I had previously mentioned James, the guy I dated many years ago.   He  looked me up after 8 years to profess his love for me and the mistake he made by letting me go so many years ago and how he would like to correct that mistake if he ever got the chance to do so. We have played catch up as to what’s going on in each of our lives. First I was flattered and shocked by the comments.  He wasn’t one to express his feelings in the past.  Might have been one of the reasons I left him.  I then inquired as to why?  He said he didn’t realize what he had until I walked out.  I was like wow, that’s very sweet of you to say.  So he’s been blowing up my phone and calling and telling me how much he loves me.  He said he loved me back then but didn’t know how to say it or show it properly.  He tells me all the time how he would go back and change things if he could, how his life would be so different if he would have chased me down.  He said he had looked for me over the years and never found me.  My stuff is invisible on FB, so you can’t find me very easily.  He tells me how much he misses me and misses the times we had and blah blah… it’s crazy.  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? All of this definitely brings back feelings I had for him once upon a time and it makes me wonder what if?

He travels a lot for his job, so that helps right now him not being close enough to do me danger (meaning get me in trouble-tempt me) right now.  He has been messaging and calling me quite a bit and at one point was upset about a comment made on FB about Chris bringing marriage up.  I never said anywhere on FB that I had said yes. I said that it was out of the blue and I thought Chris was just fishing for information.  So James was upset and was asking if I was planning on marrying Chris.   I did have to bring him back to reality in our text message following that, here’s how it went:

JAMES: Greetings from frozen Canada
ME:  Hi
JAMES: Are you naked?? I wanna see…
ME: I’m still at work
JAMES: So that’s a no huh..
ME: LOL
JAMES: What time do you get off tonight? 
ME: I’m leaving in a few minutes
JAMES: So naked by 530…. COOL
ME: It’s nearly 6 now. 
JAMES: Sorry on mountain time here.
ME: It’s okay
JAMES: So you will be naked for me by 6:30, 7 somewhere in there?
ME: No, I’m not getting naked till bed time. 
JAMES: That’s a yes. Your bedtime needs to be 7 tonight. 
ME: LOL I don’t think so. 
JAMES: You’re getting the theme here right? I WANNA SEE YOU NAKED !!!
ME: I somehow figured that one out. 
JAMES: I wanna see you now !
ME: Well then you better come home. 
JAMES: I can’t wait till then. 
ME:  NO, Maybe when you come home.  You have waited 8 years I think you can wait a few more weeks. 
JAMES: What do you mean NO ? 
ME: NO, NOPE, Opposite of Yes… LOL
JAMES:  I definitely don’t like the word No now.  8 years was 8 years to long. 
ME:  I think you will be fine waiting a little longer. 
JAMES: You’re a comedian.
ME:  You ran off and got married. 
JAMES: Yes, and I made a mistake. 
ME: It’s okay.  But now if you want me, You have to come and get me. 
JAMES: I leave Canada tomorrow…what do I get when I come back home, you under me or on top… YOUR choice. 
ME: LOL !! You’re pretty sure of yourself huh???
JAMES: You’re not??
ME: Have you really through this out?  Are you really planning on leaving her?
JAMES:  What are you expecting?
ME: I don’t expect anything because you’re the one that’s married now.  There is nothing I can do about that fact. 
JAMES:  Not at all – YOU have a big say in this. 
ME:  I mean really have you really thought about this?  Are you gonna give up your new house, your land?  I’m not moving there. So are you planning on moving back here? You’re the one that would have to make a lot of changes and I don’t know that you have really thought this through. 
JAMES: You know I have been looking for you for years. I told you that. My marriage has been over for years as well. I don’t care about the house and land, she can have it, if it means I need to move back to be with you I will do that.  I just want you to gimme another chance, I won’t make the same mistake again. I won’t let you go this time. 
ME: I don’t want to be the reason you finally divorce and I can’t promise that there will be a future with us. A long time has gone by and people change. 
JAMES: I just want you to see me, gimme that. I need to see you. I need to hold you again. I have missed you more than you know. 
ME:  I’m just not used to you being so vocal with your feelings.  It’s a little scary to me. 
JAMES: Well that doesn’t really answer my question, but I want to see you, I really do. 
ME: I’m blown away by you telling me how you feel. I would like to see you again. 
JAMES: Do you plan on marrying him?  
ME:  I do not plan on marring him or anyone else anytime soon.  I especially will not marry him while he is still on probation. 
JAMES: Well I hope you don’t.  I hope you wait and give me a chance to show you I have changed and show you how much I love you. 
ME: Well lets just take things one day at a time and see what happens.

THERE YOU GO – Do you see the nonsense I am dealing with as of late??? The kicker here and the reason I haven’t just told James to go take a flying leap…  I really did care about him back then, however I never came out and told him so.  He had a hard exterior and was not going to be open up and let a woman get in close enough to hurt him, so he kept me at arms distance and never expressed his feelings so I in turn didn’t either.

I don’t know what has changed this man, but there is definitely a change.  Maybe its age that has matured him, time, I have no clue, maybe it is just what he says and losing me was a mistake and he’s gonna do whatever it takes to get show me that and make sure not to let it happen again… I have no idea.  Here are how our latest texts have been going…

JAMES: Hello beautiful are you off work yet?
ME: I just left the office.
JAMES: How was your day?
ME: It was good, but much better now that it’s over.
JAMES: You have been on my mind all day.
ME: That’s sweet, thank you.
JAMES: What’s your favorite flower?
ME: Tulips
JAMES: Compared to the sweet smell of your skin all flowers are skunks.
JAMES:  <3 I’ll always remember the day I first spoke to you, hearing your voice was like listening to angels in heaven <3
ME: OMG
ME: Where did that come from???
JAMES: I just love you and wanted you to know.
JAMES: <3 Darling, I thought of you and it made me smile <3
ME: Are you drunk?
ME: You have never talked like that before, it’s so new to hear you talk like that to me.  It’s so very sweet though.
JAMES: I love you and I want you to know it.
ME: It’s always nice to have someone in your life who can make you smile even when they are not around. (This was a quote/picture I found and sent to him)
JAMES: I like that <3
ME: <3<3<3
JAMES: You make me feel like every day is Christmas. I want to come for a kiss under the mistletoe <3
ME: Awww
JAMES: Wish you were laying next to me now.
ME: Awww.  Are you tired?
JAMES: Can you call?

After our phone call - 

JAMES: I adore you <3
JAMES: It was great to talk to you my love. Just hearing your voice makes me happy.  It also makes me realize how much I miss you. I want to hold you and make love to you so bad it hurts. <3 <3
ME: You blow me away with the things you say these days. 
JAMES: I LOVE YOU. Nite Sexy.
ME: Night honey.

Next morning - 

JAMES: Good morning my sweet, sexy love. Hope all is well. 
ME: Morning, how are you?
JAMES: Good, woke up thinking about you.
ME: What time are you going to be in town today, do you know yet?
JAMES: Probably around 7.
ME: How long are you going to be in town before you have to leave to be back in Canada?
JAMES: I got all the time I need if it means I get to see you <3
ME: Aww, thank you.
JAMES: Do you work tomorrow?
ME: Nope
JAMES: <3<3<3
JAMES: I’m on the way to see you, 20 mins to town.  I Love You and can’t wait to finally hold you.
JAMES: I wish I could hear your voice right now because I miss you so much.
JAMES: I made it, so call me when your ready.  I can’t wait to get you in my arms, I might never let you go again.  I can’t wait to tell you I love you in person, I have been waiting 8 years to do just that. 

So I suppose you can guess that I went to meet up with James, and you would be correct.  I’m going to leave the story there for now.  It  was really strange seeing him after so long, but it was nice to see him.

This is just one of the causes for confusion and stress currently stirring up my life right now… but by far not the only thing.

I am a little lost as to what I am doing or what the future holds for me. Stay tuned to see what happens.
~McQty~

The average insurance company saves more than 8% of investment profits every year just by engaging in payment delaying tactics. It can save another 20 to 30% of profits on wrongful claim denials, most due to confusing policy language. A further 30 to 40% of profits are saved by engaging in low-balling on claim payouts. These are staggering numbers that show the magnitude of the problem faced by insurance claimants.

But who to turn to for help in a situation where your back is against the wall with the insurance company?

A Google search doesn’t provide much solace for the consumer. A search of “Insurance Consumer Advocate” reveals only;

1. State Insurance Advocates, but if you are in a position where you need the assistance of a government bureaucrat, or an attorney, you have already suffered from a world of hurt at the hands of your insurer.
2. Companies that disguise themselves as customer advocates, but are really only in the business of selling insurance.
3. Paid advertisements for Attorneys, perpetuating themselves to be consumer advocates in insurance related issues.

Clearly none of these will suffice to a family struggling to pay for living in a motel, because the roof has blown off of their home, and their insurer refuses to fairly pay their claim, on time. They need assistance yesterday, not in 6 months’ time.

The savvy insurance consumer needs The Consumer’s Action Plan. The CAP is a personal risk management and contingency plan for individuals, and small business owners in the form of a membership. The Plan provides its members with education, risk management tools and support services for their homes, property, vehicles, or a business. Said another way, The CAP teaches you all of the RIGHT things to do before, during and after things go WRONG. We are an independent organization, not affiliated with any insurance company, and we do not sell insurance.

Disaster management starts before you set sail, not after the ship sinks. Go to ThePlan.org and learn how to stave off a second disaster, before you are hit by the first.

The answer? Who knows. Honestly, for once in my life, I don’t want any answers.

After my first GI doc was so discouraging, I had given up on seeking help and decided that, for all the money I was spending on tests, it was more economical to just be sick and deal. But after a while, my symptoms started worsening again, and I decided to give it a try just one more time. After the doctors at UNT guessed at IBS, I was feeling pretty optimistic. They referred me to Dr. Sanders.

Hubby wasn’t allowed in the check up room with me, but would be allowed in Dr. Sander’s office when we talked at the end. I went in there and got into a very unpleasant paper gown. I guess I’m spoiled by my primary doc – he has lovely cloth gowns with flowers on them. While I was waiting, I noticed a bunch of beetles on the celling. That’s…not so great for a first impression. But upon closer inspection…

Is that….it’s a ladybug!!!

Yup. The rooms were full of ladybugs. As much as that sounds like a #WonderlandProblem (thanks witty coworkers for coining that phrase) I was oddly delighted. Ladybugs are lucky, right?

Anyway, then I met Dr. Sanders. I don’t know that he’s Jewish, but he has that rich Jewish accent. And he’s really funny. He’s older, grey hair. Tall, skinny, but knobbly. Smiles lots. He kind of looks like Bill Nye the Science Guy, but with a very big red nose. I’m so not being racist, I just want you to be able to picture him properly, because he’s a great character and I’m quite fond of him.

Dr. Sanders led off by asking about the other doctors I’d seen, and when I mentioned Dr. Rogoff’s name, he said he knew him. OH GREAT. Well, I like to think I’m a lady, and it would have been most unladylike for me to say what I really thought of Mr. Rogoff to a friend of his. But I did say that Dr. Rogoff called for a lot of very expensive tests, gave no answers, and above all, that I left because he never told me what we were looking for, or what our plan was.

So, knowing that I would absolutely walk out his door and never ever come back unless we had good communication and he was nice to me, he made sure to tell me everything about everything and was quite nice to me. He suggested a blood test, and he wanted to see all the test results and post ops from not only Dr. Rogoff, but also all my endometriosis stuff. I was so pleased. Dr. Rogoff had never asked about seeing the endo stuff. I decided this guy was a good guy, and everything was going to be alright. When I asked what I should do over the Thanksgiving holiday, he breathed a heavy sigh. “Well, you only give me three days here.” I laughed. I liked him.

He gave me little tiny pink easter eggs called amitiza.

He said it could cause nausea, but only to a very small percentage of people. So guess what – I took it for three days, and I was sick as a dog. I never threw up, but I was so nauseated that I couldn’t do anything but lay very very still, and even then I was miserable. With Thanksgiving on the horizon, I made the executive decision to stop taking it over the holiday, and I felt much much better. So amitiza wasn’t the way to go.

We talked, and he said doctors aren’t smart enough yet to know what causes IBS, but we do know that stress doesn’t help. He encouraged me to make time to do things I love. “Like running. But if you tell someone who doesn’t like running to run, well. But it’s not the running. It’s the doing something you like.” He paused. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I really do spend most of my time doing things I like. So he went on. “And for some people, taking a pill helps.” He never once used the word antidepressant. But I knew that’s what he was talking about. I was like, this is my first appointment with this guy! Besides, I decided a long time ago that I don’t need antidepressants. Honestly, I didn’t believe in them. I didn’t believe that a pill could change my feelings, and even if it could, I didn’t want it to. So I said no need.

Now…remember that I said he wanted to do a blood test? This is where things fall apart.

We went to Quest Diagnostics. Usually, I like them. But the one in Carrollton… not so good. First, the lady was very attitudinal about my insurance. I got married, and my name changed, but not on my insurance since it’s still under my parent’s insurance. Most doctors I’ve seen just go “Oh, okay.” And file me as Rachel MarriedName – MaidenName. It’s not that crucial, as my little hip sister would say. But anyway, we got off on the wrong foot.

So, once she was done giving me flack about that, she just turned around and stuck me. Out of the blue! I hadn’t even had a chance to mention that needles make me nervous. I sat still, and looked up into my husbands eyes. My eyes filled up to the very top with tears.

Then we walked outside…to the car….got in….and made the hour long drive home. And I SOBBED THE ENTIRE TIME. I don’t think I’ve ever been lower. It was like…I had all this fear and sadness deep inside me, and all it needed was one little needle sized hole for it all to come pouring out.

Hubby didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know why I was crying, and neither did I really. Was I overwhelmed by the prospect of another incurable disease? Was I just having a panic attack about the needle? I don’t know. But life was suddenly too much. I’d been hurting and sad and stressed about graduating and it had just been too much for too long, and I broke.

I guess maybe antidepressants wouldn’t be the end of the world. It couldn’t hurt to try. Just to get me through graduation. Then, after everything calms down, I can stop them and just handle life again.

He prescribed Zoloft. I was mad about this. It was antidepressants. I guess I was hoping that since he’d never called them that, maybe it would be something else. I did not want to be a bouncy round dot. I am better than that.

I hate those stupid little guys.

But it wasn’t the end of the world, and in fact, I do feel better. In fact, a lot of my IBS symptoms went away. When I went back to Dr. Sanders for a follow up, I was feeling as normal as I ever feel. No pain, no throwing up, just the endo stuff. IBS had sort of vanished.

He did a couple more tests, and said firmly that it’s not crohns or colitis. I won’t need surgery, or anything like that. It’s IBS, and we can handle it. He said that the good news is that things are good now. IBS is cyclical, it comes and goes. Now, I’m in good times. There will be bad times later. And more good times of course. For now, he said, the zoloft seems to be helping, and prilosec is doing good. He said to stay the course for the holidays, and enjoy them. After that, we’ll see about weaning me off these medicines, and seeing if we can find a less intrusive, less take-a-pill-every-day way to deal with these things.

He also recommended a book: Relief From IBS by Elaine Fantle Shimberg. I’m still trying to find it, but if anyone wants to get it for me for Christmas it’s at the top of my list. He said it’s an old book, but still very good. He said the most important thing is to validate my illness – own that it’s a real thing. In these good times, it’s easy to think maybe it was all in your head. Catharsis and empathy are extremely important as we move forward.

After that I got the flu, then I got a stomach flu. Then, literally the morning of my flight, I felt great just in time for my graduation/Christmas trip to Disneyland. I can’t wait to post about all that! I also still have a great interview waiting for you, and a blog award! So stay tuned. Life is all over the place, but right now is good times.

I sincerely hope that good times find all of you this Christmas, too.

The PE department had spoken to him about the cuts on her arms and legs. He had spoken to her and had a look and called me.

I’m shocked and gutted. I thought she had stopped – well, she HAD stopped. And she promised that she wouldn’t do it again. I hadn’t noticed that she had started again because it’s winter, her arms and legs are always covered up.

The Head of Year has offered her time with the school nurse or the school counsellor. I’ve gratefully accepted anything they can do. I know she doesn’t want to talk to me. I will try, but often if I try she just backs off further.

I really don’t understand. We’d actually been getting on so well for the last few weeks. We’ve spent more time together than we have for ages, and have laughed and talked loads. Has she only been happy because she’s been cutting herself again?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help her.

I’m leaving work early today so I can get home just after her. The counsellor she used to see (who girlie hated) said she didn’t need any further sessions. If the ‘expert’ has no idea what’s going on, how am I supposed to know?

I just don’t know what to do.

This is the piano sheet for What Should I Do by Park Da Ye! It was sung by Jang Geunsuk/Hwang Tae-kyung in the last episode when he was looking for Park Shin Hye/Go Mi-nam…honestly, this is not a song I went really crazy over, but I liked esoecially when shung by Jang Geun Suk!! This is also dedicated to my mum, who loves this song a lot ^^ Enjoy! I’m sorry I can’t post the piano cover very soon, in maybe 2 weeks time  because I’ll be overseas till next week…still, have fun and enjoy the holidays!!

Download Link – piano sheet What Should I Do Jang Geun SUk (You’re Beautiful)

“OK,” I grumbled, while stretching out both arms. “And then what do I do?”

The ensuing silence was deafening.

Now my mother who has MS and is having a mental meltdown is driving me nuts over the whole thing. She is upset bc I didn’t open my sisters gifts at her shower, since she was sick. She says she can’t be happy for my sister bc of me. I have gone beyong for my sister and future nefew. I have not mentioned my feeling or expressed my thoughts at all until the other day. My sister wants me in the delivery room with her. I AGREED despite my feelings. My mom is a very nervouse, stressed out, drama queen and my sisters husband will be passed out. Mom was talking to me about it and I made the comment that once my sister delivered and was ok I may step out while they are bonding. I mean come on, I can’t watch births on TV without breaking down. It is her moment with her baby, I want them to cherish it. BIG MISTAKE!!!! My mom has called me crying and screaming about it for weeks now. I am ruining my sisters time! Really? HOW? I have done her shower, nursery, registeries. I have gone shopping with her, done research on different things for her, IDK what else I can do. I know as my mother her heart breaks for me… I know that. I have never once not been excited for my sister or ask for anyone pitty or sympathy. I am a strong woman. I have made it thru 4 years on being infertile, I guess mom has just now opened her eyes and recognized it and is now smoothering me.Its all I hear everyday. She asks me everyday when I am going to ovulate, if I am trying, when my period is comeing…. its become crazy. Then she adds to it that she has MS and I need to hurry and do what I need to do to have a baby because she may not be around to see it or be able to touch it. REALLY? Like I don’t put enough pressure on myself. How many more doctors do I need to see? How many more tests? Drugs? What more do I have to do?

I have had a horrible time with it all lately. I deal with it by not saying anything and taking A LOT of deep breaths. The truth is I am angry, and hurt, and lost and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. This weekend my husband had a little to much to drink and got angry which was unusual. I tried talking to him and he yelled at me and pushed me away from him. He then started crying because he couldnt give me a baby! It is not him he has NO ISSUES, but deep down I guess he feels it is. My husband is a bad boy tattoed ranger in the Army and does not show emotion ever. He said his wife wanted a child more than anything in this world and it killed him not to be able to give it to me because I never ask for anything else. I take care of everyone and do everything I can to help anyone in need. I can’t help everyone but I can help some and pray that one day they will help someone else. My husband began made the statement that there was no God because if there was he really hated us. I have to be honast ans say that got to me. I became angry and began to wonder. Is there a God? If there is what have I done so bad? I try to raise money for people in need, feel the guy at the grocery store in the wheel chair, buy presents for kids, help any friend or any one that I can do something. I then for the past week have thought about every bad thing I have ever done, any person I may have hurt, lies I told.. even changing report card grades in school. And then thought maybe there isn’t a God! How could I have thought that? I know God hasn’t given me a baby for a reason. Maybe its to help someone else or to make me really appreciate life and the little things… IDK what that reason is but I had no right to doubt that there was a God. I have in the past day stepped back and took a deep breath. I need to find my purpose in all this and know what it is I am suppse to do with all this hurt.

Again I am sorry about venting, I just have to get it all out.

I have Food Allergies – What’s My Treat

The last time my daughter went trick-or-treating, we had to rush her to the hospital. She was only a year old when one of our neighbors handed her Snickers as a treat, and within half an hour, her face swelled up and my baby was vomiting and wailing non-stop. Honestly, that incident instilled a terrible fear of Halloween and peanut candies in me that we haven’t celebrated Halloween or had anything with peanuts in three years.

As a kid, I would impatiently wait for Halloween because it came with three magic words: Trick or Treat! Going door to door collecting heaps of candies made my entire week, and it breaks my heart to deprive my daughter of the same festive spirit and the joy of filling a basket with treats. So this year we have decided to shuffle things up a bit—as parents of a food allergic kid, here’s what we have planned to do:

My daughter will be having a little Halloween party in her class at school, so we have already explained her condition to the teacher and have obtained permission to stick close by. We have decided to make small goody bags in advance which comprise of ‘safe’ food items, and we are baking a few allergen free cookies and cupcakes for the entire class. Also, there is another child in my daughter’s class who has a food allergy, and her mother was too glad to chip in—every bit of support helps!

I am also trying to shift my daughter’s focus from trick-or-treating and get her rather excited about the costume. Since my little munchkin loves angry birds, she has agreed to dress up as a bright red birdie. I brought some fabric, fake fur, eyes and yellow webbed feet, but honestly, my end result looked more like a gelled-up, fur-standing-on-edges scarecrow—so I ordered one online instead.

My husband and I have stocked up on peanut-free candies and are planning to leave a few with our neighbors which they can hand out to our daughter when she goes out trick-or-treating. I’m dreading this part a bit because I think it will get awkward, but then I’d take awkward over my child’s health any given day! Another great idea that my husband proposed is that we let our daughter fill her basket with whatever is being handed out on Halloween night, and swap out those treats with safe ones later. My only concern is if my daughter decides to rip the candy open in advance—I don’t want to take any chances!

If you too are a parent of a child with food allergy, consider the following tips:

• Be vigilant at all times and stay actively engaged in whatever your child does on Halloween
• Carry safe treats and snacks
• Make sure your neighbors, relatives, school authorities, friends—basically anyone who is likely to give your child a treat—knows about the allergy
• Do not embarrass your child by drawing unwanted attention to her being allergic
• Redirect her thoughts to the other fun parts of the holiday. Make costumes together or carve out a Jack O’ Lantern.
• Go for non-edible treats. Glow in the dark toys, origami bats, tiny dolls and superhero figures would make for a delightful treat for any child!

Remember to carry her prescribed medicines just in case. It might take a load of effort to make Halloween safe for your food-allergic child, but trust me, it is totally worth it!

Case in point: it was time for our lunch break after a wonderful trip to the museum tour where I was acting as a chaperone for my niece. The girls—Jan, Beth, and Carol—sat down to eat bagged lunches packed from home. Jan and Beth both had a lunchtime classic: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Yummy! Beth was not in the mood for peanut butter and asked Carol if she would trade sandwiches as kids sometimes do. Carol looked at Beth and said she could not make a trade. Beth  asked, “Why not? My mom makes really good PB&J sandwiches.” Carol said, “I’m sure she does, but I can’t.” She hesitantly told everyone sitting at the table how she was allergic to peanuts. They all looked at her with a puzzled look on their faces and one child asked, “What’s a food allergy?” Carol’s mother, who also happened to be a chaperone that day, stepped in and explained to all of us that some foods cause allergic reactions when ingested.

She went on to describe that for many, the signs and symptoms of an allergic reaction to peanuts include a sick feeling or stomachache, itchy skin with little red bumps, difficulty breathing, swelling in areas of the body, runny nose, lightheadedness and sometimes vomiting.

Many of the children had heard of food allergies before, but others were amazed that anyone could be allergic to peanuts or peanut butter! One child chimed in and told us about how his tummy hurts when he has milk or ice cream—but not with soy ice cream, he said. We all learned that allergic reactions can occur with any food and as a nutritionist, I was proud to listen in and confirm. Many food allergies and/or food sensitivities  compromise the immune system and depress energy levels. Food sensitivities are more common and can cause problems every day.

NOW WHAT? If you suspect your child may have food allergies and/or food sensitivities, a health care professional may be able to help. Your health care professional will probably  make recommendations such as the following:

1.  Testing: Test to determine whether a classic food allergy and/or food sensitivities exist. You may be referred to a specialist that handles food allergies.

• Your health care professional may provide a signs/symptoms checklist to key in on specific food substances.
• Once your child receives the results, your health care professional can provide  a card to always keep in a wallet or purse with guidelines for his/her specific food allergies.
• Discuss with your healthcare professional a complete food allergy action plan so you will know what to do if a reaction does occur.

2. Read labels: Labels should be read on any food substance prior to eating to avoid ingesting a potential allergen.

• Be vigilant about reading all labels – if you have questions about ingredients contact the manufacturer directly for more information.
• Make the transition fun! Try making a game out of ‘hunting’ for peanuts (or other allergen) as if hunting for foods that are good for us.

3. Plan in advance: Take the time to plan for specific situations like family get-togethers, holidays, etc.

4. Be prepared: If your child has been prescribed epinephrine, be sure he/she carries it  at all times.

5. Lay down the law: Be STRICT about avoiding allergy-causing foods as that is the only way to avoid a potentially life threatening allergic reaction.

Always remember, if your child ingests a food substance and has an immediate reaction such as wheezing, throat closure, or difficulty speaking, do not hesitate to seek emergency medical attention – IMMEDIATELY!

I will be holding demos for these classes on Monday and Wednesday, Oct 29th and 31st, at 6:30am and 6pm.  These demos will be a shortened version of the workouts you will undertake, but be prepared to feel the burn from even a 20-30 minute workout.  The next session begins November 5th.  If you want more info, email me at cjcrosswsc@gmail.com for more details or to sign up for a demo.

Many people come to personal trainers to lose weight.  Usually they’ve tried out some diet, watched a few workout videos, maybe even given pills a shot, but nothing has really worked out for them.  A lot of them have probably had a short stint of success with some of the above things, but then either they plateau, or they gain it all back.  The reason a personal trainer and fitness coach is going to succeed where the client failed in the past, is that a personal trainer has the knowledge of what it is really going to take to reach that goal.  They are going to give it to their client honestly, all the steps, and then get them started on their path.  The way to lose weight and keep it off, is to make the necessary lifestyle changes, and to make them a habit, not just something new.  I always tell my clients, that it takes 8-12 weeks to build a good habit.  In writing this blog I decided to do a quick search, and sure enough, research has shown that it takes, on average, 66 days to form a habit.  That means, that while a 30 day program may get you started, you’ve got to be doing what you need to do for at least two months before you’ve taught your subconscious that it’s now a part of your life.  With my weight loss clients, one of the biggest things they go to us for, even though it’s not actually what their payments are accrued to, is accountability.  Having someone else responsible for making sure you are doing the right thing for those first 66 days.  During those days, you’ve got someone helping you create the new lifestyle for you piece by piece, adding to your workout routine, nagging you about your diet, making sure you get that extra 30-60 minutes of cardio work in, and answering your questions to all the odd things that happen when you take your body from lazy to healthy.  When I work with a weight loss client, we track everything together, using an online log, and I’m on the phone with them weekly to help make any changes necessary, and to encourage them along the path.  There is nothing more satisfying for a health coach than to get that phone call from their client, complaining that they are going to have to buy all new suits because they are swimming in their old ones.

If you are interested in learning more about what I can do for you, please drop me an email, or feel free to schedule a free 15 minute phone call to talk using this link.

Till next time, enjoy life!

A couple of months after I moved into my first plot, Mr Mvelase senior, whom I inherited from the previous owners confronted me in a typical seasoned worker to a cocky newly appointed manager who is still wet behind the ears. “So now you own the land, how are you going to use it”, he asked. I was baffled and he quickly suggested breeding indigenous goats as our vegetation was thorn veld.

Where to find them was an issue. That winter Mvelase and I spend weekends searching in the deepest of amahlanze. Many times we returned empty handed as I learned that goats are a sacred animal and not a business for those who possessed them. I went to a commercial farmer and begged to buy boar goat ewes in lamb. They had seen better breeding days but they were goats and soon to double in number. At the same time one of the families that had sent us packing when we requested a few goats from their thriving flock had an urgent need and was willing to sell one of its impressive rams. Thus I started my goat farming enterprise. The Mvelases continued through autumn and summer of 1997 searching for goats. Eventually we build our hooch pooch flock to 50 and were ready to sell. Our marketing strategy was not to impress financiers. Those that had sold us goats or refused to sell us goats sent buyers our way.
When all seemed to be well my cynical friend Roy visited and I proudly introduced him to my new kid, Vicky. “Oh no this is business. Do not give your goats names because you will be saying they are too cute to be slaughter and eaten. These are not pets, they are not cute,” he scorned. (I still kept Vicky but did not name any new ones.)
Then I had my coffee milk cow, bought from Roy. I had offered him R1000 for the aged cow and he has asked if I was buying the whole Jersey cow in calf or one teat. I coughed up R4000 and in a month I was getting 40m litres of milk everyday. My big plan was to sell amasi on a bike in the nearby villages but it never happened. I also had my dozens of eggs that I got from 12 layer hens I bought because they were available and I could afford them. That year I had litres of milk on the floor in my kitchen and dozens of eggs on the counters. I had no idea what to do with this much milk and eggs so I had a buy goat get milk and eggs promotion for my goat customers.
My next problem was being soft hearted. When customers became teary as they begged for females and lambs, which were ordered for their ancestral feasts. They had fantastic blackmail stories about how speculations goats, sold by competitor’s scared ancestral spirits with their thin cries and runny tummies… I did what no self respecting farmer does: Selling off the breeding stock and my prized flock of 100 dwindled to nothing. That is how my first set of ventures fell flat. I did not stay down though I got up and tried again. Next you will hear about Magalela the cattle farmer and sheep farmer.
So to the readers of this column, I may not have highflying technical advice to offer. But if your first try falters I say Vuka uzithathe.

For the past year I’ve been providing small group training services for another company in the DC area.  While I loved the experience, and got the opportunity to train nearly 500 different people in groups of 2-17 people at a time, I’m happy to be back in Clarendon training at Washington Sports Clubs.  I have already begun teaching spin classes, Tuesday nights at 6:30PM, and begin teaching UXF Ripped classes next week on Monday and Wednesday nights at 7pm and 8pm.  In addition to that, I’m going back to my roots of doing one on one personal training, as well as offering running consultations and training plans.  If you are interested in any of these, please email me at cjcrosswsc@gmail.com.  I’ll be posting more posts shortly about what each service entails.

I’m going to be writing this blog about how things go returning to the personal training industry, as well as giving my insights into the fitness business and it’s community.  I’ve got some major plans for it, but I’ll be keeping that under wraps until I get things set up. 

On this blog, which is my professional language and small business area, you can find all sorts of posts about using Word, as well as posts to help other small businesses and some resources for students.

Do take a look at the category cloud in the right-hand column for more.

Over on the Libro full time blog, you’ll find more personal  reflections on my journey towards full time self-employment and my experiences in my first year of working completely for myself; the most recent post on there is about being self-employed and getting ill, and you’ll also find book reviews, Iris Murdoch stuff and information about my e-book. This page explains the connection between all these disparate elements.

I post at most once a day on one or other of the blogs, and most of my articles are fairly short, so you can subscribe with confidence if you’re not signed up already!

Do enjoy – and don’t forget to use the share buttons if you particularly enjoy a post, so others can read it too. Thank you for your interest in my pages and posts!

Contact me via email or via my contact form.

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Statistically, driving a vehicle is the most dangerous thing most people do. Few people ever think about preparing for an accident until after they have been involved in one. Without recovery plans, any accident becomes a time-consuming, frustrating event. With a little planning, you can minimize the effects of an accident by preparing yourself and your vehicle beforehand. It is especially important to be prepared during the winter. Icy roads, snow banks and hazardous conditions make winter the season when most automobile accidents occur. Accidents are bad enough in warm weather, but much worse when the temperature is freezing or below.

 Before the Accident

Before you are involved in an accident, there are a number of things you should do.

Things to Decide:

• Choose a towing company and a qualified repair company today. This avoids having to make these choices under the worst of circumstances later on.
• Know who you are going to call first and which friend or family member you can contact for help.
• Choose your insurance company based on how it treats claimants, NOT on price or by any other means.

Things to Store in Your Car:

Make an emergency kit and keep it in your vehicle. It should include:

• Emergency telephone numbers and plenty of change – when you are shaken up after an accident, you may not be able to remember the phone numbers of family and friends you can rely on for help. You may also be in a situation where your cell-phone is inoperable.
• Forms and pens for information exchange.
• Blankets and/ or warm clothes – when the vehicle’s heater fails or you are forced into the cold, warm clothing is necessary.
• Camera (disposable or digital) – to photograph the damage to your car and the other cars involved. It is also helpful to photograph anything surrounding the accident such as buildings, people who are witnesses, skid marks, traffic lights, signs and anything that is damaged as a result of the accident. For non-digital images, have two sets of prints made.
• First-Aid kit.
• Jumper cables, flares, tire inflation device (Please ensure that you are knowledgeable in the use of these items).

  After the Accident

Quality information is critical when you are involved in an accident. It is critically important to know exactly what to do and the order in which to call for help. Often under times of stress it is hard to think clearly. You should keep a recovery checklist in your emergency help kit to gather the information you need from the other driver and the police.

Exchange information with the other driver. Be sure to get the drivers name, address and phone number as well as the names and numbers of any passengers, witnesses or people injured; driver’s license number, the car’s license plate number, vehicle identification numbers, insurance company name and policy number, insurance agents name and phone numbers. Write down the names and badge numbers of the police officers who took down the accident report and ask where you can get a copy of the accident report.

Call your towing company and have your car towed to the collision shop you have chosen in advance. Never allow a tow truck driver to insist your car be taken to a shop of their choice. Never sign a towing agreement without first reading the fine print. Pay by credit card. Once you have returned home, call your insurance company and notify them that you have been involved in an accident and where your car has been taken for repair.

I don’t have a Disaster Management Plan

If you do not have a checklist in place, there is a new hope for consumers who befall an auto accident; 1 800 TheClaim.

Put simply; 1 800 TheClaim is the FIRST number to call, after you call 911, for any type of insurance related disaster. If you are in an auto wreck, have a personal injury issue, or your home is damaged by fire, flood, or wind, you need to call 1 800 TheClaim, in order to be connected to quality Subject Matter Experts, in your Zip Code.

You call, email or fill out the Consumer Registration form, with your problem(s) and we match you to the Service & Claim Experts who are near and qualified to service you. It’s as simple as that.  We then recommend that you contact that Service & Claim Expert, to service your insurance claim related problem(s).

Services for claimants are free. The Service & Claim Experts subscribe to our services. We provide our best efforts to empower you with our over 30 years of experience in the disaster recovery and insurance claim related business.

So, remember the phone number, 1 800 TheClaim, the FIRST number to call, after you call 911.

Download the pdf here: Prepare for Winter Driving

Copyright © 2012 Ron Alford & The Plan Publishing Company.
All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the Publisher.

The first idea is to just observe my community.  If I spend some time people-watching, an idea might present itself.  I might notice some particular problem that I can focus on fixing.  The only issue being that I live in America.  We don’t have a lot of issues that require design and engineering to fix.  A majority of our problems are more social in nature since we have the money and means for fabrication.  We shall see.

The second idea is to open myself up to ideas from my loyal followers (all 6 of you).  If you see something that needs a fixin’.  Send me a message or two, and let me know what you want.  I’ll try my best, promise

But it did get me thinking – where is the line between acceptable illness and unacceptable illness? When will an employer agree that you are genuinely too unwell to work? Do you have to turn up first and see how you go? Fortunately I was staying with one of the employees at this business and it was more than apparent to her just how ill I had become. If not, I would have found myself nervously treading the employability minefield – balancing impressing my employer with dedication and self-sacrifice against the overwhelming urge to display the effects of the stomach upon a £3.29 meal deal across my desk.

The short, sweet and simple answer is ‘it depends’. That doesn’t help very much. Here’s why.

Each employer is different. Each employer will have had their own unique experiences with individuals in these circumstances, and a lot is very much down to luck. One employer may see illness as an excuse to skive; another might be genuinely concerned for your health and advise you to stay at home until you are well. Some employers won’t care. Such is life.

But what can you do to mitigate the effects of ill health at work or on a placement? Here are my 3 top tips:

1. Ensure you are well rested and fed–

Being run down is going to mean you are particularly susceptible to bugs and viruses. By looking after yourself, you can do your very best to avoid coming down with these illnesses in the first place and avoid the problem all together!

2. Stock up on Immodium –

Maybe not just Immodium. Diarrhea, sickness, headaches, fevers… The effects can be awful to deal with (especially when you are alone in a new city) and may take a while to disappear on their own. Viruses in particular cannot be treated, but the symptoms can be tackled with many over the counter medicines. Build a travel medicine kit and ensure to have it with you, just in case.

3. Battle through –

‘Sniffles’ warn us of the impending doom at the hands of man flu/colds. They are not, however, a good excuse to skip work. If you know you can work, battle through. Negative impressions come through being unproductive and this is why illness becomes such a problem. If you can make it there and get through the first few hours, you will maximise your chances of avoiding a negative impression. If you don’t feel better by around midday, you can always head on back home with your employer’s permission. You will have shown just how dedicated you are, how you understand the importance of turning up and your employer will recognise you are genuinely ill and aren’t using this as an excuse to skip work and explore your new city/play Xbox.

It is very difficult to stay away from work and still leave a positive impression. Try your very best to avoid illness in the first place, make sure you’re prepared for the worst and battle through if you can. It’s tough, but it’s doable.

Jack