TLDR:
PvP isn’t quite dead, it’s just gone into hiding in BGs and arenas. I miss the open-world conflict.

1.
You queue up for a BG.
You zone in.
You know immediately what the terrain will look like.
You leave for another BG or you stay.
You find one you like and you get moving to the action.
You know exactly what the other side is going to be trying to do, and you know exactly what your side is trying to do – it’s OBJECTIVE BASED.
There’s a goal.
There’s structure.
Your play is channeled and lead, hand-held-firmly, towards the rewards by Big Brother Blizzard.
There’s little variation.
The other team might try THIS, your side might try THAT.
In the end you end up arguing about win-loss percentages and how specific terrain feature X is causing your side to lose (or rarely, win).

2.
You get a friend or two or four and jump into arenas.
You zone in.
You know immediately what the terrain will look like.
You know exactly what the other side is going to be trying to do, and you know exactly what your side is trying to do – it’s OBJECTIVE BASED.
There’s a goal.
There’s structure.
It’s immediate action, quick and dirty.
Gear and some skill is what matters.
A little coordination and voice communication helps.
Gotta have the right mods.
Gotta have the right spec.
You learn a bunch, and eventually end up going 50-50% at some rating.
You keep seeing the same arena maps week after week after week.
The same strategies.
The same classes dominate, though it changes with seasons and patches.

3.
You mess around somewhere in the rest of WoW.
You’re leveling an alt, or your main, or getting some stuff somewhere.
Picking flowers, getting some loot from a mining vein or whatever.
You get into a scrap with someone.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE TERRAIN WILL BE TIL YOU’RE ALREADY FIGHTING.
You have no idea what your opponent’s spec is.
You have no clue if he’s got friends close by or not, until they’re suddenly upon you.
One or both of you gets away and hops on a flying mount and disappears.
Or you finish the fight and there’s a winner.
Sometimes you get smoked in seconds.
Sometimes you win, repeatedly.
Sometimes you have one of those gut-wrenching fights that you’ll remember for years.

My point: All three of the above involve Player vs. Player conflict. It’s just that the first two kinda took the WAR out of the World of WARcraft for me. I miss the sense of a world in conflict. I miss the sense of

“Hey, don’t go there – that’s Horde Territory.”

I miss the sense of adventure.
I miss seeing the other pvpers on my server in BGs and open-world pvp every day if I choose to engage in PVP. You’d see your nemesis and square off, then get into it on the realm forums.
You’d have vendettas.
You’d have a huge and very socially important reputation on your server.
When was the last time someone had a BG-reputation in a battlegroup?
Ok, once you get up really high in arenas you’ll have that reputation.
Other than that, you can reasonably expect not to be interacting in PVP with the people you see around Dalaran every day, except once in a while in Wintergrasp.

Wintergrasp just got another ‘fix’ in it – there’s a limit to how many people and what level you are, the outnumbered side gets buffs and if you’re continually unable to defend or attack you’re getting even bigger hidden buffs. They’ve got that part right.

AND THERE’S NO REASON WHY IT COULDN’T APPLY TO ALMOST EVERY ZONE.

Every zone should be capturable – or damn near every one of them, newbie zones and up to level 30ish maybe excepted. Imagine being able to only capture zones that are next to the ones’ already captured by your side. The ebb and tide of world pvp would never cease. Buffs and timed hidden buffs for the disadvantaged side to keep it reasonably halfway fair even on heavily lopsided servers like Cho’gall or even my own Ravenholdt (usually 2:1 Horde favour). Imagine having to be a certain level or below to be able to engage in pvp in certain zones. Twinks are suddenly useful in world pvp, but not too powerful or rewarding or there’ll just be mass griefing by the twinkers. Level 15 world pvp raid quests, that can’t be interfered with by anyone above level 15.

FLYING MOUNTS

There has to be some sort of limit to just flying around and being invulnerable wherever you are. ‘Fatigue’ if you’re just hovering and doing nothing. Enemy players being able to chase you down and make you land eventually. Flying NPCs that patrol the skies over zones your faction controls. If there’s no danger or consequence to just flying along or going /afk in the air, then there’s no world pvp and no sense of danger on a PVP server. You might as well just call them all PVE servers by then. I guess the main towns and cities will have guards in the air but that’s just not enough.

Do we really want a PVP server environment in WoW where you just fly up, fly to where you need to go, do your thing and fly back – with no danger or possible interaction with opposing-faction players on the way there and back? I don’t. I rolled on a PVP server to have a sense of danger and excitement just from running around in the world. I hate loading screens. I want a seamless world with an immersive experience.

But yeah, I’m in the minority.

At the risk of making another stroke-me post, I have to put a few screens of what has been happening since Halomoo went resto-spec for PvP. We routinely take on more than what we have, but more often than not we’re fairing very well.

It’s comforting because originally our group composition just wasn’t going to work in any capacity. Of all the guys playing with me we had Halo as an Enhancement Shaman, Lozar as a Feral Druid, Arccadun as a Boomer, Tahh as a BM Hunter and Youlockdat as an Affliction Lock. Completely impossible to work together, not enough elements to succeed in Arena – it was looking rough. Add to the fact that we’re all casuals who aren’t exactly well-geared, and…ya.

For now, Halo is right up there with me in terms of gear and it’s showing. Lozar is starting to get into heroics and beginning to differentiate his gear between PvP and PvE, and Arccadun isn’t horribly geared to begin with who is getting better by the day.  Our Lock rolled a druid with the intent of going resto, so who knows – we may one day have a tree-hugging team of a DK, Shaman and 3 Druids. Either way, battlegrounds are starting to get a lot more fun.

Credit to whoever did it, I can’t read the author in the top-right hand corner.

But this is accurate. I was just talking to Lozar about PvP gemming and honestly the best advice I can give to anyone is to find the top Arena players on your battlegroup and mimic them. RAWR has its uses, but in order to find the best character compositions in PvP it is impossible to assign a numerical value to it – so mimic someone, figure out which parts of it work best for you and adjust accordingly.

Naturally, making use of the PvP Discussion tabs I link on this site are beneficial as well. Once you have obtained substantial experience in doing something to the extent of being able to understand discussion regarding it, then hitting up these forums/sites will take your game to the next level. Explore things on your own, don’t ever completely take someone else’s word for it without experimentation.

When I was a new 80 guarding nodes in battlegrounds I would just jot down names of players who did particularly well and then Armory them. Given the option to bookmark them if you are logged in is awesome, and to date I have 7 different DK’s that I follow that are always in PvP gear to see how they enchant, gem and what specs they are using. After a Warsong Gulch that I had last night where I did 300k more damage than 2nd highest, I would only hope that someone else is benefiting from my setup as much as I did.

In short, go PvP, watch what other people are doing, gear up similarly to top players and then start reading more into it once you have a general idea of what you’re doing (or just follow this chart!).

The purpose of the below story is to tell our friends in the medical world of

 Wegener Granulomatosis (WG)

Is not just a theory or by the book sickness for us Asian. I believed that this is a strange disease that is hidden in many people, whom in the end my just expire due to the fact that WG is a disease that do not appear by itself. I hope that this can enlighten many people to get to this disease through more careful analysis and use modern technology of blood test. I also hope that we can study the relapse of this disease, or just what a doctor should know before the next knife stroke you cut.  According to Dr. Foo, striking WG is much more difficult than striking Toto first and full prize! Yes based on my situation it look like 4 million to one, however, there should be a lot out there, hidden!

My story of Wegener Granulomatosis (WG).

One day, in August 2006, I was looking at the mirror and saw a sore on my lower right jaw’s gum. As per normal, I used my finger nail to dig it, it split open and did not grow back. I remembered that the part of my gum was a little darker than normal then, anyway it is ok. I just feel a little heaty in the body, so be it. I always say heaty, to us Chinese, heatiness is a term when the internal organ heat up, especially the liver, due to taking certain types of food, like fried food, or excessive food that the body cannot consume through normal metabolism. Next day, I took to the mirror again, wow, it does not heal, and what I dug split open and since then it never heal back. A month or two later, it happened to the lower left jaw. Though I felt strange that it something in me does not heal, I just forget over time.

Jan 2008, I was in Japan and the temperature was just one or two degree Celsius, I was standing on the road side smoking away. Victor Ong came to me and said I am mad, wearing only a long sleeve shirt smoking away, without a jacket or wind breaker. He wondered if I was cold, but I showed him I still have some sweat on my forehead, and it did not come to my mind of anything wrong, as I was all those years fearless of cold. Normally, I do not need even of a long sleeve if the temperature was above 10 degree C.  My friend use to say I am different, those words just passes by.

            May 2008, it was almost summer time in China, and I began to feel heaty, though the weather was still fine, I mean around 25 – 27 degree. This time I began to start to drink cooling tea. I travel on some weekend to my friend, Hu’s place. When I reached there, I just drink some cooling tea and sleep over the week end. Hu told me that I seems to like to sleep for the past one year or so, and I said that I am getting more lazy, not knowing that it was a fact that I get worn out pretty fast nowadays. I was thinking I am getting old, not knowing that actually the body is asking for something, rest and repair.  Since this time, I began to feel that my nose was a little blocked, so the more I continue to drink cooling tea. I wanted to see a doctor to have some medicine, but I hate to see doctor, I found an excuse in July not to see one blaming my traveling schedule. I cannot remember seeing a doctor for normal sickness, as I had not been sick with flu or something like that before. This was beginning to disturb my sleep.

           Nov 2008 was another chance for me to see a doctor for my congested nose during my son Edmund wedding. But then as I rode my motorcycle by the Hougang Polyclinic, there was some renovation going on, so again I need not see a doctor. After the wedding I return to China to work, as days passed the blockage get tighter and breathing get tougher.  Soon a lot of our colleague began to take note of my blocked nose. Sky Liu brought me many bottle of herbal drink (Silver Flower drink), Jackie brought me other herbal soup, and they were heartrendingly concern for me, One day, at the beginning of December, one of our sales engineer Chuang Cheng came and told me that there is a nasal clearing spray which is extremely effective for nasal blockage. I wanted to buy from Singapore but forgotten, that night I immediately bought a set, which cost me RMY86/-, called U Bi. On that night, I applied, and what a relieved for me then. Immediately the swelling in the nose was reduced and I began to breathe freely. That night, I slept well, but I woke up at 3 am, the nose blockage got worst. The second night, the application pattern was the same, now I woke up at 2 am, thing got worse, this time real bad. With a led light, I saw the left nose was not totally blocked, while the right was blocking halfway through. I even saw a crack on the surface, as if the internal of the nose wall is breaking into pieces. The next day, I had to use a cotton wood, pushed into the nose to allow some breathing.   

 Soon, I could not stand it and went to BaoAi Hospital to see a doctor on Dec 12^th. Dr. Yao attended to me, and sends me to the ENT specialist. I was also taken to do the MRI and scanning. A picture of the internal of the nose was also taken. The doctor was shocked to see such swelling and brought long his superior to have a look. As he took a cotton but and touch the inner nose, it just bleed. It was the first time I ever have a bleeding nose. Then he diagnose as normal sinus, a little more serious of course. Looking at him and what he said, I think he had never seen such swelling before. I was given some medicine to take and was told to return when the swelling is gone. This should take 4-5 days. I was also given eye cream, which according to him will be used as antiseptic, to be applied into the nose!

            He told me that with a simple operation of 5-6,000 RMY, and 5-6 days everything will be OK. In my mind, he is just plain over confident, while I had little in him. When I went back I began to ask around like Hu, Mr. Balan and Bernard about this surgery. All advised me to return to Singapore for the operation. Further more, it was winter in China, and even if the operation is successful, I may not be able to take the cold and dryness in the weather then.   On the 14^th I called Elena to book a doctor for me and I immediately book a ticket back on December 17th morning.

Dec 2008, 17^th 3pm was my appointment with Dr. Foo at Mt Alvenia Hospital; he reviewed the picture and the scan I took from China. He then look at my nose, and told me I should let the swell subside and gave me an injection to help to speed down the swelling. I will be back the next day, to be warded for the surgery. I was very happy and anxious that I should have free breathing in a few days time.

So Dec 2008, 18^th  was the surgery day, everything went fine, and the next day I was bandaged at the nose and on the 19, I was out of the hospital to be resting at home. Prior to being out of the hospital, I told Dr. Foo that my right saliva gland is aching and part of my lower tongue had been cut. What Dr. Foo told me was this was pretty normal for ENT, but in my heart, I still think something is wrong. On 22^nd I was review by Foo again.

Though I was home, my nose bleed, little by little daily, but more and more too. On the 28^th I was having coffee in the morning with Hock Joo, but that night, at 4.30 am, the bleeding just flow out. I was sleeping on the sitting position on the sofa, when suddenly blood just oozed out at a very high rate. Within minutes, the whole roll of kitchen sanitary paper was wetted with blood, and it just does not stop. By 5.20 am Choo was awake for work and I think I lost enough blood to weaken me .She brought me to the hospital again. At the emergency the doctor put a plug into my nose to stop the bleeding. I was hospitalized for the second time now, for 2 days.

  Jan 2009 arrives, and now my body seem to be boiling internally daily.  I found strange ulcer which is not ulcer, the gum just began to swell. Jan 2^nd was drizzling, and the rain was heavy with a darken sky, but I went to TCM Ng Whye Teck, I told him about my operation, got some herbal drink which was very effective to cool down the body a little. I also had some powder for the gum. When I return home, I applied the power on the gum. Strangely, the gum is now much darker towards purple colour, and turned porous. As I touch it, blood came out to my finger. The powder is no more effective, where I applied it, where the blood will come out. But there is no pain at all.

Jan 3^RD, both the upper and lower gum gets darker and it was swelling, and just look like rotting bit by bit. I went to see Doc Koh/Liew. He was my regular dentist. Though he saw me without appointment, he refuse to go further, saying he had never see such thing before, and gave me a referral letter to see SGH the next day. I was so pissed off that my dentist reject me, and just went home paying some money. Next day, a Sunday, I visited TCM Doc Lee for some cooling medicine too, I told him of my operation, so he need to give me a medicine that can cool me down but not cause bleeding. This was a tough one for him, and this to condition does contradict in Chinese medicine too. He did give me, and that evening, I had to drink a few glass of sugar cane juice to cool me down, as the medicine though very strong still cannot cool me down.

Jan 5^th, my gum worsen, I went to my mum dentist, old Dr. Cheong, just begged him to take a look. Yes, I scared shit out of the old fellow, who shake his head and told me he cannot help me. But he reviewed me twice, not believing himself, and gave me one of his good medicine. I was terribly sad, as no one know how to help me. Gone case I think. As I stared on the floor of Serangoon Road, my hand phone rang, it was Elena. She just wanted me to meet Dr. Singh. After some argument I agreed. At Mt. Elizabeth, they look at my gum, but have no idea what is it; they call it the straw berry effect, which by dentist standard is a simple problem. As discussion goes, we end up taking about the pain and growth of my saliva gland. They gave me a CT scan and FBT (full blood test). Good Dr. Singh and Dheng called Dr. Foo to inject Fragl (ant-biotic) into my vein to bring down the pain and swell of the growth in the saliva gland.  The next day Dr. Foo wanted to do the injection but I did not pay attention as the pain was terrible and the gum was beginning to rot, and rejected it. No my focus is not only the pain from the swollen gland but the rotting gum.

Then for the 3rd time, on Jan 8^th to Jan 16^th, I was hospitalized again. This time was because of the gum and the pain of the swell of the saliva gland was causing and the nose is bleeding daily too. On the 9^th, was the fist time I saw Dr. Eugene, a friend of Dr. Singh. He looks at me strangely and told me, holding my medical record and said  “I think you have Wegener Gautaumatosis”, I was not shock and asked him to explain in layman term, and he said, “you got a disease with no cure, but can be suppressed” Ooops, I missed the name of WG. He then arranged another doctor to review me if I have leukemia or others like, and have a bone marrow test tomorrow to confirm.   So I got WG, Wegener Gautaumatosis now eh! Hey, by the way, no one was interested of my rotting gum. Each morning, I took a tooth brush with tooth paste, stared at the mirror, I just cannot brush, it is too painful to brush your gum away. I had seen a lot of horror ghost story, and this it that is in me now. As I brush, I brushed away my gum! As I said, no one bothered. Am I possessed?

I am now filled with all kind of pain daily. Blood from the nose is now dripping when it like. One night, I almost stop breathing. At around nine, the swollen gland was so painful, and the nurse injected painkiller on me. It did not help to relieve the pain, but as the nose blood hardened, I began to have problem breathing. By midnight, the nose was totally shut, and I had to breathe through the mouth, but soon the mouth dried up, and got painful too. I continue to use the cotton but to open the nostril. Only until around 6 am did I manage to open up around 1-2 mm opening which allowed me to breathe. Between midnight to 6 am, I was in fact grasping for breath, at around 5.15 am, it almost stopped. I just cannot recall why I did not even call for the nurses to help? Lucky for me, I was a good diver before and was able to control breathing, if not; it was a gone case for me. I was so close to breathing stoppage. KC visited me that morning on Jan 13^th, and I was telling KC, I almost stop breathing last night as all my nose were block with blood flowing and hardening, and I was almost giving up, as gum was rotting at a fast rate now, the pain killer they are injecting into me is no more effective, and for the last two nights I did not sleep a quarter of an hour. He gave me a scolding and told me to hold on, and I am too young to go!  After he left, a doctor told me I need not go for the bone marrow test, and I should be fine. This brightened me a little, though the WG alone is scary enough. Dr. Eugene began to prepare for my WG medication. After a lot of Fragl was pump into me, my saliva gland swell subside a little and I was discharged on 16^th.    

Jan 26^th was Lunar New year. These few days were wonderful. I do not know why but my sense of taste return, maybe 30-40 %, I had three good days. But on the third day, all the senses were gone again. Till today, I am puzzle why the ‘recess’ time to have the sense just for Chinese New Year. However, I end up cooking several dishes for my sibling a few days later. According to them, all my cooking flavours were intact.

On Feb 16^th to 17^th I will be hospitalize to infuse 300 mg of Infliximan, 500 ,g of mehtylprenisolones for 3 consecutive days, 2 doses of Ritumaximab, once I am out I will have oral of Mycophenolate(myfortic) about 720 X 2 per day and 60 mg of prednisolone, and calcium. According to Eugene, these drug he was pumping into me will only react or take effect at least six months later. They are dammed expensive, in fact in the end that occupies about 40% of my total cost to date. However, when the steroid was reduced to 40, my right parotid glands (saliva gland) swell, if I go 60 mg of steroid, I will be over dose!! Look like my body was reacting to my steroid intake.

On 23 Feb, I clocked the 5^th time to be staying in the hospital in 2 months. I had been sleeping for the past 4 days after the infusion and, and when Huang visited me at around lunch time, I was still sleeping. I told her it was very nice to be able to sleep like this and I told her then that having chemo was like that. She thought other wise. Actually I was too weak to wake up. I am so tired and continue to have minor headache. She got me to the hospital where I was ‘locked’ in.  I was having some infection. Again, much medicine was injected into me again. I left the hospital on 26^th, but went back on 27^th to see Doc. HH Tan as I am having problem urinating. I was sent to all sort of tests and nothing was found. I though it was a wasted visit, as I began to realize that I am now well controlled by the amount of steroid in me. Or this was in me a sign of the Wegener being very active.

After being review by Eugene on the 5^th of March, 9^th I was stayed in the hospital for the second infusion. Thing goes well and I brought my first hearing aids with Yang and Hock Joo for $120 instead of $270. However, since then I did not use frequently. I thought it would be wise not to rely on it, or I could easily be dependent on it.  On March 19^th, I changed the Endoxan to Myfortic, as I had begun to have foam in my mouth in the evening, when I was on Endoxan. On this day, the nose still bleeds. On 21st, Florence, Huang and Patricia, we went to Pengarrang. Had a good, but very short trip. I brought back the memory of Lou Han Island when I passed by in Mr. Tan’s boat on the way to Sedeli way back1972-73.

On 23rd, my steroid was reduced, by another 5mg per day, but that night my nose bleed again. Was it due to the consistent headache? Next day was a tough day, as my saliva gland area began to ache, it was a pretty painful day, and I just slept through the whole day. Next day Huang brought me to Nee Soon and the Sinseh prescribe 5 bags full of herbs. On 27^th I was bathing at around 2pm, and the nose just bleed full stream again, I began to panic. I remember I tore a piece of flesh out from deep in the nose.  The dog was barking, while I bleed, I knew there is a visitor, but after a few minutes, the blood stop. Victor was the visitor.

On the March 29^th, the fungus in my mouth was turning real bad. Look like there is no space in the mouth that is not yellow with ulcer. The tongue is colored with greenish blue rings. There was no pain, but look terrible. Next day Huang brought me to Grandeagles hospital to see Eugene. He stopped my oral steroid intake and injected a 10 days steroid for me. I was skeptical of the injection, but the ulcer or the mouth condition was very bad that I had no choice. I also was prescribed medicine to cool down the fungus in the mouth, Diflucan, wow $25 per piece, 3 pieces per day. It was effective then. Eugene told us that he would like the saliva grand out, so he can understand the extend of WG behaving in my body. He thought the swell is causing me great pain and discomfort. But Foo knew the consequences of such operation which will cause drooping face, tried to object or delay. He did tell me that if he operates, he need to cut off 3-4 of the five facial nerves, and should cause a facial disorder and even a floating eye ball.

I went home and slept 2 days, and this time, I just cannot urine again. I work up on April 1^st at 9am and text a birthday wish to Yang. When I went to toilet, I found my face swollen. My eye balls look like popping out, like a goldfish. This time though I cannot urine, I felt no pain, which means my bladder is empty, and my kidneys are not working! I slept another hour and as I took up my phone again, my vision was blurred. I texted to Huang about my condition and asked her to come and fetch me to the hospital. She came quickly, as two days before, both of us did though I might have problem with the steroid injection.  So for the 7^th time, I was warded in into Mt Alvernia hospital. I was immediately put on the catheter when I reach the hospital, and for the next 2-3 hours, nothing happened. It was only until the evening that urine began to flow out. This flow, till the next morning, at least 5-6 litres of urine came out.  I get better the next day, but the saliva gland pain kept increasing, so was the swell. Like a duck egg sticking out of the chin. As per normal, I was given plenty of anti biotic. I recalled Peke visited me on April 5^th. He looked at the ulcer was shock, immediately went out and bought three bottle of bird nest for me. I did take two, it also helps.

On 6^th, the swell of the saliva got worse, and Eugene and Foo arranged me for the CT scan and withdrawal of abscess in the growth for analysis. The result was that I go have a growth, and the reviewing doctor advised I had to be operated. The pain was so bad from the swell, it was quite indescribable. The pain not only came from the swell but also lingers between the scalp and the skull, so every hair I touched my headache appears. Each night the nurse injected pain killer, and it was just no use, the pain just continue. Recalling, I think though these few months the Wegener just continue to attack the right parotid gland. Then the doctor fed me with steroid to solve the pain, and antibiotic to ease the swell, of which both were contradictory. One up and the other down and vise versa .But at this time, some senses returns and so it was the first time in many months that smell was returning, and the first I smell was Pandan cake! So Doc Foo has to operate me against his wishes. He briefed me about the consequence of this operation after math. A drooping face but worse case, my right eye might not be able to shut or even my eyeball could be floating upwards permanently.

April 11^th, the operation taken by Doctor Foo began, and I was wheeled in at 2pm. I waited till 4pm to have the tranquilizer injected as Doc Foo had an emergency operation with him.  I was wheeled out to my ward at around 11 pm. I remember some warm hands of Pat, Florence, Huang and many more grasping me. I know it was terribly cold, I was shivering like hell, and tens of hand grasp me, and I recalled the first word I was mumbling “did the 4D XXXX came out.” All I had was a reply the system it did came out but not the exact number. I remembered all the people, including Helen and Yang etc.  In a short while I got my fifth blanket that I began to warm up, but I was so weak that I just knock off, cold and tired. The whole spectator leaves one by one.

The following night, I had a chance to read Dr. Foo report on the operation.  It was quite scary then he wrote that the nerve beside the ear is ‘black colour’, and the part he cut out was supposed to be cancerous. In fact this was what he told my family when the operation was finished, based on his years of experience. On April 14^th, Foo came. This was the third day from the operation. He was smiling gleefully and asked me, ‘are you a Christian?” I wondered why? He said I just went through what should be a miracle. As based on his experience, I should be preparing for my exit from this world, because the parotid gland look cancerous to him, while all the nerve around had all turn black. He had cut out all the ‘bad’ nerve up to almost the top of the ear, and he could not go further as it could damage the brain. He then took out the blood drainage can from the operation. Next day he gave me a bottle MedNeil for washing my nose, it was real good, more a miracle bottle, almost everything can be cleaned of the nasal cavity. Soon I began to have some effect of the steroid, which means insomnia. By now April 17^th, I dropped to 54.5 kg. Foo also took out some switches. Today is also in four months that I have proper bowel, it is also the fifth month of my first operation and hospitalization entry.  I was discharged from the hospital again.  This seems to be the end of my second chapter of this Wegener.

Relapse or insufficient suppression, I am with WG

April 18^th was a Saturday, and spends the time teaching Florence how to cook chicken rice, good day spent. There was still bleeding of the right nose, and the next day, I spent breakfast with Patricia, and Hock Joo at Hougang Plaza.  I had a tough time walking there. I am quite weak and even have difficulty breathing. I had my pulse rate going around 100 per minute. This time, I dropped another 5 mg of steroid. I began to be hungrier, high pulse rate and slight fever nightly. On the 21^st, I went to KC temple, had a good talk over the phone with Balan, who told me about his Japan visit. By 2pm, I was so tired, and kept sweating though the wind was strong and cooling. KC sent me back home. The next day, I was shacked and tired, laying down the whole day, resting away.  

April 23^rd, I visit Eugene and Foo. I gave a small gift to Dr. Foo, and in return he gave me some strength building Prosure and Ensure milk powder. This milk powder had been good breakfast for me since. Between now and the next few days, nothing in my body was stable. Pulse, headache all went up and down. As my steroid is reduced to 10 in the morning and 5mg in the evening, my pulse rate began to slow down. On April 26^th, I thought Florence how to cook braise duck. She done it well and it turned out very good.

Soon the pain of the surgery began to subside, but it was very difficult to sleep on one side, as the right side was not fully healed yet, still on the healing stage.  April 30^th comes, was a good day, but my hearing get dumber. Eugene wanted to give me the Cyclophosphamide injection but I did not agree as I felt very uncomfortable with consolidated injection, I already had a phobia on this injection that so called will last for a long period. (Reflecting back, this could be a big mistake of me, I presumed) However I switched back to the very expensive Myfortic. My doctor just does not agree that steroid is controlling my body water level, which I insisted. Well that was his theory with my practical. Eugene show the blood test, it was bad, C Reactive protein was 146, and except a 3-4 items, every other indicator was negative.

On May 6^th, I visited Foo, and he did not charge me again. My smell and hearing was returning back little by little. The next day, I visited Eugene, returning home to cook fish porridge with Huang.  Each day comes without any good activity, and the weather was hot.
On 11^th, I went to Changi Fairy Point and did some crabbing. Though it was the first time I walk unaided, it was extremely tiring. Is the WG still so strong in me or the steroid? Or was it just I myself that is very weak from all the stay in the hospital and those infusions. Yes I did catch a couple of crabs and file fishes. The next day, my chest pain, heart pain and breathing was tough. I think I over exerted myself. Still I went around visiting temples. I went to pray to Hua Tao, the god of medicine. I also went to the Tao Temple. On May 13, I had coffee with KC, but by afternoon, I felt that the Changi fishing trip backlash was coming at me, I began to have headache, heart pain, breathing problem and muscle of my thigh aching, and I just went back to sleep in the afternoon.. May 14^th was a knock out day. I reduced steroid to 12.5 mg per day as instructed.  I was already a month away from the operation, but the body was still so unstable. Huang told me to be patience. Well, am I dropping steroids too fast to keep WG at bay?

Between 15 to May 19^{th, I} traveled here and there by bus, even to Chinatown just for lunch showed that I am still too restless. Though tired, but this was the only way to pass time. On 20^th, I went with Patricia and Huang crabbing again. I just slept away while the two do the crabbing. I actually did not have the energy or strength to do the crabbing.  The next day at Eugene, he does not want to drop the steroid for this time.  After Eugene, I went to Bt Batok, Huang friends place to get some Chinese medicine for the liver and stomach. Pretty good medicine I got. It also clam my pluses. Time passed with me sleeping most of the days, seems to be pretty tired, but it is also laziness. On May 28^th, I received a text form Huang that my PR3 went from 170 to 101, good news to me as I will be flying to Shenzhen to visit my friends there. Why fly now was because I do not want to cross a six months barrier of sickness. 

 May 29^th, I reached Shenzhen, though most things are well, I still found strain of blood in the mucus, could it be permanent, or I am still bringing the WG along.  Altitude does play a part, and I turn pretty deaf on the plane, and I cannot hear well till the next day at 5 pm, before some hearing return. I went straight to Tang Xia very tired. For the next few days, there was blood from the nose. On June 1^st, I went to JinXiu JiangNan. Here Neil visited me. Next day, I had headache, took 2 Panadol and went to office. I gave Bernard a shock. He visited me before my April’s operation, now, while I do not know, to him, I look like a very sick man now.  Looking around, everyone was shocked. Some like Eric Zhu do not even recognize me. Till June 3rd, I had headache every morning, so had Panadol daily.  June 4^th, I went with Hu to BaoAi Hospital to visit Doc Yao, she was shocked but happy to see me. I told her I just come to visit her to let her know my condition. She was taken aback as she though I wanted to see her for my slanted mouth. I recalled she said that she can heal my heart condition which was still good, but not your crumbled face.

Next day, I want to Shenzhen Vegetarian Restaurant to meet Jess, Spring, Betty, Neil and wife. Ms. Lam CL was sick while Lucy was occupied with work. We had a good dinner and talk till 9.30 pm, when they wanted me back home to rest. All of them tried to offer me financial help. Jess was asking if I treat here as a daughter, if so why I do not want her help, and all claimed that if am too thin skinned to obtain their help. The fact was that they are still so young and had a family to take care. You would be surprise of the huge amount they offered. Almost all their saving!  Well, Ricky, Balan, Danny, Richard from US, and almost everyone I knew were offering financial aid to me too! On the 7^th, KC and I went for lunch, and after lunch, I moved to Long Hua. This morning, my temperature went to 39 degree Celsius. On 8^th, I went to office, and that evening Steven Lim, Weber and Jonathan treated me dinner, at a roadside Teochew food stall. Next day, I woke up with fever again, but ended up in Tang Xia. On June 11^th, I flew back to Singapore, with Hu sending me to the airport. I began to believe that with the constant fever arriving, I should be very unstable, other than what my mind said otherwise.

Between now and end of June, I went to Pulau Ubin, taking buses here and there, visited sinseh to get medicine for cooling the liver. We also went to Botanical garden with HJ, Patricia, Huang, Florence and Adeline, where I dropped my phone into the pond, and was unable to retrieve it myself. I was still very weak physically, and I still do not notice it. I was still not able to hop a three inches high step! By 18^th, I already dropped steroid to 10mg, at Eugene advice of course. Though I can move around freely, I do not have the strength or power as before, far from normal, properly 40% of my pre-sick days. Thinking to myself, I was playing squash with Richard Wu, Neil and Simon before this happened and non can win me, but now!  I was not able to out walk a post-stroke guy two day ago when I went to Hougang Mall.

July 1^st, I went to Ubin again, this time was to stay a few days there at the end of the durian season. I had my first swim since long ago, on the 2^nd day. There were plenty of durians, and I did tried some, with some flavour. The stay was very pleasant and peaceful, thanks to Florence, Huang and Patricia. After returning to Singapore on 3^rd, I spent almost daily swimming, actually dipping, at Ponggol daily till 6^th.

July 7^th, I flew to Penang. I was strolling happily in the street when Bossing Balan called and told me I have to check out and stayed with him. Finally I agreed and the next morning he came to fetch me. He was shocked looking at me, even though he was mentally prepared, as Ms. Siew Lay had already told him. We went around the north east coast of Penang for a tour. That day I had the first nasi lemak at an Indian stall. We spend a lot of time chit chat, like before. His house was spacious and beautiful semi detached. On the second night, I felt pretty uncomfortable, and had a slight fever. When I woke up in the morning, blood was not flowing well throughout my body, my leg was swollen, very tight muscle, which I found blood is not flowing. I tried walking around the garden, which does help to relieve. In fact there was also blood stain from the nose that morning. That afternoon, after lunch, Mr. Balan brought me for another driving tour with Dr. Mahesh, Mr. Balan son. As the tour went; my body heat began to rise. We went to all the beautiful hill side sceneries, and to where the Penang riches stayed. I already not had been to Penang since 1993 or 94. The place is now so built up, which once was so peacefully serene. As my body heat up, I requested for him to stop at the Botanical Garden and I quickly drank a coconut and pack another one back home. It was a prompt cooler for me. Finally on the 11^th, I returned to Singapore. The stay was good, but was spoiled by my health condition.

Between 12^th to 16^th, I had a lot of exercise in Ponggol Park. I had began to jog, Starting with a hundred metres and incremental of 100 metre per day. I also swim half to an hour per day between 4 pm to 5 pm. By 16^th, my steroid dose come down to 7.5mg per day, but at the same time, my liver AST and ALT goes up to 222 and 462 respectively. Normal should be 40 below.  I was already jogging at 400 meter then.  July 18^th, I visited Dr. Singh. He tried to do something to my teeth, but as I had no more gum, it was so sensitive that he gave up and told me to return a month later, which I did not. On 21^st, I went to the eye hospital, which I had an appointment from Hougang Polyclinic on the 17^th, but the cream they gave me was not suitable. Well, a lot of money was wasted.

Ricky was back in Singapore, on 23^rd, we both went Ubin, just for a cup of tea, not to mentioned that he fall down an got a bad bruise on his knee cap. The morning spent there was so peaceful, both of us like those peaceful environment very much.  When I came back by bus, I got a call from Eugene. He wanted me to be back for another blood test as my liver AST and ALT goes up to 451 and 739 respectively! He sounded puzzled, kept asking if I drank any Chinese medicine, which I denied. On 27^th July, I had another liver scan and on the 30^th, blood test. I was told to stop all medicine, except Fumiciul. On 25^th, Florence told me of a good fruit juice drink from Taiwan. A mixture of apple, orange, bitter gourd plus Yakult all in one. It was a fun drink, as she brought a set of the fruit for me. Huang brought over to me with Adeline juice machine. I not only tried but it soon became my good medicine. For me I found that bitter gourd and apple juice can bring down AST and ALT. Eventually, I am also able to control ulcer of the mouth when I am high on steroid and cycto.   

On August 4^th, Eugene called, and told me that there was some improvement from the blood test. My AST and ALT inches down to 304 and 599 respectively.  I am consuming back the entire medicine and increase steroid to 10mg… Should I tell him the bitter gourd theory? I also founded that I still cannot do a single sit-up at all. The muscle in my body was badly deteriorating and almost gone.  Prior to my sickness, I am doing 28 per minute. It was only till August 11^th, few weeks of trying, that this day, I did 2 sit-ups. Hurray for me.  13^th, I visited Eugene again, and now my AST and ALT dropped to 20 and 27 respectively, and my weight was 57.7. Kg. Personally, I know bitter gourd was the key, reason being that when I drank, I felt less heaty by the day. The next day, I found Danny was here, so I brought him to Hougang for dinner. After sleeping the whole day on the 15^th, next day I spent half a day in Holland with Danny. On 17^th, we went to Changi Village to have lunch at his sister restaurant. After, I dropped him at the 3^rd terminal airport. Incidentally, I also fetch Elena to airport the next day to Bangkok.

September 3^rd, had a review with Eugene and most blood parameter are pretty good. Huang, Patricia and I also went to Hong to discuss the possibility of my facial recovery. My facial feature is now like that of a guy down with stroke and a little worse. The top eye lid received little command, and will close only if I forced it. The lower eye lids slacken downward, as there is no nerve signaling for a pull. The right chin just drops down and slides downwards. The doctor said that have to do fast to ensure good recovery chance, on the first of his few proposals. This was to connect the right side with the left command nerve through the face below the nose, and the nerve may come from one of the limbs. If there is delay, then the right nerve will not be activating. To me, this is out because I do not think my WG will allow this operation as yet. To him, even if he found the nerve, the connection might not work. The Second was to borrow some muscle from the thigh and connect to the lower chin and lift it up. This will only make me look better, and the right face still will not move. He also talked about putting a gold weight on the upper eye lid to close it better. Such operation will cost S$18,000/-. A good lesson learnt from him, but not for me now, as physical and financial does not permit. As of now, the right ear still does not hear well, something like 30% poorer than the left, but is improving. Sense of taste is poor too, as half the tongue is not ‘functioning’. Smell is even worst, still cannot smell anything, unless thing are as close to touching the nose. Even so, not much thing smells the same, as some nodes of smell were gone.

September 9^th, once again I end up in China. The purpose of this trip was to see if I can take the change of weather from summer to autumn, which will take place during this time frame. The weather will get dryer and if weather my nose can take it. Secondly, of course was to meet my friends there and then thirdly to see if I will have problem working again.  On the flight there, I began to find my urinating problem coming back, which actually was lingering around me for a month or so ago. I recalled I told Eugene, but he said “Again, is it? ‘And smile with me returning his smile. I told KC about it, but took no notice. Few days later, I told Danny that other than urine problem, other things seems fine with me, but  he said do not worry, but I knew something tough is coming again.

            Situation get worse by the day, and now the call of urinating was about an hour, and it is getting more and more painful. I just cannot control at all. Once the bladder gave a call to go toilet, I just get in, the body will have automatic push but the valve is shutting tighter by the day. On the third day of arrival, I called Huang and she prescribed some herbs with barley, I drank daily, but it did not work. On Sept 20^th I went to BaoAi hospital. After scanning and bacteria test, they found minor inflammation of the prostrate gland and small amount of bacterial or white blood cells in the urine. The doctor to him, it was a small matter, and gave me some pills to take. I will also have to go to the clinic for some cleansing of bacterial through a heating machine. The medicine did help but only for the first and second day, and from then on, the pain grew, the valve shut smaller, and it was like laying a durian during urinating. Now normal medicine again cannot work, I began to suspect the Wegener is now closer with me! .I told myself, if it does come, I will return to have my hair cut to the shortest, at my 14 years old length ( yes, I did , and today I am wearing this short cut).

            I tried to bear with the pain; the worst was that now I cannot even sleep at all, as the bladder call had now reduced to between 30 to 45 minutes. I had a lot of trouble having dinner with any one, because I have to be seating beside a toilet, and pop, suddenly I will be going to toilet. By 27^th, I began to feel pretty helpless, because I do not know what to do, and I tried for four days taking 10mg of steroid per day. I do not have the stock or guts, I think if I did continue to increase the steroid, I think things could improve.

Sebastian brought me to a local hospital on this Saturday, but it was so crowded that we went back immediately after paying 1 RMY fee. It was only the next day I visited BoaAi again. Another doctor saw me, and he prescribed almost similar medicine as the first one, Cardura and now with Ciprogloxacin Hydrochloride, both are controlled release tablets for the prostrate problem. They also added some herbal tablet, which was anti bacterial for the bladder. In fact the doctors there are pretty good and sharp. It was just that I cannot tolerate their style and behavior. By the way, they are not cheap too. They charged me a total of around 3K RMY which is about S$500 for both.

            As time goes, it got worst. I called Balan, whom I knew is going with the prostrate medicine and he told me to drink a lot of water if I do have prostrate problem. So now Bossing Balan gave me another problematic idea. If I drink a lot of water, urinating frequency will increase, as the bladder seems getting smaller, if I do not drink more, under prostrate problem, the urethra may dry up and get smaller, I got to chose. Simply every norm does not work. When the bladder calls for me to urine, I just go to the urine. I have no control over the urinating process. Then the back muscle will compress. The body will exert pressure around the kidney region. Soon the strength of the pressure will rise to the head area, and then to the eyes, as if it is going to squeeze out the eyes. Eventually the pressure will reach the nose. This will be one full cycle, but nothing comes out, or I would say at most some drips. The more I cannot urine, the more the frequency increased. On the last two days prior to my flight back, I was practically staying the whole night in the toilet. It caused a lot of pain at the backbone area, and after a trip to toilet, I get so tired like running a few kilometers, panting for breath. I began to be shaken out. At the same time, my nose bleeding increased a little, by now almost have a drip of blood per night and I began to lose the sense of smell by almost a third of what I preciously had.   

            I continue to take the medicine, and two days later, situation just continued to deteriorate. I began to find a way to change my flight back. Sebastian helped, and I manage to get the flight on 8^th. KC was talking to me over the phone, and he had to rush back earlier than me, as his father was critically ill. I told him I may be able to take the delay. I began to call Huang to help me book an urologist, she did, on the 9^th for me, just nice, but to me it would be better every minute, which mean morning instead of afternoon. This time it is Dr, Tan Kok Peng.

 So on 8^th of Oct, I flew back to Singapore, into another twilight zone episode of Wegener.

            The flight back was tough for me; I occupied one of the two Silk Air toilets through out the flight. Now the frequency to toilet is half and hour, while I still need to spend 15 minutes in it. I just did not sleep well for the past few days, just cat nap throughout the period. That night, I tried to take sleeping pill to sleep. But it got worst, when the bladder called, and the prostrate just shut. That night, it was so painful that I had a whole toilet roll torn into pieces with my bare hand. Again, I did not sleep, and the next day I went to see Dr. Tan. Huang showed him the scan from China. He tried understanding it while Huang explained the Chinese document I brought from Chinese to English. He prescribed some medicine for me, and he put the catheter. I was pretty happy at least I had some relieve. After waiting at the lobby for about 10 minutes, suddenly, I began to feel the pain rushing at me at the lower abdomen. It was quite bad, I began to have cold sweat, Dr. Tan quickly brought me into his room again and took out the catheter, and the pain still grew. He quickly took out a pain killer and insert into the anus, and I was rolling around with pain. It took another 10 minutes for the pain to subside, and he stared at me. Then everything was normal again, and it seems nothing had happened at all before this! So we just went home with the medicine. I go a feeling that the whole urinary channel is not swollen or inflamed.  

            So going home was going back to square one. Again, I cannot urine once I reached home. That next night again I cannot take it, and Choo brought me to the hospital again. The A&E doctor put back the catheter for me again. On 15^th, I went back to relieve the catheter in the morning at Dr. Tan place. In the afternoon, KC brought me back to Tan to check urine, I did passed out around 110 cc, but had a residue of more that 100 cc in the bladder upon scanning. To the urologist, this retention volume is still too high. As such Dr. Tan put back another and told me it will be for at least 2 weeks. He told me that I am having so much stress that I cannot urine. He does not think I have other problem at all, even a urine problem. On Oct 29^th, the catheter was taken out in the morning. Later we visited Eugene, he told me the blood parameter was a little out, and could be due to my urine problem( actually is the other way round), but he said he would like to monitor for another month when I get better with the urine issue. After lunch I went back for bladder residue check with Dr. Tan. Passed out 200, residue below 100 milliliter, I passed and return home. But urinating was still a painful work, and the volume was still small with frequency improving very little. We are supposed to meet a month later.

            Oct 30^th, I just wanted the morning to come faster than it was. I waited till around 8am, and got my self dressed, and went to take a taxi to the hospital. I wanted him to put the catheter back!! I did not sleep last night at all. Who said Singapore taxi is not making money.  For one and a half hour I just cannot stop one, I even do service call, but could not get a reply even. I knew most of the drivers were hanging around coffee shop. By the time I got one, it was already around 11 am.  Choo was there before me, and Doc. Tan quickly put a tube in to withdraw the urine content. Now the pain is no more at the bladder but the channel below the bladder, the feeling of the whole duct swollen. Dr. Tan told Choo that in his mind, I am too sensitive and too stressed, that physiologically I cannot piss. He kept telling me to whistle while pissing. To me, I am thinking I had been urinating since year one, why this problem now. I thought it would be easier if he cut out my prostrate. He thought otherwise, Lucky me, I had Dr. Tan, he did not knife me. Come to think of it, most professional do not like to do surgery as they are well aware of the damages it causes.

            Now, for the 8^th time, I am warded again, as Dr Tan had seen me and decided I should not be going home. I was fixed with catheter again for the next few days. There was no medicine except some relaxant and anti-biotic. Three days later, they found the urine I had dose have a Pseudo bacteria, called Pseudomas aeruginosa, 100,000 per ml!

 So Dr. Tan immediately changed the anti biotic for me. I got well very fast with the new antibiotic. On the second night, HJ and Edmund visited me, and I was complaining that the air was dry, Edmund went out to get me a bottle of plain Vaseline, I applied, within 2 minutes, I began to sneeze, and droplets of water came out of the nose, and that night, after a few sneezes, my nose bleed, about a tea spoonful of blood. Here it comes. As I knew, WG is very sensitive to anything except water, applied into the nostril. The next 3 days, the catheter was taken out and I was able to urine myself, but at slow and still painful paste. My residue of bladder content was measured and Dr. Tan found I was well enough, and on Nov 4^th, I was sent home, with the same medicine.

            I knew I had already damaged my bladder, or even the whole urinary channel. So were my eyes, kidney, nose etc.  It was still not easy, but I had to try, as the impression from my sister with the influence from Tan, or they also had in their mind, still thought I am full of stress, which is the main cause of my trouble. To me, I think it should be at least 50/50, 50 stress, from where I do not know, and 50 from real sickness. So I spent another week of poor sleep, again the call of bladder is now an hour or less throughout day and night. Strangely, as night passes, my nose began to drip blood around midnight to 2 am, each night, more and more. On Nov 10^th, I was shocked when I woke up and found that my left lower eye lid, half the nose, half the left upper lip and upper left jawbone were numb! The feeling was like going for a tooth extraction and after the doctor injected the anesthesia, the dumbness refuse to go away. I also felt that the left eye becomes very red and dry. Huang acupunctured me, but there was no relieve. Each day it got worse, and on Friday, I had no choice but I went to Hougang Polyclinic to see a doctor. The nice young Malay doctor was so patience with me as now my hearing was deteriorating. He tested me for stroke. I was found to be normal but he still arranged me an appointment at TTSH Neurology to test my facial numbness, on 16^th Nov, the coming Monday. I was also given some eye drops and vitamin E pill for my numbness and I returned home. By now my eye white is turning very red.  I was so happy and relieved that I really seen a doctor myself and for the doctor to arrange for me to visit the neurology, of which I can be there to see what else the neurology can help to expose my WG which I had been suspecting all the while, but dare not voice out. .

            Now the bleeding of the nose gets pretty consistent, nightly, with incremental volume. We visited Dr. Foo on Nov 12^th. We had a nice conversation of the to and fro of my traveling. He scoped the nasal cavity for me. He found some blood, and unsuspecting of any undoing of my previous illness, he told me I should be OK, and then he prescribe me with a week of anti biotic pill, Enchanic, and Encodine, to clear the internal cavities. (Coincidentally, the first visit to MT. Alvernia was Dec 17 2008, and the last to Mt. Alvernia was Nov 12^th Dec 2009, the first and last)

                        The night was tough for me, urine problem grew, and the eyes was giving another problem, the numbness of the face another one, the next morning Nov 14^th , I went to Cheah Family clinic to see the doctor again for my eye. What Polyclinic gave was just eye drop. In Cheah, which I did visited him once for sore eyes, and his medicine works. This time round, he gave me eye drops, but it did not work. My eye white had turned blood red by now, the nigh I was just waiting for the morning to come fast. Then come Monday, I went to TTSH. Attending to me was Dr. Sim Siew Hung. Since I had WG, nowadays, I had to spend some time explaining to her I had WG. She was very attentive, and also asked why my eye was so red, but I wanted her to help to arrange to let me see an eye doctor soonest possible. She then checked me for stroke again, and found nothing wrong with me. She then had me go for a full blood test, with ANCA c and PR3, C reactive protein, ESR and FBT …etc, most of the WG critical parameters. I think she does know quickly a lot about WG. She then help and arranged for me to see an eye doctor the next day, while I have to return to see her on Thursday. What a great relieve for me when I saw what she wanted in the blood test requirement.

                        The next day, I return to see the eye doctor. Again I had to explain about my Wegener. Dr. Ho Su Ling listened patiently. The checking of the eye took pretty long. Next I was given anti-biotic eye drop and steroid eye drop too. So, now I had to be with steroid on whatever sickness I had. I was told that there were little white patches of bacteria in the eye ball. She told me to be back on Nov 19^th.  I was also arranged for MRI, this will be able to find out any problem with my nerve for the numbness and my sever headache. While I was returning home, I got a call from TTSH Neurology. They wanted me to return the next day instead of Thursday. Well, I think something was not right at the brewing.   

                        The next day, 18^th Nov, my eyes got better, and but I visited Neurology Dr. Sim again. Here after some discussion, especially my headache, she blamed it on my ‘sinus’ problem as shown in the MRI report. But I insisted that my headache was well before… To me, the nostril cavity was filled with blood. The volume of blood from the past few nights was around two to three table spoonful per night, and was getting worse. I knew this blood flow is not a simple nose bleeding issue.  To them as long as it is seen in the MRI, it will be so.  The blood test result was not good, I cannot recall but the ESR and C protein was bad. I kept asking for PR3 and c ANCA. But the result was not out, and through these two months, this was only what I was interested.  As far as Eugene told me in the whole of Singapore there is only one analyzer for PR3 and c ANCA, which will run on every Thursday, and today is only Wednesday.  After a while, Dr. Sim decided to ward me in to the 9^th hospitalization for me! She felt that I am in a serious state enough that I could be required to return every other day for various test. So I was sent to Ward 9D, bed 127. I was also arranged to meet the ENT for my block nose too. She may transfer me to the charge of the Immunology Department.

Enter the Relapse of Wegener Granulomatosis (WG)

Nov 18th night, I was in the ward, not knowing what next. The amah even refuses to give me water, because there was no indicator on my bed. . I was not having medicine except those I brought from home from Eugene.  The following day, I began to have a lot of visitors, especially from Neurology final year student of Doctor Long. They were very interested in my post surgery face features. They need to know what will happen if the nerve is gone. Then met Dr. Tan Teck Choong of the Immunology department. We talked over more than half and hour, with few other doctors around. The few Neurology doctor began to review my numbness problem, trying to establish if I have stroke. But by now, my condition continued to worsen. My nose began to bleed more. Each time if it bleeds, I will sneeze, and it will flow out of my nose, or the other way round.  Some rashes on my face began to grow, and refuse to work with the normal drugs any more, even Dermovate, which is low steroid based, and I was using for at least 8-9 years. My face began to swell and turn reddish. Many joints, like my ankle or wrist began to ache. It is just like everything was falling apart in the body. The worst was a headache that was 24 hours bumping non stop. I remembered two weeks ago Patricia asked me if the headache was similar to those I had before, she sounded like she was trying to relate something. At first I said no, till few days later, did I remember it was the same. The severity, frequency and timing, all the same. 

On Friday morning Nov 20th, Dr. Justina and team visited me very early. They checked my derexity again, and while she was recording on the computer we discussed and she told me that my PR3 result came out and was way out at 150 now. Wow, this was bad. She began to prepare me for infusion of medicine for this WG. That afternoon I was wheel chaired to the ENT. The Doctor, SW Ng was very joyful, and he was wondering why I was there, as I told him he was to, but I will clean up my nasal cavity myself. He gave me a nasal spray, which I will not use. By evening, the infusion began. I was infused with 800 mg of cyto-toxin, IV cyclophosphamide, and 3 days of 60 mg of Prednislone of and a day of IV Methylpred 500 mg OM.  The following day, I was already put on oral steroid of 60 my and anti-biotic, followed by cyclophosphamide of 50mg too.

            On Saturday evening, another doctor from Neurology came to extract spinal fluid. They want to check if I had any bacteria attacking my brain or nervous system, that could cause those sever headache. The extrusion at the lower spinal cord was supposed to be very painful. The whole thing lasted less that 20 minutes, and the doctor was surprised that I did not move with the pain. But I told her that my headache was much worst, so I did not feel any pain at all. By Sunday, some pain were gone, rashes subside, swollen face no more. Yes, the drugs work, it means the Wegener did return as I feared and sensed in the middle of September. On Monday, I was visited by Dr Bernard Thong the senior consultant for the immunology department, and the team though has very little experience with people having WG (or may not have), they are very systematic and professional. Each move was well measured and taken. I was to be discharge on Tuesday, but now I was arranged to Neurology to be screened again on Tues, so I will be out by Wednesday. At the neurology, I was fixed with a couple of wires, and about an hour of test, nothing wrong was found in me. As I returned, alike any other day, another batch of final year medical student arrived. They asked question, work on my face. It was fun way of occupying me then.

Just the next day, Nov 26^th, I was in the coffee shop at Block 309 Hougang already. Recovery had been fast up and down. Ricky was with me and Choo, followed by KC. This time round, I found that my taste had improve at least 10 %, and I drank my first coffee black from months of abstains ion due to poor taste. With this stay, I found I am much more mentally ready, though physically weaker. I was also happy that the cost was now much lower too. Now I had higher confidence, such like another few guys know WG as compared to my fear before.  I was also very happy with every one there, from clerk to consultant, all of them are very helpful, caring and nice.

 On Dec 1^st, I returned to TTSH to be reviewed by Dr. Tan Teck Choong. My C Reactive Protein was 9.9 as compared to normal person of 5, was the best since blood test of such was taken this January. ESR was 39, compared to normal of 30.  Other blood parameters were relatively good. I showed him the pimples coming out of my back, and immediately Dr. Bernard the senior consultant reduced my steroid from 60mg per day to 50 per day. I also advised them that my stool has a lot of blood, all due to steroid. Most of what I mention was recorded, and look like to them, all are relatively new. I also request him to give me a c ANCA and PR3 test every 2 months, of which we finally agree to 3 months.  I will be returning on Dec 23 for review.

 Dec 3^rd, I went for review with the Eye doctor and same, the result was good, but Dr. Alvin Lim told me I cannot stop the steroid immediately but just had to step down like 4 drops per day to 3 to 2 to 1 drop per day, within a month. This is the problem with steroid. With Dr. Alvin and Ho, we had a good talk on the WG. Look like Dr. Alvin is pretty studied on WG too. He was mentioning about cycto infusion during my second visit.  I am to review with them in two months time.  Going over to the ENT doctor, I told him why I did not use any of the drug he prescribed, he was smiling, accept my idea and told me patient know best. Again we discuss a little about the WG, and I had to review with him in 3 months time.

Aftermaths

After a week of steroid, my weight went up to 58.5 kg, and is still going up, as appetite is terrible good, even though the stomach was full. Today is Dec 18, and after a month of this WG suppression at the Tan Tock Seng Hospital, I think I am handling this WG sickness much better. Today is also a year since I had my nose operation, ending one year of agony and pain.  Today I will give my sisters and family a treat. Sorry I cannot give a treat to everyone for their care. Physiologically I am now more prepared, and I do not think I want to fight with the quantity of medicine prescribed like before. 

For now, each day, I will have headache from around 2 am to 10 am, this is when the steroid has lesser power. I took my steroid at 7 am every morning. I will be seeing blood in the stool daily till steroid reduced to below 20mg per day, and I do not know when this time round, will the doctor reduce the volume of Prenisolone. I can ask, but will not insist a reduction like before. Between 1 pm to 5 pm, I will be very tired and panting for breath as the cyclophosphamide began to work. I will have insomnia and every square inch of my back, now spreading to the front belly is filled with pimples. This will only disappear when steroid drop below 5mg per day. I will be eating non stop till steroid goes below 20mg per day, and now my face will be round and my belly will be like a pear. I will also find my skin and the body not sticking together. I can peel the skin out exactly like a cook potato skin.

WG is not a local, then why I have it?  I think it is more common than many doctor thinks. Each time I talked to a doctor about WG, they say it is a theory sickness for us Asian. I got a feeling that not many can survive to tell a story to help out any future victim. If I did not meet Dr. Eugene, or Dr. Foo, there will be no story today. Or if I did not go to TTSH, this story would be half way, but not sent out. Based on the way it destroyed my gum, it could just take 10 days or so to destroy any kidney or liver, ending up with doctors diagnosing as other sickness.

By the way, do take a lot of calcium; for steroid just dissolves your bone and muscle at a speed you actually can feel it. Then, ensure you do a lot of exercise. You will tend to be very lazy due to the mental torture of this sickness with physical slackening during a long stay at the hospital, and unless you do a lot of moving and walking, your insomnia is going to disturb you a lot too. So exercising helps to build you up and tired you down to have some proper sleep. Also as there will be a lot of medicine in you, it weakened you very fast. Like my April stay of 17 day, ended me almost not able to walk when I was discharged.   

An advice for Doctors pertaining to WG.

To me, a few front line doctors that is crucial to this disease, the dentist and the ENT doctor and for me the Urologist too. Watch for the gum, when it does not heal. Watch for the nose, when it bleeds without stop. Watch for the urinary problem when it does not react to medicine. For ENT doctor, do not operate if swelling does not subside!  For the dentist, if the gum does not heal, For the Urologist, not to operate if medicine is not helping. Even for a normal doctor if you have a guy the seldom or never sick at all with normal flu, watch out. He might have an immune system too strong.  Please arrange patient for the ESR, C Reactive Protein, c ANCA and PR3 blood test. It may delay a few days and cost a few dollars more, but is sure going to help, like wise, I am alive today. 

Living to tell this story is not easy. Imaging having headache throughout the year, and all your love one from near and far worried, rushing to hospital to see you, and try to make you happy while you just cannot concentrate on their jokes. All the people following you around to doctors, visiting you in the hospital, and everyone busy on you. Financially you will be torn down. Physically, you only have the mind and the bones standing. Today, I am retuning to square one on my treatment, of course hoping the WG would not make any more relapse for a long long time to come. I just do not know how to thanks the so many people with me, but thanks.

My next appointment will be Dec 23^rd, by then I should know better what the next thing I have to do is. As Florence mentioned, “what cause a relapse”. If the origin is yet to be known, I believe relapse as puzzling. I feel the WG is already with me, so it occupied 30%, another 30% could be environmental, including stress, work and weather. When the weather change, my nose have problem. The other 30-40% of a relapse if any should be from our intake of food. My life time experience of ‘heatiness’ means food does cause problem, significantly to the liver, AST and ALT. I will spend some time to study this and let you know. I do have an idea to study it. I think Dr. Tan TC will help by letting me have the blood result monthly.

Until Dec 23^rd 2009 to update, that all for now.

END

Sign that you may have WG in you.

Gum that swell, change to darker colour and does not heal

Not scared of cold weather

Nose is block or congested for a long duration

Heatiness that does not cool

Anti oxidant is useless

When normal medicine just do not work

When you normally do not fall sick when other are sneezing away,

When your nose start to bleed more and more volume at higher frequency.

When it comes or Return.

So now I know that when the WG comes, it will hide behind something else. Well published document, easily obtained from the records is the nose. Like me, with a congested nose, looking like a normal sinus problem even through the eyes of many specialists, but once operated on, the WG lid just blew up. Nose will also bleed when the seriousness increased, and volume of blood drip out will increase with the severity. Secondly is the gum, it rots away like shown in the horror movie. Dentist may find the purple gum too scary to look at, like a rotten strawberry, but is it also a sign of WG coming. But now that my operated nose is bigger, it is not going to be noticed if it hides behind the nose.
            At times some nerves or nodes will be painful at almost the same time too. One other symptom is the strange ever lasting headache. Dr. Tan PK told me I had migraine. The pain is every corner of the head, and the position of pain shift as days goes by, starting at the inner left lope to the back then the front and eventually in between the scalp and the skull, will also be the last position, where till you touch a hair and have a severe headache.

I had bladder or urinary problem 3 times, and each time WG was with me, at a high PR3. Each time medicine does not work and it just will one day disappear, when Steroid or Cyto began to work. Only now after months of bladder and urinary problem that my bladder began not to hurt! I hope it heal fast, as cyctophoshamite one serious side effect is cancer of the bladder, oops, got to be fast to have the strength to sustain the onslaught of those drugs. Certain time, joints can be painful, those cold shoulder, old sprain points that was ‘cured’ 20 years ago will suddenly appear over night. Rashes will also not react to the normal medicine.

Advise to Surgeon/ doctors again:

Do not operate if any swelling does not subside.

Persistent and difficult to describe headache for weeks.

Body refuses to react to normal drug.

Body refuses to react to anti-oxidant.

For nose, when it swell when react to any nasal spray, except pure saline.

Please send patient for a c ANCA test and PR3 blood test, you just need to wait for a few more days to confirm. Basically, once the WG attacked, it is only a matter of 7-10 days when you just expire. As I mentioned, the WG will caused the operated part not to merge, or heal. If will open up the wound after a few days as and when it like, without warning.

Sign of Relapse:

Urinating: It can hide in the urinating system. I had three times with it come hidden in a form of urinating problem. Either you cannot urinate, or it stops the kidney from generating urine. This can last for around 2 months. The last I had come in late August and till it comes in full blown in November. Thus it means this Wegener comes pretty slow and does give a lot of signal that it is coming back. Maybe I was still on a daily dose of 5mg of Predinsolone and Myfortic. However, if the urologist is not experience, and operate upon your complain of block and pain, you could die in the operation where I assume the bleeding will not stop as the wound will not heal due to the Wegener !

Rashes grow: those rashes that you ever use steroid to heal will return and it gets wider by the day. In the past you may just wash, apply some cream and it is ok, but this time round, it reappear every other day, and cannot subside. Also those rashes, they called butterfly, around the nose, look swollen as compared to just redden patches as per normal.

Sever headache: The headache comes pretty terrifying. The pain for me started in the left lope at the back of the head, then it move to the real back, then to the front in between the eyes. Eventually it traveled to the temple. There is just in a matter of a week or two. Soon it goes back to the back of the head.   Finally, it ended up stranger, in between the skull and the scalp of the head. This means if you touch your hair, just one there is severe headache. This pain arrives periodically though the whole day, and worst for me is after around 6-7pm, and will last till 3-4 am but most of the time , though out the 24 hours, more or less. 

Certain places of body get numb: there will be patches of the body that numbness will come. As it comes, today may be the first three fingers of the left hand, but tomorrow could be the toes. This time it activated me to see a doctor is I was woke up to find a facial numbness (L V2-3 x 1/52), without pain, supposed to be control by the 5^th nerve. . As I knew, if it strikes the area, in the future, the numbness could reduce, but will stay, it does not fully heal, I think the nerve there will be gone.  For how long I do not know, but till now, most had been with me ever since. So if this WG strike you a few times, you can expect many area of you body to be numb forever, so as big an area as 5 square inches.

Pain comes from every corner and cannot subside: Beside numbness, pain. I found that as the WG get worst in term of PR3 figure, maybe 150 RU/ml, those in the joints pain that occur to me 15 to 20 years ago will suddenly return over night. For example those gout and cold shoulder can suddenly return over night, and then disappear in a day or two. This terrible as you woke up and found pain all over.

Heatiness that cannot cool down: Well as Asian, heatiness. I for one had not ever seen a doctor for flu, but I do see doctor for heatiness. Which means my body is burning up internally due to taking fried food too frequently or having excessive food than my body required. The breathing get tight and the nose get blocked. What we normally do is to get some cooling tea or herbs (I think western doctor call anti-oxidant). The more bitter the better. In a day or two the body will cool down and I get better again. However, as the WG PR3 rise or relapse, how much cooling tea is no more useful. I first experience, I drank all sort of bitter cooling tea for 4-5 months non stop, and it just do not cool me down, till I went for my nose operation.  Come to think of it, for a normal person, he would be over cool and cannot even walk, as the knee should be soften too much by the tea.

Nose bleed: this is the last and final signal WG gave. As the urgent and most crucial signal comes, about 3 weeks prior to “dangerous/serious (D/S)’, the nose which mine was operated, the one year old wound began to bleed. Three weeks before D/S, we find spec of blood in our flam. Soon it just get bigger or more, and about 10 days before D/S, I get 3-4 drips of blood. Just a week before, I can say if began to flow out by the spoonful. Most flow happen in the middle of the night. I sense the head ache began to grow, and suddenly the blood will ooze out of the nose, by now about a table spoonful, and it will just stop as it come suddenly. Once this pattern comes, it will be almost uncontrollable. Maybe the end of you.

Medication and Monitoring and Suppression

This could be because I am still on daily 5mg of steroid maintenance. Looking at it unless we suppressed the Wegener, till the PR3 reading goes closer to 60 as compared to below 20 as with normal people, 5mg could be too little too fast as maintenance. I started 60mg on February, but by July 25^th I was already on 5mg. All the while I wanted the steroid to be reduced as soon as possible. This could be a failure for me. I am not at ease with drug, so when doctor prescribed me with drug, I just resist. By now, I also know when I can move around freely. My best guess is my PR3 should be around 60 or 50 if I want to travel freely. Last I moved was when my PR3 was 101, and C Protein was above 30 (normal is 5 and below). Recalling I did not have a two weeks of comfort range, having up and down through out the whole year. In all it means all this while, the WG was hanging in me, floating up and down depending on my stress, environment and food to allow it crossing the limit.  So relapse may not be the word, but insufficient suppression should be the real thing happening to me.

Today I even do not have full hearing, but is improving. Shampoo does not smell like shampoo, but some new smell to me. But is improving. Taste, there are considerable amount of taste butt lost, but is improving too. Everything is improving.

Cyclophosphamide is one of the drug cocktails I had to live with. According to Dr. Eugene, 50 mg for me is not sufficient, on the other hand 100mg seem too much for me. However, this slow reactive drug does cause me some trouble. The first time I had taken it, I used to foam like a washing machine in the evening. This is the reason I switch to Myfotic. Dr. Eugene told me to be very careful of the liver AST/ALT when I am on this drug.

Steroid Prednisolone is a destroyer but a saver to me. Once you are on, you cannot get away. There is no immediate withdraw but just stepping down. The side effect is many and difficult to deal with. Upon over dose, the whole mouth could be flooded with ulcer. I was lucky second time. There will be a lot of blood in the stool. One should ensure to take calcium when you are on this steroid. On the first one two weeks of taking Prednisolone, you can start to feel or hear your bone joints cracking up. You can hear many part of the body making noise as it dissolves your bone pretty fast. 

Bitter gourd, orange and apple juice is the concoction I used to suppress such ulcer coming up. In the past Nystatin(Mycostatin) was used to suppress the ulcer. This time I will use 2 apples, one orange and 150-200 grams of bitter gourd, juice it and drink. So far since the relapse I do not have ulcer coming up, thank to Florence idea from her tour of Taiwan. For every 10 days, I will need to concord three days of it.  Once a while the throat may ache, and this is when the juice comes in and I might use the Nystatin at nigh before I sleep, but this time round, much lesser frequency, about 1/10 lesser.

Blood test :  I suggest that blood test for the below few parameters should be taken at least once every 2-3 months instead of every six month as prescribe in the book .Yes, it was six month, but then technology was low, but I think it is too long. c ANCA and PR3 is a new test, but by my experience, it is a key indicator of any WG relapse or measurement, so please 2-3 month. Moreover, it is not expensive if taken together with other test.

            They are c ANCA, PR3, ESR, C reactive protein.

Very Special Thanks to:

Patricia, Huang, Florence, Choo

Special Thanks to:

Danny Yeo , Bernard , Steven Lim, KC Loh, Ricky

Dr. Foo Toon Hiong, ENT Mt.Alvernia

Dr. Eugene Lim, Immunology, Mt. Alvenia

Dr. Tan Peng Kok, Urology, Mt. Alvernia

D. Abdul of Hougang Polyclinic

Dr. Sim Siew Hung TTSH Neuro

Dr. Tan Teck Choong TTSH RAI

Dr, Justina Tan  RAI

Dr. Bernard Thong RAI

Dr. Ho TTSH Eye

Dr. Alvin Lim Wee Tiak TTSH Eye

Dr. NG  SW, TTSH ENT

Nurses of Mt. Alvernia

Nurses of TTSH W9D

Andrew Lim

My Blood Test Records

Reviewing the above, there are three crucial points to look for other than the c ANCA which is not indicated here. To me these four parameters are the most crucial when monitoring the WG strength.  First is the C-Reactive Protein. The best was on Dec 1^st 2009. Other than that the other lowest was 14.9 on 16^th July. The norm is below 5. Second was ESR, on the same date, was 15 at the best against the norm of 30 below. . Then the third was PR3 at 101, around the timing region, versus the norm of below 20. Was the period of end July to mid August my best time? I recalled it should be. I recalled by the end of August I began to find places that were closer to toilet, as I began to feel somewhat irritating. What is puzzling was that period was also when my ALT and AST at their worst. So as per most doctor advises, the cocktail of drugs for the Wegener have very slow delay effect. Which means it is not the WYSIWYG, it is going to come earlier or later then result shows. It can be said that it can be like chasing after a shadow.

We may be easily distracted by the falsehood of these WG, where it hides in other aspect of health, and appear at the last minutes, significantly appearing when my nose started to bleed!  I for one, would try not to let this WG relapse again. It was a full year of pain for me. Pain is descriptive, not measurable, but equating a toothache, I prefer to take a few toothaches at a time, rather than the pain caused by this Wegener Granulomatosis for a day.

Ending so far.. Dec18 2009

The Writer

            Andrew Lim, born August 1955 at 793-G Florence Road, which became 6C, Lorong Tombong. On 1970, moved to 205F Ponggol 17^th Avenue, then to Blk 5 Lorong Buang Kok and at last now to Hougang, listed as Pasir Ris, Bedok, but actually some where on the old Ponggol Rd, we called 7 ½ milestone . The last time I remember I was sick, was in Primary 4 or 5, when my mother carried me on a bicycle to Serangoon Clinic for a fever injection. I was not sick for flu, but heatiness. Each time my metabolic was not able to burn the amount of food I take or over eating of heaty food, I will find myself burn to ‘sickness’, never hit by flu.  So since I can remember, I had not been to see a doctor for flu. Yes, I did go for oncology, cutting of growth like corn, but never flu. I even had once with a kidney stone, the crystallite type, which after few weeks of pain passed it out myself, as x-ray cannot detect. I do not easily eat any medicine, normally I see a doctor, returning home not satisfied, will immediately throw all medicines away. In fact it was my claim of my flu-less well being that had partially led Dr. Eugene to diagnose me with this disease before the blood test result was out.  My best medicine had been all sorts of cooling tea. Rarely western medicine, not even Panadol.  Is this that I am born with Wegener?   

            I am also very kiasu since young. I am hyper active so I am very poor in my study. So since I left school, I had a fear of failure, because I failed all over the schooling years. So I began to challenge each time something that people are struggling to do. So from 1976, after I left the army without an occupation, unlike the rest of my friends, I set my mind that if you can do, I will be better. So since the mid 70’s I cannot fail in what I set to do, this became my life motto. Then eventually, I was working for a top multi national, and of the 30 plus years with this single company, I did not miss a single target until the day I left.   Is this that Wegener is cultivated?

            The origin of this Wegener Granulomatosis is relatively unknown, so is the relapse. I hope to post this up so that medical student is aware of this disease and can take a more cautious approach. Hopefully with the current technology, Singapore can run the c ANCA and PR3 twice a week instead of once a week. Also liberate this test. I find testing will be at least a thousand times cheaper to test for the WG than having an infusion to repair the damage it caused. Dentist, ENT and Urology guys will also have to watch out for signs. We can dig some more of such patient out from those that might have WG hiding somewhere. I to now still very strongly believed that there are sure more people with WG that we can think of. The only thing is not many can or lucky enough to last to tell a story. They may just be waiting for a flare up. He or she might just go away to another world after being diagnosed for some thing else. By the way, actually are there any existing patients in Singapore now?

End Dec 18 2009, 1st anniversary !

Wann ist die Motivation, seinen Socken zu waschen, groß genug, um es auch wirklich zu machen?

Genau, wenn keine mehr da sind XD

Zum Glück ist morgen die erste Vorlesung erst um 2, da haben die noch Zeit zu trocken…

Mund voll.
Boden belag.
Fuß abtreter.
Tisch bein.
Arsch kalt.
Massen andrang.
Augen ringe.
Sonnen Gott.
Kaffee klatsch.
Vale Vale.

Wonder Girls – Nobody on So You Think You Can Dance (2009-12-10).avi [71.28 MB]

1024×576 version!

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GNUVORC7

It’s not crystal crystal clear, but still very nice^^

—
Please DO NOT take this cut out. Thanks!
(Cashews’ GOLDEN Rule)

Wonder Girls – Nobody on So You Think You Can Dance (2009-12-10) [cashewmania].avi [28 MB]

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NOMY6PLE

Thanks a bunch, Joyce & tam!
Please comment if downloading^^

Park Jin Young has been stealing the spotlight from others in the month of December with his comeback. He recorded an episode of Kim Jung Eun’s Chocolate today and shared some information about his artistes. One of his artistes, 2PM, was also present at this Christmas special episode recording.

Kim Jung Eun asked what kind of a teacher he is to 2PM and Wonder Girls and he said:

“They treat me however they want. Wonder Girls hit me a lot. I had to talk to Taecyeon once so I called him over and then I forgot what I was gonna say. He just got up and said, ‘Tell me when you remember’ and left! They’re always like that. When I get serious, then they listen. But in reality, they are not very nice.”

Is it just me or does anyone else find this JYP bond a bit cute?

Park Jin Young also went on to rate his stars:

“Wonder Girls are about 8 points out of 10. Their flaws have improved. It’s been 3 years since they’ve debuted and their live stages, dancing, and singing has improved. They’re not as good as Rain or Kim Tae Woo but they’ve grown a lot. For 2PM and 2AM, 7 points. It hasn’t been long since they’ve debuted. They have so much more to accomplish. They don’t do as well on stage than they do during rehearsals.”

Credit: AK

Jangan datang? KENAPA?

Tak percaya? Jom tengok video ni.

Percayakan sekarang. PERCAYA saja tak cukup.

Masa lapar, kita sedar kita lapar, SEDAR saja cukup ke? Kena makan.

Masa hujan, kita tahu hujan sangat lebat. TAHU saja cukup ke? kena buka payung.

Sekarang ni kita PERCAYA, SEDAR dan TAHU, apalagi,

JOM JOIN NURKASIH

nacion de liberacion, digital work, 2009

Momentan ist unsere Eingangstür nur schwer zu öffnen, wenn
überhaupt. Es bedarf einer ausgeklügelten Technik in Zusam-
menarbeit mit Handgelenk, Schulter und Hüftschwung, um
dann bloß eine 55%ige Chance zu haben die Tür auf zu kriegen.
Ich hab mir sagen lassen, dass die religiösen Mitbewohner wäh-
renddessen mit der anderen Hand ihre Gebetskette in der Hosen-
tasche um Beihilfe bitten. Der Schlüssel muss ein dutzendmal im
Schloss kreisen, eher er dann bis zum Anschlag gedrückt das er-
sehnte Heim aufsperrt. Angekommen in den eigenen vier Wänden
durchflutet gleißendes Licht die Augen, mediterrane Gewürze sch-
musen mit der Nase und die Ohren suhlen sich in den experimen-
tellen Tönen, die sich aus dem Zimmer des Saxophon-Mitbewoh-
ners stehlen. Da kommt das Betreten der eigenen Wohnung Einem
wie eine Eroberung des Nachbarstaats vor. Jeder, der es schafft,
wird vom Glück übermannt, außer vielleicht die Polen. Aber die hal-
ten glaub Ich eh nichts vom Glück. Außer bis es vielleicht dann mal
zum Anschlag kommt.

credits:  icetsu.wordpress.com for the original Thai comicstrips + hadeshadez@twitter/HadesHadez@ssf and @ssf +enitch@twitter for translations, ~linhchi15~, anneth+ La Belle@ soompi!

Anda mahukan sambungan kepada siri NUR KASIH? Kami bawakan NUR KASIH kepada semua yang berada di Jepun.

Program yang dinanti-nantikan telah tiba. InsyaAllah, kali ini kami akan bawakan program untuk mengajak semua peserta untuk lebih mendalami Al-Quran. Fokus utama pada surah al-Fatihah.

Program yang telah dijalankan di serata US, kini akan dijalankan di Nara-ken, Jepun. Tidak seperti program biasa, program kali ini lebih berbentuk training dan interaktif, supaya segala yang dipelajari dapat dipraktikkan sejurus sahaja anda sampai di rumah. Eh, bukan setibanya di rumah sahaja malah di tempat program sendiri!

Ilmu adalah untuk disampaikan dan diamalkan

Jangan lepaskan peluang untuk berukhwah, menimba ilmu dan mencari hidayah dari Allah.

Ichi go ichi e!

Jangan lepaskan peluang yang ada. Sama-sama kita berjaya di dunia dan akhirat.

PS : Nak dapat pahala berganda? Sebarkan program ini kepada sahabat-sahabat yang lain juga

Best kan?

Tahun lepas, seronok sangat. Dapat redah ribut salji . Dapat main baling-baling salji.

Gerenti best insyaAllah. Kenapa? Bukan sahaja dapat ilmu, dapat pengalaman baru, dapat kawan baru dan yang penting dapat keseronokan untuk menjadi muslim berjaya!

Ichi go ichi e!

Tunjukkanlah kami jalan yang lurus

(Al-Fatihah : 6)

Last Saturday night I put together what I considered was a really good Wintergrasp, where I didn’t die and almost kind of had that aura of badass-ity. I was firing off crits as killing blows, taking down siege vehicles with a few hits and destroying any random Alliance that crossed me while doing it. When I said as much in the chat channel I share with friends from old games, one of which said I was highest damage on his Recount.

Not sure if this had anything to do with this, but following the battle I was asked in a random tell, “interested in doing 2’s with a holy pally?”

Arena play is something that I have been wanting to do, but admittingly only because of the rewards involved and that you cannot get a PvP weapon from Battlegrounds (which is BS). My brother in-game is a combat rogue and best friend is an enhancement shaman, so needless to say it wasn’t like a better composition was going to come along at any time soon.

The pally’s name is Rerollinc, and after going 8-2 Saturday night we followed it up by going 3-5 on Monday to end with a 517 rating for the week. It has been a lot of fun so far in figuring out our playstyles, but at this point I think we’re winning a lot of matches based on talent alone. For Monday I was having microphone problems which would’ve been our first time on Ventrilo, but I’m sure that will be remedied by the next time we play.

Back to Ironman though. On Sunday he asked me if I wanted to run some battlegrounds with him, where I figured out he has a warlock named Zugdot who is just sick. We played 2 Warsong’s, an Arathi Basin and an Eye of the Storm and only even came close to losing in the EotS, which was a final of 1600-1100ish. We were paired up with a feral-by-raid and resto-by-BG druid named Thrusting who is amazing in a support role, and honestly it didn’t matter who we were paired up with that night we were just going to win.

Naturally I didn’t think to grab screens except for a random one at the lumber mill in AB and of my really-did-nothing feat of running 3 flags back to the while hardly engaging in combat.

WG

Ich hab mich gerade so geärgert das mir nun im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes kotzübel ist.

Die Liste der Leute, die von der Veränderung in meinem Leben noch nichts wissen, wird kürzer. Heute habe ich es meinem kleinen Bruder gesagt. Er war absolut geknickt und voller Unverständnis. Allen Gründen, die ich ihm aufzuzählen versuchte, begegnete er mit einem “Ja, aber..”, also hab ich irgendwann gesagt, ich wisse es selber nicht genau, was irgendwie auch stimmt.

Als ich gerade die Wohnung betrat, empfand ich die Leere und die Stille schon nicht mehr als ganz so schlimm wie gestern Abend. Ich hab einfach munter vor mich hingeplappert (“Hallo, du große, leere, kalte Wohnung”) und mich gleich daran gemacht mein Abendessen zu “machen” (war nur ne Woschtstulle). Jetzt hör ich meine Fiddler’s, drehe meine Runde im Netz und verdränge die Tatsache, dass sich die Welt morgen mitsamt Uni weiterdreht.

Einen Monat gebe ich mir jetzt um zu entscheiden, ob ich ab jetzt alleine wohnen möchte (freilich in einer kleinere und billigeren Wohnung), oder ob ich mal auf WG umsteige. Vorstellen könnte ich mir beides – und das trotz der ausgesprochen schlechten Schottland-Erfahrung. Hab sogar schon Angebote für 2 WGs.

Ich tanze, in meinem Kopf, mit meinen Gefühlen, und überhaupt. Ich singe laut zu Hot Chocolate und fühle mich “like a winner”. Ich lebe, wie noch nie, und ich fühle mich super.
Natürlich ist nicht alles dauerhaft supergenial. Ich schlafe zu wenig, und noch bin ich im Büro in der langwierigen Einarbeitungsphase und verstehe die Hälfte noch nicht. Aber summa summarum, unterm Strich, überwiegen die positiven Erlebnisse sehr stark.

Die Arbeit ist sehr interessant und entspricht meinen Vorstellungen, doch die Anforderungen sind um einiges höher als in meinen bisherigen Jobs. Kein Wunder, die Firma ist um ein Vielfaches grösser, und genauso sind es die Kunden. Trotzdem ist alles sehr kollegial und freundlich, sogar mit dem Geschäftsführer ist man per du, und dennoch verliert man nicht die Professionalität. So muss das sein! Und mein direkter Vorgesetzter ist zwar sehr streng, aber ansonsten mit einem Humor ausgestattet, der mich jeden Tag zum Lachen bringt. Und das ist die Hauptsache.

Auch mein WG-Mensch ist einfach klasse. Schon fast zu klasse, denn er – und die Freunde, die ich durch ihn kennengelernt habe – halten mich regelmässig bis nach Mitternacht wach. Das ist auf die eine Seite sehr mühsam, da ich kaum mehr Zeit für mich habe, auf die andere Seite aber eine sehr schöne und willkommene Ablenkung vom Alltag (der sich zwar noch nicht eingestellt hat; So viel Neues auf einem Haufen muss ich erst einmal verdauen: Stadt, Job, Wohnung, Freunde, … ich berste vor Sinneseindrücken). Aber es ist toll, derart willkommen geheissen zu werden, und überhaupt nicht selbstverständlich.

Aber wo wir bei neuen, schönen Ablenkungen sind: Seit ein bis zwei Wochen bin ich abends regelmässig mit einem sehr interessanten Menschen beschäftigt. Ich habe nie wirklich viel von Singlebörsen gehalten und tue es auch jetzt noch nicht, doch nach einigen halbherzigen Flirts scheint das ein echter Glücksgriff gewesen zu sein. Dieser Mensch fasziniert mich. Unsere Lebenseinstellung decken sich sehr, und auch unsere Zukunft, unsere Werte, unser Humor, es stimmt alles überein. Und das schönste aber ist, dass diese Person meine Eigenheiten, meine Hobbys, meine Persönlichkeit akzeptiert, mich nicht daran bemisst wie andere, sondern mich… irgendwie als Gesamtmensch annimmt und respektiert. Und schätzt.

Das mag nun übertrieben klingen, schliesslich kennen wir voneinander noch nicht viel mehr als Bilder und ein paar intensive Chatgespräche über Gott und die Welt, und wie ich mich selbst einschätze, steigere ich mich gerade wieder hinein. Doch auch von der Gegenseite ist echtes, bestätigtes Interesse vorhanden, und das Gefühl, auf eine ehrliche und gesamthafte Weise “begehrt” zu sein, welches ich bei früheren Beziehungen nur teilweise, wenn überhaupt verspürt habe, ist schön, ja geradezu berauschend.

Lucy, Kate, Lisa & Delphine

Letzte Woche war ich auf meiner ersten Hausparty, eine Mottoparty. Wohngemeinschaften waren eingladen die dann jeweils die selbe Farbe tragen mussten. Naja unsere war gelb, nicht ganz meine Farbe aber ich habe doch noch was gefunden.

Aber das ist jetzt auch endlich mal der längst überfällige Anlass mal meine Mitbewohnerinnen vor zu stellen…  Ich teile mir das Haus mit 3 klasse Mädels. Alle 3 sind Studentinnen.  Delphine ist 20, Französin und studiert Russisch und Chinesisch als Wirtschaftssprachen Kate und Lucy sind beide 21 und Engländerinnen.  Kate studiert Trading Standards, Lucy Englische Literatur. Und bis auf ein paar Teller, die sich ab und zu ansammeln, muss ich sagen, dass unsere Wohngemeinschaft richtig gut läuft.

Viele aus meinem Kurs ist ja mit einigen Deutschen in der Wohngemeinschaft gelandet. Ich bin froh dass es bei mir nicht so ist. Denn so hab ich dann auch tatsächlich das Gefühl im Ausland zu sein.Einige sprechen hier kaum ein Wort Englisch am Tag.