If your heart is broken and you don’t know what to do

When you feel alone, rejected, confused, hurt, angry, and sad

When you gave everything you have and it is just not enough

Be still. You did not give in vain. Nothing is lost. It may take time but you are not alone. The entire universe hears your call and answers your cries. It may be difficult to let go, but it becomes much easier when you see there are so many wonderful things to hold on to. Life, God, the universe, infinity, all of exsistence os eager to answer your needs. Just be still enough to listen. Don’t lose faith. Don’t lose your joy. Joy is not just being happy. Joy comes from within and it is there always, even when you are sad. It is waiting there at all times to comfort you.

It is up to you when you are down to manage your emotions. Your level of emotion determines your quality of life. Something you also have direct control over. Don’t stop giving your heart. Keep giving it freely and rejoice. The person that took it must have really needed it. Be happy for them. Wish them the best. Pray for them. There is no such thing as loss of energy or loss of love. That is impossible. Don’t put conditions on love or you will give love a death sentence. Give it freely and don’t stop. Only use wisdom, but don’t be miserly. I know things can be hard but stay strong, walk in faith, and always know that you are never alone.

Paul

The first time I woke up Sunday morning, I was thinking maybe I should not drive. I went back to sleep and woke up at 8AM.  Usually night sweats happen early in the night. This time I soaked me and the bed in the morning. I took a shower and was soooooo weak and out of breath, but figured I should go to church.

I had a heck of a time getting in the van. I think it got a foot taller! I made it to Lake Placid and was VERY surprised to see that’s what happened to our snow….they got it. Not a speck of snow here in Bloomingdale. The van is not working well. All that money and it’s in worse shape! The transmission is screwed up. I have to rev the engine to get it to shift up. I am not happy with the mechanic

As soon as I got out of the van I felt worse than I had while driving. This time my dizziness and weakness went right to the pit of my stomach. I spent the whole time there desperately trying not to barf. My face and tongue were doing the fasciculation thing….twitching like crazy and forming a sea of lumps and bumps on my tongue. That feels really weird! My muscles don’t work right when that is going on. My eyes almost shut and this time my mouth and eyes were watering. Oh, sooooo queasy

Just like last time I went to church, it was all I could do to make it to the end of Sacrament Meeting. I burped and hiccuped ALL the way home. Made myself a sausage patty and pancake and slept a few hours. Before I fell asleep, I gave in and turned on my baseboard heater for the first time this season.

Woke up weak and confused. What’s with the confusion now days? It happens more often than not that I can’t remember what day it is or where I am. Creepy.

I can’t remember if I have mentioned my arms. My upper arms have gained a lot of weight in a couple of weeks. They also hurt A LOT. Most nights the pain from my arms and legs makes it hard to sleep. I hope this is all stuff related to myasthenia gravis that will improve with IVIg. To try to describe it, it’s as if my muscles do not have enough strength to do what I ask of them and when I keep trying anyway, it’s as if my muscles are tearing like cheap cheesecloth. Fun, huh?

Geeze! Too hot in here! I wonder what I am used to? With the thermostat on 60 I’m burning up. So…I put it on 50. MG makes me turn into jello when it’s “hot”. With the little ceramic heater I was only warming my feet. At the moment, the whole apartment is warm from just the bedroom baseboard heater.

My position on resumes is simply that these documents are your marketing brochure that should capture the essence of how you can “add value” to your  future boss(client/customer).   Your resume achieves this purpose  by imparting to the reader evidence of your accomplishments and achievement .     In the quest to prepare a marketing document punctuated by accomplishment  and achievement  many often flounder by utilizing what is possibly the weakest  phrase in contemporary  resume writing : ”responsible for”.    The term “responsible for” implies that you are only responsible for the task which follows that phrase.  In essence you are responsible for EVERYTHING written on your resume. Remove that phrase and  begin with a verb.  For example:

Rather than: Responsible for  managing a team of 5 associates.  Why not state: Managed a team of 5 associates?  Instead of: Responsible for conflict resolution  programming for 500 first year students, state exactly what you did:  Created, developed and facilitated  conflict resolution programming  for 500 first year students.

In short get rid of “responsible for”  and it’s equally weak brethren “Handled”.    Instead develop a vocabulary of strong verbs that emphasize the skills or attributes that you have enhanced as a result of a particular task or project.

When someone so important to you told you he didn’t believe in something you were crazed about, what would you feel?

To be honest the day he told me he didn’t believe in ‘Forever’, my knees weakened. It felt as if the moment was broken into crazy little pieces and I was in a middle of something so unreal, I was hurt. But I never let it show. I know he meant something about it, something like life can make you feel blissful at times, making you feel that forever is real, but you know at some point, life ends. I know that’s what he meant, that everyone dies for particular reasons, I can’t deny the fact that death is a natural way of life, but I have my theories on forever. It’s not just about breathing, it’s something about more than life. More than breathing, and more than living. It’s about finding the soul of someone you are bound to be with forever, and when I say forever, it’s after life, and your next life, so on. I really thought hard on what positive account I could make of the happening. Then a friend told me: “Make it a mission, make him believe in forever.“, and that is my quest today. Make him believe in forever. Make him believe in destiny and fate. That even if we die just like everyone else, we will find forever. And I would prove that FOREVER is all real. c:

There’s something universal about this message. You can attribute it to loss : Break-up. Death. Misfortune.

Having been through a few of these myself, I really believe you can find yourself touching most – if not all – aspects of Grief. There are (5) stages in total and it’s probably best illustrated in Diane Birch’s song “Nothing But A Miracle”. So here they are.  .  .

Five Stages of Grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

And if this post speax to you, I feel that I have done my job. And remember while you endure this feeling – to stay stronger than weak, be honest with yourself, and in time you’ll be able to iron out the wrinkles in life; forging forward  f – a – s – t – e -r   and STRONGER than ever! I’ll try to remember this on my next encounter.

What’s More? This very Quote by Corrie T. Boom. Remember to hold everything loosely : relationships, titles, possessions etc, ’cause it hurts when the good Lord pries your fingers open!

I leave you with a variety of (4)  songs. Enjoy. Turn It Up. And remember – You are not alone. Everyone has, or will, go through this emotion in life. Same Song – Different Verse.

God Bless & Happy Thanksgiving where ever you are in Life Today =   )

Skunk Anansie are somewhat of an enigma, on the one hand they can hardly be called conventional or mainstream. On the other, frontwoman Skin they have someone with a voice and a can’t-take-your-eyes-off-her presence that your average X-Factor contestant would, and should, kill for.

That’s not to say that she is in anyway conventional either, with her voice ranging from the deceptively soulful to full on growl.

So this is a welcome return to the live arena for one of Britain’s best live bands after eight long years away.

Wolverhampton is ready, the atmosphere is electric and Skunk Anansie, and Skin in particular, are back and ready to rip the place to shreds.

Thankfully they don’t disappoint, rushing through anthems from all 3 albums, and all the new songs from the recent greatest hits album.

Weak in particular is astonishing, with 5000 people screaming it at the tops of their voices and Skin climbing onto the balcony giving the seating crowd a view unrivalled anywhere in the venue.

After barely an hour the main set is through, but the energy expended by crowd and band in that time is far in excess of what you’d expect from such a short, but intense, set.

Unbelievably, the band has enough energy left to rip through not one, but two encores.

This is a great show, in a venue renowned for great shows, and Skunk Anansie are well and truly back in the kind of form they were always known for in their prime.

Summer festivals are going to be immense, with any band going to struggle to follow Skunk Anansie on form like this.

is a virus.
takes hold of it’s host
             uses her up
in ways she never knew. Lovesick
             She Is
diseased.
       w a lk  in  g     th e    l  in  e
     of Life
and Death.     jealousy. anxiety
always questioning.
- it is a State of Constant Angst -
so close i can   smell.       taste.
             see.     hear.
touch.                 right there!
a few     i n   c  h  e s     more.  within my
    grasp.               why can’t i?
Just this Once…                         P  l  e  a   s e.
Pl ea se.          P l e  a  s e.    Please.
i never ask for anything -
    okay…  maybe that’s a lie, but still -
To lay with him, is all I ask.
To hold his hand.
To touch his face. To kiss gently. To feel his breath all over.
To get lost when he enters

I had to go in fasting, so that meant no meds in the middle of the night or this morning. Geezum crow!!! I forgot how weak I am without Mestinon. It was really hard getting in and out of the van. I walked like a drunk, shuffling old lady. Steering the van was WORK.

I cannot take my meds without food, so had to do without. Mestinon is tough on the guts. Days and days of diarrhea have made me weaker than usual…..and also dehydrated. The woman drawing my blood had a hard time. She had to poke me repeatedly and move the needle around. Until then, I did not realize how dehydrated I had become. Did the pinch test and the skin on my hands stands up in a sharp line from being pinched. Sigh…

I’m soooooo darned weak! I guess it will take more than one dose of Mestinon until my strength comes back. Both of my legs hurt unmercifully The pain is making me extra queasy. Sigh…   Nap time!

para kanino pa ba ang mga sinusulat ko?
para kanino pa ba itong pag-ibig na alay ko?
para kanino pa ba ang kantang aking ikinakanta?
para kanino pa ba kaya ako nabubuhay?

ngayong wala ka, dapat pa ba akong umasa?
ngayong wala ka, dapat pa ba akong maghintay?
ngayong wala ka, kaya ko ba maging masaya?
ngayong wala ka, kaya ko pa bang magmahal ng tunay?

ngunit, bakit ngayon, pumapatak ang luha?
ngunit, bakit ngayon, tumatangis ang aking dibdib?
ngunit, bakit ngayon, nanginginig ang aking mga laman?
ngunit, bakit ngayon, wala nang sigla ang aking kaluluwa?

bakit hindi na makuhang tumuwa pang muli?
bakit hindi na maitago ang ramdam kong ikinukubli?
bakit hindi na tumigil yaring luhang tangis ng pusong sawi?
bakit hindi na makaundagaga sa kakadama ng mga atubili?

nasan ka na ba?
ngayo’y tingin ko’y lahat ng pangako’y naglaho!
nasan ka ba?
gayong mga sumpa nati’y nawalan lahat ng bisa!
nasan ka na ba?
ngayong lagapak ang aking katauhan!

bakit mo ko iniwang nag-iisa?
ni hindi na sumulat pa,
ni hindi na tumawag pa.
nakalimutan mo na nga ba?
mga hindi mapalitang tawanan nating dalwa?
mga hindi makalimutang iyakan nating dalwa?
hindi mo na nga ba matandaan?
iyong nadaramang init at tuwa kapag ika’y hinahalikan?
iyong nadaramang saya at galak kapag ika’y hinahagkan?
humuhupay na nga ba?
mga alaala nating dalawa?
ang pag-ibig na ating isinumpang walang wakas?
o iwinala na?
ng bago mong pag-ibig?
o sa simula’t sapul pa lang,
balewala na ang lahat?

sa tingin mo ba’y magiging kaibigan pa?
para sa kin hindi na! tinapos mo na!
hindi na muli maibabalik pa!
dahil sa pagiging magkaibigan
hindi ka na akin!
hindi na kita mahahagkan!
hindi ko na mahahawakan ang mga kamay mo!
hindi ko na malalaro ang buhok mo!
sapagkat hindi ko ugaling magsinungaling sa sarili!
lalo na kapag ukol sayo ang aking nadaramang muli!
wala akong nais ikubli!
tandaan mong ikaw ang susi!
sa puso kong iyong iwinawaksi.

pagkatandaan mo, kapag ka’y umalis
ikaw na ang siyang pumaslang sa dating ako
sa yumaong masayahing nakilala mo, ng lahat
hindi na mababago, sapagkat nakaguhit na ito
sa nagitla kong katauhan na iyo ring inalipusta
sa ngalan ng iyong pag-ibig na iyong winakasan na.

So I’m wondering something, can stress really make you sick? I know it can weaken one’s ammune system, but can it affect iron levels, blood sugar, things like that? I’ve been feeling pretty run down the past few days. I’m light headed and just really tired a lot of the time. I hope it’s just because I’m finally down from that extreme anxiety high caused by all the apartment stress, so my body is kind of crashing before it returns back to normal.

I’m taking iron supplements again incase my iron is low. I really don’t think my sugar is high because I don’t have the symptoms of that…and yesterday I went a whole day without sugar….and today I just feel worse, so that’s a pretty good sign it’s not my sugar going all wonky again. I always seem to feel a lot better after I eat, so I’m thinking it’s not my blood pressure either. I’m leaning towards stress, iron, or low sugar…or iron and low sugar brought on by stress. Either way, I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving now and just resting and eating normal food that’s not the cereal and sandwiches I’ve been living off of lately because it’s quick and cheap.

And if you are asking yourself why don’t I just go to the doctor, my answer is this:
1. I’m done with tests. I had so many while I was pregnant that I’m seriously just freakin done.
2. Doctor = money = more stress.

If this continues on into December, then I’ll think about going to the doctor, but until then, not so much.

In 19 minutes we are having our Thanksgiving lunch at work, which I’m uberexcited for. Real food which will make me feel better and some fun downtime chatting with coworkers. Yay!

The price of gold hits a new all-time high, and oil also rises, both boosted by concerns about the weakening dollar…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: diamond sale. The blog is also related to: loose diamond.

The price of gold hits a new all-time high, and oil also rises, both boosted by concerns about the weakening dollar…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: diamond studs. For a different topic see here. The blog is also related to: round diamond.

I’m still awake. I did get in bed once around 3 AM. I was surprised when Zeke dog asked to come up, too. Must be he liked being in bed the night before. Aleka cat is jealous. She is used to having me all to herself. As I patted the bed so Zeke knew where to jump up, Aleka went down there to keep Zeke out. She even smacked him on the nose from up above. Children!

Zeke spent most of his time in bed panting so hard that I felt like a boat on a rough sea. He really prefers sleeping in snow! He should get his wish later this week.

I spent the night puttering. I would work a while, sit a while. I organized some shelves and paperwork. I read some new seed catalogs. I looked up recipes for foods I have on hand. This night was about like the one before. GUT DISTRESS. Ugh. Either there is something going around or the drama around here affects me more than I would like to admit. BUT…I also ran out of home-made yogurt. My guts have not been well since the Clindamycin. Sigh……

there’s a breaking point for everything.
             comfort never stays comfortable
at some point an unwanted feeling comes in
                         wears out it’s welcome.
            boredom, restlessness..or just
wanting
   more – there’s a moment      a point
                       when things Flat Line.                    need Life
      resuscitate me -        bring me Back        to Life.   Feel alive
when I am walking on the Line of almost Dead
     i could Die at any moment
   the tension
where my soul feels
        like she’s at the border of Crossing
Over past limitations and confinement of this physical
body. This skin
      barrier stops her – yet she
tries to convince constantly

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me (Ps. 23:1-4).

Last week I found out some discouraging news that shook me a bit.  It wasn’t what I expected, certainly wasn’t what I was hoping for, but go figure.  It was just another point this year where I reached the end of my rope, feeling like I didn’t have the strength, wisdom, courage, or resources to deal with a situation on my own. 

There have been so many times over the last few months that, apart from the Lord’s grace, guidance, insight, provision, and power, I’ve been basically helpless.  And it seems like each time God has so graciously lifted me up from a situation that knocked me down, another situation has arrived just in time to bump me back, forcing me to depend upon his strength and sufficiency once again.

So, last week’s news came right on cue.

After sharing some of my discouragement to a wise friend, she reminded me that such a place of helplessness and surrender was probably right where God wanted me to be.

And then, she proceeded to tell me about sheep.  Sheep?  Yes, sheep.  More importantly, she also told me about shepherds.

Here’s the summary of what D shared: sheep are stupid!  Those cute fluffy creatures are directionless, defenseless, and downright dumb.  They’re practically wired to be helpless. 

D described how sheep are easily flipped onto their backs by missteps on only slightly uneven terrain.  And once they’re tipped over, they absolutely can’t right themselves.  Sheep will actually die of starvation unless a shepherd sets them on their feet again.  Wow, talk about helpless creatures!  Apart from their shepherd, sheep can do nothing.

The amazing thing, however, is that sheep’s utter helplessness actually highlights the shepherd’s total love and faithful to his sheep.  Sheep’s absolute dependency upon their shepherd for direction, protection, sustenance, and life itself clearly illustrates the shepherd’s power, grace, and sufficiency.

No wonder God is called the Good Shepherd in Scripture (Jn. 10:11).  No wonder we’re called His sheep.  It’s no surprise, in fact, that sheep or shepherds are mentioned almost 250 times in the Bible.  What a powerful metaphor for our absolute dependency upon the Lord, and His gracious care for us.

But surely I’m not totally helpless, to a sheep degree.  Am I?  Yes, I know the Lord’s my sovereign and sufficient source of life, but for some reason, I so often try to maintain some semblance of strength and control.  I like to think that I have it all together.  And, it’s not so flattering to use words like unable, frightened, weak, and dependent to describe myself.

The reality is, however, that I might as well have been a sheep this year.  But, like D encouraged me, being a weak, dependent, confused, and even completely helpless sheep isn’t so bad.  It isn’t so bad because I serve a Good Shepherd who is my salvation, my strength, and my song.  Because in my weakness, God is strong.  Because He uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.  Because He uses fallible, but available vessels to display His glory.

Wow, this sheep is feeling a little better about last week!

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

I should have never whined that things were “too quiet” yesterday. Afterwards I went through hours of apartment drama that I cannot put online. It involves money and drugs and a psychiatric patient, a frightened old lady and a WHOLE lot more. Waaaaaaaaaay too much excitement and drama. When things get scary, the stress goes right to my guts. I was up most of the night in the bathroom.

Zeke was in my bed when I came back from one of my trips. He looked so cute! I got in the other side of the bed and was totally amazed that he stayed. Zeke does not like to cuddle in bed. He thinks people are too hot. When I got in bed it was 7:15 and when I woke up it was 7:15. No more Dollar Store batteries! It was really after noon

I am sad that I missed church, but am also glad. I really was in no shape to drive. In the night I was sooooo sick. I still am, but feel a heck of a lot better than last night

My health has been declining for weeks, and it finally hit bottom a week ago. I’m slowly recovering. I’m tired, weak, cold, and at times depressed. I had been distancing myself from God, and my illness has really forced me to realize that he’s all I can depend on. Frankly, he’s all I really have. In my darkest moment, when I was too weak to even think words out to pray, I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede for me.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. – Romans 8:26-27

I’ve had to learn to rely on others, and especially God, in my hour of need. I don’t want to admit that I need help, but I had tried to do things on my own and I ended up in a bad place. God got me out of that hole and is slowly trying to heal all these different aspects of my life. I am truly grateful for the people around me, in particular the HOPE team, for taking care of me.

Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ”For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:34-39

Vanavond (21 november) vindt er in Get Rhythm Ridderkerk een benefietconcert plaats. De opbrengt komt ten goede aan KiKa (Kinderen Kankervrij).

Er stonden vier bands op de lijst, maar door omstandigheden waren er twee afmeldingen.
De organisatie ging in alle haast op zoek naar vervangers, waaronder The Weak And The Strong (op de site van Get Rhythm staat Cradle vermeld, maar dat klopt dus niet).

Benefietconcerten zijn voor The Weak And The Strong geen onbekend terrein. Onder andere in augustus 2008 werd er ook gespeeld voor KiKa tijdens het Schiedamse festival ‘Herrie in Schiedam’.

Nog geen plannen voor vanavond? Kom dan naar Get Rhythm, Nikkelstraat 41, Ridderkerk.
Entree € 4,-
Het eerste optreden (zo goed als zeker The Weak And The Strong) begint om 21.00 uur.

Volledige line up van de avond (in willekeurige volgorde):

Skinner Tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd
Playyard
The Veins
Lapré Band
The Weak And The Strong

Chuck Baldwin
November 20, 2009

By now, virtually everyone has read and reread the copious news accounts of the terrible shooting a few weeks ago at Fort Hood, Texas. This column will not attempt to add new details to what is already a highly scrutinized tragedy. However, I do want to pose three basic questions that, to me, are extremely glaring and, for the most part, absent from the discussion.

Question 1: Why were the soldiers not armed?Question 2: If the federal government–including the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Defense, etc., with billions of dollars worth of technology; tens of thousands of snoops, spooks, and intelligence gatherers; and myriad Patriot Act-type laws–could not protect US soldiers on one of the most tightly secured and heavily guarded military installations in America, how can anyone in the country possibly not break out in cacophonous laughter when politicians tell us we need to surrender more liberties so that they might pass more laws to protect us crummy little peons? Or is it that, because Hasan was a Muslim, the politically correct nincompoops in charge gave him a pass?Question 3: How could one man (with no combat experience) armed with only two handguns fire over 100 rounds (demanding he reload at least 3 times) into a crowd of scores and hundreds of fearless combat-trained warriors? I must confess: this is the question that bothers me the most.

Initial reports said there were multiple shooters.

Ok i have to be honest im not sure how i feel about this but it does make me wonder and when 13 of ours troops are gone… it makes me want to know what this was … why it was Allowed to happen … This guy was batshit crazy for islam havent we seen that before??? just sayin’

http://www.infowars.com/questions-regarding-the-fort-hood-massacre/#

The Standard Model of particle physics is a theory of three of the four known fundamental interactions and the elementary particles that take part in these interactions. These particles make up all visible matter in the universe.

Every high energy physics experiment carried out since the mid-20th century has eventually yielded findings consistent with the Standard Model.

Still, the Standard Model falls short of being a complete theory of fundamental interactions because it does not include gravitation, dark matter, or dark energy. It is not quite a complete description of leptons either, because it does not describe nonzero neutrino masses, although simple natural extensions do.