This can be such a lovely time of year. It can also be a tough one. It is very hard for me to hear stories that show the sadness of what the economy has done.  I was horrified to hear about the person who posted on Craigslist and when the persons came to pick up what they had purchased, they decided to rob the seller instead. I understand we are all having a hard time. I know I have been and using every penny I find in the car or couch is not an understatement. But I find hurting others like this, who are no better off than you, is hard for me to stomach.

But I have seen other acts of kindness that make my heart warm again.  A colleague at work collects toys and clothes for Project Homeless Connect here in Omaha. He will have a big togetherness for all in the Civic Auditorium and bring much happiness and joy to so many. This is an incredibly selfless act and makes me truly appreciate the human spirit.  We have done much in my workplace for the food bank when so many more this year are hurting and just want to have a meal.

I think there many of us doing all we can. The only challenge is that many of us are hurting in our own ways too.  I see so many people trying to sell personal items to make some extra money to buy food, pay bills, let alone get a little something for their kids.  I know that I have personally feel like I am coasting on fumes until the first business day of the New Year, or payday. Once a month paydays are very tough for me after all the bills are paid in the first week, especially when I want to give money to all the pet charities, the bell ringers, the Food Bank, the shelters, and. Well I could go on. I have a stack of mail from needy charities and I want to give to every single one.  I hope the new year brings many things to all. But more than anything, I hope it brings peace of mind and heart to each and every one of us.

I just read this amazing quote that I wanted to share. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller.  I have had a few profound experiences like this lately in which I was not able to put into words how I felt.  Sure this can be true when talking about love, but that wasn’t my topic the other day.

I felt like Jodie Foster’s character in the movie Contact in which she is in the cosmos seeing the beauty of it all and she remarks that they should have sent a poet because she didn’t know how to describe how amazing everything looked to her.  Well, that happened to me recently in which I was touched by a friend’s heart with regard to an issue I was chatting about with her.  Right now, my gratitude overfloweth.  Do you ever have those moments?

There has been a lot of talk about happiness lately.  One night on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson, he shared a study that indicated that as women age they get unhappier, while the reverse is true for men.  It was stated that women concentrate on career and having a family and once that is essentially behind them, they become unhappier as life goes by.  I have heard of studies that indicate men are happier being married, while the reverse is true for women.   Researchers have been looking at country happiness and the US was not the happiest of them all.  I state this not to agree or disagree (though I disagree that I am getting unhappier as I get older – it’s been quite the opposite).

For more than three years now, I have really been soaking up research, articles, books, blogs, interviews about positive psychology, happiness, courage, and resiliency.  It’s been a fascinating journey for me.  As someone who has been to therapists for various reasons (after college, after my divorce, etc.), I have spent plenty of time looking back.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking back to understand your present, but eventually you need to start looking forward.  Positive psychology has been that catalyst that has assisted me in looking forward and is what took me into coaching.  It is my calling and I never would have found it without changing my perspective.

I hope you are on a quest toward something – it’s one of the healthiest and happiest ways you can be.  To be a searcher, a learner, a discoverer of your own life is a real motivator. If you are interested in learning more about Happiness Clubs in your area, click here. If you are in the Omaha, Nebraska area, join me.

Mother Teresa once said, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

I think this is such a powerful statement because appreciation and gratitude is such a powerful tool, and when people are appreciated, it brings about a huge sense of accomplishment, value, power, and happiness to their life.

The great part about appreciating others is that it’s so easy!

So, who have you appreciated today?

I’d like to encourage you to think about who you have (or haven’t) appreciated lately. Take just a minute or two to write people’s names down…and the next time you see them, make a point to appreciate them for the blessings they bring to your life.

I know I make this point frequently and Jack Canfield probably reaches more than I ever will in my lifetime, but that doesn’t make the message that less important for today and tomorrow!

So, who have you appreciated today?

I don’t believe in the ONE. I believe in an idea. An idea of  a perfect someone. An idea that is more or less fulfilled by someone. You should agree with me if you ever got over someone you loved and realized that if anyone else had their qualities and whatever it is that you adore about them, there’d be absolutely no difference. It’s just that it’s not the easiest thing to find such a person and spending time and emotions on them makes it all grow even larger. That’s all. No such thing as the one.

NIKON D700+20mm

As many of you might know the lawyer for the city of Dearborn Heights posted a comment that I did put up here that who ever was posting here, and putting comments would be “unearthed” his word not mine. Well this past week he is all over the news papers claiming that he is an Arab American, and he would take great offense if the Mayor was prejudice, and so on. Well I have  found two case’s that he had the chance to be on the side of an Arab American, but no dear readers he is fighting the Arab American in each case.

The first case is two Arab Americans sue Meijer for discrimination he is on the side of Meijer corp.

The next case also involves and Arab American, and once again Mr. Acho has taken up against the Arab American. You can read this case here.

It makes no difference to me if he is a self hating Arab American, just please if you will Sir stop running around telling every news paper in town how you would have known if he hated Arab American, and you do not believe that the Mayor is prejudice  when it looks from what I can see you are yourself sir. This is my opinion, and last time I looked I was free to have one, and express it with out getting sued or threatened for having it.

Have you heard of this book? This blog? This guy?  Well, now you have!  Check it out.

The book was a great read but more than that, I really appreciated Colin’s honesty about this project.  It definitely makes you look within and see how you are living your own life.  I was impressed in so many ways and shocked too.  I dog-eared a ton of pages and it had a profound impact on me.  I hope you will read the book or check out the blog. Or even go see the documentary from their yearlong journey.

His wife and child also participated and to read his wife’s perspective on this via a column in Business Week (reposted on his blog) was also brutally honest about her life and the changes this yearlong experiment had on her as well.

I am sure some of you wonder about my latest movies and books. Between Food Inc., Better Off, and now The No Impact Man, you would consider me a very organic, vegetarian, of the earth kind of person. Well, I am trying to be. I don’t often eat meat and never cook it.  I do wish to be more reliant on farmers markets and other similar farm options year over year.  I think it takes each of us to make adjustments and just keep making them.

… anything new to share.

Except maybe this:

Not sorry if we irk you. Haha!  This is me and Bea Junior.
Our faces are only slightly smaller than this, in reality.  Thanks to the ‘BULGE’ effect on Photobooth for the boost!

Taken at the two-day getaway/sleepover with sisters, sans maman (without mother).  Highly needed.

Back to pretending to read Britannicus by Racine. hehe.

zFlea over at Be A Survivor Blog did a post entitled Peer Into My Mind, and I found it interesting to get some background into who he is.  It gave me an idea: Since I know many of the people who read my blog also read his blog, maybe we could all get to know each other a bit better if we started a chain of Peer Into My Mind posts.  Here’s mine:

I’m a 33 year old white male.  I originally posted this saying I was 34, but my wife assures me I’m wrong.

My undergraduate degree was in Political Science with a minor in Legal Studies.  I also earned a law degree, but I don’t practice law.

I think that astrology is a collection of observations about personality types that dates back thousands of years.  I don’t believe it can predict the future and I don’t believe that your personality is determined by when you were born.  Having said all of that, I am a Gemini by both birth and personality.  The definitive Gemini, in fact.  Communicator, able to see and hold opposing aspects of any situation, mood, or belief, constantly at war with myself, bores quickly.

Like a true Gemini, my political beliefs are all over the map.  I’m conservative on some issues and downright socialist on others.  If I’m forced to identify with a party, I think Libertarian is most accurate, but only because it gives me the most freedom to roam.

I can be an idealist and a cynic simultaneously.

I get bored with routine.  I need to be surrounded with dynamic people and dynamic situations.

I like the word dynamic.

My wife is my one true love and my best friend has been the same (whether I knew it or not) since I was 11.  Readers of this blog will know him as Drake Tungsten.  I make casual friends easily, but only two people have made it to my inner circle.  I like it that way.

I work in a job that I enjoy on a superficial level but that brings me very little personal satisfaction.  My company, however, takes excellent care of me.  401k, Pension, life, health, dental, et cetera.  I could even have pet insurance if I wanted it.  Frankly, I’d rather have a higher salary.

I am a father of 4.

My religious beliefs are in flux at the moment.  Most recently, I was Catholic.  I think I’m more spiritual than religious.

I’m a Veteran, but I’m happy to say that I never had to experience combat.  I would have fought proudly and without hesitation, but the situation never demanded it of me.  The unit I went to was the one that was turned around on the way to Haiti (that was before my time).  They deployed to Kosovo two months after I left.

I am a military brat and have had a total of 8 step-parents.

Like Flea, I have a 401k and I contribute the maximum my company will match.  To do anything else would be silly in my opinion … that’s free money baby.

I don’t think the government is my enemy – big corporations are.

I don’t wear a tinfoil hat.  Tin blocks nothing.  Aluminum is where it’s at.

I vote in every election with a few exceptions recently due to work demands.  I always bring my kids with me to vote.

I’m proud of the fact that I qualified expert with every weapon I touched in the Army except the Beretta, and I never got to fire that.  This fact bothered me so much that I once recreated the test on a private indoor firing range and qualified expert.  A quick count suggests that I qualified as an expert with 9 weapon systems, not counting the Beretta.

I don’t currently own a gun, but I love to shoot (and I’m pretty darned good at it).

I write poetry, fiction, and non-fiction.  I’m currently working on an article for Backwoodsman Magazine, an epic fantasy novel, and a wilderness survival manual.

I love movies.  Even bad ones.

My hobby is collecting hobbies.

I have a budding interest in HAM radio and plan to test for my technician license in early 2010.

I decided to join the military when I was 10 and began calling the recruiter every year until I was old enough to join.  I was something of a mascot for the Army Recruiter’s office and I outlasted 5 recruiters.

I signed my paperwork to join the Army as a junior in high school, 20 days after I turned 17 via the Delayed Entry Program.  I chose one of the most physically demanding and tough jobs in the Army (Infantry with an Airborne/Ranger option).  I was 5′10″, 118 lbs, and VERY naive at the time.  I began active duty 4 days after I graduated high school.

I left the Army 40 lbs stronger, 4 years older, and an inch shorter than when I joined.  I was also a lot less naive.

During Basic Training, I broke the neck of my right femur (the part just under the ball of the ball and socket joint in your hip) and spent 6 months in physical rehabilitation.  The break was not due to any accident or trauma.  It was simply a function of not having enough muscle structure to support the weight and stress of training to be an Army Infantryman.

Immediately after the injury, I was told I would likely need a cane for the rest of my life and that I’d be kicked out of the Army when I had healed up.  I graduated basic training and advanced infantry training 8 months later.  I don’t need a cane or even have a limp.  I do feel the injury when the weather changes though.

During advanced infantry training, I was told I’d never be cleared for Airborne School.  I graduated from Airborne school 7 weeks later and began the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP).

I was accepted into West Point while in the Army, but was later asked to resign when they found out about my hip injury.  Their reason was that I was not physically equipped to attend West Point due to my injury.  Then they sent me back to the 82nd Airborne to continue jumping out of airplanes.

I never attended Ranger School…see the who am I section of this blog for the explanation of my nickname.

I’m in a movie for about 1.5 seconds.  It’s a documentary called After Innocence.  The movie is about wrongful convictions – a field that I worked on heavily during Law School and the film crew showed up to my Wrongful Convictions class on the last day of class before my last set of final exams.  I was so distracted by the guest speaker that day that I completely forgot about the film crew being there.  Years later, my wife and I got the movie from Netflix and were surprised to see me in it.

I used to be obsessed with politics.  Currently, I’m disgusted by them.

I have very odd views about the justice system.  I think, for example, that less people should go to prison, but I also think prison should be harder in terms of punishment and less dangerous in terms of personal safety.  In other words, prison shouldn’t be fun or easy, but it also shouldn’t put someone in danger of being raped or killed – even rapists and killers.

I love the British sense of humor, and even some of the food.  I’d like the food a lot more if I liked lamb, fish, or organ meats.

I’m an odd mix of alcoholic genetic tendencies.  I’m Irish, Scottish, German, and Native American.  My father looks like a native american…dark skin, jet black hair.  I tend to be pale and freckled.

According to my Father, who has studied my family’s genealogy extensively, I’m related to both Robert the Bruce and Edward I (Longshanks).  See the movie Braveheart.

My interest in Bushcraft, Survival, and Preparedness is a direct result of having been unemployed and feeling helpless to take care of my family for a few months.  NEVER again.

I’ve had 4 years of Spanish and 2 years of German and I don’t speak or write either one…I can comprehend spoken Spanish fairly well though.

I suffer horribly from a seasonal disorder known as McDonald’s Monopoly.

So there’s a collection of odd trivia about a somewhat odd person.  Hopefully, if you ever wonder where my views come from – this post will give you some insight.

We’ve been having lobby-jazz binges here at the Loft965.com headquarters and this new video from up-and-coming chanteuse Meaghan Smith is just what the doctor prescribed. Her new album is called The Cricket’s Orchestra and it’s available on iTunes.

Is are can software architects be/have/build a profession? Its a question that I have heard asked and listened to the debate around a number of times.

The three common threads:

1. Defining who and what architects are so that we can build that into the “bio” of a profession
2. Finding the common ground (Enterprise Architects, Information Architects, Business Architects. There often seems to be a measurable gulf between the who and what of the various roles. I’ve heard it called Glass Walls or even worse. But in reality is there?
3. Finding the why (value proposition) for architects moving forward. What value does a software architect bring to the business?

I have heard 100 different variations on these themes. I have heard many reasons why not and many reasons why.

It tells me that we are nearer to a profession now that we are arguing the rules of naming then we have been in the past. But it still feels like a long road ahead.

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I first became aware of Amazon’s Kindle in April of 2008. I explored it and thought it was interesting.  I considered it but thought it was too early to make a buy and held off. I reconsidered again in March of 2009 (both times blogging about it).  I went back and forth based on feedback from those that did have it and even looked at some of the upcoming purchases I wanted to make to see if it was offered on the Kindle. I again held off.

Well, Amazon has had a few new iterations since then and the price has come down considerably. I have looked up numerous books I would like to read, old and new. There are classics that are free to download – how cool – and many books on my wish list now on Kindle.  Despite already making plans to mark my 40th in a very unique and substantial way, I decided to purchase this as a combo birthday present (another one!) and Christmas gift.

Do you have one? Are you happy with your purchase?  Mine is charging as we speak. I have downloaded a number of literature classics I haven’t read in a long time as well as one on the bestseller list.  I noticed that some of my textbooks could also be downloaded at a ridiculous savings over the hardback.  What a way to spend a snowy afternoon in Omaha!

I asked the Twitterverse a question earlier last week. My tweet was simply: “People make mistakes. Is there a limit to what you will forgive?”  I received some interesting direct messages from people.  I am sure you think murder, adultery, lying, stealing and such would be high on the list. They were. Some consider these a break in trust so great, there is no regaining of that trust; not under any circumstances. But there were others who said that they could forgive anyone anything if the person was remorseful, apologetic and if necessary, served time for the crime through community service, a fine, or incarceration.

Is trust limitless or finite? Do you have a limit to what you will forgive a person and then move forward?

It has been an interesting decade in terms of scandals.  I am not going to rehash the big one’s in our largest organizations but suffice it to say, September 28th’s Business Week shared that only 44% of American trust businesses today compared to 58% two years ago.  That may not be significant, but that Fall seems to be the pinnacle of American’s trust in big business in an 8 year period. It has also led to a cascade of leadership books dedicated to the topic of trust.

Recently, there has been onslaught of politicians caught in adulterous situations. And in recent days, David Letterman has admitted to having affairs with members of his staff. And this is a man who has made millions off making fun of the very same people he himself is just like.  Does this make you question his credibility and integrity? For Letterman in particular, this came to light due to an extortion plot. We do not know if his wife had been previously aware and their relationship already through a healing process.

The question isn’t that they made these mistakes. That is a conversation for another post. The question is, could you forgive a mistake like that? What would it take? Could you rebuild the trust that has been shattered?

I was with a boyfriend many years ago that stole from me.  For me, the trust was gone. I never believed anything he said and questioned every word that was uttered.  I could not get past the lies nor the stealing, mainly because he was never genuinely sorry and because he was a repeat offender.  Had he been truly sorry and didn’t repeat the act, I would have been able to move on and would have been able to trust him again.  For me, there was a limit to what I could forgive with this person.

I believe that we all make mistakes. We are human.  Sometimes temptations do get the best of us despite our beliefs in ourself. It becomes a crisis of faith. Not just for the person who was affected, but also for the person who committed the act. I am not condoning any action a person has committed. But I do believe people on both sides of the issue have reactions to the situation.

This, I believe, is the true heart of the situation. How could someone make the mistake to begin with? How is it that this one time, they were not able to resist temptation? But just as the person is asking this questions to the guilty, I believe that same person is asking himself these very questions. These are not easy questions.  There aren’t always easy answers.

People make mistakes. Is there a limit to what you will forgive?

I caught this artist chillaxin’ at the Promenade on the Peninsula in Rancho Palos Verdes. Specializing in low-fire ceramic roses, her work is featured in the Lesal Signature Collection. She loves to garden and enjoys spending time at Point Fermin. Can YOU guess who this  local is?

If you are a blogger in the Omaha area, consider joining the Omaha Blog Co. meetup.  This newly formed meetup is being organized by Danny Schreiber, the Managing Editor of Silicon Prairie News, a truly fantastic organization in the Omaha area.

See you there!

Anissa

I was in my car listening to the radio the other day. Every time the station dj’s starting talking, I would change to another station trying to find music. I noticed that when I did find a station with music, I would often try other stations to see if there was a different, maybe better?, song to listen to.

It got me thinking, is this a metaphor for life?  How much one is looking for something better than what already exists? Not everyone does this I am sure. I don’t even always do this. But it did make me wonder.

This is how I felt Thursday. It’s not quite to like my thoughts of hurtling through space I had once talked about, but it felt akin to that.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I feel like I am doing a lot and I want to do even more.  I know, that sounds crazy.  But I have so many ideas, so many things I want do and try.  I worked from home Thursday and had many traditional work things to do, which was not the problem.  It was that the more I did, the more calls I got, the more emails I received, the more research I did, the more ideas that came charging at me.  I don’t consider this bad at all, at least not for me. In the past 5 years or so, I have no idea why, but ideas seem to keep coming and coming to me.  I feel like John Travolta’s character in Phenomenon (a fave movie of mine), though hopefully without the tumor. My questions to myself are more like is this happening because I am more aware? Am I more curious than ever despite always being a curious person?  Or is that I now have more ability than ever to implement some of my ideas?  Something for me to ponder.

My challenge has been how do I decide what to do next.  Or how to organize the ideas so that I can do a few instead of all of them.  That is probably the actual heart of my issue – I want to start moving forward on all of my ideas. I don’t often think of what makes sense to start based on what is currently going on my life or when ideas would be better served by waiting, etc.  Do you ever do this – just charge forth without thinking only later to think to yourself, I probably should have waited a few months to do this?

My other challenge is having that feeling like it’s all too much.  Work responsibilities, school responsiblities, and generally enjoying my life with friends and family and then all these ideas on top of it.  I want to do it all and in thinking this, I often feel scattered across too many areas, and as I thought on Thursday, feeling like I was in a state of disarray.   I am not fond of this feeling. I tend to clean when this happens as a way to think. I am not sure the role of cleaning has in my ruminating, but it works for me.  I would presume that by cleaning, I am helping to clean up  my thoughts too.  Maybe that is it because after I am done and my place is spotless, or as in Thursday’s case it was  my desk and office, I feel able to tackle just about anything.  I am curious. Do you ever get into state of disarray and what do you do to get out of it?

I have read many bloggers talking about email lately.  Zen Habits discussed the elimination of email all together and has since reduced his email usage quite significantly, but not all together. Productivity 501 shares best practices for email usage. Today, I received an email (!!) from the Thin Pink Line discussing this very same addiction, as they referred to it.

There are some tried and true email rules that are frequently shared in some of these blogger’s posts. Or in articles or magazines. Some of them are: don’t check email when you first get up or get into the office.  Only check email once in the morning and once in the afternoon.  Turn off the new email chime as well as the little envelope that appears in your lower right status bar so that you are not a slave to new mail arriving.

It is interesting that you notice those things that you are actually wondering about within yourself.  I noticed one day in the recent past that I was basically in my work email all day long. I was constantly refreshing and just basically being less than productive because I was allowing myself to become a slave to the emails that I thought might come in, or actually did.  I noticed I did this for most of the day up through dinner. As I was sitting and having dinner, I thought about what I needed to do the next day and realized that I had wasted the day being less than productive on other work I wanted to accomplish. All because I either checked my email constantly or worked from my email all day long.

This is highly inefficient and definitely not the best use of my time.  The following weekend, I promptly turned off my computer and turned off my cell phone. I enjoyed a weekend filled with time, meeting up with friends and luxuriously enjoying their company, and being outside without a care in the world.  I felt like I was on vacation.  My brain didn’t feel taxed and I didn’t feel twitchy because my email was dinging away at me.  It was by far the least technically attached I have been in a while. I highly recommend it.  Maybe you don’t turn off your cell like I did if that is your only telephonic source, but instead you turn off the beeps or vibrations of your email and text.  All I can say is, it was a relief to not be so connected.  Have you changed your email habits lately?