I was just talking with my dad about saps the other day. A sap is a short, heavy weapon, no longer than a foot, often made of lead or filled with lead for added weight. My dad is a retired policeman, and in the 40’s and 50’s policemen carried saps in a special pocket at the back of the right thigh.

Policemen were free to use any type of sap. Some were soft saps, filled with lead shot. Others were spring loaded. Still others were steel “shaped like an exclamation mark” in my dad’s words. But typically they were covered with leather so that they didn’t cut.

My dad and his partners often used the sap in hand-to-hand encounters. With the advent of more “humane” policing and a legalistic, sue-happy society, the sap was phased out. In fact, one article points out how the Denver PD is the last police department in the country to use the “anachronistic weapon.” The Denver PD were sued after a cop sapped a teen who bit him.

After seeing a Filipino martial artist with an extremely short stick (15 inches, maybe), I have wondered if the sap or similar short club might be a more effective weapon at close range. I also think the very heavy short stick or club, like the end of a baseball bat, is more effective in close than a stick, and has not been given the consideration it deserves by Filipino martial artists.

One martial artist related the following bit on a forum:

“A buddy of mine used to carry a short length of hickory dowel hollowed out and filled with lead. He used it as an everyday tool when he was bouncing. He told a story once about hitting someone across the shin with it when the guy wouldn’t cool down. End of discussion.”

My dad had a policeman friend who made him a similar weapon from a baseball bat cut down very short, hollowed out and filed with lead.

One night he and a partner had a guy in a bar who was fighting them. The boisterous drunk hit my dad’s partner, who decided to break out the spring-loaded sap. The cop hit the guy in the side of the face, knocking out a tooth, which went flying, and his eye swelled up almost instantly.

The fight was taken out of him, and he sat down quietly.

An interesting variation of the sap is the “sap cap,” a baseball cap with a weight sewn into it so that it can be used a weapon by grabbing the bill and swinging it.

The Idea Forms

Looking around bungie.net and its Optimatch Playlist Forums, I began to see certain requests for maps being mentioned, among them “put a warthog on High Ground” and “a hornet/banshee on Construct”. This was what actually first piqued my interest in creating what was and is to be a series of maps forged, balanced, and play-tested for a refreshing new look at some of the old maps of Halo 3’s Matchmaking. High Ground seemed like an interesting map to toy with, seeing as it is a well working map already, but with some changes, could become much different but still play well.

Initial Ideas

At first, the main point was to squeeze a warthog into High Ground. In fact, I had done this once before – my first experience with forging was messing around on High Ground and trying to put a Gauss Warthog on here… Of course, being a newbie to Halo, Matchmaking, and any sense of balanced gameplay, I loaded the map with power weapons. Now, though, with some experience under my belt, along with quite a few readings of weapon theory and thoughts about map balance, I began on this, starting with a push of the X button to spawn a Warthog into the bottom base of High Ground.

Someone on the Optimatch Forums had pointed out that keeping the Spartan Laser on the map would obliterate any chances of the Warthog scoring more than one kill per spawn, so basically this set off a chain of events leading to what is now Ground Hog. I think the ideas went something like this…

Warthog = No Spartan Laser

No Spartan Laser = Power weapon needed for top base.

Power weapon needed for top base = Why not another sniper? Rockets are against the wall, so they are still an effective weapon. This provides a long-ranged power weapon for top base.

Sniper = No hope for bottom team’s infantry?!

No hope = Switch OS with Camo, Active Camo now spawns at old OS spawn point.

This was when the idea of “need more anti-vehicle weapons” came to my head… I looked around for all the brute shots/power drain on the map.. but realized that they are extremely helpful but barely used.. tried spawning people near the power drain but it leads to a weird opening view.. So I decided to see what a Grav-Hammer could do in the Overshield spawn. As a short-ranged ground weapon, on a pretty long spawn time, it will be a good vehicle defense weapon while not being overpowering. On the topic of being out in the open to the Warthog’s chain gun, I decided to throw in some cover at the top of the underground bunker, as so many deaths there seem to happen simply from being out in the open.

Pictures w/explanation

Here we have 3 objects of interest.. I will write up reasoning behind their placement etc.

1. Active Camo – With a sniper rifle now at the Spartan Laser spawn, the Overshield could be burned with just one or two shots from a good sniper. I decided that Camo would allow for one man to survive just as well as an OS would have worked previously. 180 Sec. Spawn.
2. Short Barrier – Cover was definitely needed here, I cannot count how many times I have killed/been killed on that platform on top of the bunker. Although it wont shield you from a lurker up in the snipe tower, it will prevent shots from raining down from the beach side of things.
3. Warthog – Obviously, this was the main point of the map, to have a warthog in here. I debated on a Gauss Turret, and still might put that in after some play-testing, but decided that the chaingun can do some major damage to shields, and your teammates can pick up the slack with their BR’s. 150 Sec. Spawn (I think… lol should check)

1. Need I point this out? Here we have a thunderous Hammer of Gravity. As I heart it put, “This will turn a Warthog into a flying pig in no time”. On a slightly shorter spawn than the Warthog, further into the game, the spawn times will be offset and controlling it at the right time will become tricky.

1. To start, we have the sniper rifle. With a run-time maximum at 5, and a fairly short respawn timer for a power weapon (120 Sec.), you have a potential for some long-ranged mayhem in here. Don’t worry about this becoming a sniper fight, though; the invisibility along with your AR starts should do some damage to a sniper at close range.
2. What is this? Yeah, just something I thought I would try out. The difference between plasma and human is that human turrets are projectiles – they can hurt a person, but it takes longer to break through their shields. With a plasma turret here, a Warthog driver caught in the open for a little too long can soon find himself redbarred.

Concluding…

There we have Ground Hog, a Halo 3 map forged by Knight Kninja. Well balanced as forged, but I haven’t had time to play-test it yet. Add me GT: knight kninja and we can get a party going and brainstorm some good ideas for a second version etc.

Links Mentioned

Bungie.net

Bungie.net Optimatch Forums

Download Ground Hog

It has finally been made official, the european release of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker will be on May 27th 2010. Look forward to some major co-op ass kicking with a spy you love. The franchise has improved with each sequel and as for the PSP versions this is bound to follow the same pattern.

In Peace Walker there will be a lot of new elements added to the series, not to mention the co-op feature which supports up to four players. If you’re confused or unaware of what the MGS series is I recommend you visit wikipedia and read… a lot.

Metal Gear Series on Wikipedia

Apparently pirates in Somalia have set up something like a stock market to fund their offshore activities. They allow people to invest in a hijacking with guns, cash or whatever else they have and to get returns on their investment if the hijacking is successful. Piracy has been turned into a community activity, according to an ex-pirate named Mohammed interviewed by Reuters. Some of the paragraphs in the article seemed too absurd to be true, almost like a Monty Python sketch. Like this one:

Piracy investor Sahra Ibrahim, a 22-year-old divorcee, was lined up with others waiting for her cut of a ransom pay-out after one of the gangs freed a Spanish tuna fishing vessel.

“I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation,” she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony.

“I am really happy and lucky. I have made $75,000 in only 38 days since I joined the ‘company’.”

Somali Sea Gangs Lure Investors at Pirate Lair [Reuters]

Don't go friggin near him!

WTF Houston? A Texas Department of Criminal Justice inmate, being transported between jails, has managed to pull out a gun, hijack the van, steal one of the officer’s gray correctional uniforms and black boots and escape with four guns, including a 12 gauge shotgun while in a wheelchair…tada! Yes, Arcade Joseph Comeaux, who was shackled during the transportation had been using a wheelchair for 10 years. Described as black, 6 feet tall and 200 pounds, Comeaux is believed to have simply walked off after overpowering the two officers, leaving the wheelchair in his wake. Hmm, so very Keyser Söze. Comeaux is serving a life sentence for child molesting and a string of aggravated sexual assault charges. He had additional time added to is sentence after he stabbed his wife multiple times with a metal object during a prison visit in 1999 while confined to his wheelchair.

Psst Do you think he used his wheelchair as a crutch?

“The machine has broken, how shall we proceed?” Asked the voice in its metallic rasp of nonhuman vocalization.

“Very carefully.” Answered the pilot. “This is uncharted territory, we must use caution.” His voice had a draining slur, sounding somewhat aquatic from too many whiskeys.

“Proceed with caution then we must, I agree. The lights have blown from a surge of power to the core.” The metallic rasp continued. “Auxiliary power is nonfunctional as our descent is quickening.”

“I need no light to perform the task.” The pilot seemed agitated as he loaded his weapon and leveled off.

“How will you distinguish between us?” The nonhuman voice had a hint of despair in its question.

“There is no distinction, we live in the same head.” The pilot smiled as he pulled the trigger.

(Fin.)

Alice Schroeder
Bloomberg
December 1, 2009

“I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

I called Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas van Praag to ask whether it’s true that Goldman partners feel they need handguns to protect themselves from the angry proletariat. He didn’t call me back. The New York Police Department has told me that “as a preliminary matter” it believes some of the bankers I inquired about do have pistol permits. The NYPD also said it will be a while before it can name names.

While we wait, Goldman has wrapped itself in the flag of Warren Buffett, with whom it will jointly donate $500 million, part of an effort to burnish its image — and gain new Goldman clients. Goldman Sachs Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein also reversed himself after having previously called Goldman’s greed “God’s work” and apologized earlier this month for having participated in things that were “clearly wrong.”

Read entire article

URL to article: http://www.infowars.com/goldman-sachs-bankers-buy-guns-to-defend-against-populist-uprising/

This is something that is rising up within my soul. The idea of purity is something that I see has been lost by many in America, even by me in many areas, and we need to start picking up our swords and our shields and begin fighting for this once more. And I guarantee to all readers of this post that if you begin seeking purity and holiness, the world will insult you, make fun of you, and even churches will call you a legalist. But this isn’t legalism, this is holiness. This is the set apart life that we, as Christians, are called to live.

We must be pure in all areas, physically and spiritually. This world is full of tempting things and it tries to pull us in to take part in its ways. I’m going to be bold in this post and I have already been called legalistic for simply questioning if things are right to do. But this subject must be tackled head on and I’m willing to stand for truth.

I want to first deal with the question of what purity is before I go into what I’m saying. Purity is the untainted lifestyle of a man or woman of God. It’s pure white paint without a single drop of any other color in it. It’s gold without impurities. It is a new born baby’s skin that has no scars or blemishes. It is holiness. Purity is being in the world, but not of the world (John 17:14-15).

Are we watching movies with sex scenes? “Oh, it’s just one sex scene, but the rest of the movie has a good message.”

Are we listening to music that says worldly things such as sex and drugs? I’m not talking about the style of music, I’m talking about what they’re saying.

Are we playing abominable video games?

Are we laughing at perverted jokes or racists jokes?

Are we entertaining ourselves with the things God hates?

Are we cursing and speaking unwholesomely with friends? “I’m hanging out with sinners just like Jesus did.” Jesus hung out with them, but He didn’t act like them. In fact, He preached repentance everywhere He went.

And what about in our relationships? Are we pure in what we’re doing? Sex isn’t the only thing that makes a man and a woman become one flesh. I have decided that I am not going to even kiss or cuddle with my future wife until we are married. I have a past of lustful sin and I am not going to tempt myself. I’m not going to name specifics and say that stuff like kissing is a sin, but I will say that if there is any hint of sexual immorality, that is a sin (Ephesians 5:3) and in our modern American culture, kissing isn’t usually something that’s friendly. Maybe occasionally, but I’m usually seeing kissing as something romantic. You make the choice and pray about it, but realize those things.

Now I’m not saying this to make you feel more comfortable, I’m saying it so that I am not accused of hypocrisy. I am not fully pure in all areas of my life. Until recently, I have not seen “a little bit of sinfulness” in the movies I watch or in anything I do as wrong. But let me ask you this: If your glass of water had just one drop of a dangerous poison in it, would you still drink it? It is just a little bit. What could be the harm? It will kill you. In the same way, our little impurities taint everything we do. We must stop doing these things.

We are Christians. We are called out from the rest of the world. As Peter says in 1 Peter 2:11, we are to be “strangers in the world” and “abstain from sinful desires, which war against” our souls. We have a different nature than we used to. We have been reborn and given a new heart. What God loves, we must love, and what God hates, we must hate. The Apostle John says, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:15-16)

Romans 12:1-2 -
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

We take these words lightly, but why? We must begin taking these words to heart. We must be witnesses to the world. We must be lights in darkness (Ephesians 5:8). We’ve been given new knowledge and wisdom that we did not have before. Now we must let this transform our very lives. The word of God needs to take root in us. It is our bread. It is what we take in. It’s what sustains us. And if our food is God’s word, it’s going to be evident in our lives (John 6:48-50).

Christ is our King and we are His loyal people. Let us put on our armor, pick up our weapons and our shields and let us fight for His glory. We’re living in a world that is against our kingdom. This world is a threat to us and I’d rather die a martyr’s death for my King than give up my loyalty to save my own life. Let us bow down before our LORD’s throne, kiss His feet and declare that we will serve Him in every area of our lives because He is the sole reason we even live.

We want to have peace and happiness, but we’re not willing to fight for the One Who gives it to us. We always want to be encouraged and pitied in our sinful struggles instead of wrestling in prayer, fasting, and fighting with spiritual weapons so that we can have victory over them through the power of God, but that will be another post.

Let us show the whole world that we are servants of the God of all creation. Let us let them know that we are children of the Father. We are knights of a holy kingdom. We are men and women willing to die for the glory of our King. We are different, so let us express this ultimate difference in our purity.

May God be with those that read this. I hope these words convict people and they settle on the hearts and minds of my fellow family in Christ. Know that I love you and I say these things in love, to build others up with the wisdom God has given me. Sometimes it is better to be tough with one another so that we can grow.

As some of you know almost all, especially Navy SEAL operators, has stopped using the Surefire M951 weapon light and almost the AN/PEQ2 too but that’s a another story.

A couple of months ago I bought myself the Surefire M951 weapon like and as all the other things I buy out of referens from SEAL pictures I though it was cool and of course light, but it’s very bulky and weights a lot compared to the current, more used and issued light Insight Technoligy M3X that you can see being used more and more among the SEAL operators nowadays. The positive thing about this light is that you can have it both on the AR15 KAC RAIL and on your P226R pistol.

I haven’t bought the light myself yet since my primary weapon is being worked on at the moment and as soon as the seasons starts for real it’s going up on my prio list of course. The most common colour of the light is of course the tan but also, finaly, I found a picture of someone who uses the black model.

Edit: The light in the picture is actually a Surefire X300. Thank you Devin at Insight Tech!

What insect would you be?

When a fly sees food ,he sits and enjoys it,a fly is a symbol freedom,he can go where ever he wants ,as he is alone, he gets big fast and has a full life,goes to places,he doesn’t have any weapon so no one really tries to kill it unlike the Bee, whose life is constantly in danger at all time encountered with human as human are aware of the bee’s large weapon. There fore weapon doesn’t improve security but it even invites danger.

Bees are patriotic,they carry large weapons in the name of protection of their society, they loose their lives in the process of protection.So when few of them are seen,even though they dont attack, they will be killed. It also encourages people to go and find the beehive which is the source of these patriotic soldiers who carried weapons around in terms of protection of their society.

Flies also travel alone,they dont get into a pack and invade a place,they live for themselves,not tribe or team,its their individualistic living which keeps them safe.when ants collective living style develops, even though they dont have weapons and they just clear the left overs but they will be slaughter in a massacre,because they will seem invading.

An ant never enjoys life,he is always collecting food and working,who has seen an ant sit and eat,his life is much longer but he is constantly working so he really never enjoys.If I could choose in life in what insect to be,I would choose the free life of a Fly and not a constant working ant who lives for 6months and I wouldnt want the power of the weapon of the bee either.Even though the fly lives for 2 weeks only.

Authgor:M.Ebrahim Sadeghian F.

When the lead force of the Kantic Horde finally overran the position held by the Wasp Guard, after surviving a constant rain of lightning charged bolts that fell like hail, they found the detachment was only twelve men and none of them had a single sword blow on them . . . they had all died of exhaustion.

Wasp Winged Crossbow

These light crossbows are very compact with complex, but short, arms to the crossbow.  The weapon is made of black metal and wood with gilded fitting.  As it is loaded and fired it begins to buzz, the buzzing become louder and angrier the longer it is used in combat

The Wasp Winged Crossbow is a +1 light crossbow that only imposes a -1 attack penalty if fired one-handed.  After the first round of combat, the crossbow’s buzzing enhances the user’s bloodlust providing a +2 circumstance bonus against fear effects but also makes the user reluctant to leave combat or any enemy alive.  The Wasp Winged Crossbow can also draw upon the user’s life energy to power a variety of effects:

•    For 1 point of damage, reloading the next bolt is a free action.
•    For 1 point of damage, the crossbow gains the shock ability for the next shot this round.
•    For 2 points of damage, the crossbow gains the shocking burst ability for the next shot this round (cannot be stacked with shock).
•    For 5 points of damage, gain an additional attack with the crossbow at your highest attack bonus (only once per round).  Each time after the first this ability is used in a single combat, the wielder must make a Fortitude save (DC 14) or become fatigued after the shot.

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 13,300; Weight 3.5 lbs
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, lightning bolt, vampiric touch; Cost 6,650 (+526 xp for D&D)

Notes: This is a difficult weapon to balance the cost on, after all it is a +1 shocking burst light crossbow of speed except for the whole consumes your life force to use the special abilities part.

9mm Colt SSP (Stainless Steel Pistol) was designed during late sixties and then shelved until XM9 trials, which began in late 1970s and in 1985 were won by Beretta M92FS pistol. It was then voluntarily withdrawn from trials by Colt for unpublished reasons, and never manufactured for commercial sales. This was a big mistake on part of the Colt’s management, as back in 1970s and even 1980s this pistol had a great sales potential. However, this was not the only mistake made by Colt’s top heads during that timeframe, which almost killed this once famous company by the turn of 21st century.

Colt SSP pistol was made almost entirely from stainless steel. It used traditional Browning High-Power type locking breech, short recoil action, and a double action trigger with exposed hammer and ambidextrous slide-mounted safety. Hammer en-bloc unit is made removable for ease of maintenance. Magazines were double stack, and held fifteen rounds of 9mm ammunition. Sights were fixed, with the rear sight being dovetailed to the slide.

The pistol field strips down to five basic components. The catch is on the frame just above the trigger and operated like that of the Sigma or Glock.

To field strip the pistol down to its five basic components, first make sure the pistol is unloaded by removing the magazine and pulling back the slide to visually inspect the chamber. Once this has been done, decock the striker. Then draw back the slide about 1/8 inch and pull down on either side of the takedown catch. This will release the barrel so that it and the slide can be pulled forward off the frame.

Field stripping is completed by removing first the captive recoil spring assembly from the bottom of the slide, followed by the barrel. The P99 is re-assembled in reverse order.

The M60 is general purpose gas-operated, air-cooled, belt-fed, automatic machine gun that fires from the open-bolt position. The weapon features fixed head space, which permits rapid changing of barrels. It has a maximum rate of fire of 550 rounds per minute. Ammunition is fed into the weapon from a 100-round bandoleer containing a disintegrating metallic split-link belt. It can be fired from the shoulder, hip, or underarm position; from the bipod-steadied position; or from the tripod-mounted position.

The primary use of the M60 is to support the rifleman in both offense and defense. It provides the heavy volume of close and continuous fire he needs to accomplish the mission. It can engage targets beyond the capability of individual weapons with controlled, accurate bursts.

Replaced in U.S. service by the M240B 7.62mm medium machine gun.

The M-60 series also general purpose machine gun is a light weight, belt fed, gas operated, air cooled weapon with fixed headspace and timing to allow for the rapid exchange of barrels during sustained firing situations. The M-60 can be carried and operated by one individual, though it is common practice to assign the weapon to a fire team (gunner and assistant gunner, who carries an additional barrel and ammunition). The M-60 is equipped with an integral bipod assembly which can be used to stabilize the weapon during offensive operations. Optionally, the M-60 can be set up on a tripod for increased stability and long range accuracy. In addition to the basic M-60 there are two variant models; the M-60 C/D (for use on helicopters) and the M-60E3, a lighter version of the basic model used by the Marine Corps and U.S. Special Operations Forces.

A western fencers martial arts weapon

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=22&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PTXT&s1=modern&s2=rapier&OS=modern+AND+rapier&RS=modern+AND+rapier

Once I got off Tutorial Island, I logged out, set my recovery questions, logged back in and set a bank pin.  Then I headed off to Varrok. 

Once I arrived in Varrock, I went and hit the dummies there until I was level 8 attack.  Then I headed off to the Stronghold of Player Safety.  It was very easy and when I had finished it, I had 10k in coins and a pair of gauntlets and 2 experience lamps which I immediately used both on strength which gave me level 9 strength.

I then headed off to the Grand Exchange and bought some iron armour boots, a steel scimitar and some cooked salmon.

From www.verseoftheday.com today’s verse is:

“No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.

–Isaiah 54:17 (NIV)

What this verse means to me:

I feel like this verse means that as long as we are strong in our belief of Christ there is nothing that can hurt us.  Those who perform bad deeds against us will get what’s coming to them.

You have spawned as one of the terrorists or the Russians on one of the maps in Modern Warfare 2, and you, as a patriotic American man, with two brass, unyielding testicles swinging confidently between your legs, are not going to put up with that garbage. Being a terrorist or a Russian soldier bent on killing American civilians is just not the way shit is going to go down with you. You’ve turned double agent and decided to make those dirty bastards pay. Or maybe you aren’t American and you just want to have a laugh and kill your allies.

Hardcore (NON-RICOCHET) mode in Modern Warfare 2 is the only way you can you can properly exact your vengeance on the unsuspecting members of your own team. Unfortunately, Infinity Ward has taken all of the fun out of teamkilling via shooting a rocket at the ground in Hardcore Search and Destroy (like in CoD4), which would kill virtually your entire team at the beginning of the game. With the release of Modern Warfare 2, they have instituted a “ricochet” rule on Hardcore Search and Destroy, which means that any damage you deal to your teammates is instead visited upon you. Here are some tips on how to effectively annoy, harass, and teamkill your supposed “teammates”, in lieu of this egregious mistake by Infinity Ward.

Pocket Rocket:

The best way of punishing your terrorist scum teammates is by using the Call of Duty 4 favorite, the RPG-7. Put the “Danger Close” perk on for extra damage to your soon-to-be-pissed-off teammates and get to business. The trick is to find two teammates that are camping together (which you can do easily using the map) and fire your RPG-7 directly at their feet. BLAM! 3 people including yourself are now down for the count, and you get to sit back and listen to some serious whining and screaming. One of the best parts about this is that unlike in CoD4, teamkills now count as deaths. That means that with every rocket you fire into your teammates, the worse their kill to death ratio becomes; and trust me people are fucking insane about their kill to death ratios (thus the copious amounts of camping that goes on in each game). For maximum effect, crouch directly in front of your camping teammate and then pull out your RPG before firing it into the ground.

EXTRA TIP: Like in Hardcore Search and Destroy was in COD4, you begin the round of any hardcore team deathmatch in much the same way; in a big clump, all racing towards their camping spots. Use this to your advantage and pull out your RPG-7, and fire that sucker into the ground for 4 or 5 teamkills right off the bat to let people know what they’re in for.

The question is, how do you respond to their taunts, namecalling and general fury? Here are some suggestions:

-I heard underground helicopters!
-Isn’t that how you rocket jump? My friend says that’s how you rocket jump, and I’m going to keep trying until I get it right.
-Hi there, I’m just letting you know that physical activity is important, and you can’t just sit in front of your TV and play videogames all day long. I hope I’m helping you to make the healthy decision to go outside for a bit!

ALLAHU ACKBAR!

The point of this trick is to cook a grenade until it explodes while you are standing next to a teammate, hopefully several. That seems a little mundane, but while you are doing that, you are also screaming “ALLAHU ACKBAR!” and “AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIA!!!” out at the top of your lungs to demonstrate total devotion to your deity. Alternate between blowing yourself up with a grenade and going to the cockpit of the plane in Terminal and asking why you can’t crash it into the building.

Flashbangs/Stun Grenades + Scavenger:

While this isn’t exactly teamkilling, it does fall under the category of team harassment, and is thus fair game for this article. The only problem with throwing flashbangs and stun grenades at your teammates is that there are only 2 of them! Thankfully, there is this awesome perk called “Scavenger” that allows you to replenish all of your ammo and equipment off of dead bodies. Flashbanging and stunning your own teammates often results in your teammate getting killed. See the pattern here? Also, for added effect, flashbang your entire team at the beginning of the game.

Here is the trick: pick a SINGLE teammate. Only one. Follow that guy around and flashbang/stun him over and over again. The point is to provoke him into teamkilling you as many times as possible. If you run out of flashes and stuns, do not be afraid of dying to refresh your precious grenade count.

Choice words:

-Man will you stop whining? There was a guy in front of you.
-It’s not a flashbang, you’re seeing God!

Claymore Confusion:

This is one of the better ways of teamkilling because it is extremely confusing for the person you’re doing it to. I suggest getting Scavenger for this one, because you can refuel your claymores off your victim. The trick is to find an unsuspecting camping teammate, plant a claymore right next to and pointing at them.  Move as far away from them as possible and then shoot the claymore with a silenced gun. The resulting explosion will kill your teammate, and you can act as if nothing even happened, and pretend to be confused yourself.

Also, make sure you kill your teammate’s claymores as often as possible. Loudly announce that you are doing so.

Choice words:
-Man! I’m not even close to you! How could that possibly be my fault?
-ATTENTION SkAtEbOaRdPuNk69, YOUR CLAYMORE IS NOW BEING DESTROYED. YOU ARE NOW VULNERABLE TO ATTACKS FROM THE REAR.

More like "Point towards teammates" amirighthere?

Kill them with Kindness:

This one actually requires that you kill enemy players, but it is by far one of the funniest ways of dispatching a teammate. First, you need to have the “Care Package” killstreak reward activated, and then kill 4 people in a row. Next, find a teammate who is camping outdoors. Throw the signal grenade right where the person is standing (this might take a bit of practice), and then hit them with a stun grenade after about 4-5 seconds to ensure they aren’t going anywhere, even if they notice the signal flare. The care package isn’t guaranteed to land on them, but if they’re prone, it’s much more likely.

I find that you can dissuade their fears by telling them before you throw the signal flare that you’re going to do it. That way, they won’t be concerned when they hear something that sounds like a grenade land near them. I highly reccomend this one, because there is nothing quite like watching a crate land on a teammate. It’s really fantastic.

Choice words:
-Man! What the hell are you thinking? You’re ruining my score dude, get the hell out of the way of my care package drops for fuck’s sakes!

Conclusion:

Well, that’s the article. However, I highly encourage you to try your own teamkilling strategies that are a little more complicated than shooting your teammates in the groin with the sawed-off ranger shotgun. Also, feel free to post any teamkilling strategies that you have found to be most effective at irritating your squad in the comments section below.

Continuing the insectish theme:

Like a living thing, the whip struck, carving through flesh and cloth.   With a cold word, the whip’s master made the weapon flicker with dark energy before lashing out with a killing blow.

Scorpion Tail Whip

This weapon is made from cunningly worked leather and metal to give the whip the appearance of a long scorpion’s tail the tip ending in a wickedly sharp hook.  The construction is very durable while retaining a considerable amount of flexibility.  The whip gives the illusion of being alive, moving and shifting on its own, especially when it is left coiled.

The Scorpion Tail Whip can be used as a +2 whip or as a +2 flail as the wielder chooses but unless they have the Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Whip) they will take non-proficiency penalties when using the weapon.  However, the whip can be difficult to control, on an attack roll of a natural ‘1′, the wielder takes 1d3 damage and a -1 penalty to attack rolls until the end of the next round.

Up to three times per day, the hook can be charged with a dark energy, the next time it hits a living target it inflicts an additional 2d6 of cold damage and the target must make a Fortitude save (DC 18) or take 2 points of Strength damage and be slowed for 1d4+1 rounds.  The dark energy lasts for one minute or until discharged and if it strikes the wielder during this time (from a natural ‘1′) it will discharge into her unless she makes a Reflex save (DC 22).

Aura moderate necrourgy and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 13,000; Weight 3 lbs
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, telekinesis, vampiric touch; Cost 6,500 (+520 xp for D&D)

Si creen que la comedia lo logró todo, que ya nada sorprende, que las películas de terror no son como las de antes, que los antagonistas ya estan todos usados y gastados… se equivocan. Este corto demuestra porqué.

Podría decir que lo ví en el Festival de Mar del Plata, pero no porque este año el presupuesto del festival fue casi nulo, las invitaciones escasearon y no pude ir. Así que me conformé con verlo por youtube, en realidad me lo mostró mcerrutti en una reunión. Se trata de The horribly slow murderer with the extremely inefficient weapon, cortometraje escrito, producido y dirigido por Richard Gale. No quiero adelantarles mucho más, sólo decirles (según figura en youtube) que obtuvo 12 premios en festivales y varios “honores” en youtube:

YouTube Honors:
#1 – Top Rated (This Month) – Film & Animation
#1 – Top Favorited (This Month) – Film & Animation
#4 – Most Viewed (This Month) – Film & Animation
#8 – Most Discussed (This Month) – Film & Animation

Had this conversation one evening. It was good for a laugh. But I’m not actually evil, I’m just not.

The title for this one is a Yoda quote that works equally as well whether you are Luke Skywalker in the swamps of Dagoba drawing your glock on a muppet, or in a relationship with someone you care about. Neither situation calls for weapons.

Sorry this one’s all thinky…next comic will either be about zombies, or making fun of religion. Maybe both! Promise. – leebert

away put your weapons