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"Papai Noel Depressivo" de Dennis Cox. A imagem ilustrativa não faz parte do artigo original ao lado

Papai Noel em depressão

“Quem, no Brasil, convidado a assistir a um show de Natal com elenco amador numa igreja evangélica de província, seria louco o bastante para ir lá com a expectativa de encontrar um espetáculo artisticamente relevante? Pois bem, acabo de sair da Assembléia de Deus do West End de Richmond, Virginia, ainda mal refeito de um choque cultural. Sincerely Yours, comédia musical natalina com script de Kathy Craddock baseado numa idéia de Pat Bragg e equipe, música e regência de Ron Klipp e direção de Bob Laughlin, é um espetáculo digno da Broadway, mais caprichado do que tudo o que já vi nos palcos brasileiros. São mais de duzentos atores cantando, dançando e fazendo acrobacias, numa coreografia complexíssima dirigida por mão certeira. A platéia vibra com a ação rápida, e a música entusiasticamente alegre se impregna na sua alma deixando uma impressão inesquecível.

SÁTIRA - O enredo é uma sucessão de situações cômicas absurdas, no melhor estilo Frank Capra, concebidas a partir da pergunta: como reagiria Papai Noel (Santa Claus, para os americanos) diante da atual campanha dos ateus, materialistas e anticristãos para escorraçar o Natal da vida pública? Sátira de um conflito muito real que põe em risco o destino de toda a sociedade americana, a história começa na véspera do Natal, com os ajudantes do velhinho, na maior excitação, enchendo o trenó de presentes e esperando a partida para mais uma viagem através do mundo. Mas o chefe não aparece: está trancado em casa, mortalmente deprimido, diante de uma pilha de cartas de meninos e meninas modernizados, insolentes, que desprezam o nascimento de Jesus e só querem saber de brinquedos caros – um deles prefere até sua parte em dinheiro. Um show de egoísmo e insensibilidade. Dar presentes, nessas circunstâncias, só serve para fomentar a vaidade e o orgulho. Sentindo-se um corruptor involuntário da infância, Papai Noel se condena: “Todo o trabalho da minha vida foi um tiro que saiu pela culatra”.

DOUTORZINHO - A sra. Claus tenta animá-lo, juntando um grupo de crianças para fazer uns afagos no ego do velho, mas as crianças só dão gafes freudianas e reforçam a impressão de que a infância está mesmo estragada. Erguendo placas para formar o nome “Santa”, conseguem até trocá-lo por “Satan”. Papai Noel afunda no total desespero. A esposa, atendendo à sugestão de tagarelas da vizinhança, vai ao cabelereiro se embonecar toda para ver se desperta algum ânimo no marido, mas enquanto isso ele é removido a um hospital pelo Social Security. Em vão ele protesta que não há nada de errado com ele, que o problema é com as crianças. Em cenas de uma comicidade alucinante, o paciente é submetido a todas as humilhações radiológicas, dietéticas, sexológicas e psiquiátricas de que é capaz a medicina moderna, personificada num doutorzinho de dez anos de idade. Quando volta, com a bunda doendo das injeções, Santa Claus nem repara no penteado da mulher, que então lhe passa um sabão em regra, acusando-o de ter perdido seu antigo entusiasmo visionário e se transformado num egoísta senil, rabugento, intoxicado de autopiedade, como o Scrooge de Conto de Natal de Dickens (leitura proibida em escolas “politicamente corretas”). Quanto mais ela fala, mais o marido piora. No fim, ele está decidido: não vai a parte alguma, as crianças do mundo que se danem. A sra. Claus resolve então entregar ela própria os presentes, mas os ajudantes não parecem considerá-la muito convincente nas funções de Papai Noel.

CONSPIRAÇÃO - Nesse ínterim, um investigador nomeado pela comunidade descobre que por trás de tudo há uma conspiração para desmoralizar o Natal sob argumentos hipócritas. A trama vem de uma ONG internacional do crime que reúne os piores tipos de todos os tempos: Lex Luthor, o Pinguim, Cruela, a Rainha Malvada, o Capitão Gancho e outros da mesma laia – uma caricatura cruel da ACLU, a União Americana dos Direitos Civis, cujo nome encobre uma quadrilha de puxa-sacos de Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden, Fidel Castro e Hugo Chávez, empenhados em proibir árvores de Natal, monumentos religiosos e qualquer menção pública ao nome de Deus (exceto, é claro, para os muçulmanos). Só que os bandidos da peça foram mais inteligentes que a ACLU: em vez de atacar diretamente o Natal, empreenderam contra ele uma campanha de desinformação, trocando as cartas de crianças para Papai Noel por mensagens forjadas para desorientar o velhinho.

Mas, antes mesmo que lhe chegue a revelação da trama, ele recebe uma carta atrasada, que escapou à falsificação geral. O remetente, Aaron Williams, de Richmond, Virginia, não quer nada para si: pede apenas algum consolo para sua mãe, entristecida pela morte de um cãozinho doméstico. Ao ler as palavras de despedida, “Sincerely yours“, “sinceramente seu”, Papai Noel se dá conta de que o sentido do Natal não está perdido enquanto subsistir numa só alma viva. É a lembrança de um Deus que se oferece em sacrifício a cada pessoa numa mensagem de amor: “sincerely yours“. Reencorajado pelos bons sentimentos do menino, ele já começa a voltar atrás na sua recusa de viajar, quando chegam os mensageiros do detetive e, contando tudo, lhe mostram que, por trás da imagem de um mundo totalmente materialista e descristianizado, fabricada de propósito pelos conspiradores para denunciá-la em seguida e culpar o capitalismo, ainda existem milhões de Aarons Williams. O sr. e a sra. Claus partem então para entregar os presentes, e a primeira casa em que param é, evidentemente, a de Aaron. Junto à cama do menino adormecido há um presépio que se transfigura em realidade. Jesus Cristo está nascendo naquele momento.

Já é o terceiro Natal em que a Assembléia de Deus do West End, com uma nova peça a cada ano, mostra o poder da sua inventividade teatral e musical. Vale a pena uma espiada no site do grupo, http://www.gloriouschristmasnights.com”(*).

(Olavo de CARVALHO, Diário do Comércio, 05/XII/2005)**

Observações nossas ao artigo acima

(*) Natal na Terra de Ninguém – No endereço indicado achar-se-á a produção da performance natalina da West End Assembly of God para 2009, No Man’s Land (Trégua de Natal), produção épica inspirada na armistício informal, pois sem o consentimento do Alto Comando de cada exército, ocorrido no front ocidental, no Natal do primeiro ano da I Grande Guerra (1914) entre soldados franceses, belgas, britânicos e alemães, quando as trincheiras e os fogos de artilharia cederam à troca de presentes e às partidas de futebol embalados por um multilingue Noite Feliz (veja artigo sobre o evento em Grandes Guerras e nos Arquivos do “The Times“ matéria publicada no jornal londrino em 01jan1915 sobre o ocorrido).

Charge da época alusiva ao surpreendente armistício natalino de 1914.

** Vide em “comentário” abaixo.

Along the Blue Ridge Parkway on a fall afternoon as a storm begins to break up and scatter the clouds.
© 2009 D L Ennis, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs but is to include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me, D L Ennis. Link to be used…(Visual Thoughts http://dlennis.wordpress.com/)

NOTE: Commercial use, and the creation of prints, must be purchased! For more information you can contact me here.

Young riders pick a destination and go… Old riders pick a direction and go.
- Author Unknown.

Roaring Run Road, Virginia - isn't this what we're all hoping to find?

Trust your instincts and feelings when exploring and you’ll often be rewarded. I’d passed by this road earlier in the day yet something drew me to circle back later and investigate it. Despite rain and the failing light near the end of the day, I backtracked and was rewarded with one of the most beautiful rides of the trip. It was worth it.

Roaring Run Road in Virginia is just a short ride, a little more than 4 miles long, but it was so nice I stopped for a photo to share with you. It was probably once just a remote and rugged forest road over a ridge, but it had been recently paved with clean smooth asphalt that maintains the curvy character you see here for its length as it follows the course of a mountain stream. It goes from nowhere to nowhere, but it’s the kind of places I’m always looking for.

This road and many others like it are found on America Rides Map “Great Rides Near the Start of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia“.

Entire cast of Real Housewives of DC at Hume, VA winery « Warren …
The Sherando Times has learned that Michaele and Tareq Salahi of Oasis Winery in Hume, VA are slated to star in the upcoming Real Housewives of DC, the latest installment of a reality series that has developed a cult following on the …

White House State Dinner Crashers Tareq & Michaele Salahi Named In …
“Even before their brush with reality TV fame, the couple had gained some notoriety for a long-running feud with Tareqs parents, Dirgham and Corinne Salahi, over control of the familys Oasis Winery in Hume, Va. …

Entire cast of Real Housewives of DC at Hume, VA winery – Warren …
Entire cast of Real Housewives of DC at Hume, VA winery Warren County Report Newspaper Michaele Salahi , in red, chats with fellow cast members at Oasis Winery…

Couple slips though security to crash state dinner – Democratic …
http://www.newsmeat.com/fec/bystate_detail.php?st=VA”la… Contributor Candidate or PAC Amount Date FEC Filing SALAHI, TAREQ HUME, VA 22639. OASIS VINEYARDS ALLEN, GEORGE (R) Senate – VA FRIENDS OF GEORGE ALLEN $600 general 07/17/00 …

DAVE DUBROW NEWS TICKER: SECRET SERVICE SAYS COUPLE CRASHED STATE …
The couple reportedly is involved in a long-running ownership dispute with Tareq Salahis parents over the Oasis Winery in Hume, Va., which has filed for bankruptcy. Salahi took his mothers attorney to court last year after accusing …

Rumored “Real Housewife of D.C.” Talks Life and Love in the …
Your husband, Tareq Salahi, founded Oasis Winery, located outside of D.C. in the beautiful hunt country of Hume, Va. Is that also where you reside? Yes, we live in Hume and absolutely love it. We also have a farm house in the Shenandoah …

El Mon de la Politica i altres consideracions.: Hume i Rousseau …
Lamentablement, Hume va malinterpretar el seu galanteig. Quan lambaixador, Lord Hertford, va ser reemplacat, l estada de Hume en el paradis va arribar a la seva fi. Mme. de Boufflers li va demanar que ajudes a Rousseau a aconseguir …

El Taller de Creativitat de Jacob: Al fons de la bota
Lil·lustrat escoces va carregar amb vehemencia contra els canons i, en certa manera, va ser el pare, el rebesavi, del tot shi val. Hume va ser un tenac enemic de la metafisica i, es clar, no es poden llencar els deus a la foguera …

Spheres, Shifts & Societal Transformation: Preaching this Sunday …
Manassas, VA 20110. The message I will be preaching will be titled, *CHRIST OUR REFUGE OF HOPE*. As of right now I believe my text will be from Psalm 62:5-8. v.5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. … Brian Francis Hume: United States: I do consider myself a man of fierce passions—including, but not limited to: pursuing the Lord; loving my beautiful wife, Aneta; reading (spiritual, leadership, cultural, business, etc.) and writing; fathering the …

marriott ranch hume va, oasis winery hume va, hume va map, hume va zip code, hume va real estate, hume va hotels, hume va county, hume va homes, chesley estate hume va, hume va accommodations, Hume, Virginia, Marriott Ranch, Bed and Breakfast, B\u0026B, Hume family, Crossroads, Front Royal, Wineries, real estate, post office, free encyclopedia, Virginia Is For Lovers, church walls, Old Tavern, State Route 688, Fauquier County, Virginia,

Today Michael and I headed out to the Green Valley Book Fair in Harrisonburg, Virginia, about 2-1/2 hours away (you know, because we simply need more books). The late afternoon sky was spectacular—simultaneously gloomy on our right with swaths of cornflower blue on our left. Then the sun broke through a dark patch, illuminating the barren trees. We were compelled to pull over and get this can’t-miss-it shot.

© Cindy Dyer. All rights reserved.

Today Michael and I headed out to the Green Valley Book Fair in Harrisonburg, Virginia, about 2-1/2 hours away (you know, because we simply need more books). The late afternoon sky was spectacular—simultaneously gloomy on our right with swaths of cornflower blue on our left. Then the sun broke through a dark patch, illuminating the barren trees. We were compelled to pull over and get this can’t-miss-it shot.

© Cindy Dyer. All rights reserved.

So it has been soooo long since I’ve blogged, but I have been extremely busy. I am moving to the Hampton Roads area of Virginia when the semester ends. I was in the area last weekend looking for an apartment and found something I am REALLY excited for. Now I need to focus on school and cleaning the apartment. My mom is coming out here on Dec. 19th and we are going to drive across the country together. My boyfriend got to Virginia today.

If you have never read it before, please take a minute and read this awesome story! Eight-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York’s Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history’s most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps.

Santa Claus will be here at the portraits shoppe all this weekend and next, Dec. 4th and 5th – just call us up or make an appointment on the web to get your children’s portraits made with him!

Okay, now that I’m fully recovered from stuffing myself silly over a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, it’s time for my ACC football picks for theweek.  A number of rivalry games from within the conference and against our SEC brethren highlight this week’s slate of matchups.  Two of those games have implications on the BCS standings as well, although both games might appear to be somewhat lopsided.

So, without further ado, here are my picks for the week:

• Wake Forest @ DUKE
• NORTH CAROLINA @ NC State
• CLEMSON @ South Carolina
• VIRGINIA TECH @ Virginia
• Miami @ SOUTH FLORIDA
• BOSTON COLLEGE @ Maryland
• Georgia @ GEORGIA TECH
• GAME OF THE WEEK – Florida State @ FLORIDA

Worth Noting:

• The NC State family has been hit hard over the weekend with news that two of their own are battling cancer.  The football team will be without the services of OC Dana Bible again this week after being diagnosed with leukemia. He is currently seeking treatment over at UNC Hospital.    In the broadcast booth, play-by-play announcer Gary Hahn was also sidelined due to surgery for prostate cancer over the weekend as well.  The news certainly has to be disheartening with the Wolfpack faithful, especially since longtime women’s basketball coach Kay Yow died earlier this year following a long battle with breast cancer.  My thoughts and prayers go to the families of Dana Bible and Gary Hahn in hopes of a speedy and successful recovery.
• Virginia desperately needs a win over rival Virginia Tech if there’s any hope of Coach Al Groh staying for another year.  He’s currently 1-7 against the Hokies and Frank Beamer, so expectations are huge for the Cavaliers on this one.  Another loss could mean the end of the Groh era in Charlottesville as we know it.
• Miami will be taking on USF in the first of a five-game series with the Bulls.  This will be the first meeting between the two schools since The Canes won 27-7 back in 2005.  The program at USF has taken off since  then, and has even notched a win over  FSU back in Week 4 of this season.
• The FSU-Florida game could be quite an emotional game for a number of reasons.  Not only will this be the final home game for UF’s senior QB Tim Tebow, but perhaps the final opportunity for FSU to win a game for Bobby Bowden at The Swamp.  The opportunity to play the spoiler certainly sounds intriguing for the Seminole faithful that have endured their share of hardship the past few seasons.
• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier is looking at keeping Clemson’s three big playmakers at bay when the two schools renew their annual rivalry.  In addition to C.J. Spiller’s amazing prowess, receiver Jacoby Ford has also put up impressive numbers this season, and QB Kyle Parker has been fairly consistent throughout the season as well.  Gotta wonder what kind of game plan The ‘Ol Ball Coach has cooking up.
• Duke and Wake Forest compete in their final game of the season.  The Blue Devils will be aiming for their first non-losing season in 15 years, which would say a lot about where the program is heading.  As for the Demon Deacons, this is a homecoming of sorts for receiver Marshall Williams, who played high school football at Riverside High in Durham and used to participate in summer workouts on the Duke campus.

I am so thankful for such a wonderful day. Great friends and family gathering around the table, where we went around the table to say what we were thankful for. I am blessed.

Dinner was by far the best Thanksgiving meal I have had in a very long time. The meal was fresh and full of flavor. It was a lot of work (since I was the only one cooking) but well worth it. Only a few non-local ingredients were used (see my summary below).

Farmers Market purchases (things I purchased last weekend at my local farmers market):

• 13lb free-range, Virginia turkey – enough to serve 6 people, with a bit of leftovers
• sweet potatoes – baked and mashed, with a hint of cinnamon, nutmeg, tiny bit of butter and salt
• Red potatoes – mashed with butter, milk and salt
• Brussels Sprouts – tossed in olive oil, fresh rosemary from my deck garden, salt and pepper. Roasted until browned
• Kale – sauteed onions, garlic and some bacon (not local) – then threw in 1/2 cup local white wine to de-glaze the pan, then chicken broth and kale
• Onions & Garlic-  for just about everything
• Granny Smith Apples – for deep dish apple pie
• Apple Cider – used as part of the turkey brine as well as to drink
• Eggs – for brushing the pie pastry
• Sausage – for the stuffing.

From my deck garden: Fresh Rosemary, Sage, Thyme – all from my deck garden. I used these for the turkey as well as for the stuffing.

To decorate my table: I used some blue glass bottles with sprigs of sage, lavender, lemon verbena and rosemary (all from my deck). Beautiful.

Local beverages served:

Blenheim Vineyards 2005 Virginia Meritage

Barboursville Vineyards 2006 Virginia Chardonnay

Barboursville Vineyards 2006 Virginia Cabernet Savignon

Afton Mountain Vineyards 2007 Virginia Gewurztraminer – by far my favorite of the evening

Starr Hill Virginia Dark Starr Stout

Shenandoah Joe’s Coffee

Non-local ingredients: Salt, Pepper, Stuffing mix, chicken broth, flour, celery, walnuts, some spices, coca-cola

Mob Holiday 09 in

Plus best ones so far

link

Vx

Humpback Bridge lays claim to being the oldest of Virginia’s remaining covered bridges. Located in Alleghany County, just west of Covington, it was built in 1857.
The 100-foot-long, single-span structure is four feet higher at its center than it is at either end, thus the name, “Humpback”.
© 2009 D L Ennis, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs but is to include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me, D L Ennis. Link to be used…(Visual Thoughts http://dlennis.wordpress.com/)

NOTE: Commercial use, and the creation of prints, must be purchased! For more information you can contact me here.

Here’s a fun little list I gathered to help all future visitors of my beautiful ex-city of residence dispel boredom:

1. Remove all the orange “modesty covers” from all the Cosmos and swimsuit issues at Ukrops (the only grocery chain store in town with a real health food section. You have to be a member of a church congregation in order to work there). Hide them in the bottom of the “Bargain Inspirational Books” bin.
2. Write the lyrics of songs by gay vegetarian 80’s bands on the dust of pickup trucks at the parking lot of Gander Mountain Sporting Goods.
3. Loudly say, “I chose life,” to the Sunday-starched family that whispers behind your back as you pay for your kid’s organic fruit roll-ups with an EBT card.
4. Call the many newly-razed commercial land lots in town, and say that you are a manufacturer of edible underwear who would like to start a production plant at this location.
5. Walk around with a laquered-up faux-hawk and Terminator shades as you wheel your child around in a grocery cart, and take spy camera pictures of people’s uneasy stares.
6. Wear a T-shirt that says, “I Support Gay Marriage.” Wear anything (ANYTHING) with a rainbow on it. Wear a tie (if you’re female) or a eyeshadow (if you’re a guy). Wear any vaguely Wiccan symbol at all, even something like the Proctor-Gamble logo which sort of looks like a moon and stars. Watch parents steer the kids away from you.
7. Overhear some kids talking to their mom at Taco Bell about how their friends are going to hell because they don’t believe in Jesus, and think Christmas is just about Santa and presents. Lean over and say, “Well, I’m Jewish and I don’t believe in Santa either. But I’ll have fun in hell opening Chanukah presents for eight days in a row!”
8. When an old lady hisses, “That’s MERRY CHRISTMAS to you,” when you say “Happy Holidays,” smile and repeat politely, “No… ‘Happy Holidays,’ Ma’am. I’m Jewish, and so were some of the Founding Fathers who signed our Constitution… you know, that little piece of paper that grants us all freedom of religion.”
9. Read right-wing bumper stickers while stuck in traffic. My favorite: “One war protester is not worth the spit of one member of the American military.” Also up on my list: “Guns Save Lives.” “You CANNOT be Catholic and pro-choice.” “I stand with President Bush.” (And will you fall with him, too?).
10. Count religious license places. IE: “GZUSFRK,” “PROLF,” “HESAVS,” “BLESSD…”
11. When cashiers asks you to “have a blessed day,” act confused and say, “As opposed to a cursed day?”
12. Count the number of Confederate flags you see in a day… on shirts, bikes, cars, tongue rings, can sleeves, dog sweaters…
13. Wonder why there are so many bumper stickers for the Paul Stefan Home for Unwed Mothers, but for some reason, you’ve never actually seen the place. Wonder why they choose a stork for their logo when the whole reason someone goes there is that they got knocked up. Wonder why “unwed” mothers have to be stashed in some home, anyway. Wonder why on earth supporting these places somehow is supposed to be empathic and empowering to single moms. Wonder if all these rabidly pro-life moms kick their pregnant teenage daughters out of the house to save face. Wonder if these places make money. Consider taking up a nicotine habit to get these thoughts out of your head.
14. Consider the nicotine idea more seriously. After all, there is a tobacco store on almost every block, and since this is Virginia, there’s no tax because smoking is not considered a sin. But the use of marital aids, on the other hand… that’s not only a sin, it’s illegal.
15. Try to pay your electric bill at a check cashing place. Get told by every place in town that they are not authorized payment centers. After the tenth place, get frustrated and be told “not to pull an attitude with us, lady.” Look online for the one random Indian deli in town that is. Find it in an abandoned parking lot on the bad side of town, in a storefront with almost no merchandise. Wonder if the place is a drug dealer front. Sort of wish it was.
16. Consider a drug habit.
17. Consider a whipped cream habit.
18. Count steak, rib and BBQ houses in town. Stop at 50. Count vegetarian restaurants. Find none.
19. Count paintball places. Find many. Count gay bars. Find none.
20. Call the Spotsylvania Town Center management company and say you’d like to open a Christian Marital Aids shop called “His Pleasures.” In a kiosk.
21. Wait 45 minutes in line at Carl’s for a drippy (but famous) old-school soft-serve ice cream cone. Forget that they only accept cash. Find a $5 bill in a compartment in your purse. Read a sign upon approaching the window that says “Sorry for the inconvenience, we are out of 1’s. Can you help us?”
22. Count the Starbucks in town. Use toes when you run out of fingers. Wonder how such a soulless, overmarketed chain could possibly survive when there are such amazing local java joints like Tickers and that place off Spotsy Crossing that used to be a dollar store.
23. Stand in front of a Christian bookstore and campaign for Equality Now.
24. Drive your non-transparent 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 plastics, and colored cardboard waste miles away to be recycled because the county dump and private disposal companies all just draw blank stares when you say that you actually care about this.
25. Get invited to play the organ in a Southern Baptist church by a total stranger who learns that you bought a synthesizer on Craigslist. (Yes, this really happened to me).
26. Attend a Nascar race. Pack wine coolers. Offer to spectators. Watch reactions.
27. Publicly consume tofu.
28. Drive to Fairview beach. Find out it’s not even a beach at all, but a few square feet of mosquito-infested riverbank. Have fun tossing pebbles into the water. Go home.
29. Spend your entire tax refund on fireworks.
30. Memorize the lyrics of bluegrass, country and gospel songs. Sing along to them on the radio.
31. Change the station, think you’re hearing the beginning of some cool Nirvana-influenced garage band. Listen and think, “Hey, see, it’s not so bad on the radio here, who is this cool new band?” Feel intrigued. Hear lyrics. “…AND HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS.” Change station again.
32. Try to get around without a car. Try to cross street for fifteen minutes. Consider a suit of armor.

And when you’re done having fun all day…

Run into Borders. Buy Bust, Curve, On Our Backs, random zines made by depressed college students with drug habits. Order some silver tips jasmine tea. Sit down. Relax. Sigh. Sing “Why Georgia Why.” Get a cookie or something to wash away the pain. Grab a store calendar. Hear a gay accent in the distance (occasionally) and perk up. Listen to songs that aren’t about God, hunting, blondes or trucks. Resolve to purchase a marital aid, even if you have to take out a loan and travel to Delaware for it. Promise yourself that THIS is the week you’ll get a sitter and finally try to attend that poetry slam, even if it sucks.

Oh wait… that rhymed. (See, I really do need to get to that poetry slam.)

Maybe I might even run into a vegetarian. Who doesn’t believe that orgasms obtained by any means other than the genital apparatus of an opposite-sex spouse, should be against the law.

Maybe they’ll even ask me out on a paintball date.

I can’t wait.

© Sarah Noack 2007

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"

I love Charlie Brown holiday specials. They take me to the happy places in my past.

There, I’ve huddled in my Sacramento family room flanked by my mother, sister and a bowl of popcorn sprinkled with raisins. I’ve  planted myself at my Philly grandfather’s knee and munched Pepperidge Farm goldfish, his favorite snack.

I’ve also snuggled with my little ones on our Virginia couch, raisin-studded popcorn warming our laps, as Linus awaited the Great Pumpkin and Snoopy prepared the craziest Thanksgiving meal ever. Now that I fix my own Turkey Day dinners, I wonder who would eat a pretzel, popcorn, toast and jellybean feast. As a kid, however, the combination seemed a natural choice for a beagle chef and his yellow-feathered assistant.

Mary

Time-warping for those 20-some minutes puts a spit shine on the daily grind as well as the challenges scuffing my life. This year, especially, I’ve needed an escape from my grandmother’s losing battle with Alzheimer’s. Where brown-eyes sparkled or blazed, glassy impressions remain. Where wit and racy humor sparred, confusion overpowers.

She still knows me, yes, and she has many good days. But the lucid, cheeky woman who taught me the Jive in her kitchen is transformed and I hate that. No, I’m petrified. She is more than my grandmother, she’s a second mother and friend. Who else but those two would stay up until 2 a.m. to help type one of my high school papers when it became clear I wouldn’t get it done in time?

Oh, we had our clashes, too. Most involved her not wanting to hear my opinion about the way she saw herself.  For all her bluster and bubble, she never felt good enough. But don’t let my sister or I chime a similar ditty. My grandmother would lay into us but good about doubting our worth; wallowing in regrets.

Wedding day

I have plenty of my own including not taking the time to record some of her trademark stories. She had a clarity of memory I still envy. She could recite poems she learned in elementary school or the names of all the girls in her graduating class. She’d bring her South Philly childhood into whatever room we were in with HD-quality sharpness. And watch out if that focus turned on you.

The day she called a friend she thought was drinking too much a “liquor pig,” I winced and marveled at the richness of the description. Other classics include “Hard heads make sore behinds,” “Oh, you really be-stank your nest,” and “You’re about to tear your behind, but good.”

I miss hearing them from the woman who spends more time in what my sister calls “her happy place.” She shares the goings-on there in what seem like disjointed little bits, but I hope her time travels are as comforting as mine.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of going out to see my sister’s soccer team make it to the semi-finals of their league’s playoffs. Unfortunately, they didn’t make it to the championship game, but they did put up quite a fight.

The game was so close that they had to go to a shoot out to determine the winner.

Click the link below to view the photos from the game.

Gallery: SOCCER IN THE FALL

This year, I started off Thanksgiving by walking the North Shore and Buttermilk trails along the banks of the James. Here are some of the sights.

Happy Thanksgiving! – I’m thankful for so so much, but mostly for the true freedom I have in Jesus Christ. Laus Deo – Praise be to God!

outtake – I shot this group of grandkids with their Papa this morning. And let me tell you it’s tough to get 8 kids between 1 and 11 to be happy and look at the camera (all at the same time). But this pic just cracks me up! And we did get some good ones out of the shoot.