Photo by VC Ferry

the belle of the ball
sea breeze spritzer in hand
quenches her thirst

for

a man on the rocks

teetering on hi-heels and hi-balls
her lipstick smears under caked mascara

she likes that look

likes to be looked at

likes to be looked after

the numbness feels good
like a warm blanket of snow
covering a gravel driveway

she is pitted against herself
neck and neck with her self pity
eyeballing the eye candy
and other women’s

husbands

she finds her comfort zone

the barbed wire veil
around her pillbox hat is lifted
from time to time
popping anti-

depressants like tic-tacs

blind folded
playing ‘pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey’

she wonders when she will be found out
she wonders when time will turn her in
she wonders if she’ll ever stop longing
long enough

to love who she is
and feel what she feels

she orders a double
to double

her pleasure
but it only doubles

her vision
and widens

the incision

between self love and self
mutilation
and the desire

for more

be careful
what you wish for

L. K. Thayer

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

I realize I have been silent the past couple of days. No real update since The Move has taken over my life. But, enough about moi. All you’ve heard is “me me me and I I I”. I wanna hear from You You You!!! I don’t want to know what’s going on. There’s twitter and facebook. I want to know what’s really going on. Hopes, dreams, desires, secrets, wishes. Hold nothing back. Let’s reconnect and keep connecting! Come on. You first!

Tranzluzid

Please check out Tranzluzid’s official site @ http://www.tranzluzid.com/ or MySpace and show your support for original Australian music.

Rose x

This year has been amazing so far and is coming close to an end. I’ve fallen deeper in love, lived harder, found a new talent, laughed and laughed and then laughed some more, made this blog and met new people.
Thanksgiving is when we realize and recognize what matters most, what you care about and are grateful for. Many days it can be easy to overlook the blessings in our lives. We take for granted our health or the relationships we are fortunate enough to have and get caught up worrying about our bills, a dripping faucet or being stuck in traffic.

Give thanks today for the little and big things in life.
Enjoy it to the fullest.
Live. Love. Laugh.

Thanksgiving Version of 10 Things I am Loving Right Now…

1. My Mother and Father. Without them I would not be here right now. They are very patient, loving, sweet, understanding, and supportive of all my endeavors.

2. My sister. I am grateful sister for keeping me sane and for making my life happier, more exciting and meaningful.

3. My future hubby – K. I have found a lover and a friend, someone who is honest and open with me, and truly accepts me for who I am.

4. My friends. Always there for me. Enjoying the good with the bad. They are my link to sanity and serenity.

5. My job. The opportunity to work for someone as wonderful as I do and that I have somewhere I love to go everyday. Oh and the pay is wonderful!

6. The fact I have a place to live. With the way the economy is going so many people are having a hard time. I am grateful that I am able to live in a place I love.

7. My healthy. Enough said.

8. Love. Without it where would we be?

9. I am grateful for being able to walk, talk, smell, see and hear. Need I say more…I think not.

10. I’m grateful for you. Yes, you dear Readers because you are the readers of this blog, my writing, my art and my passion and the extra bit of poundage that I gained by making all of those recipes!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.
May you eat as much you can.
Love as much as you can.
Enjoy as much as you can.

Step 1: Write your greatest dreams on a sheet. All of them. Make a list of the things you want to do before you die.

Step 2: Once you’re done, throw this paper away.

Step 3: Think about something greater than everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

I wish to take a step toward better communication with the nursing I staff I work with. I am the only person who works in my department on my shift, and I use that to my advantage to keep on top of my studying in homework. In doing so, however, I isolate myself from my other coworkers. I don’t connect much with anyone because when I’m not with a patient, I’m always lost in my own thoughts. I need to take that step and be more friendly toward the nurses. I’m going to be at the hospital for at least another 2 years so I want to make a productive and joyful 2 years, for everyone.

P.S. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

I have so much to be thankful for this year, as I do every year. My family, friend, my puppy, my job and my new car! Gotta get ready to see the family, be back later!

Me Today

After 2 weeks of gaining weight and not loosing anything i finally I did it!!!!  I lost 2 kilos :D well heehe 1.8 I am the biggest loser for this week Check out the stats

 3 Weeks to go!!!    Im in 3rd place overall in the running…. I hope that i keep loosing from now till I see my boys   (My Finace Dec 23  and Backstreet Boys Dec 17)

It’s time to swallow my pride, yep, going to very selfish for a while. Not that it will get me anywhere and specially not where I want it to but still, no harm done in putting it down in words except for a bit of my humble pride ; )

I loved the promo gig in Stockholm on Oct 19 at Lilla Hotellbaren, no doubt about that! Small and cozy venue. Close to the stage, seeing and hearing everything just perfect. But do you know what I miss (hard to please this lassie ; ) )? A ‘real’ concert! A promo gig is a promo gig and a concert is a concert, right?

Last chance for this year is Helsinki, Finland on Dec 5. Helsinki not that far from Stockholm. Only 50 min if one has wings ; ). Oh yes, there is only one tiny obstacle in my way ; ) and looks like this: € € € €! (Flight, hotel and concert)

To be there in person, to inhale in the atmosphere of a concert that has more of Nina, more of Tom and the rest of the gang on stage, and with longer versions of some of the songs. That Santa! is what I wish for as an early Xmas wish!

I have been good Santa,I promise I have = D, so could you please send a sponsor my way?  In return you will see a really big smile on this ole’ teddy’s face  and will give the sponsor a great feedback in a personal exclusive story from the Helsinki Adventure!

Now I have made a complete “fool” of myself to let out of  TMI like this but what the heck ; ), “I am very good at being me “ that is who I am!

Oh btw, this just reminds me of the very first time and only time, as a kid, I wrote a letter addressed to Santa. That letter never reach “Santa” because my mom didn’t mail it, she forgot about it and I later found the letter unopened : (

One more thing, maybe you wonder what or whom I am referring to as far as Helsinki? Well, easy answer amigos: Milow and his gang!

Be fabulous and be distracted.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Confronted by loneliness in your eyes,
perhaps reflecting my own,
our solitary multitude,
and daily we strangers transmit our wordless requests,
while i perceive not knowing the steps–
an ugly i don’t know.

Today i don’t know,
what is wanted,
what be required,
what now asked,
for it’s not going to happen,
the irresistible real meets unmovable lust,
wishes spread around on lasers–
ugly reciprocated i don’t know.

With love we transform our ugly i don’t know,
a beautiful i don’t know flowers,
in silence we become real,
our longing becomes unity,
our lust becomes compassion,
and together we are wordless in charm,
kindly wordless–
our hearts a beautiful expectation.

I’ve been reading this wonderful series for quite some time but have not participated until now. With so much weighing on my mind (a few things that I actually haven’t shared here in this space), today’s question really spoke to me.

What step do you wish to take?

I wish to take a step of faith (a leap is too grand a gesture for me at this moment). My fears, anxieties, propensity to spend copious amounts of time reading and planning. . . these things are still keeping me from my dreams. I dream a lot. But I do very little. Because I am still lacking faith–faith in my self and my capabilities. So today, I wish to finally take that step of faith.

What about you? What step do you wish to take?

Vanmorgen hebben we weer een beetje uitgeslapen. We zijn toch wel moe geworden de laatste paar dagen denk ik. Maar het mag de pret niet drukken. Na een keuze uit de kleine selectie aangekochte kleding kunnen we op pad. Het doel is Magic Kingdom.

Bij binnenkomst blijkt dat het een stuk drukker is als de vorige weken. We hebben alles al een keer gezien dus we lopen rustig door het park en kijken de show rondom de nieuwe Disney animatiefilm, Tiana’s Showboot Jubilee. Het is een leuke show maar niet heel bijzonder.

We vervolgen onze weg in de richting van Mainstreet waar we een plekje zoeken om de parade te kijken. Ik haal even hotdogs, een Mickey Premium ijsje en te drinken en dan is het al snel tijd voor de parade.

De parade is niet heel bijzonder de naam is veranderd en de wagens zijn nog hetzelfe als in 2008. Na de parade lopen we naar Mickey’s Toontown gelopen maar daar was het veel te druk. Bij Philarmagic is het slechts 10 minuten wachten dus daar stappen we snel binnen. Na de show delen we een Funnel Cake en drinken we Smart Water, zou het werken?

Dan zien we donkere wolken en lopen naar Pirates om 30 minuten droog te staan wachten. Na de attractie is het inderdaad gaan regenen en lopen we snel naar de Enchanted Tiki-room. Na een PhotoPass foto lopen we naar het Tomorrowland Terrace Noodle Station voor de Wishes Dessert Party. Deze begint echter later vanwege de verandering van openingstijden van het park en het latere tijdstip waarop Wishes plaats vindt. We lopen daarom nog even het park uit en met de Monorail gaan we naar het Ticket and Transportation Center om onze vesten te pakken. De laatste Spectromagic begint namelijk pas om 11 uur en is het nu al flink frisser geworden door de regen.

Om 8 uur melden we ons voor het dessert buffet en we krijgen een armbandje en een ticket met je seating area, C in ons geval. We zijn benieuwd wat het inhoud maar dat merken we om 9 uur. Na het ‘inchecken’ lopen we door het kasteel naar Fantasyland en eten we nog een klein frietje. Het blijkt dan al een stuk rustiger te zijn in het park en we stappen nog naar binnen bij It’s a Small World.

Dan is het bijna 9 uur en gaan we in de rij staan om het terras op te komen. Stipt om 9 uur loopt de georganiseerde chaos naarbinnen en komen wij erachter dat seating area C de mooiste is. We zitten helemaal vooraan zonder mensen voor ons. Dit is echt een super plek.

We kijken schuin van voren naar het kasteel en wachten tot het buffet iets rustiger wordt. Dan slaan wij onze slag! We hebben keuze uit aardbeien in een laagje pure chocolade, cakejes, mango shooters, tiramisu, fruit en nog veel meer. De aardbeien zijn hier trouwens groter als golfballen en heel erg lekker. Ja we hebben altijd een golfbal bij, We hebben prachtig kunnen filmen en kunnen kijken de camera stond op de railing met de Gorillapod dat is echt een geweldig ding.

Na het filmen hebben we nog even wat verder gedessert en genoten van het daar zijn. Om kwart voor 11 zijn we klaar gaan staan voor de tweede ronde van Spectromagic, de lichtjesparade van Magic Kingdom. We stonden op de hub en Daan heeft mooi kunnen filmen en ik heb een paar fotootjes gemaakt. Na de parade hebben we nog een paar foto’s gemaakt en zijn op het gemak het park uitgelopen in de richting van de Monorail. Dit park zien we denk ik pas weer in mei 2010.

Daarna zijn we snel naar huis gegaan om dit keer op tijd te zijn met het verslag. Het is hier nu half 2 en bij jullie half 8.

Lagi entri tertunda pasal orang kawin. Banyak pulak majlis kawin bulan ni kan..

Perkahwinan sepupu aku, Ayu pada 13 dan 14 November yang lepas. Aku dan keluarga balik ke Lipis utk meraikan perkahwinan Ayu. Ayu ni sbenarnya sepupu paling rapat di sebelah family daDDy ku. Yang lain aku idok aa rapat sangat. Tapi ngan Ayu ni aku siap makan sepinggan tido sekatil lagi. Tu la pasal aku sanggup amek cuti demi nak meraikan majlis dia. Now both of us dah kawen so takde la lagi adegan tido sekatil… hahaha

Sebelum balik kampung, kami jemput tetamu khas pakcik (Ayu’s daDDy) aku dari Jogjakarta di LCCT. Namanya Imam Widodo. Namanya memang macam tu, tapi dia bukan imam masjid atau surau..hanya imam di rumah..hehehe.. Panggil Bapak Imam.

Sampai di Lipis pukul 5 petang, majlis nikah dah nak mula. Aku tak sempat tukar baju. Bantai je lah pakai suar jeans dengan disaksikan oleh ramai orang-orang tua. Tok Imam pon tgk semacam. Rasa macam tak senonoh je.

Pakcik ku, Bapak Imam dan Tok Imam yang pandang aku semacam jerk..

Ini lah Bapak Imam Widodo

Pengantin

Dah selamat

Atas pelamin

Sibuk jugak nak bergambar atas pelamin

Malamnya, ada majlis berinai. Kali ni aku dah pakai baju kurung. So nampak la senonoh sikit. Tapi lepas majlis bantai karaoke lagu dangdut. Tak senonoh jugak.

Pengantin bersanding

family

Esok hari, majlis makan besar di Dewan Jubli Perak, Kuala Lipis. Warna tema ialah gold dan hijau.

Majlis sangat meriah, punya lah ramai orang datang. Kul 3 ptg makanan pon dah habis. Sape datang lambat, nasib lah. Dapat goodie bag je.. hehhee..

Pelamin indah dengan lampu mengelip

Udang panjat-panjat.. yummm

Dalam majlis ni Bapak Imam lah yang menjadi tumpuan. Dia pakai pakaian tradisi jowo.

My bro, my niece and my sista yang dah potong rambut mcm Geum Jandi dalam citer Boys Over Flower

Kepada Ayu dan suami, tahniah.. dan selamat pengantin baru. Semoga berbahagia ke anak cucu.

]]> http://mimulus.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/ideas-and-wishes/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:17:24 +0000 mimulus http://mimulus.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/ideas-and-wishes/

I’ve been living in this apartment for exact 30 months today.

The contract is automatically renewed and if I want to move I only have to give a 30 day notice, without any extra payment.

This is good because I’m full of ideas and wishes and I feel more free to go anywhere else.

I’m in a short 10 day vacation and that’s the time I have to get informed about the things I want.

I’ll spend a few days with my family but I’m taking most for myself. The heat is unbearable here and is quite a relief not having to work or go anywhere.In fact I have a few things to do on the street but I’m postponing them the most due to the heat.

I’ve learned not to have plans, because life can hit us in the face without any warning at any time.

But it’s good to have wishes and ideas. It moves your thoughts and actions toward what you can get. I truly believe in it.

At this point in my life I know myself better and learned how important it is to keep strong bonds with people that matter and who care. No one can live isolated. And I learned not to care about what would have disappointed me a while ago. And I know that keeping focus on my ideas and wishes can take me where I want, no matter how possibilities look like at the time.

Our minds are infinite source of creation if we keep the right thoughts. Transform your inner self and everything around will follow that change.

On 18 of November, my Brother’s birthday

Can you believe it; all were saying that my brother’s sketch was perfect. but (his wife) bhabhi is not looking bhabhi.

I have told them that I know my mistake. The important thing is that you must know your mistake

Ooh fint, fint!! Den här outfiten önskar jag att jag hade. Blev inspirerad av idol Toves outfit med blandat djurmönster.

silkeklänning från Wera 699kr, jacka från Glitzy.se 389kr, byxa från Wang €673 hos net-a-porter, väska från J.Dauphin, halsband från J.Dauphin och skor från Rick Owen 8700kr

Carolina