They’re gross. How hard can it be to leave a washroom in a state that you’d like to see it yourself? If you’re there for no. 2, then it’s your duty to make sure the bowl is clean for the next person – he or she should not have to do that for you! It’s disgusting and vile. And if the place stinks, you might want to at least close the toilet lid, oh, and perhaps even the door when leaving the washroom. So that people sitting in nearby offices don’t have to be subject to the fumes. Don’t people have any etiquette?

Don’t wash your hands…

Unless you’ve touched some seriously dirty stuff or just finished using the toilet. Seriously, a few germs won’t kill you. It’ll keep your immune system in shape.

I STILL CANT SEE IT EVEN THOUGH YOUR IN THE WASHROOM

girls are absolutely disgusting.

I have never ever heard a man complain about the cleanliness of their public washrooms.

But I hear it from girls all the time. And it’s the truth.

Publish washrooms for girls are absolutely disgusting.

I lived in an all girls residence on campus last year, and there was a damn good reason why I moved out.

It was because of the bathrooms.

I know people of the male variety are convinced that women keep their bathrooms in pristine condition with scents and soaps and butlers and couches and all that bullshit- it is a lie.

Women go to the bathroom in pairs to protect each other from being eaten by whatever hideous mess is lurking behind a stall. I swear it.

At my university we have a public center with a food court and all sorts of student services available. It’s appropriately named the University Centre, and is kind of in the center of the university. There are two bathrooms that I know of- one on the third floor past the food court, another on the second floor staircase landing.

The one on the third floor is absolutely disgusting. I have no idea how it gets in that sort of state.

I left Blackall House partly because I didn’t enjoy living in such a small space, and partly because I wanted to cook my own food and shower without flip flops. Don’t get me wrong, I miss living so close to all my friends, but the bathrooms were absolutely horrible.

What self respecting girl would leave dirty pads and tampons on the floor of the bathroom? You might not believe me, but it happened. Often.

In almost all of our floor meetings residents were asked to please respect the people they were living with and throw out their dirty feminine hygeine products like any normal woman would do.

The part of that sentence you might want to pay the most attentiong to is that it happened in all of our floor meetings.

It never stopped.

Our RA even told us a story of how she was getting out of the shower and someones panty liner got stuck to the bottom of the her flip flop. She wound up hopping around the stall trying to hold her towel around her and trying not to slip so that she could shake it off without touching it.

It’s not cool, ok.

The bathroom on the third floor of the UC literally frightens me.
You walk in and you’re faced with a row of sinks and mirrors and girls fixing their hair or makeup or clothes and that’s all normal.

Adjacent is a row of stalls and you have to make your choice carefully. There’s never been a trip to the bathroom where a girl just walks into the first stall and settles. Oh no. It’s a kind of game, checking each one until you find one that somewhat resembles clean.

These are the facts, and I’m sure someone will agree with me: there is at least one toilet completely plugged with number one, number two, and a lot of toilet paper. Someones you can tell when it’s someone’s time of the month.

Then when you find an empty toilet, the seat is dented. DENTED. HOW DO TOILET SEATS GET DENTED. Probably the same way shoe scuffs get on each side of the stall walls. I don’t know why you would pick the largest bathroom in the UC to get intimate in, but that is the only explanation I can think of for those marks to be there. Oh, of course, you could have been escaping a serial killer? But there aren’t any in St. John’s that I’ve heard of so far this semester.

It’s ridiculous.

I have absolutely no idea how they get in this state of disrepair. I have no idea why someone would pick off pieces of toilet paper to throw on the floor. I have no idea why they’d fill a sink with paper towels and keep the water running just to piss off some custodian. This isn’t middle school. Classes won’t be interrupted with an announcement on the fact that the girls washroom is flooding because some smart aleck plugged a sink.

There’s no PA system in MUN. It would be cleaned up quickly and no one would hear about it.

Honestly, I have no idea why girls are so gross, but I just want everone to know that I flush the toilet. I wash my hands. I definitely don’t pick my nose and leave it on the wall.

I miss the days when people just wrote stupid things in the bathroom stalls. Not left shoe scuffs on them and dented toilet seats or didn’t bother to flush- at all.

I apologise if this blog is disgusting, but it has been bothering me since I walked past that third floor UC bathroom and all I could smell was poop.

Emma.

I went into a public washroom, and was met by an unfortunate spectacle of a man naked from the waist down, drying his private areas with paper towels. Now, in a scenario that I have just described, the ‘waist up’ area would be dominated by second-hand clothing, and stink like a farm animal. However, in this case, it was a well-dressed person, white shirt, and blazer. Just an unfurnished basement. Now, some context. It was an airport bathroom. You know how smelly your crotch gets during layovers.

In no particular order:

1. A peaceful place to pee.

2. A fragrant place to pee?

3. Handwashing frilly knickers in the handbasin.

4. The hallmark of a good party = people in the bathtub.

5. How could you disobey those pretty eyes?

Your intrepid heroine donned a garter belt & gothic enough clothing & headed out to a fetish club where, though somewhat overdressed, she was admitted entrance on the grounds that she was The Ultimate Sub.  She also shared some of her very good gothic poetry with you.

***

Now, Ben’s 1. banner behind us, I can dispense with the third person & carry on with my account of GEEK WEEK Day 5.  Science Day.

This morning, I was to 2. conduct a science experiment in the comfort of my own home.  I’m also supposed to 3. blog about it & 4. include pictures. My experiment was pretty groundbreaking, if I do say so myself.  Just look at this lab report!

I. STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM:
Can I predict &/or determine the future?

II. HYPOTHESIS:
Yes.  I will test this hypothesis by spinning a coin 100 times, predicting that the final tally will be approximately 60% tails & 40% heads.

Materials:

My assistant with the supplies

• One (1) Canadian quarter
• One (1) small notepad
• One (1) fine-point retractable Sharpie pen.
• One (1) myself
• One (1) The Chancellor
• One (1) psychic vision
• Time & money

III. PROCEDURE:
After recording my prediction, I sat cross-legged on the floor (facing slightly northwest, with an open window behind me) & spun the quarter 100 times (in 10 sets of 10).  The Queen was heads & the stag was tails, as usual.  On the 49th spin I began touching The Chancellor for luck during each spin, when he was available.  The phone rang once in the 80s & I answered it.  It was TD.  He had some funny stories to tell me about my archenemy & exploding (two words; sounds like “heart shapes”.)  After chatting for twelve minutes, I resumed spinning.

IV. RESULTS:

Before intervention by Chance, tails & heads occurred with precisely 50/50 regularity.  With Chance on my side, however, the coin landed on Tails slightly more than 58% of the time.  Every round with the Chancellor by my side resulted in a strict 60/40 ratio, with the exception of round 9 when the telephone rang, Chancellor stalked off in a jealous snit, & TD’s haplessness briefly rubbed off on me.  I got 50/50 that time.

Final tally?

Round 1: T H T H H T T H H H
Round 2: H T T T H H T H T T
Round 3: H H T H H T T T H T
Round 4: T T H H T H T H T T
Round 5: T T H H T H T H T T
Round 6: H T T H H T T T T H
Round 7: T T T T H T H T H H
Round 8: H T T H T T T H T H
Round 9: H T T T H H H H T T
Round 10: T T H T T H T T H H

Total:

Tails: 55
Heads: 45

V. CONCLUSION:
It’s just as I suspected: I can loosely predict &/or determine my future &/but I’m nothing without the Chancellor.  You can try to replicate this experiment at home with a black cat of your own if you wish, but it probably won’t work for you because most people aren’t magic like me & the Chancellor.

Precisely what the coin saw

Also, don’t go gambling with TD, whatever you do.

***

After this little experiment, I was ready for my next big adventure.  I grabbed some lunch with Braden & then we headed to 5. Science World!

Who am I? Guess. I like blue sweaters & water taxis.

Once we arrived I attempted to strike the nerdiest possible pose in front of a sign about putting the “GEEEE” in genome.  I think I did pretty good!  The first time in my life that I’ve ever EVER done double peace signs in a picture!

omgenome

We only had an hour & fifteen minutes before closing, but we thought that would be plenty of time. Braden bought some popcorn.  & then the fun began!

What a slow poke

We tested our reflexes.  I was slightly faster, which leads me to think it was rigged.

Then we played Mind Ball, which is a relaxation contest.  You strap something on your head & your relaxation waves move a ball in the middle to one side or another.  I won the first round! I relaxed myself by reciting Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” in my head.

Braden pondered, weak & weary

Then we tested our grips.

Concentration &/or consternation

I have no grip at all.  In fact, I was banned from the school’s monkey bars as a child because I would always let go in the middle & hurt myself.  So this recalled painful memories for me.

Absolutely gripping!

But look at Braden! What a he-man.

Then we tried to fit in a tiny little glass box.  If you can fit in, the sign told us, you’re probably double jointed.

Will I need some dismembering?

Not if I have anything to do with it!

The blur is me pulling my elbow in, I’ll have you know.  I made it!

There's more than one peculiar angle at play here

But no cigar

Braden was close. Maybe next time?

We had a wheelchair race (he won) & conducted various other experiments.  We also spent some time with optical illusions.

You know the kind

Then we lost each other.  Because we were so immersed in science!

I learned about facial symmetry & harnessed wind, water, & so forth to power some musical robots.  I also turned a hand crank to run a small television.  What would it show me? What would it show me?

It showed me myself! Turning a crank.  WOW! I shouted, with the same delight a monkey would feel.  I dropped the crank & the picture vanished.  So I turned it & turned it & turned it some more, then ran off to find Braden.  I guess he’d been spending some time in the giant hamburger.

Also, there was a fake garbage dump.  But he saw a real mouse in it!  Funny, right?

I showed him the symmetry machine.

Oh it's SO symbolic guys.

& then we aged our faces by 30 years.  According to Braden, 70 year old me bears an uncanny resemblance to Ptolemy.  But I think he flatters me.

Soon, to our horror, Science World was about to close.  We ran down to play one more game of Mind Ball.

I won once, and nevermore.

Braden won that round.  I was too anxious about the looming specter of Week 11!  Guys, I’m pretty sure it is going to be the craziest week yet.  I don’t want to give much away, but suffice to say my primary fear is getting arrested &/or repeatedly thrown out of places & I expect to spend a lot of time unwinding with a kazoo.

But back to the present.  Perfect.  We had ten minutes so we ran around looking at more things.  We missed at least two whole exciting rooms!

A little suggestive of an oyster

In a room full of dinosaur bones, I accidentally put my mouth on the paw of a taxidermied beaver which had really seen better days.  How like me.  Then we sat & watched some honeybees in a narrow little hive with a window on either side.  It’s nice to know they’re still out there somewhere!

Then with minutes to spare we ventured into what was probably the best & most exciting room.  But we didn’t have time for anything.  We only had time to hoist ourselves up with some ropes.

I wish I had one of these things on my balcony

Barack Obama called Kanye West a jackass, by the way! I love my president!

We were high as very low kites by then!

Go, science!

It’s much higher up than it looks.

Anyway, it was time to go home.  We passed the casino where Braden stopped in to use the washroom.  Wasn’t I nineteen? the bouncer asked & didn’t I want to come in?  “Oh I’m trying to avoid the slots” I said.  He said that was a very good call.

We made our ways merrily home.  After taking my leave of Braden, I stopped at the 7-11 where I bought an industrial-sized bag of 6. Miss Vickie’s Salt & Vinegar chips. Ate far too many & washed it all down with root beer.  Texting Elizabeth (back in Ann Arbor) furiously.  It’s 40 cents per text to the US but Elizabeth is worth every penny.  & there is SO much gossip.

No 7. QAPLA’s or 8. maj’s for me, today, alas, as I simply haven’t had the occasion.  Also, I can’t watch my Mad Men until I watch some of 9. The Prisoner. My package from amazon.ca still hasn’t arrived.  So much for next day delivery!  Who runs the Canadian postal service?  It must be Canadians. Anyway, YouTube it is.

Speaking of deliveries, Ben has not provided my geeky t-shirt for tomorrow.  If I were him, I’d drop it off at Elfsar before work or during lunch.  Otherwise, I’m going to continue to dress like the indolent floozy I am, which won’t be very enlightening at all.

Anyway, look at me!  I’m nearly done with Day 5 & I have plenty of time to spare.  I’m definitely afraid of Week 11, but I’ve also been proven by science to be magic.  So I shouldn’t worry too much about anything ever.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s sitting on the toilet to find the toilet paper roll is empty. It’s dead simple, so I don’t get why more people don’t just do it.

Here’s the culprit.

Just ignore the nicotine stains from the previous tenants. After 3.5 years of scrubbing, they still come back. The stains, not the tenants. Now you see why our washroom is next to undergo renos.

Grab one end of the dispenser and push it toward the other end. Remove the dispenser and tube.

Remove the empty tube from the dispenser and toss it into the recycling bin.

Slip a new roll over the dispenser. Quilted rolls are the bomb.

Enter one end of the dispenser into its holder.

Do the same for the other end of the dispenser.

Presto. Change-o.

A great alternative to potentially harmful vinyl, plastic, or PVC shower curtains is a hemp curtain! No liner is required with this hemp shower curtain from Grassroots Environmental Products, due to the extra-tight weave and quick-drying properties of hemp.

This hemp curtain measures 72 X 72 inches and comes in four colours: natural, seafoam, sand, and keylime.

Hemp is naturally resistant to bacteria and fungi, so all you need to do to take care of your hemp curtain is keep your bathroom well-ventilated and wash your curtain about 1-2 times per month. That’s it!

Hemp requires less water than most crops and is grown without chemical pesticides or fertilizers, so take as many showers as you want knowing that you’ve purchased an environmentally-friendly, sustainable product.

***
image 1 from Greenzer.
image 2 from Grassroots.

Washroom is familiar to everyone. The term washroom is used to describe a public, commercial or industrial personal hygiene facility. It is a must in our daily life.

Apart from washroom, it has many other different functions and different names, like restroom, bathroom and toilet room, water closet and so on. It all depends on the cultural context. In short, all these are a kind of facility provided to allow use of toilet. Washrooms are commonly separated for gender into male and female facilities and some can be unisex. All may incorporate toilet cubicles, while male washrooms feature urinals. Some are designed to cater for the disabled. There are usually three main types of washroom, involving private washroom, high-capacity washrooms and low-capacity washrooms. A private washroom can be a single unit with a sink, flush toilet or toilet and usually a shower or bath. It is usually much cleaner than any public washroom. Washrooms in stations, airports schools are designed to handle high-capacity people with multiple facilities while restaurants and store washrooms are low-capacity washrooms. Washrooms are usually fixed facilities, but sometimes they are constructed as portable buildings.

If you are considering installing a washroom, you have to find a supplier of washroom products first. There is a full range of toilet cubicles and washroom systems available and designed to suit all environments and meet your individual specification, including industrial, endcational, leisure, executive and vandal resistant. From basic ranges to designer styles and school toilet, large cubicles will cater for all requirements. The duct panels which are hard wearing, hygienic and easy to clean can make your life more convenient. when you are making a decision, it is always wise to find a company with a good reputation for supplying high quality laminate washroom cubicles, duct panels and vanity units .Plus a service that can take your project from drawing board to final installation provided by highly trained and experienced washroom fitting teams.

Source
www.Formwise-washrooms.co.uk

I was walking around outside and had to take a piss really badly. A fancy hotel was the closest thing and I went for it, and it was the best piss I ever took in my life. A well dressed man opened the door for me then some hot chick told me where the can was, I went inside and it was air-conditioned perfectly. When I was drainin’ the main vain the best lounge music was playing and it helped me relax to let it alllll out. Then in the washroom a man helped me wash my hands and sprayed me with some cologne!!! The chick at the front desk liked how I smelled : ) Holy fuck it was the best piss I ever took.

There is a prevalant story that makes the rounds at family gatherings regarding my now deceased mother-in-law,  and a bathroom at some camp site, somewhere out west during a summer trip.

My husband, at the time six years old, his nine year old sister, and their parents were driving to meet up with another, older daughter, and her newborn baby. The baby was the first grandchild in the family, and the daughter was living in a hippie compound someplace in the bush. Or at least that’s how I understand it.

Apparently at some point during the trip with the two younger children and their father, my MIL  got, um, shall we say, fed up with her husband, and she locked herself into a camp bathroom. She stayed in there for a period of time and announced she wasn’t coming out.

Whatever her collective reasons may have been, I can sympathize with her. I think most mom’s can, especially mom’s of young children. Perhaps my MIL was in there for reasons that have nothing to do with bathroom activities, but it doesn’t take away the IMAGE in my head of wanting to be someplace where one is completely alone, surrounded by silence, and relative comfort (a place to sit, for one thing).

I often crave silence and solitude. I do. I can’t seem to get any of that anymore. Especially not in the bathroom.

What exactly is it about toddlers wanting to be in the bathroom with their mommies? Is mommy taking a pee really so interesting to them that they have to stand there in the doorway with their incessant chatter about the fish pictures on the shower curtain and the cap of the shampoo bottle? Why do they have to explore the sink cupboard now when all mommy needs to do is take a quick, 11 second pee?

Never mind peeing…the other day the same scenario occurred again. Only this time, I’m in there for a little longer. I’m on my period, and I have things to do in there.

Finally I succeed in sending her away AND closing the door behind her. I know this absence won’t last long, but at least she’s not beside me and watching.

Look. I don’t have a problem letting her watch me pee. Especially since she has shown less than no interest in toilet training. She’s 22 months, and couldn’t care less about bodily functions, particularly her own. MINE, however, seem to be endlessly fascinating to her.

But when I’m menstruating, I prefer a few minutes of solitude, not to mention privacy, a few times a day. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently yes. Because as soon as she had left (and remained standing directly behind the closed door which she not only knows how to open but will do so at any moment) she heard paper rustling. Paper from the tampon wrapper.

The door swings open, and she starts whining:

“I want band-aid toooooo!”

Ever try reasoning with a toddler? A FEMALE toddler? 

“It’s not a band-aid, Sonja”.

“I want moy band-aid !”

“Sonja, I will give you a band-aid. Go out and wait for mommy. Go get your book.”

“WANT BAND-AID NOW!”

I count the days to daycare starting…

This is one of the easiest chores in the house to do.

First, grab a rag. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, even a ripped up T-shirt will do.

Grab a bottle of glass cleaner.

Spray the glass cleaner on the mirror.

You don’t need much. A couple of sprays should do it. Unless you’re rich and your mirror is the size of my entire washroom. You might have to use the entire bottle then.

Oh, some people like to spray the rag instead of the mirror. I was too lazy to take photos of that. Yes, even beautiful people can be lazy sometimes.

Wipe the cleaner with the rag in a circular motion; this prevents streaking.

Spiffy.

alphainventions

Well, the weekend is coming up and for those on the old 9-5, Monday to Friday routine, you might be going out and looking at the housing market. If you’re thinking of buying, either new or old, take a look at my blogroll for links to some places that will give you good advice on what to do, particularly when it comes to a house inspection.

New or old, a house inspection is the way to go. Either from my blog or other areas, you have seen builders such as Mattamy make mistakes and not always correct them professionally. So, new Mattamy or resale Mattamy, a house inspector might save you a lot of financial burden down the road. Hey, Gilgan didn’t get to be a Billionaire by spending all his money on your house.  Just ask him or his agent why they don’t allow a house inspector during construction – considering they are a JD Power multi-winner.

Andy Shaw, owner of Halton Home Inspection Services brought my attention to a link, which I have added to my blogroll. It was for a website called Independent Home Inspectors of North America.  His point was that some inspectors pay real estate brokers and builders to be put on their recommendation lists. You need to pick a house inspector that is truly independant of those you are signing deals with. Even lawyers no longer process paperwork for two separate people in a deal, due to conflict of interest.

YOUR house inspector should be on YOUR payroll and willing to stand up to a real estate broker or builder with professional advice that will save YOU money. Nuff said on that point.

I enjoy visiting the Hawthorne Villager blog as you will find not only those happy with their Mattamy Home (yes, they do exist) but also those with the problems a lot of us have suffered with Mattamy. Nice thing though is that this blog does elicit advice and contacts for those wanting help. Necessary in this day and age with builders using shortcuts, not giving proper aftercare and just walking away from your problem.

For those making the house buying trek this weekend, I add this bit of advice from Andy Shaw, gleaned from the Hawthorne Villager blog. And just for the record, he didn’t pay me to put this in my blog.   I just find it good advice.

You’ll note that he mentions that inspections on NEW HOMES is on the rise.

- – - – - – - – - -

Just a few notes about home inspection.

1) You are able to submit your forms anytime during the last 30 days of your first year of possession. Your year end date is the day before your date of possession but one year later. I.E. – Date of possession Aug 5th 2008, year end Aug 4th 2009.

2) For year-end inspections, note that most inspectors probably don’t spend much time looking for nailpops, minor cracks, loose trim etc. Therefore, your year end list should include the obvious issues that you are aware of, plus the new issues that were identified during your professional inspection.

3) If your date of possession was in Jan, Feb, March, or early April, then consider doing your inspection early. Looking for roof, exterior, and lot grading issues in the middle of winter can be almost impossible. We will be offering early Roof and Exterior Inspections with follow up interior inspections for those people with winter possession dates. Call for Details.

4) Because we offer Infra-Red Imaging during our inspections to find hidden leaks, we need you to call us before your inspection for information to prepare for your inspection. Many people, couples for example, only use one washroom. Prior to your inspection, it’s important to use all washrooms, tubs, showers, etc. for at least a few days. If you are up to it, you could also pour a bucket or 2 of water down floor drains in second floor laundry rooms.

5) Home Inspections are intended to identify warranty defects that your builder is required to, or should repair or improve. We also see it as an opportunity to review and explain things like HRV’s, Sump Pumps, Power Pipes, air flow at your heating system, etc. Therefore, your home inspection is interactive and it is important that you are able to fully participate without distractions. Most home inspections take 3 to 4 hours.

6) One of the strange things about new homes, is that one home could be great ( a few issues ) and the one beside it could be riddled with a seemingly endless list of problems. Don’t assume that your house is fine just because the one next door was OK, or, don’t assume your house will be a problem just because the neighbours was.

The direction we are headed.

A few years ago, many new homes where not inspected, now many more people are getting inspections, and soon, it will be standard procedure.

The Reason.

You need to make sure that you got what you paid for. Plus, if you decide to sell your new home and the buyers inspection reveals, missing roof flashing, an HRV that is not installed properly, leaks, missing insulation and so on, then YOU WILL PAY much more in price reductions on the home than the cost of a good inspection.

What to do.

Get a proper and thorough warranty inspection.

If you missed your deadline for your one year inspection then you have lost your ability to rely on Tarion. But, builders don’t want angry or bitter home owners out there either. If you regret that you missed your year end deadline by a month or two then call your builder. Tell them that you missed your year end and that you would would like to put together a list of deficiencies for them to repair. Ask them if they can help. Often, they will resolve most issues for you.*

* But don’t take my word for it – When you make this call, described above, you should note the time and date of the call, and note who you talked to. Talk with someone with authority. Clearly identify yourself and your home address. If they agree to help you, then get your inspection, make your list, and submit it. Then confirm via another phone call to the person you talked to, that you have submitted your list, or better yet, deliver it to them personally.

Andy Shaw – 905 876 4761
www.haltoninspections.com

http://condron.us/index.php?i=6
condron.us

alphainventions

Because someone asked me to do a post on hanging towels like a man, I thought I’d do just that. Since this is my very request, and it’s a short post, I will overlook her attempt at humour again proving what I say in the about page: women don’t think men can clean.

This here is a towel bar.

Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. That can’t be a towel bar; towel bars always have towels on them. And the towels are always changing colour.

(I will not comment on the fact that most of my readership are women.)

If you ever find yourself facing an empty towel bar, please go to the nearest linen closet and pull out one of these:

Note how neatly this towel is folded. If the towels in your cupboard do not look like this, please fold them neatly before proceeding any further.

Now, unfold completely the towel you chose from the linen closet. Hang it vertically over the towel rod.

Make sure the ends meet up.

That’s it.

Oh, right. The haters. Some hoity-toities think towels should be folded all neat-like on the towel rod. I find my method ensures the fastest drying time.

After all, this is How to Clean Like a Man. Utility. Practicality. Logic.

Grunt.

flickr powerbooktrance

Bathrooms?  Are you serious? What a topic for a blog post.  I know many people get their inspiration there but as a topic.

That’s right, the blog as gone to the bathroom. Why? I am not sure. Maybe it is because my granddaughter is now going to the potty all the time and wearing “big girl” panties instead of diapers.  (Her transition was fast, and a relief to her mom since granddaughter #2 is due at the end of the summer.)

There are so many labels for the bathroom.  I already mentioned potty.  One of the most popular in restaurants is restroom.  Rest?  Hmmm. I do know that at some large companies they women’s’ restroom has a lounge area with chairs and maybe a couch.  (Don’t ask how I know.) 

 The other thing, or one of them, that made me think of bathrooms was a sign posted on the unisex bathroom at the Northern Colorado Writers’ office/meeting room in Fort Collins. The decorative sign lists some common words for the facility.  They include bathroom, lavatory, head, latrine, loo, washroom, water closet, necessary room, power room and toilet. I think they forgot privy.

 I can’t even get into the “themed” rooms at some establishments that have pictures of cowboys/cowgirls, etc. on the doors.

 Yes, I know there are some other mostly crude names for this but my blog posts down go there.

 Here is a reward for those of you who have waded through all this stuff.  Bob’s travel tip is when you travel in a foreign country, know the native term for the bathroom.   In Thailand, I found this to be a crucial point after consuming copious quantities of Singha beer.  Oh, the term is hong nam, which loosely translates to water room.

Just so I could say that  I’m not one who would start something and end up quitting here’s an account of previous day’s non-event that I would soon banish from memory.

It’s one of those days that started badly, unfolded draggingly and ended  woefully.

First, I came to work late again,  for the effn nth time this month.  Unlike my previous lates, it’s totally my fault this time. I woke up late just enough to beat the 10am cut-off if I only moved double time. However, the gloomy weather (cloudy with rain showers) turned me into a sluggish creature who could barely move a limb every few seconds or so. When I was finally ready to step outside, the heavens opened wide and in came heavy rains. Of course I had to brave the downpour and get a cab which was like pulling teeth. On my way to Eastwood, the traffic was surprisingly not bad and up until reaching E. Rodriguez, I was holding on to that <1% chance of making it on time. Hoping against hope was all I could do. I have no way of calling for an emergency leave because lo! I left my friggin’ phone. Woe to me,  vehicles nearing the U-turn slot were practically crawling. By then I have already accepted my fate.

I basically spent my day in the office trying to fight off drowsiness while doing some cannot-be-mentioned-or-I-might-get-fired borrring tasks. Often, in between sitting on my butt and washroom/coffee breaks,  I would check the time after what seemed like ages only to be disappointed that just a  quarter of an hour had passed.

After work I went to Trinoma to buy groceries and some really important girls’ stuff  but I could only find less than half of what’s on my list because stores have run out of stocks. Frustrated, I tried The Block without any luck. I was so beat that I could just fall flat and sleep on the floor.

On my way home, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the traffic was so bad that the usual 10-minute ride home took almost an hour! It wasn’t raining hard, there wasn’t any flood, it wasn’t a rush hour (1030pm?!), it wasn’t a weekend, it just happened that there were a number of road accidents and roadside constructions all at the same time!

Needless to say, I went to bed aching all over and feeling sorry for going through another awful day.

There is an unwritten code guys have when it comes to using public washrooms. Unfortunately, there is not 100% agreement on every aspect of bathroom etiquette; however, there are a few things we can all agree on. Here are some awkward situations I have been in over the last week.

1. Don’t try to shake my hand at the urinal. I don’t know how someone could screw this up. First, I don’t want to vicariously touch your penis through a handshake. Second, for all I know, you just pissed all over your hand. Gross.

2. Don’t pull your pants and underwear down to your ankles at the urinal. You must be pretty uncoordinated if you can’t work a fly or at least hold your pants up at an acceptable level (specifically, above your ass). If you are that retarded, use a stall.

3. I don’t care if you ignore the two-shake rule, but anything lasting longer than 10 seconds is excessive. I mean, I can masturbate twice in that amount of time.

4. Zip up BEFORE moving to the sink. There are so many reasons this is important. First, dripping. If you’ve got an extra drop or two, it’ll end up in the middle of the floor. Even worse, if you spin too quickly you might throw it at some innocent bystander. Second, I don’t want to see your junk. Third, I really don’t want to see your junk.

I wouldn’t consider myself an expert urinator, but I think these are some fundamental rules we can all follow. Seriously guys, what made you think this was ok?