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valoandesk — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:32:21 +0000

The VA Loan Desk blog was designed to bring Veterans together to exchange stories about their experiences in the Military. VA Loan Desk is a website where veterans can get information on VA streamline loans as well as home purchase loans available through veterans affairs.

A Close Shave

memofor — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:13:22 +0000

My hair was shaggier than ever and I needed a haircut. I was teetering on the edge of flagrantly violating the Army’s regulations regarding personal appearance. Thing is, my hair is my personality — my joie de vivre. But rules are rules and I needed to eighty-six the mop-top.

You have two options on this FOB if you desire a refreshing chop:

You can jump into a Mule (the Humvee of golf-carts) and brave the muddy, potholed avenues that take you to The Other Side. Relatively recently that required crossing a major road open to local traffic. This is Afghanistan, so crossing a local road means braving sniper fire and avoiding the pregnant woman packing an ammonium nitrate fetus. Fortunately, the road has since been closed. But there are still potholes. And mud.

Your other option is the guy over there (I’m pointing) who runs General’s Convenience Store. He moonlights as a barber and next to his trinket bazaar he offers an extravagantly appointed — yet curiously unheated — salon. He’s a stone’s throw from work and there are no potholes, snipers, or exploding fetuses. Remember when I mentioned Angelina Jolie haircuts? Same guy.

I plan on celebrating the birth of Our Lord and Savior with a sculpted Tom Selleck. It’s growing in as well (poorly?) as I expected but now I need the appropriate ‘do to accessorize my little brown caterpillar. Quaffs are out, so are pompadours. The ski-jump is too ’90s and I don’t trust bald men. It hit me like a punch in the dick: flat-top! Tom and I would be the belle of the ball with the State Highway Patrol riding shotgun.

I found the best example I could, printed it off, and headed over to see if the Haji (derogatory term for all mocha-skinned man-dress wearers) barber could pull it off.

“Yesh sah! Five minutes sah!” Haji said as he flashed ten fingers at me. Floor to ceiling glass covered the walls, bouncing the cheap neon light around the room. Six barber’s chairs were draped with leopard-print aprons and Soviet-occupation era issues of Cosmo and Redbook had been stacked against the wall. A small sticker on the glass identified my barber as “Hercules.” Apparently Haji thought making the place look as gay as possible would put our tender American sensibilities at ease.

“Please sah,” Hercules beckoned me to the nearest chair. It was so cold I could see my fucking breath. I handed him the headshot I had printed and asked if he was up for the job. He didn’t seem to understand so I held the photo next to my face and pointed back and forth. “Flat top, see? F-l-a-t-t-o-p. Capiche?” His eyes lit up, apparently having made the connection. It wasn’t until he had carefully wrapped my neck and body in leopard print that I noticed the absence of salon-style stuff. The products lining the shelf in front of me — which I had assumed, at a glance, were hair-related — turned out to be entirely un-hair-related: two bottles of compressed air, a jar of mink oil, a can of Armor-All wipes, some hand sanitizer, and a small white plastic box, decorated brightly, that proclaimed “Let’s clean the Cosmos!”

–

Hercules fluttered about, conjuring from various corners and drawers the different elements of my haircut. After a few minutes he had assembled a more-or-less suitable melange of artifacts that wouldn’t be out of place in a barbershop museum. He was missing his electric clippers and excused himself — but not before turning off the lights and leaving me in darkness. After a few minutes I grew impatient. I called out “Hercules” a few times into the dark salon. Was he about to clean the Cosmos, and his shop, of another infidel? I glanced around for any out-of-place artillery shells and strained my ears for a ticking clock. Was my leopard-print apron a suicide vest? “HERCULES!”

–

“Sorry sah!” The lights flashed on, buzzing in protest, and Hercules shuffled inside. “Need electrics sah, understand?” Was he wearing a different man-dress?

–

He took my head with both hands and began giving me a Mujaheddin scalp massage. A few firm swats of his palm completed the foreplay and he turned on the clipper. It sounded obviously broken, barking like a two-stroke . Hercules drove the buzzsaw into my head like he was scooping out a double Rocky Road. Within a minute he had carved my beautiful crown into a chili-bowl. I looked like a 14th century squire. “Flat-top, Hercules, flat-top!” I pleaded.

–

After a few more jagged swaths it became clear that I was looking less like Kirk Douglas in Spartacus and more like my friend Chris Yates. I told Hercules that I was satisfied with the overall length and it was time for him to wrap it up. He appeared to acknowledge, put the clippers down, and reached for a glass filled with spoiled milk. That didn’t bother me as much as the straight razor he produced. Such a tool is fine and good, provided A) the bearer is skilled, B) there is heat, ambient or manufactured, available and C) the blade has been changed since 9/11.

–

Hercules peered in at my sideburns and the back of my neck, muttering (praying?) under his breath. He then pulled one ear out and then the other. Was he measuring my cute little ears to see if they would fit on his severed-ear battle necklace? Was he going to cut my throat and mail my head to my wife? Could that little razor cut my whole head off? Or would it dangle grotesquely?

–

My M16 was wedged between my legs and I wondered if I’d have enough time to get a few rounds off before I bled out. Can’t say I’ve ever experienced a hair-cut where there was a reasonable chance one or both parties involved might be killed in action.

–

Ol’ Hercules wasn’t so good with the clippers, but fuck me sideways if he wasn’t a dab hand with a blade. He chirped and chuckled his way around my ears, slicing and dicing the tiny hairs into a perfect sculpture. (Every other minute he would dip two digits into the spoiled milk and wipe them off on my head. There was no discernible reason for the application.) Not satisfied with my overall look, he then used the razor on the rest of my hair, shaving off imperceptible lengths, until, finally, he dropped the razor with a flourish, dusted off my head with a dustpan broom, and slapped my cheeks. Hercules was done.

–

And I looked like a bust of Julius Caesar. With a moustache.

Where I will gain my knowledge...

worldhero — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:40:21 +0000

At first, when I was working on this bibliography, I thought that I would only focus on one problem in the world: Gaza and the Middle East. But then I got to thinking, which is never a good idea because when I think I make things more complex for myself. So that’s what happened with this blog project. Not only do I want to focus on troubles going on in the Middle East, I want to focus on the whole world. I want a broader view. And I want to somehow include Mr. President Barack H. Obama into this project as well, so I will when it seems fitting. At first, the focus on Gaza and the Middle East will be prevalent, since I did most of my initial research on the subject. But eventually I will branch out onto more global matters. So, for now, here is the list of sites I will be using:

1.) Milblogging.com. This site seems to be a popular one, as you can find almost any kind of soldier blog here. It will come in handy when I’m looking for first-hand accounts of war and the nature of living in that kind of situation.

2.) allAfrica.com. This site is nifty because it shows news from all of Africa, hence the name. It pans the continent searching for news articles about conflict and that’s exactly what I will need as a contributor for my global perspective studies for this blog.

3.) Gaza Strip News – New York Times. Because, at first, my main focus will be on Gaza, this site helps. It keeps me up to date on current happenings there, as there are many recent updates. I trust New York Times because it just so happens to be one of the best news collectors out there.

4.) Raising Yousuf and Noor; diary of a Palestinian mother. This blog, from a Palestinian mother and journalist, gives me great insight into the Middle Eastern conflicts coming from a Palestinian perspective. She writes so poetically that I think it will deem fitting for this class.

5.) Al Jazeera. This source will prove to be a good one because, like allAfrica.com, it scopes most of the Middle East, including Gaza itself, and presents the reader with a compiled list of articles relating to the Middle Eastern conflicts.

And now for my Obama sources:

1.) Obama HQ. This site is nice beceause it has the inaugural speech as well as other speeeches from President Obama. It will be a nice reference when I want to look at language and comparing/contrasting the authors we will be studying to Obama.

2.) msnbc.com: Barack Obama News. This is just a straightforward Obama news feed that lets me know what the latest news is. It comes in handy because I will need to know what Obama is doing around the world in response to war and conflict, and msnbc.com will keep me up to date with that.

3.) Obama’s global to-do list – csmonitor.com. I like this site because it goes around the world and keeps an eye on conflicts and what Obama is planning on doing or what he is doing about them.

Again, this is my list for now. It is bound to change as the semester rolls on and I focus on different areas of the world. Thanks for reading! Do widzenia!

An End to War?

NaRocRoc — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 14:45:38 +0000

Victory March

Word is reaching us across the wires of a victory in the short-lived war between MaxiLand and the State of Cackaloo. The Cackaloons have been victorious it seems. No images reach us yet. And we’re not sure if it is merely propaganda. We hear there is much rejoicing in K8opia. Celebratory sambuca is flowing freely.

Will Maximus Caneus fall on his own sword? Or will he be humiliated in public and hung by the goolies from a tree? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Updates will follow when available.

War, huh, what is it good for?

NaRocRoc — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:33:51 +0000

War has been declared by the State of Kackaloo (aided by General Beardy Von Smoke) on the benign dictator Maximus Caneus (aided by his Ministry of Intelligence, Corporal Crabling). This folks is serious. Literally, the bomb. Who has the heavier artillery is not yet known. Both sides are frantically recruiting with a variety of tricks on display. Intelligence reaches us of a strippers grotto with vast resources of Jagermeister. Smoke and mirrors everywhere. It is believed Obama is seriously considering his future in the wake of these developments. His foreign policy manifesto could not have predicted this new world disorder.

On behalf of the citizens of the Liberated Secular Republic of NaRocco I have declared neutrality. An unashamedly flexible, DeValera-esque, neutrality. MiniRoc have informed all warring factions that bribes and such like will allow for a variety of wartime favours for either side. We will, for example, gladly accept rendition flights and the like. Payments, as ever, are negotiable. However, at NaRocRoc Island we shall set up anti-weapon of tampon destruction devices on our shores and we shall house prisoners of Maxi war in accordance with Guantanamo ideals. We shall not go down with the rest of you bastards!

Why the stone wall?

dragonrouge — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:06:45 +0000

This is crazy. I’m living in a country that hasn’t fought a war for over a hundred years. So they say. Truth is that there are Swedish soldiers all over the world. Africa, Iraq and Afghanistan. Places like that.

American soldiers get killed due to negligence. Suicide here and an accident here. If this happened in a hospital or a normal workplace, somebody would be held accountable.

Other blogs about war, irag, iran, afghanistan, soldier, US army, stonewalling

Truly thinking I might move again

dragonrouge — Sun, 04 May 2008 23:03:49 +0000

Possibly I’m moving, Again. I really blog better on an own domain. Still thinking. Still, I can get a domain for $15 from WordPress. Worth thinking about.

Just for the hell off it

dragonrouge — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:47:48 +0000

Sometimes, or maybe most times, I write just for the hell off writing. It’s a great skill we’ve developed. Unique among species on earth.

I love reading and writing and I want to do it every day. Some days there isn’t much to write about. Today I sifted through some drafts I’ve saved on one of my Swedish blogs and came across a piece from Wired. It’s about a videoblogging war correspondent named Kevin Sites. Go read.

Other bloggers on Wired, Kevin Sites, war blog, Hot Zone

Noch ein paar Worte an die Kriegsblogger...

tom — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:42:35 +0000

Ich meine diejenigen, die ihr Weblog mit Bombern und Panzern schmücken und noch stolz darauf sind. Immer noch feiert ihr die US-Invasion im Irak als Erfolg und immer noch wollt ihr trotz der Geheimdienstberichte eine militärische Offensive im Iran. Ich glaube ihr könnt nicht einmal ansatzweise ermessen, welches Leid und Elend der Krieg über die Menschen bringt.. Seht euch diese Bilder an. (Achtung! Nichts für sanfte Gemüter!). Müsstet ihr dieses Leid am eigenen Leib erfahren, würde euer Kriegsgeheul schnell zu einem jämmerlichen Abgesang, um schlußendlich zu verstummen. Wenn ihr es immer noch nicht eingesehen habt, nehme ich die berühmt, berüchtigten gelben Notizzettel und tackere sie euch an euer Brett vorm Kopf!

Ich höre gerade: Peace and Love von Culture

In diesem Sinne, friedliche Grüße

tom