I continue to read business books that describe all my mistakes. I continue to get older. It’s beginning to piss me off.

The good news is I can do something about the first statement. The second is called life. We’re all terminal.

Every time I’ve screwed up, I can look back and see a point in time where I knew it was screwed up. So not only did I screw up, but I knew I was screwing up. So then the question is why does a smart person do that? It’s all very simple. Fear. Fear of loosing a job, fear of confrontation, fear of being wrong, fear of exposing a weakness. The truth is because of fear all of these fear come true. It’s a viscous cycle.

So here’s the deal. I need to change a behavior. It’s not going to work to say “I’m not going to do that.” Because as history proves, simply saying “no” doesn’t work. I need to change my behavior. I’m starting a blog. It might be a small step, but as I write these blog entries I hope to improve my writing, put my frustration sin words, and objectively look at what I’m challenged with.

I also hope to share my ideas about technology, business and life.

I read this book just couple or days ago, and still feel thrilled due to the information that I got from this book.
I can’t wait to share with you all what I got from the book.

The book called “The Three Laws Of Performance” The authors are Steve Zaffron who is CEO of Vanto Group, an organizational performance consultancy, and a board member of Landmark Education. Dave Logan, Ph.D., co-founder of the CultureSync consultancy.

The chapter that I wanna share is about How A Situation Occurs Arises in Language.
This law focuses on the importance of understanding how people communicate beyond the spoken word. Body language, facial expressions and voice inflections mean as much as words. Individuals can say one thing but transmit an entirely different message through what they leave unsaid. Dysfunction is guaranteed when groups of co-workers refuse to speak or deal honestly with each other – or management – and swallow their feelings.

Opening the lines of communication doesn’t mean spouting off and expressing every thought in your head. It means speaking frankly about your concerns and discussing issues that affect performance. Bottling up your thoughts creates disorder and leaves no space for new ways of thinking. “Clearing out the clutter” is one way to open the door to better performance. Learning to identify “rackets” is another gateway to interpreting language and improving communication. Rackets are negative behavioral patterns that typically have four components:

1. A persistent complaint – “Bob never gets his assignments completed on time.”

2. A reaction – The complainer gets exasperated at the grievance or withdraws.

3. A continual “payoff” – The complainer benefits from feeling superior.

4. An emotional cost of racket behavior – Everyone is unhappy and relationships erode in the face of criticism and contention.

People engaged in rackets pretend that everything is fine when actually they lack closeness and amaraderie. Usually, people cannot identify the payoff and cost of a racket. They sense a threat, so they try to protect their territory and maintain control.

They feel they must always be right and they avoid any steps that could shift power to others. To eliminate rackets, voice the unsaid. People must examine the past and reframe the “game” to move ahead.

Read More About The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life (J-B Warren Bennis Series)

時間：98/11/17
地點：南橫東段；富里台23線

好像要開慢一點。

好像要開慢一點。

時間：98/11/16
地點：南橫東段

綠樹與藍天。

相對重力儀與垃圾桶。

Going Hard On The Site

Having a job is great. I am currently full of job however as my schedule had me working Sunday & Monday then Thursday, Friday, Saturday. The new week commenced with my schedule reading Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Yikes. that’s 6 days in a row. I like to stay busy and it’s smart to keep some consecutive days rolling so as not to forget cash register routines and such at a new job, but I am quite enjoying this day off. My next work day is the Friday after Thanksgiving. Gulp.

One of the 1st things I did upon being hired was go shoe shopping-yay! for comfortable business type shoes. For the past 4 years at Po’ohala I was lucky enough to wear running shoes at work but my wardrobe was sorely lacking in closed toe comfort footwear. We in Hawaii wear open toed sandals or slippahs. So off to Nordstrom Rack I go. Lucky me, I was able to find 3 pair that I thought fit the criteria of comfortable, able to pound that red tile floor and not look too dorky. So there goes my first paycheck before I even get my first paycheck. Two shoes are the same style in different subdued colors. Cute with a little heel. The third pair are red ballerina type flats with an athletic look and cool dragons swirling all around. Something else to be thankful for as I wear a sample size and can find shoes in my size every time.

Here’s the update… blisters and hot spots. Lots and lots of walking. Back and forth, up and down, here and there, to and fro, hither and yon. Next week I go back to the frumpy aunty-kine shoe store and get me a pair of REAL comfort cafeteria lady shoes…dorky or not. I plan to run not walk.

Er nimmt nicht einen Raketenwissenschaftler, um festzustellen, dass ein Geschäft, das das Berichten über keinen Profit für drei oder fünf Jahre hat, einfach überflüssig ist. Zu hängen ist nicht ratsam, an einer Beschäftigung, oder das Geschäft für fünf Jahre, die Sie nichts haben darzustellen für, Sachen hoffend verbessert sich. Mein Ratschlag ist abschätzen Ihr Leben, sehen, wenn Ihr Anblick verwirklicht wird mit, was Sie z.Z. tun.

Die meisten Leute fürchten das Unbekannte und was andere sagen, wenn sie ausfallen. Das Leben ist über die berechneten und geplanten Risiken Nehmens gut. Ich höre Leute zu bitten, „, was, wenn ich ausfalle?“ Aber sie können bitten nicht, „, was, wenn ich folge?“ Die Erwartung der Gesellschaft ist, meistens dass wir zu jeder Zeit uns einleiten etwas und festhalten möglicherweise an einer bestimmten Linie der Weiterentwicklung folgen.

Wenn wir geschehen auszufallen, beenden sie das Sagen oben, dass es offensichtlich etwas verkehrt mit uns gibt. Es ist diese Mentalität, die einige von uns Furcht in neue Geschäftschancen Ausfallen folglich hat riskieren gelassen, um Geschäftserfolg zu erzielen, und so Halt auf Projekten, die keine Frucht entblössen. Seien Sie genug und Tendenz fett, wo andere sich fürchten, denn Geschäft ist ganz über das Eingehen von Risiken. Alles, das Sie fordern, um zu tun, ist, die abzuschwächen Risiko und Sie verdienen Geld.

Die Wirklichkeit bleibt, dass, wenn Sachen nicht ausarbeiten, es Zeit ist, damit Sie weitergehen, sei es die kluge Karriere oder Geschäft. Seien Sie zu anderen Gelegenheiten geöffnet, lassen Sie einen Fall zurück planen, weil manchmal Sachen wie erwartet ausarbeiten nicht können können. Umgeben Sie sich mit aufgeschlossenen Einzelpersonen, Leute, die eher als Pessimist optimistisch sind. Hängen Sie heraus mit Völkern, die neue Geschäftsideen und -spitzen holen, Sie ist überrascht, dass es leuchtende Geschäftschancen gibt, in denen Sie ein Nebeneinkommen erwerben können. Beginnen Sie Ihren Kleinbetrieb heute und ergänzen Sie Ihr Monatseinkommen.

Über den Autor:

Stephen teilt seine Erfahrung auf on-line-Geschäfts-Ideen und Geschäfts-Marketingstrategien. Web site: Geschäftsstrategien

Artikel-Quelle: ArticlesBase.com – wann man Sektor-Gelegenheiten versucht

Er nimmt nicht einen Raketenwissenschaftler, um festzustellen, dass ein Geschäft, das das Berichten über keinen Profit für drei oder fünf Jahre hat, einfach überflüssig ist. Zu hängen ist nicht ratsam, an einer Beschäftigung, oder das Geschäft für fünf Jahre, die Sie nichts haben darzustellen für, Sachen hoffend verbessert sich. Mein Ratschlag ist abschätzen Ihr Leben, sehen, wenn Ihr Anblick verwirklicht wird mit, was Sie z.Z. tun.

Die meisten Leute fürchten das Unbekannte und was andere sagen, wenn sie ausfallen. Das Leben ist über die berechneten und geplanten Risiken Nehmens gut. Ich höre Leute zu bitten, „, was, wenn ich ausfalle?“ Aber sie können bitten nicht, „, was, wenn ich folge?“ Die Erwartung der Gesellschaft ist, meistens dass wir zu jeder Zeit uns einleiten etwas und festhalten möglicherweise an einer bestimmten Linie der Weiterentwicklung folgen.

Wenn wir geschehen auszufallen, beenden sie das Sagen oben, dass es offensichtlich etwas verkehrt mit uns gibt. Es ist diese Mentalität, die einige von uns Furcht in neue Geschäftschancen Ausfallen folglich hat riskieren gelassen, um Geschäftserfolg zu erzielen, und so Halt auf Projekten, die keine Frucht entblössen. Seien Sie genug und Tendenz fett, wo andere sich fürchten, denn Geschäft ist ganz über das Eingehen von Risiken. Alles, das Sie fordern, um zu tun, ist, die abzuschwächen Risiko und Sie verdienen Geld.

Die Wirklichkeit bleibt, dass, wenn Sachen nicht ausarbeiten, es Zeit ist, damit Sie weitergehen, sei es die kluge Karriere oder Geschäft. Seien Sie zu anderen Gelegenheiten geöffnet, lassen Sie einen Fall zurück planen, weil manchmal Sachen wie erwartet ausarbeiten nicht können können. Umgeben Sie sich mit aufgeschlossenen Einzelpersonen, Leute, die eher als Pessimist optimistisch sind. Hängen Sie heraus mit Völkern, die neue Geschäftsideen und -spitzen holen, Sie ist überrascht, dass es leuchtende Geschäftschancen gibt, in denen Sie ein Nebeneinkommen erwerben können. Beginnen Sie Ihren Kleinbetrieb heute und ergänzen Sie Ihr Monatseinkommen.

Renovations are zooming along.

Building is all done

Plastering is all done.

Cupboards are all in – truly I’m in heaven when I walk into my sewing room…vbg.

Painters are coming today – they will be here in less than half an hour and painting should be finished totally by Friday evening.

I have worked every day with Ashley – some full days, some days only the mornings.

We have a work experience student working with us for a couple of weeks.  Steve has finished Year 12 and is trying life as an electrician.  Best of all we know him although last time I saw him he was in nappies….roflmol.  He is wonderful. Hard working, polite, holds an conversation and best of all is nearly 6 foot tall – which makes life for little shorties like me, so much easier….vbg.

Nicola’s first orthodontist appointment was yesterday to have the spacers put in.  It was all so fast she didn’t have time to even complain – but she did still try to talk with a mouth full of tools and Orthodontists fingers…..lol.

It’s raining again – quite a bit last night and more today which has meant a rearrangement of what jobs are being done well.  None of us like getting bogged at a job site.

Got to run – washing to do, kids to drag out of bed and work to be started.

Have a lovely day.  Photos as soon as I catch my breath.

Before I forget……….

Want to know how to throw  a lunch room full of manly plasterers, plumbers and builders into disarray?

Pull out the socks you are knitting and sit quietly in the corner of the tea room knitting.  None of them knew what to do or say – although there were one or two questions along the lines of  “Don’t you have anything better to do” or “What are you knitting and why?”.  At least they knew what knitting was

My answer…..”None  of you will talk to me so I shall just sit and knit and listen in on all the gossip/garbage you lot talk.”

And they think women can talk/gossip/waffle!!!!!!!!

Next week I’m thinking of taking in some crochet…..evil grin.

The new Inlander with my Muggle Quidditch article is now available on newstands and online! I can’t bring myself to read it (for some reason that prospect makes me want to die of nervousness, and I know that a couple of small things I was very fond of got cut) (PS I know that’s just how it goes), but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. In fact, you should.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and this week for the first time ever the district closed down all week.  Those of us who are “Salaried Classified” could choose to work if we had things to do.  Well have you ever known a school secretary who didn’t have things to do?  Holidays are the perfect time to come in and get all those stacks of filing done.  In fact it’s just a great time to deal with all the stacks piled on the desk behind me.  And as far as stackers go, I am one of the worse or best, depending on how you look at it.  You could not make heads or tales of my stacks but I know where each piece of paper is in every one them.

By this time I really expected to have all my filing done so I could be happily decorating my office to look very holiday festive.  But a small setback yesterday pain wise has me here filing instead of deocrating today.  And I have to say it’s not as much fun.  I am kind of over this day already and would like to hit Target and the grocery on my way home then curl up in my pj’s and turn on a Christmas movie.  Notice I didn’t say curl up in my sweats or with a blanket, not this year, we are pushing low 80’s in the temps for today and tomorrow but, they say it will cool down for Black Friday.  So while I am putting up my tree it should be nice and cool.

I am very excited that I am just responsible for 2 side dishes this year. Instead of writing this blog I would be home, rushing to get the toliets cleaned, the prep work chopped and that table set.  NOt to mention cleaning those disgusting giblets out of the turkey cavity and then trying to decide what to do with them. Ahhh the passing of the guard so to speak.  Now my daughter, Kelly,  is doing all that. LOL (while she entertains an almost 4 year old).  I knew this day would eventually come and I would enjoy it but didn’t think it would be quiet as heavenly as it is.

In a couple hours I should be on the couch, my prep work done, enjoying a cold glass of wine with my kleenex box at hand wimpering thru one the endless movies I have DVR’d.  Now this is something to be Thankful for.  (I need to add it to my list.)

I hope you all have something to be Thankful for and have a wonderful holiday.

Enjoy

B

時間：昨天
地點：埡口隧道西端

差不多是這樣的情況

日期：98/11/15-25
地點：台東

這是第一天

這是最後一天

It is highly unusual for me to be coming to this part of the year without having a clear vision of what is store for me in the new year to come.  However since my decision to resign in July, uncertainty has been my constant companion and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It has made me think deeply about my vocation of teaching and I truly believe it is a vocation. I have also had to think about balancing the different roles I have in my life and all of that is productive.  I remember a saying “let go and let God” and that is what I have been doing for the last six months.  That isn’t easy when I’m used to having all my ducks in a row and knowing exactly what the next step will be.

As of this moment I know these things:

• My true passion is teaching.  I will teach in any primary year level.  I used to think that Prep would be too hard. Now I think it would be great fun.
• I am open to new and different experiences in teaching.  They will all be part of life’s rich tapestry.
• While I can be a competent homemaker, I’m not cut out to make it my full time occupation.
• When I am feeling contented and on top of things that feeling spreads to the rest of my family.

I’ve been doing an number of things to deal with the uncertainty around next year.  These include sticking to a regular daily and weekly routine, slowly getting the house more organised so that a return to work is made easier and training my boys in taking on more household responsibilities instead of being “waited on”.  I’ve made sure that I have regular social contact through my knitting groups and book club. I’m also being open to suggestions about what I might do.  I’ve applied for a number of positions in a range of different schools and in many different year levels for anything from six months to 12 months.  I’m willing to try new things but I feel that I need more than casual relief work to truly utilize my talents and to make a viable financial contribution to my family.  Four days out of 10 weeks is certainly not enough for us to live on!

I’m also looking after my health.  Weight Watchers and Contours are a big part of my life.  Our menu planning at home is improving and we are cooking more regularly.  I stay in touch with my doctors on a regular basis and follow their advice.  I’m still not the best sleeper but I think part of that is natural when I’m faced with not knowing what the new year will bring.

Okay, I’m a daydreamer. And well, dreaming, or daydreaming is how I come up with my story ideas. Well, I was laying in bed last night and I couldn’t get to sleep, so I started to think about this story I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, and I just couldn’t think of a way to start it. I can’t start books well. I suck at it. I’m much better going once I’ve already gotten it started, and I’m even better at endings, but not starts. But, while I was thinking, I came up with this. And I thought it was really funny. Though, I thought it was just me, but I asked a friend, and he found it funny to.

I stared at his green eyes. They were wide. Probably with fear, maybe something that I just couldn’t read. I didn’t know why I was doing this. Maybe it was just my curiosity; it had finally gotten the better of me.

Everything about him was unique. The shade of his eyes, his ruff skin, his large mouth, long tongue, small hands, large feet, and even the way his legs curved up when he was hunched over, ready to jump. Everything was special about him. No other had one thing the same about him. And I had seen a lot that looked just like him. But I knew that there was nothing about them that was truly the same. There was just something about him that felt different. I had never felt this way about any of the others. As soon as I had held him, touched him, I knew something was different about him. Something that made him special, in more then just appearance. I was about to test that. With one little kiss. That’s all it would take. One little kiss, and maybe, just maybe, he would turn out to be my Prince Charming. Or, maybe someone better, or just as good. I leaned in ever so slightly. I was ready to find out. I wasn’t afraid to take such a leap. I never had been.

“Croak!” I squealed as the frog jumped from my hands and hurried away from me. I laughed as I watch him retreat. Like I would have actually kissed him. That thing, covered in warts and who knows what else. No, I wouldn’t have actually kissed him. I didn’t want my Prince Charming that much. I was never going to let my mother read me another fairy tail as long as I lived. They gave me weird ideas.

I love this because it’s one of those things, that when you start reading it, you think it’s something else, but then something happens, or something is said, that you suddenly realize, it’s about something completely different then what you thought it was by how it started.<—Confusing much? Haha.

Solo November 24, 2009,

The first day of study covering the story was so difficult, not because of what I wanted to ask, but more on what I want to pour into the coverage ….. hufftt!!

To me this is something new in the world of journalism, but all I have to be learned, one thing that makes me often wonder how a good journalist if you want to cover news? how people judge whether the writing is good or not loaded ?……

Strong stamina, creative ideas continue to run ….. a little thought that I must not only be working on one area of work alone, whenever possible I could do it all, I hope this is the beginning of the future that I dreamed of .. ………..

Well, I forgot one little thing when I made Sonja’s picture. I just remembered that I had told Banana I would redo all my characters hair colors. Because I had them, most of them, having weird hair colors. (watched/read to many Manga’s) So, after remembering that, I did a quick redo of the picture, and made her blond. I almost gave her black hair, but I didn’t like it as much. Black hair gave her to much of a dark look, and she’s suppose to be shy, and quiet. So having a dark look with that kind of personality didn’t work with me.

Blond Sonja.

The school bathroom paradox

Graph by: InnocentLily via Graph Jam Builder

My four year old doesn’t have school this week (at all) but I still have to work. I know it’s wrong to just let him watch tv and play the Wii… but he will not just play cars or trains or build things quietly. He needs attention. I want to give him attention, but I need to work.

What *do* people do? I work at home… I have no childcare here. Yesterday he had a playdate, that was great. (Except he wanted to come home and play Wii Sports Resort.) We can’t have a playdate every day. My oldest doesn’t come home for another hour, and it’s not like they play *so* well together. They’re more likely to fight, really.

But outside it’s cold and damp, he doesn’t want to play there. We have a million games and toys and puzzles, blocks, train sets, Lincoln Logs, Legos, books… you name it! How do you get your child to engage in indoor independent play?

Me: “My legs really hurt from driving so much yesterday.”

Friend: “Yeah, my whole body hurts, but… I can’t tell if it’s because I’m sick or because I had sex for eight consecutive hours.”

***

Lesson: You should never assume, regardless of expectation, that you know what someone is going to say. Or how they’re going to act. Or what they’re going to do. For instance: I visited a dear friend of mine on Sunday. We met up in our hometown, the point halfway between our new, adult lives. As holy terrors in high school, we speculate that should we show up on pretty much any of our old teachers’ doorsteps together now? The poor thing would batten down the hatches and grab a shotgun, no question. I mean, I made soap opera stars look rational, and she was a Man-Hating Goth-Came-Drunk-to-School-Once Badass.  Fabulously, these days she’s a married, pregnant Special Education pre-school teacher. And, though not married or pregnant, I have calmed down considerably. And I doubt that many people in my Now-Life would believe the story about that one time when I was sixteen and I stuck my entire torso out of the side of a moving vehicle to flip off the police officer that was tailing us, all the while screaming “F*CK YOU, MOTHERF*CKER!!” and laughing maniacally.

But it happened.

These days, I get associated a lot with responsibility. Diligence. Workaholic-ism. Routine. Predictability. Nesting. And while I hate it because, ohmygodhowboring, I can’t deny it, either. My sincere fear of losing control or of not being stable (thanks, Childhood) made me a bit obsessed with being…anchored. And solid. Which frankly? Is really stupid.

So, Friday morning. It suddenly hits me that hey, I have FOUR JOBS. Four.  FOUR. One regular career job (good), one internet job (fun), one some-weekday-evenings job (fulfilling), and one weekend retail job (ouch). People? That is some superfluous shit right there. I’m only twenty-five. I should have a life. I should still be looking forward to weekends, where I can chill with my friends and be hungover or sit on the couch in my underwear watching t.v. all day. While drinking! All of it while drinking! And since, for a long, long long super long time now, the weekend retail thing made me feel little and demeaned (sorry, but ‘to serve coffee to assholes and/or help assholes find books’ is not why I got a degree), that was the one that needed to go. And fast.

So. Friday night. At a show. Phil, Lenny and I near the back:

Phil: “ARWEN! You’re gonna come party after the show, right?”

Me: “I dunno…I have to work in the morning.”

Phil: *huge sigh of disappointment coupled with raised eyebrow* “Right. That job you wish you didn’t have.”

Me: “Heh…*eureka moment* …Yeah. Why do I have this job?”

Lenny: “What’re you talking about?”

Me: “Oh, you know. Working tomorrow. No party.”

: “Should I quit? I should quit…I SHOULD QUIT! Should I quit?“

Lenny: “Uh, yeah.”

Me: “…should I quit right…now?”

Lenny: “Uh, yeah!”

Me: “…Okay. Okay I think I will. Please excuse me for a moment.”

And so I did. Over the phone. And it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And while the boring, static, responsible part of me sat in a far corner of my brain and felt guilty about the abrupt nature of The Quitting, leaving people in the lurch, bla bla ridiculous bla– the fun, happy, sane part of me danced around barefoot all over my brain, writing short stories and drinking mimosas. Everyone was remarkably supportive. My friends get to see me again! My family can visit! I CAN SLEEP IN SOMETIMES.  So what if I have a little less cash? It’s not like they were paying me buckets. Life is about living, and eating, and loving, and seeing, and doing– not about working, and hating, and complaining, and missing out. And while this is common knowledge to most, my scared and stubborn ass needed a breaking point. A breaking point and a little booze. And some really wonderful (patient) people to keep pushing me to the brink of sanity. I was seriously turning into a droning bitch there for awhile.

Conclusion: Sometimes? The best thing you can do for yourself is just say f*ck it! And mean it.

And damn, did I mean it.

***