Foto: Michael Frank

Un articolo di Matteo Bordone

La giornata di un Homo sapiens è scandita dall’utilizzo di apparecchi e meccanismi che, nel corso dei secoli, hanno reso i suoi gesti sempre più agili ed efficienti. Dallo spazzolino fino allo spegnimento dell’abat-jour, seguiamo il corso della tecnologia, adattandoci all’evoluzione dei tempi e delle cose. Ma c’è un momento in cui tutto questo non succede, e siamo stancamente identici ai nostri trisavoli: è la seduta evacuatoria, la tappa fisiologica, quello che intende mio fratello quando, dopo pranzo, prende il giornale e dichiara (con un’espressione in codice chiara solo ai suoi familiari): «Vado un attimo a Parigi».

L’alternativa alla tazza di porcellana, alla carta igienica, al bidet italiano e al niente di niente internazionale – ah, Belpaese, terra di candori intimi e sconcezze collettive! –, viene da quel meraviglioso arcipelago che sta in fondo alla cartina: il Giappone. Qui, ormai da decenni, in quasi tutti i bagni domestici c’è un washlet.

Potremmo dire che il washlet è un water con bidet incorporato, ma sarebbe come dire che lo Shuttle è un aereo che decolla in su. Non essendo per niente convinti che il corpo faccia schifo, che l’anima ne sia la padrona sdegnosa, che la carne vada mortificata per aspirare a delizie ulteriori, i giapponesi hanno dato l’importanza che merita a questo momento così centrale nella giornata di tutti. Ché in effetti senza un bell’iPhone si può anche stare, ma senza un bel cesso no.

Il modello che ho provato per voi in una trasferta scabrosa è uno dei più sofisticati vasi sanitari (nome tecnico dei water) disponibili: il nuovissimo Neorest della Toto, leader giapponese nel mercato dei sanitari. Stefano Giovannoni, il designer milanese dell’oggetto, mi ha permesso di provarlo nel suo studio (che sembra un sommergibile). Prima di sedersi si afferra il telecomando, con il quale si aziona il sollevamento del coperchio.

(Nota di Pao: Chissà ad essere vittime di un attacco di diarrea ed il telecomando ha le pile scariche…. )

Appena seduti, ci si rende già conto che c’è qualcosa di diverso: la tavoletta è piacevolmente riscaldata. A cose fatte, due pulsanti attivano un prillo d’acqua (intensità e temperatura regolabili) che centra con precisione misteriosa le anatomie di ciascuno, lavando dolcemente e blandendo sia il dietro che – essere una donna! Essere una donna per cinque minuti! – il davanti.

Dopo di che tocca a un getto d’aria (più o meno calda, più o meno intensa) il lavoro di asciugatura. La profumazione dell’ambiente è altrettanto automatica e gradita. Si starebbe seduti delle ore, più di quanto molti di noi non facciano già sui vasi sanitari tradizionali; si leggerebbe tutto Guerra e pace, si trascorrerebbero intere settimane enigmistiche; ci si vivrebbe volentieri, seduti sul washlet, anche solo a guardare il soffitto in un’estasi di coccole autoinflitte.

Ve lo assicuro: nessun elettrodomestico potrà mai darvi così tanta soddisfazione. Garantito. Altro che plasma. Altro che…

Toto Neorest 600

Prezzo: 2600 € (in Italia arriva a gennaio 2010)

Sito: www.eu.toto.com

Che cos’è? Un washlet, un wc con bidet incluso. Ha telecomando, sedile riscaldabile, tavola che si apre automaticamente e getto regolabile.

So as I wrote previously, Four Seasons Hotel in Tokyo had to place a little message card on the bathroom vanity, “Don’t Be Afraid of Our Toilet” to explain to the hotel guests about the sophisticated toilet system.

Lately I’ve spotted the TOTO Washlet or similar product in American homes as well, though it still seems to be a rather exclusive amenity unlike its popularity in Japan.  Besides, I have yet to acquire one myself for my home in Los Angeles.

Then on my last trip to Japan, I noticed something else in public bathrooms:  yet another TOTO bathroom “gadget” or perhaps I should call, an “amenity.”  It’s the “Otohime （音姫）,”.the literal translation of which would be, “sound princess.”   I had seen it probably more than a decade ago in bathrooms of some private offices and such.  It is a simple device to create camouflaging noise to cover any natural “sound” that comes with your personal activity in the stall.   The premise, I guess, is that people would flush the toilet unnecessarily to cover the  “sound;”   therefore waste the precious water.  (Either that or rattling the toilet paper roll.) Of course, leave it to Japanese.  They’ll have a solution!

Push the button on Otohime, and it would make some sound as if you’re actually flushing the toilet.  I always thought it was brilliant, but I had not seen it around like the Washlets.  Then on my last visit, I noticed in public places such as department stores and restaurants that their bathrooms were equipped with Otohime.    May be I was just missing it, but I didn’t know it was getting to be a normal fixture in the bathrooms.

I’m sure it’s a lot simpler to install than the Washlet, and I’m sure I can probably get one to use in my own bathroom before I can get the much-coveted Washlet.  Perhaps I can start creating my own private Japan in my bathrooms at home!

Imagine a warm throne in the morning. Gentle water splashing your ass. And cool air drying it to perfection. Yes friends, the porcelain god is back and better than ever before thanks to Washlet. Check out the Washlet website, it’s the shit. The videos and music are very cool.

Check out the Washlet website to learn more about this high-tech porcelain god!

One of the most important lessons my older brother taught me….check that, THE most important lesson he ever taught me was this, whenever traveling, always, and I mean always, make sure to have dry toilet paper with you. He suggested keeping a roll sealed in a plastic zip lock bag in whatever daypack was always going to be with you. Food eaten on travels doesn’t always sit well. Then again, food eaten at home doesn’t always sit well either. Dry toilet paper is sometimes more valuable than gold, baby!

I have always been a big fan of using a nice soft double-ply tissue. There’s nothing worse than having a sore tushy. I’m also somewhat of an environmentalist. I never once even thought about toilet paper being an environmental problem. I always thought the food I ate was more of a problem by sending me to the toilet multiple times a day until he sent me this article, “Forests Pay the Price for America’s Love Affair with Really Soft Toilet Paper”.

People, now more than ever you must be aware of what you’re putting into your digestive tracts. Trips to the toilet are inevitable, but try to eat healthy to minimize the number of trips to the toilet. Also, discontinue use of luxurious double-ply tissue; instead use single-ply and preferably some with recycled fibers.

The best way to combat this problem, however, has been underway in Europe and Japan for centuries…….the bidet! Throughout the rest of the world more people clean their rectum with a splash of water instead of a wipe of the cloth. During my visits to Japan I always enjoy utilizing their Washlets (wash + toilet). They have a bidet built right in. As soon as your done doing what it is you’re there doing all you have to do is push this little button and out comes a stream of warm water squirting right where you need it. Not only does this feel good (It really does feel awesome!) and get you much cleaner, but apparently it’s also more environmentally sound. This is especially true if the building has a greywater system where waste water is filtered and put into the lawn outside.

I do also agree with the article that it should be mandatory for all toilet paper to consist of a minimum of 20% recycled fibers.

It’s bad enough that we’re killing all of these trees to make softer toilet paper, but when you also consider that while we’re using that toilet paper we’re also creating methane gas, the problem is compounded as there are then fewer trees to absorb that gas. It’s a cycle that we must end!

On Kenny’s first trip to Japan, I took him to meet a couple of good friends of mine. Upon arrival at their home, I pulled him into the powder room right in the foyer area (before my friends came out to greet us, mind you), pulled his pants down, sat him down on the toilet, and started pushing buttons. This was no ordinary toilet; it was the TOTO Washlet, equipped with a seat warmer and a high-tech mechanism to clean your behind after your business in the bathroom.

This was in 2000, and by then, Washlet and similar products were fairly well established in Japan; most of the modern homes and public establishments seemed to have it. But it was certainly a new thing for Kenny! The way it gives you control of the water temperature, the angle at which the water hits your behind, and even the dryer are all quite delightful, and I’m coveting one for my home in California. They have been sort of available through the local Japanese communities, but now TOTO has a beautiful showroom in West Hollywood with full services! http://www.washlet.com/

So, last year, I had an opportunity to go to Japan with a prominent sports agent on quite a lavish business trip. We were staying at the Four Seasons Hotel in Tokyo — not to mention being on the same floor as Bono, who was there for the African Conference. In my room I noticed a dainty little card on the bathroom vanity saying, “Don’t be afraid of our toilet.”

Le washlet: toilettes magiques multifonctions

Les toilettes japonaises méritaient bien un billet… Il vous faut connaître TOTO!

TOTO est une méga star au Japon: cette compagnie a inventé le “washlet” (ウォシュレット, prononcé Woshuretto), une quasi institution.

Grâce à TOTO, aller aux toilettes au Japon est une expérience rare et mémorable! Le washlet sait tout faire: jets d’eau variés, siège chauffant, séchage, ventilation anti-odeurs, chasse d’eau automatique… Autre astuce: un “faux” bruit de chasse d’eau qui peut être activé pour couvrir le bruit disgracieux abhorré des Japonaises (appelé joliment “le son de la princesse”!).

Attention, néophytes, quelques règles de base dans l’utilisation des washlets magiques:

- Ne pas appuyer sur tous les boutons en même temps, ni confondre les jets et la chasse d’eau (automatique dans la plupart des cas!), des mauvaises surprises vous guettent!

- Consommez les washlets avec modération! Des médecins japonais ont mis à jour ce qu’ils ont appelé le “Syndrome washlet”. Car le washlet, c’est addictif… Si ce syndrome vous intéresse, aller faire un tour sur ce blog.

Voilà pour les toilettes hi-tech…

Rassurez-vous, il existe aussi les toilettes japonaises plus traditionnelles, appelées washiki 和式, que l’on retrouve partout en Asie.

Washiki

Elles s’utilisent dans le sens inverse (la partie arrondie doit être devant vous). D’où des confusions lorsque les Japonais ont affaire à “nos” toilettes. Pour preuve, voir cette photo prise dans une station-service japonaise…

Panneau explicatif: comment utiliser des toilettes?

Pants Pankuro, un dessin-animé diffusé au Japon apprend aux petits Japonais à utiliser les toilettes. Dans cet épisode, découverte des washiki.

Si vous ne l’aviez pas déjà compris, les toilettes, au Japon, c’est sacré! On trouve des petits coins partout, dans chaque magasin, chaque station de métro… Il existe même une non-officielle “Journée nationale des toilettes” (le 10 novembre).

Mais cet intérêt pour les toilettes peut aussi tourner à l’angoisse: en cas de tremblement de terre, l’une des plus grosses peurs des Japonais n’est pas de manquer de nourriture mais d’être privé de toilettes! Les autorités se sont d’ailleurs penchées sur la question et sonnent l’alerte: 800.000 personnes n’auraient pas accès à des toilettes à Tokyo en cas de gros tremblement de terre! (Lire cet article sur le sujet).

Autre sujet d’inquiétude: être coincé dans un embouteillage avec une envie pressante… Pas de problème, les Japonais ont pensé à tout: la société Kaneko Sangyo a inventé des toilettes portables – vendus avec un rideau. OUF!

Oggi vorrei descrivervi un po’ come si stanno svolgendo le mie giornate qui ad Iida: cominciamo dalla casa.

La mia famiglia ospitante, a quanto ho capito, è abbastanza ricca: abito in una villa unifamiliare, grande, a due piani, e con il tetto in tegole giapponesi tradizionali.
Entrando, si accede all’ingresso, dove si devono togliere le scarpe, e subito dopo si apre il corridoio: alla destra, tre porte: una è lo sgabuzzino, una quella di camera dei miei genitori e quella di camera mia.
Ho una stanza tutta mia, con il computer ed internet wifi, da cui tra l’altro vi sto scrivendo ora, che affaccia da un lato sul corridoio e dall’altro sulla veranda coperta, dove c’è un tavolo sul quale in genere mangiamo. Procedendo lungo il corridoio, si arriva al salone, che è dominato dallo schermo al plasma da mezzo miliardo di pollici (completato da zona relax con poltrone e dolby surround) e dal tavolo del computer. Da un lato, affaccia sulla veranda coperta, dall’altro si accede alla cucina. La cucina è grande, con una penisola e due frigoriferi, e credenze con sistema anti-terremoto fatto in casa, legando le estremità delle maniglie degli armadietti tra di loro. C’è una grande vetrata che dà su uno splendido campo di riso che ora, carico di chicchi, sta per essere raccolto. Eh sì, sono contagiato dallo spirito campagnolo!
Comunque, al lato della cucina c’è un ripostiglio abbastanza grande, straripante di roba. Ma ritorniamo al corridoio: sulla sinistra, ci sono tre porte. La prima è un altro ripostiglio; la seconda è il bagno vero e proprio, con lavandino e vasca da bagno in stile giapponese (ofuro); la terza, davanti camera mia, è il WC (o, meglio, uoshuretto, pronuncia giapponese di washlet, cioè quelle diavolerie elettroniche che qui usa mettere sopra il volgare cesso) con lavandino spartano, che funziona dopo aver scaricato e la cui acqua va a ricaricare lo sciacquone successivo.

Nel piano di sopra… non ci vivo, dunque magari lo descriverò una prossima volta!

Provvederò comunque a postare foto!!

Ora sono distrutto… oyasuminasai!

What is Google doing to the world? Yahoo’s CEO Jerry Yang will tell you Google’s causing a “tech”tonic shift. When you see sites like this Yahoo Resignation Letter Generator, you know Yahoo is hurting. Screen cap:

Yahoo Resignation Letter Generator

And while Googlers can’t claim that their shit don’t stink, they can say that their butts don’t. Forget about the Google Bot, we’re talking Google Butt. Yes, Google employees’ butts are smiling because they’re getting some pretty hot toilet seats. Check out the the Washlette.

Google Toto Washlet Butts

Check out HateThePlayer’s Others Pimpass Blog Posts here.

I had to share this:

The Washlet is a toilet seat that does more or less everything for you: the seat lid automatically opens when you approach it and the seat is warmed to body temperature so you can immediately sit comfortably on it. Once you’re done doing your business, it rinses you with “clean water” —not exactly a revolutionary concept for Arabs/Muslims, I know— then dries you. Finally, once off the seat, the lid automatically closes and the toilet is flushed. Odors are changed to “good air”, you’ll “feel happy” and your bum couldn’t be more refreshed! XD

Watch how all this technology works by visiting their website.

PS: I’m aware that Japan has more advanced seats, but I felt that their presentation was more entertaining. ;P

MUDGE’s Musings

There’s most read, and then there’s favorite. This is a post which yr (justifiably) humble svt is, regrettably, but not regretfully, not at all humble about.

Blast from the Past!

A post we really, really loved to write, and read, and re-read…

From our very earliest days, originally posted July 4, 2007.

mm050: Sublime to…

So, I’m casually surfing (what else?), end up at one of my favorite sites, Lifehacker, and I find one of the most oddly interestingly pieces of on=line advertising I’ve ever encountered.

I don’t do advertising here, mainly because there aren’t enough of you visiting, and most of you are friends and family for whom I have absolutely no desire to monetize the experience, but, as the cliché expresses, the exception proves the rule. By the way, in case you are curious, I have absolutely no commercial arrangement with anyone connected with advertising in general, or this product specifically.

So, I clicked the intriguing looking ad, which shows a couple of nude female posteriors with smiley faces overlaid on them.

You’ve just got to check this out: http://www.cleanishappy.com

On a visit to Japan seven years ago, I encountered a most accomplished toilet in my son’s townhouse, and the wizards at Toto (who do good work — when we upgraded our two baths, we specified Toto toilets) have apparently decided that U.S. people have evolved sufficiently to be ready for a similarly accomplished commode, actually seat cover, as you now know if you did go ahead and click the link.

And this is amazing and very, very slick advertising, also. The cable infomercial will arrive I’m sure (if it hasn’t already — I haven’t encountered it), but this state of the art web advertising certainly grabbed this blogger right in the ___________ .

I’m certain that I can’t afford one, much less two, but my God, I wish I could!

Thanks for indulging me.

It’s it for now. Thanks,

–MUDGE

Quote of the Day:
True friends stay friends.
–Al

Joan es bastante creativo, Javi ni se diga, PapiBlogger se la come y Emmanuel no se queda atrás.

Sé que por el título ya muchos estarán curiosos por saber de qué se trata. En realidad, su nombre ya nos da idea de qué se trata. Resulta que una renombrada compañía japonesa TOTO (sí, así es que se llama. No se se rían) está ganando millones y millones de yenes a causa de este nuevo modelo (bueno, no tanto, es del 2005 creo) de Washlets.

Para los que no están muy relacionados con el término, un Washlet es un inodoro “inteligente”. A diferencia de utilizar papel higiénico para limpiarte, los washlets, con tan solo presionar un botón lanza un chorro de agua que deja tu retaguardia totalmente libre de impurezas. Aquí en TuTubo pueden ver una demostración en vivo. Les debo un post sobre mi primera experiencia con un washlet… ¡Eso es digno de reírse!

Volviendo al tema, aunque ya esto es noticia vieja para los nipones, para la mayoría de nosotros que estamos ubicados al otro lado del planeta, resulta de lo más curioso e incluso alocado.

El nombre del modelo lanzado es SATIS. Primero, tiene integrado un sensor que tan pronto siente presencia frente a ella levanta la tapa (como las puertas automáticas de las tiendas) y comienza a sonar una musiquita instrumental. Ya relajado mentalmente con Bethoven o Mozart, puedes proceder a sentarte en tu trono que te abre la boca literalmente y dedicarte a expulsar eso que llevas adentro de tus entrañas. Pero ¡esto no es todo!

SATIS incluye además de los 128 MB de almacenamiento interno, un lector de tarjetas de memoria SD (¡sí, como las de las cámaras digitales!) y así “personalizar” ese momento tan único y especial. Así tendras una larga lista de producciones musicales a tu alcance.

También, podrás controlar todas las funciones tradicionales (intensidad y temperatura del chorro de agua, descargue de desperdicios, etc) y los nuevos aditamentos como control de volúmen y los demás botones defaults de cualquier reproductor musical ( stop/play/pause…etc).

Por último les cuento que el modelito está valorado en unos 25.000 Yenes (unos, 2500 dólares) y como les dije, se está vendiendo como pan caliente. ¡Vaya gustos la de los nipones!

Aquí par de fotitos.

Miren a la nena con su carita de sorpresa al ver que la tapa se levanta. Al lado, el tablero de control.

Tablero de Control. Fíjense de las bocinitas a los costados, y lo retráctil que es para poder insertar la tarjeta SD.

Para los más curisosos, la misma compañía ofrece una demostración del funcionamiento de dicho “novedoso aparato”. Click para ver el video. Pesa unos 4.2 MB y está en formato .MPG

Solo me resta decir…¡Qué creativos!

Update: Disculpen el problema con las fotos. Espero que ya con esto quede solucionado. Gracias por la notificación chicos.

This is really funny! I have no idea what they are saying but man penguins make any thing better.

How often has the technology of today been the savior of tomorrow?

I’m sure Alexander Parkes could never have imagined the uses for his sticky polymer when he created the first man-made plastic.

Everyday people are working on devices meant to alleviate  some of the strain of life.  A current trend in Japan are homemade, non-commercial devices called Chindogu. They’re nearly useless but light-hearted and a kick to see. Other inventions are amazingly helpful and are awe-inspiring to watch in action

And then…… there’s the washlet…

A visit to www.cleanishappy.com  is all you need to realize we let too many people fleece the rest of us into buying these Chindogu; these things that absolutely noone needs. My only grudge with technology is that it’s almost become a way for an individual to  get rich without any effort. I know we all like to joke but who seriously needs a $1300 toilet to wipe thier butt??

As bad as things may be sometimes, I never lose hope when I see things like this.

We really can change the world if we keep up the good work.