In an effort to escape the mess at home and get some work done, I overheard a bit of a conversation between two women.  After introducing myself, I was blessed to meet Laura Ely and Sheila Bauer!

I’m excited to invite you to an hour with Laura Ely as she shares with us her gift for helping embrace who we are through personal style!

Body Talk

May 17, 2013 , 9:30-11:30am
Mount Calvary Lutheran Church, Rm. 207
301 County Road 19, Excelsior, MN 55331
Hosted by MotherCare, childcare available
RSVP suggested.

LauraElyStyle

Discover Your Beauty and Personal Brand
Creating the style and wardrobe you love to wear everyday.
Are you ready to align your style with who you are on a deep level – your authentic self?
Are you ready to create a clear and consistent brand image?
Are you ready for change and the next step to greater personal and professional success?

As founder of LauraElyStyle, Laura is a vibrant combination of image consultant, color expert and master stylist.  Laura’s powerful discovery process develops and defines a confident and effective personal style and brand.

Laura is a master stylist and wardrobe consultant with more than 20 years experience in the fashion industry.  Since 1991, her clients have included professionals working at major companies, non-profits, and government, as well as busy mom and dads!

Check out her blog post Body Talk!

Looking for an alternative to the coffee shop, but still offer the option for possible networking?

Looking for a great place to get a break?  Check out Blessing House in Victoria, MN!  They have coffee and a great view, so perfect place to spend a few hours working!  Please leave a donation in the box on the entry-way table to support their mission!  (I love it as a place to write!)

In need for a place to work or hold meetings?  Check out The Commons in Excelsior, MN.  They are fully equipped for all your needs and only steps away from Lake Minnetonka!(Perfect for weekend retreats or meetings as in walking distance from great shopping and dining!)

My friend and I both got married quite “young”, for Western European standards anyway. Everyone around us thought that was it. We got married, next we will build a house and have children. We might go back to work part-time and then have a second child. No more than two children in total of course, we wouldn’t want to ruin the 1.7 average, would we. Just funny though that we met on the train this morning, both of us going to places to do a job. Being away from home for days on end, while friends of ours that might have asked a few years back whether we “are not too young to get married”, are at home looking after their children. Neither is right or wrong, of course.

Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely loooooove prejudices! They always give you something to talk about and they make fantastic jokes! A lot of them are true for a lot of people as well and what I like best about them: To prove them wrong! Here is one that’s not true: Germans on holiday only put their towels on the sunbeds because the English started it and we had to react. Fact. And here is another one: When you get married, you don’t have to have children – straight away or at all.

So, next time you meet someone and you mentally start to categorise them, think again. Who knows what they are capable of and what their life plan looks like!

The bill is part of a strategy that House Majority Leader Eric Cantor developed for his caucus after the (to them) disappointing results of last year’s elections.

They’ve got an image problem, they think. For some unfathomable reason, a whole lot of voters think the Republican party cares only about the rich.

House Republicans have to show us that they’re “making life work for more Americans and their families,” as a special website Cantor created proclaims.

So he and his colleagues have decided to give working families flexibility, according to the title of the bill. “Flexibility” here refers to the ability to take time off from work without losing pay.

But not, as the proposed Healthy Families Act would. It would require most employers to provide some paid leave for personal or family health-related needs or to get help in cases of domestic violence, stalking or sexual assault.

The Working Families Flexibility Act would instead supposedly allow employees to choose compensatory time instead of overtime pay when they worked more than 40 hours a week.

This means, of course, that it would apply only to workers who get paid by the hour — those at the bottom of the wage scale. They’re the least likely to have paid leave benefits. So the bill might seem a boon to them.

But it isn’t — mainly because these workers wouldn’t really have the choice the bill seems to give them.

Hypothetically, they could choose to continue getting overtime pay instead of opting for comp. time. We have to assume that many would, since $10.00 an hour — the average wage for workers without paid sick leave — is barely enough to lift a family of three above the federal poverty line.

But, as Working America argues, employers would have the upper hand. They could give workers incentives to choose comp. time, e.g., a better shift. They could pressure them.

True, the bill specifically prohibits employers from intimidating, threatening or coercing employees to accept comp. time instead of overtime pay.

But, as the National Women’s Law Center notes, we have more than enough evidence that many employers pay no mind to provisions in our labor laws that are supposed to protect low-wage workers.

Even workers who willingly chose comp. time couldn’t necessarily use it when they needed it.

An employer could legally deny a request by saying it “unduly disrupts … operations” or grant it “within a reasonable period,” rather than for the particular day(s) or hour(s) requested.

So much for taking a day off when your kid is sick — or her school declares a snow day and there’s no one else to care for her.

So much for knowing you can get a few hours off when you need to get legal protection from an abuser.

The Working Families Flexibility Act has another implication for low-wage workers. It really is, as Working America says, a “job killer” because it enables employers to get all needed work done on the cheap.

At this point, as the Fair Labor Standards Act intended, employers have a financial incentive to hire more workers — or offer some part-timers full-time jobs — when they need to get more work done because overtime is half again as costly as straight wage.

Comp. time obviously does away with the incentive.

So here you are, working mothers. You can’t be sure you’ll generally work only eight hours a day and thus have a little time to get to the grocery store, help your kids with their homework, etc.

You can’t be sure you’ll have time off when you need it — or enough time off for a major life event like childbirth because your employer can, at any time, convert all but 80 hours of your comp. time to pay.

You can’t work overtime to make ends meet. And if, like 7.6 million workers, you’ve got a part-time job, though you’d like full-time work, you’re probably stuck with the hours you’ve got.

If House Republicans hadn’t already made “flexibility” a suspect word, this bill would do it.

We are all dictated by it. We are all guided and roped by this wonderful, abstract concept.

But how do we manage it?

How do we control and organize ourselves so that we can fit everything that needs to be done into the twenty-four hours that constitute an average day?

Easy.

As freelancers we all want to stay productive, motivated, alert, inspired and nourished; which is a very difficult balance to strike, especially as we all want to find that magical balance between having a healthy social life, and having a healthy work life.

So let’s look at things logically. Let’s take a quick step back and take a look at how easy this can be if we put things into perspective.

What are the main components that make up a healthy, happy individual?

The following six items are what I believe to be the essential categories in which you must separate the organization of your personal life. If you feel that I am missing something, or that I am being far too general, then leave a comment in the box below.

1. Food.

Everyone needs to eat. Everyone needs to keep themselves nourished in order to survive. This is fact, and this is not a tricky concept to grasp. If you do not find a regular time each day to sit and enjoy a meal, then you will not be able to achieve what you want to achieve to a very high standard. Far too many people neglect meal times and find themselves feeling sluggish and lazy for the entirety of their day, thus resulting in a lack of productivity.

2. Drink.

Similarly to food, if you do not keep yourself regularly hydrated, you will find yourself feeling sluggish and demotivated. I personally find that by keeping a two-litre bottle of water next to me at my desk at all times, I can mindlessly keep myself drinking whilst focusing on my job at hand.

3. Sleep.

This does not need to be a measure of length of sleep. There are no prizes for making sure that you sleep eight hours a day, you just need to find regularity in when you choose to sleep. As long as your body knows what is to be expected each day, it will react accordingly. Someone who wakes every morning at eight and sleeps at ten will find themselves naturally getting sleepy towards ten o’clock, and waking up around eight. Simple.

4. Chores.

Never to be neglected. If you can’t find time to do your basic chores, i.e. food shopping, washing, cleaning and ironing; then how are you going to feel organized in your work? Find a day each week, or a time each day to do a little. It’s much easier putting half an hour aside each night to wash the dishes and clean a section of the house, than to spend an entire day running around trying to squeeze it all in.

5. Social life.

I’m not saying I’m the most popular person on Earth, but I do have a lot of friends, and those friends – believe it or not – love to see my face on a regular basis. I’m also not saying that I do not want to see them, as I obviously do, otherwise they would not be my friends. Therefore, you have to find the time to spend some time with those lovely people that you enjoy. It can be so easy to find yourself getting so wrapped in to developing your business and managing your own life that, before you’ve even noticed, you’re a twenty-eight year old hermit whose best friend is a computer screen. I’m assuming that that isn’t what you want? Unless it is. In which case, just ignore me.

6. ‘Me’ time.

The pièce de résistance. Similarly to maintaining your social life, you must also find time to yourself each day in order to collect your thoughts. You must also find the time to finish your day by taking a few minutes to unwind and reflect.

If you think of it in a business sense; at the beginning of every project you will be given a brief; a starting point to peruse, examine and take the time to assess what needs to be done. This is exactly the same as with your own personal time. There is also always a chance at the end of a project to debrief yourself, or others, and contemplate the strengths and weaknesses of what has just been achieved. This is also the same as ending your work day. Find a cut-off point that works each day, and put your business into a box until it needs to be opened the following day. If you don’t give yourself the time to forget about your work for a while, you will obsess, and you will go mad!

Finding balance is hard; but if you find an easy-to-follow routine that will incorporate all of your necessaries for yourself, then it will be much easier to separate your mind between personal and work life. With a clear division in your mind of what needs to be done and when, you will be able to maximise your productivity at home, meaning that you have much more time to focus on driving forward as a freelancer.

So, let’s now look at the main components of working as a freelancer

The following are three points of division that MUST be maintained in order to drive a successful business in freelance. I have heard these three points referred to as ‘the milking stool’ of business, as, without one of these categories in the equation, the stool will topple and crumple to the floor.

7. Accounts.

Organize and balance your accounts. Without staying on top of your finances you are just going to be leaking cash here, there and everywhere. With your business account – if you don’t have one, I  highly recommend getting one asap – you should always be able to account for where every transaction has come from and disappeared to. If you can find a small period of time each week to filter through your finances and make sure that you’re staying above the breadline then you are giving yourself one less thing to worry about in the long run.

Also, stay on top of your taxes! As a self-employed individual, you will be responsible for paying the wonderful tax man. Don’t give him an excuse to show his ugly side.

8. Marketing

How can you ever hope to build a business if you do not market? Imagine your business is a small puppy – aw, how cute! – and your clients are food. If this adorable, vulnerable puppy does not crawl across the floor, blind from birth, towards a food source, i.e. its mother’s milk, then it will die. I realise that this metaphor takes a slightly dark turn, but the principle is extremely applicable. Whether it’s shouting about your business to everyone that you know until you are blue in the face, posting leaflets door to door until your fingers bleed, or clogging up every news feed available online, you must find a way to make yourself heard and make everyone aware of what it is you can offer and why you are so amazing.

9. Working.

The real reason as to why you became a freelancer. Your art. Whether it’s editing, designing, training or building, this should be the part in which your passion explodes. This , sadly, is one of the smaller legs of the stool, as you must put in the legwork in order to practice your craft and earn your keep, so without that passion and drive the rest will be made that much harder. Make sure you’re freelancing for the right reasons. I, myself, have chosen to freelance in order to be more in control of my own time and to work within a field that fascinates me and that I have always dreamed of delving into. Without that fire in your belly to keep you moving, you will crumble.

Again, finding the right balance is difficult, but if you can take the time to get yourself into a routine, then everything else will slot into place. Take 20 minutes at the beginning of the day to filter emails, an hour dedicated to marketing here and there, an afternoon to balance your finances.

If you make yourself aware of everything listed above, then you can find an easy way to balance life. I know that many people hate the idea of working nine ’til five, but there is a reason that this is useful. You can really maximise productivity my creating a routine.

Below is just an example routine that may be useful, but this is not one that I strictly follow as every freelancer will be different.

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Monday – Friday

7:30am – 9am:   Wake up, wash, dress, eat, take time to fully relax and straighten your head for the day.

9am – 10am: Check emails, filter and prioritise today’s tasks, write a priority list.

10am – 11:30am: Work.

11:30am – 12pm – Short tea break.

12pm – 1:30pm – Work.

1:30pm – 2:30pm: Lunch break.

2:30pm – 4:00pm – Work.

4:00pm – 4:30pm: Short tea break.

4:30pm – 6pm: Work.

6pm – onwards: Relax and do chores (you’ve earned it!)

Saturday – Sunday

DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!

**************************************************

This may not be the best routine for you, but it clearly displays solid blocks of time in which work can be completed, whilst also showing that there is always time for a quick break. Never burn yourself out before you can complete your tasks.

For now, I shall leave you with these snippets of wisdom to digest as you will. Look out for my next entry entitled:

Useful apps to stay organized – Android

Keep an eye on this blog. This will be displaying various tools and tips that I use to keep my life organized and balanced.

Keep inspired!

*** As a beginner freelancer myself, I am slowly learning many small, yet valuable lessons. This post is designed to put one of the founding principles of freelancing into perspective and to make  it slightly easier for anyone looking at becoming a freelancer to digest what the job role may entail. I do not claim to be an authority on this subject, I just wish to bear my opinion.***

Firstly, some of the benefits:

• It’s so much fun!  Yes, in the early months there is a lot of mess, but be prepared with bibs, wipe clean floors, and plenty of flannels and baby wipes and it’s no problem
• In the long run, it’s a lot less mess – I promise!  Because your baby has a head start on learning how to eat, they get the hang of eating neatly a lot sooner
• It gives you extra time: spoon feeding a baby involves both of you and is over very quickly, but you can put your baby in their highchair with a selection of food and leave them to it (supervised) whilst you get on with eating your own dinner and doing the washing up
• You can go out for dinner and they can eat at the same time as you, meaning you don’t have to entertain them or take your own food for them
• It takes a lot less organisation as you just give them what you’re making anyway
• It helps you eat more healthily as you want to introduce them to more foods
• It’s makes for more adventurous eaters – it’s great showing off your kids eating things like olives and prawns and mustard!
• It’s less cooking and washing up for you – as everyone eats the same food at the same time.

And a few tips:

• At first your baby won’t understand that food fills them up, so if they’re hungry give them a milk feed first.  Food should be considered an activity in its own right, rather than a mealtime, for the first couple of weeks at least so offer it when they are wide awake and happy – it might not be at traditional mealtimes for a while
• Offer a selection of foods and allow them to play with it and eat what they want.  Even if they seem to not like something, keep offering it a few times to give them opportunities to try it again.  Don’t worry if it all ends up on the floor!
• Don’t worry if they don’t seem to eat much, they are still getting everything they need from milk - remember “food is for fun until they are one”
• Start with things that are easy to hold: brocoli, roasted veg in chip shapes, soldiers of toast (spread with anything: hummus, cream cheese, avocado, banana, melted cheese)
• If you are worried about giving your baby solid foods straight away, then try to team up with a friend who has done baby-led weaning (ideally one who is a couple of weeks ahead of you) so that they can give you more confidence.  Sharing mealtimes is also a great way to give you a break from cleaning up once in a while!!
• Enjoy it and take lots of photos!  Here are three of my favourites of Oscar.

So I am going to focus on on the here and now, and I am working on not talking to Mr FWB at all anymore but I do like to hear what he’s up to via social networking! And as for the others I am just trying to avoid chatting to them too! But it gets hard when you are feeling bored/cheeky!

Maybe its time I joined a proper dating site that would help me to meet Mr professional.. what do you think peeps? any success stories?

I will keep you posted!

xoxo

E

When I was younger, I always planned my travels to the last detail: every hotel night, every sight to be seen, every food to be tasted.  A practice, no doubt, heavily grounded in watching my parents plan our family summer vacations with that same furrowed brow they sport when poring over tax forms.  Last summer, suffering from third year medical student burn out and a hefty dose of personal turmoil, I took a mental health vacation – the first, but certainly not the last.  I arranged for time off school with my Dean on a Thursday, went for a hair cut, learned of Arcadia National Park on Google, and was on the road three days later.  I had never been to Maine, I have no idea how the idea of Maine germinated in my brain, but I drove those 830 miles in a day and a half and felt at peace the second I dipped my feet in the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean.  I left having only booked 2 nights in Bar Harbor with plan to meander about the Maine coast for 10 days.  And I did.  I decided on excursions as I went and booked hotels on a whim as needed.  That trip was perhaps the best trip I have ever taken.  It was spontaneous and slow-paced and made me realize that not all things need to be planned six months in advance.  ”Life is what happens to you when you’re busing making other plans” – said John Lennon.  So last summer I lived Life, rather than dwelling in my head thinking about Life.  What a concept.

My recent trip to Italy was also a last minute and purposefully under planned affair.  I had booked some of it, but left the last few days open, knowing I needed to make my way back to Roma eventually.  After time in Genova with wifey-love, I landed in San Vincenzo, a small Tuscan town on the Etruscan Coast, about halfway between Genova and Roma.  I didn’t pick the town; I picked a farmhouse nestled on a Tuscan hill covered in purple irises garden with reading chairs scattered throughout the grounds – or so Google told me.

“Welcome.  Can I get you anything to help you recover from your travels?  Espresso?  Cappuccino?”

Meet Giulio.  He’s skinny, stylish, and speaks exquisite English.  I ended up declining and running to the bathroom instead.  He then carried my suitcase and led me to my room – read incredibly cosy suite with exposed wood beams, a king size bed that the Italians lovingly call a “matrimonial bed” according to wifey-love, and a tea kettle.  After I got settled and jumped on the bed a few times, I walked back to the main house for a tour.  Giulio made us espressos while we chatted by the bar.  He took out a map of the area and gave me ideas on what to do.

Me: “This house feels like it has seen a lot of life.  How long have you lived here?”

Giulio: “I was born here.  When I was a boy my mama started the hotel with just three rooms.  I used to eat breakfast with the guests before going to school.”

I have had the pleasure of visiting many a bed & breakfast in my travels, in Maine last summer, but also for years in England when my parents would take my brother and I across windswept Lake District and Yorkshire to see one more church, one more stately home.  Those B&Bs had flower-patterned quilts and tea kettles, and maybe they had soul too, but I was too young to intuit that.  But never had I been in a place where the line between home and business had been so exquisitely blurred to simply become Life.  In the main house, a few dinner tables are scattered in the large living room that opened on a screened in veranda.  The family dogs roam about the house, greeting every guest but never overstaying their welcome.  The Chef who runs the farmhouse’s small restaurant greets each diner at their table and takes their orders – in Italian, English or French.  In the daytime, Giulio’s mama sits at one of those tables and does the accounting.  If you ask her about the house, she opens up instantly – in my case bemoaning the fact that many American guests request Ketchup for their eggs in the morning but refuse the freshly made tomato reduction she offers them instead.

I only stayed in San Vincenzo for a couple of days, but left a piece of me in that house.  How easy it was to adopt the slow-paced life of the farmhouse, to be content just sitting in the garden.  When you can see the sea shimmer in the distance over your morning cappuccino, you realize that breakfast is life, that you’ve arrived, that there is only now and it is yours to enjoy – so why don’t you?  For Giulio and his mama, life is work and work is life.  Once you see past that distinction, you give up the role of “worker” or the role of “housemate” and you can be yourself.  Everything you do is authentic.  In the case of Giulio and his mama, they do what they love and they love what they do.

Tuscan dolce vita: when the love of life permeates everything.  What could be sweeter?

Is your career-racing habit your worst ever investment?

Ages ago, with monies kindly received from my grandma, I put €25 to a savings account. Years later I went back to the bank and added another €45 to that account. Half a century later, I went back to the bank to withdraw these monies. With a mischievous smile, the bank manager returned me a meagre €10.  That was all that was left after decades of inflation. That was it; €10! And no; it wasn’t a bank in Cyprus; or in Greece, Portugal, Ireland or so on.

So for the analists amongst us, a half a century investment of €70 returned us a miserable €10. That doesn’t look to be a smart deal.

And for the rat-racers amongst us, I start to wonder if our career chasing behaviour is a real good investment. And what the returns are for your massive inputs, efforts and hardship? I just wonder if the maths of our career investment works out; financially and psychologically? As there is a kind of a comparison here with the above; isn’t there?

In general we massively invest in our future through learning –at school- and personal development in the early stage of our lives. Many of us study very hard and graduate around the age of 25. That stage in life is then completed with a further investment of 45 years of hard working. Those 45 years, we rat-racers, we give everything to enhance our company’s sustainable shareholder value. We work day and night and travel all around the world to ensure our products and services are on time and at the highest possible price with the customer. We even lock ourselves away for days –and weekends- at leadership development boot camps. And we spend most of our evenings on networking events or on preparing for tomorrow’s meeting. And Sunday evenings are reserved for further networking activities on LinkedIn. And for prep work for next week.

And we love –we think- this way of living. Even if we had little time over the last 45 years to really enjoy life. Even if we missed our son’s graduation at school. We also missed the birth of a first grandchild as we were on a business trip in China. And we are so happy that our partners helped our kids to get through the difficult stages of puberty; because we of course had no time for that. Nor did you ever find time to visit your neighbour in hospital; you know the one who is taking care of your garden.

And at the end of that amazing and oh so financially rewarding (perhaps) career journey, we start to make plans on filling our retirement days. Because yes, one day we arrive at that stage in life. Generally that is at the age of 70; in any case it will be around that age in the near future now that many governments are considering to move the retirement age towards 70.

The third stage. The final stage.

Then comes a third stage in life; and I’ll be brief on it -as it is short. With life expectancy figures in the developed Western world averaging at 80, you have exactly another 10 years to go after retirement. That makes that your investment of 25 years hard learning and 45 years hard working, results in a return of 10 years –hopefully- happy and healthy life. That doesn’t sound to be the best investment ever. 25+45=10?

So you may consider to bring some forms of enjoyment a bit forward and to bring these to the ‘now’. Today. Heute. Hoy. Aujourd’hui. Now is the time to contribute to your own enjoyment; to do those things that drive your happiness. And that doesn’t need to be at the detriment of your professional performance; not at all. Just spend some time on making plans to balance today the needs of both worlds. In fact, there aren’t two worlds; there is just one world, one life, your life. And spend your monies; don’t wait for the banker to return you €10. And do this all now, rather than wasting your time on making plans on how to spend your last €10; your last 10 years.

You’ll benefit from it. Same for your business. For your family. For the entire world. Live today; don’t live for tomorrow. Or in figures: 25+45=80. Today. Heute. Hoy. Aujourd’hui.

More of this in ‘ratrace to the boardroom’; see link above.

But heroes also live quietly among us, exhibiting heroism not through one or two shining moments, but by the way they live and the lessons they teach.

My mother is one of those people.

On the surface, my mother is an average, ordinary middle-class woman who has lived an average, ordinary American middle-class life. But look a little deeper, and you see extraordinary courage, determination, and convictions. I have learned more from my mother than I can say in one brief blog entry, but here are some of the highlights:

Music is important and so is your identity

I can’t remember a time when my mother didn’t sing. She sang in choirs, sometimes multiple ones, all her life until just recently. She sang along with the radio. She sang along (much to my adolescent humiliation) with the muzak at the grocery store. She sang lullabies and protest songs, hymns and pop songs. Her music led her to visit Russia, Poland, Romania, and Bulgaria during the height of the Cold War.

Perhaps more importantly, she stubbornly made time for music among all the pressures of full-time work, housekeeping, and looking after my dad, my sister, and me. Wholly unconsciously, she taught me that maintaining your own identity is not only possible in the context of home and family, but is entirely necessary to one’s sanity.

Perseverance is a critical life skill

She didn’t know it at the time, but my mother saved my life multiple times by teaching me that no matter what happens, you just keep going. You put your head down and plow through. You go to work when you don’t want to. You do chores even when no one is helping because that keeps the family running. You get creative with meals when the money is short. When something doesn’t pan out the way you planned, you find another solution. And another. And another. No matter how crappy life gets, no matter how many obstacles the universe places in your path, no matter how tired you are, you just keep going.

Feminists sometimes wear bras and don’t write Important Books

My mother came of age during a time of intense change for women. There were protest signs. There were bra-burnings. There was the sexual revolution. There were Important Books written about the role of women in society. There were conferences, and hand-wringing, and legislation (both failed and successful). Then there were the women, like my mother, who went out and just did it. They worked, came home, did chores, raised kids, had successful marriages, and somehow made it all work. In fact, mom did so much, so well, that I’m surprised that now that she’s retired, she doesn’t sleep 14 hours a day from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

Love makes up for a lot

My mother married my father when she was 18. By the age of 24, she had two children. So she made mistakes, like you do when you’re barely more than a child yourself and all of a sudden you’re responsible for two little, impressionable people. There wasn’t a lot of money when I was a kid. There weren’t fancy houses or cars or designer jeans. But there was love. So much love. I have never doubted that, in my mother’s eyes, I am the most lovable person in the world despite all my flaws. I have never doubted that no matter how hare-brained a scheme I might come up with that my mother would be there, supporting and encouraging me along the way.

I’ve gone on longer than I intended and still, I could write thousands more words about all the things I’ve learned from my mother. I would have to do this every Mother’s Day for years to get it all down. Maybe I will.

I love you, Mom. You’re my hero. Happy Mother’s Day!

I’m not going to debate the rights and wrongs of writing reports. We have to do them and that is that. I do think we can think a little more about our attitudes though.

One overwhelming thing that many of our updates have in common is a feeling of guilt. We feel guilty if we stray away from the laptop to get on with other aspects of life. Friends feel bad for doing a few loads of laundry, doing the grocery shopping or taking the time to do some exercise or cook some good healthy food. But why? We should not berate ourselves for getting on with things. We need to eat well or else our immune systems will go down and we’ll get sick. Going for a run gets the bloody flowing and sends oxygen to the brain, while a dip in the pool is relaxing. Sometimes we just need to do nothing.

We care about our students. We care about doing our jobs well. I think it’s time we all start to take a little care of ourselves too. So, dear teacher friends, it’s Sunday evening and time to shut down your reports and close the laptops. Read a book, watch a movie, have a swim or pour yourself a glass of wine … whatever floats your boat. Whatever you do, take a rest so you can be at your best in the morning.

Authenticity has been a theme for me recently, and I enjoyed Sandra Pawula’s post Walking the Labyrinth to Your True Self. Sandra explores how being authentic and living with integrity can lead to personal contentment, which in turn open you up to greater kindness and compassion. I am finding that allowing myself to follow my own path this past year has helped me be more responsive to other people’s needs, as less energy is consumed in worrying about myself.

Zen Habits had an interesting guest post by Lissa Rankin called 6 Steps to Healing Yourself. Lissa is a doctor who believes that the body knows how to heal itself, and that we can benefit by being more proactive about encouraging that natural capacity. I found it interesting when she says that the bodys natural  self-repair mechanisms work best when we are relaxed, and are impeded by excessive stress. She affirms that we intuitively know what we need to be well, although we don’t always pay attention. Thats certainly been my experience so its encouraging to hear it explained by a medical practitioner.

Louise Krupski wrote a thought provoking post on her blog Simple, Meaningful and Free about the complexities of deciding whether to downsize. Her post Is This My Beautiful House  describes the experience of being “stuck in this fairlytale” of a large home with an expensive mortgage. I could relate to the struggle between a gut instinct which is saying downsize and get out of debt now, and the desire not make a financially unwise decision. For myself, I have decided to embark on an experiment of following my intuition, which means that I have sold my home and quit my job. I don’t regret it, but I do wake up a night wondering if I should be putting more in my superannuation.

Intuition as a source of wisdom about how to act in a way that is congruent with our needs and goals is a thread which runs through these posts. One thing I notice about myself is that often I will know what my intuition is telling me, but I delay acting on the pretext of “being sensible” or “thinking about it”. Thats useful and necessary up to a point, but I am capable of resisting my intuition for years, or even decades, because I am daunted by what it is telling me.

With this in mind, I have decided to try an “early intuition response experiment”. My gut feeling is telling me that selling greeting cards is not the right direction for me to take. I have been considering various methods of scaling down such as allowing the listings in the Etsy store to time out over the next few months and focussing on selling out existing stock to shops.

However my gut feeling is if I do that the Etsy store  and face-to-face sales will continue to tug at my attention and suck up my time for the sake of a few more meagre sales.  In the meantime, I won’t be concentrating on the things that are important to me, including developing my writing and finding a viable and sustainable income source. Rather than invest more time and effort in a slow exit from a losing proposition, I have decided to close the Etsy store, announce the winding down of greeting card sales, and relegate the project to personal hobby status immediately. I have an inkling that this will free up my mental space to get on with the next step.

Intuition really can be a pain in the neck. Its scary to just trust that you know what you are doing and take a leap of faith, but I think its worth seriously exploring what your intuition is telling you, and what is holding you back. Working with your intuition is like building a relationship, it requires a series of interactions over time to build trust and understanding. Time spent ignoring what your heart is telling you not only delays the specific decisions at issue, it keeps you from building that trusting relationship with yourself, and gathering momentum towards an authentic life.

Graeme Goronovsky
Head Chef, The Grand Cafe and Beach

Graeme is passionate about soccer

There are not many young men that have reached the peak of their career at the age of twenty-five, but Graeme Goronovsky believes that he has earned his success.  His staff respects him because he has worked hard alongside them at The Grand Cafe and Beach

Graeme studied Professional Cookery at CPUT, Grainger Bay and graduated with a diploma in 2009. He undertook his internships at Maestros on the Beach and The Five Flies.  He did not continue his studies because one of his peers advised him that one learns much more by practical experience.

His first job was as a personal chef for two gentlemen from France; however there was no job security and he decided to move on.  The owner of Maestros on the Beach, Mark Tarica, believed that he could fill the shoes of manager.  Graeme says that Maestros built him into what he is today but he had experienced one management style and he felt that there was room to grow.  Needing to learn more, because he did not plan to work for someone else for the rest of his life,  he was later employed as Head Chef at The Grand Cafe and Beach.

As Sous Chef and Acting Head Chef every day is different.  Graeme reports to the Executive Chef who refers information that needs to be acted on.  The Executive Chef should not be seen in the kitchen.  His job is behind the scenes,  creating menus and doing costs, among other duties.  He designs and Graeme creates.  Daily activities for Graeme include all the ordering and ensuring that effective stock control procedures are applied at all times.  The most important aspect is to manage Hazard Analysis Critical Control Point (HACCP), ensuring basic hygiene in the kitchen.  In addition he has to rotate stock, making sure all the old stuff is at the top and the new stuff is at the bottom so that nothing goes rancid or off.  He has to make sure that the staff is doing their jo and that the menus are implemented correctly.  He is responsible for a kitchen brigade of sixteen people, although in Winter this number may be cut by half.  In the height of the Summer season he manages four sculleries, three salad ladies, four pizza chefs, two fish preppers and two fry boys.  All of this has been achieved through his own initiative as he had no footholds at The Grand and had to prove himself.

Another way that Graeme relieves pressure

It appears as if cooking for a living is an inherent quality.  Graeme speaks passionately about his career and says that he was born for it.  He grew up with his mother throwing ingredients together that tasted good and his father cooking Sunday lunch.  Graeme recalls cooking mother’s day breakfast for a friend’s mom at the age of six. the best part about the breakfast, she said, was that the kitchen was left clean.

It is a passion thing – I am always very comfortable in the kitchen.  I will just walk into a kitchen, take over and win.

While a tertiary education is what is required when applying for a position as a chef, Graeme says that you learn more about the industry from a practical point of view.  Grainger Bay has recognition because every six months they have to put students into the industry, who are the ambassadors of the institution.

When I was doing my placement at The Five Flies it was me, it was TCA students, it was Silwood students and it was Capsicum students, butthe Grainger Bay students just excelled and the rest just fell to the side.  Grainger Bay is the best possible hotel school you can attend.  They produce top level students because the standards are so high.  If you can’t pass the course – change your career.  If you actually pass the third year and make it into that second industry point, you are definitely born for it.

When questioned about the best and worst part of life as a student he said that it was party, party, party and the most difficult thing was getting up in the morning.

About long hours in the industry and work life balance, Graeme said that he has a very tense job description.  He is angry most of the time when people don’t do their jobs properly and he builds up a lot of frustration.  He gets rid of this irritation by playing soccer.  He has played league soccer from the age of five.  He also enjoys fishing.

When you are at work you think about work; but when you are at home you don’t think about work.

There is no bigger restaurant than The Grand and Graeme does not see himself growing any further where he is now because he cannot take on anymore responsibility and he believes that Cape Town has nothing more to offer.  His dream is to have his own restaurant, but for the meantime he is comfortable in his job but it remains to be seen what he will do next.

Life is a Beach at The Grand

Yesterday really tested my ‘It Will Happen’ willpower. I’m overly sensitive to pressure at the moment. Something happened at work that made me travel inward and put up all walls. I feel like whatever I do is never enough – in all areas of my life. I work so damn hard and I’m starting to resent all the energy I pour into work because really all I desire is to start a family.

Last night I was low. I felt weak. My chest hurt from pressure. After a testing day a work, I went to my sister’s house to look after her five year old and the simplicity in playing Lego with him made my heart ache more. I can totally understand why parents look forward to seeing their kids after work. I bought my nephew a Lego set, he didn’t thank me as he was too busy ripping it apart. However, once we’d finished building, he sat back on his bed whilst looking very pleased with himself and said ‘I love you.’ He’ll never know how thankful I am for his little heart loving me or how he got me through the evening.

I don’t have the energy for politics at work or the patience for people not being direct. It’s really difficult to keep a professional balance right now.  I feel like I’m an emotional bomb that’s going to explode sometime soon.

I don’t seem to always have this ‘Heart’ energy readily available as a Mid twenty something Northern [England] Alien in London. For me to have Creative energy I almost need to express another form of energy: Intellectual energy. I found that before this even, I need to express Physical energy. At the moment this is how they fall into each other. I can go to the gym, then go to work, and then I will feel like sketching or listening to music. I’m sure if they were weighted differently that might change, for instance if I had a Photography job I might feel like reading philosophy after I have reached a point perhaps. Even when I paint and draw I find that there needs to be a part of me at rest, a logical brain perhaps.

For me personally these Head, Heart and Hands energies are really distinct and I take the time to let them divide. They are Saltwater, to Fresh water, to Glacier water. Looking for ways to balance them and let them energise each other without privileging either. However when they are compartmentalised it is also helpful then to think about how they can flow into each others riverbeds.

For instance at work I try to tie in my creative side, whilst also being mindful of my Body and if I need to go for a walk or nourish myself. In the art studio I try to tie in societies context or important values as if the “Purpose of Art  is to give life a shape” as Shakespeare said. I would also like to feel my physical state informs my work too and I guess much like Yoga is for Meditation, it is important that health and muscles are poised to free the images onto the paper or canvas. Even when thinking about my physical energy I often look for ways to seek beauty or lessons along the way, which is to me, a case of balancing nature and technology in clever and creative ways such as going for a Mindful walk, or using an electronic reward star-chart to reach goals.

The place in my life I find myself, is like an exciting new home which needs individual touches, drawing from these three resources like a tidy tool kit.

What about you?

Image Credit: <bigthink.com>

1. I apologize if that was a bit dramatic.…Is that you can’t take it with you when you die. 1

Several years back one of my finance professors in business school hammered that point home to me.

He posed a question to the class: “If you made a quarter million dollars next year, how would you spend it?”

With it being a finance class, several students talked about the various ways they would invest the money to generate maximum ROI.

The professor then selected one student and asked him what he would do with his annual earnings (assuming a constant 250k) the next year and the next year and the next etc., going on for ten or so years and calculating estimated earnings off of the annual investment strategies on the white board.

Finally he said: “If after the 10th year you died, what would you do with it the next year?”

I don’t remember what the student said (although the question itself generated both gasps and laughs from the class). What I *do* remember is the realization that money’s real value comes mostly from the happiness you purchase with it.

Make as much money as you can… but make sure that you’re happy in the process.

I go on about money a lot, but the most important thing for me is (and always has been) to be happy.

I’ve succeeded in doing this, but can’t tell you how. You’ll have to figure it out for yourself (it’s different for every person).

As always, please share your thoughts below.

Best,

Rory

If you have questions about something you’ve read here (or simply want to connect) you can reach me at any of the following addresses: 

SomethingDifferentHR@gmail.com OR rorytrotter86@gmail.com

@RoryCTrotterJr

http://www.linkedin.com/in/roryctrotterjr

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(In fact, I’m supposed to be getting myself and the kids ready to go, as one will be going to a friends and the other has asked to go with me to a celebration for the 90 and over crowd at our church.  Then an afternoon of cleaning before my husband gets back from a week away.)

I can’t even tell you what has all happened or that is hanging over my life – one of those blurs that I will only be able to fully realize when I take out my calendar and journal weeks or months from now.

Yet, I have felt the valleys and mountain tops, and all those moments in between.  As an introvert by nature, and extrovert by training, both sides of me have been tested.  As a wife and mom, I feel I’ve been a big neglectful, but also know that it has been a time that has fed me and helped me be a better wife and mom.  As someone in ministry…

As someone in ministry I have been both blessed and have blessed.  God has surrounded me with some very amazing men and women.  New people have been brought into my life and dear friends have made their presence known.

In truth, I wonder if this time has been a preparation for something:  something only God knows.

The one thing that is sitting with me now, the one thing I just had to write about and share, was that it is truly through community that God works.

God has blessed me, me, a one-time girl who could barely talk to others, with meeting some extremely interesting and amazing people – and truly connecting with them!

God has blessed me, me, a woman once filled with shame, to have numerous people reach out and tell me how I have blessed them!

God has blessed me, me, someone who only wants to do God’s Will, with the knowledge that I am actually doing it!

It is in others that we see the face of Christ, and it is through others that we learn that we can be the face of Christ too.

Lord, help us all open ourselves to a deeper and stronger relationship with you, so that we may have deeper and stronger relationships with friends, family and strangers.  Amen.