It’s just gone 3am and I can’t sleep. It’s the first of January and I didn’t even finish my wine tonight (last night?) because I was, quite frankly, not up for it. The cold and cough gets aggravated by alcohol which is a bummer because wine is usually my medicine for such things.

I’m still musing and reflecting on the year that was. It was a crazy year. For a long time I used to think my life was dull and boring and had no drama. Now I want those days back! This isn’t what I had in mind for “excitement”! Excitement is abseiling or jumping out of a plane. Going to a rock concert. Getting a new job that you’ve always wanted. That sort of thing; positive things. None of this depression and anxiety shit!

On the other hand, if I’m honest, there have been many exciting developments and wonders in 2009. It started off with a promise. I had a potential romance (that didn’t go anywhere but I got a lovely friend out of it), thought about leaving my job in May, enrolled in Masters in Criminology and I felt excited. But then things started getting bogged down. I met someone and that was far too intense, the circumstances and the distance and the multitude of problems that emerged so early on. I deferred my Masters because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate. It’s a shame I did that but it was the right thing. I’ll pick it up again someday (maybe, or do psychology or similar instead). And I was feeling stuck in my job, unable to move forwards or backwards and the desperation grew, the heaviness in my soul grew and the frustration and confusion grew.

Then BAM! Crash in August. It’s pretty much chronicled elsewhere on this blog.

And despite my immediate previous post where I’ve realised I’ve gone backwards in recent weeks and been temperamental to a dear person (as well as others, I admit, like family), there have been some really strong positives.

Of course, the main one is that I finally ditched the physical elements that were weighing me down: the environment in which I was working, my hot hot hot humid apartment that kept falling apart, and Sydney in general. I still can’t pinpoint what it is about Sydney that made me want to escape, because it’s a wonderful city with much to offer, but I had to get away from it. Perhaps, as I said to my mum on Christmas Day, I am just not someone who can stay in one place for too long, I need new scenery every few years or so. She was quick to say, “Yes, you certainly do!” She said she’s always felt this restlessness in me, this need to go somewhere different. That’s why I’m happy when I’m moving house because it’s a new adventure and a new scene. Perhaps.

So, I’m really enjoying Brisbane so far. Sure, the heat and especially the humidity is bloody disgusting, as is the sun rising at the ungodly hour of sometime after 4am. Damn confused curtains and faded cows. Still, the city is really pretty especially at night with the skyline all lit up, the cost of living is cheaper and transport vastly better than Sydney (lift your game, NSW Transport).

And I have friends here! As you may know, I’m living with Michelle temporarily and I couldn’t have done this big move without her help and her opening her home and heart to me. For that I’m eternally grateful.

Other friends and family are here in Brisbane but due to being an unemployed bum, I have to watch my money and can’t go out much yet.

Thanks to Twitter, I have gotten to know some fabulous new people in Brisbane and I am looking forward to meeting them in person (big meet up coming soon!). Don’t bag Twitter out until you’ve really tried it. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people who you wouldn’t have otherwise gotten to know (and meet). It’s not all about trying to say the funniest thing in 140 characters; there’s more to it than that.

And I say that because I have met a number of others who have been really wonderful and supportive, especially in the past month. While I’ve been stuck in the house writing job applications, I’ve had online company and advice and hints on what to write. It’s heartening how freely people give advice and suggestions and how willing they want to help. In return I’ve been able to provide moral support for a few people with woes and troubles and just be there for them. I don’t always know what to say in reply, but I know that just listening helps. It helps me too when I need to have a rant over something.

But most of all, the most interesting thing about the second half of last year is having people confide in me and admit that they too deal with inner turmoil, insecurities, image issues, depression, anxiety, mental health issues — you name it. Even people I’ve known for some time; I had no idea!

I don’t really understand why this is so. Maybe I ask the “right” questions; maybe they identify with what I write on this blog and tell me so in private — an act of recognition; maybe a whole lot of other maybes, I really have no idea why but I am flattered. At first I was a little disconcerted and actually worried that I might not be able to cope with other people’s sadness when I was feeling so vulnerable and emotionally worn out myself, but oddly, I found that it helped me. The selfish part of me realises that it helped me to realise that I’m not the only one in the world who feels like shit on some days, “phew, there’s someone else out there who’s just as, if not more, depressed as I am.” It sounds terrible but it’s not meant to be — it’s a reassurance that depression is not unique to me. With others confiding in me, I listened and applied it to myself — “is that how I think too?” Sometimes I found answers for myself this way, sometimes not at all but nevertheless reflected on what was said.

The altruistic side of me, the nurturing side, has appreciated this, the honesty and openness of some people because that’s who and what I am by nature. I want to help and I am free to help. I don’t know how to help most of the time, but I’ll try and I do know that listening and talking and offering advice or observances does help. Sadly sometimes I go a bit overboard — I can SEE the problem! I have the answers! Listen to me, I’ll tell you what you should do! — and I end up sounding a bit of a hypocrite because while I’m not judging, it may come across that way and I might be doing the same things I’m telling that person to stop doing. I may also come across as too heavy or too pushy or (with regards to one person) patronising (and I’m still sorry about that. Apologies x 1000).

I know some people, from the clues and comments they’ve dropped, have some inner issues that they’re not really ready to talk about yet (if ever) and I have stupidly tried to get them to open up by asking too many probing questions. I need to stop doing that but I just hate the idea of someone dealing with the sad stuff alone when you don’t have to. It makes me feel sad for them and I always have this motto in my head: “A problem half stated is a problem half solved”. But I’m hopefully learning to be less pushy in this respect. I have to learn to let people take their own time — and accept that if they don’t want to talk to me at all about their problems, then that’s OK. It’s not personal and never will be. It’s just not going to happen.

The revelations from people are sometimes surprising. For example, some come across as popular, sociable and friendly and I’d never have guessed in a million years time that behind their happy-go-lucky personality, they’re sometimes struck by sadness or anxiety or whatever, you name it. There are many types and variables. And it’s made me realise how many of us keep our inner turmoil covered up. I know I did that for a long time, even among family and friends, although I’m sure some suspected something behind the facade.

All this has made me convinced to at least enrol in psychology (or counselling) and give that a go. It might be ironic that a depressed person can counsel another depressed person, but I think there might be some benefits in it. I won’t have the same level or depth of people I may counsel but I will have a taste of it, have an empathy of sorts and kind of know how they feel. Do you agree with theory? Keen to hear what others think.

Anyway, the sky is starting to lighten (at the ungodly hour of 4.15am) and I am finally tired. The witching hour is supposed to be between 12am and 3am so I guess that’s finished now. Will have to ask the cows.

To everyone I’ve known, still know, have recently met and hope to meet, I hope 2010 is a good year… nay, a better year for all.

Tis now the very witching time of night,

When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out

Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,

And do such bitter business as the day

Would quake to look on.

– Hamlet [Act III, sc. ii]

I experience a severe change of attitude at the very moment I have worked an eight-hour day. As soon as I work one minute longer than eight hours — I am fit for a straight jacket, no lie.

Now, in retrospect, I have to wonder if it was all those years of punching a time clock in the many factories and casinos I worked that has conditioned me to look for the that final cut off, that distinct moment or beacon of quitting time.

In this line of work, there is no such light at the end of the tunnel. I am required to stay until my work is done. But that doesn’t stop me from twitching as soon as I reach that eight-hour mark. 

The anxieties that accompany those eight bells in my mind are no match for many of my life experiences other than that time I had to stay the weekend in jail. And even then I knew come six o’clock Sunday evening I was out of there.

The same with the double shifts of 14 or even 16 hours. I was completely fine because I knew when my time was up. 

But this I find to be a completely excruciating experience.

As a reporter, you can forget about meeting your girlfriends for cocktails, or making that 5:15 aerobics class, dinner with out-of-town relatives and that ceramics or yoga class you paid hard-earned money to sign up for at the local community college. Why? Because you won’t be there. 

Nope. You will be putting the finishing touches on some random sentence that didn’t quite sit right with an editor, waiting for an email or phone call that could contain the tiniest detail to put the cherry on top of said random story, or trying to write like mad to complete another random story that was more than likely a late assignment from previously mentioned editor. 

So, there it is. My life on a stick. Hmmmph. 

I love my job and find it rewarding about 92 percent of the time. The other 8 percent I find myself daydreaming of a comeback tour as a receptionist, a job that holds the very ideal for which I strive — a distinct quitting time. And, man, was I a heck of a receptionist!

Or I could come to realize that I am lazy and just don’t want to do the work. Ok, some days this is true. But, really, I think I am painfully misunderstood. 

My manic mood swings that come on the heels of an eight-hour work day, my witching hour, are probably considered unnecessary, problematic, obtrusive and offensive to some and I get it. That’s only fair, I am quite sure.

The thing is, the anger is not a product of crunch time of deadline or any of that. It is a pure and real struggle with my inner thoughts and emotions as I confront the fact that I very well may have sold my soul to the devil to write.

Think about that.

I love to write more than anything. But to write after my inspiration has been crucified upon the passing of that eighth hour truly makes me feel like a prisoner, a tool, somebody’s female canine.

It is within the realm of my inner self that I find myself on this battlefield without the appropriate or effective tools to handle the pressure. I crack every time. WTF?

Seriously? I would welcome any advice at this point. Quitting just isn’t an option.

Is it really the American way to take something we love, try to turn it into an occupation and then beat it to death, everyday, therefore making it our worst nightmare? Dear Lord, what have I done?

My husband and I use to be big walkers, we’d drive down to the mountains Especially to an area called Falls Creek we’d go in the early spring or Autumn as it would either be to hot in summer or covered in snow in winter with people skiing everywhere. Falls Creek was where we first took a holiday together so over the years we returned and returned doing walks in the area. We climbed Mt Kosciuszko and Mt Feathertop amongst others. Then when we moved back to the UK 3 nearly 3 years ago we really haven’t done much walking at all. And the only walks we’ve done are around cities, this has to do with the fact Eliza was 9 months old when we left Australia, and then when she was 17 months I got pregnant with Jeremiah. So neither of us were keen on using the back pack style child carriers so we haven’t done much walking!

But lately in the afternoons when it hasn’t been raining, I’ve been taking the kids for a walk,now the walk may only consist of going up and down our street, but you would be amazed what walking 1KM does to little legs.

It means that at that 3-5pm lull that I am sure we all have where you think you can no longer possibly keep your eyes open and where your kids start to whinge and cry over the fact their toy horse is in the wrong spot, get outside it does WONDERS!

You can only worry about money for so long before you accept that you’re just going to be broke for the forseeable future and put your mind to feeling happy for a change. Someone asked why I was so grumpy today. Haha, maybe I’ve just got that kind of face. But I do stop functioning after too many early mornings and unfortunately I come to life after dark (the witching hour and all that) which makes for a combination that is starting to exhaust me. My exhaustion, I am sure, could easily be construed as grumpiness! I haven’t made any Coosticks music for a while, but its coming. I’ve recently found out that an old friend is somewhat of a computer whiz and keen to help our online presence become a bit more successful, I am playing in another band for fun (and perhaps money before too long) and I’m back on it come January the 1st with the Coo, so things aren’t as dark as tonight is trying to insist.

I remember when my kids were young and there was a time in the late afternoon – early evening that the pediatrician used to call the “witching hour” where babies often cry for no particular reason and parents want to pull their own hair out because they can’t get their baby to stop crying.

Well, my kids are a bit older now and while they no longer have a witching hour, I sure do.  The hours from about 4:00 pm – 6:00 pm are the worst part of my day.  I’ve eaten all of my abstinent snacks by then and have to wait until close to 6:30 to eat our family dinner.  This is the time of day when I’m always put to the test.  Of course, certain situations like out-of-the-house parties, events, etc., no matter what time of day they are, are always a challenge, but on a “normal” day when I work out of my home, that 4-6 time is the roughest part of the day for me.

I inevitably get hungry (or at least think I am) and I really don’t have any calories allotted to eat at that point.  Lord forbid I should be hungry and not do anything about it!!!  I will drink water, hot tea or have a diet soda, but that doesn’t seem to do it.  My next move is to suck on a 8-calorie hard candy.  Sometimes that does the trick, sometimes it doesn’t.  I recently just started to drink a cup of decaf coffee with artificial sweeteners and a touch of fat-free cream.  Somehow that has more “umph” to it than the tea, like it is one step closer to food.  Once I start to cook dinner at around 5:45 – 6:00, I’m usually fine.  So getting over that hurdle without getting into food that is not in my plan, is a small victory for me.  I am grateful each day to make it to that point. 

I guess it doesn’t help that my kids are both home by 4:00 and they both like to do their homework in the kitchen and that my laptop/desk, where I work,  is in the kitchen.  The kitchen is the mission control for me, which now that I think about it, could be part of my problem.

Hello dear readers,

not just a pumpkin!

Here we are almost at the witching hour of Halloween (ok, so for some of us the witching hour has already come and gone and it is now 1st November……whatever!!!    Wherever you are I hope you joined in the fun and got some real great treats.

As for us here in the UK and for our Americans cousins on the other side of the water, midnight is on the way and our trick or treating is yet to come.

And as it approaches do you ever stop to wonder about the what, why or how of Halloween.   Personally I love the idea, I also love the US of A for introducing us to the idea.   Any excuse for a bit of fun is good with me

I decided to do a bit of research this year, not having stopped to answer the above questions myself in the past and this is what I found:

Wikipedia:

Halloween (also spelled Hallowe’en) is an annual holiday celebrated on October 31.    It has roots in the Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian holy day of All Saints.    It is largely a secular celebration but some have expressed strong feelings about perceived religious overtones.

The colours black and orange have become associated with the celebrations, perhaps because of the darkness of night and the colour of fire or of pumpkins, and maybe because of the vivid contrast this presents for merchandising. Another association is with the jack-o’-lantern (named after the phenomenon of strange light flickering over peat bogs, called ignis fatuus or jack-o’-lantern).   Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, wearing costumes and attending costume parties, ghost tours, bonfires, visiting haunted attractions, pranks, telling scary stories, and watching horror films.”

I am totally into things that go bump in the night, scary movies, ghost stories, haunted castles, being scared witless and having fun watching other people being scared witless;  so this type of event is right up my alley.

I was watching ‘Autumn Watch‘ on BBC2 last night and they showed Simon in Abney-Park Hackney Cemetery wandering about at night, which is so cool.  Abney-Park became the first non-denominational Victorian Cemetery.

so if you are into being scared witless, ghosts, and things that go bump in the night why not venture into your local cemetery tonight, the UK certainly has plenty of really ancient graveyards that should fulfil your wildest nightmares then drop by later and leave us a comment on what you got up to!

My thanks to our American cousins for introducing us to this marvellous event.   HAPPY HALLOWEEN

it’s true. the witching hour actually exists.  today, henri was A-dorable from the time i got home around 2 or so, until around 5-ish, at which point he started “thrashing” himself on to the floor, Jack Black style, while simultaneously jumping in and out of his turned-upside-down (kid) armchair, until he hit his head on the corner of the coffee table.  he started crying, but then realized it would be more comforting just to lie on the floor, face-down, and play dead.

OMG. i have never witnessed such a transformation.  sure, he’s hungry, tired, bored…blah blah blah.  i get it.  so that means he goes insane?  becomes a rock star? practically slices his left ear off?  aren’t there easier ways to get attention…?

emo henri

call me crazy. but i’m a fan of words, and using them.  how old does he have to be before he can understand the phrase, “MOM. PAY ATTENTION TO ME. NOW.”  the kid knows what a compost is. he’s recognizes about ten letters and the numbers 4 and 2.  i think he can learn to say “yo, i need some lovin’ biyatches.”

wait.  is this some sort of genetic malfunctioning i’ve passed down? the inability to ask for help (or anything else) when you need it…?  uh-oh. get the baby meds. let’s stop this “nervous breakdown” before it happens…

The whites of my eyeballs are visible. That’s because I’m awake. I woke at 3 AM, the time that many believe to be the true witching hour, not midnight. When asked, most people say that when they wake in the night, the clock says 3. Christ was supposed to have died on the cross at 3 PM. So 3 AM is the exact opposite.

If you believe this sort of thing, the powers of witches and demons and ghosts are apparently at their peak at this hour, and it’s the best time to practice black magic if you’re so inclined. I’m not. The number three also represents the Maiden, Mother, Crone in the Pagan religion and Father, Son and Holy Ghost in the Christian religion. Are you trembling yet?

I don’t know about any of this, but I do know that three o’clock is usually the time I see on the clock when I wake in the middle of the night.

…but then it could be biorhythms. I know even less about that than the witching hour. I think I’ve written about this witching hour thing before… Sorry. Short term memory loss rears its ugly head, or maybe not. Can’t remember.

It’s after 4:30 now. Time to go back to bed and try again. I have to get up in a few hours and go to the grocery store and then see what we can accomplish today. I think H want’s to install some smoke alarms before C moves in. Brand new. They’ve been in the box for almost three years. Bad…I know.

This is the seventh post in this series. The series pits non superhero genre characters from DC and Marvel against each other. The first post looked at Westerns and Western heroes (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/02/13/dc-vs-marvel-western-heroes/), the second post looked at war comics and war heroes (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/dc-vs-marvel-war-heroes/), the third post looked at women’s comics and working women (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/04/11/dc-vs-marvel-working-women) and the fourth post looked at space operas and spacemen (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/04/20/dc-vs-marvel-spacemen/). The fifth post analyzed funny animals (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/06/10/dc-vs-marvel-funny-animals/). The sixth post looked at the teenagers of teenage humor comic books (http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/dc-vs-marvel-teenagers/). The eighth and next post will look at kid’s comic books.

This post looks at the horror genre. I had problems separating the horror genre from the superhero genre. This would not have been a problem when I was reading comic books in the sixties and seventies when I was younger. However, since at least the eighties, DC and Marvel heroes that belong to the horror genre have been incorporated into their mainstream comic book universes to the point that they are often just another type of superhero.

For example, Blade, who fights vampires, has done so many crossovers with mainstream Marvel characters that he is no longer a hero of the horror genre but a hero with horror roots who inhabits the Marvel superhero universe. The mystery that is essential in horror is lost when the characters of horror are overused in a flashy superhero universe that in many ways is the antithesis of horror. Superheroes wear bright colors and fly off into the sunset versus inhabiting a world beneath the moon, moss and worms. When you juxtapose a creature of horror with a superhero the creature of horror is lessened. The suspension of disbelief is just too much. I can temporarily believe in a world of horror. I can temporarily believe in a world of superheroes. I can only believe in a world with both superheroes and horror with difficulty.
The entire Vertigo line, a DC imprint, can be seen as an excellent attempt to bring the sense of horror back to DC by creating boundaries between creatures of horror and superheroes for the purposes of better story telling. So who represents pure horror in the DC and Marvel universes? I would argue the horror hosts do! Most horror comic books are anthologies with one-shot characters that often die a horrible death at the end and are never seen again. You have the same problem with romance comics. Both genre focus on single shot stories and finding ongoing characters in both genres is hard do. So what sort of character survives in a horror comic book? The host of the stories is who!
A horror host is the host of a horror comic book anthology. The most famous horror host does not belong to either the DC or Marvel line but to EC Comics. The host for the EC comic book Tales of the Crypt was the Crypt Keeper and perhaps the only horror host to make the transition to TV where the same character hosted the very popular and long running TV show of the same name and also two movies and even a Saturday morning cartoon named Secrets of the Cryptkeepers Haunted House. The Crypt Keeper was one of the GhouLunatics and that included fellow EC horror hosts the Vault Keeper and the Old Witch.

The DC horror hosts include Abel, Cain, Charity, Destiny, Eve, Mad Mod Witch, Madame Xanadu, and Macbeth’s witches (Mordred, Mildred and Cynthia). Abel was the host of the House of Secrets. Cain was the host of the House of Mystery. They are the Cain and Abel of Biblical fame and an ongoing gag is that Cain kills Abel over and over again whenever there is a crossover between the two brothers. The two houses sit next to each other so a little neighborly interaction is only to be expected. Charity was the host of Forbidden Tales of the Dark Mansion and probably wins the title of most obscure and forgotten DC horror host. Destiny hosted Weird Mystery Tales. Eve hosted Secrets of Sinister House from issues # 6-16. Eve later generally replaced Destiny as the host of Weird Mystery Tales. Abel and Cain are officially cousins of Eve. The Mad Mod Witch was the, on again of again, host of Unexpected from issue #108 onwards and with the alias Fashion Thing was rebooted by Neil Gaiman in the Sandman. Madame Xanadu was the host of Doorway to Mystery. Madame Xanadu returned in the first direct sales only comic book in Madame Xanadu. The series is a one-shot. The witches Mordred, Mildred and Cynthia hosted the Witching Hour. Lucian was the host of the short lived Tales of Ghost Castle.  Neil Gaiman made use of all the DC horror hosts, except Charity, in his Sandman series. Heck, even Lucian, perhaps the most obscure of the horror hosts became a librarian of the Sandman.  All the horror hosts have gone onto new fame and prominence in the Vertigo line that probably exceeds the fame and prominence they had during their original title runs in the sixties and seventies.

In the Sandman title, Destiny and is one of the Endless who in turn are mightier than gods. Destiny has been able to resist the influence of Zeus. Zeus is in turn much mightier than for example Superman. Zeus can create a female version of Superman, Wonder Woman. Destiny is one of the most powerful characters in the DC universe but is also considered the most boring story teller by Abel, Cain and Eve.

Despite a slew of horror tiles by Marvel/Atlas including Beware, Chamber of Chills, Chamber of Darkness. Creatures on the Loose, Crypt of Shadows, Dead of Night, Fear, Giant Size Chillers, Journey into Mystery (2nd series), Tomb of Darkness, Tower of Shadows, Uncanny Tales (2nd series), Vault of Evil, Weird Wonder Tales, Where Creatures Roam and Where Monsters Dwell only one of these titles had a horror host! Digger and Headstone P. Gravely hosted Tower of Shadows that was designed to go head on against DCs House of Mystery and House of Secrets. I do remember Tower of Shadows and I even remember the story of the first issue and I was like 14 years old at the time! I don’t remember the horror hosts at all. Two unknown hosts versus an interconnected family of DC hosts that are major part of the current DC/Vertigo universe? This contest doesn’t seem fair at all and I am going to change the rules! I am going to bring in a Marvels number one comic book host! The Watcher!

The Watcher acted as a host to futuristic stories in Tales of Suspense starting in issue #39 in the sixties. The Watcher acted as second story to the main Iron Man story. The stories were titled Tales of the Watcher. I actually often preferred the Watcher stories to the Iron Man stories and am totally aghast that Marvel has not made an Essential version of Tales of the Watcher. I mean Werewolf by Night and Spiderwoman get an Essential volume but not those great stories by the Watcher? The tradition was carried on in the first volume of the Silver Surfer. Later still the Watcher became the host of What If stories that were 100% superhero stories but the original Tales of the Watcher were mainstream science fiction complete with a Twilight Zone sort of lesson about the universe and/or humanity told by the Watcher at the end.

Despite their genre difference the Watcher and Destiny actually have an awful lot in common. The Watcher is a cosmic entity. Destiny is a cosmic entity. Destiny is a lot more powerful but like the Watcher mostly tells stories, and despite being blind, “observes” and doesn’t really do much. The Watcher is bald and for all we know Destiny might be bald as well. Destiny always wears a cowl and this is probably to hide his baldness. I would see Destiny as being somewhere in the power class of the Living Tribunal over at Marvel. Destiny and the Living Tribunal both wear cowls by the way. The Watcher is at least two hierarchical levels below the Living Tribunal.

The Living Tribunal is even more powerful than Eternity or Death that only represent the totality of one universe. Both Destiny and the Living Tribunal are multiverse type beings that more or less bring balance to the multiverse. There isn’t a different Destiny or Living Tribunal in each universe but one for the whole dang multiverse. A being that performs a balancing multiverse function has to be more powerful than any being limited to one universe no matter how powerful they are in that one universe. Destiny could squash the Watcher but this won’t happen.
Destiny and the Watcher are hyper rational, Mr. Spock is emotional compared to those two, and I do mean the old Mr. Spock, not that new guy French kissing Uhura, and would never engage in aggressive behavior except in self defense and neither would attack the other first since that would be illogical, uncivilized and just bad manners. Destiny and the Watcher both exchange the very best stories from their mutual universes and agree I am not a very good story teller and perhaps should find another hobby. This “DC versus Marvel” story ends in a draw.

Well folks, I did it again. Another learning experience with WordPress. I deleted a database table that I shouldn’t have deleted and am just fortunate that I found an xml backup on my hard drive. Of course I found the sql backup right after that. But alas, it was too late. So here we are…. It feels kind of good to have another freshish start, and it gives me a little project to work on. It is now the witching hour(3am), though, and I think it is time for a little folding of the hands(sleep)…

Einige nette Stücke habe ich auch bei Threadless wieder gespottet. Einen besonders guten Eindruck macht der Titel “Witching Hour”. Nicht zur verachten sind ebenfalls “Coexistence” und “Let Go”. Neben dem herkömmlichen Sortiment führt Threadless auch Twitter-Shirts. Äußerst passend ist “Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam” – alles für 18 US-Dollar je Shirt.

At least in my mind Tour De France fever has hit our household. I have decked myself and the kids out in shirts from St. Mel Designs, given lectures on yellow, green and polka dot jerseys and explained pelotons, bidons and the like. I have even pondered watching every stage live just to experience sleep deprivation like a parent. But I have heard anecdotally that it is a pretty tough gig and really frazzles the mind. So I’m sticking to recording the stages and watching the highlights.

As readers of a previous post would know I am pretty keen for my kids to experience some of the simple pleasures available from bike riding. But when does a parental passion turn into an unhealthy obsession for the children?

I’m pretty sure that if either of my kids have legs like this before they hit their teens then I will have overdone the bike riding. At the other end of the spectrum I am watching a lot of cycling at the moment and inevitably the kids are absorbing this. So I’m also on the lookout for square eyes. It is a tough balance- square eyes or rock hard calves!

Whilst on holidays last week the line became a bit more blurred for me. I wanted to watch the seasons most anticipated match between St. Kilda and Geelong. Like many Victorians in Queensland I had to watch the game at a pub. I have clearly become accustomed to young children around me because I barely noticed the number of young children and prams in the pub as I walked through looking for a seat. I grabbed a beer and found a vantage point. It was a cracking game but as time wore on and it got closer to witching hour I became aware of the number of babies crying and kids sitting around bored.

The kids weren’t in any harm, it was late afternoon, their parents were with them and from my occasional glances away from the big screen, the kids just seemed bored. I was fortunate that my wife was happy to entertain our kids at the pool so I’m not sure where the line was.

However, the fine line was crossed with Mark Cavendish like speed by one dad. Over the course of the game he downed eight schooners, chain smoked and late in the game started yelling and cursing at the TV, all whilst his young son sat next to him.

Gentle readers, insomnia has struck again.  In honor of the occasion, I thought it would be nice to share a bedtime story.

Tonight’s chapter comes from one of my all-time favorites books, The BFG, by my all-time favorite author, Roald Dahl.  The man could spin a tale like no one else, sucking me into his stories and making be believe that I was in fact the child hero.  Although The BFG is a children’s book, I still pull it out every now and again to reread it, which I may have done hundreds of times by now.

I always think of this passage on nights like tonight, when the wee hours of the morning are creeping along and sleep still eludes me, and my imagination, already quite overactive, starts working overtime, making monsters out of the shadows in the moonlight that cuts through the miniblinds.

Sophie couldn’t sleep.

A brilliant moonbeam was slanting through a gap in the curtains.  It was shining right on to her pillow.

The other children in the dormitory had been asleep for hours.

Sophie closed her eyes and lay quite still.  She tried very hard to doze off.

It was no good.  The moonbeam was like a silver blade slicing through the room on to her face.

The house was absolutely silent.  No voices came up from downstairs.  There were no footsteps on the floor above either.

The window behind the curtain was wide open, but nobody was walking on the pavement outside.  No cars went by on the street.  Not the tiniest sound could be heard anywhere.  Sophie had never known such a silence.

Perhaps, she told herself, this is what they called the witching hour.

The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world to themselves.

* * * * *

The moonbeam was brighter than ever on Sophie’s pillow.  She decided to get out of bed and close the gap in the curtains.

You got punished if you were caught out of bed after lights-out.  Even if you said you had to go to the lavatory, that was not accepted as an excuse and they punished you just the same.  But there was no one about now, Sophie was sure of that.

She reached out for her glasses that lay on the chair beside her bed.  They had steel rims and very thick lenses, and she could hardly see a thing without them.  She put them on, then she slipped out of bed and tip-toed over to the window.

* * * * *

When she reached the curtains, Sophie hesitated.  She longed to duck underneath them and lean out of the window to see what the world looked like now that the witching hour was at hand.

She listened again.  Everywhere it was deathly still.

The longing to look out became so strong she couldn’t resist it.  Quickly, she ducked under the curtains and leaned out of the window.

In the silvery moonlight, the village street she knew so well seemed completely different.  The houses looked bent and crooked, like houses in a fairy tale.  Everything was pale and ghostly and milky-white.

Across the road, she could see Mrs Rance’s shop, where you bought buttons and wool and bits of elastic.  It didn’t look real.  There was something dim and misty about that too.

Sophie allowed her eye to travel further and further down the street.

Suddenly she froze.  There was something coming up the street on the opposite side

It was something black…

Something tall and black…

Something very tall and very black and very thin.¹

Why yes, yes they are!  It all started on Wednesday when Dana dropped by for a visit and kidnapped me from the house for a few hours. We wandered a mall going in and out of stores simply window shopping. At least, that’s what I did. Dana bought rocks. She recently started designing jewelry and has been on a bead and stone kick. The mall led us to one of the most amazing “bead” stores called the Rock Barrel in Dallas.

While we perused all the shiny stuff Dana and I began to talk about stories. She had recently added a bit to Witching Hour.  While I was aware of this – I admit to checking the posts on E! on occassion, I hadn’t really decided to get back to writing it. While in the car Finger Eleven’s song ‘Paralyzer’ came on.  Not even two bars into the song Dana says “I still think of Riley every time this song comes on. When are you going to write that story?”

See a while back (at least a year or more) I started an RP story with Dana and one of the characters I tossed her way was a male vampire named Riley. I used the song as a way to introduce him. Apparently the song + my written description of Riley really stuck with her because every time the song came on the radio after that Dana mentions Riley. (And I really do mean every time.)

Yesterday I finally started the story up again. Between two lengthy posts  for what I am calling The Black Orchid Consortium and the posts for Witching Hour and Pulse  I wrote roughly 2,000 words. I made three short OST’s for all the stories to help me along and right now I think my favorite has to be the one for Witching Hour.

Let’s see what today brings.

Whenever it seems like I cannot do anything right, everything I do or say is wrong, and I would’ve been better off staying in bed, I play this song, and at least it makes me smile. Despite the ruin of my day and life at least I have this song and a smile.

This might be an appropriate April Fools’ Day song too for any of you victims or victors out there! Replace the salt with sugar, tape the kitchen sink sprayer closed, super glue pennies to the pavement, set other peoples’ alarm clocks a bit early, and put on your running shoes. You may need them.

Click here for more info on Ladytron – Witching Hour – “Destroy Everything You Touch”.

The MP3 may be purchased here:

Ladytron - Witching Hour

As the 80’s sputtered to a close, electronic music with mainstream appeal began to die on the vine. The popular taste had moved on and electronic bands that defined the early part of the decade were disbanding, changing or just fading away. 

But meanwhile exciting things were happening across Europe. For years bands like Cabaret Voltaire and Throbbing Gristle were working outside the confines of more popular forms of electronic music, but this remained steadfastly on the fringes (Cabaret Voltaire would enjoy some degree of commercial success with later tracks like “Sensoria” and “I Want You” but would streamline their sound a great deal in the process). Ministry morphed from a British-style traditional synthpop band into a darker, experimental electro band, then further to the fringes until they found themselves out of the scene altogether as a de facto heavy metal band (but with numerous side projects that kept their feet firmly planted in the outer reaches of the genre, like PTP and Revolting Cocks). The masses weren’t in the loop but electronic music was doing some very exciting and interesting things, off to the side.

Front 242: Front by Front (1988)

More than any band of the era Belgium’s Front 242 shifted the narrative of electronic music at the tail end of the 1980’s. Though they had been active throughout the 80’s it wasn’t until 1987’s Official Version that they started to enjoy wider appeal. That album took the rougher, harder-edged beats from the European club scene and rounded off the edges just enough to create a danceable version of that which had captured the imagination of the inheritors of the punk ethos. 

The band coined the phrase EBM, or electronic body music, and thereafter the EBM movement, and its offshoot, Darkwave was as vital, and prolific a segment of the totality of electronic music as any other.

This album showed that the music could be edgy and challenging but still accessible and suddenly the electronic universe felt a lot larger. No track better exemplified this than “Headhunter”, the catchy, aggressive stomper with allusions to slavery. Even 20 years later it still stands up as among the best of the subgenre. 

But though it is the track most recognize, there was more than “Headhunter” to the album. “Welcome to Paradise” makes great use of samples vocal snippets (a frequent go-to-the-well option for the band, especially bits and pieces of preachers doing their thing, a staple, incidentally, of electronic music from Cabaret Voltaire to Recoil); “Never Stop” screams in your face until you pay homage; “Until Death (Do Us Part)” established the mid tempo plodder scores of EBM bands have since attempted to emulate. While Official Version and even the earlier No Comment might be “better” albums, with more creatively built songs, it was Front by Front that smashed through the barriers and offered an official “fuck you” to the masses, saying, “Like it or not this is the future. Now get busy dancing.”

Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral (1994)

The 1990’s were a bleak time for electronic music. The decade got off with a bang with the release of Depeche Mode’s Violator, but thereafter the wheels came off. Nitzer Ebb and Front 242 flamed out mid-decade; Al Jourgenson’s various side projects produced less and less frequently as Ministry turned ever more sharply away from electro; Pet Shop Boys and Erasure drifted into irrelevance; things were brewing in the early days of the Swedish electronic scene (which would breath new life into the genre in the ‘oughts’, but were years away from being fully realized) and in other corners of the world but remained solidly on the fringes; the EBM scene fell into a rut and was producing little of real interest; and Depeche Mode themselves, splintered and began producing self indulgent work, fueled by the worst in rock cliche excesses.

But the genre had a little life in it yet. Trent Reznor teamed with noted electronic producer John Fryer to release Pretty Hate Machine in 1989, and the album was a tonic. Someone had fully harnessed the best of electronic music and fused it with hard edged metal-influenced guitar and more importantly, tapped into a from-deep-in-the-gut anger. It was Janov’s primal scream therapy put to a beat. He floundered about for some years after releasing the underwhelming EPs Broken and Fixed, but it was in 1994 that he built his masterpiece.

It was best realized on “Closer”, the most purely electronic and also most viscerally angry song on the album. Never before (or since, frankly) was there a more perfectly blended vision of NIN’s various influences. It was so fresh, no new that it single-handedly breathed new life into an entire, atrophying genre. “Heresy” is one of the boldest anti-religion screeds this side of XTC’s “Dear God”, and tracks like “Ruiner” are almost overwhelmingly propulsive with something new discovered in the mix with each listen.

Recorded at the site of the Sharon Tate murder, the album makes numerous dark references to the “Pig” terminology (referencing the scrawlings on the walls at the hands of Manson’s acolytes), and some called it tasteless, others thought it overly affected, but ultimately it fed into the atmosphere of pure dark energy, the better to create an album of such sheer unadulterated power. Once again, the boundaries had been stretched, the definition of what constituted electronic music thrown to the trash heap and we had to rethink the very concept of the genre.

The here and now/the future

Wait, is he going to do that douchy thing of doing a “top ten” list and making it a “no, really it’s eleven, or even twelve?” Well yeah, I am. But only to illustrate that the genre and its countless subgenres have a rich life yet to live. Two albums released in recent years show us how much excitement can still be had in the world of electronic music.

Goldfrapp: Supernature (2006) & Ladytron: Witching Hour (2005)

Two albums gave the genre a serious shot in the arm in the mid-to-late 00’s. Goldfrapp built an ode to disco with their clever, thoughtful Supernature and Ladytron burst out of the gate with the darker, pulsating, but equally thoughtful Witching Hour. Each of these albums showed the instrumentation mattered less than the ability to write kick-ass songs and each did just that using the digital tools available to them. If ever one thought that the best days of electronic music lay in the 80’s or early 90’s in the case of EBM, darkwave, trance or other offshoots, their fears were quickly shown the back of the genre’s hand. There’s so much yet to come. Electropop lives on (thank you Goldfrapp), sleaze-pop is healthy, (thanks Client), industrial, trance, hybrid, each subgenre has a lot of life to come.

You may disagree with any or all of the ten (okay, 12), if so let is hear it. This is not a definitive list, but a series of suggested signposts on the road between Kraftwerk and the best the genre has to offer today. Each had their role to play, each was an essential album that kept the genre pulsing through the years. And most importantly each one is one hell of a good listen.

The newest feature of the Parenting Tips Book Moms’ Lifesavers: Tips to Make Life Easier for New Mothers, is a sneak preview of Page 49, which discusses those difficult hours just before baby’s bedtime.

Click here to read the PDF, or just read below:

The “Witching” Hours

New mothers will find that late afternoon until children’s bedtime will be the most challenging hours of the day. These hours are often packed with routines (meal, bath, and bed) at a time when children are either tired or wired. Throw in an exhausted parent and you have a potential brew of exasperation. To avoid ending every day at the end of your rope, do what you can to make this time period run as smoothly as possible.

Bewitching Tips to Try

• Drop everything! Know that this is a tough time and prepare – don’t take phone calls, plan to be at home, try to plan ahead.

• Have as much meal planning and preparation done in advance as possible. Make supper whenever you get time during the day, and heat it up as needed at meal time. Crock pots are ideal.

• If you are making dinner, allow the kids to “help” if possible. Giving them small things to do both keeps them busy and may entice them to eat what “they’ve” made.

• Stick to a schedule, and try to get everyone fed early.

• Get the children outside playing if possible – go for a walk, let them run around.

• Take walks in the stroller every afternoon.

• Carry baby in a sling, front pack, or backpack as they love the motion and it keeps them content.

• Save a special video or a favorite taped TV show that they are allowed to watch only at this time.

• Keep noise and extra stimulation to a minimum by turning off electronics.

• Play soothing music.

• Provide quiet activities, such as puzzles, coloring and story time.

• Have a “grab bag” of activities that only comes out during this time, so the activities will be more exciting.

• Provide a small, nutritious snack in mid-afternoon so that your children are not running out of fuel.

• Give yourself slack – if the kitchen’s a mess, the playroom’s a disaster, and you’ve given them noodles three nights in a row, don’t worry, there’s always tomorrow!

• Sing a lot of silly songs with actions, pillow fights, crazy dancing to music –anything to make your child laugh and be active so that they are ready for bed with happy thoughts.

• Loosen your grip on getting tasks done and spend time with the kids. Things will get done.

• Take cool-off time if you think you’re going to lose it! Have one small area of your house that is always clean and organized, and take a five minute breather there to get yourself together (even if it’s the bathroom!).

• When old enough, give the kids jobs to do such as setting the table, putting recyclables into bin, and cleaning up the toys.

Some of what makes this so tough is that we are trying to do everything! With patience waning and fatigue increasing, it is the worst time to tackle the chores that await us. Establish a routine that works for everyone. I always found that the closer I kept my kids to me at this time, the easier it was for me to manage it all.

 This book is a perfect gift for New Moms and Moms-to-Be!

Online Showcasing Service Provided by Myrtle Beach Website Designer.

Now reading: Nights at the Circus, by Angela Carter.

A couple of things early on here remind me of The Manuscript Found in Saragossa.  We again have a story of a story being told.  And there are, again, questions of motivation and intention: why is the story being told at all, and why to the person it’s being told to?  There are, also, some hints of artifice, of Carter behind the curtain, relishing her fiction, and of characters with secret identities (most humorously, Lizzie, who seems to be the rare fin-de-siecle Cockney capable of explaining mid-20th-century feminist theory, if Sophie would just let her).  One fascinating flourish is the repetition of the phrase “green hinge,” in reference to Midsummer Night and May 1, respectively.  The first time this is spoken by Sophie herself; then it is repeated in her story by her crazed, phallus-worshiping abductor.  Is this a hint that Sophie is making it all up — a slip revealing her own mannerisms in others’ mouths?  Or did the phrase stick with her when her abductor used it, and work its way into her vocabulary?

However, the most interesting (coincidental) echo of TMFiS is the play with time and the idea of the “witching hour,” when witches, ghosts, and such are most active — typically, 12-1am.  In TMFiS, the witching hour was evoked by the recurrence of a bell tolling midnight right before weird things started happening at the Venta Quemada.  In Nights at the Circus, it’s a little more complicated.  Throughout the first section, there’s also a bell repeatedly striking twelve times for midnight.   But here, the bell strikes twelve over and over again, in one night.  And the bell is that of Big Ben, ringing through London.

Furthermore, the clock in the dressing room of Sophie Fevvers is also stuck on midnight.  Sophie’s telling her story, and she introduces this clock and explains the positions of its hands during her discussion of her childhood in the brothel of one Ma Nelson:

It was a figure of Father Time with a scythe in one hand and a skull in the other above a face on which the hands stood always at either midnight or noon, the minute hand and the hour hand folded perpetually together as if in prayer, for Ma Nelson said the clock in her reception room must show the dead centre of the day or night, the shadowless hour, the hour of vision and revelation, the still hour in the centre of the storm of time.

So throughout the night, time stands still at the witching hour — or, in Sophie’s words, “the shadowless hour.”  And there’s the puzzle of Sophie: is she telling the shadowless truth of how she came to have wings and travel the world as the star of a circus, or is she bewitching her young interviewer?  Is this magic, or truth, or just another aspect of a beautiful, self-inventing con?  Witch itself is surely a quite complicated word for Carter, and it will be fascinating to see what kind of witch she’s created here.

So I came home from school from a horrible week of school (on Thursday night, I stayed up til 3 AM doing homework and woke up at 6:30 AM. I was so tired that I wasn’t even tired. I took a math test. -.-;;, and it was homecoming and people were giggin’ the night away), watched TV and then slept at like 6 PM and woke up at 9. It’s Homecoming Friday. HAHAHAH oh well, I’m going out ‘tonight’. It’s 2:16 AM right now and this is what I’ve been doing since I have last awaken:

Right now, this instant, I’m watching the short drama Lovecon (Lovely Complex). But earlier ‘today’, I watched the other short drama series called ‘Houkago’ (which means After School).

The only reason i watched Houkago was because it had Horikita Maki, my favorite Japanese actress in it! And kind of because Koike Teppei was too. lol It was an okay story. Some of the moments made me happy though. Only the parts with Ai and Teppei’s character though, they were super cute and not drama-ish.

I really like the idea of how Teppei’s character was the shy, gruff kid who wouldn’t confess and he put an ‘exchange notebook’ in Ai’s shoe cubby and the books and wahh! it was cute. Maki’s part was kind of drama-d up and I didn’t like her interactions with the other characters. And the annoying character who was super in love with the same guy Maki was? She was hella annoying! The last character, Sae, was pretty and probably the most normal of all of them.

It wasn’t groundbreaking, but it was nice to pass the time.

So yeah. Right now, I’m like 2 seconds into Lovecon which has Teppei in it already. This is weird. I didn’t really like him at first, cuz he is the cute little kid type and not like… say… Osamu Mukai. But his voice (singing and normal) is CUTE!

Here is the Top 30 Guys who Make Japanese Girls Heart-Quicken:

That was bomb, huh? I only know/like 10 of them. Anyway, for you searching purposes…

3. Oguri Shun
8.  Koike Teppei
10. GACKT
11. JaeJoong
13. Sato Takeru (doesn’t really make my heart beat faster, but whatevs)
18. SHIROTA YU (oh my damnnn!!!)
19. Hayami Mocomichi
23. Mizushima Hiro
27. Yamamoto Yusuke
29. OSAMU MUKAI (oh my dammmmmmn again!!)

I think this outburst was cuz I was super deprived this week and this weekend, I don’t have much homework! YOW!!

Saturday night is gonna be super fun, though. Melissa Lee’s birthday dinner and then extreme spoonz? I’m so ready!!

Anyway… I will leave this little window open and briefly review Lovecon (or the parts I watch) later.

-3:18 AM-
I’m about half-way through Lovecon. It’s HELLA cute!! And the soundtrack is also well done. (edit: The fruity cyclo dude is SUPER FUNNY). Teppei is also super dense. So frustrating. -.-;;

“You love who you love, what’s wrong with that?”

ps. you can plug in regular headphones in the microphone hole in your computer and use that as a microphone on skype. WHAT THE HELLLLLLL