Well… It’s taken from Waitrose really, but at this year’s wonderful Yule Do I was introduced to a dish that I probably wouldn’t have been tempted to try if it hadn’t been put down in front of me. It’s now my new favourite, so thanks Adam.

Serves 4 as a starter.
Preparation time: 40 minutes, Cooking time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:

knob of butter
1 tbsp olive oil
2 fat shallots, chopped
1 stem of celery, finely chopped
600ml vegetable/chicken stock
400g fresh peas (I’m sure frozen would be alright)
salt and pepper
1/2 x 20g pack of mint (leaves only), roughly chopped
4 tbsp creme fraiche or thick double cream to serve (I didn’t bother with that bit though)

What to do, what to do…

1. Melt the butter with the oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the shallots and celery, season, cover and sweat very gently, without colouring, for 15 minutes or until completely soft.

2. Add the stock and bring to a gentle simmer, then add the peas and simmer for 10 minutes until the peas are soft. Remove from the heat, add the chopped mint, and purée.

3. Push through a sieve if you want a very smooth finish. Taste and adjust the seasoning. Serve in small bowls, hot or chilled, garnished with a swirl of cream or yogurt, a sprig of mint and lots of black pepper.

David Davis

I really need Ian B to start telling us about Anglosocialism, for I think someone in a certain organisation has caught a touch of it here.

He thinks they sould only steal from “large businesses”. Better choose Waitrose then, old fella, for the stuff’s more expensive, and you only harm the staffs’ pay – did you know who owns Waitrose, old priest?

And here’s a Christmas message for the planet, from the Greens, in their own words, via CountingCats.

‘The ghosts of electricity howls in the bones of her face, but these visions of Johanna have not taken her place’

So here it is, Merry Christmas as Slade would say. Instead I’m sat here on desolation row listening to Dylan’s ‘Visions of Johanna’ surrounded by empties, fag butts and the remnants of mutterings in my ear of how we ‘Have to switch to decaf’.

Last night when I stripped my shirt off I realised it was probably a good idea to eat. I looked like Iggy Pop circa The Idiot (Berlin period avec Bowie) and that’s no good place to be. So going to Waitrose and buying a moussaka was a step in the right direction. However, I am a man with four ovens in his kitchen and I can’t currently work out how to activate a single one of them into action. If anything I’ve put the moussaka in the steamer and the results could be dreadful. Steamed moussaka. Can you imagine.

So here we are. It’s me and the moussaka staring each other out, listening to Dylan. I had the option of going to QPR today, but the prospect of sitting there shivering looking like I’d auditioned for the role of Sick Boy in Trainspotting (which was stolen from me by my schoolboy friend, John Miller, as he was known then – prior to his MARRYING Angelina Jolie!! – FFS!) as they shuddered to another 0-1 defeat couldn’t entice me into London.

Instead driving around West Byfleet listening to Madness hanging out of my car window and scaring upstanding members of society seemed a far more enticing prospect. Especially as I’d parked up in Waitrose in the mother and child bay and strode out defiantly, quite clearly not a mother and certainly without child. I did however purchase a good Barolo, The Guardian and 20 Marlboro Lights so that shouldn’t shake them up too much at the Anarchist Society.

You’ve got your mother with child bays, your pensioners bays, but why is there not a bay for ‘Man with raging hangover’ which, if the supermarkets had any sense of empathy would be at a diagnol and across several regular bays.

Sky Sports is on in the background and if Linvoy Primus gives me another ‘insight’ I may scream. Such a garish suit and all. Avram Grant depresses me as well. He is about as much use as Schindler without the fucking list. What would suit me now is watching about ten hours of Come Dine With Me without being questioned on my views of a well-known low cost supermarket chain. Is that possible? I doubt it.

That moussaka is going to be steamed or boiled soon. Dylan still throatily gasping in every room of the house. And I’ve just had a cal from Lee Blewett to say the Rangers are 1-0 up. That’s a lesson learned. Wheenver I stay away we get a result. I should apply that to other elements of my life and we’d all be winning.

Waitrose Takeaway and some vino. Marvellous. For clarification, I didn’t finish ALL of the empty pots.

Seven months of reflection has led me to realise just what it is I truly miss about home. I really love living in Singapore, it has so many advantages, but there are just some things that you cannot replace or get used to living without. So here is the “Miss List” so far (in no particular order)….

#1. Friends and Family

This one goes without saying. The wonders of modern technology (also known as Skype) have proved a fantastic aid in helping me keep in touch. Most weekends I am able to speak to and see my parents and my sister and her kids online. It makes such an enormous difference – the only problem is coordinating times we’ll both be in and available given the time difference. But it can’t replace physically being there to see my neice and nephews grow up. I know they will all have changed so much by the time I get to go back home, especially baby O.

#2. Mediterranean produce at normal prices

I never gave it a second thought before we moved out here. Items that were staples in my weekly supermarket shop are no longer the norm, but have to be treated as luxuries. My local supermarket is exactly that, a “local” supermarket brimming with every kind of asian produce you can imagine, which is great, but I have to trek elsewhere to find European goods other than pasta. Jason’s Market Place is the place to go for US, UK and Japanese imported goods. It’s great because it stocks most of my creature comforts from home, even some Waitrose products would you believe! But they’re at a premium price. A small tub of hummus or a pack of mozarella or feta cheese will set me back around £6. Ouch. So my evening meal often has to be planned around whether I’ll be going anywhere near Jason’s if it requires anything non-asian.

#3. Not feeling like a heifer in clothes shops

Now, I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and acknowledge the fact that I have put a few extra pounds on over the past year, which may mean I can’t always squeeze into a size 10 these days, but that hardly makes me a heifer. Or does it? It’s fair to say most Asian women are tiny. A friend of mine is a size 6 and wears size 2 shoes. I feel like the jolly green giant next to her. Obviously you do get “larger” people, but they’re definitely in the minority. So it can sometimes be a little traumatic when shopping for clothes, particularly in homegrown stores. I’ll often have to ask, “what’s the largest size you do?” and be disappointed when I can’t get in it. Shopping in the UK stores that we have here is better, but one famous US store here only stocks up to a size 10!! I know for a fact that this store sells at least to a 14 or 16 in the UK.  I suppose it’s a good way to deter me from shopping as much as I’d like!

#4. The Christmas run-up

A week today, children all around the world will be waking up at the crack of dawn and rushing downstairs to see if Santa’s paid them a visit. I still do the same thing as I’m just a big kid at heart, especially so at this time of year. With just a week to go I’d normally be bouncing off the walls with excitement. But I’m not. December in the tropics really just isn’t the same. I guess part of it lies in the fact that my usual Christmas routines have gone out the window this year. No battling down Oxford St in the cold to buy pressies. No festive drinks/lunches with friends or work’s Christmas parties. No driving up North with tinsel across the back window and Chris Rea’s “Driving home for Christmas” blaring out the stereo. No excited hugs from my parents and my glee at seeing our family home transformed into a Christmas grotto. No taking my niece and nephew to the crib service at church….  But all that said, I do have homemade mince pies baking in the oven as I type and I’m off to a friend’s for a “Christmas in the Tropics” party later tonight, so perhaps that festive spirit will sneak up on me soon. Here’s hoping!

#5. Blonde hair proucts

My roots are a nightmare at the moment. It has been four long months since I went to the hairdressers (whilst I was over in the UK in August), and I am in desperate need of a good cut and colour. My split ends’, split ends have split ends on them! The cut I can sort out, but I’ve asked around in all ex-pat quarters and been told time and time again that there is only one place in Singers where I can get a decent set of blonde highlights – Toni and Guy. Unfortunately, their prices are pretty extortionate and I can’t justify going until after the next pay day so I shall have to accept my mish mash of browny-blondeness for a while longer. I can’t even buy a home dye kit or, heaven forbid, a bottle of Sun-in. I have searched and searched but to no avail. I even had to send a plea to my big sis to post me out some blonde coloured hair grips. And no surprises that John Frieda’s Sheer Blonde range (or anything similar) is not for sale anywhere.

#6. British Crisps

Namely cheesy Quavers or any variety of cheese & onion. It’s a weird and trivial thing to put on the list, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hankered after a packet when I’ve been feeling poorly or a little worse for wear after too many lychee martinis the night before. The nearest thing I can get here is Sour Cream and Onion, but it’s just not the same. However, we do get some interesting flavours not available on the shelves of Tesco, including seaweed, oyster mushroom and salmon wasabi. Anyone want a pack posting?!!

#7. Picking up the phone for a natter

It used to be a favourite way of mine to unwind after a long, hard day at the office. I’d pick up my mobile and call a mate for a good gossip on my way home. There’s nothing like it to pick you up! I just can’t do that anymore. By the time I’m ready for bed each night, my friends are only just coming back from their lunch hour back in the UK. Phonecalls have to be precision planned and will inevitably involve me having to stay up late or wake up at an ungodly hour to catch them in the evening. It’s not impossible, but it’s just not easy. I feel quite disconnected from some good friends who I’d usually speak to a couple of times a month, it feels weird to not know what’s going on in their lives. I need to get them using Skype!

There’s probably more, but these are the ones that jump to mind right now. On the flip side, there are many things I don’t miss including, the daily commute, unreliable transport,  grey dank cold days, the nights closing in, reality tv shows and gangs of threatening teenagers! Ah, good old Blighty, I can’t help but miss you!

Ever wondered what Gary Barlow puts out for Santa on Christmas Eve? Him and lots more amazing celebrities are ready to share some festive fun with you!

Make the Waitrose’s holiday page your homepage!

This site is packed with holiday cheer! Help Santa deliver presents in the “Pie in the Sky” game – a fun and free game, which should keep you and the kids happy whilst its far too cold to venture out!

You can also download some great Christmas tunes and take a look at the video advent calendar where every day there is a different message from some very special guests; Gary Barlow, Dick and Dom, Sophie Ellis Bexter to name but a few!

The best news of all? – By making this entertaining site your homepage for at least 24 hours Waitrose will donate 25p to Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity. The site even provides you with instructions on how to make it your homepages in a few easy steps. There are also easy links to allow you to share the page with friends.

During this holiday season help those in need; in this case it’s only a few clicks away. What are you waiting for?! Make this your home-page now.

Happy holidays!

A few weeks ago, on-trade, off-trade and wine producers attended the Christmas Wine Fair organised by the Wine Gang, a dynamic team of charismatic people passionate about wine: Olly Smith of BBC1’s Saturday Kitchen, Tom Cannavan of wine-pages.com, Anthony Rose of the Independent, Joanna Simon of House & Garden and Tim Atkin MW of the Observer.

The day was an opportunity for the wine industry to showcase its best products and to offer consumers and professionals a completely new experience aka wine that they would fall in love with. For one day, thousand of bottles were exhibited on long tables, trying to look and taste their best to seduce hundreds of wine novices and experts.

But beyond the endless list of wines presented that day, the Wine Gang Christmas Fair was the opportunity to meet the people who make the industry what it is, be they small producers or multiple specialist off-trade retailers.

But choosing a wine goes beyond simply picking from a list. Just as you wouldn’t buy a pair of red trousers to go with your pink top (trust me, not a good idea!), your choice of a wine should be made to match the meal you have in mind. The time has come to consider wine as the (best) half of a dish, the other half being the food!

However, the essential question remains: how to help people pick the right wine to match their meal from all those bottles that share endless shelves in a supermarket? ‘Lost’ describes the state of the shopper desperately looking for THE bottle that will reveal all the flavours of a dish cooked with so much love.

With the multispecialists exhibited at the Christmas Wine Fair, it was the perfect opportunity to ask them directly how they help their consumers make their choices.

“When a consumer comes to see us, we always first ask him about the meal he or she has in mind. From there, we work together for the best matching option. For us, the pairing is very important. Most of the people in our team are really into food and it is an exciting challenge to find the perfect match.”- OddBins

“We put as much information in front of the customers to give them all the details they need to know about the wine. More and more customers want to learn about wine and we make sure to give them as much information on the shelves with all the details they need. We organise a wine and food festival where we showcase meals with pairing wines. Our consumers can also refer to the Sainsbury’s magazine that gives a lot of information about how to pair food and wine.”- Sainsbury’s

“All our Finest* wines include simple food and wine matching suggestions on the back to guide customer choice. Our latest venture has been the installation of “Great With ..” features that helps customers match wines to popular food categories such as chicken, beef, desserts, etc. In addition, the Tesco Wine Club is a great educational aid for those wanting to learn more about food and wine matching. We try to offer additional guidance where we can – either online or in-store – that is not too intimidating or intrusive and suits our customers’ needs.” – Tesco

“We organise in-store tasting to make people try something different and to know about our customers’ taste . We also make suggestions how to match certain dishes with wine. We try to inform our customers as much as we can for them to enjoy a great food and wine pairing experience.” – Waitrose

Two people, passionate about wine had the idea to launch the innovative website, FindWine, which strives to resolve all your wine pairing issues. All they need to know is what style of wine you like, which food you would like to pair it with and how much you want to spend. In three clicks, the site gives you a selection of perfect matches! How clever!

When you are an amateur, choosing wine isn’t an easy task. However, there are plenty of opportunities to learn about wine out there, including winery visits, a chat with a sommelier while ordering your meal, a wine tasting course or even a wine matching dinner. Just as the best way to know if you like a dish is to taste it, wine also deserves to be tried and enjoyed… with moderation of course!… but be sure to moderate your moderation as well!

I do love Wholefoods Market but I’ve got a lot to say about what they should be doing to make their Kensington venture more successful.  In fact, 2 years ago I wrote them an analysis and recommendations report outlining just those ideas…and they liked it enough to invite me in to discuss.  Thanks guys!  I’ll post those notes at a later date but to start with, I wanted to share some new ideas about how to increase sales in the downstairs takeaway section (I got some of this inspiration from a recent trip to the US).

On the ground floor there is a takeaway section – with the emphasis on 3 banks of DIY build-a-box salads and other food fayre.  There is a large choice of hot food, cold food and a whole area dedicated to no-oil healthy things.  The idea in principal is great but it just doesn’t work.

Why not? Let’s look at a successful example.

If you visit the WFM in Venice, California you will see packs of bronzed hipsters and families eating from a similar (if not much bigger and more exciting) takeaway section in their store.  It’s seen as a convenient, wholesome, healthy and delicious alternative to cooking at home.  The food is delicious, the choice expansive and there is an outside dining area where customers eat (they also have the good fortune of fabulous, year-round weather). There is a huge car park for easy accessibility and loading.  Friends of mine living in the area ‘dine’ at WFM at least 3 times a week.  Eating here is not considered the cheapest option, but is by no means prohibitive either.  I guess you’d call it a cool and vibrant hangout.

Compare this to the UK version. I rarely see anyone eating from here.  I have on several occasions tried the food and have been thoroughly disappointed with the flavours (unlike my US experiences which were always very pleasurable).  There are some delicious dishes such as the Chickpea Chana and Spelt with tomatoes but many are bland or too greasy (ironic for a health food store).  I tried some of the chicken satay and tofu bars from the deli counter and they came cold, hard and congealed.  Before ordering I’d asked if the satay was fatty and was non-passionately told that it wasn’t as it was made from a chicken fillet.  However, when I bit into the meat, I encountered lots of fatty bits.

What else isn’t working?

Sales in this area are hampered by the customers’ perceived expense of the food mixed with ‘fear of the unknown’ : the food looks like canteen food but the prices seem designer….and as a weight-based pricing system it’s difficult to know how much you are spending.  It doesn’t feel comfortable or fun choosing food if you think you are going to be whacked with a large bill at the end (particularly if it then doesn’t taste amazing).  And unlike sandwiches or other takeaway items, you can’t return your food if you think you’ve spent too much  – once you start making up your box you have to pay for it whatever.

The last point that I’d like to make is that the area lacks vibe.  As I will go on to mention in future comments about ‘What Wholefoods Kensington Should Do’, vibe and experience is the key to making the store a success.  M&S and Waitrose have organic and gourmand to rival WFM but they do it in their own chic, upscale way. People pay those prices because it feels great / special / luxurious to be shopping in those stores.  The lower priced supermarkets and discounters such as Asda, Tesco and Lidl offer food at unbeatable prices – it feels great to get goods at special prices.  And so Wholefoods must attract customers not just on the strength of its amazing grocery offer but on the special All-American atmosphere, great customer experience and first class customer service.

What Wholefoods Market Should Do to Increase Sales in the Takeaway Section

We can’t change the weather or add a huge carpark to the store but there are measures which I believe will make a difference.

1. Offer set price boxes so the customer knows what they are paying for.  If this is too drastic, lower the prices!

2. Improve the recipes and aesthetic appeal of food offer.  I know WFM don’t like to compare themselves to competitors but the food offer at Planet Organic is far more appealing and healthy looking.

3. Create a ground floor dining area adjacent to the takeaway banks (currently a hamper section).  This would encourage lunch time eaters into the store and attract night time eaters who want a fun and easy dinner meal.  This area is wasted on hampers and makes an ideal dining proposition because it’s a cosy space (unlike the rest of store) plus people can see in and diners can see out (hey we have a vibe!).  I know there is plenty of room to eat takeaway upstairs but the sheer thought of going up another floor is off-putting (particularly if you’re in a rush).  In fact, by adding space downstairs, eating space upstairs can be reduced making way for an expanded (and currently very poor and uncommitted) gifts area (my thoughts for this will be revealed in the next post!).  A final point is that consideration should be given to the tables (away with the school-like designs of upstairs) – I think communal tables and a small amount of 2-seaters in rustic or innovative materials would be good.

A downstairs dining area would create an unusual fast (vibey, American, west-coast) and slow (quality, personal, special) environment.

Proposed Dining Area

One of the three banks of food

Looking towards the hamper section - the area for proposed dining

]]> http://jdoc303.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/unexpected-pleasures/ Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:46:33 +0000 jdoc303 http://jdoc303.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/unexpected-pleasures/

Last night I had an unexpected pleasure. After a one hour plus therapeutic back massage I went to Waitrose. I was in a dreamy state after Elisa’s handiwork on my tiresome shoulder. There had been a lot of crunching and creeking on the old back but the massaging of my ear lobes and neck practically sent me unconscious with relaxation. I think I almost forget to breath sometimes during these sessions. I wandered about in Waitrose pondering which curry to buy, then which tea bags, then which wine and then whether to get blueberries or raspberries. The choice paralysed me once I got to the chilled desserts. I was shaken from my dwam by carol singing. Not just any carol singing like a bunch of school kids or some do-gooders in woolly hats – not even a loud CD – but really, really GOOD carol singing. It was so beautiful and pure and filled the whole shop. It made me feel quite emotional and I went to the end of the ailse to see what was going on. There was a group of people in tuxedos and black dresses looking immaculate and singing in the middle of Waitrose. It was quite bizarre and wonderful and I was taken aback by their appearance and ability.

On my way out of the shop I looked at the sign on the floor next to them and their bucket of donations. The bucket had an awful lot of notes in it rather than loose change and the sign read “Edinburgh University Chamber Choir” – which explained a lot. Now you don’t get that in Lidl…

The Journey of the Magi by Sassetta. The next blog will not be about religion…

Some time ago now I wrote about the excellent “Menu del dia” that we came across in Ibiza and I suppose common across Spain. We would go out any lunch time and a two course meal plus a glass of wine or bear all for anything from €7.70 up to €25.00 … all excellent value for money in each case. So why on earth pay for two meals when you can shop around and get two for the price of one we thought and off we went searching very successfully for these deals that we had not encountered in the UK.

In England, if you mention Chinese food, people think of sweet and sour chicken, or sweet and sour pork. To a lesser extent, stir-fried beansprouts, broccoli and carrots (the famous Marks and Spencer Chinese food series).

In Hong Kong, I don’t think sweet and sour food enjoys the same status as it does in England. I am certainly not a fan. Sweet and sour doesn’t sound right. It is too much confusion, too cliche, too readymade.

Personal preferences aside, I believe that rice or noodle dishes with chau siu (juicy barbecued pork) is the most embraced Chinese food in Hong Kong. It is so cheap as well. On average, you can have barbecued pork with rice for under three quid. There is a famous local eatery on 265 Hennessy Road, Wanchai called ’Zhoi Hing’  which offers the best barbecued pork with rice in town. I used to work in that area, and every time I passed by the eatery, there’s always a long queue in front. However with only four or five tables in the eatery, the best thing is to go there during non-peak hours, or to order takeaways.

For me, checking out the Chinese food series in England’s supermarkets is a highly fascinating experience. The package designs and presentations betray many underlying western ideologies.  The oriental clouds that decorate the readymeal lunchboxes are quaint and amusing. I marvel at these elegantly designed lunchboxes in London, and consider how our cuisine is defined and appreciated: roast duck in plum sauce, spring rolls, prawn toasts, chicken in black bean sauce (it always takes me two seconds to recall what ‘black bean sauce’ is, as we call it ‘dou si’ in Hong Kong), Shanghai stir-fry noodles…Every now and then, I am tempted to try it out to see how authentic it is. But of course authenticity is a relative concept. To me, a born Hong Konger, the presentation and names for these dishes can be alien-looking. But to be honest, they are very delicious. In general, I prefer the Chinese takeaway package design at Waitrose to that of Marks and Spencer. It’s hard to explain why, but I think Waitrose’s package designs are slightly more ‘authentic’. Perhaps because of the bright red and white colours.

Sometimes I wish there are more such Chinese-style readymeals in Hong Kong, though I suppose we lack the market for it.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2830/sweet-and-sour-chicken

I am sorry, this is (hopefully) quite out of character, but I am going to take full advantage of my blog  for a little rant into cyber space…and hopefully to a few other mummies!

I completely got out of the wrong side of bed today, in a right huff as I went to wash the sleep from my eyes.  I’m not sure why really.  But as a result I’ve felt a tad grumpy, so here I am getting a few things off my chest.

1. I was covered in poo far too soon after the bear and I got up this morning.

2. I am hungry, freezing and tired but still at my computer.

3. There are some lovely Waitrose chicken thighs in the fridge threatening to give me food poisoning tomorrow because I didn’t have time to cook them…I am eating left over cauliflower cheese.

4. Husband and the bear are in bed – poorly again.  Our home seems to be infested with illnesses to which ony I am immune at the moment.

5. I have washed, dried and put away (I don’t iron) four loads of washing today, and there is still more to do.

6. I remembered to do the car tax but forgot the paper bill, the groceries, a birthday card and numerous other to do’s.

7. I wanted to finish my Christmas shopping in October and be super smug.  I vowed to finish it in November and be quietly chuffed.  Now all of a sudden it’s December….and I don’t have an advent calendar either.

So, fellow mum’s, if you want to get a few of the days niggles off your chest, please do comment!  I am definitely a glass half full person usually, and feel a weight has lifted after this little online offload….thank you!

Definitely half full

Stuff. You like stuff, right? You like living in a castle made of empty I-Phone boxes while the environment melts into a flood of baby panda’s tears trickling into a river topographically spelling out “help me” on GoogleEarth? You like stuff, yeah? You love stuff? You like your brands too, yeah? You like your Nikes so much you got knee replacements with a swoosh on them. Your internal monologue is introduced by a bland floppy-haired ident twat springing up to sell you a Three disillusionment tariff through the power of creative bankruptcy? You love stuff, that’s why Christmas exists. You love stuff, almost as much as you love the idea of Chinese children crawling through a flaming alphabet of hypodermic needles to pick out the letters DKNY to sew on your bum flannel. Buy buy buy! You love your ‘stuff’. But is it making you happy? You work seven million hours a second just so you can drive around in a tank and shop at Waitrose. You’re kidding yourself. And secretly you know it’s your fault that everything has gone to shit. Admit it. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Wish you were dead yet? Go on, pop off to Harrods and buy yourself a Vivien Westwood noose.

 If it’s any consolation, and you’re still reading, I’m the same. We all are. Buying new stuff makes me feel all tingly inside. For about 5 seconds. Then when that wears off I go out and buy more stuff until, like a rat in a cage with a ‘buy’ switch to the brain, the urge is sated. CDs are my heroin and my 1 bedroom flat is buckling under the weight of my addiction.

 But even before the economy went all apocalyptic, wasn’t it starting to seem a bit hollow and pointless? Tiring, even? Ever resent the endless stream of crap that appears over night that’s not really much different to the endless stream of crap that was there yesterday but that you have to buy to replace the last lot of crap in case that load of crap goes wrong or starts to look out of fashion or gets the bad Aids ? I’m knackered just thinking about it. Life has become like an endless supermarket sweep with a demented, naked Dale Winton bearing down on you with a chainsaw. What’s really tiring is keeping up-to-date with wanting stuff you didn’t know existed. Until recently, I hadn’t had a new phone for 8 years. I was quite happy playing Snake and sporting an embarrassingly big bulge in my pocket. Then I got a new phone with GPS and a fat Elvis wobble-head, and suddenly I’m psychotic with fantasies of phone promiscuity. I want another new phone and I want it now. I want apps. I want an app with bits of skin flying off a baby’s face to accurately represent up-to-the minute stats on infant mortality rates. I want a 3-D giraffe that makes inappropriate sexual innuendo in the presence of old women. I want virtual stuff that does nothing other than create the desire for more stuff I didn’t know I wanted.

Basically, I’m mad with consumerist power. But I have no money. That’s what credit’s for. So yeah, something’s not right. The fact that there’s something not right is the subject of recent book, All Consuming, by Neal Lawson. Lawson argues that we’re all willing victims of an industrial-consumerist complex that gives the illusion of choice, freedom and the ultimate transcendental shopping experience. We’re all rats in a big shopping cage desperate for our next purchasing hit. Lawson argues we’re working longer hours, getting more stressed and are increasingly unhappy as we try to ‘fit in’, in a society where fitting in increasingly means buying more stuff. It’s a seemingly inescapable vicious circle, with notions of happiness and free-time being sold back to us by companies aware that, in a turbo-consumerist society, these are the one thing that money can’t buy. The environment suffers, social relations suffer. A new selfishness seems to be at large compounded by the ‘me-first’ individualism on which consumerism depends. According to a Douglas Coupland Holzerism, shopping is not creating. Shopping is creating, it seems: creating and compounding a whole heap of new social problems. Collectivism, altruism and community are eroded as we concentrate on fashioning our own individual identities by buying stuff. Lawson argues this shopping daze focuses us inward, increasing voter apathy and reducing civic participation. Big companies can have their wicked way with us because we’re too entranced by all the pretty shiny things to pay attention, collectively mobilize and fight the consumerization of every aspect of our lives.

 I agree with pretty much all of this. It’s hard not to. Thing is, I kind of agreed with it before I read the book and I’m not sure whether it has the persuasive power to change anybody’s mind. In fact, in places I found myself mildly irritated by Lawson’s nagging tone: he occasionally comes across like a grumpy old man, angry, resentful and confused by a rapidly changing world. It really doesn’t help his argument. Neither is he helped by a tendency towards broad pronouncements backed up with relatively few facts and citations. The book feels rushed. It would have been more persuasive had Lawson taken the time to ground his arguments in the context of wider sociological and political debates. There are a few references to how Lawson has been inspired by the sociologist Zygmunt Bauman, but no proper discussion of his work. Strange too that despite citing rapidly increasing shifts towards privatisation as key causes of individualism and a diminished sense of collective responsibility, Lawson avoids analysing the Labour government’s role in reproducing such Thatcherite themes.

 To be fair, reading the book did make me reflect on why I bought the book and why it’s sitting on my shelf next to copies of No Logo by Naomi Klein and Affluenza by Oliver James. Strangely, the opportunity for self-reflection (i.e. on the consumer product he’s produced and the kind of ‘consumer identity’ it plays into) isn’t taken up by Lawson. Still, the book’s publication is a good reminder of what you already know deep down. But buy it? I’d take Lawson’s advice and put the basket down.

 http://www.allconsuming.org.uk/about-neal-lawson/

 www.freecycle.org

 www.soilassociation.org

 www.labourbehindthelabel.org

 www.downsizer.net

A cool little shot I took with the new tiltshift app for iphone

It wasn't easy squeezing a fog horn into the wine bottle

The Whale Caller. Shiraz – Cabernet Sauvignon 2009. South Africa. Waitrose. £3.89

This week (okay, month) I have mostly been tasting the grapey delights of a little wine charmingly called, The Whale Caller.

“As you savour this rich red wine, with dark berry fruit and hints of chocolate and spice, you may just catch the strains of the Whale Caller’s horn, blowing on the southern wind”.

Brilliant.

Other than the obvious thrill of hearing a fog horn every time you have a sip, The Whale Caller has one pretty impressive quality. At a modest £3.89 it’s quite simply cheap as chips. Now, I like my vino just as much as the next lush, don’t get me wrong. But I have to think of the pennies. Like everyone else, I have rent to pay, shoes to buy and cats to feed, so when I come across a little cracker like this, I get pretty excited and am prone to panic buying.

And it seems I am not alone. For some mind-wrenchingly annoying reason, The Whale sells out nearly every other day, so it’s a bit of a wine lottery really. You must stay wily, for Waitrose folk are intelligent (Evidence: They read the Guardian) and they like their wine, make no mistake.

If you are lucky enough to spot a crate load of the stuff, for god’s sake grab the lot. You won’t regret it.

The nonsense on the back says it is “great on its own or with pizza, pasta or red meat dishes” but I drink it with pretty much anything.

I bathe in it too.

Posted By: Robyn

For years, politicians and commentators have been ringing the bell for the end of class.  A decade ago, Tony Blair announced that we were all middle-class now, though I had already suspected something was afoot when my Nanna upgraded from Spam to wafer-thin ham. 

Since then, the consensus has been that the old delineations of upper, middle and lower are dead.  This, though, is far from the case.  In the last few weeks, I have become aware of a class that is as likely to shop in Waitrose as it is Farmfoods.  It likes Jedward but it listens to Verdi too.  It has a place in Provence, but also a fortnight’s all-inclusive in Benidorm.  And I am part of it.

We are the Daytime Class.  We are mothers with prams who are thinking of white wine and wondering if they’ll ever go to the cinema again.  We are pocked-up heroine wallahs in every shade of sallow.  We are doughty pensioners chatting in the rain.  We are unemployed twenty-seven year-old men who put on their wives’ shoes to watch Loose Women. 

While you’re all at work or serving your sentences, we come out.  Droves of us.  You should see the streets, teeming, brimming with people who serve about as much purpose as this board I took a picture of in Cowdenbeath:

Nothing to see here. No, seriously, there's nothing to see here

We have strength in pointless, café-dwelling unity.  We know what time the post is delivered, and that Fat Sandra is having a lesbian affair ‘just because she got bored’.  We are the people that go into Poundland and use libraries.  We have favourite coffee beans and drug dealers. 

It’s high time we mobilised as a political force.  Led by somebody suitably pointless like Sue Perkins, The Daytime Class Party would advocate a complete ban of the question ‘what time did you get up today?’  The class war is on, but only once Doctors has finished.

As a long term business resident of Clerkenwell, (we first came here in 1989 when it was little more than a ghost town), I have watched the area develop beyond all recognition over the last few years.

As new businesses and private home owners moved into the area, it became apparent that more retail serviceswould be needed and only a few years ago, Tesco opened one of their metro stores across the road from our office. Ever since, it has become a hub of activitycleverly stocking products that target the indigenous population. I am sure the branch has done very well.

Last Thursday, Waitrose opened a spanking new store literally next door to Tesco. Boasting double the floor space of its neighbour, this Waitrose store has been beautifully fitted and the produce, layout, lighting – in fact everything, has made the Tesco offering look very passé.

With only a few days trading actually having taken place, it’s too early to say who will prevail, but watching these rival behemoths slug it out reminds me of two market traders side by side at their stalls selling the same produce. While Waitrose appear to have tried to claim the food higher ground by selling quality produce, they are both now competing for certain items on price and are not being particularly subtle about it. Special deals and promotions, a range of loss leaders, buy one get one free in fact all the usual supermarket techniques are being employed to try and grab market share.

As an interested onlooker, I am not convinced there is enough business in the area for both to be profitable and I suspect that Waitrose, with its more sophisticated and trendy offering will be the winner. However, I don’t expect Tesco to go without a fight and watching these big boys slug is out is very enthralling. Part of me feels that they could surprise us both by between them, increasing the size of the market by attracting more people from further away, (at the moment it really is the local offices and homes who are the patrons). What is absolutely clear is that the range of food choice has never been better.

 Anyway I am just off to get my breakfast from Waitrose/Tesco. Watch this space.

HG

Finally, the day that many of us have been harping on about! Camilla Kerslake already has a big following online, so now we’ll see how sales of her album go on. I had pre-ordered one months ago, but then Camilla promised to send me a signed copy, so I’m awaiting that – hope it’s not too long, as I’d love to listen to the whole album!

Disc: 1

1. She Moved Through The Fair
2. How Can I Keep From Singing
3. I Can’t Help Falling In Love
4. Rule The World (Il Mondo e Nostro)
5. Rain
6. Balulalow
7. Pie Jesu
8. Panis Angelicus
9. Closest Thing To Crazy
10. Cavatina
11. In Paradisum
12. Largo
13. Weblink

Disc 2

1. Silent Night
2. In The Bleak Midwinter
3. The First Noel
4. Abide With Me
5. White Christmas