He taught me, my wife and our children to appreciate more fully every single moment we have together.

He pushed many of us to appreciate more fully the blessings that all of our children represent.

He  redefined the words smile, spirit and compassion.

He showed my wife and me that our relationship and our faith were stronger than any obstacle that life could throw at us.

He gave many of us the motivation to look for inspiration in the face of tragedy, and to speak of joy in the face of despair.

He taught us the limitations of modern medicine, and the lesson of perseverance; he reminded us that it is better to love and lose, than never to have loved at all.

We have entered the holiday season. Hanukkah and Christmas are upon us.  These are times not only to reflect on our faith, but also to share joy and give gifts in celebration.  My wife and I did not wish for Corey’s death to be a dark spot on the Holiday season when he died.  So we asked our friends to give gifts to the Globe Santa in Corey’s memory.  That program provides presents for families that cannot afford them. Regardless of your religious persuasion, the idea of a child waking up to no gifts on Christmas, or the pain of a parent having to explain why, must hurt beyond description.  In the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, maybe one thing we can do to  cope is to give some money or toys or time to needy children. Like the parents of the victims in Newtown, my family had to wake up Christmas morning without Corey. But knowing that dozens of children might wake up to presents because of him added something very special to our day.

I urge everyone to gather together with those you love and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Even though real life doesn’t always have perfect movie endings, life really is wonderful; and when I think about all of the great people in my life, I feel a little bit like George Bailey. I hope you do too.

“What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.” – George Bailey

Everyone who has seen it knows that this film is pretty bleak in parts – I’ve lost count the number of times someone, and I’m including myself in this, has pointed out matter-of-factly that It’s A Wonderful Life ‘is ACTUALLY a really dark film’ as if it’s some sort of revelation – but the fact is that this story of lost opportunities, financial worry and attempted suicide is too easily written off thanks to people who think it’s cool, subversive and anti-establishment to view it in these terms alone.

And, yes, I know I’m starting off MY spiel with this same interpretation. But the point is that it’s just the nasty sellotape-encrusted wrapping that hides the triumphant message of love, friendship and togetherness that closes up my throat and brings tears of utter joy to my eyes every December since first seeing it. So much so, in fact, that one of my yearly festive rituals includes going to the Glasgow Film Theatre and watching it with a whole audience of like-minded souls.

“I swear, Clarence! The fish was *this* big!”

Sure, the child-actors may make you cringe a wee bit, but you can’t argue that James Stewart gives a frankly magnificent performance – one which earned him an Oscar nomination alongside Laurence Olivier’s portrayal of Henry V 1947 – which stretches from the knockabout comedy of Harry’s graduation party and the walk home with his future wife, to the private anguish of a man feeling he’s worth more dead than alive. This range is, I think, is what ultimately sells the story to us; you can only appreciate the glorious finale of the film after you’ve plumbed its very depths.

The point of this story is, yes, life is going to have its disappointments, but it’s the people who you share this life with and the impact you make on them that makes it all worth living. Even though I have found myself walking through the Pottersville that is Glasgow City Centre of a Saturday night, I remember that there are some truly awesome people in my life, which wouldn’t be the same without them. And isn’t that the sort of thing Christmas should be all about?

Now, excuse me while I stuff my face with chocolate and rip open the toys I’ll only play with once…

Tom

Happy Holidays, Niles West! Winter is coming (although it was 70 degrees in Chicago…. in December. Say what?) and Winter Break is approaching. Here is my list of the top ten most solid Christmas movies to enjoy this season .

(Not in any particular order)

1. “The Christmas Story” – I learned not to lick a frozen pool if I would like to keep my tongue, “Fragile” should be pronounced like “Fra-gee-lay” and leg-lamps make great gifts. The heart-warming story of a boy and his desire for a Red Rider BB gun and how he had Chinese food for Christmas dinner.

2. “The Ultimate Christmas Present” – This is a blast from the DCOM past, or Disney Channel Original Movie for those youngsters. This movie is 12 years old but still rings out as a truly enjoyable movie for any generation. It combines a modern feel (with a crazy technological weather machine) with the spirit of family, friends and Christmas.

3.  ”It’s a Wonderful Life”- It’s a story-line that is not entirely foreign. Watching how your friends and family’s lives would be if you didn’t exist. This 1946 movie will never get old because being grateful will never go out of style.

4. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas ” — Whether you are a fan of the original Dr. Seuss cartoon or the 2000 Jim Carrey edition, this classic tale straight from is a holiday classic that everyone you know can enjoy.

5. “The Santa Clause” – Quality. That’s all I can say. The magic of Christmas is constantly revived when you watch this movie. It has a modern take but you still look at the cinematography, the costumes and the effects and realize that good movies can be made these days.

6. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” – The original kind of Christmas tale, with the stick figures and simple techniques describes the story of how Kris Kringle became Santa Claus.

7. “Elf” – “Buddy the Elf. What’s your favorite color?” This is all.

8. “The Polar Express” – The embodiment of Christmas. It’s magic and beauty simplified for a child’s mind.

9. “Home Alone” – It has spawned hundreds of jokes and some quality GIFs on Tumblr. The story of the smartest kid on the planet battling the dumbest adult burglars and the Christmas spirit with spunk.

10.  ”The Year Without a Santa Claus” – It’s the rise of the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser in this whimsical tale of two brothers battling to control Christmas. It also contains the same simple production as “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and they should both be on your high alert this Christmas season.

This song for me brings up all sorts of memories. But most of all, it reminds me of one of the finest lessons I have learned throughout the years. Well, maybe there are two or three. But today I am going out on a limb and talking about something that I haven’t really directly talked about before on this blog, but I think it is incredibly important and shouldn’t be missed. Everyone has lost someone they love, whether it was clean or a dirty break, and this quickly becomes one of the most emotionally consuming events out there. But what I want to talk about today is not about what specifically happens that causes people to break, but you…after it ends.

It is really easy to be bitter and upset. It’s easy to focus on the negatives, discard all the positives, and start trashing the other person because you are hurt and you are building some incredible defense mechanisms. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. And, I’ve felt like crap after. Even if you just listen to yourself talking poorly about someone who 5 minutes, you couldn’t even imagine how you got to that point when just a little while ago you were completely into them. I understand, some people do some terrible things, and I have been on the opposite end of them…and yes there is a line where you need to start respecting yourself and not put up with certain things. But, and this is major, you need to find a way to move on…and how the hell do you do this?

Who are you? Really? Who are you?

If you know who you are and what you stand for…this comes a lot easier. When I was going through the worst of the worst…I had no idea what I stood for. What was even worse was that I found out that what I thought I stood for was total baloney. Yikes. Talk about your ultimate backfire. So the decision was to start implementing into my life characteristics of the person I wanted to become. I listed out my heroes, took the best of the best of characteristics from them, and went to work on those every single day. Lincoln taught me drive and purity of purpose, Plitt taught me to build my mind and my body, Roosevelt taught me to be the man in the arena and not focus on the critics, Churchill taught me to never never never give in, Robinson taught me to work harder even when people spit on you and to endure…the list goes on. But at the beginning, and I want to stress this, I didn’t know who I was. I was lost. I was broken. And I had absolutely no idea where I was going. But I started. I took that step. Here I am now.

You are going to get your heart-broken, stepped on, smashed up, lit on fire….I will stop there haha. But, there is something that counteracts all of the pain and confusion in you. Love. You may hate, or feel like you hate…but give yourself the gift of knowing that you care about the other person no matter what happened. Because the truth is, you do. You will have an internal conflict about whether you care or don’t give a damn about them, but if you decide that you care, you will act much better. You won’t trash talk, you won’t disrespect them, you won’t act maliciously…you will just be there to deal with your pain…and not deliver any more pain onto the other person. Don’t be that person who gets broken up with and then spreads smack about the other…it just makes you worse, and in the end, it says more about you then it does about them. My rule is “If I loved them enough to be with them, I loved them enough to let them be without me.” Which basically means, they don’t have to worry about me talking behind their backs.

I’ve said it many times before. The only thing that matters…is the sound beating inside your chest. It’ll tell you what’s right. Next time something happens, decide to let the heart speak and not let hate or fear lash out. They just destroy things. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to let people know you are hurt…but don’t take your pain and make it someone elses. No one deserves that. Instead, decide to take it day by day, act in harmony with what you believe in, and at the end, you will be smiling. If you go the other route, you will still be harping on things that happened years ago. The choice is yours

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject

As director of the Arts Club Theatre Company’s It’s a Wonderful Life, you have taken on a classic and won. You have, quite simply, shown us the magic of a movie we all know and love and, as The Beatles said, . . . let it be.

As a director you are fearless. This I know from watching you for many years at Bard on the Beach and other venues. Your creativity often challenges both your actors and your audience and through it, you achieve absolute moments of brilliance.

How you do it, I don’t know.

But in this outing you are courageous and bold in other ways. By leaving things in place, right where we expect them, you’re letting us, the audience, enjoy the play for all the right holiday reasons.

We know the lines. We know the characters. And we know when we’re supposed to laugh. Thank you for giving us this simple gift through the magic of playwright Philip Grecian. And thank you for the memories of mogul Frank Capra whose magical film moments you have woven into the play so expertly throughout with the use of background stage vignettes.

Thank you for choosing the right players too – the good stuff we are lucky enough to have here in Vancouver.

For treasures like Jennifer Lines (Mary Bailey) and Lindsey Angell (Violet Bick) whose classic styles evoke perfect Capra-esque qualities at every turn. They are true ladies of the court and I never tire of either of them in almost any role.

Thank you also for comic relief actors Jennifer Clement (Tilly) and David Marr (Uncle Billy) who, by the very nature of their roles, provide memorable moments of delightful frustration.

I also can’t say enough about your leading man Bob Frazer. Yet another “Bard” alumnus, he tackles the role of George Bailey with enthusiastic vigour. An intimidating role from the outset, I can only imagine how it must feel to take on the memory of the legendary Jimmy Stewart every night in front of a live audience – all while film excerpts periodically play in the background. Yet somehow, very gently, Frazer manages to own the role for himself – on his terms and timing – both which work very effectively together with delightful results. In fact, I found the scenes with Eileen Barrett (Mother Bailey) to be especially tender – a credit to both players which, for me, is not present in the film.

As for your younger corps members – Hannah Brandon, Rose Fulkner, Sophia Millar, Aidan and Jordan Wessels – well, they’re simply scandalous scene stealers. Too magnificent for words, they win the hearts of the audience from the moment they appear on stage. Teach them well dear Dean as I know they too will have greatness thrust upon them.

In their child roles, they also provide just the right concord of sweet sounds to take on an excellent Alec Willows (Henry Potter), whose only fault is that he is almost too likeable for me to truly think on him as the villain. I’m also glad to see that Potter finally gets his comeuppance from Clarence – a small detail that is unique to the play itself.

And speaking of dear, sweet, wing-less Clarence – you have finally been outdone. With the power of the heavens behind him, not to mention 200 Arts Club performances of “Wonderful Life” under his belt, Bernard Cuffling is, again, the toast of Bedford Falls. With an aged innocence, Cuffling’s Clarence is truly adorable. While the film may be more about Bailey, this play gives equal importance to the Clarence character – and from where I sat in the audience, people were cheering for both to reach the stars.

And so Mr. Gibson, thank you again. For bringing all of us in Vancouver a play to remember and a timeless classic that still holds fast to many of our modern themes today. You’ve done it all with style and elegance and an air of effortless refrain – and I love you for every minute of it. Ring-a-ding-ding.

By Catherine Barr

It’s a Wonderful Life runs at the Granville Island Stage in Vancouver until Dec 29, 2012

http://www.catherinebarr.com

http://www.westvancouver.com

http://www.northvancouver.com

Widowed and the mother of two young children Dorie Fitzgerald is out of work, living in a new town and desperate for friends. She decides to audition at the local theater for It’s A Wonderful Life hoping to meet people.

Jamey Sullivan’s dream is to perform on Broadway and it looks like he is one step closer to realizing that dream when he scores a agent/manager who gets him an audition in New York City. The only problem is his dad needs him to run the family business, and the new woman in town has caught his attention.

I’m probably the only person in the United States who has never actually sat through the entire movie It’s a Wonderful Life, but from what I understand the characters in this story face choices much the same as the characters in the movie.

I enjoyed It Really IS a Wonderful Life and think it was a delightful Christmas read. It looks like it is only available on Amazon and the last time I checked it was free to borrow for Prime Members.

It Can Be a Wonderful Life! from Chris Leonard on Vimeo.

The 1946 film “It’s a Wonderful Life” teaches a powerful lesson about the impact that one person can have on the lives of others.  George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) has a few things that begin to go wrong in his life.  While being consumed with a moment of shortsightedness, he contemplates ending his life by jumping in to a freezing river.  A guardian angel who is trying to earn his wings is sent to keep him from taking his life.  In so doing, Clarence gave George Bailey “A chance to see what the world would be like without (him).”  After seeing the world without him, he begins to realize how many lives he has touched and how much better off his loved ones are because of him.  After George has this epiphany, the angel Clarence declares to him, “You see, George, you’ve really had a wonderful life.”

As we were going through the lesson in Elders Quorum (President’s Monson’s talk “Consider the Blessings”), I was struck by the impact that President Monson had been able to have on the lives of others.  Truly, he has had a “wonderful life.”  As we were going through the various examples that President Monson shared, it dawned on me that the Lord will provide a way for us all to have a “wonderful life” and that these moments will most likely come when we are seeking to bless the lives of others.  As we enter the holiday season, it is my hope that we pay special attention to blessing the lives of others so that we can look at ourselves in the mirror and confidently exclaim, “You’ve really had a wonderful life.”

Ifølge legenden reddede Nikolaus de små børn fra en ond mand, der var så grusom.  Han nedsaltede de små børn. Nikolaus reddede også tre sømænd. Man kan godt sige, at han var datidens Supermand.

Troede du på julemanden da du var barn? Jeg gjorde. Eller, i hvert fald var jeg sikker på, at jeg var i familie med ham. Hvorfor hang der ellers 24 pakker fra loft til gulv i mit værelse? Det var heller ikke alle børn i min børnehave der havde pakkekalender i december. Til gengæld havde de søskende, det havde jeg så ikke. Jeg syntes det var fair, at jeg var i familie med julemanden. Noget måtte enebørn jo belønnes med.

Et gammelt mundheld siger, at som vejret er på Nikolaus Dag, sådan bliver månedens vejr. Så sne bliver til mere sne. It’s magic everywhere.

Who do I think I am to ask for happy? I can throw a rock and hit some other soul that would and has given their very lives for a moment with all their legs or hands or even someone they love back with them. The conviction runs rampant through my heart…I know I am behaving badly here. But today I am there….at one of those points of just sadness…..feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd.

What a loser….here comes the self-deprecation, I am good at that one…..too good. Wallowing

Iconic screen shot from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

is one of my specialties also…along with tears and fear. The tiredness of it all is palatable…groaning inside me, my heart aches. Lord give me that sign….the George Bailey…..the good ole Hail Mary pass. The reminder that no matter how hard life gets….it is still better than the alternative…never being born at all.

With Christmas upon me, I am finding it hard to be happy. With the obvious loss

of family members and the absence of others, the attempt to be cheerful is a broken down cliché. But I do know that thankfully I will not always be happy….everyday of my life. Actually that would be frustrating and positively obnoxious to anyone around me. I would hate me!!

One thing I do know for sure is that JOY is the goal…along with PEACE and most of all HOPE. I do have HOPE…..and just like George Bailey from “It’s A Wonderful Life, I too am full of hope that I know will get me thru these rough patches in life. Although my heart remains heavy, my spirit can rest in the knowledge that….”with God all things are possible!”..Matthew 19:26 and just like the virgin Mary found out so many years ago, each of our lives are here for a purpose….for such a time as this, Esther 4:14.

The LOVE of God is everlasting and the happy follows and flows like a river…sometimes there are rocks and a wood chuck builds a dam or it is a hot year and it nearly dries up…these are the times and seasons for us all to endure and be happy in the wisdom of those who have come before us. Had they been as whinny as me, nothing would have ever gotten finished. So I say with all gratitude, thanks be to GOD for my life and I will attempt to live with more joy…even when I don’t wanna!!!

Our friends have been sending money to a website my amazing friend (and Portland headhunter who believed in me since we first met 13 years ago) Jackie Mathys set up for us (http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/friends-of-jacki-kane-breast-cancer-fund/36057). It’s so scary and so real to see our picture on that website – usually we’re the ones overeager to help. It’s just so wildly uncomfortable to accept help. This time, I can’t be stupid and be all like, “Oh no, it’s not necessary. We’ve got this.” All I can do is express my profound gratitude to Jackie Mathys and everyone – whether you donated money, made me a hat (Thank you, Julie Y!), brought us dinner, cheesy magazines (You know who you are, Domenico!) or just gave me a hard time and made me feel closer to normal. I will keep your names. I will send proper thank you notes (My dad is watching. Thank you notes are mandated in our family.) And, I will appreciate your compassion, kindness and friendship forever. Okay, now I’m making myself cry.

Brian’s been walking around looking like he’s carrying a semi across his shoulders. This website is going to help ease his financial fears. He told me last night he’s heartbroken seeing me go through this – but I don’t want him to be! I really don’t. This isn’t that bad. It’s going to suck out loud, but it’s not a death sentence. I’ve got SO many more years in me to mess up the kids. And, tell more jokes. When I got dressed this morning, the first thing in my mind was: “I’m not wearing a bra. So sue me.”

Travers in his most memorable role, as Clarence Odbody in It’s a Wonderful Life (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

George wants to die because he thinks his life isn’t worth living…that it would be better if he had never been born.

There are days like that for all of us, huh? Maybe not to the extent that George felt it, but we all have times where we struggle, and wonder the “why’s” out loud? It’s easy to see the hardness of life, if we don’t make a concentrated effort to see the good.

Clarence, George’s guardian angel, tells him, “You see George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?”

Clarence and George were just characters in a movie, but there is truth in what they say.

Life has its up’s and down’s, that is for sure, I am definitely not here to debate that fact. Regardless, life does give us much to be thankful for.

It has to do with perspective and where we choose to look.
Remind yourself daily of all the things for which you are thankful…….

and then pass the popcorn and hot chocolate, the movie is about to start.

*******************************************************

Today I am thankful for:

* friends of all ages

* going on a Christmas House Tour

* twinkling lights

* spur of the moment “dates” with my husband

* laughing together

* children that make me smile

* children that drive me crazy

* hugs

* kisses on rough, stubbly faces

* asking questions

* friends that know Jesus

* planning a classic movie night with girlfriends

* seeing that there truly can be joy after mourning

* home made fudge

* goofiness

* singing Christmas songs along with Pandora

* the smell of freshly ground coffee

* beautiful Christmas decor

* heavy fog on a warm December morning

* living in “the sticks”

* wide open spaces

* Jesus, my Savior

* knowing that because HE lives, I can face tomorrow

Related articles

• Christmas in a Small Town – It’s a Wonderful Life (joanneeddy.com)
• Holiday Traditions (goingtoseedinzone5.wordpress.com)
• “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” (faithandfilms.wordpress.com)
• The Greatest Gift (earth-rider.com)
• Jesus Messiah (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)
• A Thankful Heart (beverlyfarr.wordpress.com)

..but

(There’s always a but)

.. Sometimes I find it very helpful to go back and read what I have written about my journey so far and often I find that what I wrote a few years ago takes on a new meaning when I read it today.

Life is so clever.

One of my intentions with this blog is to share that part of me that is pure, unstripped, naked, untouched and raw.

So, I have chosen to publish a text from my journal that I have been writing the last couple of years.

Sunday 24/10/10

3:02 P.M

“…I sat there on a rock, and I looked up to the sky.

Up into the clouds.

The sun was shining so I couldn’t focus my eyes on the sky for a very long time before I got blinded. But what I saw, during that short time, was the great mystery.

You know what I’m talking about don’t you?

I’m talking about the origin of life.

The perfection and magnificence that life consist of.

The Source if you like.

In my, mind for a millisecond, I zoomed out, from where I was sitting, on that rock, somewhere in Christchurch, in the country New Zealand, on the Planet we call Earth, which belongs in a galaxy, that we call the Milky Way, which in turn was born through the very womb of the almighty Universe.

And that’s where we belong.

We belong to everything.

And everything belongs to us.

Our life here in this place, we call the universe, is endless.

We can never die, we can only change shape.

There is nothing to fear.

I zoomed back out again.

And I could see and understand, that, of which I am speaking about.

Everything is a reflection of everything.

I snapped out of my inner vision quickly.

And I looked around.

I wanted to spend 10 minutes of just feeling. Just touching.

So I did.

I lay down, on the ground, and I started to touch a straw of grass.

My whole awareness was in my fingertips.

My mind wandered off a couple of times thinking things like

“I wonder how many people die everyday, who have never really felt the sensation of a straw sliding through their fingers?”

I caught myself thinking and consciously went back to being present.

As I was lying there in the grass, seeing and feeling, the true essence of nature, it also hit me how perfect everything is.

Every straw of grass, every flower, every bee is the result of perfect creation and manifestation.

I picked up a flower and looked at it.

Looked at its shape, its perfect symmetry.

What I saw was myself looking into my own eyes.

Then, I looked up at the sun, and I saw the same thing.

I felt that,

This force, that is the creator of all things, that is within me, as well as within you,

It is perfect.

It knows what it is doing.

The world consists of two things; Destruction and Creation.

We need to accept both of them.

They need to be in balance.

Most importantly, we need to see these two forces within ourselves.

We need to identify how they are playing out in our lives and also realise that for every time something is destroyed, there, right there, is your opportunity to create something even more fulfilling.

To create something, that will take you to the next level.

I feel a peace inside of me.

A gentle tingling in my stomach.

The world is unveiling itself in front of my eyes.

There is no reason to look for mystery and magic in the stars.

When it’s right there, in front of your eyes.

Or even better.

Right there within your beautiful heart.

You don’t need to go anywhere, you don’t need to do anything.

Just let your breath show you the way.”

The Magical Man in The Waterfall

Thanksgiving is probably one of my favorite holidays, there is great food to be eaten and fun times to be had with family and friends. Even though I just got back from BSU yesterday, I have already had such a lovely time seeing some of my best friends from home and spending some quality time with my sisters.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on everything you are thankful for, and a time to reach out to those who you are grateful to have in your life. For me I am so thankful  for my family and friends. My family is always there for me, and my sisters are two of my favorite people in this whole world. I am blessed to not only have some great friends at home, but some great friends away at school too. I am so grateful for all of the opportunities I have been presented with by going to Bridgewater State University. I am blessed to be here on this earth with my health and with love.

Here is a college of some of my favorite pictures of friends and family from the last year. I am so happy to have all of these people in my life!

Tell me about your wonderful life–What are you thankful for this holiday season?!

XO, Christine

1.The Sims -PC Game

2.Campus Life – Ipad

3.Theme Park – Ipad

4.Fashion Design World – Ipad

All of these games r awesome n very addictive especially The Sims 3

Peace n Out B-)

Alright, so I have been thinking a lot lately, mostly because people keep asking me about the book and what it is about. So one of the best questions I was posed was…”If you were on a talk show and you had to describe to the world what the book is….what would you say?” Woooahhh. Tough question right? Okay, so I am going to talk this out as much as possible and come to a conclusion at the end. First, I think I have to tell you where the book starts.

Loss. Most of you guys here have been reading since January…and what is interesting to me is that there are only a handful of people who actually know the story before I started blogging on this platform. There is almost a full year of development that has been missed by most, simply because this was not my starting place for writing. To me, this is actually incredibly exciting that I have something in store for you with the book that you haven’t really seen in the blog. So keep your socks on…so I can knock them off.

Back to the question. What would you say. Well first I would have to say what it is all about. The book is a testament to the blog…in representing a three-year long journey towards becoming a better man and the things I have learned along the way. Further, this journey will never end, because from it I have learned things that have altered the course of my life forever. The importance of Love, Passion, a Never quitting attitude…and above all else, Integrity. I remember the times where I first sat down to blog and it was just me. The 1 view was coming from my roommate in the next room who would help me through the thick and the thin that was going to be the next year or so. So as each life event taught me something really important about my character…I started to build on myself and the wisdom I was gaining from learning about myself, and learning from others.

A very famous philosopher, I think it was either Plato or Socrates, said that the smartest philosopher in the room is the man who realizes that he in fact…knows nothing. Bingo, that is making it into my description of this journey. Because at the beginning, all of the buildings were down. I knew who I wanted to become, but didn’t for a second pretend that I knew how to become it. So, if I ever give a speech…I might walk out on the stage…and say…”Hi, I’m Evan Sanders, I am 23 years old…and I in fact…know nothing. BUT, from nothing, I was able to give my chance, to learn about…everything.” Feel me?

Most of this journey has been shadowed by significant amounts of pain, failure, struggle, you name it. Why? I am pushing my boundaries each and every day. Those words in the previous sentence are the words that I am going to use to describe it to you. However, the way I describe it to myself is “learning opportunities.” Failing is fantastic. Well, failing going 100% is fantastic. IF you fail by half assing it, well what the hell did you expect in the first place? There have been times where I have been so unbelievably discouraged by the amount of times I have failed that I thought about quitting. But when you stand for Never Quitting…it becomes impossible for you to…and you move right through the obstacles.

I know nothing, and therefore, I have the ability to learn about things that other people cannot. But it goes a little bit deeper than that. When you think that something about you is certain, you kind of shut off your ability to morph and adapt. I am not saying that knowing yourself is bad, but I’m saying that if you say you cannot change something about you, then you have just found your weakest link. As Plitt says, “If it can be fixed…or made better…it’s as good as broken.” That’s the damn truth.

This is not a manual for anyone. In fact, you won’t find a chart, equation, numbered list….of things that you need to do in order to be happy. What I have tried to do is tell a story…without actually telling the story. Everyone has gone through tons and tons of situations in their life, but that’s not really the important part. The important part is how you feel and the emotions that are left behind. That is the story that I try to tell. No one’s pain or grief is better than anyone else’s. When you take away the who what when where why…you are just left with the emotions. And the emotions are what people can relate to. So in essence, the book is a story about my journey, one that you can travel along with me…and you can grab your lantern…and dive deep down into the caves of your heart with me.

Sometimes you have to be your own hero. And that will create permanent lasting change. That is what The Better Man Project is about. Stop listening to what other people tell you to do and start looking deep within. You may be surrounded in silence, but that is when you start to hear your own voice for the first time. The thing that makes you tick…and drives you to great things.

Take the journey with me.

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject

I wrote this piece last night, and wanted to write today about the after effects of it. I posted the writing below.

I Accept

I accept your challenge…the one you put in front of me,

You know exactly who I can and cannot be,

You have taken away the noise and left me in silence,

Causing my inner voice to storm with violence,

But you know that this is the test before the storm,

To get me ready to ultimately perform,

In front of the crowd who needs a voice,

Because that voice, was lost in the noise.

You have stripped away the people who were once near,

To make me listen to my heart with both ears,

You have allowed me to doubt the path and its result,

Causing a little bit of personal tumult.

But you know better than all,

That this is just part of the internal brawl,

That you are putting me through to help me grow,

And to never think…but just to know.

Mother Teresa had a very famous line that is often misquoted. She said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle.” Usually, the quote stops there. But the rest of the line goes “I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” Last night I wrote the piece above which talked about accepting the challenge. In the past three years, never have I once said to myself, “Okay, I accept the challenge.” All of the adversity, all of the struggle…was just me being silently reactionary. Instead, I now know that it is all part of the journey.

I am not a huge believer that everything is planned out for you. However, I do believe to certain extent that once you choose a specific path, there are bumps and victories prepared for you along the way. Those bumps and victories are perfectly sized to how big of a game you play in life. The bigger the game,  the bigger the victories and defeats. When you play small…expect small gains.

Today is a special day for me because I just hit 200,000 views and have almost 10,000 followers. I remember the days when I had 3 people viewing my blog. Hell, I even remember it when my roommate was the 1 viewer I would have. I truly believe reading through the comments, the messages on my other channels, and some of the personal interactions that I have had with individual users that something special is being created here. We…and yes it is we…are creating something that is going to have a massive impact on the world. Yes, my writing happens to be the vessel for which the conversation is started, but the conversation continues with each and every one of you who are contributing. Through pictures, quotes, pieces of advice…the works. So thank you for helping me achieve something that I never saw at the start. Sometimes, on the journey, we get lost and find greater dreams. The path splits. And we walk in greater directions.

Accept the challenge. Today, I have had all the energy and courage in the world because I know that everything in front of me is put there to make me grow. We all have a definition of what The Big Guy upstairs looks like, some of us don’t and that is perfectly fine…but the important part is believing in something that you have been given…yourself. When you start believing that you are everything you need to transform and lead a great life, then you can actually do it. Without that belief or in the constant searching for other people’s advice on how to live your life, you will end up disappointed. Been there done that.

I am proud to be writing each and every day. What makes me even more proud and humbled, is the fact that I have literally thousands of great people who are all rooting me on…but most importantly, who are all walking with me on their journeys. After the book launches, and I get some money, I am going to spend months traveling the world, setting up meeting places in prominent  cities so everyone can come sit down and talk. Wouldn’t that be a blast? I will record your stories…and we will continue this journey together.

The Better Man Project…as in a project for a better mankind.

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject

]]> http://thebettermanprojects.com/2012/11/15/movie-motivation/ Thu, 15 Nov 2012 16:03:11 +0000 thebettermanprojects http://thebettermanprojects.com/2012/11/15/movie-motivation/ At the request of a good friend Bryan…who has a big weekend in front of him…some motivation at its finest

I accept your challenge…the one you put in front of me,

You know exactly who I can and cannot be,

You have taken away the noise and left me in silence,

Causing my inner voice to storm with violence,

But you know that this is the test before the storm,

To get me ready to ultimately perform,

In front of the crowd who needs a voice,

Because that voice, was lost in the noise.

You have stripped away the people who were once near,

To make me listen to my heart with both ears,

You have allowed me to doubt the path and its result,

Causing a little bit of personal tumult.

But you know better than all,

That this is just part of the internal brawl,

That you are putting me through to help me grow,

And to never think…but just to know.

To the Big Guy above…who is testing me right now. I accept the challenge. You have taught me the importance of Love, Passion, and Never Quitting on my dreams…and I know in my heart that my resolve will be rewarded. This may be the silence before the storm…but I know that the tough paths are not given to those who lead the easy life. I am crazy enough to think I can change the world. You have given me the permission to do so…now all I have to do is go out and take it. I have to stop doubting, stop questioning…and just know…that with whatever you are behind my back…I will not fail.

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject

Sometimes we aren’t addicted to a substance or alcohol. Sometimes, we are addicted to something else. Whatever that might be, the experience is the same for those who are going through a fight to overcome what is in front of us. A long time ago after I had a my first elbow surgery, the doctors prescribed me two medications which in combination turned me into a shell of myself. I was completely useless. Permanently in a daze. The pain was gone, but after two weeks of this I had to go back into the office and beg for them to give me something else that didn’t have the side effects. Instead of giving me anything else, they told me that I probably didn’t need pain killers anymore and to just take Advil if I was in any pain. Thank god I thought that I was off of whatever they gave me. Little did I know the absolute hell I was going to go through. I remember my body itching and feeling like something was crawling under my skin. I looked up symptoms of withdrawals. Check. Check. Check. Check. But I promised myself to get out of it. This is a tiny example in comparison to what many go through with drugs and alcohol. I had a little glimpse of this pain…and knew that I would never venture into the land of substance abuse. I don’t like feeling out of control of my own body.

Like I said before though, there are many people who aren’t addicted to something that you can snort, shoot, or smoke. Pain, depression, sex, the list goes on. Their pain is just as bad as those who are ingesting their demise. And that’s what it really is. A path towards demise. Sometimes our minds are infected. This is incredibly dangerous because our mind is very convincing to our body. Whatever it thinks we become. If the mind is weak…the body will follow. By the way…I hope that you don’t think I am writing out of my ass here…this comes from deep down from experience.

Once you decide to drag your mind out of the gutter, the rest will follow. That’s why I started writing three years ago. I saw my path. I knew where it was headed…because I was given an incredible moment of clarity that I will never forget. That moment changed my course drastically, and while it hasn’t been easy and there has been that metaphorical “itch” and “relapse” a few times on the journey, the compass has always pointed in the right direction. You can overcome horrible things. I have seen it with my own eyes and I have seen others do it. But this has to be the start. Admittance. Standing…looking in the mirror and admitting that whatever it is…you’re addicted. Without the truth, everything else falls apart.

As I think more and more about the purpose of this project, it becomes clear to me that it is a search for truth. For what is right in life. Not what the world shows me, but what I can truly feel deep down in this heart of mine. I have been on the battlefield for three years, and I would never consider retreating to safety. The bullets flying, the bombs going off, the death of dreams and the loss of friends are all going on in this battle in my mind. But with all this loss, I have seen amounts of victory and bravery that I never knew I was capable of. I have overcome things that I knew were going to tear me apart if I didn’t learn from myself. Life is not always about being able to see the sun…it is also about being able to dance in the rain. This battlefield will come to an end one day, but until that time I continue fighting on. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t find something inside of myself that I need to dig out from the depths and bring to the light. Once it is exposed to light though…it crumbles. It gives me more and more reason to believe that our fears are a lie and all we have to do is have the courage to see ourselves truly for the way we are.

I have much left to do…but there is one major thing I need to charge at with all my might. Fear is present, but the courage in me and the sound of my heart pounding will outweigh that timidness.

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject