Show: Will & Grace

Moment: I’m sorry. I know there are people out there who think Will & Grace suffered from Too Many Guest Stars Syndrome but any use of Sandra Bernhard is ok in my book. I’m also such a sucker for any time Grace attempts to sing.

Desde criança, um tal de Justin Helpburn anotava as tiradas mal-humoradas de seu pai, Samuel, hoje com 73 anos. Ele usava as observações do cara como piadinha para os amigos. Em agosto, quando perdeu o emprego e voltou a morar com os pais, ele resolveu fazer um Twitter (@shitmydadsays) e, em pouco mais de um mês, o perfil já tem quase 800 mil seguidores!

De vez em quando é bom ter você perto. Não agora. Me dê o controle, não vamos assistir essa merda.

Mês passado, Justin fechou contrato com a editora Harper Collins para publicar histórias e mais frases do pai em um livro. E, agora, o canal CBS anunciou que vai transformá-las em um seriado. Os responsáveis pela empreitada? David Kohan e Max Mutchnick, mesmos criadores do ótimo sitcom “Will & Grace”. Eles vão produzir e supervisionar os roteiros.

Será que dá certo? Não dá pra saber agora, mas é fato que as frases do pai do cara são mesmo engraçadas – mas, olha, eu bem sei que dava pra fazer um perfil com frases dos pais de muita gente, incluindo o meu!

O cachorro não está entediado, é uma merda de cachorro. Você acha que ele está querendo um cubo mágico para montar?

Você parece o Stephen Hawkin ...Calma. Quero dizer, uma versão não-paralítica dele. Se sente melhor? Tá, esquece.

Falar nisso, segue a gente! @oitudoemcima

Cuando uno piensa que ya las maneras personales de aprovechar la tecnología no pueden sorprendernos, ocurre algo que elimina dicha creencia. Tal es el caso de una nota que reporta el Universal, en la que afirma que la CBS acaba de cerrar un contrato con Justin Halpern, un individuo común cuya única gracia es que utiliza Twitter para poner frases que su padre le dice, y la finalidad de este negocio es hacer uso de las mismas para escribir una serie completa, episodios que serán redactados por los mismos guionistas de Will And Grace.

@shitmydadsays es el nombre de usuario que tiene Halpern en twitter, cuya historia es que es un chavo de 29 años que, después de hacer su vida, decide regresar a casa de su padre de 73 años. Por supuesto, quienes tenemos la fortuna de convivir seguido con nuestros padres o nuestros abuelos, sin duda podríamos escribir todo un libro de frases que ellos nos han dicho alguna vez, y no me refiero a aquellas citas de ayuda personal, sino a todas las que son filosofía popular pura.

El padre de Halpern tiene joyas entre sus frases como:

“El bebé hablará cuando tenga que hablar. Calma, no es como si supiera la cura del cancer y no pudiera decirla”.

“Te preocupas demasiado. Come algo de tocino… No, no sé si te hará sentir mejor, pero hoy cociné demasiado tocino”.

Por si no fuera suficiente, Halpern afirma que también ha firmado ya contrato con una casa editorial para la creación de un libro en el que se plasmen, palabra por palabra, las frases de su padre.

Espero que este chavo al menos le dé regalías a su progenitor.

Dealing with Funny Business

Four years ago, television insiders were rocked by a fear that the half-hour comedy genre was on its final legs. The field that was once defined by “I Love Lucy,” “Three’s Company” and “Cheers” could not hold an audience. Take, for example, the case of NBC’s powerhouse block of “Must See TV” Thursday. This block defined sitcoms for the latter half of the ‘90s, thanks to hits such as “Friends,” “Seinfeld,” “Just Shoot Me,” “Frasier” and “Will and Grace.”  Once “Friends” and “Seinfeld” ended in 2004 and “Will and Grace” signed off in 2006, however, multi-camera comedies – those taped in front of a studio audience – were suddenly endangered. CBS had launched the moderately successful “Two and a Half Men” in 2003; for the next six years, this would be one of only two multi-camera comedies to make it past three seasons.

With the demise of the multi-camera comedy, luckily, came the rise of the single-camera bracket. Single-camera comedies usually don’t use laugh tracks. The humor is portrayed more subtly and the cameramen have a longer creative rope to zoom in and out and experiment with angles. Popular examples of multi-camera comedies are “The Office,” “Arrested Development” and “Malcolm in the Middle.” While critics love this genre, the broader audience historically does not, hence the cancellation of “Arrested Development” despite its strong cult following. It used to be that networks needed more patience with multi-camera comedies. Whereas single-camera sitcoms either found audiences quickly or not at all, multi-cameras’ greatest strength was word of mouth, and this required time. This fall season, however, is changing all the rules.

2008 entry “The Big Bang Theory” regenerated America’s love of comedy, and this season ABC has miraculously managed to launch a successful two-hour comedy block. While The CW eliminated comedy from its primetime schedule altogether, it’s undoubtedly a strong field for the other networks. So, which honeys bring the funny and which has-beens are wearing thin?

“She doesn’t even know I exist.”

If you’ve never heard of a TV show, it’s understandable. But if Doc Sonya has barely heard about it, you know it’s bad.

• Brothers
  It’s a new comedy on Fox. Comes on during what TV insiders so fondly refer to as “the Friday night death slot.” The network obviously doesn’t want it to succeed, so why should you?

• ‘Til Death
  This show is still on? Really??

Time to Break Up With…

• Two and a Half Men
  Why do I feel so revolted by “Two and a Half Men”? It’s not the fact that it’s a “dude” comedy that objectifies women; I actually couldn’t care less about that. My dislike probably stems from “Men’s” lack of comedic class – neither the crude jokes nor the scenes in bed nor the dialogue is refined. There’s a little something called taste, and “Men” leaves one in your mouth comparable to vinegar.Bottom Line: It’s sad that this is still one of the highest rated comedies in primetime.

• Accidentally on Purpose
  On par with “Two and a Half Men,” this tired concept should never have made it to the air in the first place. “Dharma & Greg”’s Jenna Elfman is wasted here as the “cougar” who gets knocked up by a twenty-something dude. Unfunny dialogue and stereotypical guy humor ensue (if the writers want to discover the proper execution of guy humor, they should watch “The Hangover”).Bottom Line: Bor-ing. Turn off the TV after “How I Met Your Mother” airs.

One-Night Stands:

Ultimately forgettable, but momentarily entertaining.

• Ugly Betty
  I loved “Ugly Betty” when it premiered as a bright, quirky comedy in 2006. Much like “Heroes,” however, “Betty” fell into a sophomore slump and has since reached only mediocrity. The show now lacks the charm and whimsy that made it so delightful during its first season.Bottom Line: While Daniel has no memorable storyline to speak of and Betty’s romantic entanglements are dull and repetitive, Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda continue to bring the inspired comedy the show sought its first season. Dump the other characters and give these three their own show.

• Gary Unmarrried
  Another uninspired comedy on CBS’ schedule. While “Gary” is certainly more refined than “Men” and “Accidentally on Purpose,” it’s hardly a superior selection. It easily identifies with other marginally successful dad-centered comedies of past years: “The War at Home,” “According to Jim” and “Yes, Dear” come to mind.Bottom Line: Americans have proven that there is indeed an audience for these sub-par shows, and they thus continue to survive. Why not try something saucier, though?
  

Casual Dating:

“You’re pretty funny. Plus, you paid for dinner. I guess we can go out again.”

• The Middle
  “The Middle” centers on the Hecks, a middle-class family in Indiana. While Patricia Heaton is the star, funnyman Neil Flynn, who previously played the Janitor on “Scrubs,” is my reason for watching. I’d say “The Middle” could be appointment TV, but with so many satisfying comedies out there, a girl can only watch so much.Bottom Line: Reminiscent of “Malcolm in the Middle,” “The Middle” demonstrates how mixing kooky with funny plus a tinge of heartfelt emotion makes for an entertaining half-hour.
• Cougar Town
  I’m sure you’ve heard of this Courtney Cox show. Question is, is it any good? Answer: Eh… “Cougar Town” tries for the laughs a smidge too hard, and the slapstick bits don’t quite fit in with today’s comedy demands. However, there’s no denying Cox’s charm, and as son Travis, Dan Byrd’s downplayed comedic timing reminds me of Michael Cera’s spot-on underacting on “Arrested Development.”Bottom Line: Not a bad show, but not a standout, either.

• The New Adventures of Old Christine
  Julia Louis-Dreyfus of “Seinfeld” fame plays Christine, a divorced mom who runs a gym. Her sidekick is the hilarious Wanda Sykes. I’m going to be honest with you: I’ve never seen this show. It’s shameful, because there’s no real excuse for it. But I’m going to endorse it because everyone who’s ever seen this show loves it. Plus, it comes with a top recommendation from my brother, and I’m OK with trusting Doc Sunny on this one.Bottom Line: Whether I’ve seen it or not, this show has Wanda Sykes. Come on, people, watch it. She’s quite possibly one of the funniest comedians ever.

Long Term Dating:

Comedy depends so much on personal preference, so it’s hard to figure out which shows to hate on and which to brag about. But the following are keepers. Girl Scout’s honor.

• How I Met Your Mother
  This year has been a breakout year for “Mother” scene-stealer Neil Patrick Harris. The guy starred in Joss Whedon’s online saga “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.” He finally hosted an episode of “Saturday Night Live,” as well as the Tony Awards and the Emmy Awards, and he garnered an Emmy nomination himself for his work on “mother.” Folks, Doogie Howser has grown up. But Harris, as legendary/awesome playboy Barney Stinson, is only one element that makes “How I Met Your Mother” so fantastic.The ensemble cast includes Alyson Hannigan (“Buffy”! “American Pie”!); Josh Radnor; Cobie Smulders; and Jason Segel, who you probably know as “that guy” from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “I Love You, Man,” and “Knocked Up.” Together, these five comedians bring us the multi-camera, next generation version of “Friends.” These friends live in NYC, hang out in MacLaren’s Bar (sorry, Central Perk), and make bold use of flashbacks to bring us one of the most subtly entertaining comedies we’ve seen in years.

  Bottom Line: “It’s gonna be legen… wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant, because the second half of that word is dairy!”-Barney, “How I Met Your Mother”

• The Big Bang Theory
  You’ve probably at some point (quietly) laughed at a nerd for something he or she said. “The Big Bang Theory” thankfully allows us to laugh at nerds loudly and proudly, thanks to a stock of sitcom characters who are nutty, naïve and endearingly neurotic. Good for a laugh are Raj Koothrappali, an Indian stereotype with a thick accent, bad dress sense and the inability to speak in front of women; Howard Wolowitz, a short Jewish man who dresses in bold colors and will do anything to be with a woman; and Leonard and Penny, the two characters we can most easily relate to.

Jim Parsons, however, steals the show as Sheldon Cooper, Leonard’s socially awkward physicist roommate who neurotically must eat at the same restaurant every night, depending on which day of the week it is, cannot discern sarcasm and always settles a dispute with a good round of Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock: “Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock…

Bottom Line: …and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”

• Modern Family
  ABC’s breakout comedy follows three families, related in some way or another, over the course of their daily activities. Sound dull? It could be, except “Modern Family” is the first show to successfully mix elements of multi-camera and single-camera comedies, so along with the blatantly hilarious lines, there’s a slew of dialogue so witty that one can’t help but laugh. My favorite part is Ty Burrell as Phil, whose over-the-top attempts at being the “cool” dad mock everything our generation is about. With possibly the most laugh-out-loud moments of any comedy on TV right now, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not watching.Bottom Line: “I’m a cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face.” (cut to Phil doing the dance to “High School Musical’s” “We’re All in this Together.”)

• Glee
  I’m sure you’ve heard of “Glee” by now, what with its musical numbers ripping up the iTunes chart week after week. Combining America’s love for undiscovered talent with nutty plotlines and distinctive high school personalities, “Glee” is broadcast television’s scripted answer to reality TV. What I like best about “Glee” is that it’s not a show focused on singing. It’s a character-centered dramedy with musical numbers sprinkled in. While the story about Will’s wife Terri pretending to be pregnant is frustrating, Jane Lynch’s portrayal of maniacal cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester more than makes up for it.Bottom Line: “I’ll often yell at homeless people, ‘Hey, how’s that homelessness working out for you? Give not being homeless a try!’” -Sue, explaining that people should be motivated to better themselves.

• Community / Parks & Recreation / The Office / 30 Rock
  Like I said, NBC’s “Must See TV” Thursday was the place to be in the ‘90s, and its revamped “Comedy Night Done Right” is no different. Each of these multi-camera comedies not only defines but also glorifies the genre. There’s no need to expound on “The Office”; I’m sure every college student has seen it at least once (“that’s what she said!”).“30 Rock” isn’t as popular, but it really should be. Every character is a standout. My favorite is Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, VP of East Coast Television for NBC (probably because I want his job one day). “30 Rock” never hesitates to mock NBC or television or politics or anything else for that matter. Not only is “30 Rock” bold, it is also smart, never insulting the audience or throwing jokes in our face. Much of the humor isn’t in the dialogue – it’s visual (just when Jack says “I need your guidance” and reaches for a picture of Jesus on his desk, he picks up the one behind Jesus… of Nixon.)

• Parks & Recreation
  When Amy Poehler vehicle “Parks & Rec” debuted last year, it was shaky at best: the scripts weren’t quite funny and the acting was too forced. This season, however, the show has found its legs. Sometime, when America quit watching, “Parks & Rec” got funny. Poehler’s grown into her role, and the standout cast of supporting players now receives the emphasis it deserves.

• Community

“Community” is the 2009 entry into NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up, and if its ratings hold (or grow!), it will round-out the comedy block perfectly for years to come. Like the other comedies, “Community”’s greatest strength is the ensemble cast, led by “The Soup”’s Joel McHale, as manipulative lawyer Jeff who’s back in community college because it was finally discovered that his degree came not from Columbia University, but Colombia, South America. This show is, I kid you not, hilarious. The best comedic pairing is undoubtedly Abed and Troy, and the executive producers have realized this: they now dedicate the final thirty seconds of each episode to an Abed-Troy gimmick, be it rapping in Spanish, taking over the school’s PA system or talking in a Batman growl.

Bottom Lines:
“How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?” –Michael Scott, “The Office”

“I haven’t had this much trouble with a book since “Where’s Waldo” went to that barber pole factory.” -Tracy, “30 Rock”

“Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers.” -Tom, “Parks & Recreation”

“Our first assignment is to make a documentary. They’re like movies, but with ugly people.” -Abed, “Community”

-Sonya Chudgar

From Playbill.com:

Previews at the Broadway Theatre will begin on Sunday, March 28th, 2010, with an opening night slated for Sunday, April 25th, 2010.Tony Award winner Kristin Chenoweth and “Will & Grace” star Sean Hayes will star in a new revival of the Burt Bacharach-Hal David-Neil Simon musical Promises, Promises, which will arrive in spring 2010.

Tony and Emmy Award winner Rob Ashford will also make his Broadway directorial debut and choreograph. More casting and creative team members will be announced in the near future.

Chenoweth will portray Fran Kubelik and Hayes will by ladder-climbing executive Chuck Baxter in an upcoming Broadway revival. Broadway Across America, Craig Zadan, Neil Meron, Candy Spelling and The Weinstein Company will produce.

Promises, Promises is a musical adaptation of Billy Wilder’s popular film, “The Apartment”

Okay, I can exhale now.

Last night, Will and I celebrated our eleven year anniversary of best-friendshipness. Eleven years. There are marriages that don’t last that long.  If you wanna know about it, you can read about it here

We laughed, we bleaked out about our clear aging processes. Swapped eye cream tips, laughed about our horrible choices in music in a past life. We reminisced about our mutual stories of our frondship (this is codespeak).

Something about Will and Grace. You know, it is possible that over the last year, we’ve disagreed. That sounds weird to say, especially considering that we never had any real disagreements until this, our eleventh year. Sure, Will has vehemently held  back on commentary on certain choices I have made about where I place my heart in my life. But, this year we truly disagreed for the first time ever, to an almost awkward point.

But, we got over it, we got by, and I think we both realised it was actually a sign of our strength that it happened.

How did it happen? Will was worried about me. We ended up talking about how maybe we care too much. Turns out though, it’s not that at all. It’s when other people get involved and mixed up in the middle of what makes us a terminal team of madness and sanity, that something happens. We worry about each other. It’s what we do.

/One of the eight million and six reasons why I respect you so much, is that you’ve always been so careful not to intrude on it. Even to the point of us calling you ridiculous. The truth is, you fit with it. You’re okay to go with it. It means the world to me that you’ve never told me to choose./

And at 2am today, whilst we were laughing under the stars, having avoided crowds, ugly ex-boyfriends and irritating much-younger people who prompted me to ask the usual “Er, Will, do their mothers know they’re out? And no, I’m not paraphrasing ABBA”…I remembered how it is that my best friend and I met.

On a sunny Sunday. In a driveway. Neither of us feeling particularly social. And ultimately shy. I believe I was wearing some atrocious misconception of an outfit. It was not a red, tiered skirt, though. And I can confirm he was not wearing a polka dot shirt.

I keep in a file in my house. In it, the emails we used to write to each other. Termed the “spleenvent mails”, they got us through the years where Will lived in a different country, and I lived in another mental space. Those long-winded epistles made me laugh and cry every time. Were it not for those, I doubt I’d be the person I am today. By the time he returned on holiday, we were closer than anyone really knew. I think it was a bit of a shock for some people – we were okay with that.

And when, over a box of life-defining cigarettes, Will decided to return home, it was with my greatest heart that I felt okay with the world again. Will fast became the person I would run to, in real life, for everything. Will stood by me in everything. When I would cry about pain, he would put his hand on my shoulder and say “you know, these things will pass”. He would let me cry, never berate me for it. He would make me laugh. He would fish me out of life’s swimming pools, literally and figuratively. When the bottom fell out of my mind, shortly after Cam was born and my Dad died, it was Will who shuffled me into his house and said “here is a plate of food. eat it. this is a hot bath. wash in it. this is a pillow. sleep on it”. It was Will who got me through that time. When something in my house breaks, he brings his Big Jim toolbox and I laugh at his clearly butch nature. He has a tool cupboard in his kitchen. He’s like Bob the Builder, but Bob sings along to ABBA whilst he re-tiles people’s roofs or something. When my kidney broke, he rushed to hospital. Heh. Bjork, be damned .

The truth is, nothing ever changes between us. No matter how much life throws at us, candle holders inclusive, the texture and easy laughter flows without obstruction. I am blessed to have Will.

He is Cam’s godfather. That means more to me than you could know. To me, godparents aren’t there to ensure a child sticks to a religious principle. They exist to be another support to a child as they journey through the world.

I’ve had Will in my life for every critical turn in the journey, and every straight and easy road. I couldn’t have chosen better. I couldn’t ever have asked for a better partner in un-crime and oprah glasses. Knowing that Cam has that for her too, means the world to this mama.

Happy Anniversary, Will. Thank you for eleven years of everything we are.

Let’s go do the big block and the helicopter on the dancefloor like the crazy kids we still are. Just as soon as I finish my crossword

Go ahead. Yawn and watch a little television. Watch Will and Grace. Several years ago Pastor John MacArthur declared that America was already in judgment–that God had turned His face from a country so defiantly celebrating homosexuality and abortion.

“Oh, no,” yawned the Christians. “That MacArthur is extreme. God is gentle. God is full of grace.”

And so He is. Oh. Wait a minute, though. What about those other attributes? You know, like being Holy and Righteous? Well, that’s all right. Don’t worry about it. Watch a little TV.

And besides, you haven’t said anything. They won’t be coming for you. Not right away. They’ll round up loudmouths like Ken Silva. 

Hey, what’s this on the news? Hate crimes? Whatever… What time is Will and Grace on?   http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/10/22/hate.crimes/

On Monday I started doing pilates again, and it was rough.  I had been doing them every day for a long time, progressed to more advanced exercises, and then after a vacation just couldn’t get back into it.  So there I was, almost eleven months later, starting all over from scratch with the beginner exercises.  It was sad…I’m so weak, so out of shape, and I was annoyed with myself.  But it’s one of those things where you just have to start again and stick with it, because if you obsess over where you used to be, you’re not going to want to try.  At least it was better than the very first time I did pilates, when I REALLY couldn’t do anything.  Things will come back faster, and interestingly enough I think parts of my core that were dormant have been reawakened.  I tried pirouettes just for funsies, and managed okay triples on both sides.  Given, I was wearing socks on a shiny hardwood floor, but I’ll take it!  There was one 3.5 that even stayed on relevé, so I think this is my body’s way of telling me to work out before it deteriorates completely.  Little gifts like triple pirouettes are only a taste of what’s to come, it promises.

Anyway, today is Wednesday, which for me, is ALL about Glee.  It’s no secret that I am completely obsessed with this show, and to a potentially unhealthy degree.  I guess in some ways it’s what I wish my high school experience was like.  Although I was (and never will be) no singer, I was involved in the geekier stuff like band and theatre that attracted bullying and teasing like a cows to an alien tractor beam.  I don’t know if this show will have any lasting effect on that, but it is my greatest hope that someday, something will change the minds of young people who think it’s acceptable to make fun of others based on what they’re passionate about.  I didn’t choose my talents and it was difficult for me to understand why people were so intent on being merciless towards me.  My senior year I was one of the best flute players in the school, and I was constantly mocked for that and many other reasons (being a minority, effeminate, skinny and unathletic…I was the TRIPLE bullseye).  I know what it’s like to be a Rachel or a Kurt (Kurchel?)…to have talents and a personality that few seemed to appreciate and although I never had a slushie thrown in my face I had plenty of cruelties tossed my way.  I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me…on the one hand, putting up with all that crap made me headstrong (maaaaaybe stubborn), but I still have plenty of insecurities.  But this can also be attributed to my zodiacs…the Aries in me always says “GO FOR IT!” but those who are born in the Year of the Rat with wood as their element are incredibly insecure people.  It’s a strange dynamic that I have to go through just to make decisions.

It wasn’t until I started dancing (and this was towards the end of university mind you!) that the repair process even began.  It was through dance that I finally started to appreciate the person I am, regardless of whether other people did or not.  This is why I love dance more than life itself and Glee almost as much as I love dance.  However, as much as I love both, I can’t see them mixing very well.  I don’t think a dance version of Glee would work out, for a couple of reasons.  First, being on the dance team doesn’t qualify as geeky.  Second, and the most important, is that people who sing can come from many different backgrounds, which is the same in dance, but with singing, the uniting force is language, and the spoken (er…sung?) word.  We’re trained as soon as we can make any kind of sound from our mouths to speak a language.  However, the common element between all the different dance forms is movement, which despite being the realm of exploration for modern, is much more obscure because most of us aren’t taught to “speak movement” so intensively.  This is why I feel an appreciation for dance is so necessary for a healthy, balanced life.  Just as one should know how to read, so should they know how to observe communication through dance.  It’s no wonder people often show up to their first dance class, a completely insecure wreck, because they’re so out of touch with their bodies.  Dance/movement training should be incorporated a lot more into schools methinks…I went to public school and we never had anything like that.  But dance education is a completely different beast, for another day.

Listen to what the cast of Glee had to say about their first dance experiences:

This begs the question though of why is dance so invisible in mainstream media?  Why is it reduced to the occasional, poorly done stereotype?  It was interesting to me that ballet and New York are kind of synonymous, and yet Veronika Part’s appearance on Letterman just a few months ago was the FIRST time they’ve ever had a ballet dancer.  WHAT?!?  Really??  We get a few movies here and there, most of them being terrible…why is it so difficult to have a compelling plot involving dance in a movie?  Or why aren’t there any television shows where characters are dancers?  And if there are, why are they always portrayed a certain way?  You know what I mean, there are exaggerated stereotypes, as if being a dancer prevents you from being a socially adjusted human being…like this one episode of Will and Grace where Will was dating a dancer, who said something like “I did a rond de jambe when I meant to grand jeté it was so embarrassing.”  First of all, there is no possible way to make that mistake, and there’s no way a dancer would say that to someone who had no idea what those terms meant.  Boo on you writers, for crossing your fingers and hoping the technical jargon would suffice.  Or how about when that character shows up at Will’s apartment decked in full Nutcracker makeup, jumping up and down at the door, and later on balancés down the sidewalk to catch snowflakes on his tongue.  Professional dancers don’t do that (unless they intend to)!  I do that!  And only because I’m trying to be funny, not because I’m crazy.

It’s about time dance got some decent exposure on television, for what it truly is.  Not as background for music videos, “reality” shows or B-movies.  I wish there was a talk show that invited dancers, choreographers, artistic directors etc. to be interviewed and  allowed audiences to get to know them as people as well as find out more about their upcoming projects.  Kind of like Actor’s Studio, or even better, something laid back like Ellen DeGeneres’ show…and the host should be me because I could use a job.  I’m interested in everything dance, so why not?  Except butoh…sorry, won’t do that again.

And just for fun, Kurt…because we love Kurt.

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I present to you some of my favorite TV gays.

Ellen, of course, gets first mention.  There were a handful of lesbian kisses and characters prior to Ellen’s “Puppy Episode,” but both actress and character made a vast change in the television landscape.  Unfortunately, the last season of Ellen takes a tremendous dive, and the show was cancelled.  I remember being in the ninth grade and one of my fellow cheerleaders saying that her family stopped watching the show upon Ellen’s outing, which was confusing at best.

Kerry Weaver’s journey to lesbianism on ER proved to be of apt timing in my own life.  (Thanks, TV!)  Unfortunately, YouTube does not seem to have my absolute favorite Kerry gay moment, wherein she comes out to Romano in the men’s bathroom.  What I love about that moment, and about the characterization of her sexuality in general, is that, for the first time, the audience gets to see a very vulnerable side of the abrasive doctor.

Will and Jack can’t go without a nod, either.  “Bacon and Eggs” is my favorite episode of the entire series.  Sure, this isn’t the gayest clip in the world, but, c’mon, it’s dancing around with Kevin Bacon.  What more do you want?

For all that Ellen did once upon a time, The L Word stepped it up even more.  The writing was terrible, the acting mediocre, and too many naked scenes wound up in the realm of uncomfortable because most of the actresses had back ribs.  Yet vast communities of women (and some men) rounded up for thirteen Sundays every winter to watch the goings on of the West Hollywood gang.  Lesson learned from The L Word: kill of the most beloved character (Dana) in the name of teaching women a lesson about the perils of breast cancer.  But, before I.C. killed her off, goofy Dana had her moments as seen in this clip.

Two shows I wish I had as a teenager: Degrassi and South of Nowhere.

First, Degrassi.  YouTube and teenagers being what they are, I neither have the time nor the inclination to wade through eight million tribute videos to find actual show clips.  But I can tell you that the first time Marco and Dylan went on a date and kissed, I squealed.  As a sort of grown person.  Little did I know at the time that bad girl Alex would join the ranks of the gays at Degrassi, even scoring herself a relationship with popular girl Paige.  For all their adorable girlyness, the moment that solidifies Alex’s spot in the rankings is post-first-break-up with Paige and she says to her ex-boyfriend, “I’m not bi, I’m not confused. I’m a lesbian. An actual lesbian. Who just broke up with her first girlfriend, and it sucks.”

For three seasons, Spencer and Ashley sat in the center of the ensemble cast of South of Nowhere.  The show starts as Spencer and her family arrive in LA from Ohio, as is always the case on television.  From the very first episode, Spencer begins the long (and sometimes torturous) journey into coming out and surviving a high school lesbian relationship.  The same YouTube rules apply for this show as Degrassi, though I did manage to find this tiny little bit.  What I really wanted was the Pride episode where Spencer’s evangelical mother finally reaches out to her daughter.  Tears.

We’ve talked recently about Kurt coming out to his dad on Glee.  So for this, I offer you a really bad quality YouTube video, but, if you haven’t watched the show, stick with it anyway, and you’ll be hooked.  The moment is so wonderful, how could you not be?

Lastly, Kevin and Scotty on Brothers and Sisters.  They’re just so damn normal, especially compared to the rest of the Walker clan.  And this moment?  Well, it almost makes me want Calista Flockhart to officiate my future wedding.

this is dedicated to a very special friend. jenn. i miss you. bring me some chicken, and waffles.

best part (the switch kick-butt slap)

Estas son las quotes de esta semana:

Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp.
People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating; that’s a fantasy camp. -George

[Karen to the Doctor who applies Botox]: Ha ha! Oh, Doc, too bad your comedy is lost on people with dead faces.

“Do you know what would be the best way to wipe out all of human kind if you were a space alien with a special kind of mind ray…? Make all women telepathic. Because if they suddenly found out about the kind of stuff that goes on in our heads they would kill us all on the spot. Men are not people – we are disgustoids in human form.” – Jeff

“Discouraging pre-marital sex is against my Religion” – Barney Stinson

“Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!” -Ross Geller

There’s always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

Charlie: I’ll admit you’re kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you’re like a fart in a hurricane.

Y la pregunta es…

Vote away!

There has been nary even ONE SINGLE search for “Maggie Gyllenhaal” and “bdsm” on this blog (which I expected to see and find the lack frankly disappointing), but “boobs” and “Megan Mullally” tip the scales dramatically, even coming in ahead of “Asia Argento,” “gay batman,” and “Drew Barrymore.” So, heck, here you go, awesome internet party people: a little bit o’ Miss Megan Mullally lezzin’ out with Debra Messing a couple years back at an awards show:

And a quickie of just some topless Megs, cause she’s my fave from the sitcom Will and Grace, which I pretty much never watched so I guess it is pointless to say I have a favorite, but I will say whatever she did on that television thing, she is onstage a damned fine singer to boot.

Enjoy! Eskimo kisses to you all!

I never really understood why they call this week “Homecoming.”  I don’t know about you, but I spend very little time at my home during Homecoming Week.  Just today, I arrived at the school at 6:00 in the morning for play practice, and I finally arrived back at my house at six in the evening.  That is twelve hours at school if you couldn’t do the math.

That brings me back to the original question.  Why is it called Homecoming? I am sure many of you feel the same as I do this week.  Rushed. Exhausted. Overwhelmed.  I know I don’t feel any of those things after a relaxing night at home watching Will and Grace reruns and drinking Diet Coke. 

You spend a minimum of thirty- five hours a week at school, and I know many of us spend way, way more than that.  I think the number of hours some of us spend at school would violate some labor laws.  I think it is pretty safe to say that some of us, maybe most of us, spend more time at Declo High School than we spend at our own homes.  And, even when we are home, those hours are filled with homework and other school responsibilities. 

Frederick W. Robertson said, “Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other.  It is the place of confidence.  It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts.  It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.” 

Those words, to me, define Homecoming.  For one week, we are free from ridicule, we are not scared to be ourselves, and everyone is confident.  I finally understand why we call it Homecoming.  I have already made it clear that we spend way more time at school then home, but we don’t spend everyday treating our classmates like our siblings or our hallways like our bedrooms.  We make fun of each other and walk through our school completely ignoring our surroundings.

Homecoming Week is different.

We spend one week bonding together while shouting out our class cheers, dressing up in crazy costumes, and just being friends because we are Hornets.  Classes come together in the spirit of competition and our entire school comes together to cheer on our football team to victory. 

Bears find their homes in caves.  Princes and princesses in castles.  Hoboes choose to live in boxes.  Hornets live in hives.  Thank you for giving me a place in all your hives over the past four years.  Lets bring it on home this week, Hornets, and make it count.  Then, keep it up this entire year.  Open your hive to those outside your group, make new friends, and remember that those you sit next to in class are your family.

“Omg, do you ever clip your toe nails?
What Do you need them for? To climb trees and ward off predadors?”

Hmmm… a show about a book publisher, you say? CBS, you’ve done it!  If there’s anything the American Idol set wants, it’s a show about book-toting yuppies by a “‘Will and Grace’ alumna.” Of course, never judge a show by its premise. A show about an uncouth book store could turn out to be Black Books (equals goood) or Stacked (that show with that lady Borat likes so much).

AND NO PICTURE!! GRRR!

He was at my work and staring at me! No Joke! Checkin out the goods I guess… lol jk I have no clue why but he was so doing the double take! And I was like who is this dude I recognize him… then I realized it was Will from Will and Grace!

Very cool.

But I am so sad I didn’t have a camera on me BOO:p

I have met/seen so many celebs and have like nothing to show for it:( I really have to buy a camera!!!

14 Eylül Pazartesi,
(NBC) 21:00 – “The Jay Leno Show” (Pazartesiden Cumaya her gece)

16 Eylül Çarşamba,
(FOX) 20:00 – “Glee”

17 Eylül Perşembe,
(FOX) 19:00 – “Bones”
(FOX) 20:00 – “Fringe”
(NBC) 20:00 – “The Office”
(CBS) 20:00 – “Survivor: Samoa”

18 Eylül Cuma,
(FOX) 19:00 – “Brothers”
(FOX) 19:30 – “Til Death”
(FOX) 20:00 – “Dollhouse”

21 Eylül Pazartesi,
(CBS) 19:00 – “How I Met Your Mother”
(CBS) 19:30 – “Accidentally On Purpose”
(CBS) 20:00 – “Two And A Half Men”
(CBS) 20:30 – “The Big Bang Theory”
(NBC) 20:00 – “Heroes”
(FOX) 20:00 – “House”
(CBS) 21:00 – “CSI: Miami”
(ABC) 21:00 – “Castle”

22 Eylül Salı,
(CBS) 19:00 – “NCIS”
(CBS) 20:00 – “NCIS: Los Angeles”
(ABC) 21:00 – “The Forgotten”
(CBS) 21:00 – “The Good Wife”

23 Eylül Çarşamba,
(NBC) 19:00 – “Parenthood”
(CBS) 19:00 – “The New Adventures Of Old Christine”
(CBS) 19:30 – “Gary Unmarried”
(NBC) 20:00 – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
(CBS) 20:00 – “Criminal Minds”
(ABC) 20:00 – “Modern Family”
(ABC) 20:30 – “Cougar Town”
(CBS) 21:30 – “CSI: NY”

24 Eylül Perşembe,
(ABC) 19:00 – “Flash Forward”
(ABC) 20:00 – “Grey’s Anatomy”
(CBS) 20:00 – “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”
(CBS) 21:00 – “The Mentalist”

25 Eylül Cuma,
(CBS) 19:00 – “Ghost Whisperer”
(NBC) 19:00 – “Law & Order”
(NBC) 20:00 – “Southland”
(CBS) 20:00 – “Medium”
(CBS) 21:00 – “Numb3rs”

27 Eylül Pazar,
(ABC) 18:00 – “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
(CBS) 19:00 – “The Amazing Race”
(ABC) 20:00 – “Desperate Housewives”
(CBS) 21:00 – “Cold Case”

28 Eylül Pazartesi,
(NBC) 20:00 – “Trauma”
(FOX) 21:00 – “Lie to Me”

29 Eylül Salı,
(ABC) 19:00 – “Shark Tank”

30 Eylül Çarşamba,
(ABC) 19.00 – “Hank”
(ABC) 19:30 – “The Middle”

8 Ekim Perşembe,
(NBC) 19.00 – “Community”

9 Ekim Cuma,
(ABC) 19.00 – “Ugly Betty”

15 Ekim Perşembe,
(NBC) 20.30 – “30 Rock”

3 Kasım Salı,
(ABC) 19.00 – “V”

2010 başları,
(ABC) “LOST”
(FOX) “24″ (Pazar, 17 Ocak @ 20.00)

Time for a little in house debate between Protestants in preparation for my dangerous posts on “Why I am not a Catholic” and “Why I am not a Calvinist”, which will lose me 90% of my Christian readers. Sigh. I don’t want to lose any readers, but I like to be me!

Anyway…

I spotted this article over on Birds of the Air blog. (H/T Neil Simpson)

Excerpt:

Classical Wesleyan Arminianism:

1. Humans are naturally unable to make any effort towards salvation
2. Salvation is possible by grace alone
3. Works of human effort cannot cause or contribute to salvation
4. God’s election is conditional on faith in Jesus
5. Jesus’ atonement was for all people
6. God allows his grace to be resisted by those unwilling to believe
7. Salvation can be lost, as continued salvation is conditional upon continued faith

Standard Calvinism:

1. Total Depravity – After the Fall, human will was given over to sin and is as if it were dead, so that without being “awakened” by the Holy Spirit (the initiator) a human is unable to choose to be saved.
2. Unconditional Election – God’s choice was not determined by anything ever done or to be done by a human; it is a free gift not earned by merit. Under this view, God is the initiator of salvation.
3. Particular Redemption (AKA Limited Atonement) – The blood of Christ was a substitution for the penalty of sin, and was effectual for the forgiveness of sins. Therefore, it not only secures but guarantees salvation.
4. The Efficacious Call of the Holy Spirit (AKA Irresistible Grace) – The outward call to salvation is made to all, but the Holy Spirit also places an inward call in the hearts of those who are elected for salvation. The outward call can (and often is) resisted, but the inward call is more powerful than human willpower. The Holy Spirit causes the sinner to respond in faith.
5. Perseverance of the Saints – The Holy Spirit will keep the believer secured in faith in Christ to the end.

I am basically in agreement with the Classical Arminian view, and I would accept the following points of Calvinism: Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Definite Atonement. I totally disagree with Irresistible Grace. Perseverance of the Saints is fine, except for people who literally reject their former faith. I.e. – you can’t lose your salvation by committing sins X,Y and Z. I am a 3.99 point Calvinist.

For my non-Christian readers who struggle with understanding why you are assumed to be in rebellion, ask yourself how much of your busy lives you have spent trying sincerely to decide whether God is really there by watching debates, making friends with Christians, visiting church, reading the Bible, praying test prayers, etc. Before God starts to work on you, you are in full flight away from God. That’s just the way it is.

When you are at the point of inventing an infinite number of universes to explain the fine-tuning, you’ll know what I am talking about. For every 100 non-Christians who starts to make that speculative multiverse reply to the fine-tuning argument, maybe 1 of you closes his mouth and says “ENOUGH”.

The doctrine of middle knowledge

And I think Wesleyans like me can recover an extremely robust view of divine sovereignty by invoking the doctrine of middle knowledge. This is the view that God can foresee what any individual will do in any set of circumstances (counterfactuals of creaturely freedom). And he uses this middle knowledge to actualize a world in which everyone who can freely choose to be respond to God’s saving initiative will be placed in the exact time and place where they would freely respond.

Consider Paul’s defense in Athens on Mars Hill: (in Acts 17:22-31)

²²Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. ²³For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you.

²⁴“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. ²⁵And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. ²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

²⁹“Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man’s design and skill. ³⁰In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. ³¹For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead.”

I’ve actually stood on Mars Hill, so this is a special, special passage for me.

Without God’s actualization of the conditions needed to save each individual person, no one could be saved. And it’s more than just the time and place, God has to individually reveal just the right amount of himself to the person in that time, so that they have the choice to respond without being coerced. So you have unilateral salvation initiated by God, but man is still responsible for rejecting God. It’s PERFECT!

If you haven’t heard of middle knowledge, I highly recommend that you take a look at it. It solves the problem of reconciling divine foreknowledge, free will and human responsibility. It’s kind of new though, so you may not have heard about it unless you are into philosophy of religion research. I went to a Wheaton Philosophy conference which had the Calvinist Paul Helm of Oxford University as the main speaker. He plowed, but the consensus among the audience (90% in the people I surveyed and judging from audience questions) was that middle knowledge was the correct solution to these thorny problems.

Further study

I have to mention this post on Between Two Worlds linked by Muddling Towards Maturity. This has to do with the scope of the atonement.

For whom did Christ Die?

Michael Bird posts three short entries by three different scholars regarding the intent and extent of the atonement:

• Paul Helm (Calvinist View)
• Michael Jensen (Amyraldian View)
• Ben Witherington (Arminian View)

My guy in the race is my favorite historian, Ben Witherington, but I’m not familiar with Jensen. Witherington is highly qualified scholar who is respected and endorsed across the spectrum. He is an evangelical.

I’ll be posting something about the atonement later this week.

I think I have now officially seen every episode (am watching the final episode and writing this).  I never really thought it was a funny TV show when it aired, but R is a huge fan, and has turned me onto it.  He’s lying in the bed now, asleep. He didn’t want to watch the last episode becuase he hates endings. I guess that’s yet another thing we have in common.

Alter ego:

n.

1. Another side of oneself; a second self.
2. An intimate friend or a constant companion.

We all have people we admire, wish we could be, or try to emulate in certain situations.

Jason Bourne.  Karen on “Will & Grace.”  Albert Pujols, perhaps.

Me?

Whenever I’m a little depressed . . . or feel insecure . . . or worry . . . I head upstairs to the glassed-in office in my head for a little advice from my alter ego: Ari Gold, the super-agent character played by Jeremy Piven on HBO’s “Entourage.”

Ari forces me to grow a pair and take control; look at a situation objectively; be decisive; and, if necessary, be a prick.  Of course, this all takes place beneath my surface.  I love Ari Gold because I am so not Ari Gold. I don’t verbally abuse baristas or Best Buy clerks.  I don’t barge into a client’s office and tell him to go fuck himself.  I don’t dis the people I love just to get a deal done.

I just wish I could (sometimes).

Never seen Ari in action?  Watch this.

Who’s your alter ego?

TGIF. So many people dying recently and such sadness. Whether you were a Michael Jackson fan or not, you had to be moved by that poignant tribute from Brooke Shields and Paris’ comments about her dad.

But enough of the sadness for now. I think we need a little humor – right this very minute, so here are a few of my favorite funnies. Got a favorite? Send it to me (rekeaton@gmail.com). I’ll do another blog and credit your contribution.

Here goes – hopefully to make you laugh or at least put a smile on your face.

Warren Buffett, responding to a reporter asking if the economy needed a second stimulus bill: “Our first stimulus was sort of like taking half a tablet of Viagra.” (Not sure if that should evoke laughter or tears. And was he referring to a 25 mg or 100 mg pill?)

Conan O’Brien: “A new study reveals that ugly men produce more sperm during sex. The good news is that they’re usually alone when they do it.”

Megan Mullally, Karen on TV’s Will and Grace, as she and Jack looked over her jewels: (Holding up a diamond necklace) “On my back in Iraq, (holding up another piece of jewelry) on my knees in Belize, (and then finally holding up the biggest piece of all) and then there was that time in Nantucket….”

Dorothy Parker: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

Woody Allen: “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date Saturday night.”

More Allen: “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”

Harvey Fierstein on attire: “I guess a drag queen’s like an oil painting: You gotta stand back from it to get the full effect.” Yeah, way back.

Leo Duracher: “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?”

Ellen DeGeneres talking about rap music on her show: “It’s for people who can’t sing, isn’t it?”

Joey Bishop (for anyone old enough to remember him): “My wife and I were going to get a divorce but neither of us wanted the kids.”

Oscar Wilde: “Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.” – Doug Larson

Personal:

For my journalist friends, who, like me, are looking for work, compliments of Phil Pastoret: “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil–and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” Read carefully friends, tabloids may soon be our only print “journalistic” market left.

And one close to my heart: “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.”

Finally, to help you get to know me better: “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

Or, as Whoopie Goldberg put it: “Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” 

”I gave that man the drunkest years of my life!”

Will & Grace (1998-2006) dizisinden Karen Walker