I found a very informative article on ESPN which originated from Daily Racing Form, regarding the use of the whip in horse racing.  I would like to see more research done on the subject since it such a controversial one with the general public.  It does seem that the whip is necessary to control a veering horse traveling at 40 mph, but is it really necessary to strike a horse multiple times to make it go faster?  Some horses do tend to get a little lazy, especially if out front, but I believe only a pop or two is necessary, not ten to twenty.

A few small changes might help the image of horse racing as it is seen by the mainstream public.  One would be to require all tracks in the U.S. to switch to crops instead of whips.  Also, start calling them crops once the switch is made since the word whip carries such a negative connotation.  Another easy change would be to limit the number of consecutive times a jockey is allowed to strike the horse. 

For more on the subject, click on the link below.

Giving safer whips a crack

Posted using ShareThis

I think I’m ready to begin reading for the public, and charging for my readings, but I’m not sure.  So I decided to ask the cards.

Question: Am I ready to read for the public and charge for my readings?

I drew 3 cards for my answer.

Anchor + Cross + Clouds

Well, I guess the message is pretty clear that I’m ready yet.  Anchor represents my confidence, and Cross represents my faith, and Clouds shows that both are uncertain.  I don’t have enough confidence and faith in myself yet, so I’m not ready.

Next I asked the card if I will ever be ready to read professionally, and here’s what I got:

Whips + Lily + Clouds

Ugh!  Clouds again!  That means my answer is ‘doubtful.’  Whips + Lily represents active experience, and Clouds shows that my experience is shaky.  I’ll take that to mean I need more practice reading for friends and family in order to acquire the necessary active experience before I’ll be ready to go pro.

That’s not what I was hoping to see, but it’s good advice and it makes sense.

This past weekend the Everything To Do With Sex Show (“Sex show” for short) took place at the Ex. I went years ago with my ex-wife, with whom I had shitty sexual chemistry in the first place, and didn’t much enjoy it. My gal had expressed interest this year, so I grudgingly agreed to suck it up and go after hearing that people we know from the kink scene would be there.

The Sex show is kind of terrible: imagine an unholy chimera of a mall before Christmas, a suburban Stag Shop for the knuckledraggers, and a douchebag convention, liberally salted with creepers and lurkers. For one take on it, from presenter Midori, see here.

The “dungeon” area really did save it, though. Priape sponsored the space and had groups and people from the local scene volunteer to manage it and present – pretty generous, because one wouldn’t have known Priape was behind it if not for asking. Anyway, shortly after showing up we ran into a new friend who was one of the rope bondage rigging demonstrators; I had been mentioning to her we had an interest in suspension, so she asked if we wanted to get our asses tied.

First, she did a demo on me, tying me up in a full, sideways suspension, hung from ropes around my shoulders, waist and thigh. It’s a pretty amazing feeling, and more than a little trippy having it done in front of a crowd of onlookers. Fuck ‘em if they can’t handle it, though, and I had my glasses off anyway so they might as well not have been there. If I’d anticipated being tied up, though, I’d have worn better underwear.

Next, a little later in the afternoon, she taught me how to tie up my gal in a partial suspension. Our friend had been cautioning us, quite sensibly, about experimenting with suspension without instruction, so this was my first lesson. I did all the tying myself, while our friend talked me through it and demonstrated some of the components on herself. Very cool! And very big of my gal to trust me to do it.

Oh, and I was taught how to handle a whip. Not an erotic thing for me, but I’ve always found the idea of them interesting.

No silly dreams last night, i slept soundly and woke up refreshed ready for the start of another week on the road.  i chose my olive-grey lace bra this morning, it is one of my favourites for it pushes my breasts out nicely and is very comfortable.  With them i put on almost transparent grey mesh panties from La Senza , one of my favourite underwear stores that i visit whenever i am in Toronto.  Sadly, the weekend being over, it was male outer clothes all day although, of course i wore stiletto heels, a lovely maroon pair with an open toe and a small platform, while at my desk, which was most of the day.

i had received a mountain of messages overnight and most needed to be dealt with quite urgently and then there was the work i had scheduled for today that couln’t be put off.  So, it was a long day but it was at least pleasantly interspersed with conversations online and over the phone with Mistress Ana and Goddess Joyce respectively.  It was, as ever, lovely to chat with Mistress Ana, even though in the course of the conversation i managed to earn two causes for punishment on my return.  The first for not admitting quickly enough that She was always at least one step ahead of my thoughts and the second for still not having painted the humbler bright red.  i explained that i have the paint but that i have to be very careful and discrete in when and where i do the painting, all of which is true but my delay on this is not acceptable and so i shall be punished,

To an outsider, the beating i shall get for these two misdemeanours might seem harsh but i accept them quite gladly.  People might think that anyone who allows another to paddle his rear or whip him must have something missing upstairs but that is not the case.  The exercise is one in which Mistress reasserts Her authority and control and is necessary so as to maintain the Owner/slave relationship and keeps me, the slave, very much in my place.  Believe it or not, but i actually need this form of discipline and although it hurts and i never actually relish the painful aspects of it, it is a bonding experience and one after which i feel so emotionally close to my Owner that the elation is hard to describe.  Elation?  Yes, for i am filled with respect for Mistress Ana plus love and joy that i belong to such a strong willed woman who could have number of slaves but has included me among them and has given me in return, Her love and Her nurturing.  D/s is not all about punishment, there is the nurturing aspect also and Mistress has been more than generous in Her gifts to me both physical, like the shoes, handbag and clothing for example, as well as in shaping my behaviour, my femininity and my emotional well being.

So, though i now have punishment lined up, i knew that i would have some punishment and need some discipline when i am next with Mistress anyway.  My chat on the phone with Goddess Joyce was equally enjoyable even though i failed to find the wine that She specifically requested.  The truth is that it does not exist.  i tried the best wine  merchants in Lima and even went to the winemaker’s website and discovered that it does not exist, not these days anyway.  i suspect it to be a wine that She enjoyed several years ago and that it has been superceded.  In any event, there will be some additional punishment for me there no doubt, especially because i could not find the raspberry leaf tea either!  But punishment shows that She cares and that i too care enough to do my best for Her when running errands.

Such failures are not crimes as such for they cannot be helped but they would be if i were to be deliberately lax in my efforts.  In that case, the punishment is a way of making me shape up or ship out.  If i did not want to serve then i would not serve well and so would resent the punishment and would walk away from the relationship.  The essence of the discipline is that by accepting it i am confirming that i truly do wish to continue in the relationship and that i need to do more to please my Owner.  Everything has its price, and the punishment and pain that goes with discipline is the payment for the joy of belonging to and having a close personal relationship in service of beautiful, strong willed women like Mistress Ana, Goddess Joyce and Lady Dynah, each of whom i adore and am very proud to know and serve.

(Sun)

Amy Winehouse must have a hot date coming up. She splurged thousands of pounds on saucy underwear, perfume and a kinky diamante-encrusted whip at the weekend.

I’d like to say someone’s in for a treat, but if her scumbag ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is to be believed, the clobber bought at Agent Provocateur in London could be to celebrate them getting engaged again.

A source said: “Amy loves showing off her new boobs and wanted to get sexy underwear to make the most of them. She couldn’t resist getting a few other bits and pieces, like the whip.”

I bet Amy’s dad Mitch will find a use for the whip when he gets his hands on Blake.

Let’s begin the blog with my last profile…

That’s a one day edit… Hope you’ll like it.

21 years old model from Shanghai, Miss Zee… amazing pictures and talk about legs to die for.
Check out her myspace site: http://www.myspace.com/iamkiki

DO NOT ATTEMPT

The boys (and gal) over at Engineer Awesome and Waterloo Labs have done something pretty incredible. They’ve managed to remotely control a car using their iPhone. On top of that they show you exactly how you can go about turning your own jalopy into a certified death trap. I’ve taken their video and made a little remix. For those of you uninitiated in “ghost riding” Wikipedia defines it as:

…when a person puts a car with an automatic transmission in drive or allows it to idle and then the driver (and passengers) of a vehicle exit while it is still rolling and dance beside it or on the hood or roof.

This is a popular activity among some youth in the San Francisco Bay Area and in particular the East Bay. Well with out further ado the Waterloo Lab Boys ghost riding the whip (song by Mistah Fab – “Ghost Ride It”):

I am a girl. (Shocking, I know.) What I mean is, I was raised in a world where body image is highly valued and hard to come by. Very few girls grow up loving their bodies. Very few women don’t have something they’d like to change about their appearance. So, for someone who struggles with body image, marks are a particularly interesting challenge.

For me, it has been a journey.

I’m a clumsy person, accident prone. I bruise easily and they don’t go away quickly. Thus I’ve always had a bruise or two, usually on my legs from tables, counters and chairs. But those are small and explainable, and generally hidden by pants.

In college, I discovered biting, and occasionally came home with Very large marks on my neck. I’d wear a scarf when “adults” were around (Parent’s Weekend, twice), but mostly I just giggled because it had been really fun getting the “hickey.”

Then I joined the local community.

There were rope suspensions that left tiger stripe bruises. The discovery of suspension was so wonderful to me that I treasured these marks, the represented the incredible experience I was having.

As I moved into heavier play, there came more bruising, bigger bruising, whip kisses. If I was going out in public where these bruises would be visible, I would ask my partners to not bruise me. I was ashamed of the marks. They seemed to me to show how “bad” I was. Show the world that I do “inappropriate” things.

But the longer I stayed active in the community, the more I came to truly understand there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. That it was part of me. That it was part of my being. That what I was doing was coming out of love and trust and joy. The bruises, like the rope marks, came to symbolize the relationships, the happiness, the fun and the pleasure.

There were also pictures and a photographer that teased that the bruises were marring his shots. This was the hardest part for me. He is a good friend and his words struck old chords in me. That I was doing something “bad” and “wrong” and I should be ashamed. With the help of my partners, I dragged myself back out of this hole. Now when he asks if he’ll ever get pictures of me without bruises, I just grin and tell him Nope. They are a part of me, part of who I am and what I do. Some girls get diamonds, I think my bruises are prettier.

This post is in the series of the Hottest Women You’ll Never Meet (ahh, a day late again!). Seeing as how this is a site about fantasy sports, these women will almost certainly be 100% fictional. You may have run across them in various games, shows or what have you, but you’ve never actually met them. And you never will. Just sit back, read up and enjoy!

Wonder Woman

Name: Wonder Woman (Diana Themyscira)

First Appearance: All Star Comics #8

Age: Forever Young

Birthplace: Olympus

Height: 5′11″

Weight: 135 lbs.

Hobbies or Occupation: Ambassador, former Princess of the Amazons & Goddess of Truth

The Shake: Isn’t it most guys’ fantasy to meet a girl who’s into bracelets, whips and a little physical domination? Then most needn’t look further than the beauty and star of the Amazon, Wonder Woman. Princess Diana can fly herself, but in case you can’t, she’s also the proud owner of an invisible jet. This would make an authentic Italian dinner or a romantic night in Paris a very real possibility any night of the week. If you were wondering if this lady is more than just a pretty face, I’m sure her intelligence and hand-to-hand combat skills will do more than answer your questions. After all, she is Wonder Woman.

Deal Breaker: She’s generally on the move a lot and she’s a little taller than the average man (umm… Amazon!). Oh, and she’s stronger than you in ever way.

Our 2nd promo video for our dark electronic label Domina Productions.

Credits and thanks to our crew:

Performers: Xarah & Valerio
Direction & editing: v-tox & Ayden
Music: Kaysh
Doggy outfit: Mr. B
Kimono dress: Tatjana Warnecke

Let us know your thoughts, and while you’re here, how about participating in a quick poll…not an original question, but hey, times are changing…

Are you dominant or submissive?
(polls)

And remember….”Seduction is Guaranteed”

DP

• Outside my window... (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) when I opened my eyes on Monday I saw Master’s beautiful face. I spent a wonderful 5 days with Him and just connecting again with him physically is important for us….for me.
• my thoughts…are introspective. Master and I were able to play my entire time with Him this trip. During one time he had invoked so much emotions inside of me that I got angry and I screamed at him. This was something new for us and I have been thinking and trying to process this so that I may talk to Him about what happened.
• Today’s Quote… I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005),Comedy Central Presents

There is always a way to look at what can be perceived as an initial hindrance and find the opportunity in it instead….and don’t forget to enjoy the trip.

• i am thankful for…having Master.
• From my service training...(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning to focus on my space through meditation and not to stress and work to be who my Master wants me to be and not who I think he wants. I forget sometimes, could be the distance, that I am His slave to develop as His slave and in the way that he sees fit.
• From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) I made a simple strawberry shortcake for Master and a friend using puff pastry, made my own whip cream and used frozen strawberries in a light syrup. It was delicious and simple for after the dinner I made.
• i am wearing…my workout clothes and I had a chance to go to the gym after work
• i am creating... (crafts, sewing etc;) hmmm I would like to create something from my own hands…not sure what though.
• my adventures this week...(where are you going this week?) is readjusting from my week with Master. Getting back into the swing of not being with him. I will also be continue to do work around the house. Fixing it up to sale.
• Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) I bought Anneke Jacobs book “As She’s told”. It is a really interesting read. I can see how it can make a good discussion book as it gives a process of someone becoming an absolute, or IE M/s couple. I like the way it talks from the male and female perspective.
• i manifest and co-create...(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children.
• Todays Melody...(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) The Bird is the Word….lol Master sent me this on voicemail and now the song is in my

head…lol so what’s a girl to do but share

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/998365/

• One of my favorite things..is to dress sexy. I am learning how to dress slutty as well.
• further plans for this week…Going to keep it quiet this week and do stuff around the house.
• Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/TheKram91237/8212Whip-Me-Posters.jpg

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention my blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well! http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com/

So now you know how this works please feel free to join me

Comments are always welcomed

MV’s esclave

Lenormand Daily Draw – Letter + Clouds + Whip

Question: What do I need to know about today?

Letter is a message in writing or some form of paperwork.
Clouds + Whip = anger.  Clouds affects the mind, and Whip represents arguments and abuses.

I can probably expect a confusing or angry email or written notice today.  Maybe a confusing notice that makes me angry.

Update Nov 9, 2009:
The Lenormand cards never fail to astound me with their accuracy!  This morning the cards were warning me about a summons I received this afternoon to notify me that a lawsuit has been filed against me regarding an old financial dispute.

The Letter is the summons of course, and the Clouds indicates the confusion surrounding the situation.  Whip is an argument or conflict, and that perfectly describes a lawsuit.  I’m curious why Tower didn’t appear in today’s draw.  If it had, I probably would have suspected some kind of legal paperwork.

Over a year ago I started playing around with the idea of an inter-dimensional circus, home to misfits so out of sych with their time and place that they runaway to a carnival on the fringes of existence. The Sad Teddy Boy Clown andhis Poodle, the Mental Gymnast, Penny Dreadful… they’d all have their stories, and all of their stories would gravitate around the enigmatic ring leader Eloise.

And then I start watching the new series of Heroes and it turns out the writers have had pretty much the exact same idea. Ish.

Bah.

My order from JT’s Stockroom came in this week. Getting new stuff in the mail is always a treat, I feel like a kid at Christmas who just knows their mom bought them that new gaming system they have been begging for. I opened the package wearing a beaming smile, and pulled out some leather goods, a new buttplug, 32 feet of cotton rope and some nipple clamps. The new collar and matching wrist cuffs are done in beautiful red leather, a girl has to accessorize properly. I had to try everything on as soon as it was out of the box, to make sure it was to my liking. The collar fits high on my neck and it keeps me properly postured. The cuffs for the wrist fit tightly against the skin leaving no room for friction rashes. What better excuse to play than buying new toys and leather gear? I was getting myself worked up thinking of the ways my new toys could be put to use but my husband Jack told me that it was not yet time and I had to put them away until he was ready to play.

Later that night we sent the dog to bed, lit a few scented candles, and put on some music. Jack helped me put on my collar and wrist cuffs, checking to make sure everything was good and tight. My eyes were covered with my red satin blindfold and I was laid on the bed where he began to tie rope around my legs. He wound the rope around my ankles, binding them tightly, and moving up the legs and thighs so that I could not move unless he moved me. As he brought the rope up around my waist and linked it to another strand, the feeling of helplessness sunk in. My wrists were being bound together through the rings on each cuff, and after that he strung the rope through the ring on my new collar. The only movements I could make were small and insignificant. I could see nothing, but could sense Jack’s hand flowing over my skin checking each rope carefully as we all know too much slack in rope causes friction burns. While some may find burns on the skin sexually arousing I do not and prefer to avoid them at all cost. I started feeling his mouth as he pulled back strands of rope and kissed the skin underneath. He focused on my breasts and then I felt it, the crack of a rubber flogger hitting my nipple. I arched my back as the stinging sensation moved from my breast and surged like electricity though my entire body. A strike landed across the other nipple, and then on my stomach. Jack ran the rubber strands up and down my leg, lightly slapping my thighs. He rolled me over and I waited, not knowing what to expect next. I took a fair whipping across my naked ass and thighs, Jack alternated between using his hands and a leather Cat-O-nine tails. He has grown more confident in using the cat whip, when we first started playing with it he took great care to avoid hurting me. These days I rarely find myself ordering him to hit me harder, it’s become easier to give over and let him dominate me. With my ass perched in the air, red with a mix of whip marks and hand prints, My Husband took advantage of the postition and ran a cold glass wand over my hot skin. I could do nothing to stop this, the ice cold sensation gave me shivers I begged “No please it’s so cold! Please stop!” He didn’t stop, he kept on until I stopped making noises. Jack continued on with the whippings. He alternated between the flogger, cat, and his hand until we had both reached a point of satisfaction with our bondage session and proceeded into passionate lovemaking which would have on it’s own been captivating and satisfying.

When we had both finished we laid on the bed and relaxed for a moment. I was covered in sweat and still bound with rope, waiting for my husband to untie me and set me free when he was ready. The smell of sex and leather still lingered in the air of our bedroom hours after we had moved on to other mundane household activities.

By CHARLES HAPPELL

When Melbourne Cup-winning jockey Corey Brown was fined $500 yesterday for the celebratory love-tap of his mount Shocking as they passed the finishing post on Tuesday, we truly crossed the rubicon: we can now say with some certainty that the narks, nannies and do-gooders have taken over Australian life.

Brown had twice finished second in the great race – on Mr Prudent in 2002 and, in the most agonising of near-misses, on Bauer last year. He’s also managed a third placing as well, on Lahar in 1999. When he finally got Shocking clear of the field to crack the greatest win of his career, Brown gave his 500kg mount an exultant tap on the shoulder with one of the new officially-sanctioned padded whips.

Responding to the growing hysteria in the media over recent years about the use of whips in racing – The Australian has relentlessly and tediously banged on about it - the VRC stewards called Brown in for an explanation. They didn’t want to be seen to be condoning this shocking practice of giving a horse an over-zealous pat, so they looked sternly over their half-moon glasses and called Brown to account. The jockey said he merely flicked his wrist in a celebratory gesture and did not believe there was enough evidence the whip made contact with the horse.

The stewards disagreed and handed down their fine for ‘unnecessary” use of the whip – $500 - which is a piddling, token punishment anyway. But that’s another matter.

I heard Brown’s fellow-jockey Michael Rodd speaking on radio yesterday, before he piloted Faint Perfume to victory in the Oaks later in the day, and he was aghast at the suggestion jockeys – and trainers and owners for that matter – would ever knowingly inflict pain on a horse, or sanction cruelty in any way on one of their stable. Rodd said he was an animal lover; he said the horses received the best possible veterinary attention, were mollycoddled in comfortable stables and wanted for nothing. The tone of his voice suggested he was aggrieved at the very notion he, or the vast majority of his colleagues, would needlessly flog what is essentially their meal ticket.   

Listening to Labor Party powerbroker Graham Richardson on the ABC show, Q+A, last night, I thought immediately of Rodd’s remarks. Asked about the whipping debate in racing, Richardson said he was first taken to the races in Sydney as a five-year-old boy, and had been going pretty much ever since – which meant the past 55 years. He said horses had always been cajoled along by jockeys with the whip – sometimes more zealously than they should have been – but it had generally been done in a reasonable way. The anti-whip hysteria had only developed a life of its own in recent years. He said he thought everyone should take a deep breath and calm down because the debate was becoming irrational.

PEKAN – A TEACHER who taught religion, amongst other subjects, was sentenced to three months’ jail and a RM13,000 (S$5,300) fine by the Magistrates Court here for molesting two nine-year-old female pupils four years ago.

Magistrate Emma Shahriana Ali meted out the punishment on Shaharudin Mat Hasan, 38, from SK Belimbing here, after finding him guilty of having molested the nine-year-olds at the computer laboratory of SK Sri Makmur, Pekan in August 2005. He had kissed the girls besides fondling their breasts and private parts.

He was charged under Section 354 of the Penal Code for the offences and was liable to be jailed a maximum of 10 years or fined or whipped or any two of the above.

The accused was arrested on Oct 17, 2005, charged on Oct 25, 2005 and was relased on RM6,000 bail before being transferred to SK Belimbing.

Shaharudin, who was represented by counsel Muhd Hisham Abdul Rahim, appeared nonchalant when the sentence was read out to him.

Earlier, Deputy Public Prosecutor ASP Zawawee Ibrahim urged the court to impose a stiff punishment as Shaharudin, who taught religion and English at the school, had betrayed the people’s trust in him. Magistrate Emma Shahriana then set bail at RM10,000 in one surety pending the appeal process. — BERNAMA/ THE STAR

Take one part Steve Wynn Dream Syndicate guitar, 2 parts Raspberry puree, one part voice of emotive  the love child of Serj Tankian and Tommy Shaw (find it in the  alt / prog rock section of your local Trader’s preferably the one in Glendale,) dust lightly with some finely ground Mothers of Invention, and finally add a pinch “Exploding Plastic Inevitable”.   Mix well.  Add two teaspoons John Fruisciante  into the mixture and boil down to a nice reduction.  Let cool, add two drops of alt / prog / Roger Waters and whip to a slight screamo (wait until you see peaks).   Mix some  Thurston Moore (be sure not to use any Kim Gordon though) pour into  a  9×12 ungreased pan and set aside.  Now, prepare your oven.  setting it to “burn / sizzle and pop” and trip out on the fog that forms inside.  Put the visceral confection in the oven at 425 for 30 minutes.  Soon the concoction will ignite and send sparks in all directions!  What you have here is a creation that will burn your hands but… you won’t be able to move away!!  Pour this eclectic, yummy paroxysm into your limited edition “Nick Cave” serving plate and enjoy!  Feel the sweet burn as each bite of this prodidgeous culinary course goes down.  Aint it kinda beautiful?

The Lenormand Heart card speaks of love, feelings and emotions. The Whip for me is about strife, conflict and discord.

Heart + Whip: Fight with a loved one.

Whip + Heart: An emotional argument.

You know what I love? Coming back from hiatus to an inbox stuffed with fan mail. Like Jay, who wants me to watch him jerk off on webcam. Or SandyBunny, who wants to buy the exercise machine I’ve been trying to unload since spring. But you know what’s even better? The hate mail. There’s nothing that reaffirms a catty, insensitive bitch’s self-value like catty, insensitive diatribes from random bitches. So lets dip into the pot of festering cock-envy and pull out a few gems.

One loyal reader that we’ll call “Jen Connors” (“417 Elm St, Dansing, Connecticut”) just had to weigh in on the overall tone of my blog. She says it’s “adult” and may offend young web surfers. Well, Jen, I think it’s pretty apparent that I didn’t write my piece on Craig’s List whores for a bunch of whiny slit kittens still dangling from a wet placenta. But if they happen on it, fuck ‘em. They’re gonna learn about the birds and the bees somewhere. Might as well be at the hands of a nymphopedobeastialnecrophiliac with an untraceable IP. If you don’t want your cabbages to read, blind them. Bonus: You don’t have to lock them in the closet while you shoot heroin. If they don’t actually witness it, they can’t testify.

I’ve had a universal call for blood over my use of the word “fag” in September. Intellectually, I understand that the word has evolved from an English slang term used to describe elderly and unpleasant women (like we use “canvas-cunted circus whore” today). It is best used to describe a feminine subject with undesirable traits. Like emo kids. On the other hand, I don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology. Within my dominion, I am god. If you didn’t think it was funny, blame it on having a sense of humor like whipped diaper-pail cream, not on my unwillingness to pander to it. And if that doesn’t work, I can always use the “I’m part of the GLBT community, so I can say it” card. Either way, fuck off.

But this is my absolute favorite. I consider the post itself to be a mild boil-over, but the comment I received is priceless. Thank you, Lola, for setting the record straight. Of course we wouldn’t be nearly as shocked if we knew that the woman was practicing adult neurology without a license. And we should, of course, always think of the children. But only select children. Because the children of the patients she treated have no right to be upset that some unqualified psycho was living her dream by poking around in their parents’ heads without any training whatsoever. Oh, and avoid any attempts at spell-check. Perfect. Any other limp-wristed twat waffles want to prove my theory of human inferiority?

So, it’s back to the grindstone… I just hope I still have some spleens to grind. You may not know this, but ground spleen is a proven homeopathic supplement that curdles bile into an ink-like substance. Doesn’t hurt if you harvest your organs from wayward nuns. In an alley behind a deli of ill repute. Under a full moon. While incanting. But watch your incantations. If you end up summoning Count Chocula, you’re just stupid. But if you find yourself staring into the endless face of Nyarlathotep, you’re fucked.