No write up last week but i got 6 results and no perfect scores, There are some tough games to predict this week but here goes anyway, Just predictions this week, more of a write up next week.

Saturday

Blackburn Rovers V Stoke City

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-1 draw

Fulham V Bolton Wanderers

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for Fulham

Manchester City V Hull City

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 win for Man City

Portsmouth V Manchester United

Mystic Jarv predicts a 0-2 win for United

West Ham United V Burnley

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for West ham

Wigan Athletic V Sunderland

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-2 win for Sunderland

Aston Villa V Tottenham Hotspur

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-2 win for Villa

Sunday

Wolverhampton Wanderers V Birmingham City

Mystic Jarv predicts a 0-1 win for Brum

Everton V Liverpool

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for Everton

Arsenal V Chelsea

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-1 draw

Written by Jarv

As Always for all your premier league discussion and Match discussion please visit Away Goals Rule Football Forum

On Thursday 17th December Steve Walsh and Steve Bull will be co-hosting a Q&A night at the Walkers Stadium…


They have obviously mellowed towards each other because there was a time when Walsh and Bull was our version of Ali and Frazier, Holyfield and Tyson, Eubanks and Benn… it certainly livened up a few Leicester/Wolves encounters in the late eighties and early nineties.
The first bout came one November evening at Filbert Street in 1989. In the middle of a hum-drum 0-0 draw Walsh tackled Wolves’ legendary centre-forward. It was hard but fair, but Bull didn’t seem to think so. He leapt to his feet, swung a fist into Walsh’s face and then flung himself backwards to the ground in a bizarre attempt to frame Walsh. The ref had no choice but to send Bull packing.
A grudge was born and then carefully nurtured with Bull protesting his innocence to the press in the face of overwhelming video evidence to the contrary.
In the return game at Molineux that season Bull was in scorching form and hit hat trick in a 5-0 victory. Walsh was given the run around that night and he didn’t look best pleased about it, though actual unarmed combat was avoided on this occasion. The next meeting at Molineux brought a 2-1 win for Wolves and there was plenty of needle between the two protagonists still bubbling below the surface. The Mercury carried a photo of the two squaring up with foreheads pressed together like rutting stags, and if looks could kill there would have been two funerals that day.
Over the next season the Walsh/Bull War seemed to have cooled down. City beat Wolves 3-0 and Bull received a bad knock in the groin to the delight of the Kop. Honour was satisfied. But then the peace was shattered on an August evening at Molineux at the beginning of the 1992-93 season. The opening shots were fired early in the game. Bull received a yellow card for a dreadful high challenge on Walsh, and then beat the City centre-half to the ball to score his 200th goal for Wolves. Neither of these incidents had given Walsh much cause to whistle a happy tune and his blank gaze and set jaw-line boded ill. The Central TV cameras were firmly fixed on the two players when Walsh picked his moment. They were running together, off the ball, jockeying for position, when Bull backed a little too close to his blue-shirted Nemisis. Walsh sharply dipped his head and brought it into contact with Bull’s cropped dome. It wasn’t exactly a Glasgow Kiss from the Duncan Ferguson School, but Bull saw a window of opportunity and reacted as though he had been the victim of a sniper on the South Bank roof. The ref immediately waved a red card in Walsh’s face.
Molineux was mostly building site at this time and the City legend had to pick his lonely way across the wasteland before he could reach the sanctuary of an early bath in the Portakabins. A 3-0 defeat for City and a three match ban for Walsh was the damage. That was the climax of the feud. Walsh missed most of the 1993-94 season due to injury, then City made it to the Premiership, Wolves didn’t and Bull’s star began to fade. Of course, at the time, each incident would be greeted by much tutting and condemnation from the football authorities and TV pundits. But the fans knew that it was pure theatre and Walsh v Bull on the bill put hundreds on the gate!

For details of the Walsh and Bull Q&A e-mail: steve@legendsuk.com

What you missed while scientists were finding a new type of predator coral that can eat jellyfish…

• David Beckham’s LA Galaxy lost the MLS Cup on penalties to Real Salt Lake last night, but Beckham is still planning on coming back after his AC Milan move, possibly with an eye towards one day owning an MLS franchise. Beckham Beckham Beckham Beckham.
• Jermain Defoe scored five goals in Tottenham’s 9-1 demolition of Wigan.
• Barcelona drew 1-1 with Athletic Bilbao Saturday, dropping them behind Real Madrid on the table; even worse, Lionel Messi went down with a thigh tear that will likely leave him out of the Super Classico on Saturday.
• Gaël Kakuta, the controversial Chelsea youth prospect, made his debut against Wolves.
• Liverpool will have to beat Debrecini VSC without Fernando Torres and Ryan Babel; the way things are going lately, look for a 2-2 draw in Hungary tomorrow.
• Carlos Vela’s potential has convinced Arsene Wenger to stop trying to sign Marouane Chamakh.
• Thierry Henry considered quitting after his controversial double dribble against Ireland.
• Philipp Lahm says that Bayern Munich is “sick” and “lame”. No word on whether they’re also “bogus” and “heinous”.
• Switzerland’s FC Gossau and FC Thun have each banned players over their roles in a match fixing scandal.
• Palermo have sacked Walter Zenga for extending the club’s winless run to four games, knocking all the pieces over.
• Rubin Kazan’s scoreless draw with Zenit St. Petersburg saw them clinch their second consecutive Russian Premier League title.
• Gary Neville has hit out against “mollycoddled” players who collect paychecks but never seem to actually play rely on their agents to do everything for them.

Meg: Busy casting a spell on Thierry Henry

Poor old Ireland eh? Thierry Henry’s left hand on Wednesday night put an end to the Green Army’s dream of following their national team to the World Cup, and condemned them to yet another summer of drinking bottles of cider in picturesque countryside taverns that border acres of beautiful apple orchards. Or so Magners would have us believe…

Oh well, at least they can turn their attentions back to the Premier League this weekend, where their most cherished top flight English team will continue their fine unbeaten ru… oh… right… that’s Liverpool isn’t it? Never mind then.

I’m not really doing a very good job at cheering the Irish up, so I’ll get on with my predictions. Same form as usual. Beat me and you win a tenner*.

Birmingham vs Fulham

I was happy to see that I predicted yet another correct outcome involving Liverpool in the last round of Premier League fixtures. I haven’t got anything against Liverpool, but I saw Birmingham going to Anfield, defending for their lives (as they have done all season), and getting something. However, my prediction was probably more based on Liverpool not having a clue this season, and the fact that they still have Lucas in their midfield.

What I didn’t see coming though was The Blues scoring two goals, and Alicia Keys lookalike Cameron Jerome pinging one in from 30 yards. However, I can live with that because Jose Reina didn’t see it coming either, and I guess it was more important for him to be ready for Jerome’s strike than me.

Apart from their dancing badger, there’s not much you can say about Fulham. Whilst I was waiting for my breakfast last Sunday I was given a complimentary paper to read (presumably whilst the pub’s manager attempted to get the Gap year student to stop going for fag breaks and actually cook the full English I had ordered – he failed), and I stumbled across a quote from Roy Hodgson saying that he hoped Fulham fans realise that there is a ceiling on what the club can achieve.

Whilst he is 100% correct about that, it sort of highlights the problem with reviewing them. Yes, they’ll have a game every week. Yes, I’ll have to think of something to say. However with no ambition, there’s no real excitement. Just a freak season once in a while where they’ll either have a relegation dog fight, or they’ll break into the top seven and get a place in a competition that noone cares about, (even if it earns them a few extra quid, offers their fans a few European city breaks).

This season they’ll finish comfortably in mid-table again, which means that their recent success needs to be balanced up with a defeat this weekend. So that’s what I’ve gone for.

Verdict: 2-1

Burnley vs Aston Villa

Burnley are a Championship side punching above their weight in the Premier League. Them’s the fact ladies and gents. If they didn’t have the support of all those blokey-looking women in the home crowd scaring the opposition’s wide players, they’d be relegated already and wiping the tears away with their bingo-wings.

Anyway, they DO have that support, and their home form is why they are still afloat (although if Turf Moor was flooded, the players be able to stay afloat just by grabbing one of the massive buoyancy aids sitting in the stands).

This game therefore should be made all the more interesting by that fact. However, in spite of Villa’s pretty indifferent form of late, I think they’ll win this one easily. The wingers are the reason, and they have two of them in Ashley Young and James Milner who are bang on form right now. If they can avoid the Medusan-like effect of looking directly at the female Burnley fans whilst hugging their touchlines, then I fully expect them to tear The Clarets apart.

Verdict: 1-3

Chelsea vs Wolves

If there was ever a home-win to put your house on, this is it**.

The only way Wolves can win is if they, as previously mooted on Eddies Football Blog, put out a team of real wolves that end up killing and feasting on the entire Chelsea team. However, even if they did that they’d be more than likely to still only get a draw, as I don’t think packs of wolves care much for scoring goals.

Verdict: 3-0

Hull vs West Ham

Last week I must have sent good karma out to Phil Brown with my emotional appeal to keep him in his job at Hull. Not only did they win their game against Stoke, but the man who popped up with the winner may well have inadvertently boosted the Geordie crooner’s transfer budget for the January window.

That’s right; sales of replica shirts with Jan Vennegoor Of Hesselink printed on the back have soared following his injury time strike and, at £1 per letter, that’ll be a nice tidy sum come the end of 2009. Enough to buy Jan-Ingwer Callsen-Bracker from Borussia Monchengladbach perhaps.

It’s a novel approach, but then so is having your half-time team-talk in the middle of the pitch. He’s a pioneer, that Brownie.

By contrast, West Ham ‘ave gone and found themselves a spot of bovva. Tree-trunk legged striker Dean Ashton is expected to retire from football imminently, which is a real shame for the club, the player, and English football in general. The person who will benefit from Ashton’s retirement is World Cup hopeful Carlton Cole, but he must be getting tired of having to do it all on his own.

As a result, The Hammers will have to get Cole to form a partnership with their suggestible Italian Allessandro Diamanti, and will therefore be hoping that the Hull fans don’t all learn the Italian for ‘miss!’ by tomorrow afternoon. Expect an entertaining dogfight though, but obviously without any real dogs (unless a plucky Hammer manages to smuggle his Staffy into the ground, and it ends up getting into a scuffle with Stephen Hunt).

Verdict: 2-2

Liverpool vs Man City

What did I say when I started this whole Premier League predictions thing? Well, I gave you all certain rules to abide by, didn’t I? Certain criteria for aiding you in your conquest, if you will. However, I also said that if you are Mark Lawrenson you must, at all costs, write an indescribably biased prediction in favour of Liverpool.

The Reds go into this weekend with the following form in the last 9 games (in all competitions) – LLLLWLLDD. Despite Gerrard’s return, they are without key striker Fernando Torres, and play a Man City side who have only lost one game in all competitions all season (against Man Utd), and sitting nicely above them in the league. This is why i find the following from ‘Lawro’ the most hilarious piece of biased piffle I have seen in a long time…

“The good news for Liverpool is that it looks like Steven Gerrard has got himself fit, although I’m not sure that Fernando Torres will make this one. Manchester City had four players starting for England last week so it’s not as if they’ve had a rest and that could be a factor.

I think Manchester City now have players capable of taking the game to Liverpool and that might suit the home side as a lot of teams go to Anfield and shut up shop. But this could be an open game and Liverpool will like that. “

So, not only has he turned the potent threat of Man City’s attacking options into an advantage for Liverpool (when, in reality, they will have haunted Jamie Carragher’s dreams this week), but he is also claiming that City’s top-class athletes will need more rest after a game they played 7 bloody days earlier!

This, my friends, is exactly what I was on about. It’s safe to say that I don’t agree with him in the slightest.

Verdict: 1-2

Man Utd vs Everton

This is traditionally a big game, and a game in which Everton I’m sure would want to give a good account of themselves. However, with 11 of their first team players either with knocks or long term injuries, it has turned into a fixture in which David Moyes’ men will just defend in numbers and hope for a point.

With captain Phil Neville absent, a player all too used to winning games at Old Trafford, Everton’s midfield will be outclassed and I can see a United getting three points. Not an easy three points. Or a pretty three points. But three points nonetheless. As Ian Holloway once put it, in gentlemen’s terms, it’ll be like going out and pulling a bird who isn’t the prettiest but, sod it, you’ll still take her home.

Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland vs Arsenal

A really interesting match-up.

Sunderland got mugged last time out against Spurs. Plain and simple. They should have won that game, but for the first time this season they showed their wastefulness in front of goal. They also missed the battering-ram presence of Kenwyne Jones.

If you were to fault Arsenal this season, you could justifiably point a finger at their inability to deal with aerial balls into the box, so they will be relieved to hear that the somersaulting powerhouse is still serving a suspension. However, it is still a weakness that Bruce will target.

That said, Cesc ‘Harry Potter’ Fabregas is in the form of his life, and he will have been rubbing his hands in anticipation after viewing the amount of space that Tom Huddlestone was allowed at White Hart Lane by Sunderland’s midfield. Expect Mackems captain Lorik Cana to return with typical hatchet-man style to remedy that, and make things difficult for the Spaniard (unless, of course, he’s still drunk, and staggering around in his pants somewhere in Algeria).

With Van Persie out for Arsenal, this one is very nicely balanced. I’ll go for a high-scoring draw.

Verdict: 2-2

* N.B. You won’t actually win a tenner. I lied in order to get you involved. I’m sorry. Here’s a tenner to compensat… Balls. I’m at it again. I better stop now before I offer you the keys to my house.

** N.B. If Chelsea don’t win, and you did end up taking my off the cuff remark as actual advice, then you’re an idiot. However, if you need to crash on my sofa for a couple of days whilst you find somewhere new to live, then fine. Just don’t try to sue me. Or drink the beer in my fridge.

Check back tomorrow for my predictions for Sunday’s games (including the weekly 0-0, if you were wondering where it was!)

Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 – 4 Arsenal

0 – 1 Zubar (28 o.g.)
0 – 2 Craddock (35 o.g.)
0 – 3 Fabregas (45)
0 – 4 Arshavin (65)
1 – 4 Craddock (88)

Until teatime today, the Premier League table reflects the how much progress has been made this season, games in hand eliminated from the equation. Yesterday’s win was another indication of what has been put right by growing maturity of younger players, combined with a settled team and stronger central defence.

Wolves started brightly, Arsenal weathering an early storm to pass a tally of 100 goals in a Premier League year. That the century was achieved with two own goals is neither here nor there but indicative of a change in fortunes from November 2008 and the short burst of last season leading up to it.

The hosts could have taken the lead before their own ham-fisted intervention. Gibbs cleared a Doyle effort off the line whilst Berra should have beaten Almunia with a flicked header having been left unmarked in the Arsenal area, instead making solid contact for the perfect defensive header.

Needlessly fouling Eduardo on the left, Zubar let Arsenal create pressure leading to a corner. The resultant set-piece found its way into the Wolves net via his leg, Eduardo failing to make contact with the ball.

Within ten minutes, Wolves two-goal hero from last week, Jody Craddock had turned the ball into his own net, inadvertantly deflecting Eduardo’s chip over Hennessey even further out of the ‘keeper’s reach. Ramsey had been the lynchpin of the attack, retaining a composure to free the Croat to extract maximum damage, a composure that belied his youth. Arsenal were in cruise control without applying too much effort. Having promised his team would not rollover and let Arsenal tickle their bellies, Mick McCarthy’s team resembled a guard dog willing to take burglars to the safe, give them the combination and then help load the swag into bags for a clean getaway.

Chasing the game left many gaps in the Wolves defence. Against a team so effective on the break, it was tantamount to suicide football. The punishment came with half-time beckoning. Fabregas picked the ball up inside his own half, finding Sagna. The full back linked with van Persie who returned the ball to Fabregas, gliding across the pitch effortlessly, finding a calm and collected finish to end the contest.

With a three goal lead at half-time, inevitably the second half was lower key. Arsenal controlled, Wolves chased but to little or no effect. Arshavin hit a fourth halfway through with a snapshot from the edge of the area, emphasising the goal difference gap between Arsenal and United. There could have been more than four but no dount Wenger will look to strengthen his forward line in January as they are obviously not capable of scoring enough goals.

Wenger observed after the game:

We have a style where everyone goes forward. You cannot have everything in football, but I believe we have a good balance between offense and defence, and as long as we score as many goals as we do, we can accept that

The failure to keep a clean sheet will no doubt irritate him but not cause too many sleepless nights, Vermaelen was lost perhaps too easily at the corner by Craddock who jumped relatively unhindered to score at the death.

The pivotal moment in the game no doubt came with the introduction of Alex Song. Whilst the midfield was not overrun with Diaby playing the defensive role, not his natural game. Song’s influence in that position cannot be understated. His presence is similar to that of Gilberto Silva, emphasised when he is absent. A sign of the tremendous strides taken by the Cameroonian in his career, winning over the doubters with every game.

Aaron Ramsey made a solid contribution to the side. He has much to learn but his composure in setting Eduardo free for the second was in marked contrast to the rush of blood he suffered against Tottenham. It is a good sign for the player that he learns that quickly from mistakes. His overall passing was good and he worked hard to cover the pitch in defensive duties, such as they were.

In particular, his inclusion is a signal to other youngsters in the squad. Called in to rotate the first choice midfield, his performance vindicated the manager’s belief that he has a good set of players and his confidence in them. This season is a stepping stone for him in his pursuit of a first team spot in coming campaigns and a template for Merida and Wilshere to follow.

A very good win and one that leads the club into the international break in good shape. ’til Tomorrow.

The Black Country beckons on a bright Autumnal day with Wolverhampton looking to quaff the Banks whilst Arsene cooes, “Cootchy-coo” on their bellies. At least that was the rather disturbing image that Mick McCarthy conjured yesterday. Nobody expects Wolves to roll over and play dead whilst the Arsenal midfield and attack decimate them but nonetheless the fixture offers a good opportunity for pressure to be applied with everyone’s favourites meeting tomorrow at Stamford Bridge.

November is a notoriously fickle month for Arsenal during Wenger’s reign, more often than not a patch of inconsistency struck that has a minor or major derailing effect upon the season. Arsene set about defining success on his own terms:

Success is measured by consistency and quality. I don’t deny that it is measured by trophies, it is a part of it, what I deny sometimes is the comparison of the trophies. For example, when people say, ‘is winning the Carling Cup more difficult than to go to the Semi-Finals of the Champions League?’ I say no. But to win the championship or Champions League, that is of course a trophy that you measure the success of a team by.

Nobody can doubt the quality of the squad assembled for this season but consistency, that is the key. It is not about playing well in every game but getting results when performances drop is crucial. It is something that Alex Ferguson has ingrained into his squad’s over the years and has achieved a suitably large haul of trophies in the process. The signs are that this year’s Arsenal can hit the same consistency of result. Winning today emphasises that the demons of seasons past are consigned to the wastepaper bin.

Injuries play a big part in this though, the pressure on those coming in to perform to the same level as those already well attuned with their season. Kieran Gibbs has doubters but is a capable deputy for Gael Clichy. Other than that it seems that the injury fears Arsene had are working in reverse with Samir Nasri looking as if he is back and ready, Tomas Rosicky returning to the bench and Theo Walcott ready to join in training once the international break is over. Of the short-term absentees, that leaves just Bendtner out with Denilson apparently set to return in December.

One man garnering a lot of headlines in Fran Merida, despite not establishing himself in the first team yet. Arsene indicated that contrary to the player’s Mr20%’s assertions that Merida has an ‘illness’ for Atletico, a contract is going to be signed. Whether that is soothing words to counter such claims is entirely open to conjecture on our part but rarely has he been robust in his words and proven wrong about contract renewals. The Spaniard will have to content himself with a spell on the bench to continue his development.

Key to winning is mental application. As Wenger observed, concentration and focus are core to beating teams that on paper ought to provide three points as soon as kick-off occurs. Arsenal are an anomaly in the top four, losing only on their travels to highly-placed clubs. Cesc touched on this:

It is noticeable that the ‘big four’ teams have lost a number of matches so far between them. In my opinion, that is better for the league because it means other teams are improving. Everyone is striving to be better and that is making it difficult for the top teams

It is more indicative of the complacency at United and Chelsea, players believing their own and media hype regarding how much of a procession this season will be for them. Arsenal has a point to prove. Written off by all and sundry beforehand, it is still a majority belief outside of the club that they will fall away in the Winter. Having the desire to want to prove naysayers wrong is a strong motivator in a public arena.

For this afternoon, I do not see Wenger making many changes from the team that trounced Alkmaar. Defensively, Sagna will no doubt return for Eboue at right back but the question of whether Eboue drops out of the side altogether is less clear. The question mark will possibly be about Nasri’s fitness. Eduardo has come through around 90 minutes in the last two games and seems to be ready for the starting line-up.

Nasri has put in 180 minutes over the past three, crowning his return with a superb finish in midweek. Of the three, I would prefer Nasri to take one of the wide positions, his duality in attack and defending a bonus. The other two have strengths in one or other areas but not both to the same degree as the Frenchman.

However, it would be no surprise if this weekend Eboue started since Wenger has a habit of preferring a little more protection for his defence in away fixtures. The line-up will probably be:

Almunia; Sagna, Gallas, Vermalaen, Gibbs; Eboue, Song, Fabregas; Arshavin, van Persie, Diaby

A bench that includes Nasri, Rosicky and Eduardo has plenty of attacking options for later in the match whilst Merida could add a midfield prompt or two if required.

A win is key to maintaining momentum as we head for an inconvenient international break. Enjoy the match wherever you are watching it. ’til Tomorrow.

Another bad week for Mystic Jarv last weekend, here are this weekends predictions

Saturday

Aston Villa V Bolton Wanderers

Since beating Chelsea 3 weeks ago Villa haven’t won a game in the league and only won in the League cup on penalties, Their form is something Villa will want to rectify quickly if they serious want to challenge for Europe this season.

After 2 4-0 thumpings at the hand of Chelsea in their last 2 games Gary Megson will be glad to see the back of them for now at least however a trip to Villa park is not any easy away game either.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 to Villa
Aston Villa V Bolton Wanderers match discussion

Blackburn Rovers V Portsmouth

Pompey’s results have picked up a little to match their playing form and this is a massive game for them, both clubs find themselves in the bottom three and Blackburn are struggling more than i thought they would this season. They should now be over the Swine flu that hit the club and need to bounce back.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 to Blackburn …..just, however i could see it going the other way too
Blackburn Rovers V Portsmouth match discussion

Manchester City V Burnley

Burnley simply are not very good away from home and i can’t see them getting anything here. City are currently in the top 4 which is where they want to be and will really want to be there over the international break. There really should only be one winner in this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 to City
Manchester City V Burnley match discussion

Tottenham Hotspur V Sunderland

Like Villa, Sunderland have not won since their big victory on the 17th October and will want to get back on track as soon as possible, Lee Cattermole is injured and he ha been their driving force in the middle of the park and without him i believe they will struggle without him.

Spurs have had mixed fortunes from their recent matches and won’t be please by the 3-0 beating at the hands of their neighbours, if Spurs truly have designs on a Champions League place they have to win this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 to Spurs
Tottenham Hotspur V Sunderland match discussion

Wolverhampton Wanderers V Arsenal – 17:30

Wolves have picked up a point in each of their last 3 games, asll 3 of which i predicted them to lose, should they get something from this game they will really surprise me.

Arsenal will be pleased with the win last week against Spurs and Wenger must be delighted with their form, they’re scoring goals for fun. There is discussions about take overs going on at the moment but i don’t think it will put the team off their stride and i expect them to move into 2nd by Saturday night.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-3 to Arsenal
Wolverhampton Wanderers v Arsenal match discussion

Sunday

Hull City V Stoke City

Well phil brown is still in charge but you have to ask how much longer, the statement from the new chairman was hardly resounding and should 3 points not be forthcoming against Stoke i believe he will be gone by the time they play West Ham,  Should Brown be sacked it gives the club a couple of weeks while the internationals are on to find a New boss. The question is, is there anyone better out there that will want to goto Hull?

Stoke Captain Abdoulaye Faye says they can qualify for Europe this season, big brave words given the competition this season, if they are to then they have to win this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 0-1 to Stoke
Hull City V Stoke City match discussion

West Ham United v Everton

It was a bitter-sweet midweek for West ham, beating Villa was a top result but losing Carlton Cole was a blow to them, before that game they were struggling for form. Everton were struggling even more and are having a terrible season by their recent standards and failed to pick up a win in the whole of October.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-1 Draw
West Ham United V Everton match discussion

Wigan Athletic V Fulham

12th V 11th in the league, I didn’t see the game against Roma but i undertstand Fulham were unlucky to be down to 9 men. Still at the end of the day the Premier league is their bread and butter and this game is more important in the long term, beating Liverpool was a fantastic result for them and they will want to follow it up against Wigan.

Wigan got thumped at Portsmouth last week and have had a few mixed results since beating Chelsea, they have conceeded lots of goals too and will need to tighten up for this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 Win for Wigan

Chelsea V Manchester United

This game as a United fan worries me, United’s defence has been quite porous of late and Chelsea have been scoring lots of goals and playing great football but it’s never quite that simple is it. I believe United will be really up for this game and could just nick a win but to do that they need to cut out the defensive and keeping errors that plagued the game against CSKA on Tuesday. The normally steady Van der sar will definitely want the first and third goal back and a keeper of his stature shouldn’t have been beaten so easily.

United need to keep Drogba and Anelka quiet if they do that they have a chance, Chelsea have to nullify United’s Wingers which could be key to the game

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-2 for United (might be being an optimistic United fan here)
Chelsea V Manchester United match discussion

Monday

Liverpool V Birmingham City

Under normal circumstances in other seasons this would be such an obvious prediction but Liverpool are struggling and with Gerrard and Torres both doubtful and both possibly needing surgery on injuries 2009/2010 could be shaping up to be Liverpool’s worst season for many a year.

A draw against City and a victory against Sunderland are 2 results that surprised me a little , I tink they will lose this game but if they can frustrate Liverpool ealry on they might, just might get something.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 win for Liverpool
Liverpool V Birmingham City match discussion

Other Stuff

Although i Know nothing about boxing Mystic Jarv predicts a win for Haye against Valuev, like i said i know nothing so don’t put your house on it

Written by Jarv

Another bad week for Mystic Jarv last weekend, here are this weekends predictions

Saturday

Aston Villa V Bolton Wanderers

Since beating Chelsea 3 weeks ago Villa haven’t won a game in the league and only won in the League cup on penalties, Their form is something Villa will want to rectify quickly if they serious want to challenge for Europe this season.

After 2 4-0 thumpings at the hand of Chelsea in their last 2 games Gary Megson will be glad to see the back of them for now at least however a trip to Villa park is not any easy away game either.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 to Villa
Aston Villa V Bolton Wanderers match discussion

Blackburn Rovers V Portsmouth

Pompey’s results have picked up a little to match their playing form and this is a massive game for them, both clubs find themselves in the bottom three and Blackburn are struggling more than i thought they would this season. They should now be over the Swine flu that hit the club and need to bounce back.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 to Blackburn …..just, however i could see it going the other way too
Blackburn Rovers V Portsmouth match discussion

Manchester City V Burnley

Burnley simply are not very good away from home and i can’t see them getting anything here. City are currently in the top 4 which is where they want to be and will really want to be there over the international break. There really should only be one winner in this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 to City
Manchester City V Burnley match discussion

Tottenham Hotspur V Sunderland

Like Villa, Sunderland have not won since their big victory on the 17th October and will want to get back on track as soon as possible, Lee Cattermole is injured and he ha been their driving force in the middle of the park and without him i believe they will struggle without him.

Spurs have had mixed fortunes from their recent matches and won’t be please by the 3-0 beating at the hands of their neighbours, if Spurs truly have designs on a Champions League place they have to win this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 to Spurs
Tottenham Hotspur V Sunderland match discussion

Wolverhampton Wanderers V Arsenal – 17:30

Wolves have picked up a point in each of their last 3 games, asll 3 of which i predicted them to lose, should they get something from this game they will really surprise me.

Arsenal will be pleased with the win last week against Spurs and Wenger must be delighted with their form, they’re scoring goals for fun. There is discussions about take overs going on at the moment but i don’t think it will put the team off their stride and i expect them to move into 2nd by Saturday night.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-3 to Arsenal
Wolverhampton Wanderers v Arsenal match discussion

Sunday

Hull City V Stoke City

Well phil brown is still in charge but you have to ask how much longer, the statement from the new chairman was hardly resounding and should 3 points not be forthcoming against Stoke i believe he will be gone by the time they play West Ham, Should Brown be sacked it gives the club a couple of weeks while the internationals are on to find a New boss. The question is, is there anyone better out there that will want to goto Hull?

Stoke Captain Abdoulaye Faye says they can qualify for Europe this season, big brave words given the competition this season, if they are to then they have to win this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 0-1 to Stoke
Hull City V Stoke City match discussion

West Ham United v Everton

It was a bitter-sweet midweek for West ham, beating Villa was a top result but losing Carlton Cole was a blow to them, before that game they were struggling for form. Everton were struggling even more and are having a terrible season by their recent standards and failed to pick up a win in the whole of October.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-1 Draw
West Ham United V Everton match discussion

Wigan Athletic V Fulham

12th V 11th in the league, I didn’t see the game against Roma but i undertstand Fulham were unlucky to be down to 9 men. Still at the end of the day the Premier league is their bread and butter and this game is more important in the long term, beating Liverpool was a fantastic result for them and they will want to follow it up against Wigan.

Wigan got thumped at Portsmouth last week and have had a few mixed results since beating Chelsea, they have conceeded lots of goals too and will need to tighten up for this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 Win for Wigan

Chelsea V Manchester United

This game as a United fan worries me, United’s defence has been quite porous of late and Chelsea have been scoring lots of goals and playing great football but it’s never quite that simple is it. I believe United will be really up for this game and could just nick a win but to do that they need to cut out the defensive and keeping errors that plagued the game against CSKA on Tuesday. The normally steady Van der sar will definitely want the first and third goal back and a keeper of his stature shouldn’t have been beaten so easily.

United need to keep Drogba and Anelka quiet if they do that they have a chance, Chelsea have to nullify United’s Wingers which could be key to the game

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-2 for United (might be being an optimistic United fan here)
Chelsea V Manchester United match discussion

Monday

Liverpool V Birmingham City

Under normal circumstances in other seasons this would be such an obvious prediction but Liverpool are struggling and with Gerrard and Torres both doubtful and both possibly needing surgery on injuries 2009/2010 could be shaping up to be Liverpool’s worst season for many a year.

A draw against City and a victory against Sunderland are 2 results that surprised me a little , I tink they will lose this game but if they can frustrate Liverpool ealry on they might, just might get something.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 win for Liverpool
Liverpool V Birmingham City match discussion

Other Stuff

Although i Know nothing about boxing Mystic Jarv predicts a win for Haye against Valuev, like i said i know nothing so don’t put your house on it

Written by Jarv

Meg: Back from Burnley's 'Ladies Day' unscathed

Out of the ten fixtures that banged on my door last week, demanding to be predicted, seven were sent home happy. Ok, I didn’t get the final score right for any of them, but that’s not important. Even with a badger equipped with a wide range of hip-hop dance moves backing them up, I don’t think many people saw Fulham putting three past Liverpool. So, I’ve excused myself.

Having said that, if I get a couple of final scores right this week, but not many correct outcomes, there’s a good chance i’ll introduce next week’s predictions with a paragraph professing the skill involved in predicting correct final scores. You see, much like Robbie Keane and his assessment of the current Spurs squad, I sometimes find myself sugar-coating my opinions.

I’ve set the bar with 7 correct outcomes. Can you beat me?!? Actually, I’m sure you can. I’m just doing that ‘challenge their ego’ thing to try to get you involved in a prediction contest.

Are you ready?!? I’m doing it again. Sorry, I’ll stop. There’s actually no need to be particularly ready. It’s not as if you’re about to go for a sky-dive (unless you are. In which case, I’d advise you start concentrating on that instead, because you’re about to throw yourself out of a bloody plane. You mentalist!).

Ok, I’m getting nowhere with this introduction. Predictions hooooooo! (Thundercats style)

Aston Villa vs Bolton

In the last few weeks Aston Villa have dressed in black, hid in the shadows, and snuck their way silently up the table. This is made all the more weird by the fact that, at the time of writing this, their form for the last 6 games reads LDWDDL – translating as 6 points from a possible 18, which isn’t hugely impressive. However, they’ve still managed to join the chasing pack just below the top four which, considering the aforementioned form, is mighty impressive.

This phenomena can be explained either by Martin O’Neill having trained the club in the art of the Ninja, or by the fact that the top four have performed a little more inconsistently this season.

Either way, Bolton should watch out for the crane kick to the gonads this weekend, which I feel is undoubtedly coming their way.

Verdict: 2-1

Blackburn vs Portsmouth

I hold my hands up. Aruna Dindane last weekend took my snide, mocking words and shoved them firmly back down my embarassed throat. He was majestic, and took his hat-trick well.

However, did anyone else find this sudden change in the Ivorian’s form all a little too dramatic? I certainly did. This is why I sent my chief reporter in the field to Fratton Park this week to find out what was going on. His findings will be reported in this week’s Microsoft Paint Story Of the Week, so watch this space. It is truly shocking. Can you handle the truth?! (Sorry I really must stop treating you as if you’re a cinema audience watching trailers to the summer blockbusters).

Expect a shaven headed Morten Gamst Pedersen to take to the field for Blackburn Rovers, and a scintillating 1-1 draw to follow.

Verdict: 1-1

Man City vs Burnley

Those of you who watched Match Of The Day 2 last weekend would have witnessed a quite frightening report from Kevin Day (a man created by combining bits of Madness front-man Suggs, with a zombie from Shaun Of The Dead) on Burnley’s ‘ladies day’.

If you didn’t get a chance to see it, try thinking of an episode of ‘Booze Britain’, but dedicated entirely to women, and set in a bleak northern town. I can only assume that the male Burnley fans had decided to spend Saturday afternoon shopping for their halloween costumes (although they could have got a fair few pointers from some of the scary old bags at the stadium, that’s for sure).

This week against Manchester City, expect the Burnley fans travelling to Eastlands to revert back to form, with plenty of drunk men cosigning their Halloween masks to the back of the cupboard in order to roar their team to their fifth away defeat of the season.

Expect Carlos Tevez to still be wearing his halloween mask.

Verdict: 3-0

Tottenham vs Sunderland

Low on confidence, and missing key players, ‘Arry’s fragile Spurs troops would have wanted an easier fixture than Sunderland following a derby-day drubbing by an Arsenal team with a point to prove. Even though pocket goal-machine and glamour model afficionado Jermain Defoe is back from his suspension to give his club a boost, The Mackems team is loaded with ex-Tottenham players, all looking to prove Spurs wrong for flogging them.

Darren Bent will want to prove that he really is better than Redknapp’s wife, Andy Reid will desperately want to prove to the Spurs fans that he’s not the ‘pie muncher’ they’ve always said he is (it’s pretty obvious that he knows where the nearest Greggs is though), and Steed Malbranque will want to reinforce the question that most Spurs fans have been asking since he left… “Levy, why the hell did you sell him?!”.

Teemu Tainio will just want to angrily kick people. That’s what Teemu Tainio does. However, in the absence of Kasier Soze and Lee Cattermole, he’ll be the ex-Spurs player with arguably the most important job of all.

Verdict: 2-2

Wolves vs Arsenal

Arsenal can be compared very easily to Hogwarts, the wizard’s school attended by Harry Potter and his chums. Like Hogwarts, Arsenal have a Dumbledore professor figure at the helm attempting to teach all the young minds that walk into the youth system the way of mastering the wizadry of football.

He has many good students at the club, who have all clearly practiced their skills on a regular basis. However, they have one shining Harry Potter style light at the centre of it all, in the shape of Cesc Fabregas. Like the character, Fabregas can perform acts of brilliance that everyone else at the club can only admire with bewildered amazement. Let us not also forget that he often has to carry the weaker students through difficult times (at this point I should probably compare Niclas Bentner to Ron Weasley, and Emanuel Eboue to the little girl).

This weekend Fabregas and his wizard pals visit the den of a pack of bloodthirsty Wolves. Now, we all know that wolves like to prey on the weaknesses of small children, and I expect this pack to do exactly that on Saturday – snarling and snapping at the heels of the frightened youngsters. However with a wizard at the height of his powers at their core, mere Wolves will be no match for Wenger’s young magicians.

Verdict: 0-3

Chelsea vs Man Utd

It has been noted in certain places that Sky tend to make a bit of a song and a dance about a live game pitting two of the ‘Big Four’ teams up against each other. Flashy lights swooshing across the screen, dramatic music, and immense over-exaggeration over the importance of the seventh day of the week (i.e. ‘Mega-Super Amazing Sunday’ or something else just as ludicrous). Prior to the game, the tiny studio is packed with the brilliant minds of Jamie Redknapp, Richard Keys, and Andy Gray, and the viewer is ‘entertained’ (for what seems like an eternity) by three grown men drawing arrows on a virtual pitch, and talking incoherently about the brilliance of the two teams (who both, funnily enough, have made their employer one of the richest companies in the world).

The trouble is, with all the hype, these games are often a complete snore-fest. The recent Chelsea vs Liverpool game was so boring that I ended up being distracted by a repeat of Deal Or No Deal on our other telly (a fat man from Wolverhampton was sent home with 50p after he was ‘convinced’ big money was in a particular box, and thought that 5k ‘wasn’t a fair offer’. Riveting stuff).

This time though, I actually think that we have a really good game on our hands. Two teams playing good attacking football, and they are definitely the two teams who will be contesting the title this year, so there’s the added spice right there.

If Didier Drogba stays on his feet long enough to perform as he has been recently, I’m backing Chelsea for this one.

Verdict: 3-1

Hull vs Stoke

I like Hull’s manager Phil Brown. He’s an eccentric, and we don’t get many of them in Premier League nowadays.

So what if it was their start to the 08/09 season that kept them up last year? Does that really matter? No. What matters is that this earpiece loving, karaoke singing, half time team-talk on the pitch conducting Sam Allardyce prodige got Hull City promoted to the Premier League and then kept them there. That should be enough for the Hull board, fans, and players to show him a little respect in the tough time they’re having at the moment. The dreaded vote of confidence is always an ominous sign though.

This is one of those games that I wouldn’t normally give a damn about. But for Phil Brown’s sake I hope Hull can overcome the bus that Stoke park in front of their goal.

Verdict: 2-1

West Ham vs Everton

West Ham’s new striker Alessandro Diamanti has a bit of the Paulo Di Canio about him. Great touch, good finisher, and also a bit of a nutter. After a bit of gentle ribbing from his new team-mates for being the only member of the Hammers squad to use a hairdryer, the Italian reacted not by returning the banter, but by getting a grade 1 all over. This begs the question though, if Diamanti really is that suggestable, what else can his team-mates make him do?! Ideas below.

After a win in midweek, West Ham are unbeaten in three. Everton, by contrast have just suffered another injury set-back to midfield string-puller Mikel Arteta, which won’t improve the spirits of a team who last won a Premier League game back on September 26th.

It’ll be a hardfought encou… Stop! Hammertime.

Verdict: 2-1

Wigan vs Fulham

As I noted in my introduction above, I was pretty pleased with myself for predicting Fulham’s win over Liverpool last week. However, that was all soured by Wigan, the Premier League’s most unpredictable team, living up to their tagline.

That being the case, I am tempted to predict a Fulham win (because secretly I think that Wigan will win). However, now i’ve revealed my strategy on the world wide web, I’m sure that Wigan’s unpredictability radar will spot it and then force the team to carry out exactly the opposite.

Therefore, I am going to just go with my gut instinct. Wigan have had some big results at home this season, and Fulham are playing away in the Uefa League (or whatever the Uefa Cup is now called) on Thursday, so may be a bit sleepy when it comes to dealing with my man Rodallega (by that I mean he has been in my fantasy team this season. I transferred him out though, so technically it should be ‘my ex-man Rodallega’. However, that sounds a bit gay).

Marlon King is sidelined.

Verdict: 3-1

Liverpool vs Birmingham

Liverpool fans. I’m sorry, but this one’s the nil nil. And you can’t quote form to deny my assertions either. Playing without Gerrard, and pairing a half-fit Torres with a hapless Voronin in attack, these are some dark times.

Birmingham will be organised and hard to break down, just like they were against City. Don’t get me wrong, McLeish’s men are still an awful team to watch, but now is the perfect time for anyone to play the Scousers. They look lost.

Verdict: 0-0

Ok then, forgetting last weekend ever happened which was a complete train wreck in terms of my predictions.

So onto This weekend, there’s only one game sunday so i’ve done all the games on here.

Saturday

Arsenal V Tottenham Hotspur

Harry reckons Spurs are capable of finishing above Arsenal,m brave words before a game at the Emirates where Arsenal have been fantastic, No Defoe, possibly no Lennon as well, it would be a stunning result for Spurs to win this one, in fact a\ draw would be a great achievement.

Arsenal have been destroying teams at home and until Chelsea beat Swine flu ridden Blackburn last week had the best goal difference by far and i expect them to win this one.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 3-1 win for Arsenal

Bolton Wanderers V Chelsea

Only one winner in this game, Chelsea will win handsomely, 5 players from Chelsea have been shortlisted for Fifa world player of the year, most of which i can understand but, John Terry has had a very average year at best and i really fail to see how he keeps getting nominated for things he doesn’t deserve like the best Defender in the champions league last season, never in a million years did he deserve that.

Bolton’s only chance is to stun Chelsea from a set piece which they have been a little vulnerable in the past.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 3-0 win for Chelsea

Burnley V Hull City

Burnley’s 100% home record went last week and whether they can recover will be key to their season.

Hull have a few problems at the moment, i would say behind the scenes but its pretty much in public, The Chairman has gone and there were lots of rumours Brown had gone too, He hasn’t but unless their form picks up you can’t help wonder how long he has left.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for Burnley, and Phil Brown to be the first manager to be sacked.

Everton V Aston Villa

Moyes has complained about Everton having away games after game sin Europe which is the same problem both Man United and Chelsea and i think Liverpool have complained about in recent seasons, and curiously the following year they all got a bit better fixture list after European games from the “Random” fixture computer. However as it stands Everton wont be in Europe next year so wont make a difference and its fast turning into a poor season for Everton and to top it off they have terrible Injury problems.

Villa play their game in hand on Wednesday night and will want to win this game to ensure they can go into the top 4 if they win it. On Wednesday they beat Sunderland on penalties to reach the quarter finals of the Carling cup and will be buoyed by that.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 win for Aston Villa

Fulham V Liverpool

Liverpool got a great result last weekend against Manchester United without Steven Gerrard, I’m not going to mention the Ref again as i’ve posted elsewhere my feelings on his “performance”. They lost again against Arsenal in a competition which mioght very well have been their best chance at silverware this season.

Its a fine balencing act for Fulham this season, their over riding priority is the League but a decent run in the Europa league brings money and prestige which may in turn allow them to bring in better players and push up the table. Sadly i think they will lose this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 win for Liverpool

Portsmouth V Wigan Athletic

The Portsmouth Circus rumbles on, this weeks installment is a Transfer ban for non-payment of debts which basically, unless they get an infusion of cash, ends their chances of survival this season, no new players means they wont pick up enough points in my opinion.

Wigan broke Burnley’s 100% home record last week which was a great result (another one i got wrong) they sit in the top half of the table and have had a full week to prepare for this game.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for Wigan.

Stoke City V Wolverhampton Wanderers

Stoke’s home record should be enough to help them win this game despite losing to Pompey in the week the premier league is by far their main focus.

Wolves picked up 2 good draws in their last 2 premier league games, Away at Everton and home to Villa but they need to start turning a few into wins if they want to survive.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-1 win for Stoke City

Sunderland V West Ham United

Since beating liverpool Sunderland have lost 2 games, one only by Penalties but its still 2 losses in a row and they will want to rectify that this week, They’re only 3 points away from third, they wont finish in the top 4 but its commendable to be doing as well as they are but they need to get a win at home V West Ham. West ham grabbed a draw against Arsenal last week and might be gald of that point at the end of the season, they will need to start picking up wins very soon or it will be a big mountain to climb.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 2-0 win for Sunderland

Manchester United V Blackburn Rovers

Last weekend United were poor against Liverpool and deserved to lose and will want to get back to winning ways in the league this weekend and should have Darren Fletcher back to their line up but maybe missing both Vidic and Ferdinand with calf injuries, with Neville suspended and Giggs doubtful as well as park and hagreaves still not fit.

Blackburn are having a tough time Swine flu has hit their club and they have Chelsea and manchester United to contend with.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 3-0 win for Manchester United

Sunday

Birmingham City V Manchester City

Birmingham went against my prediction last week, i really didn’t think they would beat Sunderland and it was a good result, this time its big spending Manchester City who are currently 6th with a game in Hand.

City cruised past Scunthorpe, as they should have done, according to sky City spent more than 400 times what Scunthorpe did last summer. City, if they really have ambitions of top 4 need to really win games like this and i think they will.

Mystic Jarv predicts a 1-0 win for City

For all your Premier League Match Discussion visit Away Goals Rule Football Forum

More next week

Written by Jarv

PS Happy Halloween

Meg Predicts: "Sunderland three, Liverpool twoooooo"

For anyone who has used the shiny RSS feed thingy on the right, and therefore recieves new Eddies Football Blog articles direct to their inbox, I have to apologise. Last week you will have been waiting, betting slip in hand, for my all important Premier League Predictions. They never arrived. This means that you were forced to wander over to the BBC’s website and take advice from a man with a Scouse accent, a bad sense of humour, and a moustache. I hope that you have recovered fully from the trauma.

This week though, Premier League predictions are back with a bang.

Arsenal vs Tottenham

This derby is a big game, and my prediction is that lots of shouty, red-face men will congregate in North London in order to hurl abuse at each other. It is customary at this point to break out a few interesting stats about the last time Spurs won on Arsenal soil, or the date of the last time Arsenal won by six goals. I couldn’t be bothered with any of that though. You’ll undoubtedly get it off John Motson on Saturday monring during Football Focus.

I can see it now. “Did you know Dan, that the last time Spurs won away at Arsenal was in 1993. There was a steward at the ground that day by the name of David Grouse. I can tell you that his son, also named David Grouse, is a coach for Tottenham’s under 18 team, and he’ll be at the ground today”. John Motson is ’special’.

David Grouse or no David Grouse, with Lennon, Defoe and Modric all injured, Spurs haven’t got a chance.

Verdict: 3-1

Bolton vs Chelsea

The Blues travel to the Reebok on Saturday, and I heard a pundit on TV today describing this fixture as ‘essentially the reverse of the Carling Cup game that these two teams contested in midweek’. Perhaps. However, if this truly is the reverse of the midweek fixture the following things will happen…

Bolton will play slick, free-flowing, passing football, with frontman Kevin Davies bamboozling his opponents with his grace and stepovers. They will win the game 4-0, and none of those goals will come as a result of a big hoof down the pitch. By contrast, Chelsea will stick a wall of players behind the ball, and persist with long aerial balls to their lone front-man Didier Drogba. Drogba will also not dive once in the entire 90 minutes.

Let’s not kid ourselves, it’s not going to be the reverse of that fixture at all.

Verdict: 0-2

Burnley vs Hull

Based on this season’s results Burnley are marginally a better team than Hull. Burnley are at home. Burnley will win.

I tried to write something better than the above, I really did. But, come on, it’s Burnley vs Hull. If you said to a mate ‘I’m off to see Burnley vs Hull this Saturday’, I’m willing to bet that the majority of people would respond simply with ‘Why?!’.

That says it all.

Verdict: 3-2

Everton vs Aston Villa

David Moyes is officially the Anti-Incredible Hulk. As I’m sure you know, when you get The Hulk angry he reacts by ripping his clothes, turning green, and generally creating a lot of noise and mess. By contrast David Moyes this week, in protest to Everton having to play lots of football matches in a time-frame he was unhappy with, kept his clothes on, stayed the same colour, and simply refused to talk.

The silent treatment it is then. Well, if the BBC and the Premier League remember their days in the playground, then surely all they have to do to get him talking again is to pin him down and give him a turbo-noogie. That’d do it.

With Aston Villa still half asleep after their snore-fest with Sunderland in mid-week, and Everton ‘tired’, I think I’ve found this weekend’s 0-0. Hurrah, I knew it was hiding somewhere!

Verdict: 0-0

Fulham vs Liverpool

Bandwagon afficionados will be lumping all of their hard-earned cash on Liverpool this weekend. You see, having beaten Manchester United last weekend there are some people out there (mainly Liverpool fans) who will use the result to paper over some fairly hideous cracks in the Merseyside club’s squad. One result doesn’t change the fact that they still have Lucas in midfield. Neither does it hide the fact that they still have to replace a world-class striker with David Ngog. Oh, and Yossi Benayoun is still a incredibly ugly.

Fulham by contrast, have quietly had a good month. They haven’t lost a game in October in all competitions, and in their last two games played exceptionally well against the big-money stars of Roma and Manchester City. You wouldn’t have known any of that because they’re Fulham. No one really supports Fulham. Or follows them. They’re just that nice club on the river, with the tasty pies, the neutral stand, and a dancing badger as a mascot.

I’m sure Lawro will have expertly found a way of backing Liverpool for this one, but I’m behind the break-dancing badger.

Verdict: 2-1

Manchester United vs Blackburn

If you believe Wigan manager Roberto Martinez’s comments this week, the fourth official would have a hard time stopping Fergie and Big Sam from having one big love-in on the side of the pitch. Fortunately for the man in black’s touchline minion though, Allardyce is still suffering from the remnants of swine flu, after his masterplan of last week back-fired horrendously. He will therefore be in the stand.

This should allow Fergie to concentrate on the game, and use his hands solely for pointing, as he barks his team to a home win.

Verdict: 3-0

Portsmouth vs Wigan

Marlon King walks into a bar…

Ok, ok, jokes aside, this should be quite a fun a game of football. Wigan are looking a really good side lately, with the attacking threat of N’Zogbia and Rodallega really hurting their opponents. Portsmouth are fun to watch for a couple of reasons:

1. They have an evil super-villain sitting in the stands,
2. They have Aruna Dindane up front. After the two sitters he missed against Spurs a couple of weeks ago, I want to see how much closer he can get to the goal without scoring.

Both teams will attack each other. The bloke with the bell will smell, and annoy a vast section of the crowd. Wigan will win.

Verdict: 1-4

Stoke vs Wolves

Mick McCarthy has got a really funny looking head. Has anyone else noticed that? Sure, his voice is taken straight from the hovis adverts, which is funny enough, but I’m sure his head is a portal for another being (like that dead alien in the morgue in Men In Black). Suggestions and lookalikes on a postcard, or sent to http://eddiesfootballblog@hotmail.co.uk.

This game will be rubbish.

Verdict: 1-1

Sunderland vs West Ham

When you’ve just got out of hospital having survived multiple stab wounds to the legs, the last thing you need is to be charged for assault yourself. That’s exactly what happened to Hammers defender Callum Davenport this week, and it’s pretty typical of West Ham’s luck this season. Sitting precariously in the relegation zone, pocket-sized Italian manager Gianfranco Zola will have to use all the hand gestures he can think of to rally his troops for this game because Sunderland, much like Tom Huddlestone at a Pizza Hut buffet, are a force to be reckoned with this season.

Sunderland fan-favourite, captain, and general midfield hatchet-man Lorik Cana this week put down his scythe, and offered a few eerie words of advice to his team-mates. “When you give 100% you always have the respect of the fans”, he snarled, in between moutfuls of raw meat. My guess is that Darren Bent and co. will have more than just the fans to worry about if they lose.

Some say Kaizer Soze was Albanian…

Verdict: 3-1

Birmingham vs Manchester City

New Birmingham owner Carson Yeung has been warned by departing chief David Gold that cutting ticket prices will get the Midlands side relegated. Whilst financially there may be a good degree of truth to that, there is an even stronger argument to suggest that it is in fact a rubbish football team that gets you relegated. And unfortunately Birmingham aren’t very good. The fact that Yeung’s footballing advice will be coming from Steve McManaman is, as those who witnessed his mind-boggling ‘punditry’ on Setanta Sports last season will I’m sure agree, just the icing on a very wobbly looking cake.

Manchester City have suffered a few draws of late, but have Brazilian party-boy Robinho close to fitness which should improve spirits in the camp. Well, until Craig Bellamy hits him with a golf club that is.

Verdict: 0-2

31st October