enganchado a los dientes, molesto.

No me alargaré mucho más, Vinnie Jones me parece un actor bastante carismático pero limitado a los papeles que hasta ahora está haciendo en cine, no me parece mal y de hecho me gusta, pero hubiera estado de puta madre que en “Hell Ride” por lo menos te den una explicación sensata de quien coño es y porque se encarga de matar a diestro y siniestro a todo el santo mundo. Sigamos con Eric Balfour, un chaval que es de lo mejor de la peli y que espero que haga más trabajos porque realmente tiene potencial, pero precisamente ese es su problema en “Hell Ride”, Bishop no es un buen director de actores y no ha sabido aprovechar a Balfour.  Pasemos a Madsen, a mí Michael Madsen me parece un actor genial, es malo, sin llegar a la altura de Ben Afleck, pero queda la hostia de bien en las pelis que sale y el tipo quiere hacerlo lo mejor posible y se nota que se esfuerza, a destacar en “Hell Ride” su voz (la vi en versión original), más ronca si cabe que en el resto de producciones. Por último hablaremos de Leonor Varela, que interpreta a Nada… sus apariciones en la cinta se basan en follar o intentar follar a Bishop, soltando parrafadas bastante extrañas e incoherentes, y en comportamientos descabellados y que se salen completamente de tono.

La banda sonora se compone de canciones sacadas de otras pelis de motoristas interpretadas por el rey de las bandas sonoras de pelis de motoristas, Davie Allen & the Arrows, siendo aun así bastante regular, destaca la maravillosa “Maggot Brain” de Funkadelic.

Bueno, que voy a acabar que me estoy liando, cuando terminas de ver “Hell Ride” piensas en que coño has visto, si ha merecido la pena perder tiempo en verla y te sorprende bastante porque te das cuenta como te han vendido la moto con trailers cañeros firmados por Tarantino. “Hell Ride” es una visión de las pelis “grindhouse” de motoristas, como hizo Tarantino en “Death Proof” con las pelis “grindhouse” de coches, o Rodriguez con las de zombies,  pero siendo muy, muy poco efectiva, con la narrativa típica de esta clase de películas pero sin transportarte en ningún momento a una sala de cine sucia, ni a ese mundo de violencia “pulp” desmedida, un fracaso por parte de Bishop y de Tarantino.

Lo mejor de la cinta, sin duda, el cartel...

Se me olvidó comentar que a veces resulta patetico como cabalgan en sus motos, parece que el único que sabe montar es Madsen.

Impresionante la moto de Madsen

Hopper volviendo al geriátrico después del rodaje.

Då har samlingen växt till sig med ytterligare några filmer, och samtidigt börjar bli lite smånervös för den dagen när jag måste köpa om allt i HD format.

Snatch

Guy Richie´s bättre filmer, en av 2 dvs. Stjärnspäckad actionkomedi med imponerande roll-lista med bla Benicio Del Toro & Brad Pitt. Vi får ju självklart inte glömma bort att Jason Statham & Vinnie Jones är med och förgyller denna guldrulle. Ett självklart givet köp för varje filmälskare, även om den rullat stadigt på TV de senaste 6-7åren. Det spelar ingen roll, för den skall stå i arkivet i alla fall.

Snatch: 8/10

Köp: 49.-

Lock stock, and two smoking barrels

Guy Richie del 2, här är den andra bra Guy Richie filmen, ja den med det långa namnet som jag hädanefter kommer att kalla enbart för Lock Stock. Filmen är hyllad i stort sett världen över och visst är den bra! Inte lika stjärnspäckad såklart som Snatch eftersom detta är filmen som gav honom en karriär i Hollywood, men det hindrar inte oss från att få återse Englands badboys på film igen, dvs Jason Statham & Vinnie Jones. Denna filmen har också en självklar plats i hyllan och står fint brevid Snatch, Layer Cake & Revolver.

Lock Stock: 8/10

Köp: 59.-

Thelma & Louise

Klassisk “Fuck it all” film med 2 damer som säkert har inspirerat en hel generation med hemmafruar att säga ifrån och leva livet istället för att behaga alla andra. Vad vet jag, en bra film är det i alla fall och vem glömmer inte slutscenen?

Både Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon blev Oscars nominerade för bästa kvinnliga huvudroll med denna filmen och jag förstår varför, en riktigt bra film som sagt. Filmen fick förövrigt hela 6st Oscars nomineringar och vann kategorin Bästa Manus för film.

Thelma & Louise: 9/10

Köp: 59.-

Det våras för Sheriffen

…det är vad de flesta kallar den för i alla fall, “Blazing Saddles” som den heter egentligen, är en av de bättre Mel Brooks filmerna om ni frågar mig. Jag har alltid varit ett stort M.B fan så att just denna filmen hamnar i hyllan hos mig är ingen skräll. Gene Wilder var också en tidig favorit hos mig, mycket på grund av just denna film.

Blazing Saddles: 9/10

Högt betyg? Ja kanske, men nu jämför jag med andra komedier från den tidsperioden, dvs när komedier var komedier inte en orgie i kiss och bajshumor. Jag minns än idag hur jag som liten filmnerd såg denna film om och om igen på ett inspelat VHS band från TV. Oavsett vilket, det är en film man bör ha sett i alla fall.

Köp: 59.-

Newline Cinema performed a dramatic U-turn today, confirming sensational news that Vinnie Jones has been cast in the film adaptation of his best selling autobiography ‘Vinnie’ as footballer Paul Gasgoigne.

Fans had feared that there would be no place for Vinnie Jones in the film biopic, however studio chiefs, anxious to avoid any backlash from British cinema goers, have buckled to pressure and cast the British hardman in a cameo role as England maestro Gazza.

The film, directed by Love Actually’s Richard Curtis and starring Star Trek’s Chris Pine as the eponymous Vinnie, is currently being filmed in Budapest and slated for a summer 2010 release.

The Director told Total Film that he was delighted that Vinnie Jones had joined the cast and that Jones would also be acting as a ‘creative consultant’ on the project, explaining that the star’s presence would prove to be an asset to the production.

“This really is the best of both worlds,” enthused Curtis, “we want this picture to be as authentic as possible and having Vinnie there on set, however briefly, is the best way to ensure we stay true to the source material. It’s a shame Vinnie isn’t as young as he was as he’d have been perfect in the lead role, however once Chris had read for us we instantly knew we had our man. Vinnie’s audition was alright, but we didn’t feel he ‘got’ the role and could play himself. Chris however is exceptional and really captured what Vinnie is about, his charisma, his magnetism… It was almost like Vinnie was in the room! When Vinnie Jones sees the final cut he’ll be flabagastered by how much more Chris Pine is like him than he is himself.”

Jones is said to be disappointed to have failed in the audition to portray himself, but is just happy to be involved in the project ‘in some small way‘ and that his tea making skills will be ‘inspirational.’

The movie, charting Jones’s rise from hod carrier to FA Cup winner and described by one crew member as ‘A Star is Born meets absolute fackin’ nutters’, is due out next summer.

Copyright 2009 Crab Football. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. This is fictional.

Well I never saw this coming…and being that its a straight-to-DVD sequel prequel, I know why.  I saw this on Wednesday and pondered whether or not to post it, then said “what the hell“, it’s Friday.  Just a little empty entertainment to get us to the weekend.  But really, how many of us were asking for anything more from Aces?  I know I was content when the movie ended (and the end was pretty sweet I’ll admit).  Smokin’ Aces was moderately entertaining and a fun movie, however it did fall way short of the Snatch doppelganger it was trying to be.

Now as film fans, we really should expect more from the studios.  Yet whenever there’s a “well” that the studios can dive back into, there’s really nothing we can do to stop them – these days, it seems like anything is fodder for a follow up.  So, much like the Carlito’s Way prequel (that no one asked for and no one wanted) this is yet another addition to the heap of unwanted and unremarkable prequels/sequels out there.  This looks to follow that ill-fated formula.  Have a look and let me know your thoughts…

You may have noticed that I have omitted the ‘Sweet‘ that’s usually included in our trailer posts and for good reason.  I really don’t think this is ‘Sweet’ at all.  To be fair to fans of the original, this may be right up your alley and you may be “on board” for this.  Me, I’m just “bored”…little play on words action for ya.  Also while not to sound totally negative, I do own the first Aces, but I don’t watch it regularly at all.  It’s what I throw in if I want empty action and brainless fun. Unfortunately, this looks like it will do nothing to compliment or advance the original in a positive way…sad really.  With Vinnie Jones, this prequel looks like a rent at best but who knows, maybe it will surprise me, but I wouldn’t bet on it.  If I have to, I’d put my money on the other upcoming movie about ‘assassins’ …The Tournament.  Check out that trailer if you’re so inclined…

This prequel to Joe Carnahan’s original film is directed by P.J. Pesce and going straight to DVD.

Walter Weed (Tom Berenger) is an unassuming desk jockey at the FBI when the Bureau uncovers a plot to assassinate him. A team of degenerate, psychotic assassins dispatched by mystery man Hal Leuco to win a huge bounty includes a resourceful beauty who has a unique method of killing her prey (Martha Higareda), a power-tool wielding psychopath (Vinnie Jones) and a deadly master of disguise (Tommy Flanagan). Also in the hunt is the fan-favorite Tremor family from the original film, featuring nymphomaniacal gun-nut (Autumn Reeser) and her lethal kinfolk (Maury Sterling, Michael Parks and C. Ernst Harth). Baker (Clayne Crawford), the agent in charge of the operation, puts himself and his team in the line of fire to defend Weed, but it’s not until the smoke clears on the film’s explosive climax that the surprising identity of the plot’s mastermind is revealed.

Source: Crave Online

I’ve got a train to catch.

– Leon Kauffman

I never heard of The Midnight Meat Train until I heard it mentioned on different podcasts over the past couple of months. Being that this is the beginning of my “Creep-A-Thon”, I decided to check this movie out. It is an intriguing movie until the very end.

Leon (Bradley Cooper) is struggling photographer that listens to police calls. He tries to take pictures of the crime scenes before it’s cleaned up. On the encouragement of his long-time girlfriend, Maya (Leslie Bibb) suggests that he shows his work to a local art dealer, Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields).

A mutual friend, Jurgis (Roger Bart) has the two meet at her gallery. Susan likes his work but she wants real visceral pictures from him. Leon sets out to get a “once in a lifetime” shot.

Restless one night, he walks the streets of New York and sees a trio of troublemakers. He follows them into the subway where they are about to violate a model, Erika Sakaki (Nora). He takes pictures of the incident before it escalades.

The next day, Leon reads in the newspapers that the same model disappears. Leon looks back on his pictures and pieces together that quiet man simply named Mahogany (Vinnie Jones) is somehow responsible for the disappearance.

Leon follows Mahogany to work as a butcher in a local slaughterhouse and catching him on the same train in the early morning, killing people in the train cars. Leon increasingly becomes obsessed with this methodical killer. Why is he killing this people? Where is he putting the bodies? It becomes a cat and mouse game when Mahogany starts following Leon.

I thought it was going to another bloodbath movie, but the psychological aspects of the film when Leon’s descending into madness was gripping my attention. There were some interesting themes of this adaptation of Clive Barker’s short story. It was a psychological study of obsessive human behavior hidden behind buckets of blood.

I enjoyed this film when the final reveal happens. I was confused. I had no idea what I just saw or heard. Maybe it went over my head. I rewound it. Still didn’t get it. I was rooting for this different take on the slasher movie. In the end, I was disappointed.

Judgment: Two-thirds of a solid movie until the suck ass ending ruined it.

Rating: **1/2

(Untitled) (2009)  is a film directed and written by Jonathan Parker, co-written by Catherine DiNapoli,  and starring Adam Goldberg, Maarly Shelton, Eion Bailey, and Vinnie Jones. The film is scheduled for release on 23 October 2009 in the US.

Set in the artsy Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, tells the story of Adrian Jacobs, a difficult composer of equally difficult music whose sparsely attended performances involve musicians breaking glass and kicking metal buckets.

In contrast, Adam’s brother, Josh, is a commercially successful painter of vapid canvasses that corporate clients snap up by the dozen. But, Adrian’s luck appears set to change when Josh brings the stunning Madeleine to one of his concerts.

Not only does she embrace his work and ask him to perform at her gallery, she invites him into her bed. As the two embark on a fiery affair, Adrian is introduced to a world of pretentious art collectors, dueling gallerists and eccentric artists, including Ray Barko, whose bizarre creations include chandeliers of stuffed animals and dead cows draped with jewelry.

When Josh discovers Adrian and Madeleine’s relationship and Madeleine refuses to exhibit Josh’s paintings—even though the money they bring in is what keeps the gallery afloat—the stage is set for a showdown as discordant as Adrian’s music.