Let’s not split hairs: we eat meat.  We enjoy eating meat.  We will never stop eating meat.  But if we were to stop eating meat, we probably couldn’t have a better reason than one of these ladies.

Dominique Swain

In her role in Face-Off, Swain jams a butterfly knife into someone’s leg.  In her role in this PETA ad, Swain jams the once totally separate fields of pro-animal rights advertising and child pornography together in an unholy union of guilty hotness.  Why is the totally-legal-I-swear Swain playing Lolita in an ad which hopes to prevent animal cruelty?  Well, she did play Lolita in a made for TV movie first, but I prefer to think it’s because I had a dream in which I commanded it.

Joanna Krupa

Joanna Krupa, or “The Krupster” as she’s known to her many friends and lovers (let’s start that pointless rumor), is extremely… talented.  She also has the distinction of being probably the most naked anybody has ever been for a PETA photo shoot.  Generally people have a prop of some sort.  A top hat, a cane.  A bottle of water.  An embarrassed glare.  Or maybe their entire body isn’t visible.  Something.  Not Joanna.  She’s got shoes and a necklace, which is all a true lady ever really needs.

Maggie Q

Maggie Q is best known for being the young-looking chick of ambiguous ethnicity who, when you see her, you can’t quite place where you’ve seen her before, but you want to go back to that place and see her again.  That place was most likely either Mission Impossible III or Live Free and Die Hard.  She also gains points for naming herself after the gadget guy from James Bond.  Nah, her last name used to be Quigley.  See?  She still made the right choice.

Imogen Bailey

For a country tilled in the blood of prisoners, Australia has managed to produce an astounding amount of hot women, of which Imogen Bailey is almost certainly the hottest one named Imogen.  Possibly the hottest overall, too, as is clearly exhibited by her anti-fur ad.  She’s so hot, it almost makes me want to take off my bunny-fur coat and think about replacing my bunny-fur carpeting, seat covers, window shades, toupee and book bindings.  Almost.

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes would find her way onto any list of Five Hottest Things For Which It Could Possibly Be Argued That Eva Mendes Qualifies.  In fact, even if she hadn’t posed for the above picture, I’d still have been tempted to add her to the list just because it would have felt incomplete otherwise.  Also, to her credit, Ms. Mendes recently managed to do something that no other Hollywood starlet in recent years has managed to pull off:  she checked into rehab with dignity.

Written by Judge Reinholden

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Karina Smirnoff nip slip!