Muntergöken här ovan är Charles Babbage (1791 – 1871), allmänt känd som datorns fader, trots att han aldrig riktigt lyckades bli klar med de mekaniska monster som skulle ha möjliggjort en informationsrevolution hundrafemtio år före schemalagd tid.

Mikrochip enligt Charles Babbage

Det var inget fel på Babbages ritningar — från dem har man senare lyckats bygga helt fungerande mekaniska datorer. Svårigheten var snarare  att konstruera kugghjul och liknande som löpte tillräckligt friktionsfritt — när Babbages urdator kraschade så kraschade den verkligen.

The Difference Engine

Ett annat problem var att CB som så många visionärer var en smula rastlöst lagd och gång på gång övergav halvfärdiga konstruktioner för att istället kasta sig över ett nytt spännande projekt.

Ett tredje problem — som absolut inte får underskattas — var positivhalare. Man kunde tycka att män med mekaniska orglar och datakonstruktörer skulle kunna känna en viss frändskap — om inte annat var de ju båda beroende av hålkortsteknik. Men positivhalarna störde tydligen Charles Babbages tankeverksamhet något enormt med sitt pipande och visslande. Den buttre giganten skrev i vredesmod:

Det är svårt att uppskatta det lidande som åsamkas tusentals människor, och det inkomstbortfall som drabbar mängder av intellektuella till följd av tidsförlust på grund av positivhalare och andra liknande störningsmoment.

Detta var inte hans enda invändning mot dessa gatumusikanter och deras kavajförsedda apor. Han utvecklade resonemanget vidare — positivhalarnas vevande

(…) leder inte sällan till att små trashankar börjar dansa, liksom även halvberusade män, som understundom även bidrar till oväsendet genom att upplåta sina  missljudande stämmor. En annan gruppering som hör till gatumusikens ivriga tillskyndare är damer med töjbar moral och kosmopolitiska tendenser, som genom den får en ursäkt för att exponera sina behag i öppna fönster.

Det gick så långt att Babbage inledde en veritabel kampanj mot positivhalarna, som dock anlade moteld — de samlades i klungor utanför cyberpionjärens hus och spelade högljudda serenader som hämnd.

Under såna omständigheter är det förstås svårt att bli klar med världens första dator.

(Uppgifterna om vendettan mellan Babbage och positivhalarna hittade jag i Simon Singhs fascinerande The Code Book, som jag just läser. För övrigt kan jag förstås passa på att rekommendera William Gibsons och Bruce Sterlings utmärkta steampunkroman The Difference Engine som utspelar sig under ett artonhundratal där Babbage har lyckats och datarevolutionen har inträffat parallellt med den industriella revolutionen — en utopisk science fiction-roman om en värld utan positivhalare, med andra ord …)

I know it’s not Sunday.  Most of this was done yesterday, but then some snow got in the way, and now it’s Monday evening.  So we’re going to have Contro-Monday, or else I’ll get anxious about sounding like an ass and never post this.

The Decision, and How We Made It

Our child isn’t circumcised.  But hey, didn’t you just say he’s half Jewish? Well, yes, but not the “right” half, and even if he were, it wouldn’t have mattered.  Lemme explain.

Judaism is matrilineal, so a child is Jewish when the mother is Jewish, even if the father isn’t (sorry if that’s a “duh” for you, but I didn’t know).  According to Wizard’s beliefs, our son would not be Jewish unless I converted (or unless E converts when he gets older, obvs).  Because Wizard grew up in Israel, his ideas about Judaism tend toward the Orthodox/Conservative, even though he doesn’t practice his religion.  At all.  So while it’s normal for Americans, many of whom practice Reform Judaism, to believe that a child can be Jewish no matter what the mother is, Wizard doesn’t believe this.

His relationship with his religion is a bit strange, honestly, but then I guess that’s true for most of us. To him, “True Judaism” is Orthodox Judaism.  He doesn’t practice it, thinks many of its viewpoints are wrong-headed, doesn’t keep kosher, only does memorial prayers, loves him some pork, and breaks pretty much all the rules.  But to him, Reform Judaism is watered-down American crap that doesn’t mean much.  You can take that up with him.  I think the Reform tradition is beautiful, especially since it includes women(!), and, you know, is just generally nice.  For the holidays, we will be taking E to a Reform synagogue, because I’m not allowed in an Orthodox one.

But unless I convert (which I don’t plan on doing, nor does Wizard want me to, because HE doesn’t practice), E is never ever ever ever ever going to be Jewish, not in Wizard’s mind.  So, there is no point circumcising him into a Covenant that is not his.  If he chooses to become Jewish when he is older, he’ll have to convert, go through an adult circumcision, etc.  But we’ll skip that discussion for now.

So, one reason we didn’t circumcise E is that he isn’t Jewish.  But that only accounts for maybe 5% of the decision.  The real reason we chose not to do it is that Wizard is a card-carrying, club-joining, anti-circumcision person.  He has reasons, many of which pertain to the method by which the Ultra-Orthodox circumcise children. I don’t know enough about this to speak of it intelligently, and even if I did, it’s not my religion to support or criticize.  In addition, he is anti-circumcision because he believes the research that shows that the foreskin’s sensitivity increases sexual pleasure, as well as the research that shows the risk of penile injury to be statistically significant.

Those are his reasons, but they aren’t mine. I say “we” didn’t circumcise, but really, this decision was mostly a  “he.” I knew before I married him that he is anti-circ.  There are no pro-arguments I could have given that are strong enough to convince him otherwise.  And the truth?  Circumcision isn’t something I felt I needed to fight for.  Since I was never truly pro- or con-, this is how I justified giving up the reported benefits of circumcision:

Ease of Hygiene: I have a son, not a daughter, and I’ve never taken care of a girl.  However, I’ll assume that a vagina is harder to clean than a circumcised penis.  As far as I’m concerned, the foreskin is merely one more thing to clean.  You have to do the same for girls, right?  So that’s that.

Urinary tract infections and yeast infections: Again, I’ll use the “it’s different for a girl” argument. The risks of these infections for uncircumcised boys and for girls are roughly similar (similar at least in the fact that the risk exists).  Yes, I do worry more about infections, and when E’s urine smells different, I monitor his general health more closely than I would if he were circ’d.  Wizard and I have agreed that, in the case of recurrent infections, we’ll discuss the necessity of circumcision with a doctor.

Foreskin Health: Occasionally, an abrasion occurs. I clean it, coat it in vaseline, and watch it.  I take care to avoid adhesions.  It is more work, yes, but not on a scale that it actually makes a difference in my day.

STIs: I haven’t read the research closely enough, but there is a possibility that foreskin increases the transmission rate of HIV and other STIs (in general, the research on this goes back and forth, and the criticism centers around controls and variables).  Here’s the thing: if I haven’t raised a son who knows to use a condom every time, I have screwed up.  (Yeah, I know, I’m probably being too optimistic about my influence on his sexual practices.)  Perhaps he’ll  see the (not yet proven) associated risk as a good reason to use condoms though, in which case, WIN.

“It looks weird. OR, It doesn’t match Daddy’s.” I have heard the “it looks weird” argument from friends, including CF, who has seen her fair share on men and doesn’t care for them.  I’ll file this one under the oddity that is “thinking of your child as a sexual being.”  When we say that one reason we didn’t circumcise is the sexual pleasure argument, it feels slightly obscene.  We’re making a decision about a private part of our son’s life; it is probably the only decision about that part of his life that we’re going to make.  Likewise, deciding to circ so that one’s adult son isn’t embarrassed on a date is also slightly strange (or maybe it’s just strange to me).  Anyway, I consider this argument a draw.  There are sexual-function pros and cons on either side. Pick the one that makes more sense to you, I guess. As for the matching argument, since Wizard absolutely doesn’t care, I’ve never given it much mind, either.  If it bothers E, I’ll tell him that everyone’s genitals are a little different, just like eyes and lips and feet.

Those were the major points I considered when “I would never circumcise a child” became a reality that applied to my life, and my parenting.  In the grand scheme of child-rearing, I consider these points to be close together on a continuum.  That is, I don’t see a big difference between circumcising because it’s easier to care for the penis and not circumcising because you don’t think the STI argument is convincing. Choosing one or the other doesn’t make you a better or worse parent, or a better or worse person.

However, there is one (huge) thing I didn’t address: Pain. Okay, prepare yourself to hate me. I don’t think the pain argument is a good enough reason not to circumcise, or rather, I don’t think it should be the only reason one chooses not to circ. My son screams his bloody head off when he gets vaccinations.  We still want him vaccinated.  He also freaked out during the hearing test at the hospital.  That didn’t make us refuse it.  Worrying about the pain you might cause your child is a difficult burden, but the truth is, most medical procedures involve some degree of discomfort.  Yet the pain of circumcision is often the part that traumatizes fence-sitters who opt in at the last minute.  This makes me so sad, because no one chooses to circ because they want their son to hurt.  They choose it because they think the benefits outweigh the costs.

While pain wasn’t one of our con- arguments, penile injury was.  Penile injuries, like birth injuries, are relatively rare, and mainly preventable.  Also like birth injuries, they can range from minor and treatable to major and devastating.  Truth: when you read the anti-circ literature that covers this topic, it’s very scary.  They basically tell you, “You are choosing a cosmetic procedure that could ruin your child’s life.  For. EVER.”  Is this a good enough reason not to circumcise?  I honestly don’t know.  And to be completely honest with you, I’m glad I didn’t have to figure that out.  If I were on the fence and I had to decide based on injury, I probably would have chosen not to circumcise, but that’s mostly because I’ve been exposed to a lot of horror stories.

So, to summarize: we (but mainly Wizard) chose to leave the foreskin intact based on worries about injuries and impaired or reduced sexual function.  Those possible costs do not at this point outweigh the hygienic benefits; we’ll have to reevaluate if they ever do.  And as for cosmetic concerns, that will eventually be up to E.  (Wizard has a few friends who have had adult circumcisions in order to convert.  It’s not comfortable, obviously, but it’s certainly survivable.)

Everyone Has an Opinion, Especially OBs and Grandparents

Objections were raised in this order: my parents, our new pediatrician, my OB.

My mother tried to talk me out of not circumcising despite my “this decision is final and not subject to debate” declaration.  You have to understand, I NEVER do that.  Major decisions, as this one was turning out to be, are always discussed in my house.  So even though I told my parents that this is something Wizard feels extremely strongly about, and that nothing would change our minds, my mother wanted to discuss it anyway.  So I humored her.  Her objections: how do you clean it?  What about infections? Isn’t that…just…weird?  Won’t Wizard’s family be upset?

Yeah, well. I listened, I ignored, I stated to her the same points I wrote above.  As for Wizard’s family, they knew his viewpoint, and they knew it would never change. Moving on to the pediatrician, I suppose I can’t call that an objection so much as a “we advise circumcision but we won’t kick you out if you don’t do it.”  They don’t kick out anti-vax folks, either, even though they are pro-vaccine.  So she told us about some of the risks (infections, mainly, penile cancer, rarely), we told her our reasoning, and that was that.  She said that we would discuss it again should we ever need to (e.g. chronic UTIs).

The OB? A different story.  Long story (sort of) short, my OB practices Reform Judaism, and her wife is Israeli.  They have two sons. So she and Wizard would often chat in Hebrew, discuss the news, that sort of thing (Really! While she was measuring my belly and what not!), and I guess she just assumed that, given Wizard’s racial/cultural/religious identity, we would circumcise.

She was pissed when we said we weren’t going to do it.  Actually pissed, to the point that we were worried for a split-second that she would circumcise E against our will.  Crazy, no?  She turned cold once she read the birth plan, which was upsetting after months of conviviality.  She asked us about it at every appointment.  It was disconcerting, but we were over seven months in at this point.  No one will take you on as a new patient after that point, not even midwives.  I checked.

My OB office has three doctors, and there was no way to know who would deliver me.  When it turned out to be her, I was happy, actually, because I trusted her OB skillz.  So, labor labor, blah blah blah, it’s a boy!  “What are you doing about the circumcision?” she asks?  “We’re NOT doing it!”, we say.  This actually developed into an argument about whether our son could ever be Jewish–in the delivery room, while the baby is getting weighed and I’m getting my vaginal wall sewn back together.

So this goes on for a bit until I finally say, after a total of 24 hours of back labor with no drugs while trudging uphill in the snow, “Listen.  He’s not Jewish.  He came out of a CATHOLIC VAGINA [points between legs].”  She walked out laughing–guffawing, actually, because it was late in the night and she was exhausted, having already delivered a bunch of babies that day–and never mentioned it again.

Where We Are Now

Since I don’t breastfeed, or use cloth diapers, or eschew plastic toys, it’s a strange feeling for me to be on the “good” side of an argument for once.  In general, anti-circ advocates are mainly aligned with organic diet, cloth diaper, breast is best, anti-vax, no-plastic people.  This is in theory, of course; in practice, we all make a dozen decisions every day that place us a little to one side or another of any debate.

As far as I can tell, the locus of guilt for circumcision is pain/disease.  On the pro-circ side: “He’s going to get an infection!”  On the anti-side: “You’re hurting him and maybe even scarring him for life!”  But as I said, oh so many paragraphs ago, pain was NOT the argument that swayed us.  So, we made the “right” decision for the “wrong” reason. We didn’t turn anti-circ because of the more popular anti- arguments, but we’re on the same “team” as those parents anyway.

Doesn’t that mean, then, that you can make the “wrong” decision for the “right” reasons?  I’m not arguing for parenting relativism.  There are some things that are just WRONG.  See:  “don’t shake baby,” “don’t feed baby french fries and juicy juice, exclusively,” “don’t ask dog to watch baby when going out clubbing,” etc.  But if I weigh the pros and cons and decide I don’t want to risk injury, and you weigh the pros and cons and decide you don’t want to risk UTIs, what’s the difference?  We’re all crunching numbers and reading google and talking to friends and figuring out what’s best.  And sometimes, we’re just saying, “Screw it, let the doctor tell me what to do.”

Big sigh.  This was a much longer discussion than I intended.  However, it’s also one of the few parenting subjects where I feel like I’m okay with what we chose, in no small part because I think we would have been okay either way.

Whoa. This is what I’m talking about. Dan Black didn’t have me convinced with his um, cutesy, Symphonies track… but this mixtape sounds promising.

Give this one a listen :

Dan Black | Gorecki, Fix Up My Girlfriend Some More

And download the mixtape | Weird Science

(Via)

Must be Friday.

• Carly Fiorina, who oversaw the unsuccessful merger of HP with Compaq before being forced out by her board of directors, is now running for Senate in California. And she has produced the weirdest political ad I’ve ever seen, featuring a demon sheep. (And remember, I grew up in Idaho, where the political discourse regularly includes discussion of black helicopters and secret UN armies.) If this is what we can expect from Fiorina, I really want her to stay in the race until the bitter end, for the entertainment value alone.
• The iPad’s real purpose: saving comic books. Comics have been losing readers for years, making them largely the province of aging geekboys. But the iPad seems made for reading them. The question is, will the big publishers make comics for the iPad?
• British reporter has her brain turned off by an electromagnetic pulse as part of an experiment. I’m a little surprised this is the first I’ve heard of this brain taser device, and I’d be interested in a brochure.
• I thought I heard something last night. Police detonate explosives, seize machine guns. I love L.A.

By: Nick Bryant

Blogs are not my thing. If I want to read news, I’ll pick up a newspaper. If I want opinions on current events, I’ll ask my friends. And I don’t much care to read someone’s online diary.  So I went into this blind, not knowing where to look or what to look for. Through a series of random clickings I came across a few that tickled my fancy, believe it or not.

1.  Weird Science- This blog isn’t just for the scientists and nerds of the world. Anyone interested in what makes a spider’s web sticky, why some cancer patient’s fingerprints disappear, gene mutations, or anything of that nature would find themselves at home here. While the amount of posts are few and far between, they are detailed and, in my opinion, interesting.

2. Gizmodo- In this rapidly advancing world it is sometimes hard to keep up with new technology. There’s a blog for that. Gizmodo has everything from cameras and computers to game consoles to phones to the internet. It even has information on developing technologies and technologies that could theoretically be developed. The posts are long and detailed, but that is expected of a technology blog. Specifications, speculations, opinions, comparisons, everything you could want or need to become tech savvy.

3. Casual Game Blogs- Okay, if you cry foul on this one, I won’t argue. Casual Game Blogs isn’t a blog, but a collection of them. It is written primarily by game creators, but there is some fan input as well. New games coming out, reviews on games that already came out, updates on game related lawsuits, tips on buying games and saving money. With short and simple posts, this blog has all the information on indie games you could ask for.

This website is perhaps the most fascinating one Shizuru has come across to, all through this term… It is the Division of Rare and Manuscript Collections at the Cornell Univeristy Library.I wish Ice’s university library could hold such gems that we could touch… But just looking is fine for now.We are stunned by the illustrations. It reminds me of a Andrew Lang’s Fairy Books and W. Heath Robinson’s books. They are for the most part lithography dating back to early 19th century. Amazing indeed. These are just couple of them. Do make sure to check it out!

We are no longer allowed to look at fireballs in the sky. Whatever they are, they’re classified. No. Really. Because . . . Well, just because. Just . . .  Just. Shut. Up. Obey your government. Or else:

Military Hush-Up: Incoming Space Rocks Now Classified
By Leonard David
SPACE.com’s Space Insider Columnist
posted: 10 June 2009
05:35 pm ET
For 15 years, scientists have benefited from data gleaned by U.S. classified satellites of natural fireball events in Earth’s atmosphere – but no longer.

A recent U.S. military policy decision now explicitly states that observations by hush-hush government spacecraft of incoming bolides and fireballs are classified secret and are not to be released, SPACE.com has learned.

So. What do you think they’re up to?

I’ve been skywatching at night. While I was renovating my bedroom I was able to see the sky before dropping off to sleep.  How could I have ignored it for all these years? I’d been keeping the curtains shut. My bedroom faces the street and I have a nosy neighbor who would like nothing more than to see me walk back and forth from my bathroom to pee. This renovation project left me a little exposed, but at least I got a taste of what it was like to see the sky at night, and now that the project is almost completed I’m not about to give it up.  This is my compromise: Hanging my curtains cafe style.

Now I watch the sky at night and I’ve seen so many things.  Sometimes portions of the sky light up with colors, either purple-blue or orange-red. I see objects that look like stars, except if you watch them for awhile you’ll see those “stars” moving. I suppose they could be satellites, and if I’m right there are a lot of satellites up there.  I also see large number of star-like objects swarming like bees or birds.  They are much too high up to be normal aircraft and they make no sound.

I don’t know what to make of any of it, except that it’s interesting.  I think I might want night vision goggles and a telescope for my birthday so I can . . . be a criminal?

One flyin' rock away from extinction....

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. We’ve all heard these asteroid doomsday predictions before. This particular asteroid called Apophis, however, is creating quite a stir. It has Russia scared. How scared? This scared.  Russia just happens to be in the predicted impact path of this asteroid as seen below:

Possible impact locations of Apophis asteroid

And…if the asteroid doesn’t hit in 2029, Earth’s gravitational pull on it as it passes by in 2029 could actually bring it even closer to Earth in 2036.  Some eerie things about this asteroid:

• Apophis is the Greek name of the Ancient Egyptian enemy of Ra: Apep, the Uncreator (or Destroyer).
• APOphis……APOcalypse.
• The actual predicted date of impact is April 13th 2029…Friday the 13th.

Ooooo…….spooky!

Weird situations and weird characters in Weird Science. ‘It’s all in the name of science’ – frank-e(i)nstein-ly funny. The Creators creating the Creation and vice-versa also weirdly true. Weird fantasy and magic in a weird movie.

GOIP Press—Extree extree read all aboutit! Ken Silva and Eric Barger unveil a new invention for all GOIP Dicernmentalists. Introducing the new Self-Inflating Egoanator Device–guaranteed to aid Discernmentalists in their Truth War efforts by giving Discernmentalists a quick boost to their egos and helping them to one-up those vile Emergent heretics. This device is so fearsome to our enemies that it strikes a wave of  terror even amongst the hardest-hearted atheists. They fear this device so much they even attack it:

in the words of (notable atheist) Arthur C. Clarke, “there is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing — absolutely nothing — except turn itself off.”

But who listens to atheists anyway—certainly not any True Absolute Truth Discernmentalists. Anyways behold the horror of the Absolute  Truth proving Self-Inflating Egoanator Device all ye atheists, apostates and heretics:

 Wee vill vin the Truth Wars because we alone hold to the Absolute Truth Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and the Absolute Truth is ours alone.

The natural world is an amazing place, teeming with an endless variety of creatures both big and small. Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel? That shit is real, my friends, and is just outside your door. Have you ever watched a rabbit scamper across a flower-filled field, or a whale leap from the water for the sheer joy of the experience? The sun is always warm and inviting, and a promise of endless possibility hangs unspoken in the air. It makes me want to shed a single tear of joy.

Audience stunned when lion proceeds to maul driver to death.

The truth is there has been a systematic “Disneyfication” of nature that has brought about a generation of young men and women unable of properly appreciating the terrifying precipice that we all hang from. Nature gave us large brains, opposable thumbs, and a disturbing sense of self-entitlement which has allowed us to maintain dominion over the animal kingdom.

Did you know tigers were almost driven to the edge of extinction because humans decided it would be fun to shoot them? Now, I don’t know if that’s actually true, but I think its a safe bet to say a wicked set of claws is little defense against a dude with an elephant gun.

But Bob Dylan said it best, the times are a changing. The average Canadian doesn’t even understand how their fucking microwave works, let alone how to properly fear the grim reality of gnashing teeth and tearing claws – especially when the liberal media is forever exposing us to cutesy-versions of wild animals engaging in well timed musical interludes.

Did you know the classic Savannah lion is smart enough to get bored with the more traditional means of killing its prey, they will invent new ways to kill prey? The traditional pounce-and-bite getting you down? Experiment with dropping wildebeests furiously on their necks! How long do you think it’ll be until they begin experimenting on you?

As a purveyor of information, I therefore take it upon myself to educate you, my fond readers, about some of the animals I have personally taken exception to. Without further ado;

1) The Blobfish

Turn that frown upside down!

So yeah, it’s a human face on the body of a fish. Nothing inherently terrifying about that, right? Right?

Seriously, look at the face on that thing! It looks like something some mad genius would cook up in between taking hits of LSD and playing rounds of Pacman.

The Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus) is a deep-sea fish, living at the extreme depths of the ocean. It’s body is a gelatinous-mass of tissue just barely denser then the water around it, allowing it to float lazily about the ocean floor. Frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to unsee that face. I don’t think I can eat a fish that looks like it disapproves of me. I get enough of that at home.

2) The Tongue-Eating Louse

...

I don’t even know where to begin. This little gem is known as Cymothoa exigua, or the Tongue-Eating Louse, a native of the coasts of California. Just think; next time you’re visiting California and you decide to go for a little swim, somewhere out there, there is a fish trying to eat with this thing attached to where it’s tongue used to be.

If you are not even mildly repulsed at the thought of a parasitic crustacean entering your mouth through your gills, cutting off blood to your tongue until it atrophies and falls off, and then replacing the lost organ with it’s own body…well, you freak me the fuck out. Thankfully, its the only known parasite which replaces the host’s organs with it’s own body, but good-goddamn. Look at that thing! That’s enough to keep me up at night.

3) The Giraffe

The essence of youthful disillusionment.

You might be asking yourself, “Why would the Giraffe make it onto this list?” Not an altogether ridiculous question, really.

The giraffe was once my favorite animal, just after the Stegosaurus and right before the Unicorn (I was a weird kid). I know all kinds of weird factoids about the giraffe you might not be aware of. Like, did you know the giraffe is the tallest land animal? That’s the kind of hard-hitting journalism we try to provide here at I Am Not A Credible Source.

The truth is, it was a giraffe that taught me animals need to be both feared and respected. As a child, my family would sometimes go to great lengths to construct elaborate ways to punish each other; you might have called these vacations. Thankfully, my father has never lacked for imagination. For some reason, he came to the decision that a drive-through safari would be the ultimate way in which we could learn to appreciate those family values so often take for granted.

To make a long story short, a giraffe bit my Dad.

Granted, he yanked on the poor creature’s 18-20 inch tongue, but it was not premeditated. How was he supposed to imagine that the giraffe was going to stick its head into the car, it’s long grasping tongue in search of food? We’re Indians (Native Americans to you), and we were bored.

On that day, I learned a valuable lesson; animals get upset when you harass them, and evolution has not made me properly equipped to manage the ire of a 2,600 lb mammal.

4) The Coconut Crab

Try putting this crab in a bucket!

Ever see the 1981 Clash of the Titans? Do you remember the giant scorpion, and how scary that thing was? Well the Coconut crab is that guy’s little brother.

The Coconut crab is simply massive. While most reports put this crab at an average body length of 40 cm (16 in), a weight of up to 4.1 kg (9.0 lb), and a leg span of more than 0.91 m (3.0 ft), terrifyingly there exist reports of specimens reaching 6ft across the thorax (division of an animal’s body that lies between the head and the abdomen) and weighing nearly 30 lbs! One of these things could feed a family of four for a week, and when they’re done, they could live in it comfortably!

This little beauty is a native of islands of the South Pacific and Indian Oceans. Christmas Island is just blessed to be home to the largest

This guy makes me grateful I only find racoons going through my trash.

population of this massive crustacean. I’m sure the other denizens of Christmas Island are just tickled-pink every time they see one of these monsters digging through their trash with unfaltering diligence.

If ever you find yourself being pinched by one of these guys, you might find they are unwilling to let go; do not panic! Once the incredible pain subsides (they are able to shear through a broom handle), you will find they quickly loosen their grip after giving their bellies a good tickle. That’s why I love science; you can’t make this shit up!

5) The Goliath Bird-Eating Spider

Every nightmare you've ever had is just an average day at the office for this guy...

Some pictures just speak for themselves.

You ever wonder why arachnophobia exists? It’s because within our shared ancestral knowledge, or buried deep within our genetic code, is the uneasy knowledge that somewhere out there, there is a tarantula the size of your goddamn face going about its business with appalling persistence.

Like most spiders, the Goliath bird-eating spider is poisonous, but (Thank god!) the poison is comparable to the sting of a wasp when used on humans. They are also able to shoot their hair at potential enemies, who then find the hair to be extremely irritating to the skin and lungs, not unlike fiberglass. I bet Spider-man wishes he got that power instead of just a dead uncle.

While these defenses might seem rather weak at first blush, think about what we’re talking about here! I ask you, what animal in its right mind is going to mess with a spider bigger than a dinner plate? I can’t think of any!

A surprising new study in mice provides the first evidence that long-term exposure to electromagnetic waves associated with cell phone use may actually protect against, and even reverse, Alzheimer’s disease. Via Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

This animated gif shows footage of the recent “near-miss” asteroid captured by a team of  Italian astronomers.  Click on image to see it move.

The asteroid, dubbed 2010 AL30, passed by earth on Wednesday at a distance of one-third that of the distance between the Earth and the Moon.  However, it never was on a course to impact with Earth.  And, even if it had been, it would have likely burned up in the atmosphere.

A map of Earth according to FET

I’ve become oddly obsessed with The Flat Earth Society website of late—which is a work of such unbridled idiocy that I feel sure only an intellectual powerhouse can be behind it. I initially thought that it must be a hoax, but after idling a few lunchtimes away trawling the forums, I’ve now been convinced of its all-too-disturbing veracity.

Basically, as the name suggests, these folks believe that the Earth is flat, not spherical, and they validate their assertions by concocting a number of slightly differing theoretical perspectives, which can be broadly grouped together under the umbrella term ‘Flat Earth Theory’ (FET). Armed with this ersatz ‘theory of everything’, society members can explain away gravity, satellite imagery, seasons, long-distance air travel and much more besides, and I can’t help but find their obdurate belief in FET strangely compelling.

One of the more generally accepted theories in FET circles is a process called Universal Acceleration (UA), which is used to counter the troubling notion of the Earth’s gravitational field. In UA, the Earth—disc-shaped, flat and surrounded on all sides by a 150-foot wall of ice protected by specially-appointed guards—is travelling upwards through space at a fixed speed equal to 1G, meaning that when you jump in the air, the ground comes up to meet you, rather than you descending to meet it. It really is ingenious stuff.

Those few who try to unsettle the members’ quasi-religious faith in FET—usually by citing scientific evidence, however flimsy—are forced to confront the self-fulfilling prophecy that drives the society forward, which basically posits that anything outside of FET is conspiracy, and is therefore inadmissible as evidence. A more watertight exposition of self-denial you are unlikely to find, and it is demonstrated ad nauseum by the society’s more stalwart members.

Prior to activating this escape clause though, the members usually refer the query to the FAQ section—a sacred enclave of the website where the central and immovable tenets of FET are carved in stone. For many of the members, this knowledge bank is irrefutable, and serves as an essential resource when it comes to defending FET from attack. Once theories enter the FAQ, they are enshrined in a self-perpetuating truthfulness, however ludicrous that may seem to an external observer. Here, for example, are some of my favourites:

Question: “NASA and other world space agencies have pictures of the Earth from space, and in those pictures the Earth is clearly a globe; in this day and age, hasn’t it been proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is round?”

Answer: NASA and the rest of the world’s space agencies who claim to have been to space are involved in a Conspiracy to keep the shape of the Earth hidden. The pictures are faked using simple imaging software.

Question: “What about Lunar Eclipses?”

Answer: A celestial body, known as the antimoon, passes between the sun and moon. This projects a shadow upon the moon.

Question: “What about the stars, sun and moon and other planets? Are they flat too? What are they made of?”

Answer: The sun and moon, each 32 miles in diameter, rotate at a height of 3000 miles above sea level. As they are spotlights, they only illuminate certain places. This explains why there are nights and days on Earth.

If you should have the gall to doubt these ‘facts’—and many do—you are either dubbed a conspirator or referred back to the FAQ for further schooling, which in a fairly neat way renders all debate with the members entirely pointless. For those belligerent few who do choose to persevere, the message is unambiguous: persistence is futile.

God bless the internet.

]]> http://yearofmagicalreading.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/1-the-year-of-the-flood/ Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:56:43 +0000 Caitlin http://yearofmagicalreading.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/1-the-year-of-the-flood/

In which I worry about my lack of post-apocalyptic survival skills and seriously consider becoming a vegan

Title: The Year of the Flood

Author: Margaret Atwood

What its about: The Year of the Flood is the story of two different women who have survived a catastrophic plague that has wiped out much of humanity. Both were members of the God’s Gardeners, a group somewhere between religion, cult, and underground resistance movement that has anticipated an apocalypse-like disaster they call The Waterless Flood. Toby barricades herself into the high-end spa where she once gave rich women herbal wraps and chemical peels. Ren, an exotic dancer, ends up locked into the nightclub’s safe room merely by chance. The two wonder about the fate of those they knew and loved, and try to survive as food runs short and other survivors become violent.

The book is the second in a series, following Oryx and Crake, which described how the plague came to pass. The thing Atwood’s writing is extremely smart and she makes you feel as though this hypothetical world could easily exist. It’s almost frightening how convincing her vision of the future is. For example, let’s imagine that giant pigs were bred to grow human-compatible organs. It’s an idea that’s already floating around, right? Atwood takes it one step further by suggesting that the pigs might grow replacement neural tissue, too. We could use it to cure brain cancer or help a paralyzed man walk again. Ok, I’m with you so far. But, pig body, human neural tissue . . . aren’t we now talking about a new type of sentient being?? One that we’d slaughter to harvest their brain stem?

The book is packed with scary, but provocative ideas like this. In this speculative society, the real has run out, and pretty much everything has to be manufactured . . . hence my momentary consideration of becoming a vegan. The description of chicken meat being synthetically produced really made me want to start eating organic. I even bought organic chicken the last time I went to the grocery store, and it actually did taste better! I think I’m switching.

This book made me want to learn more about: Wild plants. One of the skills the God’s Gardeners cultivate is knowledge of edible and useful plants (in preparation for a Waterless Flood that they believe will renew the Earth). It made me realize that this is really a lost art, but it should be a fundamental survival skill. Currently I limit my foraging to the produce section of my grocery store. I’ve certainly never had to consider what I could eat that grows naturally in my area. But if you think about it, this is a potentially life-saving skill and the kind of knowledge that could very well die out in the next generation. Some might already consider it dead and gone.

If you are interested as well, check out Langdon Cook’s blog Fat of the Land, in which he details his adventures in modern-day foraging, complete with recipes!

Would I recommend? Yes! I love Margaret Atwood and I loved this book! She’s best known for The Handmaid’s Tale and this new book (2009) is very much in the same vein. I would recommend that you read Oryx and Crake first though, just for background information and some characters that appear in both.

So I was offline for almost a month, spending the holidays in Colorado, no landline phone, no Wifi, no email, no mornings spent perusing The Daily Mail or any other mildly amusing waste of time. The air tasted cleaner. I felt stronger. I talked to my neighbors . . . . Which is all true, although I would also add that it wasn’t that big of a deal. The internet is like indoor plumbing now, something you take for granted in a normal household. It did free up my mornings a bit. I tend to wake up and read the New York Times and a few other news sites to see what’s going on in the world. And is that necessary? I don’t know. Like anything else, you can get addicted to Information.

For Christmas my family received one of those framed gadget-things that display jpeg-images in a slideshow, and it seemed to land on my shoreline as one-too-many gadgets. I have iphoto and Picasa to display my jpegs on my laptop, and now I’m supposed to read the directions to setup this gadget to do the same thing? I’m over this Gadget Age. It’s draining the time of our lives.