Tags » Wankery

Portmanteauing the line.

If a guy¬†at the dock had a foot, does that imply he’d have a portmantoe?

If that same guy drove a truck with a tow bar and towed boats from the right hand side, I guess you could deduce that he portmantows. 406 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

To be honest, it smelled a bit nutty.

Sitting in the waiting room to discover what I actually did to my finger a few months back (answer: Who knows? It’s not bone damage, maybe it’s just swelling that could come down over time. 894 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

I didn't begin this entry craving burritos. How do I get burritos without leaving the bed?

It’s weird being at a gig where you just can’t connect. The music’s blaring, beats are flowing and bodies all around you are gyrating energetically to the performance. 605 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

If my parents were giant robot technicians, my dad would officially be cooler than yours.

I’ve been trying to call my parents for the last few days. Once it gets to about midnight or 1am I load up Skype and give ‘em a ring. 783 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

Gimme 24 hours. I'll turn this bitch around.

For the sake of full disclosure, my brain isn’t really working right now. Blame sleep deprivation or any number of other things. Actually, that’s what I’ll do. 844 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

Jacking in, not jacking off.

This morning I woke up at Lorde knows what time to take a leak. Upon leaving the bathroom I noticed the sound of my screen door squeaking shut, as it does after someone’s opened it. 698 more words

Stream Of Consciousness