+ it makes the cranberry juice last longer…

+ in preparation for the K-Ci and JoJo reality show…get your DVRs ready as it may not see 6 episodes…

+ working on a beer gut…heard it will improve my chances with Christina Milian…

+ helps me sleep through the construction going on right outside of my place that conveniently starts at 7am…

+ Oscar Grant…seriously we can’t live in a country where this is continually tolerated…

and extra libations for:

+ all the people that “like” the Facebook page…I like you too…

+ my big sister for continuing to get older and therefore making me the little brother forever…oh yeah happy birthday and your gift is in LA…sorry must be present to win…

+ Z. Davis and L. Love for passing go one more time…too bad the banker just ran out of $100s…

+ all the ladies that take those sexy twitter profile pics that make you click into them to see the bigger image…make these guys work ladies…

onetrik…mr. internet-bottle popper…

- 7 weeks in and they still haven’t deactivated my work badge…

- that ice gets lonely in there…

- the oil in the gulf stopped flowing so these drinks are gonna have to pick up its slack…

- because it makes every song my favorite song…

- mel gibson and i were sitting around talking about our problems and you know how we do…

special round to

- u mccarley and c wright for successful birth canal trips… and all the gbs ladies falling through the city this weekend…

and pouring out a little for g steinbrenner…

your turn ubf peeps…whats causing to kiss them glasses this week…

elrockjr…i only have a drinking problem when the drinks run out…

+ in Vegas this weekend for bachelor festivities…no other reasons needed…

and pouring out a little happy juice for:

+ all the cities that lost the LBJ sweeps…drink up…

+ r. gay and j. johnson for robbing the NBA this summer…

+ z. saldana for the new CK gig…now I understand why you were to busy to return my calls…

+ u. mccarley on joining us on the other side of 29…

+ b. riddhagni on hitting a quarter…now just avoid the crisis…

onetrik…mr. i may need bail money…

- internship half over and they haven’t fired me yet…

- inside the park homerun at citifield…intern softball it’s underwhelming…

- because i like my sweat to be flammable…

- the landlord sprung for ac so when the temps topped 100 this week i didn’t have to sleep in my flammable sweat…

- lebron…south beach…believe me…i understand…

special toast this week to

- a bostic, c bearfield, j white and my favorite cousin k thompson for being born…and reminding us on facebook…

- b lacey and the atl happy hour crew (theatlantahappyhour.com)…that’s a cause i can believe in…

- pouring out a little for my guy d henry…living that cube life at 6’7″ this summer…

elrock…the round after next is on me…

+ the first week of july is the only time billionaires fly around the country trying to convince 20-something yr old black men to take millions from them…should we consider moving Juneteenth??

+ TMZ hasn’t quite caught on to my favorite spots so no worries for incriminating footage…

+ it makes Kim K.’s wax figure seem less waxy…

+ these bottles aren’t going to drink themselves…it is my responsibility and you know how we black men are with our responsibilities…

+ [insert Tiger Woods joke]

+ kelloggs cereal recall so I need to get my morning calories from somewhere…

+ headed to NYC to celebrate America’s birthday…hoping she has some cute friends at the party…

And a special clink clank to…

+ a. babrow and o. howard on reaching that additional lap in the age olympics…

+ the FBI for spying on them spies…

+ Phil Jackson for coming back to the Lakers…and the eventual 3-peat…

onetrik…mr. i’m buying, you declining, now that’s kind of bizarre…

- 5 weeks down…

- i just realized my max contract is gonna be missing some zeros…

- thanks to the landlord, there are cool breezes flowing through my summer home…

- “blame it on the meth amphetamine” is not nearly as catchy…

- the homies have descended on the big apple for the holiday…i’m sure i’m going to do some stuff i need to forget…

- microsoft killed the kin before i had a chance to meet someone with it and laugh at them…

- had to stock up before the city of cleveland buys up all the henn to mourn the loss of the franchise…but at least delonte west can smash in peace now…

raising my glass a little higher for:

- t parker, s brown, j davis and t riley for another year invested…

- pouring out some liquor for michael scott (steve carrell) leaving the office…

elrock…the round after next is on me…

it’s your turn ubf folks…what has you on that sippy sippy this week…

welcome back ubf fam…the virtual happy hour has descended upon you once again…just lay back and let those libations wash away work time blues…what has us drinking this week…well i thought you’d never ask…

- week 4…paycheck #2…

- my summer pad doesn’t have ac…the fan cools my body…the cup content cools my soul

- that last minute u.s. goal made me spill my first drink…

- i didn’t see her cold sore until the next morning…it’s about suppression…

- it helps me make sense of this bp clean up plan…

- i heard somebody say something about them ending slavery this week…

- somebody has to hide the liquor from the children…

special toasts to the…

- the azalis for receiving them freedom papers…

- q dub, j strickland, nikib, eb johnson, naledin…for being born in different years during the same week…

- pouring out a little for the king of pop…

elrock…i can’t help it if i wanted to…

+ the world cup makes it ok to show up at work late with a smell of liquor on your breath…

+ BET Awards…if it wasn’t for the parties I’d boycott…

+ tweeting and reading tweets is exponentially more “productive”…

+ California thinks creating ad space on license plates is a solution to the states financial problems…

+ to keep Ron Ron drunk…if we keep giving him drinks can his antics last until football season???

+ wash away my sorrows that Kim K. is dating Miles Austin…there goes my chance at winning a world championship…

And a special cheers to…

+ shinygreen…adding another candle to that birthday cake…thanks for the hook up this weekend with your homegirls too…

+ a. davis…welcome to the neighborhood…another east coaster converted to the best coast…who is next?

+ morningjoi…kudos on the new gig…now taking applications for work spouse…

+ Google…for beating Viacom and saving the internet…I’ll be checking my mail for my portion of the winnings daily…

onetrik…next rounds on me…

how about you ubf family…we already have bottles in hand…just let us know what we’re pouring for…

- 3 weeks down…

- the celtics came in 2nd place in the nba finals…

- i accidentally bumped into some manual labor yesterday and i need to wash that off…

- i have to do it to keep my aa membership…

- i bought my first tailored shirt which i will be doing everything in in about 6 weeks…

- pouring out a little for the “touchdown” jesus off of i75 between cinci and dayton…

and my special toasts go to…

- ron artest for being the most entertaining post championship interviewee since…ever…

- brother onetrik…sister shinygreen…and the rest of my laker loving compadres…great series…i would try to pass a drink to phil jackson, but with all those rings he probably wouldn’t be able to hold the glass…

- southerngirldesserts.com…what yall know about them sweet potato cupcakes…

and a huge boo to…
- ellevation for slapping happiness out of the minds of the masses by not taking that bet….

now we’re passing the mic to you good folks…give the ubf universe more reasons to touch these libations…

elrock…shaken not stirred…

– project internship…2 weeks down…10 to go…of course i’m killin em…

– i’ll be receiving my first pay check in roughly 46 weeks, 3 days, 3 hrs, 9 mins and 32 33 34 seconds…yeah…roughly…

– we’ll have to help the brits drown their sorrows after this world cup loss to the home team…

– i’m afraid if i don’t keep my kidneys occupied they might try to find work elsewhere…

– gotta get drunk before we get our b.a. baracus haircuts tomorrow…

– keeping that b in ubf…it’s not a blog…it’s a movement…

and special toast to…
– cousin nikki on the anniversary…still hate you though…

– j lucas and t ko for being born this week a while back…

– big baby davis for not being afraid to help wash the floor of the garden with his fat man mouth juices…

– van ders loot…you’re gonna need a lot of drinks where you going to rinse that ass…i mean salad taste out of your mouth…but you won’t get them from here…

how about you ubf fam…time to celebrate/drown our sorrows…what has you pouring them up today…

elrock…tha party…

- 1 work week down…11 to go…

- because nyc pigeons like making love outside my window at 6:13 am…

- hennessy burns when i try to snort it…

- needed something to wash down this viagra …

- we have summer fridays and i have to find a way to black out for the other half of the work day…

- we launched this blog called us, BOTTLES and friends…sooo…yeah…

and special toasts to…

- q dub on the promotion…

- g hills and es que on the graduations…

- nat b on that nati escape…

- all my people who are more employed today than they were this time last week…

- d fish for shouting out the crib…and the celts for coming back to win this series in 5…

- pouring out a little for gary coleman, blanche devereax and the ecosystem of the gulf coast…

- BP…no drinks for you…

elrock…on ice…

I love being a mom.  I love spending time with  my kids and teaching them new things. All that is great.  I am not, however, cut out for this potty-training thing.  Not sure what it is about a little pee pee in the potty that throws me for such a loop on the stress roller coaster.  Maybe because I don’t want to spend weeks cleaning up child waste, but also don’t want to psychologically damage said child . . . any more than  would be considered normal in the Dolan home.

BabyGirl is almost four.  And has been in diapers until the recent jump into training.  The big kids trained late, but were very pliable and eager-to-please.  BabyGirl?  Not so much.  A few weeks ago, I was able to sit her on the potty and get one (1) pee pee and one (1) surprise poo nugget.  After that, whenever we’d talk about how big girls go potty in the toilet, she’d look at me like I was a total idiot and reply, “I did go potty in the toilet.”  Like, she had checked that box and was quite happy to move on in her increasingly-snug diapers.

We tried the “oh-goodness-we’re-out-of-diapers” strategy.  We tried telling her she could choose any toy in the Wal-Mart if she used the toilet.  (And subsequently had to explain that this meant all. the. time. Not just that once.)  We told her that she could move up to the “big girl” Sunday school at church.  She replied that she wanted to be a baby and wear diapers forever.  She refused to watch any of us go.  She’d turn her back and hide her face in her hands.  She had no problem sitting in her own filth for hours or until the diapers began to leak.

So, three weeks ago, we started prepping her for the final push.  There was a big party at church a week away and we started telling her that after the party, there were no more daytime diapers.  She was very enthusiastic!  Yes, yes!  I can’t wait to go pee pee in the potty!  This is going to be awesome!

The day after the party, she was struck with a sudden case of amnesia.  Wait, what?  Potty who?  I spent an hour and a half that first morning kneeling on the floor of the church ladies’ room trying to reason with a three year-old.  (A futile endeavor, btw.)  But as soon as we got home, she had a successful potty visit.  Yay!  She still was a little resistant, but getting the hang of it.

Fast forward two weeks and she has pretty much mastered the #1 potty visits.  We’re half-way there.  But during the day I will often see her walking on her toes and clenching her little tush, her face a picture of concentration.  Apparently, we still have a ways to go with the #2 jobs.